are of great Use to us in the Course and Progress of our spiritual Warfare For as for the Lords Day it is instituted and ever since the Apostles Time hath been observed in the Christian Church as a Day of publick Worship and weekly Thanksgiving for our Saviours Resurrection in which the great Work of our Redemption was consummated And certainly it must needs be of vast Advantage to be one day in seven sequester'd from the World and imployed in divine Offices in solemn Prayers Praises and Thanksgivings and be obliged to assist and edifie one another by the mutual Example and Vnion of our Devotions to hear the Duties of our Religion explained the Sins against it reprehended and the Doctrins of it unfolded and reduced to plain and easie Principles of Practice what a mighty advantage might we reap from all these blessed Ministries if we would but attend to them with that Concern and Seriousness which the matter of them requires and deserves Especially if when the publick Offices are over we would not let loose our selves all the rest of the Day as we too frequently do to our secular Cares and Diversions and thereby choak those good Instructions we have heard and stifle those devout and pious Affections which have been raised and excited in us but instead of so doing we would devote at least some good Portion of it to the Instruction of our Families and to the private Exercise of our Religion to Meditation and Prayer to the Examination of our selves concerning our past Behaviour and the reinforcing our Resolution to behave our selves better for the future if I say we would thus spend our Lords Day we should doubtless find our selves better Men for it all the Week after we should go into the World again with much better Affections and stronger Resolutions with our Graces more vigorous and our bad Inclinations more reduced and tamed and whereas the Jews were to gather Manna enough on their sixth Day to feed their Bodies on the ensuing Sabbath we should gather Manna enough upon our Sabbath to feed and strengthen our Souls all the six days after BUT to this we must also add frequent Communions with one another in the Holy Sacrament which is an Ordinance instituted on purpose by our blessed Saviour for the improving and furthering us in our Christian Warfare For besides that herein we have one of the most puissant Arguments against Sin represented by visible Signs to our Sense viz. the bloody Sacrifice of our blessed Lord to expiate and make Atonement for it besides that those bleeding Wounds of his which are here represented by the breaking of the Bread and pouring out of the Wine do proclaim our Sins his Asassines and Murderers the thought of which if we had any ingenuity in us were enough to incense in us the most implacable Indignation against them besides that his Sufferings for our Sins of which this sacred Solemnity is a lively Picture do horribly remonstrate Gods Displeasure against them who would not be induced to pardon them upon any meaner Expiation than the Blood of his Son than which Hell it self is not a more dreadful Argument to scare and terrifie us from them in a word besides that his so freely submitting and offering up himself to be a Propitiation for us of which this holy Festival is a solemn Commemoration is an expression of Kindness sufficient to captivate the most ungrateful Souls and extort Obedience from them besides all this I say as it is a Feast upon the Sacrifice of his Body and Blood it is a Federal Rite whereby God and we by feasting together do accordingly to the antient Customs both of Jews and Heathens mutually oblige our selves to one another whereby God by giving us the mystical Bread and Wine and we by receiving them do mutually ingage our selves to one another upon those sacred Pledges of Christs Body and Blood that we faithfully perform each others Part of that everlasting Covenant which was purchased by him And what can be a greater Restraint to us when we are solicited to any Sin than the sense of being under such a dreadful Vow and Obligation With what face dare we listen to any Temptation to Evil when we remember lately we solemnly ingaged our selves to the contrary and took the Sacrament upon it And verily I doubt 't is this that lies at the bottom of that seeming modest Pretence of Vnworthiness which men are wont to urge in Excuse for their Neglect of the Sacrament namely that they love their Lusts and cannot resolve to part with them and therefore are afraid to make such a solemn Abjuration of them as the eating and drinking the consecrated Elements implies And I confess if this be their Reason they are unworthy indeed the more shame for them but 't is such an Vnworthiness as is so far from excusing that it only aggravates their Neglect For for any man to plead that he dares not receive the Sacrament because he is resolved to sin on is to make that which is his Fault his Apology and to excuse one Sin with another Wherefore if we are heartily resolved by the Grace of God to reform and amend let us abstain no longer from this great Federal Rite upon Pretence of Vnworthiness For 't is by the use of this among other Means that we are to improve and grow more and more worthy For the very Repetition of our Resolution as I have shewed above is a proper Means of strengthning and confirming it and certainly it must needs be much more so when 't is renewed and repeated with the Solemnity of a Sacrament And therefore it is worth observing how much Care our Lord hath taken in the very Constitution of our Religion