rather_o weep_v and_o mourn_v for_o my_o offend_v thou_o then_o enjoy_v all_o delight_n in_o the_o world_n those_o salt_n water_n be_v more_o precious_a than_o their_o wine_n meditat._n xvii_o lord_n i_o beseech_v thou_o to_o order_v all_o my_o affair_n by_o thy_o wisdom_n thou_o know_v what_o affliction_n be_v needful_a for_o i_o i_o murmur_v oftentimes_o when_o thou_o afflict_a i_o although_o i_o have_v again_o and_o again_o desire_v thou_o to_o direct_v all_o thing_n that_o belong_v unto_o i_o but_o bless_a god_n let_v not_o my_o murmur_n so_o provoke_v thou_o as_o to_o leave_v i_o to_o my_o own_o self_n give_v i_o not_o what_o i_o desire_v but_o what_o i_o want_v my_o judgement_n in_o judge_v what_o be_v good_a or_o bad_a for_o i_o be_v little_a worth_n for_o many_o time_n i_o have_v judge_v such_o a_o thing_n to_o be_v for_o my_o hurt_n yet_o it_o have_v prove_v much_o for_o my_o good_a and_o so_o on_o the_o contrary_a but_o then_o i_o have_v by_o experience_n find_v it_o evident_o for_o my_o good_a when_o i_o have_v yield_v myself_o whole_o to_o be_v guide_v by_o thou_o all_o thing_n lord_n make_v i_o know_v myself_o i_o be_o a_o poor_a creature_n with_o tear_n in_o my_o eye_n and_o hypocrisy_n in_o my_o heart_n meditat._n xviii_o lord_n it_o fare_v with_o i_o as_o it_o fare_v with_o one_o that_o have_v be_v a_o long_a time_n from_o his_o friend_n he_o have_v many_o thing_n to_o tell_v he_o of_o several_a particular_n that_o befall_v he_o since_o their_o last_o be_v together_o so_o lord_n i_o have_v be_v a_o stranger_n to_o thou_o and_o i_o have_v much_o to_o say_v to_o thou_o much_o have_v i_o suffer_v from_o my_o own_o corruption_n and_o little_o have_v i_o do_v i_o have_v a_o heart_n will_v let_v i_o do_v nothing_o for_o thou_o lord_n i_o be_o but_o a_o child_n pardon_v my_o babble_n i_o have_v none_o to_o make_v my_o complaint_n to_o no_o not_o one_o thou_o have_v cause_v i_o to_o live_v in_o mesech_n and_o to_o have_v my_o habitation_n in_o the_o tent_n of_o kedar_n and_o if_o thou_o lord_n will_v supply_v the_o want_n of_o those_o christian_a friend_n i_o be_o now_o deprive_v of_o lord_n my_o heart_n be_v so_o deceitful_a that_o i_o have_v much_o a_o do_v to_o know_v whether_o i_o ever_o be_v or_o be_o yet_o thou_o i_o know_v lord_n how_o i_o have_v spend_v day_n sometime_o whole_a week_n together_o in_o prayer_n and_o meditation_n and_o read_v devotionary_a book_n to_o prepare_v myself_o for_o the_o communion_n and_o yet_o then_o i_o have_v gross_a sailing_n for_o there_o be_v a_o world_n of_o covetousness_n in_o i_o and_o thirst_v after_o humane_a learning_n exceed_o and_o little_a prize_v the_o knowledge_n of_o christ_n in_o my_o sermon_n i_o do_v little_a aim_n at_o thy_o glory_n but_o to_o preach_v myself_o now_o in_o these_o thing_n i_o find_v some_o healing_n but_o my_o duty_n be_v few_o and_o now_o there_o be_v far_o more_o want_v in_o comparison_n of_o what_o i_o shall_v be_v than_o be_v then_o of_o what_o i_o be_o now_o nay_o lord_n thou_o only_o know_v i_o shall_v be_v a_o gainer_n but_o alas_o if_o now_o i_o be_o alone_a i_o shall_v have_v no_o more_o fire_n of_o thy_o love_n then_o i_o have_v when_o i_o live_v in_o the_o midst_n of_o glow_a coal_n of_o devotion_n how_o can_v i_o but_o go_v out_o now_o since_o i_o have_v much_o ado_n to_o burn_v then_o when_o i_o think_v of_o serve_v thou_o than_o my_o heart_n be_v so_o perverse_a as_o to_o put_v in_o a_o carnal_a motive_n and_o say_v if_o thou_o do_v so_o then_o god_n will_v bless_v thou_o in_o such_o or_o such_o a_o temporal_a blessing_n and_o my_o heart_n close_v with_o that_o motive_n meditat._v xix_o o_o my_o god_n as_o thou_o be_v my_o father_n so_o let_v i_o know_v that_o thy_o love_n to_o i_o be_v know_v by_o i_o may_v put_v wheel_n to_o my_o obedience_n that_o now_o go_v so_o heavy_o &_o that_o it_o may_v make_v my_o obedience_n more_o pure_a that_o now_o be_v so_o full_a of_o insufficiency_n i_o be_o fain_a to_o be_v glad_a almost_o of_o any_o motive_n to_o make_v i_o serve_v thou_o but_o yet_o it_o be_v my_o burden_n that_o fear_n shall_v make_v i_o do_v that_o which_o love_n shall_v make_v i_o do_v for_o beside_o that_o such_o obedience_n be_v painful_a that_o which_o be_v worse_o it_o be_v impure_a also_o alas_o i_o be_o a_o stranger_n too_o much_o unto_o thou_o and_o in_o be_v so_o a_o enemy_n to_o myself_o lord_n this_o be_v the_o first_o day_n i_o have_v give_v thou_o this_o great_a while_n it_o do_v appear_v it_o be_v so_o by_o the_o poor_a and_o weak_a duty_n i_o perform_v my_o poor_a soul_n be_v like_o a_o poor_a desolate_a widow_n that_o have_v lose_v her_o dear_a husband_n every_o one_o trample_v upon_o she_o and_o oppreise_v she_o meditat._n xx._n lord_n where_o be_v those_o sweet_a embrance_n and_o manifestation_n of_o thy_o love_n that_o thou_o have_v bestow_v on_o i_o in_o former_a time_n when_o i_o have_v go_v unto_o the_o treasury_n of_o thy_o mercy_n and_o fetch_v any_o mercy_n from_o thence_o that_o i_o want_v thou_o have_v give_v unto_o my_o prayer_n my_o dear_a brother_n who_o go_v forth_o a_o blasphemer_n or_o at_o least_o a_o common_a swearer_n and_o come_v home_o i_o seek_v thou_o for_o he_o a_o convert_n after_o thou_o give_v i_o his_o life_n and_o the_o life_n of_o my_o mother_n and_o indeed_o lord_n what_o be_v it_o but_o i_o have_v of_o thou_o thou_o do_v almost_o miraculous_o restore_v one_o of_o my_o sister_n to_o comfort_v but_o now_o when_o i_o cry_v and_o shout_n thou_o shutte_v out_o my_o prayer_n and_o be_v almost_o as_o if_o i_o never_o have_v any_o acquaintance_n with_o thou_o lord_n i_o know_v that_o the_o fault_n be_v i_o own_o indeed_o lord_n i_o then_o be_v scarce_o ever_o from_o thou_o or_o out_o of_o thy_o thought_n for_o be_v i_o but_o as_o i_o have_v be_v so_o often_o keep_v day_n of_o humble_v before_o thou_o it_o can_v not_o be_v that_o my_o duty_n shall_v be_v such_o as_o they_o be_v but_o lord_n thou_o see_v the_o tear_n thâ—se_a thought_n cause_v i_o to_o shed_v they_o be_v thou_o do_v thou_o increase_v they_o but_o take_v away_o this_o dulness_n and_o deadness_n of_o heart_n that_o be_v the_o just_a reason_n why_o i_o shed_v they_o and_o if_o thou_o shall_v once_o purify_v and_o inflame_v my_o heart_n by_o faith_n and_o love_n i_o shall_v shed_v abundant_a more_o tear_n for_o my_o wander_a thought_n in_o prayer_n than_o now_o i_o do_v for_o all_o the_o abomination_n i_o be_o guilty_a of_o alas_o lord_n the_o ordinary_a day_n of_o thy_o saint_n be_v far_o more_o holy_a than_o the_o day_n i_o set_v apart_o for_o special_a service_n of_o thou_o and_o their_o thought_n in_o the_o midst_n of_o their_o worldly_a business_n be_v more_o devout_a and_o zealous_a than_o my_o thought_n in_o my_o prayer_n be_v always_o with_o thou_o i_o scarce_o do_v any_o thing_n though_o almost_o of_o never_o so_o small_a moment_n but_o the_o reason_n why_o i_o do_v it_o this_o or_o that_o way_n be_v because_o it_o be_v some_o way_n or_o other_o more_o for_o thy_o glory_n lord_n it_o be_v not_o thy_o fault_n for_o thou_o do_v wait_v to_o show_v mercy_n whether_o my_o wretched_a heart_n will_v consent_v to_o it_o or_o no_o this_o i_o do_v set_v down_o as_o a_o infallible_a truth_n and_o let_v all_o the_o world_n give_v thou_o the_o glory_n of_o it_o all_o thy_o way_n be_v holy_a just_a and_o good_a and_o thou_o do_v stretch_v out_o thy_o arm_n to_o embrace_v we_o it_o be_v our_o fault_n that_o we_o do_v not_o run_v into_o thy_o bosom_n the_o infidelity_n and_o other_o corruption_n that_o be_v in_o our_o bosom_n make_v we_o think_v that_o thou_o be_v not_o willing_a to_o receive_v we_o or_o embrace_v we_o and_o so_o we_o not_o come_v we_o want_v that_o experimental_a knowledge_n of_o thou_o that_o will_v if_o we_o have_v it_o make_v we_o not_o so_o timorous_a of_o come_v to_o thou_o as_o we_o be_v meditat._n xxi_o before_o i_o begin_v to_o write_v i_o know_v i_o have_v more_o cause_n to_o write_v in_o blood_n or_o tear_n then_o in_o ink_n can_v a_o mother_n forget_v her_o child_n it_o be_v not_o can_v a_o child_n forget_v the_o mother_n nor_o be_v it_o can_v a_o mother_n her_o child_n if_o the_o child_n forget_v she_o or_o can_v there_o be_v any_o case_n wherein_o the_o mother_n can_v forget_v her_o child_n lord_n do_v thou_o awaken_v my_o heart_n for_o it_o be_v a_o sleep_n lord_n do_v thou_o raise_v my_o heart_n for_o it_o be_v dead_a do_v thou_o thaw_v my_o heart_n for_o it_o be_v freeze_v lord_n thou_o be_v that_o celestial_a fire_n
