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A84357 Tears of repentance: or, A further narrative of the progress of the Gospel amongst the Indians in New-England: setting forth, not only their present state and condition, but sundry confessions of sin by diverse of the said Indians, wrought upon by the saving power of the Gospel; together with the manifestation of their faith and hope in Jesus Christ, and the work of grace upon their hearts. Related by Mr. Eliot and Mr. Mayhew, two faithful laborers in that work of the Lord. Published by the corporation for propagating the Gospel there, for the satisfaction and comfort of such as wish well thereunto. Eliot, John, 1604-1690.; Mayhew, Thomas.; Mather, Richard, 1596-1669. 1653 (1653) Wing E524; Thomason E697_16; ESTC R207106 52,811 83

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on unto it with many fears and questions what they should do when they should be a Church When therefore I saw the Lord by the Counsel of his Servants which is an holy reverend Ordinance of Christ and by his Providence denying me the help of all Interpreters having many witnesses how much care and pains I took every way I knew to be supplied therein and that the work it self was extended by the Lords gracious inlarging them in their Confessions so that the day was not sufficient to accomplish it I say when I saw the Lord speaking that delatory word I cannot express what a load it took off my heart and I did gladly follow the Lord therein yea and I bless the Lord for that day that it was carried so far as it was for the cause of Christ hath many waies gained by it many hundreds of the precious Saints being much comforted and confirmed in their hopes of this work of Christ among them and their faith and prayers much quickned by what they heard and saw And because all witnesses failed me let me say but this I began and have followed this work for the Lord according to the poor measure of grace received not for base ends I have been true faithful unto their souls and in writing and reading their Confessions I have not knowingly or willingly made them better than the Lord helped themselves to make them but am verily perswaded on good grounds that I have rather rendered them weaker for the most part than they delivered them partly by missing some words of weight in some Sentences partly by my short and curt touches of what they more fully spake and partly by reason of the different Idioms of their Language and ours Now follow those Preparitory Confessions which were read before the Elders most of them The first that made a publick Confession and was took in Writing was Peter a Ruler of Ten among them a Godly man who quickly after he had made this Confession fell sick and died and now injoyeth the fruit of his Faith the end of his Hope the salvaion of his Soul among the Blessed where I am perswaded he shall be found in the great day His Confession was as followeth VVHen I first prayed to God I did not fear God but I feared perdition because the English had told me that all should be damned that call not upon God But now I know that God made all the world and I fear him now I beleeve that which you teach is true Now I beleeve that God calleth us to Natik that here we may be ruled by God and gather a Church now I beleeve that it is Gods Command that we should labor Six dayes and keep the Sabbath on the Seventh day now my heart is greatly abased for all my sins for we see though we pray to God we are ready to offend each other and be angry with each other and that we love not each other as we should do and for this I grieve my heart crieth now I remember that God saith thou shalt not lust but before I prayed to God I was full of lusts God saith We must have but one Wife and at first did make but one man and one woman but I followed many women God saith Remember to keep the Sabbath day holy but I did hunt or shoot or any thing on the Sabbath day many other sins I committed but now I see them and wil cast them away because they are vile and God forbiddeth them when I prayed first my sins were not pardoned for my praying is worth nothing now I am humbled and mourn for my sins and yet cannot deliver my self nor get pardon therfore I trust Christ with my soul The next Confession was made by John Speene as followeth His first confession was this WHen I first prayed to God I did not pray for my soul but only I did as my friends did because I loved them and though I prayed to God yet I did not fear sin nor was I troubled at it I heard that when good men die their souls go to God and are there happy but I cannot say that I beleeved it Afterward my heart run away into the country after our old wayes and I did almost cast off praying to God A little while after that I saw that I had greatly sinned and then I saw all my sins afore I prayed to God and since I prayed to God and I saw that God was greatly angry for them and that I cannot get pardon for them but yet my heart saith I will pray to God as long as I live I thought God would not pardon me and yet I would cast away my sins I did greatly love hunting and hated labor but now I beleeve that word of God which saith Six dayes thou shalt labor