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nothing_o after_o the_o custom_n of_o flatterer_n but_o that_o whatsoever_o i_o be_o to_o deliaer_fw-mi shall_v be_v as_o if_o it_o be_v upon_o my_o oath_n and_o yet_o still_o it_o will_v fall_v short_a of_o her_o merit_n and_o now_o this_o shall_v authorise_v i_o also_o to_o take_v our_o bless_a lord_n to_o witness_v that_o to_o the_o best_a of_o my_o poor_a understanding_n i_o have_v not_o mistake_v myself_o about_o the_o celebration_n which_o here_o i_o make_v of_o our_o saint_n in_o the_o point_n of_o have_v praise_v she_o too_o much_o but_o rather_o that_o i_o be_o grow_v to_o be_v her_o debtor_n than_o her_o creditor_n herein_o for_o if_o ever_o there_o have_v be_v in_o the_o whole_a world_n many_o woman_n of_o more_o admirable_a part_n &_o perfection_n both_o in_o their_o intellectual_n &_o their_o moral_n which_o i_o account_v to_o be_v as_o the_o simple_n of_o a_o soul_n &_o in_o the_o use_n also_o thereof_o whereby_o those_o simple_n grow_v to_o be_v mix_v and_o whether_o we_o shall_v consider_v they_o in_o the_o natural_a or_o supernatural_a way_n it_o be_v more_o than_o i_o have_v be_v able_a to_o know_v either_o by_o read_v or_o else_o by_o discourse_n &_o yet_o i_o have_v be_v careful_a enough_o to_o inquire_v but_o now_o the_o certainty_n of_o this_o truth_n will_v yet_o even_o further_o appear_v when_o i_o shall_v tell_v you_o that_o which_o follow_v and_o it_o be_v that_o when_o the_o saint_n make_v observation_n &_o have_v experience_n of_o the_o world_n be_v great_a frailty_n and_o less_o perfection_n and_o that_o the_o religious_a order_n and_o house_n where_o she_o have_v enter_v have_v obtain_v certain_a relaxation_n and_o dispensation_n from_o diverse_a strict_a clause_n and_o condition_n of_o the_o first_o institute_n and_o when_o she_o have_v also_o meet_v with_o some_o custom_n through_o which_o even_o herself_o have_v receive_v disadvantage_n by_o dissipation_n and_o diminution_n of_o spirit_n as_o namely_o in_o regard_n of_o great_a &_o public_a resort_n to_o the_o house_n and_o a_o multitude_n of_o unnecessary_a conversation_n and_o especial_o for_o that_o they_o be_v not_o bind_v to_o continual_a clausure_n but_o have_v liberty_n to_o go_v abroad_o though_o yet_o only_o by_o leave_n of_o their_o superior_n to_o visit_v their_o parent_n and_o near_a kindred_n at_o some_o time_n she_o grow_v into_o a_o full_a resolution_n that_o if_o ever_o it_o shall_v be_v in_o her_o power_n to_o free_v herself_o from_o that_o course_n and_o to_o set_v more_o limit_v bound_n upon_o her_o way_n and_o to_o invite_v other_o also_o by_o her_o example_n to_o express_v their_o great_a desire_n to_o gain_v and_o perfect_a soul_n she_o will_v not_o fail_v to_o put_v that_o purpose_n of_o she_o in_o execution_n and_o so_o after_o the_o expire_a of_o some_o time_n &_o the_o encounter_v of_o many_o impediment_n and_o the_o overcome_v a_o world_n of_o difficulty_n she_o grow_v to_o express_v her_o love_n to_o our_o b_o lord_n but_o in_o the_o person_n of_o such_o creature_n as_o for_o who_o he_o die_v to_o such_o a_o proportion_n and_o in_o so_o high_a a_o kind_n as_o to_o project_v and_o perfect_a so_o great_a and_o hard_o a_o work_n as_o that_o perhaps_o no_o woman_n will_v be_v see_v to_o have_v ever_o procure_v and_o perform_v the_o like_a for_o to_o reform_v a_o religious_a order_n and_o to_o reduce_v it_o to_o the_o first_o strict_a institute_n be_v a_o matter_n of_o much_o more_o difficulty_n then_o to_o find_v one_o and_o for_o a_o woman_n who_o be_v of_o no_o absolute_a power_n to_o command_v to_o pass_v through_o so_o many_o impediment_n and_o to_o win_v the_o prize_n and_o to_o adorn_v even_o that_o original_a rule_n itself_o with_o so_o many_o holy_a and_o wise_a document_n and_o constitution_n of_o her_o own_o for_o the_o raise_n and_o true_a refine_n of_o spirit_n according_a to_o the_o necessity_n and_o exigence_n of_o those_o present_a most_o deprave_a time_n make_v the_o business_n become_v yet_o 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here_o of_o what_o it_o may_v import_v if_o such_o person_n be_v to_o preach_v or_o teach_v other_o for_o than_o it_o will_v be_v fit_a to_o serve_v themselves_o of_o that_o advantage_n towards_o the_o assist_a of_o their_o neighbour_n to_o that_o good_a and_o to_o help_v also_o poor_a people_n who_o know_v very_o little_a like_v i_o for_o charity_n be_v a_o very_a great_a matter_n and_o so_o be_v this_o help_a soul_n forward_o so_o that_o always_o it_o be_v do_v pure_o for_o god_n but_o now_o in_o these_o time_n of_o possess_v this_o great_a quiet_a let_v the_o soul_n be_v suffer_v to_o remain_v in_o rest_n with_o her_o true_a repose_n and_o let_v learning_n