Ladies not there Ia. I haue a vaunt-Curriing deuise shall make them digest it most healthfully Exeunt SCAeNA QVARTA Enter Clarence Musicians Cla. VVorke on sweet loue I am not yet resolud T' exhaust this troubled spring of vanities And nurse of perturbations my poore life And therefore since in euery man that holds This being deare there must be some desire VVhose power to' enioy his obiect may so maske The Iudging part that in her radyant eyes His estimation of the world may seeme Vpright and worthy I haue chosen loue To blind my Reason with his mistie handes And make my estimatiue power beleiue I haue a proiect worthy to imploy VVhat worth so euer my whole man affordes Then sit at rest my Soule thou now hast found The ende of thy infusion in the eyes Of thy diuine Eugenia looke for heauen Cla. Thanks gentle friends is your good Lord and mine gon vp to bedd yet A song to the Uiolls Enter Momford Mom. I do assure ye not Sir not yet nor yet my deep and studious friend not yet musicall Clarence Cla. My Lord Mom Nor yet thou sole deuider of my Lordshippe Cla. That were a most vnfit diuision And farre aboue the pitche of my lowe plumes I am your bold and constant guest my Lord Mom. Far far from bold for thou hast known me long Almost theis twentie yeares and halfe those yeares Hast bin my bedfellow long time before This vnseene thing this thing of nought indeed Or Atome cald my Lordshippe shinde in me And yet thou makst thy selfe as little bould To take such kindnes as becomes the Age And truth of our indissolable loue As our acquaintance sprong but yesterday Such is thy gentle and too tender Spirit Cla. My Lord my want of Courtship makes me feare I should be rude and this my meane estate Meetes with such enuie and detraction Such misconstructions and resolud misdoomes Of my poore worth that should I be aduaunc'd Beyond my vnseene lowenes but one haire I should be torne in peeces with the Spirits That flye in ill-lungd tempests through the world Tearing the head of vertue from her shoulders If she but looke out of the ground of glorie Twixt whome and me and euery worldlie fortune There fights such sowre and Curst Antipathy So waspishe and so petulant a Starre That all things tending to my grace or good Are rauisht from their obiect as I were A thing created for a wildernes And must not thinke of any place with men Mom. O harke you Sir this waiwarde moode of yours must syfted be or rather rooted out you le no more musick Sir Cla. Not now my Lord Mom. Begon my masters then to bedd to bedd Cla. I thanke you honest friends Exeunt Musicians Mo. Hence with this book now Mounsieur Clarence methinks plaine prose friendship would do excellent well betwixt vs come thus Sir or rather thus come Sir t is time I trowe that we both liu'd like one bodie thus and that both our sides were slit and Concorporat with Organs fit to effect an indiuiduall passage euen for out very thoughts suppose wee were one bodie now and I charge you beleeue it where of I am the hart and you the liuer Cla. Your Lordship might well make that diuision if you knew the plaine song Mom. O Sir and why so I pray Cla. First because the heart is the more worthy entraile being the first that is borne and moues and the last that moues and dies and then being the fountaine of heate too for wheresoeuer our heate does not flowe directly from the hart to the other Organs there their action must of necessitie cease and so without you I nether would nor could liue Mom. VVel Sir for these reasons I may be the heart why may you be the liuer now Cla. I am more then ashamde to tell you that my Lord Mom. Nay nay be not too suspitious of my iudgemēt in you I beseech you asham'd friend if your loue ouercome not that shame a shame take that loue I saie Come sir why may you be the liuer Cla. The plaine and short truth is my Lord because I am all liuer and tournd louer Mom. Louer Cla Louer y faith my Lord Mom. Now I prethee let me leape out of my skin for ioy why thou wilt not now reviue the sociable mirth of thy sweete disposition wilt thou shine in the world a new and make those that haue sleighted thy loue with the Austeritie of thy knowledge doate on the againe with thy commaunding shaft of their humors Cla. A las my Lord they are all farre out of my aimes