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he_o take_v all_o for_o as_o much_o as_o i_o have_v see_v the_o face_n of_o my_o lord_n the_o king_n so_o say_v a_o true_a believer_n let_v worldly_a man_n take_v all_o so_o i_o may_v see_v the_o face_n of_o my_o lord_n the_o king_n of_o saint_n when_o a_o believer_n can_v draw_v out_o the_o quintessence_n of_o all_o creature_n comfort_n and_o say_v the_o sweetness_n of_o all_o be_v in_o christ_n o_o how_o sweet_a be_v he_o then_o to_o that_o soul_n again_o this_o true_a faith_n will_v make_v a_o man_n love_n christ_n against_o all_o difficulty_n and_o temptation_n and_o discouragement_n he_o can_v meet_v with_o in_o heaven_n way_n what_o though_o i_o suffer_v reproach_n for_o christ_n say_v the_o believer_n yet_o i_o can_v love_v he_o still_o nay_o though_o i_o suffer_v the_o loss_n of_o all_o my_o estate_n for_o christ_n yet_o i_o can_v love_v he_o still_o nay_o though_o i_o suffer_v the_o loss_n of_o my_o life_n for_o christ_n yet_o i_o will_v love_v he_o still_o act_n 21._o 13._o i_o be_o ready_a not_o only_o to_o be_v bind_v but_o to_o die_v for_o the_o name_n of_o christ_n this_o i_o confess_v be_v a_o high_a act_n of_o faith_n but_o no_o high_a than_o many_o martyr_n have_v attain_v to_o they_o feel_v such_o a_o strong_a and_o unquenchable_a love_n in_o jesus_n christ_n to_o their_o soul_n therefore_o their_o love_n be_v so_o draw_v out_o to_o christ_n again_o which_o make_v they_o ready_a to_o suffer_v and_o lay_v down_o their_o life_n for_o he_o again_o true_a faith_n will_v make_v a_o man_n love_n christ_n without_o outward_a encouragement_n a_o believer_n can_v say_v what_o though_o i_o want_v these_o outward_a accommodation_n other_o have_v though_o i_o be_v as_o poor_a as_o job_n on_o the_o dunghill_n yet_o a_o naked_a christ_n be_v to_o i_o more_o welcome_a than_o a_o beautify_a world_n that_o be_v deck_v with_o all_o the_o plenty_n and_o prosperity_n that_o can_v be_v imagine_v as_o the_o strong_a believer_n he_o that_o have_v assurance_n of_o christ_n love_n may_v love_v christ_n more_o strong_o yet_o it_o be_v as_o true_a he_o that_o be_v the_o weak_a believer_n though_o he_o know_v not_o whether_o he_o be_v belove_v of_o christ_n he_o love_v christ_n as_o true_o as_o the_o other_o 4._o another_o fruit_n of_o faith_n be_v a_o fear_n of_o offend_v he_o true_a faith_n will_v not_o have_v christ_n displease_v it_o be_v true_a faith_n cast_v out_o a_o slavish_a fear_n but_o a_o fear_n of_o reverence_n and_o watchfulness_n be_v the_o fruit_n of_o true_a saving_n faith_n 5._o true_a faith_n will_v work_v holiness_n and_o new_a obedience_n hence_o faith_n be_v call_v a_o most_o holy_a faith_n because_o it_o make_v we_o holy_a we_o be_v sanctify_v
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love_n and_o humility_n upon_o i_o be_o never_o dress_v till_o they_o be_v on_o o_o where_o be_v they_o i_o see_v they_o by_o i_o but_o just_a now_o i_o lay_v they_o by_o my_o heart_n before_o i_o go_v to_o bed_n but_o ah_o i_o fear_v this_o envious_a world_n have_v with_o her_o vanity_n steal_v they_o away_o or_o the_o envious_a devil_n or_o unbelief_n have_v be_v ravel_v or_o snarl_v of_o they_o that_o now_o i_o be_o as_o far_o to_o seek_v as_o ever_o whither_o o_o whither_o shall_v i_o go_v to_o find_v they_o out_o now_o will_v the_o bridegroom_n come_v and_o i_o be_o not_o ready_a i_o can_v dare_v not_o go_v to_o day_n now_o will_v my_o lord_n be_v angry_a and_o ask_v i_o why_o i_o come_v not_o and_o i_o have_v no_o answer_n to_o make_v he_o and_o if_o i_o go_v undress_v he_o will_v ask_v i_o where_o be_v my_o wedding-garment_n and_o than_o i_o shall_v be_v speechless_a ah_o foolish_a simple_a heart_n that_o thou_o shall_v let_v these_o thought_n of_o earth_n so_o entangle_v 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the_o world_n compare_v with_o he_o that_o give_v himself_o to_o death_n for_o thou_o and_o have_v rather_o anger_v all_o the_o world_n than_o he_o by_o sin_v against_o he_o in_o the_o least_o if_o this_o he_o true_a fear_v not_o thou_o have_v thy_o wedding-garment_n on_o thou_o be_v well_o