be_v lay_v aside_o for_o time_n will_v come_v afterward_o when_o it_o will_v fallout_a to_o be_v hold_v in_o so_o high_a account_n that_o they_o will_v by_o no_o mean_n have_v miss_v that_o treasure_n of_o knowledge_n if_o it_o be_v but_o only_o for_o the_o power_n it_o give_v they_o to_o do_v more_o and_o better_a service_n to_o 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this_o reason_n and_o upon_o many_o other_o consideration_n do_v i_o advertise_v in_o the_o first_o degree_n and_o state_n of_o prayer_n which_o answer_v to_o the_o first_o way_n of_o draw_v water_n in_o the_o garden_n that_o it_o be_v a_o all_o principal_a business_n when_o the_o soul_n be_v enter_v first_o upon_o prayer_n to_o begin_v to_o untie_v herself_o from_o the_o desire_n of_o all_o kind_n of_o sensible_a contentment_n and_o to_o enter_v upon_o this_o only_o resolution_n to_o help_v our_o lord_n jesus_n to_o carry_v his_o cross_n like_o good_a cavalier_n who_o be_v resolve_v to_o serve_v their_o king_n without_o wage_n since_o they_o be_v so_o sure_a of_o he_o as_o they_o be_v and_o we_o be_v also_o still_o to_o carry_v our_o eye_n upon_o that_o true_a and_o everlasting_a kingdom_n which_o we_o procure_v to_o acquire_v it_o be_v a_o very_a great_a point_n to_o have_v this_o ever_o in_o view_n and_o especial_o in_o the_o beginning_n for_o afterward_o it_o be_v see_v so_o very_o 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it_o say_v he_o this_o can_v grow_v but_o from_o one_o of_o these_o two_o occasion_n namely_o that_o either_o it_o be_v because_o they_o will_v murmur_v against_o you_o orel_n for_o that_o they_o will_v praise_v and_o magnifye_v i_o mean_v that_o they_o who_o shall_v believe_v it_o will_v praise_v he_o and_o they_o who_o shall_v not_o believe_v it_o will_v condemn_v i_o though_o yet_o without_o any_o fault_n at_o all_o of_o i_o but_o he_o say_v that_o both_o those_o thing_n will_v prove_v to_o be_v of_o advantage_n to_o i_o and_o that_o therefore_o i_o must_v no_o long_o be_v trouble_v at_o it_o this_o quiet_v i_o very_o much_o then_o and_o it_o also_o comfort_v i_o now_o whensoever_o i_o call_v it_o to_o mind_n this_o temptation_n come_v on_o so_o far_o that_o it_o give_v i_o a_o inclination_n to_o quit_v this_o place_n and_o to_o carry_v my_o fortune_n with_o i_o to_o another_o monastery_n which_o be_v very_o much_o more_o enclose_v and_o shut_v up_o then_o that_o wherein_o i_o be_v 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person_n as_o to_o who_o our_o lord_n will_v have_v it_o know_v that_o he_o do_v she_o such_o favour_n as_o these_o for_o upon_o any_o such_o soul_n as_o this_o a_o thousand_o watchful_a eye_n will_v be_v cast_v whereas_o there_o will_v not_o be_v one_o upon_o a_o whole_a thousand_o of_o such_o other_o soul_n as_o be_v of_o a_o contrary_a make_n and_o there_o be_v real_o much_o cause_n to_o fear_v this_o and_o it_o ought_v to_o have_v be_v my_o fear_n that_o the_o other_o be_v truth_n not_o humility_n but_o pusillanimity_n for_o a_o soul_n which_o almighty_a god_n permit_v to_o be_v expose_v thus_o to_o the_o sight_n of_o the_o world_n may_v expect_v to_o be_v a_o martyr_n of_o the_o same_o world_n for_o if_o she_o will_v not_o die_v to_o it_o she_o shall_v die_v by_o it_o for_o my_o part_n i_o real_o see_v nothing_o in_o this_o thing_n call_v world_n which_o seem_v good_a to_o i_o except_o only_o that_o it_o give_v not_o way_n that_o worthy_a and_o good_a people_n shall_v be_v 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mortify_v her_o passion_n and_o yet_o these_o man_n will_v needs_o expect_v that_o she_o shall_v remain_v as_o entire_a and_o firm_a as_o they_o have_v read_v of_o saint_n themselves_o after_o they_o be_v confirm_v in_o grace_n the_o particular_n which_o occur_v in_o this_o kind_n be_v to_o give_v a_o man_n cause_n to_o wonder_n and_o withal_o even_o to_o afflict_v we_o to_o the_o hart_n to_o see_v so_o many_o soul_n turn_v back_o again_o which_o know_v not_o poor_a creature_n as_o they_o be_v what_o shift_n to_o make_v for_o themselves_o and_o so_o do_v i_o believe_v that_o i_o have_v also_o do_v if_o our_o