to oblige us to a constant solemn Repetition of our good Resolutions For at our first Entrance into Covenant with him we are to be baptized in which Solemnity we do openly renounce the Devil and all his Works and religiously devote our selves to his service But because we are apt to forget this our baptismal Vow and the Matter of it is continually to be performed and more than one World depends upon it therefore he hath thought fit not to trust wholly to this first Engagement but hath so methodized our Religion as that we are ever and anon obliged to give him new Security For which End he hath instituted this other Sacrament which is not like that of Baptism to be received by us once for all but to be often reiterated and repeated that so upon the frequent Returns of it we might still be obliged to repeat over our old Vows of Obedience For he hath not only injoyned us that we should do this in remembrance of him Luk. xxii 19 i. e. that we should celebrate this sacred Festival in the Memory of his Passion but by thus doing the Apostle tells us we are to continue the Memorial of it to the end of the World or to shew his death till he
those Virtues which through our vicious Aversations to them seemed at first impossible will grow on by degrees from possible to easie and from easie to necessary and then the Sins will be more impossible to us than the Virtues NOW what a mighty Encouragement is this to make a good Beginning of the Christian Warfare that in so doing we are sure to conquer the main Difficulty of it that when we have broke through all those Oppositions that lie in the way to a wise and good Resolution we are past the Frontiers of Religion and having gotten over those steep Alps at its Entrance shall be sure to find the Region round about a plain and an easie Champain in which the further we go the smoother 't will be and so smoother and smoother till at last 't will be all sweet and delightful like the flowry Walks of Paradise Let us therefore be persuaded without any farther Delay to enter immediately upon this our holy Warfare and by Faith and Consideration c. to lay the Foundations of a religious Resolution that so when we are actually ingaged against our spiritual Enemies we may be able to stand our ground against all Temptations and that having finally conquered and subdued them we may receive that Immortal Crown which God the righteous Judge hath laid up for the victorious AND so I have done with the First Part of our Christian Warfare viz. our Entrance into it SECT III. Concerning the Second Part of the Christian Warfare with a particular Account of the Duties thereunto appertaining I SHALL now proceed to the Second Part of our Christian Warfare viz. the Course and Progress of it which consists in holy living For when once we have reduced our Wills to a firm and well-grounded Resolution of entring into this militant State that which is next incumbent upon us is to pursue our Resolution in the future Course of our Lives and Actions that is to abstain from all Sin and endeavour to mortifie our Inclination to it and to practise all the contrary Graces and Virtues and endeavour to improve them to farther and farther degrees of perfection or as the Scripture expresses it to cease to do evil and to learn to do well to strive against sin and to die to it and to grow in grace and perfect holiness in the fear of God In this consists the Course and Progress of our Christian Warfare In order whereunto it 's indispensably necessary that we should still repeat the Practice of those Duties by which we were first prepared to enter into it all those means by which our good Resolution was produced being naturally conducive to maintain and support it And therefore we find that Faith and Consideration c. are not enjoined as temporary Duties that are only to be practised in the Beginning of our Warfare but as means that will be always necessary for us throughout our whole Progress to Heaven For so we are commanded not only to acquire a sincere Faith or Belief of the Gospel but to continue and be stablished in it Col. i. 2 3. compared with Cap. ii 7 And so again we are injoined not only to admit the proposals of Religion into our Consideration but to keep them there Luk. viii 15 and suffer them to dwell richly in us Coll. iii. 16 And so for all those other preparatory Duties For that from a hearty Conviction of our need of Christ we should beg all Mercies of God in his Name and for his sake is a standing Precept of Christian Devotion John xvi 24 and so is also Confession of our sins to God 1 John i. 9 and Prayer for his Grace and Assistance Coll. iv 2 Nor is it only required that we should once repent or change our bad Resolution for a good one but that we should also repeat and confirm our good Resolution that we should stablish our hearts that is keep our Wills fixed and determined to all good Intentions and Purposes James v. 8 and stand fast in the Lord that is adhere to the Profession and Practice of Christianity with a firm and constant Resolution Phil. iv 1 For to proceed in our Christian Warfare is constantly to live up to our good Resolution which will require a continued Application of those means by which we were first prepared and disposed to enter into it Thus Faith is no less necessary to inable us to perform than it was to prepare us to make our good Resolution and still the more we believe our Religion the more we shall think our selves concerned in its proposals and consequently the more firmly we shall be resolved to close