clad_v as_o mean_v soever_o as_o it_o be_v it_o be_v such_o a_o one_o as_o heaven_n give_v thou_o and_o such_o a_o one_o as_o thy_o dear_a redeemer_n can_v and_o will_v embrace_v thou_o in_o the_o presence-chamber_n fear_v not_o o_o my_o soul_n i_o charge_v thou_o do_v not_o faint_a let_v not_o thy_o weakness_n and_o the_o poverty_n of_o thy_o grace_n discourage_v thou_o see_v how_o thy_o lord_n draw_v nigh_o o_o he_o come_v and_o it_o be_v but_o to_o welcome_v thou_o and_o fall_v about_o thy_o neck_n and_o kiss_v thou_o and_o bid_v thou_o a_o kind_n welcome_o to_o thy_o bleed_a lord_n the_o bread_n welcome_o fair_a take_v and_o eat_v it_o be_v the_o sweet_a dainty_n dear_a morsel_n heaven_n can_v 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thou_o take_v it_o i_o charge_v thou_o eat_v it_o as_o thou_o love_v i_o and_o while_o thou_o feed_v remember_v the_o love_n of_o thy_o dear_a redeemer_n the_o wine_n come_v my_o dear_a i_o have_v drink_v and_o thou_o shall_v pledge_v i_o i_o have_v broach_v my_o side_n and_o draw_v it_o on_o purpose_n for_o thou_o this_o be_v a_o wine_n of_o my_o own_o make_n when_o i_o tread_v the_o winepress_n of_o my_o father_n wrath_n it_o be_v my_o blood_n take_v and_o drink_v it_o sin_n be_v the_o cause_n of_o my_o wound_n but_o to_o thy_o soul_n it_o shall_v prove_v heal_v i_o die_v and_o bleed_v to_o make_v this_o banquet_n for_o thou_o i_o have_v bring_v thou_o into_o my_o wine-cellar_n and_o my_o banner_n over_o thou_o shall_v be_v love_n fear_v not_o take_v and_o drink_v thou_o have_v a_o ulcer_n in_o thy_o heart_n and_o this_o shall_v cure_v it_o thy_o spirit_n be_v faint_a this_o shall_v revive_v thou_o drink_v i_o charge_v thou_o drink_v on_o thy_o love_n and_o loyalty_n to_o i_o i_o command_v thou_o as_o thou_o will_v have_v thy_o heart_n to_o mend_v thy_o wound_n to_o be_v cure_v thy_o spirit_n to_o revive_v thy_o fear_n to_o scatter_v thy_o soul_n to_o love_n and_o obey_v i_o take_v o_o take_v this_o cup_n into_o thy_o hand_n taste_v it_o and_o praise_v my_o name_n memorable_a say_n and_o passage_n collect_v and_o transcribe_v for_o his_o own_o use_n these_o be_v some_o among_o other_o what_o we_o be_v afraid_a to_o do_v before_o man_n we_o shall_v be_v afraid_a to_o think_v before_o god_n because_o our_o secret_a thought_n be_v as_o obvious_a to_o the_o eye_n of_o god_n as_o our_o action_n to_o the_o eye_n of_o men._n god_n show_v more_o mercy_n in_o save_v some_o when_o he_o may_v have_v condemn_v all_o than_o he_o do_v justice_n in_o leave_v some_o to_o perish_v when_o he_o may_v have_v save_v none_o great_a virtue_n without_o sincerity_n of_o heart_n be_v reject_v when_o great_a infirmity_n without_o hypocrisy_n be_v pardon_v a_o good_a intention_n can_v 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the_o gate_n of_o heaven_n mourning_n to_o the_o heavenly_a glory_n than_o laugh_v to_o the_o place_n of_o torment_n one_o may_v suffer_v and_o not_o sin_n but_o if_o he_o sin_v he_o shall_v be_v sure_a to_o suffer_v herod_n may_v have_v keep_v his_o oath_n and_o not_o have_v cut_v off_o the_o baptist_n head_n he_o only_o promise_v to_o grant_v what_o she_o ask_v to_o the_o half_a of_o his_o kingdom_n whereas_o the_o prophet_n head_n be_v more_o worth_a than_o the_o whole_a such_o be_v the_o infinite_a extent_n and_o value_n of_o our_o saviour_n merit_n that_o
abound_a of_o all_o sin_n and_o wickedness_n more_o and_o more_o the_o lord_n enable_v i_o to_o do_v and_o suffer_v his_o will_n and_o let_v i_o have_v his_o presence_n and_o his_o promise_n make_v good_a not_o to_o suffer_v i_o to_o be_v tempt_v above_o what_o he_o will_v enable_v i_o to_o bear_v 1_o cor._n 10._o 13._o and_o that_o i_o may_v ready_o let_v all_o go_v for_o christ_n if_o i_o be_o call_v to_o it_o the_o lord_n grant_v i_o may_v be_v make_v meet_a to_o be_v partaker_n of_o the_o inheritance_n of_o the_o saint_n in_o light_n and_o get_v my_o evidence_n for_o heaven_n ready_a which_o through_o the_o assistance_n and_o help_n of_o god_n i_o desire_v to_o go_v about_o the_o lord_n grant_v i_o may_v not_o be_v deceive_v but_o may_v gather_v such_o evidence_n