they_o but_o all_o goodness_n and_o all_o care_n also_o of_o my_o good_a but_o pass_v on_o from_o that_o tender_a age_n to_o be_v able_a to_o begin_v to_o understand_v the_o benefit_n and_o gift_n of_o nature_n which_o our_o lord_n have_v bestow_v upon_o i_o which_o other_o esteem_v and_o say_v to_o be_v great_a in_o steed_n of_o give_v he_o thanks_n for_o the_o same_o i_o begin_v to_o serve_v myself_o of_o they_o all_o towards_o the_o offence_n of_o his_o divine_a majesty_n as_o i_o shall_v now_o declare_v the_o second_o chapter_n which_o show_v how_o she_o go_v lose_v in_o the_o way_n of_o virtue_n and_o how_o very_o much_o it_o import_v to_o converse_v in_o childhood_n with_o virtuous_a person_n i_o believe_v that_o a_o certain_a thing_n whereof_o i_o will_v now_o give_v account_n begin_v to_o do_v i_o a_o great_a deal_n of_o hurt_n sometime_o i_o grow_v to_o consider_v how_o ill_o those_o parent_n do_v who_o procure_v not_o that_o their_o child_n shall_v be_v ever_o see_v example_n 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child_n in_o such_o sort_n as_o to_o divert_v they_o from_o the_o thought_n of_o worse_a thing_n my_o father_n be_v yet_o so_o much_o trouble_v at_o this_o that_o particular_a care_n be_v have_v that_o he_o may_v not_o kouw_v it_o but_o i_o in_o the_o mean_a time_n remain_v with_o the_o custom_n of_o read_v these_o book_n and_o that_o little_a fault_n of_o i_o which_o even_o i_o myself_o discern_v therein_o begin_v to_o cool_v my_o good_a desire_n and_o be_v the_o reason_n why_o i_o also_o grow_v to_o fail_v in_o the_o rest_n and_o i_o make_v myself_o believe_v that_o it_o be_v not_o very_o ill_o do_v though_o yet_o i_o spend_v many_o hour_n both_o of_o the_o day_n and_o night_n in_o so_o vain_a a_o exercise_n and_o though_o it_o be_v still_o conceal_v from_o my_o father_n but_o i_o be_v possess_v heerwith_n in_o such_o extremity_n that_o if_o perhaps_o i_o can_v not_o get_v some_o new_a book_n i_o see_v not_o how_o i_o can_v be_v in_o contentment_n i_o begin_v also_o to_o make_v myself_o fine_a and_o to_o desire_v to_o grow_v acceptable_a in_o seem_v handsome_a and_o i_o take_v much_o care_n of_o my_o hand_n and_o of_o my_o hair_n and_o to_o get_v choice_a perfume_n together_o with_o all_o those_o vanity_n which_o it_o be_v possible_a for_o i_o to_o incurte_n by_o this_o mean_n which_o i_o confess_v be_v enough_o in_o regard_n that_o i_o be_v very_o curious_a in_o this_o kind_n i_o have_v only_o no_o ill_a intention_n nor_o desire_v i_o upon_o any_o term_n that_o any_o creature_n shall_v offend_v almighty_a god_n upon_o any_o occasion_n of_o i_o but_o i_o continue_v in_o so_o great_a a_o curiosity_n for_o daintiness_n and_o cleanlines_n as_o be_v even_o beyond_o all_o reason_n and_o those_o thing_n which_o for_o many_o year_n i_o conceive_v to_o be_v of_o no_o sin_n at_o all_o i_o find_v now_o how_o very_o ill_o they_o be_v now_o i_o have_v certain_a cousin-german_n who_o frequent_v my_o father_n house_n in_o familiar_a manner_n no_o other_o have_v any_o such_o liberty_n as_o that_o for_o my_o father_n be_v very_o wary_a and_o reserve_v in_o this_o kind_n but_o i_o will_v to_o god_n he_o have_v also_o be_v so_o in_o respect_n of_o my_o cousin_n because_o now_o i_o discern_v the_o danger_n that_o it_o be_v for_o such_o as_o be_v to_o begin_v to_o plant_v virtue_n in_o the_o soul_n to_o treat_v with_o person_n who_o know_v not_o in_o true_a account_n how_o great_a the_o vanity_n of_o the_o world_n be_v but_o rather_o be_v incline_v to_o awake_v &_o stir_v other_o up_o to_o cast_v themselves_o also_o into_o the_o same_o danger_n these_o kinsman_n of_o i_o be_v in_o effect_n of_o my_o own_o age_n or_o rather_o a_o little_o elder_a than_o i._o we_o be_v usual_o together_o and_o they_o carry_v great_a affection_n to_o i_o and_o in_o all_o thing_n which_o give_v they_o contentment_n i_o be_v willing_a to_o uphold_v the_o discourse_n and_o give_v ear_n to_o the_o success_n of_o their_o love_n to_o other_o and_o such_o other_o foolery_n as_o be_v good_a for_o nothing_o yea_o and_o which_o be_v worse_o i_o grow_v by_o these_o mean_n to_o lay_v my_o soul_n open_a to_o be_v look_v upon_o by_o certain_a idle_a thought_n which_o be_v the_o cause_n of_o all_o the_o ensue_a ill_a if_o i_o be_v worthy_a to_o advise_v parent_n i_o will_v wish_v they_o to_o take_v great_a heed_n what_o kind_n of_o person_n they_o admit_v to_o converse_v with_o their_o child_n for_o much_o harm_n may_v grow_v from_o thence_o since_o the_o natural_a condition_n of_o mankind_n will_v never_o climb_v up_o so_o easy_o towards_o good_a as_o decline_v towards_o ill_n at_o least_o it_o happen_v so_o to_o i_o i_o have_v a_o sister_n much_o elder_a than_o myself_o of_o who_o purity_n and_o goodness_n whereof_o she_o have_v great_a store_n i_o take_v no_o part_n but_o i_o fail_v not_o to_o take_v all_o hurt_n from_o a_o certain_a other_o kinswoman_n of_o i_o who_o have_v also_o familiar_a entry_n into_o our_o house_n now_o she_o be_v of_o so_o light_a and_o guiddie_a a_o conversation_n that_o my_o mother_n have_v use_v several_a diligence_n to_o divert_v she_o from_o familiarity_n with_o us._n for_o it_o seem_v she_o do_v even_o half_o foresee_v the_o mischief_n which_o be_v to_o grow_v upon_o i_o by_o her_o mean_n and_o yet_o on_o the_o other_o side_n the_o occasion_n