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A53458
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Guzman a comedy : acted at the Theatre-Royal / written by the ... Earl of Orrery.
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Orrery, Roger Boyle, Earl of, 1621-1679.
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1693
(1693)
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Wing O478; ESTC R17646
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61,059
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69
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should have burst out a Laughing in their Faces Enter Guiv. Alva Fran. leading in Salaz Fern. Tirelesa Tireletta both Mask'd the Priest following Guiv. The Rascals fled as soon as they but saw our Swords Salaz Gentlemen we owe you our Lives and these Ladies their Honors Ovie. By this Light our two Uncles Pir. Ah Uncles I little thought you would turn Wenchers and be Rambling at this unseasonable hour of the Night to follow your Game Ovie. Fie why should you to save Charges be your own Caterers were you ne'er so Cock-a-hoop you might have had an old She Adjutant in a Minute to have brought to your own Houses these natural Julips Guzm. By Hyems this is a strange sinful Age that old Men which have each of 'em one Foot in the Grave should be running on both Feet and in Cemerian Darkness too after their Fornication you that by your Age wrizl'd Faces and Silver Hair should be Solon's and Lycurgus's to turn Aratin's and Agrepina's I am asham'd of it Salaz Are you all Mad These two are not our Wenches but our Wives All seem amazed Fern. Why do you stare thus Ovie. Alas Uncles this way of Lying is worse than to do it with Wenches Pastra Indeed Sir the Excuse is as bad as the Fault Men of your Years to marry Girls it is two to one they give you an incurable Head-Ach Anton. Married 't is impossible Alas what have your Nephews done to affront you that you should thus chuse to disinherit them only to make your Wives Children your Heirs Ovie. Married said you to whom Salaz I am to Maria. Fern. And I to Lucia and this is the holy Priest that not an hour since did Join our Hands Ovie. Maria and Lucia Why those are the Names of our Wives Salaz A hundred several Women may have one Name but these two are our Wives nor are we asham'd to shew you their Faces Pray take off your Masks Fern. We own them for your Aunts Tirel Tirelesa unmask Salaz Fern. step back holding up their Hands Salaz What 's this Fernando we are betray'd and cheated Fern. I am turn'd a Statue All Laugh Mar. and Luc. unvail Salaz In the Name of Wonder what are ye Tirel Your Donship's Ladies as well can testifie this faithful little Levite Tirelesa Our Names are Tireletta and Tirelesa we were Maids to Maria and Lucia but now for want of better their Ladiships Aunts Fran. goes and gazes at the Priest Guzm. By Copernicus Conjuring Names and Jugling Faces this comes of making Love with Spectacles by Cassandra's Prophesies considering how Ante-Eagle-Ey'd these Old Fellows are 't was well they light upon two of the right Sex and not upon two Patriarchs with fork'd Swallow-tail'dBeards that reach'd to their Navels for if they had this Ambulatory young Elder would for double pay have married them as cheerfully to those Magi and to these two Cockatrices Salaz Undone for ever and past hope too of Redemption Fern. Ah Salazar To live till Eighty in the repute of wise and honest Men and then to act this Folly I hope the Grief of it will fling me in my Grave Salaz That 's the only hope that 's left me too Guzm. By Actaeon you have reason for 't is better to be six Foot lower than the Surface of the Earth than six Foot higher than the Crown of your Heads For so tall I Prophesie they 'll graft your Noddles Fran. Make room for me I cannot see two Uncles to my Sisters in such torment and not give 'em ease tell me Gentlemen would your being unmarried cure your Griefs Salaz O Sir Do not you mock us too Fern. Heap not Scorn on Affliction Fran. By my Life I am in earnest Will you give your present Wives Five hundred Crowns apiece to get other Husbands with and their Houshold Chaplain a Hundred more to buy Books a Cassock and a Gown if I make good what I have spoken Salaz Would we Yes as willing as Sick Men would be well Fern. Alas you talk of Impossibilities Fran. Bind your selves by Vow before all this Company and I 'll instantly perform what I have said Salaz Fern. We Vow it before all these Witnesses Fran. Then thus I make your Marriages Null Fran. pulls off the Perewig and her Woman's Hair falls about her Ears I gest this was my Sister's Laundress Priest I only mumbl'd over some few words which I made them take for Matrimony Salaz You have relieved us Sir from Pains which would have kill'd us in two Hours Fern. Our Debts to them we 'll pay to night as we have promised but those we owe you can ne'er be satisfied Guzm. By Craesus what a Mass of Mony might be raised among the Husbands of a Years standing could Francisco inable them to prove that every one of them had been so married Iul. Take heed you do not in six Months wish he could do it for you too Leon. Since all our storms are thus happily over-blown 't is fit we now should rest this Night ye are all my Guests Guzm. By Hercules's Labors who e'er but names the world Rest among so