and onely to fit my selfe a little better to your friendshippe haue I giuen these wilfull raygnes to my affections Mom. And y faith is my sower friend to all worldlie desires ouertaken with the hart of the world Loue I shall be monstrous proud now to heare shee s euerie way a most rare woman that I know thy spirit iudgement hath chosen is she wise is she noble is she capable of thy vertues will she kisse this forehead with iudiciall lipps where somuch iudgement vertue deserues it Come brother Twinn be short I charge you name me the woman Cla. Since your Lordship will shorten the length of my follies relation the woman that I so passionatelie loue is no worse Ladie then your owne Neece the too worthie Countesse Eugenia Mom. VVhy so so so you are a worthie friend are you not to conceale this loue-mine in your head and would not open it to your hart now beshrow my hart if my hart dance not for ioy tho my heeles do not they doe not because I will not set that at my heeles that my friends set at his heart what friende and Nephew both nephew is a far inferior title to friend I confesse but I wil preferre the backwards as many friends doe leaue their friends woorse then they found them Cla. But my noble Lo. it is almost a prodegie that I being onely a poore Gentleman and farre short of that state and wealth that a Ladie of her greatnesses in both will expect in her husband Mom. Hold thy doubt friend neuer feare any woman vnlesse thy selfe be made of strawe or some such drie matter and she of lightning Audacitie prospers aboue probabilitie in all worldlie matters dost not thou knowe that Fortune gouernes them without order and therefore reason the mother of order is none of her counsaile why should a man desiring to aspire an vnreasonable creature which is a woman seeke her fruition by reasonable meanes because thy selfe bindes vppon reason wilt thou looke for congruitie in a woman why there is not one woman amongst one thousand but will speake false Latine and breake Priscians head attempt nothing that you may with great reason doubt of and out of doubt you shall obtaine nothing I tell thee friend the enminent confidence of strong spirits is the onely wich-craft of this world Spirits wrastling with spirits
Cutt if I ridd not after him till my horse sweat so that he had nere a drie thread on him hollod hollod to him to stay him till I had thought my fingers ends wood haue gon off with hollowings I le be sworn to ye yet he ran his way like a Diogenes and would neuer stay for vs Rud. How shall wee doe to get the lame Captaine to London now his horse is gone Goos. Why hee is but a lame Iade neither Sir Meyle we shal soone our'take him I warrant ye Rud. And yet thou saist thou gallopst after him as fast as thou coodst and coodst not Catch him I lay my life some Crabfishe has bitten thee by the tongue thou speakest so backward still Goos. But here 's all the doubt Sir Cutt if nobodie shoold catch him now when hee comes at London some boy or other wood get vppe on him and ride him hotte into the water to washe him I le bee sworne I followed one that ridd my horse into the Thames till I was vppe tooth knees hetherto and if it had not beene for feare of going ouer shooes because I am troubled with the rheume I wood haue taught him to washe my horse when hee was Enter Foul hott yfath how now sweet Captaine dost feele any ease in thy payne yet Rud. Ease in his paine quoth you has good lucke if he feele ease in paine I thinke but wood any asse in the world ride downe such a hill as Highgate is in such a frost as this and neuer light Foul. Gods pretious Sir Cutt your Frenchman neuer lights I tell ye Goos. Light Sir Cutt Slight and I had my horse again there 's nere a paltrie English frost an them all shood make me light Rud. Goe too you French Zanies you you wil follow the french steps so long till you be notable to set one Sound Steppe o th ground all the daies of your life Goos. Why Sir Cut I care not if I be not sound so I be well but we were iustly plaugde by this hill for following women thus Foul. I and English weomen too sir Giles Rud. Thou art still prating against English women I haue seene none of the French dames I confesse but your greatest gallants for men in Fraunce were here lately I am sure