be_v so_o great_a &_o fair_a whereby_o she_o be_v to_o enter_v that_o even_o my_o mother_n can_v not_o tell_v how_o to_o decline_v it_o with_o this_o creature_n as_o i_o be_v say_v do_v i_o come_v to_o have_v much_o delight_n to_o entertain_v myself_o with_o she_o be_v my_o conversation_n and_o my_o discourse_n because_o i_o find_v that_o she_o employ_v herself_o willing_o upon_o all_o those_o way_n of_o pass_v my_o time_n wherein_o i_o delight_v most_o yea_o and_o sometime_o she_o will_v embark_v i_o in_o they_o of_o herself_o give_v i_o part_n and_o knowledge_n of_o all_o her_o own_o conversation_n and_o vanity_n till_o i_o begin_v to_o be_v familiar_a with_o she_o when_o i_o think_v i_o be_v some_o fourteen_o year_n old_a or_o rather_o a_o little_a more_o i_o mean_v till_o she_o have_v wrought_v herself_o into_o so_o much_o friendship_n with_o i_o as_o to_o make_v i_o partake_v the_o knowledge_n of_o all_o her_o little_a affair_n i_o be_o much_o incline_v to_o think_v that_o i_o have_v never_o forfeit_v the_o favour_n of_o almighty_a god_n by_o any_o mortal_a sin_n nor_o ever_o forsake_v the_o fear_n of_o his_o divine_a majesty_n though_o yet_o still_o i_o fear_v more_o to_o loose_v my_o honour_n this_o last_o point_n be_v of_o power_n enough_o with_o i_o for_o not_o permit_v i_o to_o loose_v it_o outright_o nor_o do_v i_o conceive_v that_o any_o thing_n of_o this_o world_n can_v make_v i_o change_v that_o resolution_n nor_o be_v there_o any_o person_n alive_a who_o can_v win_v i_o to_o yield_v myself_o up_o to_o that_o misery_n i_o will_v to_o god_n i_o have_v so_o abound_v in_o strength_n &_o courage_n as_o not_o to_o make_v one_o pace_n against_o the_o honour_n of_o his_o divine_a majesty_n as_o even_o a_o kind_n of_o natural_a constitution_n of_o mind_n confirm_v i_o towards_o the_o not_o lose_v that_o wherein_o i_o hold_v the_o honour_n of_o this_o world_n to_o consist_v though_o yet_o i_o consider_v not_o the_o while_n that_o i_o lose_v even_o that_o also_o many_o way_n for_o the_o vain_a uphold_v hereof_o i_o have_v even_o a_o extreme_a resolution_n though_o yet_o for_o the_o proper_a and_o fit_a mean_n which_o be_v necessary_a for_o preserve_v it_o i_o use_v none_o at_o all_o only_o i_o be_v earnest_a in_o take_v care_n that_o i_o may_v by_o
credo_fw-la though_o yet_o still_o not_o by_o way_n of_o discourse_n than_o we_o can_v tell_v how_o to_o understand_v with_o all_o our_o humane_a diligence_n of_o this_o world_n in_o the_o compass_n of_o many_o year_n but_o now_o to_o exercise_v and_o employ_v the_o power_n of_o the_o mind_n and_o yet_o the_o while_n to_o think_v of_o make_v they_o stand_v at_o a_o stay_n be_v a_o senseless_a kind_n of_o fancy_n and_o foolery_n and_o i_o say_v and_o say_v again_o though_o perhaps_o it_o be_v not_o well_o understand_v that_o this_o be_v no_o act_n of_o any_o great_a humility_n and_o though_o it_o shall_v not_o be_v guilty_a of_o be_v a_o fault_n yet_o it_o will_v not_o fail_v to_o be_v subject_a to_o the_o punishment_n for_o at_o least_o it_o will_v be_v all_o labour_n lose_v and_o the_o soul_n find_v itself_o to_o remain_v with_o a_o odd_a little_a kind_n of_o disgust_n as_o when_o a_o man_n go_v to_o leap_v when_o yet_o man_n hold_v he_o fast_o by_o the_o back_n for_o such_o a_o one_o seem_v already_o to_o have_v employ_v all_o his_o strength_n to_o do_v somewhat_o which_o he_o desire_v and_o yet_o find_v himself_o without_o effect_v what_o he_o pretend_v and_o so_o whosoever_o will_v consider_v the_o matter_n well_o shall_v come_v to_o discern_v by_o the_o slender_a gain_n which_o he_o make_v this_o little_a half_a invisible_a dust_n of_o the_o want_n of_o humility_n whereof_o i_o speak_v for_o in_o fine_a this_o virtue_n have_v that_o excellency_n among_o other_o in_o it_o that_o there_o be_v no_o work_n or_o action_n in_o the_o world_n if_o it_o be_v accompany_v with_o that_o virtue_n which_o will_v ever_o leave_v the_o soul_n in_o disgust_n there_o be_v diverse_a truth_n year_n when_o i_o be_v wont_a to_o read_v many_o thing_n and_o yet_o understand_v none_o of_o they_o all_o and_o there_o be_v afterward_o also_o a_o long_a time_n when_o though_o god_n give_v i_o ability_n to_o understand_v yet_o can_v i_o not_o speak_v a_o word_n wherewith_o to_o make_v it_o be_v understand_v by_o other_o and_o this_o point_n cost_v i_o no_o small_a labour_n but_o when_o his_o divine_a majesty_n have_v a_o mind_n to_o teach_v it_o he_o do_v it_o so_o &_o all_o at_o a_o instant_n that_o i_o be_o amaze_v and_o one_o thing_n i_o can_v say_v with_o much_o truth_n that_o though_o i_o speak_v with_o many_o spiritual_a person_n who_o have_v a_o mind_n to_o make_v i_o understand_v what_o our_o lord_n impart_v to_o i_o that_o so_o i_o may_v