as_o will_v hold_v out_o and_o bear_v i_o up_o in_o the_o midst_n of_o trouble_n and_o trial_n yea_o in_o the_o hour_n of_o death_n and_o the_o day_n of_o judgement_n the_o lord_n in_o infinite_a mercy_n sanctify_v to_o i_o the_o death_n of_o other_o god_n have_v of_o late_o take_v away_o many_o of_o my_o neighbour_n acquaintance_n friend_n and_o relation_n minister_n as_o well_o as_o other_o a_o little_a while_n since_o mr._n pledger_n and_o mr._n wells_n in_o one_o day_n o_o that_o all_o may_v be_v sanctify_v and_o especial_o the_o death_n of_o my_o wife_n that_o i_o may_v yet_o make_v such_o use_n of_o that_o providence_n as_o the_o lord_n will_v expect_v and_o be_v ready_a and_o prepare_v for_o my_o own_o departure_n hence_o whensoever_o it_o shall_v please_v my_o dear_a god_n and_o father_n to_o call_v i_o home_o be_v now_o about_o to_o enter_v here_o what_o i_o have_v to_o show_v for_o a_o work_n of_o grace_n in_o my_o heart_n and_o a_o right_n and_o title_n to_o heaven_n i_o desire_v of_o the_o lord_n to_o help_v i_o in_o this_o great_a affair_n that_o i_o may_v not_o be_v deceive_v but_o that_o what_o i_o here_o enter_v may_v be_v the_o true_a state_n of_o my_o soul_n and_o that_o which_o will_v hold_v out_o and_o yield_v i_o comfort_n in_o a_o hour_n of_o distress_n it_o have_v be_v in_o my_o thought_n several_a time_n to_o inquire_v what_o i_o have_v to_o show_v for_o my_o hope_n of_o heaven_n that_o which_o run_v most_o in_o my_o mind_n be_v faith_n and_o repentance_n which_o upon_o diligent_a search_n of_o my_o heart_n i_o hope_v i_o have_v first_o for_o faith_n if_o i_o have_v true_a faith_n i_o shall_v certain_o be_v save_v so_o say_v the_o holy_a scripture_n he_o that_o believe_v shall_v be_v save_v joh._n 3._o 16._o for_o god_n so_o love_v the_o world_n that_o he_o give_v his_o only_a beget_v son_n that_o whosoeever_n believe_v in_o he_o shall_v not_o perish_v but_o have_v everlasting_a life_n now_o faith_n in_o christ_n be_v describe_v in_o the_o assembly_n catechism_n to_o be_v a_o save_a grace_n whereby_o we_o receive_v and_o rest_n upon_o christ_n alone_o for_o salvation_n as_o he_o be_v offer_v to_o we_o in_o the_o gospel_n which_o i_o hope_v i_o desire_v to_o do_v i_o hope_v i_o do_v most_o hearty_o desire_v to_o take_v christ_n on_o his_o own_o term_n as_o king_n priest_n and_o prophet_n in_o all_o his_o office_n and_o be_o willing_a to_o be_v rule_v by_o he_o as_o well_o as_o save_v by_o he_o i_o hope_v i_o desire_v to_o rest_v upon_o jesus_n christ_n alone_o for_o salvation_n and_o own_o no_o other_o saviour_n but_o he_o i_o hope_v i_o have_v the_o faith_n of_o reliance_n to_o rest_v and_o centre_n in_o christ_n i_o hope_v i_o can_v with_o all_o my_o soul_n throw_v myself_o upon_o the_o mercy_n of_o god_n in_o christ_n and_o if_o i_o perish_v to_o perish_v there_o trust_v in_o he_o that_o i_o shall_v not_o perish_v bless_a be_v god_n i_o be_o often_o lift_v up_o my_o heart_n to_o christ_n o_o my_o dear_a jesus_n bless_a jesus_n on_o thou_o on_o thou_o alone_o i_o rest_v when_o i_o be_o in_o fear_n and_o doubt_n and_o trouble_n i_o hope_v i_o desire_v to_o say_v with_o the_o church_n in_o the_o lord_n have_v i_o righteousness_n and_o strength_n righteousness_n for_o justification_n and_o strength_n for_o sanctification_n and_o the_o subdue_a of_o sin_n i_o hope_v i_o desire_v to_o renounce_v any_o trust_n in_o my_o own_o righteousness_n and_o duty_n and_o whole_o to_o rely_v and_o rest_v upon_o jesus_n christ_n when_o i_o have_v perform_v any_o duty_n i_o desire_v to_o own_o that_o i_o deserve_v hell_n for_o the_o sinful_a imperfection_n of_o it_o yea_o for_o the_o best_a duty_n i_o can_v perform_v and_o to_o have_v my_o trust_n only_o in_o the_o death_n and_o merit_n satisfaction_n and_o intercession_n of_o christ_n though_o spiritual_a pride_n be_v very_o apt_a to_o rise_v in_o i_o yet_o i_o hope_v i_o do_v not_o allow_v it_o the_o lord_n set_v my_o heart_n more_o against_o it_o i_o hope_v i_o desire_v with_o the_o apostle_n phil._n 3._o 9_o to_o be_v find_v in_o he_o not_o have_v my_o own_o righteousness_n which_o be_v of_o the_o law_n but_o that_o