for_o i_o that_o thou_o have_v do_v for_o i_o bless_a god_n do_v but_o make_v i_o thou_o meditat._n xiii_o in_o the_o most_o serious_a address_n of_o my_o soul_n to_o take_v hold_n upon_o god_n i_o find_v a_o unhappy_a frozenness_n benumb_v the_o best_a of_o my_o devotion_n and_o thereby_o i_o show_v either_o that_o i_o be_o extreme_o ignorant_a of_o thou_o lord_n or_o what_o be_v worse_o senseless_a of_o thou_o the_o truth_n be_v i_o may_v just_o tremble_v when_o i_o come_v to_o keep_v any_o day_n of_o humiliation_n in_o thy_o sight_n not_o only_o because_o of_o the_o desperate_a sin_n i_o be_o guilty_a of_o but_o especial_o because_o such_o duty_n do_v work_v little_a or_o nothing_o upon_o i_o and_o this_o be_v sure_a enough_o that_o those_o ordinance_n that_o do_v not_o soften_v do_v harden_v i_o be_o in_o a_o great_a straight_o my_o conscience_n drive_v i_o upon_o duty_n and_o i_o dare_v not_o omit_v they_o and_o yet_o my_o heart_n be_v so_o hard_a and_o filthy_a that_o they_o do_v not_o purify_v i_o so_o i_o be_o more_o defile_v than_o before_o ah_o my_o god_n thou_o know_v what_o affliction_n be_v bitter_a and_o strong_a enough_o to_o purge_v these_o corruption_n lord_n send_v they_o and_o though_o i_o be_o so_o vile_a that_o i_o do_v not_o now_o fervent_o and_o earnest_o enough_o desire_n to_o be_v cure_v but_o yet_o lord_n i_o know_v my_o want_n of_o desire_n of_o reformation_n be_v one_o of_o my_o great_a corruption_n i_o desire_v to_o be_v cure_v of_o that_o or_o at_o least_o lord_n thy_o fatherly_a goodness_n i_o hope_v will_v take_v care_n to_o cure_v i_o of_o that_o and_o lord_n this_o i_o know_v that_o when_o thou_o shall_v send_v any_o such_o affliction_n upon_o i_o i_o shall_v it_o be_v too_o likely_a murmur_n and_o be_v weary_a of_o the_o chastisement_n of_o the_o lord_n it_o may_v be_v i_o shall_v pray_v for_o the_o take_n off_o of_o that_o corrosive_n before_o it_o have_v eat_v away_o that_o deadness_n of_o heart_n and_o other_o corruption_n that_o now_o lie_v upon_o i_o yet_o lord_n do_v not_o yield_v to_o such_o prayer_n go_v on_o with_o thy_o cure_n and_o if_o i_o be_v impatient_a cure_v that_o corruption_n also_o and_o every_o other_o corruption_n that_o shall_v appear_v in_o the_o time_n of_o cure_n of_o any_o corruption_n i_o shall_v bless_v thou_o one_o day_n for_o not_o hear_v and_o not_o grant_v such_o prayer_n as_o shall_v be_v for_o my_o spiritual_a harm_n lord_n death_n be_v very_o bitter_a unto_o i_o sure_o it_o will_v not_o be_v so_o bitter_a if_o there_o be_v no_o root_n of_o bitterness_n in_o i_o if_o i_o keep_v a_o strict_a communion_n with_o thou_o in_o this_o world_n i_o shall_v long_o for_o a_o full_a communion_n with_o thou_o in_o heaven_n for_o ever_o meditat._n xiii_o alas_o oh_o my_o soul_n may_v not_o i_o just_o spend_v the_o remainder_n of_o my_o day_n in_o sigh_v to_o perceive_v my_o good_a from_o who_o presence_n i_o have_v in_o former_a time_n have_v so_o much_o grace_n and_o comfort_n to_o be_v such_o a_o stranger_n now_o to_o i_o and_o what_o be_v worse_o my_o heart_n so_o senseless_a of_o his_o absence_n the_o time_n have_v be_v when_o my_o heart_n have_v almost_o bleed_v within_o i_o to_o think_v what_o a_o miserable_a condition_n i_o shall_v be_v in_o if_o ever_o it_o shall_v come_v to_o pass_v that_o it_o shall_v be_v thus_o lord_n why_o do_v thou_o absent_v thyself_o from_o my_o poor_a soul_n if_o i_o be_v in_o a_o desertion_n of_o comfort_n i_o be_v in_o a_o far_o better_a condition_n but_o to_o be_v in_o a_o desertion_n of_o grace_n and_o not_o to_o be_v trouble_v be_v a_o sad_a condition_n me_n think_v i_o see_v my_o stock_n of_o grace_n grow_v weak_a and_o weak_a and_o more_o and_o more_o to_o languish_v as_o one_o that_o be_v die_v the_o pulse_n grow_v weak_a and_o weak_a until_o at_o last_o it_o be_v no_o more_o o_o lord_n what_o to_o say_v i_o do_v not_o know_v alas_o i_o can_v but_o call_v and_o cry_v &_o pray_v lord_n if_o ever_o thou_o will_v take_v pity_n upon_o a_o poor_a miserable_a speechless_a sinner_n lord_n if_o thou_o will_v that_o i_o may_v overcome_v lord_n i_o can_v get_v my_o heart_n to_o be_v content_a to_o be_v damn_v and_o indeed_o since_o then_o i_o must_v eternal_o be_v separate_v from_o thou_o i_o do_v not_o desire_v to_o get_v my_o heart_n to_o be_v content_a but_o to_o struggle_v against_o it_o as_o long_o as_o i_o be_o able_a meditat._n fourteen_o to_o have_v satan_n and_o corruption_n come_v and_o beset_v i_o as_o soon_o as_o i_o awake_v and_o to_o follow_v i_o all_o the_o day_n long_o and_o go_v to_o bed_n with_o i_o and_o to_o keep_v i_o wake_v to_o have_v no_o respite_n be_v a_o sad_a condition_n when_o i_o shall_v awake_v with_o my_o god_n my_o good_a god_n who_o keep_v i_o and_o watch_v over_o i_o while_o i_o sleep_v to_o have_v satan_n stand_v ready_a and_o hold_v his_o temptation_n before_o my_o eye_n which_o way_n soever_o i_o look_v and_o to_o prevail_v so_o far_o with_o i_o as_o at_o last_o to_o make_v i_o scarce_o to_o hate_v the_o sin_n he_o tempt_v i_o to_o i_o feel_v in_o my_o spiritual_a part_n a_o utter_a abhor_v of_o the_o sin_n i_o will_v give_v ten_o thousand_o world_n rather_o than_o commit_v the_o sin_n and_o yet_o i_o have_v much_o ado_n to_o refrain_v alas_o can_v my_o secure_a soul_n live_v meditat._n xv._n i_o be_o in_o such_o a_o wretched_a temper_n as_o to_o be_v willing_a to_o offend_v my_o god_n and_o when_o i_o go_v about_o to_o grieve_v sorrow_n be_v far_o from_o i_o nay_o the_o grief_n which_o sometime_o i_o feel_v be_v not_o strong_a enough_o to_o conquer_v the_o temptation_n when_o tear_n stand_v in_o my_o eye_n to_o consider_v the_o miserable_a condition_n of_o my_o soul_n in_o be_v so_o proâ—e_v to_o sin_n the_o temptation_n increase_v to_o hear_v one_o of_o thy_o servant_n groan_v under_o thy_o hand_n and_o then_o to_o stand_v parly_v with_o temptation_n and_o not_o rather_o be_v afraid_a that_o the_o same_o affliction_n etc._n etc._n lord_n i_o be_o in_o thy_o hand_n for_o affliction_n lay_v what_o thou_o will_v upon_o i_o i_o must_v bear_v it_o and_o i_o will_v bear_v it_o patient_o nay_o lord_n though_o this_o temptation_n be_v such_o a_o unwelcome_a guest_n and_o i_o be_o two_o weary_a of_o it_o yet_o so_o thou_o will_v give_v i_o grace_n to_o overcome_v my_o impatience_n i_o be_o content_a lord_n as_o much_o as_o i_o can_v but_o alas_o my_o god_n to_o have_v satan_n my_o companion_n instead_o of_o my_o god_n i_o hope_v will_v never_o be_v please_v to_o i_o