and God doth make my body strong to labor John Speene This Confession being short in some main points he afterward made Confession as followeth WHen I first prayed I prayed not for my soul but for the sake of men I loved men and for their sakes I prayed to God Before I prayed many were my sins and my heart was heaped full and ran over in all manner of lusts and sins After I heard of praying to God I let it fall and regarded it not after I came to hear the word I sometimes feared but soon lost it again Then my heart ran away after our former courses and then what ever I heard I lost because my heart was run away and many were my sins and therfore I could not get pardon because my heart run away and many were my sins and I did indeed go into the Country But afterwards I hearing the Catechism I desired to learn it and then I beleeved that when Beleevers die their souls go to God and are ever happy when Sinners die their souls go to Hel and are ever tormented and that when Christ judges the world our bodies rise again and then we shall receive the judgment of Christ the good shal stand at his right hand the bad at his left this I beleeved was true and then I saw all my great follies and evils and now my heart desired to lay by hunting and to work every day and this is Gods Command and therfore a good way God said Thou shalt work six daies and if thou work thou shalt eat therfore I beleeve it and my heart promiseth that I will this do as long as I live Now I see I did great folly for now I hear that God saith Work and now I fear because God hath afflicted me in taking away my brother a Ruler now I am troubled I fear I sinned in not beleeving our Ruler because now God hath taken him away he taught me good words but I beleeved them not and now I repent because Christ calleth me to it great is the punishment of God in taking away our Ruler and now I pray and say to Christ Oh Jesus Christ Christ
expressed did much affect him And shortly after he came and desired to joyn with the praying Indians to serve Jehovah but it was to the great discontentment of the Sachems on the Mayn and those Indians about him News was often brought to him that his life was laid in wait for by those that would surely take it from him they desired him therfore with speed to turn back again The man came to me once or twice and I perceived that he was troubled he asked my counsel about removing his Habitation yet told me That if they should stand with a sharp weapon against his breast and tell him that they would kill him presently if he did not turn to them but if he would they would love him yet he had rather lose his life than keep it on such terms for said he when I look back on my life as it was before I did pray to God I see it to be wholly naught and do wholly dislike it and hate those naughty waies but when I look on that way which God doth teach me in his Word I see it to be wholly good and do wholly love it Blessed be God that he is not overcome by these temptations The next thing I judg also worthy to be observed My Father and I were lately talking with an Indian who had not long before almost lost his life by a wound his Enemies gave him in a secret hidden way the mark whereof he had upon him and will carry it to his grave This man understanding of a secret Plot that was to take away his Enemies life told my Father and I That he did freely forgive him for the sake of God and did tell this Plot to us that the mans life might be preserved This is a singular thing and who among the Heathen will do so I observe also that the Indians themselves do indeavor to propagate the knowledg of God to the glory of God and the good of others I heard an Indian after I had some discourse with the Indians in the night ask the Sachem and many others together how they did like that counsel they heard from the word of God They answered very wel then said he why do you not take it why do you not do according to it He further added I can tell you why it is Because you do not see your sins and because you do love your sins for as long as it was so with me I did not care for the Way of God but when God did shew me my sins and made me hate them then I was glad to take Gods Counsel this I remember he spake with some other things with such Gravity and truth that the Sachem and all the company was not able to gain-say Myoxeo also lately met with an Indian which came from the Mayn who was of some note among them I heard that he told them of the great things of God and of Christ Jesus the sinfulness and folly of the Indians the Pardon of sin by Christ and of a good life and so were they both affected that they continued this discourse two half nights and a day until their strength was spent He told him in particular how a Beleever did live above the world that he did keep worldly things alwaies at his feet as he shewed him by a sign That when they were deminished or increased it was neither the cause of his Sorrow or joy that he should stoop to regard them but he stood upright with his heart Heavenward and his whol desire was after God and his joy in him Now Much honored in the Lord and all that love Christ Jesus in truth let me prevail with you that we may be presented