which_o be_v through_o the_o faith_n of_o christ_n the_o righteousness_n which_o be_v of_o god_n by_o faith_n i_o hope_v christ_n be_v precious_a to_o i_o now_o that_o be_v a_o evidence_n of_o faith_n 1_o pet._n 2._o 7._o to_o you_o that_o believe_v he_o be_v precious_a i_o hope_v i_o desire_v to_o prize_n christ_n above_o all_o the_o world_n and_o if_o i_o know_v my_o heart_n i_o will_v not_o part_v with_o the_o hope_n i_o have_v by_o christ_n of_o heaven_n for_o ten_o thousand_o world_n i_o hope_v i_o desire_v to_o prize_n jesus_n christ_n as_o the_o chief_a of_o ten_o thousand_o altogether_o lovely_a the_o lord_n make_v i_o upright_o in_o this_o matter_n that_o i_o may_v see_v the_o worth_n and_o excellency_n that_o be_v in_o he_o so_o as_o to_o be_v in_o love_n with_o he_o second_o for_o repentance_n if_o i_o have_v that_o grace_n i_o be_o sure_a to_o be_v save_v act_v 3._o 19_o repent_v you_o therefore_o and_o be_v convert_v that_o your_o sin_n may_v be_v blot_v out_o when_o the_o time_n of_o refresh_a shall_v come_v from_o the_o presence_n of_o the_o lord_n luke_n 13._o 3._o except_o you_o repent_v you_o shall_v all_o likewise_o perish_v therefore_o if_o we_o do_v repent_v we_o shall_v not_o perish_v now_o repentance_n be_v describe_v to_o be_v a_o save_a grace_n whereby_o a_o sinner_n out_o of_o the_o true_a sense_n of_o his_o sin_n and_o apprehension_n of_o the_o mercy_n of_o god_n in_o christ_n do_v with_o grief_n and_o hatred_n of_o his_o sin_n turn_v from_o it_o unto_o god_n with_o full_a purpose_n of_o and_o endeavour_n after_o new_a obedience_n i_o hope_v the_o lord_n have_v wrought_v this_o repentance_n in_o i_o i_o hope_v he_o have_v give_v i_o a_o true_a sight_n and_o sense_n of_o sin_n and_o that_o i_o be_o convince_v of_o the_o evil_a and_o danger_n of_o it_o i_o hope_v i_o have_v a_o apprehension_n also_o of_o the_o mercy_n of_o god_n in_o christ_n i_o do_v not_o at_o all_o doubt_n but_o there_o be_v mercy_n enough_o in_o god_n through_o christ_n to_o forgive_v and_o pardon_v the_o great_a sin_n if_o they_o be_v repent_v of_o the_o lord_n have_v declare_v himself_o to_o be_v the_o lord_n god_n gracious_a and_o merciful_a pardon_v iniquity_n transgression_n and_o sin_n exod_n 34._o 6._o i_o hope_v i_o desire_v to_o be_v true_o sorry_a for_o all_o my_o sin_n to_o grieve_v and_o mourn_v for_o they_o though_o my_o heart_n be_v hard_a yet_o i_o hope_v i_o can_v be_v glad_a if_o it_o be_v break_v that_o i_o can_v mourn_v more_o for_o my_o sin_n sure_o it_o have_v be_v a_o trouble_n to_o i_o many_o time_n in_o confession_n of_o sin_n that_o i_o can_v not_o mourn_v and_o weep_v and_o be_v not_o affect_v as_o i_o desire_v i_o hope_v i_o desire_v to_o hate_v sin_n also_o the_o lord_n work_v a_o true_a hatred_n of_o all_o sin_n more_o and_o more_o in_o i_o i_o hope_v i_o desire_v to_o turn_v from_o all_o sin_n unto_o god_n with_o full_a purpose_n of_o heart_n to_o cleave_v to_o he_o i_o hope_v the_o bend_v of_o my_o soul_n be_v right_a for_o god_n though_o i_o have_v many_o fail_n and_o miscarriage_n i_o hope_v the_o full_a purpose_n and_o resolution_n of_o my_o heart_n be_v for_o god_n and_o his_o way_n it_o be_v upon_o my_o mind_n what_o i_o have_v further_a to_o note_v that_o may_v be_v a_o evidence_n of_o grace_n i_o hope_v these_o thing_n follow_v which_o it_o please_v god_n to_o bring_v to_o my_o thought_n may_v be_v some_o ground_n to_o believe_v god_n have_v wrought_v saving_o upon_o i_o sure_o i_o do_v confess_v my_o sin_n often_o to_o the_o lord_n in_o secret_a and_o desire_v to_o have_v my_o heart_n penitent_o affect_v with_o they_o and_o