meditat._v xvi_o lord_n what_o vain_a heart_n think_v of_o thou_o it_o matter_n not_o except_o it_o be_v to_o discover_v the_o wretchedness_n of_o it_o thou_o have_v more_o glorious_a creature_n to_o praise_v thou_o my_o praise_n and_o my_o thought_n of_o thou_o be_v so_o low_a and_o so_o unworthy_a of_o thou_o that_o thou_o may_v forbid_v i_o as_o thou_o do_v the_o devil_n to_o confess_v thou_o or_o to_o say_v any_o thing_n of_o thou_o my_o dear_a god_n if_o a_o world_n will_v buy_v it_o for_o one_o such_o sight_n of_o thou_o as_o may_v so_o ravish_v my_o soul_n that_o i_o may_v never_o more_o see_v any_o beauty_n or_o taste_v any_o sweetness_n in_o any_o thing_n but_o in_o thou_o that_o i_o may_v see_v thou_o with_o open_a face_n that_o i_o may_v be_v transform_v into_o thy_o image_n from_o glory_n to_o glory_n lord_n thou_o be_v still_o beyond_o i_o the_o high_a my_o thought_n be_v of_o thou_o the_o more_o thou_o be_v beyond_o i_o and_o above_o i_o when_o my_o thought_n be_v best_a my_o thought_n be_v lose_v in_o the_o meditation_n of_o thou_o as_o the_o stone_n that_o be_v throw_v into_o the_o calm_a sea_n make_v great_a and_o great_a circle_n but_o can_v never_o reach_v the_o shore_n lord_n i_o be_o content_a i_o may_v be_v lose_v in_o myself_o so_o i_o may_v find_v thou_o lord_n though_o there_o be_v none_o but_o thou_o and_o i_o in_o the_o world_n i_o have_v enough_o nay_o though_o there_o be_v none_o but_o thou_o and_o i_o in_o heaven_n i_o have_v enough_o enough_o though_o i_o have_v nothing_o to_o say_v to_o thou_o but_o what_o i_o have_v say_v a_o thousand_o time_n thou_o be_v my_o god_n my_o saviour_n my_o all_o thou_o be_v he_o who_o my_o soul_n love_v yet_o though_o i_o have_v nothing_o else_o to_o say_v nor_o case_n there_o be_v any_o new_a relish_n yet_o i_o delight_v to_o be_v alone_o with_o thou_o nay_o though_o thou_o say_v nothing_o to_o my_o poor_a soul_n but_o what_o i_o have_v hear_v from_o thou_o yet_o let_v i_o still_o be_v in_o thy_o company_n i_o have_v
such_o continual_a storm_n &_o trouble_v as_o be_v in_o i_o there_o be_v new_a corruption_n appear_v such_o as_o i_o may_v term_v they_o nothing_o so_o fit_o as_o spark_n of_o of_o the_o fire_n of_o hell_n to_o have_v one_o heart_n rise_v against_o god_n when_o the_o continual_a desire_n of_o one_o soul_n and_o prayer_n be_v that_o one_o may_v be_v inflame_v with_o the_o love_n of_o god_n lord_n while_o i_o be_o work_v my_o heart_n to_o a_o serious_a thought_n of_o thou_o endeavour_v to_o have_v my_o heart_n full_a of_o admiration_n of_o thou_o and_o affiance_n in_o thou_o before_o i_o pray_v unto_o thou_o that_o if_o it_o may_v be_v my_o prayer_n may_v be_v as_o a_o arrow_n draw_v up_o to_o the_o head_n but_o when_o i_o go_v about_o to_o pray_v and_o send_v up_o my_o petition_n my_o thought_n of_o thy_o glory_n and_o goodness_n slack_v and_o it_o fare_v with_o i_o oh_o my_o soul_n as_o sometime_o it_o do_v with_o one_o that_o be_v tie_v knot_n when_o one_o have_v pull_v the_o first_o very_o hard_o yet_o it_o slack_v before_o one_o can_v tie_v the_o second_o it_o i_o keep_v but_o a_o strict_a communion_n with_o thou_o and_o do_v as_o thou_o desire_v lord_n why_o shall_v thou_o desire_v we_o always_o to_o be_v with_o thou_o how_o shall_v we_o be_v acquaint_v with_o thou_o far_o more_o than_o we_o be_v and_o if_o we_o know_v thou_o more_o how_o shoould_v we_o love_v thou_o more_o and_o if_o we_o love_v thou_o more_o how_o shall_v we_o know_v thou_o more_o for_o thou_o reveale_v thyself_o to_o they_o that_o love_v thou_o alas_o o_o my_o soul_n why_o shall_v not_o we_o always_o be_v with_o god_n since_o he_o give_v we_o leave_v how_o gracious_a be_v thou_o to_o invite_v such_o sinner_n as_o we_o be_v to_o come_v to_o thou_o for_o thou_o to_o wash_v our_o soul_n clean_o with_o the_o immaculate_a blood_n of_o the_o lord_n jesus_n christ_n alas_o lord_n i_o be_o i_o own_o enemy_n nay_o i_o see_v it_o and_o know_v it_o and_o it_o can_v be_v otherwise_o lord_n i_o be_o so_o tire_v out_o with_o my_o corruption_n that_o i_o be_o even_o weary_a of_o my_o life_n and_o almost_o weary_a of_o my_o duty_n lord_n even_o at_o this_o present_a how_o when_o my_o â—oul_n be_v so_o trouble_v that_o i_o 〈…〉_z be_v ready_a to_o weep_v there_o 〈◊〉_d a_o thought_n of_o a_o poor_a worldly_a business_n into_o my_o soul_n and_o my_o thought_n and_o sorrow_n for_o heavenly_a matter_n be_v go_v meditat._v xxiii_o o_o my_o god_n how_o cold_o without_o love_n how_o doubt_o without_o faith_n do_v i_o call_v thou_o my_o god_n lord_n how_o careless_a be_o i_o in_o thy_o service_n how_o very_o careless_a how_o long_a lord_n holy_a and_o true_a shall_v i_o be_v thus_o lade_v with_o corruption_n nay_o which_o be_v my_o great_a misery_n i_o be_o not_o but_o very_o little_a sensible_a of_o my_o own_o vileness_n that_o make_v i_o that_o i_o do_v not_o hunger_n after_o righteousness_n bless_a lord_n i_o do_v humble_o prostrate_v my_o soul_n before_o thou_o and_o do_v with_o all_o the_o weak_a power_n of_o my_o soul_n importune_v the_o merit_n of_o my_o dear_a saviour_n i_o pray_v thou_o to_o look_v upon_o i_o in_o mercy_n when_o the_o poor_a wound_a man_n that_o go_v from_o jerusalem_n to_o jericho_n lay_v half_a dead_a and_o speechless_a in_o the_o way_n though_o he_o be_v not_o sensible_a of_o his_o misery_n yet_o the_o good_a samaritan_n be_v though_o in_o his_o tongue_n do_v not_o can_v not_o call_v for_o pity_n yet_o his_o wound_n open_v their_o mouth_n wide_a and_o speak_v aloud_o to_o the_o samaritan_n though_o his_o eye_n shed_v no_o tear_n yet_o his_o heart_n weep_v blood_n at_o his_o wound_n and_o move_v compassion_n like_o to_o that_o poor_a wound_a man_n i_o be_o so_o weak_a so_o sick_a that_o i_o be_o scarce_o sensible_a of_o my_o own_o desperate_a condition_n lord_n though_o my_o heart_n be_v not_o full_a of_o love_n it_o be_v full_a of_o wound_n lord_n thou_o know_v my_o misery_n i_o humble_o beseech_v thou_o to_o pity_v i_o not_o according_a to_o my_o prayer_n but_o according_a to_o my_o want_n lord_n that_o i_o do_v not_o desire_v to_o serve_v thou_o that_o i_o do_v not_o hunger_n nor_o thirst_n after_o righteousness_n it_o be_v the_o great_a misery_n that_o i_o have_v meditat._v xxiv_o oh_o how_o terrible_a be_v the_o thought_n of_o death_n to_o i_o be_v it_o not_o so_o much_o for_o want_v of_o faith_n as_o holiness_n and_o indeed_o i_o find_v that_o i_o can_v never_o with_o comfort_n think_v on_o death_n but_o when_o i_o have_v live_v very_o holy_o before_o for_o what_o will_v faith_n in_o that_o case_n help_v i_o without_o holiness_n for_o faith_n without_o holiness_n be_v not_o faith_n but_o presumption_n oh_o how_o sweet_a how_o dear_a how_o excellent_a a_o thing_n be_v holiness_n oh_o how_o full_a of_o peace_n and_o joy_n be_v my_o soul_n when_o i_o be_o full_a of_o that_o and_o yet_o lord_n how_o careless_a be_o i_o of_o thy_o service_n how_o many_o time_n in_o the_o day_n when_o i_o may_v think_v of_o thou_o without_o any_o hindrance_n of_o my_o study_n do_v i_o choose_v rather_o to_o think_v of_o vanity_n o_o wean_v my_o soul_n o_o god_n from_o every_o thing_n that_o be_v not_o thou_o fill_v my_o heart_n with_o thyself_o dwell_v in_o i_o my_o dear_a god_n why_o do_v i_o call_v thou_o dear_a when_o i_o prefer_v every_o trifle_n before_o thou_o o_o most_o glorious_a lord_n god_n who_o ten_o thousand_o world_n can_v sufficient_o praise_v nor_o love_n which_o be_v thyself_o and_o can_v be_v no_o more_o nor_o