by you at the Throne of Grace in his worthiness to obtain those blessings that concerns his Kingdom and Glory our comfort and Salvation And you are and shall also be ever humbly so prayed for by him who is From the Vinyard the 22. of October 1652. Yours obliged and ever to be commanded in the Work of the Lord Jesus Thomas Mayhew To His Excellency the Lord General Cromwel Grace Mercy and Peace be Multiplied Right Honorable ENvy it self cannot deny that the Lord hath raised and improved You in an Eminent manner to overthrow Antichrist and to accomplish in part the Prophesies and Promises of the Churches Deliverance from that Bondage In all which Service the Lord hath not only kept Your Honor unsteined but also caused the Lustre of those precious Graces of Humility Faith Love of Truth and Love to the Saints c. with which through His Free Grace He hath enriched You to shine forth abundantly beyond all exception of any that are or have been Adversaries to Your Proceedings Now as the design of Christ in these daies is double namely First To overthrow Antichrist by the Wars of the Lamb and Secondly To raise up His own Kingdom in the room of all Earthly Powers which He doth cast down and to bring all the World subject to be ruled in all things by the Word of His mouth And as the Lord hath raised and improved You to accomplish so far as the Work hath proceeded the first part of His Design so I trust that the Lord will yet further improve You to set upon the accomplishment of the second part of the design of Christ not only by indeavoring to put Government into the hands of Saints which the Lord hath made You eminently careful to do but also by promoting Scripture Government and Laws that so the Word of Christ might rule all In which great Services unto the Name of Christ I doubt not but it will be some Comfort to Your heart to see the Kingdom of Christ rising up in these Western Parts of the World and some confirmation it will be that the Lords time is come to advance and spread His Blessed Kingdom which shall in his season fill all the Earth and some incouragement to your heart to prosecute that part of the Design of Christ namely That Christ might Reign Such Considerations together with the Favorable Respect You have alwaies shewed to poor New-England hath imboldned me to present unto Your Hand these first Confessions of that Grace which the Lord hath bestowed upon these poor Natives and to publish them under the protection of Your Name begging earnestly the continuance of Your Prayers for the further proceeding of this gracious Work And so committing Your Honor to the Lord and to the Word of His Grace and all Your weighty Affairs to His Heavenly Direction I rest Your Honors to serve You in the Service of Christ JOHN ELIOT To the READER Christian Reader I Know thy Soul longeth to hear Tydings of Gods grace powred out upon these goings down of the Sun because the Spirit of God by the Word of Prophesie useth to raise up and draw forth such actings of Faith as accord with the accomplishment of those Prophesies when the time of their accomplishment is come When Israel was
should ask them Questions in these matters After a little conference hereabout it was concluded That they should first make confession of their experience in the Lords Work upon their hearts because in so doing it is like something will be discerned of their knowledg in the Doctrines of Religion and if after those Confessions there should yet be cause to inquire further touching any Point of Religion it might be fitly done at last Whereupon we so proceeded and called them forth in order to make confession It was moved in the Assembly by Reverend Mr. Wilson that their former Confessions also as well as these which they made at present might be read unto the Assembly because it was evident that they were daunted much to speak before so great and grave an Assembly as that was but time did not permit it so to be then yet now in my writing of their Confessions I will take that course that so it may appear what encouragement there was to proceed so far as we did and that such as may reade these their Confessions may the better discern of the reality of the Grace of Christ in them The first which was called forth is named Totherswamp whose former Confession read before the Elders was as followeth BEfore I prayed unto God the English when I came unto their houses often said unto me Pray to God but I having many friends who loved me and I loved them and they cared not for praying to God and therefore I did not But I thought in my heart that if my friends should die and I live I then would pray to God soon after God so wrought that they did almost all die few of them left and then my heart feared and I thought that now I will pray unto God and yet I was ashamed to pray and if I eat and did not pray I was ashamed of that also so that I had a double shame upon me Then you came unto us and taught us and said unto us Pray unto God and after that my heart grew strong and I was no more ashamed to pray but I did take up praying to God yet at first I did not think of God and eternal Life but only that the English should love me and I loved them But after I came to learn what