with and embrace them and so still as our Faith improves in degrees of Certainty our Resolution will proportionably grow stronger and stronger Again if it were necessary to the Birth of our Resolution that we should first duly weigh and consider the Motives and the Difficulties of the Duties we were resolving on then it will be no less necessary to the Growth and Emprovement of it that we should frequently consider over these Motives and Difficulties again and ballance them one against another And at first especially while our good Resolution is yet in its Infancy it will be very necessary that we should every day before we go abroad into the World spend some portion of Time in fore-thinking of the many Temptations that do lie in wait for us whether in our Business or Company or necessary Refreshments and Diversions and fore-arming our selves against them with the Motives and Arguments of our Religion that so we may have our Weapons ready when ever they shall assault us and be always provided to resist them Again if it were necessary to the forming our Resolution that we should be convinced of the Necessity and Reality of our Saviours Mediation then it will be no less necessary to the performance of it that our Hope and Fear which are the Springs of our Action should still be excited by the glorious Assurance of Mercy and horrid Prospect of Sin which this Conviction implies Once more was it necessary to the well making of our Resolution that we should affect our selves before-hand with a hearty Shame and Sorrow for our past Transgressions then will it be no less necessary for the strengthening and confirming it that we should ever and anon revive this our Shame and Grief by reflecting on the Filthiness of our past State and the Weakness and Imperfection of our present and by an ingenuous Confession of both to the high and holy God that so our Shame and Sorrow for our Sins being digested into Anger and Displeasure may sharpen our Resolution and animate it more and more against them In short if it be necessary to the founding of our Resolution that we should first earnestly implore the divine Grace and Assistance then it will be no less necessary for the continuance of it that for the same purpose we should continually apply our selves to the Throne
of Grace that we should every Morning commit our selves to Gods Grace and Protection and never presume to venture among the Snares of the World without him that we should count it as unsafe for us to go out of our Chambers without being armed with Gods Aid as 't is to rush naked into a Battle amongst Swords and Spears in a word that we should every Morning and Evening at least recommend our selves to God and beseech him to defend us against all those Terrors and Allurements which either the Devil or our own Lusts shall propose to withdraw us from our good Resolution And if upon all these preparatory Exercises of our Faith Consideration c. it was at first necessary for us to enter into a solemn Resolution it will be no less necessary that with the same continued Preparations we should frequently iterate and renew it especally at first till the Strength of our bad Inclinations is in some measure broken and abated Now we should take care to go every day out of our Chambers fresh armed as men that expect an Enemy at the Threshold and not to trust our weak Souls among the Temptations of the World till we have first chained up our Inclinations with new Vows of fidelity So that you see the Duties of our Entrance into the Christian Warfare are not so peculiar to to that State but that they are also to be practised in the Course and Progress of it BUT then besides these there are sundry others that are necessary to our successful Progress therein All which I shall reduce to these following Heads 1. That we take care to arm our selves with Patience and Courage to undergo and encounter the Trouble and Difficulty of it 2. That we propose to our selves the most excellent Examples 3. That we apply our selves to our Spiritual Guides for Direction 4. That we be very curious of our Aims and Intentions 5. That we should possess our minds with a lively Sense and awful Apprehension of Gods Presence with and Inspection over us 6. That we frequently examine and review our own Actions 7. That we be very watchful and circumspect in the Conduct and Management of our selves 8. That we should betake our selves to some honest Calling and behave our selves diligently and industriously therein 9. That we should endeavour after a chearful Frame of Spirit 10. That we should maintain in our minds a constant Sense and Expectation of Heaven 11. That we should live in the constant use of the external Ordinances and Institutions of our Religion I. TO the Course and Progress of our Christian Warfare it is necessary that we arm our selves with Patience and Courage to undergo and encounter the Troubles and Difficulties of it For so we are commanded to be strong in the Lord Ephes. vi 10 and to be strong in the grace which is in Christ Jesus 2 Tim. ii 1 that is to fortifie our selves with the Grace of God and the Motives of Religion against all those Hardships and Oppositions which may rise up against us in our March to Heaven for we are assured before-hand that we have need of patience that after we have done the will of God we may receive the promise Heb. x. 36 and therefore we are bid to strengthen our selves with all patience and long suffering with joyfulness Coll. i. 11 and to run with patience the race that is set before us