can_v be_v no_o less_o how_o easy_a lord_n be_v it_o for_o thou_o to_o change_v my_o heart_n my_o heart_n of_o stone_n for_o a_o heart_n of_o flesh_n lord_n as_o long_o as_o i_o have_v this_o heart_n of_o stone_n there_o be_v no_o hope_n that_o i_o shall_v serve_v thou_o with_o any_o cheerfulness_n or_o any_o constancy_n lord_n hear_v my_o prayer_n meditat._v xxv_o o_o bless_a god_n if_o the_o way_n of_o thy_o providence_n be_v such_o that_o thou_o will_v not_o give_v so_o much_o grace_n as_o to_o make_v i_o through_o the_o abundance_n of_o it_o almost_o whether_o i_o will_v or_o no_o to_o serve_v thou_o yet_o to_o who_o thou_o do_v give_v so_o much_o grace_n as_o to_o desire_v more_o grace_n o_o let_v not_o this_o desire_n which_o be_v of_o thy_o own_o infuse_v be_v in_o vain_a if_o there_o be_v any_o thing_n in_o the_o whole_a world_n that_o i_o desire_v more_o than_o thy_o grace_n then_o let_v i_o want_v grace_n to_o desire_v it_o any_o more_o lord_n if_o the_o reason_n why_o thou_o deny_v my_o prayer_n be_v because_o i_o do_v not_o desire_v as_o i_o ought_v i_o humble_o beseech_v thou_o to_o grant_v that_o i_o ask_v aright_o alas_o my_o affliction_n lie_v heavy_a on_o i_o then_o ever_o they_o do_v and_o i_o be_o more_o wicked_a or_o at_o least_o less_o holy_a than_o ever_o since_o my_o conversion_n i_o be_v how_o little_a be_o i_o affect_v with_o any_o thing_n that_o belong_v to_o thy_o service_n nor_o yet_o do_v it_o affect_v i_o that_o i_o be_o not_o affect_v lord_n if_o there_o be_v any_o in_o heaven_n or_o in_o earth_n that_o can_v help_v i_o beside_o thou_o then_o consider_v my_o manifold_a sin_n i_o shall_v i_o but_o lord_n i_o will_v not_o thy_o mercy_n be_v so_o great_a go_v to_o any_o other_o now_o lord_n now_o be_v the_o time_n to_o have_v mercy_n upon_o i_o i_o be_o like_o the_o man_n that_o go_v from_o jerusalem_n to_o jericho_n wound_v naked_a and_o half_a dead_a i_o can_v call_v for_o help_v o_o let_v my_o wound_n move_v thou_o to_o compassion_n if_o i_o can_v bewail_v my_o sinful_a misery_n with_o tear_n of_o repentance_n i_o know_v thou_o will_v deliver_v i_o but_o i_o can_v weep_v nay_o hardly_o mourn_v oh_o saint_n faint_a be_v my_o grief_n and_o cold_a be_v my_o love_n what_o will_v thou_o do_v lord_n with_o one_o that_o scarce_o from_o his_o heart_n desire_v to_o serve_v thou_o alas_o what_o can_v thou_o do_v for_o i_o more_o or_o less_o then_o to_o make_v i_o desire_v to_o serve_v thou_o accept_v i_o must_v or_o for_o ever_o be_v lose_v what_o a_o low_a degree_n of_o goodness_n be_o i_o come_v unto_o a_o soul_n full_a of_o sadness_n and_o empty_a of_o goodness_n to_o morrow_n lord_n i_o be_o to_o receive_v thou_o into_o my_o soul_n thou_o my_o bless_a saviour_n lord_n thou_o know_v i_o do_v not_o use_v to_o have_v a_o heart_n so_o empty_a of_o goodness_n when_o i_o expect_v thou_o to_o come_v next_o day_n meditat._n xxvi_o lord_n now_o i_o do_v resolve_v to_o serve_v thou_o and_o in_o this_o particular_a especial_o i_o will_v not_o speak_v evil_a of_o any_o
man_n what_o injury_n soever_o he_o do_v i_o now_o i_o will_v so_o watch_v over_o my_o word_n that_o i_o will_v not_o offend_v with_o my_o tongue_n and_o that_o by_o degree_n i_o may_v attain_v some_o perfection_n herein_o i_o here_o vow_v every_o week_n between_o this_o and_o the_o next_o communion_n to_o keep_v one_o day_n so_o strict_o that_o i_o will_v not_o during_o that_o day_n speak_v so_o much_o as_o one_o idle_a word_n that_o day_n if_o i_o do_v i_o will_v give_v to_o the_o poor_a lord_n how_o excellent_a be_v thy_o service_n so_o pure_a so_o sweet_a o_o that_o there_o be_v such_o a_o heart_n in_o i_o that_o i_o may_v for_o ever_o serve_v thou_o meditat._v xxvii_o when_o i_o read_v the_o story_n of_o the_o martyr_n i_o do_v wish_v that_o i_o have_v live_v in_o those_o day_n that_o i_o may_v also_o die_v as_o they_o do_v or_o methinks_v i_o can_v now_o willing_o lay_v down_o my_o life_n rather_o than_o yield_v to_o the_o abominable_a idolatry_n and_o superstition_n of_o the_o sea_n of_o rome_n but_o when_o i_o search_v &_o try_v my_o heart_n i_o much_o fear_v that_o the_o reason_n of_o this_o my_o desire_n be_v because_o i_o think_v it_o easy_a to_o lay_v down_o my_o life_n for_o christ_n sake_n then_o for_o his_o sake_n to_o overcome_v my_o corruption_n for_o it_o be_v but_o one_o act_n though_o it_o have_v more_o pain_n yet_o be_v but_o of_o small_a continuance_n it_o be_v less_o trouble_n than_o all_o my_o life_n long_o to_o fight_v against_o sin_n and_o thus_o i_o do_v ill_a even_o in_o my_o best_a wish_n in_o divers_a respect_n for_o i_o choose_v martyrdom_n not_o because_o thereby_o i_o may_v more_o honour_n god_n but_o that_o i_o may_v the_o soon_o and_o easy_o come_v to_o heaven_n and_o again_o that_o i_o think_v i_o may_v content_v myself_o though_o i_o do_v not_o so_o much_o hate_v corruption_n if_o i_o die_v a_o martyr_n all_o will_v be_v well_o whereas_o though_o i_o give_v my_o body_n to_o be_v burn_v and_o have_v not_o charity_n it_o will_v profit_v nothing_o and_o to_o love_n god_n it_o be_v impossible_a for_o he_o that_o do_v not_o hate_n and_o fight_v against_o his_o corruption_n alas_o o_o my_o soul_n how_o weary_a be_v we_o of_o our_o spiritual_a fight_n and_o we_o will_v fain_o find_v some_o other_o way_n to_o heaven_n then_o by_o the_o continuance_n of_o it_o o_o that_o i_o be_v dead_a to_o the_o world_n yet_o while_o we_o know_v something_o better_o we_o shall_v not_o think_v so_o we_o talk_v much_o of_o the_o vanity_n of_o the_o world_n but_o who_o believe_v that_o the_o world_n be_v vanity_n and_o vexation_n of_o spirit_n or_o who_o be_v sensible_a of_o this_o truth_n or_o if_o he_o be_v sensible_a of_o it_o and_o sometime_o affect_v with_o it_o yet_o it_o soon_o wanish_v and_o we_o do_v not_o live_v according_o how_o much_o easy_a be_v it_o to_o speak_v like_o a_o angel_n then_o live_v like_o a_o saint_n meditat._n xxviii_o lord_n that_o thou_o will_v do_v it_o for_o i_o take_v my_o soul_n and_o my_o body_n what_o shall_v i_o do_v with_o they_o any_o long_o i_o govern_v they_o so_o ill_o and_o indeed_o be_o so_o unable_a to_o govern_v they_o that_o they_o govern_v i_o lord_n if_o thou_o shall_v condemn_v i_o at_o the_o last_o day_n i_o do_v now_o justify_v thou_o and_o testify_v to_o all_o the_o world_n that_o thou_o be_v just_a though_o then_o if_o such_o a_o time_n shall_v come_v i_o shall_v blaspheme_v thou_o my_o dear_a god_n i_o have_v yet_o a_o spark_n of_o thy_o love_n i_o will_v not_o leave_v that_o small_a hold_n of_o thou_o for_o ten_o thousand_o world_n i_o know_v lord_n there_o be_v no_o dally_v with_o thou_o what_o if_o i_o speak_v with_o the_o tongue_n and_o write_v with_o the_o pen_n of_o man_n and_o angel_n it_o be_v nothing_o lord_n take_v a_o poor_a soul_n at_o his_o word_n lord_n i_o be_o thou_o and_o do_v now_o give_v myself_o and_o ten_o thousand_o world_n if_o i_o have_v they_o to_o thou_o yet_o when_o thou_o do_v take_v from_o i_o some_o poor_a part_n of_o my_o estate_n i_o murmur_v alas_o i_o have_v a_o poor_a weak_a heart_n meditat._v xxix_o lord_n my_o knowledge_n of_o thou_o be_v but_o small_a and_o that_o which_o be_v be_v but_o little_a spiritual_a or_o experimental_a to_o know_v thou_o by_o what_o other_o write_v and_o say_v of_o thou_o be_v sweet_a to_o they_o that_o can_v set_v their_o seal_n to_o it_o from_o their_o own_o experience_n lord_n what_o be_v it_o that_o have_v keep_v i_o so_o long_o from_o thou_o or_o keep_v