by_o faith_n 6._o true_a faith_n work_v patience_n not_o only_a patience_n in_o wait_v but_o patience_n in_o suffer_v there_o be_v a_o patience_n in_o wait_v for_o the_o accomplishment_n of_o the_o promise_n faith_n say_v to_o a_o believer_n the_o thing_n thou_o wait_v for_o be_v worth_a thy_o wait_n for_o they_o the_o comfort_n thou_o desire_v the_o crown_n of_o glory_n thou_o expect_v be_v worth_a wait_a for_o again_o faith_n work_v patience_n in_o suffer_v heb._n 10._o 34._o they_o take_v joyful_o the_o spoil_n of_o their_o good_n know_v they_o have_v in_o heaven_n a_o more_o endure_a substance_n heb._n 11._o 36._o 37._o they_o endure_v the_o trial_n of_o cruel_a mock_n of_o scourge_n of_o bond_n and_o imprisonment_n they_o be_v stone_v saw_v asunder_o tempt_v slay_v with_o the_o sword_n they_o wander_v about_o in_o sheepskin_n and_o goatskin_n be_v destitute_a forsake_a torment_v and_o yet_o their_o faith_n in_o jesus_n christ_n carry_v they_o through_o all_o these_o suffering_n faith_n tell_v the_o soul_n the_o suffering_n of_o this_o present_a life_n be_v not_o worthy_a to_o be_v compare_v with_o the_o glory_n that_o shall_v be_v reveal_v 7._o true_a faith_n will_v work_v a_o undaunted_a profession_n of_o christ_n name_n he_o will_v profess_v christ_n open_o when_o call_v to_o it_o the_o disciple_n profess_v christ_n when_o it_o be_v death_n to_o do_v so_o i_o be_o not_o ashamed_a of_o the_o gospel_n of_o christ_n say_v the_o apostle_n i_o esteem_v the_o reproach_n of_o christ_n better_a than_o the_o glory_n of_o the_o world_n and_o the_o cross_n of_o christ_n better_a than_o the_o crown_n of_o the_o world_n i_o esteem_v his_o crown_n of_o thorn_n better_o than_o all_o other_o in_o this_o world_n i_o bear_v about_o i_o the_o mark_n of_o the_o lord_n jesus_n gal._n 6._o 17._o he_o call_v his_o sorrow_n and_o suffering_n the_o mark_n of_o christ_n i_o esteem_v they_o my_o great_a honour_n god_n forbid_v say_v he_o i_o shall_v glory_v in_o any_o thing_n but_o in_o the_o cross_n of_o jesus_n christ_n thus_o you_o see_v what_o fruit_n faith_n work_v in_o reference_n to_o jesus_n christ_n now_o there_o be_v fruit_n of_o faith_n in_o reference_n to_o ourselves_o as_o these_o follow_v 1._o true_a faith_n work_v abundance_n of_o inward_a peace_n and_o joy_n rom._n 5._o 1._o be_v justify_v by_o faith_n we_o have_v peace_n with_o god_n and_o it_o must_v needs_o be_v so_o because_o that_o faith_n tell_v the_o soul_n the_o bond_n be_v cancel_v that_o sin_n be_v pardon_v the_o burden_n be_v take_v off_o wound_v of_o conscience_n be_v heal_v with_o the_o wound_n of_o christ_n a_o believer_n can_v say_v in_o peace_n will_v i_o lay_v down_o my_o head_n in_o the_o bosom_n of_o christ_n when_o storm_n and_o wave_n arise_v a_o believer_n can_v sit_v in_o his_o ark_n christ_n and_o a_o good_a conscience_n be_v a_o ark_n for_o a_o poor_a soul_n where_o he_o be_v safe_a a_o true_a believer_n have_v always_o the_o ground_n of_o joy_n though_o not_o always_o the_o exercise_n of_o it_o 2._o another_o fruit_n of_o faith_n in_o reference_n to_o ourselves_o be_v boldness_n in_o come_v to_o the_o throne_n of_o grace_n we_o have_v boldness_n and_o access_n by_o faith_n in_o christ_n ephes_n 3._o 12._o a_o true_a believer_n can_v pour_v out_o his_o soul_n to_o god_n make_v his_o moan_n to_o his_o father_n it_o be_v his_o comfort_n he_o can_v go_v to_o his_o father_n with_o a_o childlike_a boldness_n and_o confidence_n 3._o another_o fruit_n of_o faith_n be_v contempt_n of_o the_o world_n act_v 4._o they_o sell_v their_o possession_n and_o bring_v the_o money_n and_o lay_v it_o down_o at_o the_o apostle_n foot_n they_o regard_v it_o no_o more_o than_o the_o dirt_n under_o their_o foot_n faith_n have_v a_o eagles_n eye_n it_o see_v thing_n a_o far_o off_o and_o a_o eagles_n wing_n to_o carry_v a_o man_n above_o the_o flattery_n and_o the_o frown_n of_o the_o world_n by_o faith_n moses_n fear_v not_o the_o frown_n of_o the_o king_n heb._n 11._o 27._o faith_n let_v a_o man_n see_v there_o be_v better_a to_o be_v find_v in_o christ_n than_o in_o the_o whole_a world_n he_o that_o can_v find_v a_o world_n in_o christ_n will_v be_v willing_a to_o part_v with_o all_o the_o world_n for_o he_o 4._o true_a faith_n will_v produce_v a_o strong_a desire_n of_o strengthen_v and_o increase_n it_o and_o that_o both_o in_o truth_n and_o growth_n it_o will_v make_v a_o man_n still_o be_v search_v his_o heart_n that_o he_o may_v be_v sure_a he_o have_v the_o truth_n of_o faith_n it_o make_v a_o man_n prize_v a_o soul-searching_a ministry_n that_o may_v plough_v up_o the_o fallow_a ground_n of_o his_o heart_n and_o it_o work_v a_o desire_n