sin was by the Commandements of God and then I saw all my sins lust gaming c. he named more You taught That Christ knoweth all our hearts and seeth what is in them if humility or anger or evil thoughts Christ seeth all that is in the heart then my heart feared greatly because God was angry for all my sins yea now my heart is full of evil thoughts and my heart runs away from God therefore my heart feareth and mourneth Every day I see sin in my heart one man brought sin into the World and I am full of that sin and I break Gods Word every day I see I deserve not pardon for the first mans sinning I can do no good for I am like the Devil nothing but evil thoughts and words and works I have lost all likeness to God and goodness and therefore every day I sin against God and I deserve death and damnation The first man brought sin first and I do every day ad to that sin more sins but Christ hath done for us all righteousness and died for us because of our sins and Christ teacheth us That if we cast away our sins and trust in Christ then God will pardon all our sins this I beleeve Christ hath done I can do no righteousness but Christ hath done it for me this I beleeve and therefore I do hope for pardon When I first heard the Commandements I then took up praying to God and cast off sin Again When I heard and understood Redemption by Christ then I beleeved Jesus Christ to take away my sins every Commandement taught me sin and my duty to God When you ask me Why do I love God I answer Because he giveth me all outward blessings as food clothing children all gifts of strength speech hearing especially that he giveth us a Minister to teach us and giveth us Government and my heart feareth lest Government should reprove me but the greatest mercy of all is Christ to give us pardon and life Totherswamp The Confession which he made on the Fast day before the great Assembly was as followeth I Confess in the presence of the Lord before I prayed many were my sins not one good word did I speak not one good thought did I think not one good action did I doe I did act all sins and full was my heart of evil thoughts when the English did tell me of God I cared not for it I thought it enough if they loved me I had many friends that loved me and I thought if they died I would pray to God and afterward it so came to pass then was my heart ashamed to pray I was ashamed if I prayed not I was ashamed a double shame was upon me when God by you taught us very much ashamed was my heart then you taught us that Christ knoweth all our harts therefore truly he saw my thoughts and I had thought if my kindred should die I would pray to God therfore they dying I must now pray to God and therefore my heart feared for I thought Christ knew my thoughts then I heard you teach The first man God made was named Adam God made a Covenant with him Do and live thou and thy Children if thou do not thou must die thou and thy Children And we are Children of Adam poor sinners therefore we all have sinned for we have broke Gods Covenant therefore evil is my heart therefore God is very angry with me we sin against him every day but this great mercy God hath given us he hath given us his only Son and promiseth That whosoever beleeveth in Christ shall be saved for Christ hath dyed for us in our stead for our sins and he hath done for us all the words of God for I can do no good act only Christ can and only Christ hath done all for us Christ have deserved Pardon for us and risen again he hath ascended to God and doth ever pray for us therefore all Beleevers Souls shall goe to Heaven to Christ But when I heard that word of Christ Christ said Repent and Beleeve and Christ seeth who Repenteth then I said dark and weak is my Soul and I am one in darkness I am a very sinful man and now I pray to Christ for life Hearing you teach that Word that the Scribes and Pharisees said Why do thy Disciples break the Tradition of the Fathers Christ answered Why do ye make void the Commandements of God Then my heart feared that I do so when I teach the Indians because I cannot teach them right and thereby make the word of God vain Again Christ said If the blind lead the blind they will both fall into the ditch
I have sinned I beleeve that if I repent and be humbled and pray not only outwardly but inwardly and beleeve in Christ then God will pardon all my sin but I cannot get pardon of sin I cannot deserve pardon but only Christ hath merited pardon for us I cannot deliver my self from all my sins but Christ redeemeth and delivereth from all sin I deserve not one mercy of God but Christ hath merited all mercies for us The next are the Confessions of Robin Speene who three several times came forth and confessed as followeth His first Confession I Was ashamed because you taught to pray to God and I did not take it up I see God is angry with me for all my sins and he hath afflicted me by the death of three of my children and I fear God is still angry because great are my sins and I fear lest my children be not gone to Heaven because I am a great sinner yet one of my children prayed to God before it died and therefore my heart rejoyceth in that I remember my Panwaning for he was a Panwan my lust my