thou_o so_o long_o from_o i_o i_o know_v that_o i_o have_v be_v want_v to_o thou_o and_o to_o myself_o lord_n take_v my_o heart_n i_o have_v too_o much_o love_n for_o any_o beside_o thou_o though_o i_o have_v too_o little_a for_o thou_o oh_o how_o sweet_a be_v the_o thought_n of_o thou_o and_o will_v be_v sweet_a if_o i_o think_v often_o and_o long_o and_o more_o attentive_o of_o thou_o alas_o i_o be_o almost_o grow_v out_o of_o acquaintance_n with_o thou_o i_o do_v not_o perceive_v my_o corruption_n in_o any_o thing_n more_o than_o in_o this_o that_o though_o to_o think_v of_o thou_o be_v a_o thing_n so_o easy_a and_o so_o profitable_a yet_o i_o think_v so_o seldom_o my_o dear_a god_n deliver_v i_o from_o the_o business_n of_o the_o world_n suit_n of_o law_n and_o such_o thing_n they_o undo_v i_o they_o take_v up_o my_o thought_n that_o i_o can_v be_v rid_v of_o they_o i_o feel_v upon_o i_o the_o curse_n which_o thou_o threaten_v upon_o the_o people_n of_o israel_n if_o they_o will_v not_o serve_v thou_o with_o joy_n they_o shall_v serve_v stranger_n with_o a_o great_a deal_n of_o hardship_n i_o be_v well_o while_o i_o be_v with_o thou_o than_o i_o have_v my_o song_n in_o the_o night_n now_o my_o day_n be_v turn_v into_o the_o shadow_n of_o death_n lord_n draw_v i_o draw_v i_o make_v the_o cord_n of_o thy_o love_n strong_a or_o rather_o than_o i_o shall_v perish_v make_v the_o cord_n of_o thy_o affliction_n strong_a and_o if_o i_o murmur_v scourge_v i_o while_o i_o leave_v murmur_v how_o true_a do_v i_o find_v that_o say_n he_o that_o injure_v forgive_v not_o my_o wickedness_n i_o have_v commit_v against_o thou_o make_v i_o not_o able_a to_o believe_v almost_o that_o thou_o be_v or_o can_v be_v reconcile_v unto_o i_o when_o i_o shall_v do_v more_o for_o thou_o and_o less_o against_o thou_o i_o shall_v easy_o believe_v thy_o love_n or_o rather_o when_o thy_o spirit_n shall_v shed_v abroad_o thy_o love_n in_o my_o heart_n i_o shall_v know_v thou_o love_v i_o i_o sigh_v and_o mourn_v and_o weep_v over_o my_o poor_a soul_n but_o can_v help_v it_o dear_a lord_n let_v my_o tear_n prevail_v with_o thou_o pity_v pity_n have_v pity_n upon_o a_o poor_a languish_a soul_n that_o be_v even_o gasp_v out_o his_o last_o breath_n it_o grieve_v i_o to_o see_v what_o a_o sad_a condition_n i_o be_o in_o i_o be_o not_o yet_o in_o hell_n and_o by_o thy_o mercy_n i_o may_v never_o come_v thither_o but_o i_o be_o run_v thither_o woe_n be_v i_o that_o i_o be_o constrain_v to_o live_v in_o mesech_n and_o to_o have_v my_o habitation_n in_o the_o tent_n of_o kedar_n meditat._v xxx_o lord_n i_o pray_v for_o mercy_n and_o when_o i_o have_v they_o to_o see_v the_o unsuitableness_n of_o my_o spirit_n to_o they_o and_o my_o unthankfulness_n for_o they_o bring_v more_o sadness_n upon_o i_o then_o to_o want_v they_o all_o the_o thing_n i_o beg_v of_o thou_o for_o temporal_a mercy_n both_o in_o carry_v i_o forth_o and_o bring_v i_o home_o and_o concern_v my_o business_n i_o go_v about_o not_o find_v thing_n in_o such_o a_o sad_a condition_n at_o home_n yet_o my_o poor_a heart_n be_v the_o same_o still_o and_o be_v as_o hard_o and_o as_o stony_a not_o willing_a to_o yield_v itself_o and_o all_o up_o to_o thou_o as_o if_o i_o be_v more_o able_a to_o order_v matter_n than_o thou_o now_o my_o heart_n be_v subject_a to_o murmur_v that_o it_o be_v so_o hard_a when_o it_o shall_v mourn_v lord_n thou_o have_v do_v enough_o to_o justify_v thy_o love_n and_o thy_o tender_a compassion_n to_o i_o if_o thou_o shall_v never_o do_v more_o and_o not_o only_o thy_o justice_n can_v not_o be_v blame_v but_o not_o thy_o mercy_n medit._fw-la xxxi_o accept_v of_o my_o poor_a prayer_n and_o when_o at_o the_o last_o day_n when_o the_o secret_n of_o all_o heart_n shall_v be_v know_v the_o hypocrisy_n and_o cold_a and_o my_o desire_n shall_v be_v know_v and_o thy_o goodness_n shall_v be_v admire_v in_o hear_v such_o prayer_n as_o i_o be_v for_o the_o light_n of_o thy_o countenance_n to_o shine_v upon_o and_o the_o breathe_n
the_o multitude_n of_o thy_o tender_a compassion_n and_o thy_o free_a grace_n in_o jesus_n christ_n to_o fly_v unto_o lord_n lay_v my_o sin_n home_o to_o i_o to_o humble_v i_o and_o to_o break_v my_o stony_a heart_n but_o lay_v they_o not_o to_o my_o charge_n to_o condemn_v i_o if_o thou_o have_v not_o in_o thy_o word_n promise_v forgiveness_n to_o sinner_n through_o jesus_n christ_n i_o can_v no_o more_o hope_n to_o obtain_v pardon_n than_o ever_o the_o devil_n themselves_o resolution_n it_o be_v enough_o o_o my_o soul_n and_o too_o too_o much_o that_o we_o have_v be_v undo_v ourselves_o and_o provoke_a god_n thus_o long_o that_o we_o have_v as_o it_o be_v with_o all_o our_o power_n pull_v down_o the_o vengeance_n of_o god_n upon_o we_o and_o as_o it_o be_v kindle_v his_o wrath_n against_o we_o but_o he_o have_v not_o suffer_v his_o whole_a displeasure_n to_o arise_v nor_o suffer_v we_o to_o perish_v though_o we_o will_v bless_v be_v his_o name_n that_o we_o have_v not_o commit_v the_o sin_n against_o the_o holy_a ghost_n which_o we_o certain_o have_v do_v have_v he_o give_v we_o up_o to_o the_o strength_n of_o our_o own_o corruption_n and_o to_o the_o power_n and_o malice_n of_o satan_n to_o improve_v they_o to_o our_o destruction_n be_v it_o true_a indeed_o that_o god_n say_v yet_o return_v and_o i_o will_v save_v thou_o do_v he_o stand_v with_o stretch_a out_o arm_n do_v he_o indeed_o stand_v with_o stretch_a out_o arm_n to_o embrace_v we_o be_v it_o possible_a he_o shall_v be_v so_o gracious_a to_o forgive_v such_o and_o so_o many_o sin_n and_o of_o such_o long_a continuance_n well_o bless_a be_v god_n we_o will_v go_v unto_o he_o and_o never_o offend_v he_o more_o we_o will_v hereafter_o whensoever_o we_o be_v tempt_v unto_o sin_n say_v what_o sin_n against_o such_o love_n such_o mercy_n such_o experience_n offend_v that_o god_n that_o have_v pardon_v we_o that_o have_v do_v such_o thing_n for_o we_o and_o be_v not_o content_a with_o that_o but_o have_v promise_v to_o do_v more_o i_o will_v not_o hereafter_o stand_v parly_v with_o temptation_n but_o i_o will_v cry_v out_o unto_o god_n and_o say_v lord_n help_v i_o for_o i_o suffer_v violence_n and_o in_o particular_a i_o be_o in_o some_o measure_n sensible_a that_o i_o pray_v not_o with_o that_o fervency_n and_o reverénce_n as_o i_o ought_v to_o do_v for_o the_o time_n to_o come_v i_o shall_v by_o the_o blessing_n of_o god_n mend_v that_o i_o be_o too_o passionate_a well_o since_o god_n have_v be_v so_o gracious_a as_o to_o forgive_v so_o many_o so_o great_a so_o grievous_a sin_n that_o my_o own_o heart_n be_v not_o able_a to_o understand_v their_o vileness_n or_o number_n i_o will_v not_o hereafter_o be_v trouble_v when_o i_o hear_v my_o neighbour_n or_o underling_n or_o when_o i_o hear_v my_o fellow_n n._n use_v such_o or_o such_o taunt_a word_n against_o i_o i_o will_v not_o be_v provoke_v by_o this_o or_o that_o despite_n or_o contemptuous_a trick_n that_o he_o or_o she_o do_v use_v against_o i_o but_o rather_o i_o will_v endeavour_v to_o say_v or_o do_v such_o a_o thing_n to_o gain_v his_o good_a will_n and_o to_o pacify_v his_o anger_n conceive_v against_o i_o for_o certain_o his_o injury_n be_v not_o comparable_a to_o my_o sin_n and_o yet_o god_n forgive_v i_o they_o there_o be_v a_o difference_n between_o i._o n._n and_o i_o i_o be_o resolve_v i_o will_v go_v to_o he_o and_o be_v reconcile_v this_o very_a day_n or_o if_o i_o can_v i_o