the_o better_o declare_v thing_n in_o particular_a and_o clear_a manner_n to_o they_o it_o be_v certain_a that_o my_o dulness_n be_v so_o great_a as_o that_o their_o discourse_n be_v not_o of_o any_o use_n to_o i_o at_o all_o and_o perhaps_o our_o bless_a lord_n as_o his_o divine_a majesty_n vouchsafe_v still_o to_o be_v my_o master_n &_o let_v he_o be_v bless_v for_o ever_o since_o it_o be_v confusion_n enough_o for_o i_o to_o be_v able_a to_o say_v thus_o much_o with_o truth_n be_v please_v that_o i_o shall_v have_v no_o body_n to_o thank_v for_o it_o but_o himself_o and_o that_o without_o my_o desire_v or_o even_o wish_v it_o for_o in_o this_o i_o be_v not_o a_o whitt_n curious_a wherein_o it_o may_v have_v be_v a_o virtue_n to_o be_v so_o but_o i_o be_v so_o about_o the_o vanity_n of_o the_o world_n he_o will_v give_v i_o to_o understand_v and_o comprehend_v it_o with_o all_o claritie_n yea_o and_o so_o as_o that_o i_o can_v unfold_v it_o also_o to_o other_o in_o such_o sort_n as_o that_o man_n be_v amaze_v at_o it_o and_o myself_o more_o than_o any_o of_o my_o ghostly_a father_n because_o i_o understand_v i_o own_o dulness_n better_a than_o they_o nor_o be_v it_o any_o long_a time_n since_o this_o happen_v to_o i_o and_o so_o i_o procure_v not_o to_o know_v those_o thing_n which_o our_o lord_n have_v not_o teach_v i_o but_o i_o only_o consider_v and_o take_v care_n of_o they_o so_o far_o as_o whereby_o my_o conscience_n may_v be_v concern_v i_o return_v yet_o once_o again_o to_o advise_v and_o declare_v that_o it_o will_v import_v we_o very_o much_o not_o to_o error_n elevate_v and_o raise_v our_o spirit_n unless_o our_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o elevate_v and_o raise_v it_o which_o if_o he_o do_v it_o will_v instant_o be_v understand_v and_o especial_o this_o be_v more_o dangerous_a for_o woman_n for_o the_o devil_n may_v bring_v some_o illusion_n upon_o they_o though_o yet_o withal_o i_o hold_v it_o for_o very_o certain_a that_o our_o lord_n will_v not_o permit_v that_o the_o devil_n shall_v be_v able_a to_o hurt_v any_o such_o person_n as_o shall_v procure_v to_o approach_v his_o divine_a majesty_n with_o humility_n but_o rather_o that_o he_o shall_v be_v able_a to_o give_v himself_o more_o advantage_n and_o profit_n by_o that_o whereby_o the_o devil_n mean_v to_o destroy_v he_o but_o now_o in_o regard_n that_o this_o way_n of_o beginner_n in_o the_o exercise_n of_o mental_a prayer_n be_v more_o beat_v and_o because_o the_o admonition_n which_o i_o have_v give_v import_n much_o i_o have_v enlarge_v myself_o thus_o far_o though_o yet_o other_o will_v certain_o have_v write_v much_o better_a of_o it_o but_o thus_o much_o do_v i_o confess_v and_o i_o have_v express_v myself_o herein_o with_o abundance_n of_o confusion_n and_o shame_n though_o yet_o still_o not_o with_o so_o much_o as_o i_o ought_v to_o have_v have_v let_v our_o lord_n be_v ever_o bless_v for_o all_o since_o he_o permit_v and_o be_v please_v that_o so_o miserable_a a_o creature_n as_o i_o shall_v speak_v of_o thing_n belong_v to_o his_o divine_a majesty_n and_o those_o thing_n such_o and_o so_o high_a the_o thirteen_o chapter_n she_o proceed_v in_o this_o first_o degree_n and_o state_n of_o prayer_n and_o give_v advice_n against_o some_o temptation_n which_o the_o devil_n be_v sometime_o wont_a to_o bring_v this_o discourse_n be_v very_o profitable_a i_o have_v think_v fit_a to_o speak_v here_o of_o certain_a temptation_n which_o i_o have_v find_v to_o be_v bring_v against_o some_o in_o their_o beginning_n to_o use_v mental_a prayer_n and_o some_o i_o have_v feel_v myself_o and_o i_o will_v also_o give_v some_o advice_n which_o i_o hold_v to_o be_v necessary_a herein_o let_v therefore_o a_o saint_n beginner_n procure_v to_o goeon_a with_o great_a alacrity_n and_o liberty_n of_o spirit_n for_o there_o be_v some_o who_o be_v apt_a to_o think_v that_o all_o their_o devotion_n be_v instant_o to_o vanish_v if_o they_o do_v never_o so_o little_a amiss_o therein_o it_o be_v true_a that_o it_o will_v be_v very_o fit_a to_o continue_v in_o a_o holy_a doubt_n and_o fear_v of_o themselves_o that_o so_o they_o may_v not_o be_v confident_a at_o all_o to_o put_v themselves_o into_o any_o occasion_n wherein_o our_o lord_n be_v wont_a to_o be_v offend_v for_o it_o will_v ever_o be_v very_o necessary_a to_o use_v this_o actual_a diligence_n till_o one_o be_v very_o entire_a in_o the_o possession_n of_o virtue_n and_o there_o be_v not_o many_o who_o may_v be_v so_o very_o confident_a of_o themselves_o as_o that_o in_o such_o occasion_n which_o have_v well_o conformity_n with_o their_o natural_a disposition_n and_o inclination_n they_o may_v be_v out_o of_o care_n and_o fear_n and_o in_o fine_a