of_o growth_n also_o it_o make_v a_o believer_n pray_v lord_n increase_v my_o faith_n whether_o thou_o increase_v my_o trade_n and_o wealth_n or_o no_o however_o lord_n increase_v my_o faith_n after_o i_o have_v write_v these_o thing_n i_o go_v into_o my_o closet_n and_o there_o beg_v of_o god_n his_o help_n and_o assistance_n to_o try_v myself_o by_o these_o character_n and_o then_o spend_v a_o little_a time_n go_v over_o they_o and_o try_v my_o state_n by_o they_o and_o i_o bless_v the_o lord_n i_o now_o can_v but_o say_v to_o his_o glory_n that_o i_o find_v they_o in_o some_o measure_n in_o i_o i_o hope_v that_o those_o i_o can_v not_o so_o positive_o answer_v to_o yet_o i_o can_v in_o the_o desire_n of_o my_o soul_n i_o hope_v in_o the_o lord_n i_o be_o not_o deceive_v if_o i_o be_o i_o beseech_v he_o for_o christ_n sake_n to_o undeceive_v i_o and_o let_v i_o know_v how_o it_o be_v with_o i_o but_o methinks_v god_n have_v begin_v some_o good_a work_n in_o i_o and_o wrought_v faith_n in_o my_o poor_a soul_n though_o it_o be_v very_o weak_a the_o lord_n humble_v i_o and_o the_o lord_n help_v i_o to_o bless_v his_o holy_a name_n for_o the_o least_o grace_n and_o earnest_o to_o endeavour_v and_o beg_v of_o he_o the_o increase_n of_o it_o i_o hope_v in_o the_o lord_n i_o may_v have_v recourse_n to_o what_o i_o have_v do_v this_o day_n and_o what_o be_v enter_v before_o in_o a_o time_n of_o doubt_n and_o fear_n in_o a_o hour_n of_o trouble_n under_o god_n withdrawing_n yea_o that_o i_o may_v have_v comfort_n from_o it_o in_o a_o hour_n of_o death_n the_o lord_n grant_v i_o may_v not_o now_o be_v secure_a and_o careless_a but_o that_o i_o may_v walk_v very_o close_o and_o exact_o before_o he_o to_o his_o praise_n and_o glory_n here_o till_o at_o last_o i_o come_v to_o live_v with_o he_o in_o his_o heavenly_a kingdom_n may_v the_o 9th_o 1678._o i_o spend_v the_o day_n in_o a_o secret_a fast_o one_o end_n among_o other_o i_o propose_v to_o myself_o in_o it_o be_v to_o search_v into_o the_o state_n of_o my_o soul_n again_o also_o that_o i_o may_v be_v enable_v to_o suffer_v for_o christ_n if_o i_o be_o call_v to_o it_o etc._n etc._n i_o hope_v i_o desire_v to_o be_v sincere_a and_o hearty_a i_o try_v myself_o by_o the_o mark_n and_o character_n before_o set_v down_o i_o hope_v i_o can_v say_v upon_o search_n that_o the_o lord_n have_v wrought_v save_v grace_n in_o i_o it_o be_v i_o hope_v my_o hearty_a prayer_n that_o if_o it_o be_v not_o so_o i_o may_v not_o so_o enter_v it_o here_o but_o i_o turst_z the_o lord_n have_v turn_v i_o from_o darkness_n to_o light_n and_o that_o i_o be_o not_o dead_a in_o sin_n and_o trespass_n but_o there_o be_v a_o principle_n of_o life_n in_o i_o the_o lord_n grant_v i_o may_v not_o be_v deceive_v towards_o the_o close_a of_o the_o day_n i_o read_v over_o my_o covenant_n and_o hope_v i_o do_v from_o my_o very_a heart_n desire_v to_o bewail_v the_o breach_n of_o it_o and_o renew_v it_o with_o the_o lord_n which_o i_o do_v i_o hope_v in_o the_o strength_n of_o his_o grace_n desire_v christ_n may_v be_v my_o surety_n be_v much_o afraid_a of_o my_o be_v deceive_v lest_o it_o shall_v be_v with_o i_o as_o heretofore_o i_o hope_v i_o do_v hearty_o take_v the_o lord_n for_o my_o god_n and_o give_v up_o myself_o unto_o he_o and_o bind_v myself_o to_o forsake_v all_o sin_n and_o to_o live_v more_o to_o his_o glory_n according_a to_o the_o covenant_n i_o enter_v into_o with_o the_o lord_n about_o eleven_o year_n since_o take_v out_o of_o mr._n allen_n be_v book_n i_o bless_v god_n i_o be_v assist_v to_o day_n in_o the_o work_n i_o undertake_v the_o lord_n accept_v of_o i_o through_o christ_n and_o let_v not_o this_o day_n be_v lose_v o_o that_o i_o may_v not_o prove_v false_a and_o hypocritical_a with_o he_o but_o go_v away_o enable_v to_o live_v more_o to_o his_o praise_n here_o till_o i_o come_v