will_v pray_v for_o he_o and_o speak_v well_o of_o he_o this_o very_a day_n if_o i_o have_v occasion_n to_o speak_v of_o he_o at_o all_o howsoever_o i_o will_v pray_v for_o he_o now_o conclusion_n 1._o pray_v desire_v god_n that_o he_o will_v increase_v thy_o detestation_n of_o sin_n and_o that_o thou_o may_v as_o well_o hate_v sin_n as_o leave_v sin_n and_o that_o he_o will_v not_o let_v any_o spark_n that_o have_v be_v kindle_v by_o his_o own_o spirit_n go_v out_o in_o thou_o say_v unto_o he_o lord_n i_o do_v not_o beg_v riches_n i_o can_v go_v to_o heaven_n without_o they_o please_v thou_o without_o they_o but_o i_o beg_v of_o thou_o grace_n and_o strength_n against_o corruption_n pardon_v of_o sin_n if_o thou_o deny_v i_o these_o i_o be_o undo_v 2._o praise_v god_n bless_a be_v thy_o name_n that_o my_o heart_n have_v be_v in_o any_o measure_n affect_v with_o the_o hatred_n of_o sin_n that_o i_o have_v in_o any_o measure_n know_v and_o consider_v the_o thing_n that_o belong_v to_o my_o peace_n thou_o may_v have_v suffer_v i_o to_o drop_v into_o hell_n and_o never_o to_o have_v think_v of_o it_o before_o i_o have_v be_v there_o but_o thou_o have_v not_o deal_v so_o with_o i_o 3._o acknowledge_v thy_o one_o unworthiness_n of_o so_o great_a patience_n as_o god_n have_v exercise_v towards_o thou_o thy_o inability_n to_o think_v any_o of_o those_o good_a thought_n that_o thou_o have_v have_v etc._n etc._n as_o in_o the_o first_o meditation_n after_o all_o think_v what_o passage_n most_o affect_v thou_o 2._o write_v down_o thy_o resolution_n etc._n etc._n 3._o go_v unwilling_o from_o the_o duty_n meditat._n iv._o of_o death_n 1._o be_v convince_v of_o and_o affect_v with_o the_o presence_n of_o god_n 2._o pray_v for_o his_o assistance_n consideration_n 1._o can_v thou_o not_o remember_v that_o thou_o be_v by_o such_o a_o one_o when_o he_o die_v do_v thou_o not_o see_v how_o his_o countenance_n fail_v his_o eyestring_n break_v how_o he_o grow_v weak_a and_o weak_a at_o last_o grow_v speechless_a how_o he_o throttle_v in_o the_o throat_n how_o his_o tooth_n grate_v how_o he_o sweat_v and_o struggle_v for_o life_n and_o at_o last_o gasp_v and_o die_v consider_v that_o thus_o thou_o must_v do_v likewise_o how_o soon_o the_o lord_n only_o know_v that_o thou_o be_v well_o now_o be_v nothing_o that_o thou_o be_v young_a and_o strong_a now_o be_v nothing_o for_o how_o many_o be_v there_o that_o have_v be_v strong_a and_o well_o and_o as_o young_a as_o thou_o within_o a_o very_a few_o day_n after_o have_v be_v in_o their_o grave_n that_o thou_o must_v die_v be_v certain_a when_o where_o how_o none_o know_v but_o he_o that_o make_v thou_o only_o this_o be_v true_a that_o general_o man_n die_v soon_o than_o they_o expect_v 2._o consider_v that_o there_o will_v be_v a_o end_n of_o the_o world_n as_o to_o thou_o thou_o must_v leave_v riches_n friend_n wife_n child_n house_n land_n and_o thy_o one_o body_n also_o thy_o friend_n may_v stand_v weep_v by_o but_o they_o can_v prolong_v thy_o life_n one_o minute_n 3._o consider_v that_o when_o thou_o come_v to_o die_v it_o will_v certain_o not_o repent_v thou_o that_o thou_o have_v spend_v so_o much_o time_n in_o prayer_n so_o much_o in_o meditation_n so_o much_o in_o holy_a duty_n it_o be_v never_o know_v since_o the_o world_n begin_v that_o any_o one_o do_v then_o say_v o_o that_o i_o have_v pray_v less_o though_o these_o holy_a duty_n now_o seem_v irksome_a and_o troublesome_a to_o thou_o doubtless_o than_o they_o shall_v bring_v more_o comfort_n to_o thou_o than_o all_o those_o riches_n and_o vanity_n in_o which_o thou_o have_v spend_v so_o much_o time_n and_o take_v so_o much_o delight_n in_o these_o thing_n be_v certain_a and_o infallible_a our_o understanding_n can_v o_o that_o our_o life_n do_v not_o deny_v they_o consider_v how_o that_o the_o dear_a friend_n thou_o have_v in_o the_o world_n will_v hasten_v thy_o filthy_a carcase_n out_o of_o the_o door_n they_o will_v scarce_o dare_v to_o stay_v with_o it_o alone_o but_o say_v as_o abraham_n do_v let_v i_o bury_v my_o dead_a out_o of_o my_o sight_n and_o then_o how_o seldom_o will_v they_o think_v or_o speak_v of_o thou_o or_o if_o they_o do_v what_o good_a will_v it_o do_v thou_o 5._o consider_v alas_o poor_a man_n whether_o will_v thy_o soul_n go_v then_o to_o hell_n or_o to_o heaven_n do_v thou_o know_v to_o which_o do_v thou_o not_o think_v thou_o shall_v go_v that_o way_n which_o thou_o have_v go_v all_o thy_o life_n long_o if_o thou_o have_v walk_v in_o the_o way_n of_o hell_n how_o can_v thou_o imagine_v that_o at_o the_o end_n of_o that_o journey_n thou_o shall_v arrive_v at_o heaven_n 6._o consider_v what_o good_a will_v all_o thy_o wealth_n all_o thy_o pleasure_n all_o thy_o vanity_n do_v thou_o at_o that_o day_n they_o will_v all_o vanish_v as_o do_v the_o morning_n dew_n alas_o who_o know_v not_o all_o these_o thing_n and_o yet_o not_o one_o of_o a_o thousand_o consider_v and_o lay_v they_o to_o heart_n and_o to_o know_v these_o truth_n &_o live_v unsuitable_o to_o they_o do_v but_o add_v to_o our_o folly_n &_o madness_n o_o that_o they_o be_v wise_a say_v god_n
of_o sin_n but_o when_o god_n shall_v appear_v like_o himself_o how_o shall_v those_o sin_n that_o man_n now_o make_v light_n of_o make_v they_o run_v mad_a with_o despair_n 3._o consider_v o_o my_o soul_n that_o those_o excuse_n that_o now_o quiet_v thou_o will_v not_o serve_v at_o that_o day_n nay_o thou_o will_v be_v ashamed_a to_o own_v they_o 4._o consider_v how_o strict_a a_o account_n god_n will_v require_v of_o thou_o at_o that_o day_n if_o only_o thy_o grosser_n abomination_n that_o be_v odious_a in_o the_o sight_n of_o all_o man_n shall_v be_v bring_v to_o judgement_n but_o the_o small_a sin_n that_o ever_o thou_o commit_v every_o idle_a word_n and_o every_o vam_v think_v the_o very_a ground_n manner_n and_o end_v of_o thy_o most_o holy_a performance_n shall_v then_o appear_v more_o dreadful_o sinful_a then_o now_o the_o most_o cry_a sin_n that_o ever_o thou_o commit_v do_v 5._o consider_v that_o every_o one_o o_o thy_o thought_n word_n and_o action_n whether_o good_a or_o evil_n shall_v be_v bring_v to_o judgement_n even_o thy_o most_o secret_a and_o unknown_a sin_n to_o thyself_o or_o other_o consider_v o_o my_o soul_n what_o shame_n and_o confusion_n will_v cover_v thou_o at_o that_o day_n do_v thou_o not_o remember_v what_o at_o such_o and_o such_o a_o time_n thou_o do_v in_o secret_a suppose_v all_o those_o sin_n that_o ever_o thou_o commit_v in_o private_a shall_v be_v know_v to_o all_o in_o england_n or_o shall_v be_v write_v on_o thy_o forehead_n that_o all_o that_o see_v thou_o may_v read_v they_o will_v thou_o not_o be_v ashamed_a to_o come_v into_o any_o company_n but_o what_o be_v this_o â—o_o that_o which_o shall_v be_v at_o that_o day_n when_o all_o thy_o secret_a sin_n shall_v be_v publish_v before_o all_o man_n angel_n and_o god_n himself_o these_o be_v not_o invention_n of_o man_n to_o terrify_v thou_o but_o truth_n of_o god_n to_o reform_v thou_o 6._o consider_v how_o full_o and_o â—â—â—rly_o thou_o shall_v be_v convince_v that_o day_n of_o thy_o sin_n those_o with_o who_o thou_o have_v commit_v they_o will_v witness_v against_o thou_o thy_o dear_v friend_n that_o thou_o have_v in_o the_o world_n must_v and_o will_v testify_v against_o thou_o nay_o satan_n that_o tempt_v thou_o to_o those_o sin_n and_o god_n that_o or_o bid_v thou_o those_o sin_n nay_o â—ine_o own_o conscience_n