it_o will_v ever_o be_v fit_a that_o so_o long_o as_o we_o shall_v live_v in_o this_o world_n we_o consider_v our_o miserable_a nature_n though_o it_o be_v but_o even_o for_o the_o continual_a exercise_n of_o humility_n but_o there_o be_v many_o time_n when_o it_o be_v permit_v as_o i_o have_v say_v to_o be_v take_v recreation_n though_o it_o be_v but_o to_o enable_v we_o the_o better_a to_o return_v the_o more_o encourage_v and_o fortify_v towards_o the_o make_n of_o prayer_n in_o all_o thing_n it_o will_v ever_o be_v needful_a to_o use_v discretion_n and_o withal_o to_o have_v great_a confidence_n in_o god_n for_o it_o be_v by_o no_o mean_n fit_a to_o go_v lessen_v &_o diminish_v our_o desire_n but_o to_o believe_v of_o almighty_a god_n that_o if_o we_o will_v endeavour_v earnest_o by_o little_a and_o little_a we_o may_v by_o the_o favour_n of_o his_o divine_a majesty_n arrive_v though_o it_o be_v not_o present_o where_o many_o saint_n have_v arrive_v who_o if_o they_o have_v never_o resolve_v to_o aspire_v to_o perfection_n and_o have_v not_o also_o endeavour_v by_o little_a and_o little_a to_o acquire_v it_o will_v never_o have_v be_v able_a to_o obtain_v so_o high_a a_o state_n his_o divine_a majesty_n be_v a_o very_a great_a friend_n and_o favourer_n of_o hart_n courageous_a soul_n so_o that_o withal_o they_o proceed_v with_o humility_n &_o not_o with_o any_o confidence_n in_o themselves_o and_o i_o have_v yet_o never_o see_v any_o one_o of_o this_o kind_n who_o have_v
need_n also_o of_o such_o consideration_n as_o these_o and_o there_o be_v time_n when_o almighty_a god_n will_v try_v they_o nay_o it_o will_v seem_v as_o if_o this_o divine_a majesty_n will_v forsake_v they_o for_o as_o i_o have_v say_v already_o and_o i_o will_v fain_o not_o have_v it_o be_v forget_v the_o soul_n in_o this_o life_n which_o we_o live_v increase_v not_o as_o the_o body_n do_v though_o yet_o we_o say_v it_o do_v and_o real_o it_o do_v increase_v but_o yet_o a_o child_n after_o he_o be_v grow_v and_o become_v tall_a and_o prove_v to_o be_v already_o a_o man_n return_v not_o to_o decrease_v again_o and_o to_o have_v a_o little_a body_n yet_o now_o in_o the_o point_n of_o a_o soul_n our_o lord_n will_v have_v it_o be_v otherwise_o by_o what_o i_o have_v see_v of_o myself_o for_o i_o know_v it_o not_o in_o respect_n of_o other_o and_o it_o ought_v to_o humble_v we_o for_o our_o own_o great_a good_a and_o to_o the_o end_n also_o that_o we_o may_v not_o be_v negligent_a as_o 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have_v no_o hand_n therein_o and_o though_o they_o shall_v even_o return_v to_o fall_v again_o there_o will_v yet_o remain_v one_o sign_n that_o our_o lord_n have_v be_v there_o which_o be_v that_o they_o will_v quick_o rise_v again_o beside_o these_o other_o which_o i_o shall_v now_o declare_v when_o it_o be_v the_o spirit_n of_o almighty_a god_n there_o will_v be_v no_o need_n at_o all_o to_o go_v in_o quest_n and_o send_v after_o certain_a reason_n to_o draw_v humility_n and_o confusion_n from_o thence_o for_o our_o bless_a lord_n himself_o be_v wont_a to_o impart_v it_o in_o those_o case_n after_o a_o very_a different_a manner_n from_o that_o which_o ourselves_o can_v procure_v by_o any_o pretty_a little_a consideration_n of_o our_o own_o all_o which_o be_v nothing_o in_o comparison_n of_o a_o certain_a true_a prayer_n humility_n that_o come_v along_o with_o a_o light_n which_o our_o lord_n instruct_v we_o in_o here_o and_o which_o breed_v such_o a_o real_a confusion_n in_o we_o as_o even_o do_v entire_o defeat_v us._n and_o the_o knowledge_n which_o almighty_a god_n be_v wont_a to_o give_v we_o to_o the_o end_n that_o we_o may_v perfect_o understand_v that_o we_o have_v no_o good_a at_o all_o of_o ourselves_o be_v a_o thing_n very_o sufficient_o perceive_v and_o still_o so_o much_o the_o more_o as_o we_o receive_v the_o high_a favour_n from_o his_o hand_n it_o also_o impart_v to_o a_o man_n a_o very_a great_a desire_n to_o proceed_v in_o prayer_n and_o he_o will_v not_o give_v it_o over_o for_o any_o trouble_n which_o may_v possible_o succeed_v to_o he_o he_o offer_v himself_o and_o be_v ready_a to_o endure_v all_o thing_n he_o have_v also_o a_o kind_n of_o assure_a hope_n that_o he_o shall_v be_v save_v though_o yet_o still_o not_o without_o humility_n and_o fear_n by_o this_o time_n he_o also_o instant_o forsake_v all_o kind_n of_o servile_a fear_n of_o his_o soul_n and_o it_o give_v a_o great_a deal_n of_o growth_n to_o a_o filial_a fear_n in_o stead_n thereof_o he_o see_v that_o now_o he_o begin_v to_o bear_v a_o certain_a love_n towards_o almighty_a god_n which_o be_v far_o from_o any_o interest_n of_o his_o own_o &_o he_o covet_v to_o get_v time_n for_o