Heb. xii 1 FOR though it is certain that when we have well and wisely resolved the greatest Difficulty of our spiritual Warfare is over yet it cannot be dissembled that even when this is performed and we proceed from hence to Execution there will at first especially arise such Difficulties and Oppositions in our way as will sufficiently try our Courage and Patience And though if when we were forming our Resolution we considered the whole matter we could not but foresee great Difficulties in the Execution of it and be very sensible what strong Inclinations from within and Temptations from without we were to struggle and contend with yet alas the Difficulties of all Undertakings are usually much less in our Foresight than in our Sense and Experience of them For while they are in our Foresight we have only the Notions and Ideas of them to encounter and these being not so stubborn as the things themselves are much more easily conquered by us So that when instead of our own easie and compliant Notions we come to contend with the Difficulties themselves we very often find the Face of things quite changed and those Difficulties which did so easily submit to our Apprehensions do many times make an obstinate Resistance to our Endeavours And thus many times it is in the matter in hand So that when we are fore-casting the Difficulties of Religion in our Minds we must always allow for the Distance of them which usually lessens their Appearance and conclude with our selves that when we are actually ingaged with them we shall find them much more stiff and incompliant to our Endeavours than they are now to our Thoughts and accordingly prepare and arm our selves against them For when from considering we proceed to encounter them we must expect to find that to discourse and execute are things of a widely different nature and that those Difficulties which we so easily vanquished in our Thoughts and Discourses will when we are actually contending with them put us to a much harder Trial of our Valour and Constancy than we were aware of FOR if we should have nothing but our own bad Inclinations and the ordinary Temptations of the World to struggle with yet even these we shall find sufficient to exercise our utmost Patience and Constancy For we must not expect that our bad Inclinations especially after they have been pampered and improved by a long and frequent Repetition of forbidden Enjoyments will be presently subdued and mortified when there are so many Temptations all around us cotinually exciting and provoking them No you may be assured they will struggle for their lives before they give up the Ghost and if they are deeply radicated will not be torn from their Roots without a great deal of Time and Labour So that unless you have a great stock of Patience and Courage to endure and out-stand their tedious Resistances to your pious Endeavours and to deny them those vicious satisfactions which they feed and live upon till you have starved them out you will quickly be weary of contending with them and rather chuse to yield them their Desires than be plagued with their restless Importunities BUT then besides these ordinary Difficulties of denying your sinful Desires and Inclinations it may be your Lot to take up the Cross too and to follow your Saviour through a dark Lane of Sufferings and Persecutions and then you will need a world of Patience and Courage to undergo all that Shame and Reproach Loss and Pain Fear and Suffering through which you must fight your way to Heaven if ever
possest of Peace of Conscience for the present but assured of a happy Life for the future when he hath conquered the Difficulties he contends with VIII CONSIDER that the Difficulty of these Duties is abundantly compensated by the Reward of them A generous Mind will think no Means too hard which tend to noble and worthy Ends in the prosecution of which Opposition only whets its Courage and Resolution So that doubtless had we any Spark of Generosity in us the Vastness and Excellency of the End we pursue would make us despise all Difficulties in the Way to it What a Meanness of Spirit therefore doth it argue in us to stand boggling as we do at the Difficulties of Religion to think much of spending a few Days or Years in this World in striving and contending with our Inclinations in Consideration and Watchfulness in earnest Prayer and severe Reflections on our selves when we are assured before-hand that at the Conclusion of this short Conflict we shall be carried off by Angels in Triumph to Heaven and there receive from the Captain of our Salvation a Crown of everlasting Joys and Pleasures when after a few Moments Pains and Labour we shall live Millions of Millions of most happy Ages in the ravishing Fruition of a boundless Good and after these are expired have as many Millions of Millions more to live What an unconscionable thing is it for us to complain of any Difficulty who have such a vast Recompence of Reward in our View In the name of God Sirs what would you have Why we would have Heaven drop down into our Mouths and not put us to all this Trouble of reaching and climbing after it Would you so 't is a very modest Desire indeed that is you would have the God of Heaven thrust his Favours upon you while you scorn and despise them and prostitute his Heaven to a company of Drones that don't think it worth their while to go out of their Hives to gather it O! for Shame look once more upon Heaven and consider again what it is to dwell in the Paradise of the World with God and Angels and