which_o â—hen_o will_v as_o perfect_o remember_v â—very_n sin_n with_o its_o aggravate_v circumstance_n as_o if_o it_o be_v but_o â—hen_o commit_v will_v be_v a_o swift_a witness_n against_o thou_o this_o will_v be_v that_o worm_n that_o die_v not_o a_o clamorous_a and_o a_o wound_a conscience_n be_v insupportable_a even_o in_o this_o life_n but_o neither_o be_v the_o clamour_n so_o loud_o nor_o the_o wound_n so_o deep_a and_o pestilent_a as_o they_o will_v be_v 7._o consider_v the_o dreadful_a sentence_n of_o condemnation_n that_o god_n will_v pass_v upon_o the_o wicked_a viz._n go_v you_o curse_v into_o everlasting_a fire_n prepare_v for_o the_o devil_n and_o his_o angel_n wicked_a man_n know_v not_o now_o what_o it_o be_v to_o depart_v from_o god_n but_o than_o they_o shall_v know_v for_o god_n before_o man_n and_o angel_n in_o fury_n pour_v out_o to_o bid_v they_o be_v go_v and_o call_v they_o curse_a wretch_n who_o know_v the_o horror_n oâ—_n it_o if_o the_o wrath_n of_o a_o king_n be_v as_o thâ—_n roar_v of_o a_o lion_n what_o will_v thâ—_n wrath_n of_o god_n be_v consider_v further_o that_o word_n be_v everlasting_a fire_n and_o eternity_n how_o dread_v art_n thou_o further_a to_o have_v such_o miserable_a companion_n as_o devil_n the_o devil_n shall_v appear_v to_o thou_o when_o thou_o be_v alone_o how_o can_v thou_o bear_v it_o 8._o consider_v the_o sweet_a sentence_n that_o shall_v pass_v from_o the_o gracious_a mouth_n of_o christ_n to_o his_o people_n viz._n come_v you_o bless_v of_o my_o father_n inherit_v the_o kingdom_n prepare_v for_o you_o from_o the_o foundation_n of_o the_o world_n and_o how_o sweet_a will_v those_o word_n be_v when_o in_o the_o midst_n of_o all_o their_o fear_n and_o trouble_n the_o righteous_a shall_v hear_v the_o sentence_n of_o absolution_n what_o abundance_n of_o comfort_n have_v the_o people_n of_o god_n when_o god_n manifest_v and_o give_v they_o his_o love_n even_o in_o this_o life_n and_o seal_v they_o to_o the_o day_n of_o redemption_n and_o let_v they_o see_v their_o name_n write_v in_o the_o book_n of_o life_n give_v they_o full_a assurance_n that_o he_o be_v they_o and_o they_o be_v he_o but_o alas_o all_o those_o joy_n may_v not_o be_v compare_v to_o these_o the_o testimony_n of_o our_o own_o conscience_n and_o the_o witness_v of_o the_o spirit_n the_o manifestation_n of_o his_o love_n and_o the_o smile_n of_o his_o countenance_n be_v not_o so_o clear_a so_o full_a so_o last_v as_o they_o shall_v then_o be_v no_o more_o to_o be_v compare_v to_o they_o than_o the_o light_n of_o the_o sun_n be_v to_o that_o of_o a_o spark_n of_o fire_n for_o christ_n to_o call_v we_o bless_v be_v more_o than_o for_o all_o the_o world_n and_o for_o all_o the_o angel_n in_o heaven_n to_o call_v we_o so_o doubtless_o it_o do_v exceed_o affect_v daniel_n when_o the_o angel_n tell_v he_o that_o he_o be_v great_o belove_v dan._n 9_o 23._o if_o thou_o have_v a_o thousand_o world_n o_o my_o soul_n will_v thou_o not_o give_v all_o for_o this_o that_o god_n will_v say_v so_o to_o thou_o well_o if_o thou_o will_v be_v watchful_a over_o thy_o way_n live_v holy_o love_n and_o believe_v in_o christ_n and_o repent_v the_o day_n will_v short_o come_v when_o christ_n shall_v say_v that_o and_o much_o more_o affection_n and_o resolution_n 1._o tremble_v o_o my_o soul_n when_o thou_o think_v of_o these_o thing_n why_o be_v not_o thou_o exceed_o affect_v with_o the_o thought_n of_o they_o have_v thou_o such_o a_o full_a assurance_n or_o be_v thy_o life_n such_o that_o thou_o need_v not_o fear_v be_v not_o moses_n and_o john_n as_o holy_a as_o thou_o be_v not_o john_n the_o belove_a disciple_n and_o moses_n one_o with_o who_o god_n speak_v face_n to_o face_n and_o yet_o they_o tremble_v o_o my_o soul_n it_o be_v much_o to_o be_v fear_v that_o it_o be_v ignorance_n and_o infidelity_n not_o a_o gospel-assurance_n that_o make_v thou_o so_o senseless_a nay_o it_o be_v infallible_o certain_a that_o whosoever_o live_v wicked_o and_o tremble_v not_o at_o the_o thought_n of_o judgement_n it_o proceed_v from_o a_o conscience_n fear_v with_o a_o hot_a iron_n 2._o admire_v and_o be_v astonish_v at_o the_o miserable_a condition_n of_o all_o those_o that_o live_v without_o god_n in_o the_o world_n such_o be_v all_o they_o that_o repent_v not_o and_o believe_v not_o the_o gospel_n 3._o examine_v and_o try_v thyself_o o_o my_o soul_n let_v we_o judge_v ourselves_o that_o we_o be_v not_o judge_v we_o may_v easy_o know_v what_o question_n shall_v be_v put_v to_o we_o that_o day_n we_o must_v be_v judge_v by_o the_o word_n of_o god_n then_o let_v we_o judge_v ourselves_o by_o it_o now_o do_v we_o indeed_o strive_v to_o enter_v in_o at_o the_o strait_a gate_n may_v that_o which_o we_o do_v in_o the_o service_n of_o god_n be_v true_o call_v strive_v or_o no_o can_v a_o faint_a prayer_n be_v call_v strive_v or_o no_o when_o every_o temptation_n at_o the_o first_o assault_n overcome_v thou_o and_o thou_o fight_v not_o a_o stroke_n be_v this_o strive_n be_v this_o to_o fight_v a_o good_a fight_n and_o resist_n unto_o blood_n do_v we_o think_v that_o god_n at_o the_o day_n of_o judgement_n will_v avouch_v this_o strive_n nay_o can_v your_o own_o conscience_n think_v it_o so_o now_o be_v not_o deceive_v god_n be_v not_o mock_v 4._o pray_v o_o bless_a god_n thou_o that_o be_v the_o great_a and_o just_a judge_n of_o all_o man_n be_v please_v to_o fit_v and_o prepare_v i_o for_o that_o that_o that_o day_n may_v not_o come_v aâ—_n a_o thief_n in_o the_o night_n as_o to_o rob_v i_o of_o all_o my_o comfort_n deal_v with_o i_o how_o it_o seem_v good_a in_o thy_o eye_n afflict_v i_o chastise_v i_o only_o let_v i_o be_v save_v in_o the_o day_n of_o the_o lord_n 5._o o_o my_o soul_n let_v we_o true_o consider_v what_o we_o be_v to_o do_v and_o how_o we_o be_v to_o live_v that_o when_o other_o at_o that_o day_n shall_v call_v to_o the_o hill_n and_o to_o the_o mountain_n to_o fall_v upon_o they_o and_o to_o hide_v they_o from_o the_o wrath_n of_o the_o lamb_n we_o may_v lift_v up_o our_o head_n because_o our_o salvation_n draw_v near_o well_o o_o my_o soul_n i_o read_v in_o the_o word_n of_o god_n that_o the_o neglect_v to_o judge_v ourselves_o and_o the_o judgeing_a of_o other_o be_v two_o sin_n that_o will_v
profit_n and_o pleasure_n so_o much_o to_o be_v value_v as_o for_o they_o to_o dwell_v in_o devour_a fire_n and_o be_v the_o pleasure_n of_o sin_n that_o be_v but_o for_o a_o season_n to_o much_o worth_n that_o for_o they_o we_o shall_v dwell_v in_o everlasting_a burn_n have_v we_o not_o have_v frequent_a experience_n that_o the_o sorrow_n we_o have_v have_v for_o commit_v of_o sin_n have_v far_o exceed_v the_o pleasure_n that_o we_o have_v have_v in_o commit_v of_o it_o and_o sure_o the_o terror_n of_o a_o awaken_v conscience_n be_v not_o to_o be_v compare_v with_o the_o horror_n of_o the_o damn_a and_o other_o insupportable_a and_o endless_a misery_n of_o that_o place_n of_o torment_n come_v o_o my_o soul_n let_v we_o not_o deceive_v and_o flatter_v ourselves_o with_o vain_a and_o false_a hope_n of_o the_o mercy_n of_o god_n it_o be_v true_a god_n be_v very_o merciful_a to_o they_o that_o fear_v he_o and_o we_o may_v be_v sure_a of_o this_o that_o if_o we_o do_v sincere_o desire_v and_o endeavour_v to_o serve_v he_o that_o we_o shall_v find_v his_o mercy_n as_o much_o above_o our_o thought_n and_o expectation_n of_o they_o as_o the_o heaven_n be_v above_o the_o earth_n but_o if_o