and methinkes there should be no more difference betwixt our Ladies and theirs then there is betwixt our Lordes and theirs and our Lords are as farr beyond them yfaith for person and Courtshippe as they are beyond ours for phantasticallitie Foul. O Lord sir Cut I am sure our Ladies hold our Lords tack for Courtshippe and yet the french Lords put them downe you noted it sir Gyles Goos. O God sir I stud and heard it as I sat i th presence Rud. How did they put them downe I pray thee Foul. Why for wit and for Court-shippe Sir Moile Foul. As how good lefthandded Francois Fou VVhy Sir when Meunsieur Lambois came to your mistris the Ladie Hippolita as she sate in the presence sitt downe here good Sir Gyles Goosecappe hee kneeld me by her thus Sir and with a most queint French Arte in his speech of ah bellissime I desire to die now fares hee for in his speech of ah bellissime I desire to die now saies he for your loue that I might be buried here Rud. A good pick-thacht complement by my faith but I prethee what answer'd she Foul. She I scorne to note that I hope then did he vie it againe with an other hah Rud. That was hah hah I wood haue put the third hah to it if I had been as my mistris and hah, hah, hah'ed him out of the presence yfaith Foul. Hah saies he theis faire eyes I wood not for a million they were in Fraunce they wood renewe all our ciuill-wars againe Goose. That was not so good me thinkes captaine Rud. Welliudgd yfaith there was a little wit in that I must cōfesse but she put him down far aūswered him with a questiō that was whether he wood seem a louer or a iesster if a louer a must tel her far more lykelier then those or else she was far frō belieuing thē if a Iester she cood haue much more ridiculous iests then his of twenty fooles that followed the court and told him she had as lieue be courted with a brush faggot as with a frēchman that spēt it selfe al in sparks would sooner fire ones chimney then warme the house and that such sparkes were good enough yet to set thatcht dispositiōs a fire but hers was tild with sleight and respected thē as sleightly Goos. VVhy so Captaine and yet you talke of your great frenchmen to God little England had neuer knowne them I may say Foul. VVhat 's the matter sir Giles are you out of loue with frenchmen now of a sodaine Goos. Slydd captaine VVood not make one I le be sworne I le be sworne they tooke away a mastie dogge of mine by commission now I thinke on 't makes my teares stand in my eyes with greefe I had rather lost the dearest friend that euer I lay withal in my life be this light neuer stir if if hee fought not with great Sekerson foure hours to one foremoste take vp hindmoste and tooke so many loaues from him that hee sterud him presently So at last the dogg cood doe no more then a Beare cood doe and the beare being heauie with hunger you know fell vppon the dogge broke his backe and the dogge neuer stird more Rud. VVhy thou saist the frenchmen tooke him away Goos. Frenchmen I so they did too but yet and hee had not bin kild t wood nere a greeud me Foul. O excellent vnitie of speach Enter Will and Iacke at seuerall doores Will Saue ye knights Ia. Saue you Captaine Faul. Pages welcome my fine pages Rud. Welcome boyes Goos. VVelcome sweet Will good Iacke Foul. But how chaunce you are so farre from London now pages is it not almost dinner time Will Yes indeed Sir but we left our fellowes to wait for once and cood not chuse in pure loue to your worships but we must needs come and meet you before you mett our Ladies to tell you a secret Omnes A secrett what secret I pray thee Ia. If euer your worships say any thing we are vndone for euer Omnes Not for a world beleue it Will VVhy then this it is wee ouerheard our Ladies as they were talking in priuate say they refusde to meet you at Barnet this morning of purpose because they wood try which of you were most patient Ia. And some said you Sir Gyles another you Sir and the third you Captaine Om. This was excellent Will Then did they sweare one another not to excuse themselues to you by any meanes that they might trie you the better now if they shal see you say nothing in the worlde to them what may come of it when Ladies begin to trie their suters once I hope your wisedomes can iudge a little Foul.