many Brides and Bride-Grooms Affronts the Company Why the two grave Uncles yonder had they not been divorc'd would by way of Indignation have spit in the very Face of that dull Mono-syllable Who thinks of Rest the day he Wed 's a Wise Deserves to be depriv'd of it for Life FINIS TO The Right Honorable LIONEL EARL OF ORRERY Baron of BROGHILL c. MY LORD UPON my Perusal of Guzman in Manuscript I thought it a piece of Justice to the World as well as to the Memory of your Lordships Honorable Grand-Father the most Ingenious and Accomplish'd Earl of Orrery to see it Published with the Volume of his other Plays I was surprized to find that the Author of the Black Prince Harry the Fifth and Mustapha should have a Genius for Comedy when he condescended to that Task The Tale of Guzman appears to have been a Spanish Design and therefore naturally grave but the Spirit of my Lord Orrery's Wit was sufficient to quicken the Mass to enliven and beautifie it to that degree as renders it an Entertainment for an English Reader The Intriegue is carried on with Variety of Accidents and Pleasant Circumstances and which is the Life and Perfection of Comedy wound up into a natural and surprizing Conclusion I have very seldom seen so many Characters of Persons and separate Interests managed with so much Conduct as not to perplex the Tale but every Thing serviceable to the Progress of the main Design The Reputation of Mustapha has been established by the Approbation of all sorts of Spectators and will continue a just Model of Tragedy as long as the Stage shall last The Story is magnificent the Characters and Persons of the Noblest Rank which are all maintained to their Dignity and preserved in their proper Colours The Business of greatest Importance The Expression and Sentiments Just and Noble The Passion and Distress wrought up to such a Height as commands our Attention and Affections The Noble Author of the ensuing Comedy was furnish'd within himself for any Performance of Wit forasmuch as no Man of his Time better understood Men and Things He was not only an Example of Ingenuity Himself but a great Encourager of it in Others Indeed there was no sort of Merit that escaped his Patronage Poetry was but one of his Accomplishments As for his other Qualifications derived to him from his Predecessors those he supported in his own Person and Character and transmitted them with Advantage to your Lordships Honorable Father who has again resign'd them as Hereditary to your Lordship That Sweetness of Temper that Principle of Justice and Generosity which are already conspicuous in your Lordship give sure Promises that you will maintain the Honor and Reputation of your Predecessors The World and Time are yet before you and you have already obtain'd so great an Interest in Mankind as to have every Body's good Wishes For my own part I am obliged not only upon the promising Hopes I have conceived of your Lordship but likewise upon the Alliance you have to our most Honorable English Maecenas to whom the Acknowledgments of the Muses are eternally devoted neither will it ever be determined whether he is more a Favorer of them or their Favorite I have already acquainted your Lordship with the Occasion of this Address and cannot despair of your Lordship's Acceptance of the following Piece in Print which I question not will be favorably received by the World I would only farther beg leave to say that I am with all Respect and Sincerity MY LORD Your LORDSHIPS most Devoted Humble SERVANT N. TATE Dramatis Personae GUzman An Old Covetous Rich Amorous Cowardly Buffoon Francisco Guivarro Alvares Three Brothers Gentlemen of decay'd Fortunes left to shift by their Wits Oviedo Piracco Two Young Foppish Dons of plentiful Fortunes Pretenders to Antonia and Pastrana Salazar Ferdinando Vncles and Guardians to Oviedo and Piracco who in stead of Discharging their Trust are themselves practised upon Maria. Lucia Sisters to Guivarro Francisco Alvares and Confederates in their Design Leonora A Rich Widow Antonia Pastrana Her Daughters great Fortunes all Three practised upon by the forementioned Alvares and his Brothers Julia. Leonora's Woman Youngest Sister to Maria and Lucia Tireletta Tirelesa Maid-Servants formerly to Maria and Lucia Boy drest like a Spirit Scene Salamanca * Maria and Lucia peeping through the Scene
Mahometans pelted Scodra with Guzm. I say the bigger the better Guiv. But pray Sir consider your Duel at these Weapons cannot be fought this Evening nor indeed this six Weeks All Battering-Cannon are the King 's and we shall scarce borrow Sala Fern. Maria and Luc. a couple out of the Arsenal to fight a Duel with So that you must get Metal and Founders of your own Alva He tells you right Guzm. Well rather than protract my Sport for such Duels are to me I am content for this time to fight but with a Case of Pistols and neither Sword nor Dagger shall be in the Field when this Evening I have kill'd Oviedo for it is natural the Eldest Brother to dye first if to morrow Morning Piracco has a mind to the like Fate I shall look to hear from him again And then let him expect Leaden-Pill to purge away his Mortality You have your Answers Alva My Friend shall meet you at the Hour and Place and only arm'd with Pistols Guzm. You may assure your Friend he shall have the Honor to be the next kill'd by my own hand for