be_v a_o temptation_n and_o present_o to_o run_v to_o jesus_n christ_n for_o succour_n and_o relief_n and_o to_o apply_v the_o promise_n unto_o my_o soul_n and_o i_o quick_o find_v comfort_n and_o be_v soon_o free_v from_o temptation_n but_o in_o this_o my_o prosperity_n i_o be_v ready_a to_o say_v i_o shall_v never_o be_v remove_v i_o begin_v to_o think_v i_o shall_v never_o be_v in_o adversity_n and_o sometime_o i_o be_v ready_a to_o question_v whether_o i_o be_v one_o of_o god_n child_n because_o i_o have_v no_o affliction_n i_o think_v god_n do_v not_o love_v i_o because_o he_o do_v not_o chasten_v i_o i_o think_v i_o can_v bear_v any_o thing_n he_o shall_v lay_v upon_o i_o as_o i_o value_v not_o life_n so_o i_o fear_v not_o death_n i_o think_v i_o can_v free_o and_o willing_o lay_v down_o my_o life_n for_o christ_n if_o i_o be_v call_v to_o it_o but_o this_o joyful_a lively_a active_a frame_n of_o spirit_n do_v not_o long_o continue_v in_o about_o a_o quarter_n of_o a_o year_n it_o begin_v to_o abate_v and_o i_o begin_v to_o be_v more_o cold_a and_o indifferent_a in_o spiritual_a thing_n and_o not_o to_o be_v so_o active_a and_o lively_a as_o before_o this_o be_v a_o great_a trouble_n to_o i_o and_o make_v i_o to_o question_v all_o that_o be_v pass_v i_o think_v i_o shall_v still_o have_v grow_v better_a and_o better_o and_o not_o worse_o then_o that_o scripture_n be_v terrible_a to_o i_o 2_o pet._n 2._o 29._o if_o after_o they_o have_v escape_v the_o pollution_n of_o the_o world_n through_o the_o knowledge_n of_o our_o lord_n and_o saviour_n jesus_n christ_n they_o be_v again_o entangle_v therein_o and_o overcome_v their_o latter_a end_n be_v worse_a than_o their_o beginning_n and_o that_o scripture_n heb._n 6._o 4._o it_o be_v impossible_a for_o those_o that_o be_v once_o enlighten_v and_o have_v taste_v the_o good_a word_n of_o god_n etc._n etc._n if_o they_o fall_v away_o to_o renew_v they_o again_o to_o repentance_n also_o that_o text_n rev._n 3._o 15_o 16._o because_o thou_o be_v neither_o hot_a nor_o cold_a i_o will_v spew_v thou_o out_o of_o my_o mouth_n i_o be_v much_o sensible_a of_o my_o backslide_n fear_v i_o shall_v turn_v apostate_n have_v not_o that_o sweet_a promise_v interpose_v i_o will_v heal_v their_o backslide_n and_o love_v they_o free_o i_o have_v be_v certain_o swallow_v up_o in_o despair_n satan_n that_o roar_a lion_n come_v upon_o i_o very_o fierce_o but_o that_o scripture_n be_v very_o comfortable_a to_o i_o i_o will_v put_v my_o fear_n into_o their_o heart_n and_o my_o spirit_n into_o their_o inward_a part_n and_o they_o shall_v never_o depart_v from_o i_o and_o who_o he_o love_v he_o love_v to_o the_o end_n and_o he_o that_o have_v begin_v a_o good_a work_n will_v perform_v it_o unto_o the_o day_n of_o jesus_n christ_n and_o faithful_a be_v he_o that_o have_v call_v you_o who_o will_v also_o do_v it_o these_o and_o other_o scripture_n do_v support_v i_o but_o i_o can_v not_o attain_v to_o my_o former_a lively_a performance_n of_o holy_a duty_n nor_o have_v i_o that_o communion_n with_o god_n in_o holy_a duty_n as_o former_o which_o be_v no_o small_a trouble_n to_o i_o and_o keep_v i_o from_o rejoice_v in_o god_n yet_o i_o can_v say_v but_o i_o have_v sometime_o assurance_n of_o god_n love_n but_o not_o constant_o as_o i_o have_v before_o then_o my_o grandmother_n be_v sick_a i_o go_v to_o be_v with_o she_o at_o my_o uncle_n house_n he_o be_v a_o very_a good_a man_n his_o company_n be_v no_o small_a comfort_n to_o i_o my_o grandmother_n also_o be_v a_o very_a pious_a woman_n be_v always_o speak_v of_o what_o be_v good_a i_o enjoy_v much_o of_o god_n while_o i_o be_v there_o but_o yet_o be_v many_o time_n in_o fear_n about_o my_o spiritual_a state_n and_o much_o trouble_v with_o the_o temptation_n of_o satan_n after_o i_o have_v be_v there_o a_o quarter_n of_o a_o year_n it_o please_v the_o lord_n to_o visit_v i_o with_o the_o small_a pox_n which_o be_v a_o very_a sore_a disease_n to_o i_o i_o be_v bring_v so_o low_a as_o to_o be_v give_v over_o for_o dead_a by_o most_o if_o not_o all_o that_o see_v i_o and_o once_o they_o think_v i_o have_v be_v actual_o dead_a when_o i_o be_v first_o sick_a i_o begin_v to_o be_v in_o great_a fear_n what_o will_v become_v of_o i_o if_o i_o shall_v die_v but_o this_o cloud_n be_v soon_o blow_v over_o and_o the_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o