Saints and in their blessed Company to live out an Eternity in the most rapturous Contemplations and Loves and Joys to bath our dilated Faculties in an everflowing River of Pleasures and in perfect Ease Health and Vigor of Mind to feed upon a Happiness that is as large as our Capacities and as lasting as our Beings Is this a Reward of that inconsiderable nature that we should think much to labour and contend for it is not the Hope of being satisfied for ever a sufficient Encouragement to induce us to deny our Lusts and Appetites a few Moments or is there not good enough in an everlasting Rest to countervail a few Days and Years Labour and Contention What though you pant and labour now while you are climbing the everlasting Hills God be praised 't is not so far to the Top but that the pleasant Gales and glorious Prospects you shall everlastingly enjoy there will so abundantly compensate for the Difficulty of the Ascent that instead of complaining of it you will to eternal Ages reflect upon it with Pleasure and Delight Wherefore when your Courage begins to shrink at the Difficulty of your Warfare do but lift up your Eyes to the Recompence of Reward and to be sure if you have any Heart that will inspire you with such a brave Resolution as nothing will be too hard for but what is absolutely impossible For how can we be disheartned at any superable Difficulty so long as we are animated with this persuasion that if we have our Fruit unto holiness our End shall be everlasting Life SECT V. Concerning those Duties which appertain to the Perfection and Consummation of our Christian Warfare shewing what they are and how effectually they conduce to the perfecting us in the Virtues of the Heavenly Life I PROCEED now to the Third and last Part of our Christian Warfare viz. the Consummation of it which is final Perseverance For after we have actually ingaged and made some Progress in it our next Care and Duty is that we do not relapse and basely retreat from what we have so prosperously undertaken and hitherto so effectually prosecuted but that so long as we live we persist in an open Defiance to our Sins and Endeavour to pursue and mortifie our Inclinations to them and persevere in the Practice of all Vertue still indeavouring thereby to improve and grow on to Perfection that so we may die as we have hitherto lived and consummate our Warfare in a final Victory and that when our Lord shall come or send his Herald Death to summon us off from the Field we may be found fighting under his Banner against Sin the World and the Devil and finally die as we have lived his faithful Soldiers and Followers For this he indispensably exacts of us viz. that we should be faithful unto Death Rev. ii 10 that we should patiently continue in well-doing Rom. ii 7 that we should indure to the end Matt. x. 22 and hold the beginning of our confidence stedfast to the end Heb. iii. 14 that we should keep his works to the end and finally overcome as well as fight Rev. ii 26 in a word that having set our hands to the plow we should not look back Luke ix 62 but that we should be always abounding in the work of the Lord forasmuch as we know that our labour is not in vain in the Lord 1 Cor. xv 58 the sense of all which is that we should not only begin this our Christian Warfare and prosecute it for a while but that we should proceed and persevere in it as long as we breath and never lay down our Arms till we lay down our Lives In order to which as we must still persevere in the Practice of those Duties which appertain to the Course and Progress of our Warfare so there are sundry other Duties which we must practise and which have a more direct and immediate Influence upon the final Success and Consummation of it All which I shall reduce to these following Particulars 1. That while we stand we should not be over confident of our selves but still keep a jealous eye upon the Weakness and Inconstancy of our own Natures 2. That if at any time we wilfully fall and miscarry we should immediately arise again by Repentance 3. That to prevent the like Falls and Miscarriages for the future we should indeavour to withdraw our Affections from the Temptations of the World but more especially from those which were the Occasions of our Fall 4. That we should more curiously search into the smaller Defects and Indecencies of our Nature in order to our reforming and correcting them 5. That so far as lawfully we can we should live in a close Communion with the Church whereof we are Members 6. That we should not out of a fond Opinion that we are good enough already
and for evermore Amen After this Thanksgiving consider briefly with your self the indispensible Necessity of your Perseverance to the End and how not only vain and fruitless but also hurtful and mischievous to you all your past Labour in Religion will be without it and then conclude your morning Devotion with this Prayer for Perseverance O God who art unchangeably holy and blessed who art the same yesterday to day and for ever and dost never swerve or vary from the essential Goodness and Purity of thy own Nature look down I beseech thee upon me a fickle weak and mutable Creature whom thou hast redeemed to thy self and hitherto conducted by thy Grace and Spirit Thou knowest O Lord the Weakness of my Nature and how unable I am without thy Strength and Assistance to finish the Race which thou hast set before me thou knowest what Temptations I must struggle with and what Difficulties I must yet overcome before I am seiz'd of the blessed Prize I