solitude_n that_o so_o he_o may_v have_v the_o better_a opportunity_n to_o enjoy_v that_o good_a in_o fine_a that_o i_o may_v not_o weary_v myself_o too_o much_o this_o be_v a_o direct_a beginning_n of_o all_o good_a thing_n a_o state_n wherein_o the_o flower_n be_v now_o upon_o the_o very_a point_n to_o blossom_n and_o all_o this_o the_o soul_n see_v very_o clear_o and_o can_v by_o no_o mean_n at_o that_o time_n conceive_v but_o that_o god_n be_v and_o will_v be_v with_o she_o till_o such_o time_n as_o she_o shall_v return_v to_o find_v herself_o guilty_a of_o fayling_n and_o imperfection_n towards_o he_o for_o in_o that_o case_n she_o fear_v all_o thing_n and_o it_o be_v fit_a that_o she_o do_v so_o though_o yet_o there_o be_v mind_n soul_n in_o the_o world_n to_o which_o it_o prove_v more_o useful_a to_o believe_v for_o a_o most_o certain_a truth_n that_o they_o be_v well_o with_o almighty_a god_n then_o all_o the_o fear_n of_o the_o world_n be_v able_a to_o give_v they_o for_o if_o the_o soul_n in_o herself_o be_v apt_a to_o be_v enamour_v and_o grateful_a the_o memory_n of_o that_o great_a favour_n which_o god_n do_v she_o will_v be_v of_o more_o power_n to_o make_v her_o return_n to_o his_o divine_a majesty_n than_o all_o the_o torment_n of_o hell_n which_o they_o can_v possible_o be_v ever_o able_a to_o represent_v at_o least_o as_o wicked_a as_o i_o be_o it_o happen_v after_o this_o manner_n to_o i_o now_o as_o for_o the_o sign_n of_o a_o good_a spirit_n i_o will_v speak_v of_o they_o hereafter_o more_o at_o large_a for_o now_o i_o can_v do_v it_o since_o it_o cost_v i_o so_o much_o trouble_v of_o many_o kind_n to_o get_v they_o write_v our_o fair_a and_o i_o believe_v that_o with_o the_o favour_n of_o our_o lord_n i_o may_v be_v able_a to_o hit_v right_a in_o this_o kind_n for_o beside_o the_o experience_n which_o i_o have_v whereby_o i_o come_v to_o understand_v many_o thing_n i_o know_v somewhat_o by_o mean_n of_o some_o learned_a man_n who_o indeed_o be_v very_o learned_a and_o of_o some_o person_n be_v also_o who_o be_v very_o holy_a to_o who_o it_o be_v great_a reason_n to_o give_v beleif_n and_o therefore_o let_v not_o other_o soul_n be_v so_o very_a much_o afflict_v and_o vex_v as_o i_o have_v be_v when_o once_o through_o the_o goodness_n of_o almighty_a god_n they_o shall_v be_v come_v on_o so_o far_o as_o to_o find_v themselves_o in_o this_o state_n the_o sixteen_o chapter_n she_o treat_v of_o the_o three_o degree_n of_o prayer_n and_o go_v declare_v some_o very_a high_a point_n and_o what_o a_o soul_n which_o arrive_v thus_o far_o may_v be_v able_a to_o do_v and_o what_o effect_n these_o so_o great_a favour_n of_o our_o lord_n be_v accustom_v to_o work_n the_o sense_n hereof_o be_v very_o fit_a to_o raise_v the_o spirit_n high_a in_o the_o praise_n of_o almighty_a god_n and_o it_o be_v also_o of_o great_a consolation_n for_o the_o soul_n which_o arrive_v to_o this_o state_n let_v we_o now_o come_v to_o speak_v of_o the_o three_o water_n wherewith_o this_o garden_n be_v water_v for_o this_o be_v a_o run_a water_n of_o a_o river_n or_o spring_n and_o it_o water_v it_o with_o much_o less_o labour_n though_o yet_o the_o distribution_n thereof_o cause_v some_o our_o lord_n will_v here_o so_o help_v the_o gardener_n that_o in_o some_o sort_n he_o will_v be_v as_o it_o be_v the_o gardener_n himself_o and_o in_o effect_n the_o doer_n of_o all_o this_o be_v
and_o so_o make_v those_o wretch_n tremble_v for_o already_o we_o know_v well_o enough_o that_o the_o devil_n be_v not_o able_a to_o stir_v unless_o our_o lord_n permit_v he_o what_o then_o may_v be_v the_o ground_n of_o all_o these_o disorder_n it_o be_v certain_o that_o i_o be_o more_o afraid_a of_o they_o who_o be_v so_o fright_v by_o the_o devil_n then_o of_o the_o devil_n himself_o for_o he_o be_v utter_o unable_a to_o do_v i_o hurt_v whereas_o these_o other_o especial_o if_o they_o be_v ghostly_a father_n may_v put_v soul_n to_o much_o disquiet_n and_o for_o my_o part_n i_o have_v pass_v some_o year_n through_o so_o great_a trouble_n that_o now_o i_o be_o even_o amaze_v to_o consider_v how_o i_o have_v be_v able_a to_o endure_v it_o but_o bless_v be_v our_o lord_n who_o have_v assist_v i_o in_o so_o good_a earnest_n amen_n the_o six_o and_o twenty_o chapter_n she_o prosecute_v the_o same_o discourse_n and_o go_v relate_v and_o declare_v such_o thing_n as_o happen_v to_o she_o which_o make_v her_o loose_a fear_n and_o to_o be_v strengthen_v in_o a_o beleif_n that_o it_o be_v a_o good_a spirit_n which_o speak_v to_o she_o i_o esteem_v the_o courage_n which_o our_o lord_n have_v vouchsafe_v to_o give_v i_o against_o all_o the_o devil_n of_o hell_n to_o be_v one_o of_o the_o great_a favour_n which_o it_o