shine_v upon_o i_o with_o the_o light_n of_o his_o countenance_n and_o speak_v peace_n to_o my_o conscience_n and_o when_o i_o be_v as_o weak_a as_o i_o think_v any_o can_v be_v and_o live_v yet_o have_v i_o then_o much_o inward_a joy_n and_o comfort_n the_o promise_n be_v as_o cordial_n to_o my_o faint_a spirit_n that_o promise_n isa_n 41._o 10_o do_v often_o refresh_v i_o fear_v not_o for_o i_o be_o with_o thou_o be_v not_o dismay_v for_o i_o be_o thy_o god_n i_o will_v strengthen_v thou_o i_o will_v help_v thou_o yea_o i_o will_v uphold_v thou_o with_o the_o right_a hand_n of_o my_o righteousness_n that_o also_o psal_n 73._o 25._o my_o flesh_n and_o my_o heart_n fail_v but_o god_n be_v the_o strength_n of_o my_o heart_n and_o my_o portion_n for_o ever_o so_o psal_n 43._o 5._o why_o be_v thou_o cast_v down_o o_o my_o soul_n why_o be_v thou_o disquiet_v within_o i_o hope_v thou_o in_o god_n for_o i_o shall_v yet_o praise_v he_o who_o be_v the_o health_n of_o my_o countenance_n and_o my_o god_n these_o and_o many_o other_o promise_v be_v my_o support_n in_o the_o day_n of_o my_o distress_n i_o have_v then_o such_o assurance_n of_o god_n goodness_n and_o love_n to_o i_o and_o of_o the_o pardon_n of_o my_o sin_n and_o of_o my_o interest_n in_o christ_n that_o i_o long_v for_o death_n and_o can_v not_o bear_v the_o thought_n of_o live_v any_o long_o i_o have_v such_o fore-tastes_a of_o heaven_n that_o i_o care_v not_o for_o the_o earth_n i_o earnest_o desire_v to_o be_v dissolve_v and_o to_o be_v with_o christ_n which_o be_v best_a of_o all_o i_o think_v if_o i_o shall_v live_v any_o long_a i_o shall_v but_o sin_n against_o god_n and_o that_o i_o can_v not_o glorify_v he_o in_o my_o life_n as_o i_o desire_v i_o think_v if_o he_o shall_v restore_v i_o i_o shall_v not_o be_v enable_v to_o walk_v answerable_o to_o so_o great_a a_o mercy_n these_o and_o other_o such_o reason_n make_v i_o impatient_a of_o life_n and_o long_o for_o death_n i_o be_v angry_a with_o any_o that_o pray_v for_o my_o life_n i_o now_o fear_v that_o i_o do_v sin_n in_o be_v so_o desirous_a of_o death_n and_o not_o submit_v my_o will_n to_o the_o will_n of_o god_n to_o be_v at_o his_o disposal_n whether_o for_o death_n or_o life_n so_o it_o please_v the_o lord_n after_o a_o long_a and_o tedious_a sickness_n to_o raise_v i_o up_o from_o the_o very_a gate_n of_o death_n this_o be_v look_v upon_o as_o almost_o a_o resurrection_n from_o the_o dead_a for_o which_o great_a deliverance_n i_o can_v never_o be_v sufficient_o thankful_a and_o because_o i_o so_o much_o desire_v to_o die_v i_o do_v not_o prize_v my_o life_n and_o this_o deliverance_n as_o i_o shall_v have_v do_v neither_o do_v i_o render_v to_o the_o lord_n according_a to_o the_o mercy_n i_o receive_v from_o he_o i_o desire_v now_o to_o be_v true_o thankful_a to_o the_o lord_n for_o all_o his_o mercy_n and_o to_o show_v forth_o my_o thankfulness_n by_o walk_v more_o close_o with_o he_o all_o the_o day_n of_o my_o life_n the_o follow_a encourage_v consideration_n among_o other_o be_v collect_v by_o he_o out_o of_o several_a book_n and_o sermon_n and_o be_v print_v from_o his_o own_o paper_n in_o hope_n of_o be_v useful_a for_o the_o support_n of_o other_o i._o thou_o that_o complain_v of_o a_o hard_a heart_n and_o fain_o will_v mourn_v for_o thy_o sin_n to_o thou_o i_o say_v be_v not_o discourage_v thy_o hardness_n fear_v and_o feel_v be_v not_o the_o plague_n of_o hardness_n it_o be_v the_o disease_n indeed_o of_o the_o heart_n but_o it_o be_v not_o the_o curse_n it_o shall_v not_o destroy_v thou_o thou_o may_v be_v comfort_v under_o hardness_n feel_v and_o bewail_v and_o pray_v against_o true_a tenderness_n about_o sin_n be_v always_o accompany_v with_o dislike_n and_o hatred_n against_o sin_n and_o with_o watch_v and_o strive_v against_o it_o if_o thou_o have_v so_o much_o tenderness_n bless_v god_n and_o be_v thankful_a ii_o there_o be_v no_o instance_n can_v be_v give_v of_o a_o soul_n utter_o for_o saken_a of_o god_n that_o can_v mourn_v for_o the_o want_n of_o his_o presence_n if_o god_n love_n be_v precious_a to_o thou_o and_o most_o desirable_a be_v