gaming and all my sins I know them by the Commandements of God and God heareth and seeth them all I cannot deliver my self from sin therefore I do need Christ because of all my sins I desire pardon and I beleeve that God calls all to come to Christ and that he delivereth us from sin Robin Speen His Second Confession I Have found out one word more great are my sins and I do not know how to repent nor do I know the evil of my sins only this one word now I confess I want Christ this day I want him I do not truly beleeve nor repent I see my sin and I need Christ but I desire now to be redeemed and I now ask you this Question What is Redemption I answered him by shewing him our estate by Nature and desert the price which Christ paid for us and how it is to be applied to every particular person which done he proceeded in his Confession thus I yet cannot tell whether God hath pardoned my sins I forget the Word of God but this I desire that my sins may de pardoned but my heart is foolish and a great part of the Word stayeth not in my heart strongly I desire to cast all my sins out of my heart but I remember my sins that I may get them pardoned I think God doth not yet hear my prayers in this because I cannot keep the Word of God only I desire to hear the Word and that God would hear me Robin Speen His Third Confession ONe word more I cal to mind Great is my sin this saith my heart I have found this sin when I first heard you teach that all the world from the rising to the sitting Sun should pray to God I then wondered a● it and thought I being a great sinner how shal I pray to God and when I saw many come to the Meeting I wondred at it But now I do not wonder at that work of God and therefore I think that I do now greatly sin and now I desire again to wonder at Gods Works and I desire to rejoyce in Gods good waies Now I am much ashamed and fear because I have deserved eternal wrath by my sins my heart is evil my heart doth contrary to God and this I desire that I may be redeemed for I cannot help my self but only Jesus Christ hath done al this for me and I deserve no good but I beleeve Christ hath deserved all for us and I give my self unto Christ that he may save me because he knoweth eternal life and can give it I cannot give it to my self therefore I need Jesus Christ my heart is full of evil thoughts and Christ only can keep my soul from them because he hath paid for my deliverance from them The next are the Confessions of Nishohkou who twice made preparitory Confessions the first of which only was read before the Elders GOD in Heaven is merciful and I am sinful when I first heard the Word of God I neither saw nor understood but after when you taught these words Be wise Oh all ye people and beleeve in Jesus Christ then I prayed unto God yet afterwards I sinned and almost forsook praying to God Afterward I understood That God who made all the World was merciful to sinners and truly I saw my heart very sinful because I promised God to pray as long as I live but my heart hath not so done Again I promised God I will follow Christ in al things and now I find my heart backward and not so forward to make a Church God promiseth If foolish ones pray to God for Wisdom he will give it this Promise I beleeve but I find my heart full of temptations but now I promise God as in the Psalm * All my works shal be done in wisdom for I confess al my works and words have been foolish God is wise and good but I am foolish God who hath made the World sent his own Son Jesus and Jesus Christ hath died for us and deserved for us pardon and life this is true and he hath done for me all Gods Commandements for I can do nothing because I am very sinful God in Heaven is very merciful and therfore hath called me to pray unto God God hath promised to pardon al their sins who pray unto God and beleeve in the Promise of Christ and Christ can give me to beleeve in him When he had made this Confession he was much abashed for he is a bashful man many things he spoke that I missed for want of through understanding some words and sentences therfore before the Fast day he made another Confession which was not read before the Elders which was as followeth Nishohkou I am dead in sin Oh! that my sins might die for they cannot give life because they be dead before I prayed to God I did commit all filthynesse I prayed to many gods I was proud full of lusts adulteries and all others sins and therefore this is my first Confession that God is mercifull and I am a sinner for God have given unto me instruction and causeth me to pray unto God but I only pray words when I prayed I somtimes wondered and thought true it is that God made the world and me and then I thought I knew God because I saw these his works and then I was glad somtimes and gave thanks yet presently again I did not rejoyce in it Again somtimes I thought now I do wel because I pray and work not on the Sabbath daies but come to the Meetings and hear the Word of God But afterward again I thought I do not wel because true it is That yet I do not truly pray for now I see I sin when I pray because there is nothing but sin in my mouth or hand or heart and all sins are there for of these my sins my heart is full