have_v please_v his_o divine_a majesty_n to_o do_v i_o since_o for_o a_o soul_n to_o go_v cowardly_o on_o and_o to_o be_v fearful_a indeed_o of_o any_o thing_n but_o only_o to_o offend_v the_o majesty_n of_o almighty_a god_n be_v a_o extreme_a inconvenience_n for_o since_o we_o have_v a_o king_n who_o be_v omnipotent_a and_o so_o great_a a_o lord_n that_o he_o can_v do_v what_o he_o list_n and_o who_o bring_v all_o thing_n into_o subjection_n under_o himself_o there_o be_v no_o fear_n at_o all_o to_o be_v have_v and_o therefore_o as_o i_o be_v say_v we_o have_v no_o cause_n to_o doubt_v so_o that_o we_o walk_v sincere_o and_o with_o purity_n of_o conscience_n in_o the_o presence_n of_o his_o divine_a majesty_n and_o in_o order_n to_o this_o end_n i_o shall_v be_v glad_a to_o have_v all_o the_o fear_n in_o the_o world_n to_o offend_v he_o in_o any_o one_o instant_n of_o my_o whole_a life_n who_o be_v able_a in_o the_o very_a selfsame_a instant_n to_o destroy_v and_o annihilate_v we_o all_o as_o long_o as_o his_o divine_a majesty_n be_v please_v with_o we_o there_o be_v no_o creature_n who_o can_v stand_v against_o we_o without_o have_v his_o head_n break_v for_o his_o pain_n you_o will_v peradventure_o say_v that_o this_o be_v very_o true_a but_o yet_o now_o on_o the_o other_o side_n where_o shall_v we_o find_v that_o soul_n which_o stand_v so_o straight_o as_o that_o she_o may_v be_v whole_o please_v to_o he_o and_o because_o she_o be_v not_o so_o she_o be_v in_o fear_n i_o answer_v that_o i_o be_o sure_a that_o that_o pure_a and_o innocent_a soul_n be_v none_o of_o i_o which_o indeed_o be_v very_o wretched_a and_o unprofitable_a and_o surcharge_v even_o with_o a_o thousand_o misery_n but_o yet_o still_o we_o have_v this_o comfort_n that_o almighty_a god_n do_v not_o proceed_v with_o such_o rigour_n as_o man_n do_v for_o he_o know_v and_o consider_v our_o frailty_n and_o the_o soul_n have_v way_n of_o understanding_n and_o find_v in_o itself_o by_o great_a conjecture_n whether_o real_o she_o love_v his_o divine_a majesty_n or_o no_o for_o in_o such_o as_o arrive_v once_o to_o this_o state_n our_o love_n to_o he_o be_v not_o now_o a_o kind_n of_o dissemble_a or_o disguise_v love_n as_o it_o use_v sometime_o to_o be_v in_o the_o beginning_n but_o it_o be_v accompany_v with_o so_o great_a impulse_n and_o even_o impetuosity_n of_o desire_n to_o see_v almighty_a god_n as_o i_o shall_v afterward_o declare_v or_o rather_o as_o i_o have_v declare_v already_o and_o all_o thing_n be_v wont_a to_o afflict_v all_o thing_n to_o weary_a &_o tire_v and_o all_o thing_n do_v even_o torment_v she_o unless_o it_o be_v only_a god_n or_o for_o god_n there_o be_v not_o so_o much_o as_o any_o repose_n which_o do_v not_o displease_v she_o because_o she_o find_v herself_o absent_a from_o her_o true_a repose_n and_o so_o it_o falls-out_a to_o be_v very_o evident_a that_o thing_n pass_v not_o here_o in_o a_o dissemble_a way_n it_o have_v happen_v to_o i_o in_o former_a time_n that_o i_o find_v myself_o in_o great_a tribulation_n and_o i_o be_v subject_a to_o many_o detraction_n by_o occasion_n of_o a_o certain_a business_n whereof_o i_o may_v have_v cause_n to_o speak_v afterward_o from_o all_o that_o house_n where_o i_o live_v yea_o and_o from_o my_o order_n and_o i_o be_v afflict_v upon_o many_o accident_n which_o occur_v then_o at_o which_o time_n it_o please_v our_o lord_n to_o utter_v these_o express_a word_n to_o i_o of_o what_o be_v thou_o afraid_a do_v thou_o not_o know_v that_o i_o be_o omnipotent_a i_o will_v accomplish_v all_o that_o which_o i_o have_v promise_v thou_o and_o indeed_o he_o accomplish_v it_o 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the_o memory_n of_o the_o sin_n of_o my_o former_a life_n and_o this_o he_o most_o ordinary_o use_v to_o do_v whensoever_o he_o intend_v to_o vouchsafe_v i_o any_o extraordinary_a favour_n and_o he_o do_v it_o in_o such_o sort_n that_o the_o soul_n discern_v herself_o as_o if_o she_o be_v real_o plant_v at_o the_o very_a day_n of_o the_o last_o universal_a judgement_n and_o the_o truth_n be_v represent_v to_o she_o with_o such_o a_o kind_n of_o perspicuity_n and_o claritie_n that_o she_o know_v not_o what_o to_o do_v with_o herself_o at_o other_o time_n he_o be_v please_v to_o inform_v i_o of_o certain_a danger_n concern_v both_o myself_o and_o other_o about_o thing_n which_o do_v not_o happen_v till_o three_o or_o four_o year_n after_o but_o they_o all_o be_v ever_o fulfil_v and_o some_o of_o they_o may_v also_o be_v name_v if_o there_o be_v cause_n so_o that_o there_o be_v so_o many_o particular_n whereby_o it_o may_v be_v understand_v that_o these_o thing_n be_v of_o almighty_a 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