by Tamberlain I will neither give or take Quarter Guiv. Well Sir these Bravadoes are fitter to be answer'd in the Field than in your Chamber in which we 'll leave you to make your Will and say your Prayers Guzm. Hang Wills and Testaments and for Praying let those look to it that are doom'd to dye go and get Confessors for your Friends 't is the last and the best Office you can do them Ex. several ways The Scence the Piazzo The new flat Scene Enter Salazar and Fernando with Spectacles on their Noses and Maria and Lucia Fran. LAdies we come to offer you our Hearts Mar. And is your Business Love Sala 'T is the Business of the World Luc. I rather thought by your Wrinkled Faces your Quadruple Eyes and your Grizl'd Heads that you came to read us a Theological Lecture of Abstinence and Repentance Mar. What Saints should we turn were our Hearts as much mortifi'd as those December-Lovers-Looks Fern. Since Love's a Fire it must sooner burn in the dry Woods than in the Green Luc. Well Sister I shall have a terrible ill Opinion of our Beauties since they could make no better Conquests Salaz You should value them the more that can turn Ages-Ashes into a Flame Mar. Hy-da Why they have got the Young-Men's Dialect and talk of Fires and Flames Pray how many Jubilees are there since you were first in Love Fern. 'T was Yesterday for then I first beheld you Though we have seen a thousand whom the World calls Beauties yet till we saw you we ne'er could learn what that word did mean Luc. Alas Good Gentlemen you begin to learn somewhat late yet if you live to it you may make pretty Scholars for I find you have Inclinations But pray how did Love enter you Fern. As a Conqueror it came not in at the Gate but threw down the Walls of the Fortress to have the nobler Passage Mar. Why then there 's hopes he may soon get out again the breach being so large Lucia to Salazar Pray let me Catechise you too How how does Love deal with you now he is the Victor and by what signs do you know you are in Love Salaz He uses me like a Tyrant for he would not let me sleep all last Night Luc. By my Troth Sir and that perhaps has made you a little Light-headed to day Mar. By my Troth Sister they begin to incline me to try them for a while that the World may know what Love Ovie. Pirac can do at Eighty Luc. But what is it that you would be at Salaz Marriage Madam Marriage our Passions have an honorable End Mar. And a wise Beginning but what would you do if you were marry'd Fern. The best we could to please you we would settle Joyntures upon you give you fine Cloaths rich Coaches and Caetera Luc. Et Caetera What 's that Salaz 'T is a very Aenigmatical Word and cannot be open'd till the Marriage-knot is ty'd Mar. Well if I were sure that your Et Caetera were as good as what you have exprest 't would operate strangely one me But would you not grow Melancholy and Sighing say You had not so much need of a Wife the day after Wedlock as you Guz. and Fran. ready thought you had the day before Pir. I have gain'd Iulia who has promised us Admittance but we must not lose one Moment of our time Ovie. Now thou deservest the name of a Polititian Fern. ' Slid 't is our Nephews I would not Oviedo and Piracco passing over the Stage as talking to one another for the World that they should see us in this Company Salaz 'T is they Ladies we beg your Pardons but to morrow we 'll perfect what this day we have so happily begun Fern. Beautiful Lucia I Kiss your Fair Hands Mar. What made those two Ghosts vanish so suddenly They go out hastily at one Door and Ovie. and Pirac pass out at the other Luc. Why you put them a Question that they could not in Conscience deny and yet were ashamed to confess But I think those two Gentlemen which walked by did Alarm them Maria. What Legs the Old Goats made Well I dare Prophesie without the help of a Tripos That I shall live to see them as like those Beasts in their Horns as they are in their Faces and Beards But yet we need not wish them a worse Condition than that they flung themselves into For nothing can a greater Torment prove Than in Old Age t' indure the Qualms of Love Exeunt The Scene a Field with Trees The Forest. Enter Guzman and Francisco each with a pair of Pistols Fran. THus much of the Honour of the Day is ours already though we are the Challeng'd yet we are the first in the Field Guzm. By Barbarossa I think the Rogues dare not come the Noise of Fighting with Fire-Arms has terrified them Let me tell you Francisco I my self should be somewhat Squeamish at a Pistol were I not Charm'd I say I my own self would be so then judge what an ordinary Cavaliero must be well 't is a most delicious thing to shoot at one's Enemy and to be Shot-free one 's self 't is a kind of Fowling at Men. Clapping his Pistol to his Shoulder like a Fowling-piece Fran. And yet you scrupled to give Five hundren Crowns to possess this Noble Privilege Guzm. Friend mine I would not for Five thousand Pound but enjoy it I find it has given me a new Heart By Muleasses of Morocco were I not afraid of the Law I could every day commit a Massacre But take heed they put not slur on me and send Counterfeits to fight their Quarrel for I never saw Oviedo and Piracco and therefore know their Faces no more than I know my Catechism Francisco wilt thou keep a Secret if I trust thee with it Fran. Keep it close as a Confessor