am contending for wherefore since thou hast hitherto been my constant Support and Defence forsake me not now for thy Names sake but as thou hast begun a good Work in me so I beseech thee to finish and compleat it to uphold my feeble Soul by thy free Spirit under all Temptations and Difficulties that so by patient continuance in well-doing I may seek for and at last obtain honour and glory immortality and eternal life For which end O Lord preserve me from being over-confident of my own Abilities and inspire me with a holy Jealousie of my self that whilst I stand I may take heed lest I fall And if at any time I should be so base and so unhappy as to offend thee wilfully which I beseech thee to prevent for thy Mercy and Compassion sake O suffer me not to sleep in my Sin but recal me instantly by the Checks of my Conscience and the Convictions of thy Spirit lest while I add Sin to Sin and one degree of Wickedness to another my Lusts should regain their Dominion over me and thou shouldest be angry with me and reject me from thy Covenant for ever And that I may every Day serve thee more freely and stedfastly wean me I beseech thee more and more from those Temptations to Sin that are round about me and give me such a true understanding of the Nature of all the Goods and Evils of this World as that neither the Flatteries of the one nor the Terrors of the other may ever be able to withdraw me from my Duty And lest while I am mortifying my old Sins I should carelesly permit new ones to spring up in my Nature good God do thou mind me to search and try my own Heart and take a severe Account even of the smallest Defects and Imperfections within me that so I may correct and reform them in time before they are improved into inveterate Habits And grant that I may be always so sensible of my own Imperfection as that I may never rest in any present Attainment but may still be pressing forward to the mark of my high calling in Jesus Christ. Suggest to me I beseech thee frequent Thoughts of my Mortality that so while I have Time and Opportunity I may be preparing for my Departure hence and making provision for a dying hour In order whereunto assist me O Lord I beseech thee strictly to examin and review my past sinful Courses that so if there be any remains of Guilt abiding upon my Conscience I may purge them away by proper Acts of Repentance before I go hence and be no more seen And grant that as I have formerly abounded in Sin so I may now redeem that precious Time I have lost by abounding in the contrary Vertues that so as far as in me lies I may revoke and undo the multitude of my past Sins by doing all the Good I am able for the future And that I may hold out and persevere to the end preserve and continue me in the Communion of thy Church and suffer me not to be led away by the errors of the wicked and to fall from my own stedfastness And finally I beseech thee to grant that in the use of these blessed Means I may so far prevail over the Infirmities and Corruptions of my Nature as that at last I may have a clear and certain Feeling of my own Integrity and Vprightness towards thee that so being from thence assur'd of thy Love and of my Title to eternal Happiness I may run the ways of thy commandments more chearfully and at last finish my Course with unspeakable joy And now O Lord I resign my self to thee take me I beseech thee into thy Care and Protection this Day preserve me from all Evil but especially from Sin and quicken me by thy Spirit unto every good work that so I may serve thee with a free and cheerful Mind and make it my meat and drink to do thy blessed will All which I humbly beg for Jesus Christ his sake in whose Name and Mediation I further pray Our Father c. In the Evening when you enter into your Closet consider what is the present Frame and Temper of your Mind and upon Enquiry you will perceive either that through the present Prevalency of your corrupt Nature you are averse to divine Offices or that through bodily Infirmity you are indisposed to them or that through Worldly-mindedness and Vanity of Spirit you are cold and apt to be distracted in them or lastly that your Heart is very much enlarged and your Mind and Affections vigorously disposed towards divine and heavenly things If upon Enquiry you find that through the present Prevalency of your corrupt Nature you are averse to divine Offices indeavour to affect your self with Shame and Sorrow for it by representing to your Mind the great Impiety and Baseness the monstrous Folly and Ingratitude of this your present Temper and then offer up this following Prayer O My most gracious God and most kind and merciful Father thou art the best Friend I have in all the World and hast shewn a thousand times more Love to me than ever I shew'd to my self but after all the vast and most indearing Obligations thou hast laid upon me this vile and ungrateful Heart of mine still retains some Dregs of its antient Enmity against thee Had I but the common Sense and Ingenuity of a Man in me how could I think of thee without Raptures of Love how could I draw neer unto thee without Transports of Delight and Complacency But vile and ungrateful that I am I can think of all thy Goodness with cold and frozen Affections and can come into thy Presence not only with Indifference but Reluctancy Good God what am I made of what an insensible Soul do I carry about me O I am asham'd of my self I am confounded with the sense of my own Baseness and yet woe is me I cannot help it I strive to shake off this Clog of my corrupt