we_o slight_v they_o and_o be_v careless_a of_o his_o service_n and_o turn_v his_o grace_n into_o wantonness_n let_v we_o not_o deceive_v ourselves_o with_o vain_a word_n for_o because_o of_o these_o thing_n come_v the_o wrath_n of_o god_n upon_o the_o child_n of_o disobedience_n and_o those_o that_o live_v so_o shall_v sure_o find_v that_o at_o that_o day_n the_o mercy_n of_o god_n will_v not_o serve_v at_o all_o to_o mitigate_v but_o abundant_o to_o justify_v the_o wrath_n and_o fury_n of_o god_n that_o he_o shall_v pour_v out_o upon_o the_o wicked_a then_o they_o shall_v pay_v for_o every_o mercy_n they_o have_v receive_v and_o the_o riches_n of_o his_o despise_a goodness_n shall_v but_o increase_v the_o treasure_n of_o his_o wrath_n therefore_o o_o my_o soul_n since_o these_o thing_n be_v so_o what_o be_v we_o to_o do_v why_o do_v we_o not_o fear_v he_o that_o can_v cast_v both_o body_n and_o soul_n into_o hell_n the_o prophet_n habaccue_n when_o he_o do_v but_o think_v but_o of_o some_o temporal_a judgement_n that_o god_n have_v threaten_v rottenness_n enter_v into_o his_o bone_n if_o indeed_o the_o love_n of_o god_n do_v constrain_v we_o so_o that_o we_o do_v from_o a_o principle_n of_o love_n make_v conscience_n of_o sin_n so_o that_o we_o never_o offend_v god_n it_o be_v well_o but_o since_o we_o plain_o find_v that_o it_o be_v not_o strong_a enough_o alone_o let_v we_o not_o fear_v to_o call_v in_o and_o improve_v the_o consideration_n of_o the_o torment_n of_o hell_n to_o defer_v we_o from_o sin_n the_o motive_n be_v imperfect_a but_o not_o sinful_a our_o great_a work_n we_o have_v to_o do_v in_o the_o world_n next_o to_o the_o glory_n of_o god_n be_v to_o avoid_v hell_n and_o obtain_v heaven_n and_o to_o resist_v our_o now_o three_o great_a enemy_n the_o world_n the_o flesh_n and_o the_o devil_n who_o endeavour_n day_n and_o night_n to_o drive_v we_o headlong_o into_o perdition_n if_o any_o one_o in_o the_o world_n much_o more_o if_o the_o devil_n shall_v appear_v to_o we_o and_o offer_v we_o such_o a_o sum_n of_o money_n if_o we_o will_v give_v he_o our_o soul_n that_o we_o may_v be_v damn_v we_o think_v we_o shall_v abhor_v he_o and_o his_o offer_n but_o alas_o do_v not_o every_o one_o that_o use_v by_o extortion_n and_o violence_n either_o get_v or_o keep_v what_o be_v not_o he_o do_v the_o same_o thing_n his_o damnation_n be_v as_o certain_a and_o as_o infallible_a though_o more_o secret_o and_o invisible_o contrive_v by_o satan_n as_o if_o satan_n shall_v visible_o appear_v to_o he_o and_o he_o make_v a_o contract_n with_o he_o therefore_o o_o my_o soul_n let_v we_o take_v heed_n of_o the_o wile_n of_o satan_n for_o he_o general_o work_v by_o the_o world_n and_o the_o flesh_n to_o deceive_v we_o therefore_o let_v we_o now_o resolve_v by_o the_o blessing_n of_o god_n to_o look_v upon_o the_o world_n and_o the_o flesh_n to_o be_v as_o dangerous_a and_o implacable_a enemy_n as_o satan_n himself_o let_v we_o not_o endeavour_v to_o please_v the_o world_n by_o vain_a discourse_n by_o omit_v what_o god_n command_v or_o do_v what_o he_o forbid_v let_v we_o not_o be_v trouble_v but_o rather_o rejoice_v when_o we_o be_v revile_v and_o scorn_v for_o righteousness_n sake_n for_o the_o time_n to_o come_v when_o i_o be_o to_o do_v any_o religious_a duty_n i_o will_v not_o so_o much_o as_o consider_v what_o man_n will_v judge_v or_o say_v of_o i_o nor_o endeavour_v to_o make_v the_o world_n my_o friend_n since_o god_n himself_o have_v set_v enmity_n between_o we_o and_o as_o for_o the_o flesh_n i_o be_o sure_a we_o be_v no_o debtor_n unto_o that_o we_o have_v pay_v it_o far_o more_o than_o ever_o we_o owe_v it_o therefore_o for_o the_o time_n to_o come_v i_o will_v rather_o abstain_v from_o lawful_a then_o use_v unlawful_a pleasure_n and_o i_o will_v take_v heed_n not_o only_o of_o those_o pleasure_n that_o be_v unlawful_a in_o kind_n but_o those_o also_o that_o be_v unlawful_a in_o degree_n and_o that_o i_o may_v better_o avoid_v unlawful_a pleasure_n i_o will_v sometime_o abstain_v from_o those_o that_o be_v lawful_a and_o have_v serious_o consider_v i_o be_o convince_v of_o this_o that_o i_o have_v not_o make_v conscience_n enough_o in_o the_o matter_n of_o sleep_n i_o have_v not_o redeem_v the_o time_n from_o that_o nor_o have_v enough_o consider_v the_o sinfulness_n of_o it_o but_o like_o the_o sluggard_n that_o solomon_n speak_v of_o have_v turn_v upon_o my_o bed_n as_o a_o door_n upon_o the_o hinge_n therefore_o henceforth_o i_o shall_v endeavour_v to_o get_v as_o much_o time_n from_o sleep_n as_o the_o health_n and_o strength_n of_o my_o body_n will_v permit_v and_o because_o i_o be_o confident_a that_o if_o the_o damn_a be_v in_o their_o nature_n change_v and_o be_v to_o live_v again_o on_o earth_n they_o will_v think_v it_o a_o bless_a change_n to_o change_v their_o howl_n into_o sing_n of_o psalm_n and_o their_o roar_n into_o prayer_n nay_o if_o they_o be_v to_o live_v methuselahs_n age_n upon_o the_o rack_n therefore_o whensoever_o i_o be_o at_o any_o time_n tempt_v to_o be_v weary_a of_o this_o labour_n of_o love_n that_o be_v to_o be_v undertake_v in_o the_o hard_a duty_n of_o religion_n i_o will_v endeavour_v to_o shame_v myself_o out_o of_o that_o temptation_n by_o think_v thus_o with_o myself_o that_o hell_n be_v so_o much_o worse_a than_o we_o can_v suffer_v in_o this_o world_n either_o in_o god_n service_n or_o for_o god_n service_n that_o it_o be_v not_o only_o a_o desperate_a wickedness_n but_o madness_n for_o the_o avoid_n of_o the_o one_o to_o fall_v into_o the_o other_o for_o the_o conclusion_n of_o this_o meditation_n observe_v the_o direction_n and_o instance_n of_o former_a meditation_n meditat._n vii_o of_o heaven_n 1._o be_v convince_v of_o and_o affect_v with_o the_o presence_n of_o god_n 2._o pray_v to_o god_n to_o assist_v and_o enable_v thou_o in_o the_o work_n consideration_n 1._o consider_v o_o my_o soul_n the_o wonderful_a greatness_n and_o incomprehensibleness_n of_o those_o joy_n for_o 1._o consider_v what_o great_a thing_n god_n have_v give_v to_o wicked_a man_n in_o this_o work_n what_o vast_a dominion_n power_n wisdom_n learning_n majesty_n and_o indeed_o as_o to_o the_o thing_n of_o the_o world_n as_o much_o as_o their_o heart_n can_v desire_v if_o god_n give_v such_o thing_n to_o dog_n and_o swine_n what_o may_v we_o think_v be_v the_o dainty_n of_o that_o banquet_n which_o god_n feast_v his_o child_n withal_o 2._o behold_v the_o earth_n and_o the_o heaven_n in_o the_o height_n of_o the_o beauty_n of_o the_o spring_n and_o in_o the_o strength_n of_o the_o glory_n of_o the_o sun_n how_o delightful_a a_o sight_n be_v it_o to_o behold_v the_o work_n of_o god_n creation_n here_o below_o the_o commonness_n of_o this_o sight_n much_o abate_v the_o delight_n and_o wonder_n of_o it_o but_o doubtless_o if_o a_o man_n that_o be_v bear_v blind_a shall_v when_o he_o have_v attain_v to_o the_o full_a perfection_n of_o his_o age_n and_o understanding_n be_v place_v in_o a_o paradise_n as_o adam_n be_v and_o shall_v see_v as_o soon_o as_o his_o eye_n be_v open_v the_o earth_n adorn_v with_o all_o manner_n of_o curious_a flower_n and_o tree_n lade_v with_o all_o manner_n of_o fruit_n and_o sun_n shine_v in_o its_o full_a strength_n how_o wonderful_o delightful_a will_v such_o a_o fight_n be_v and_o if_o the_o foot_n stool_n of_o god_n be_v so_o rich_a how_o glorious_a be_v his_o throne_n 3._o consider_v the_o wondeful_a manifestation_n