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ID Title Author Corrected Date of Publication (TCP Date of Publication) STC Words Pages
A35861 A Dialogue between a monkey in the Old Bayly and an ape in High Holbourn 1681 (1681) Wing D1296; ESTC R29713 7,661 6

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making the Government hold up its hand at the Barr. But why Brother should you be against the Poetical Tribe Methinks this a kind of Reflection upon Marchiment Needham and your Masters Servant in Salisbury Court a kind of Arraigning the Muses and the Menial Misses too for my part I had rather go to Oxford to Crack Nuts than to Rome for Filbirds my Dinner upon a Courant in the Old Bayly pleases me as well as Dining upon Observators at Sadlers-Hall I had as live write for men as Boys and keep them Company when I have done and have as much Fortune as my Standish will hold to stand by them Ape You Uncharitable and unmannerly Rascal would I had but an Inquisition for your sake and my great Chair in power I would soon make you fell the weight of a Sentence that would sire you and your Courant about your Eears what do you take me to be Jack on both sides one half a Protestant and the other a Papist Monkey A Wit a wit An excellent hand at guessing I l'e Vow he has Robbed me of the very Secrets of my Soul A Jack-an-Apes on both side yes hang me if that be not my thoughts and that the left is the Romanist because 't is the Heart side and you must not be affronted at my Opinion for I am under the Conduct of one Mr. L. in the matter inferior things you know must be guided whether in Ecclesiastical or Civil Affairs When Catholicks has spoke suspiciously of your Sincerity in the Cause you always had my good word I challenge spoke suspiciously of your Sincerity in the Cause you always had my good word I challenge the most unbelieving man of them all to produce one single instance that ever any Ape in the World spoke a word in his whole Life against the Church of Rome and I am sure you are too much a Gentleman to act Retrograde to your own Nature for most of the publick Villanies charged upon the men of that Communion since the Discovery of the Plot you have by a delicate kind of Habeas Corpus removed the Guilt and with Pen in one hand and Paper in t'other Aped behind the Dissenters Asses and at the Lappet of his Coat fixed the whole Information and so by a STRANGE kind of Metamorphosis his next Excrements becomes a Plot against the Government Ape What need all these innumerations Sirrah for all this is within the power of my Commission that since I know their thoughts better than they do themselves why may not I be permitted to speak their words and to speak any thing for such too and then Beacon like warn the people of the danger and if the don't come in quickly with their Contributions as well as others I will send a Regiment or Two of Observators amongst them to proceed to Millitary Execution and then you shall see them Void nothing but Axes Hatches and Gibbets and the like Instruments of Death and Destruction but who can charge the Genteel and Fashionable Religion of the Romanists with any such Practice they are too much Gentlemen to be Enemies to the King or the Establisht Religion to be concern'd in Plots and Conspiracies against the Government in such low and dishonourble things as Burnings and Massacres these actions more sute the Genius of the Mechanical Presbyterian Dunghil-bred Dissenter or the Clownish Conformist that never consulted nothing but the English Bible Bishop Vsher's Body of Divinity the Dutch Anotations or so but those who have denoted themselves Disciples to Bellarmin Thomas Acquinas with the rest of those great and Heroick Souls and have had their constant Conversation among Gentlemen you may as well perswade me that Endimions Palace is made of Green Cheese or that Vesper once stole a Flitch of Bacon out of a Finchly Chimney and carried it clear away from the poor Rustick into his own Region as to talk me into a belief that those accomplished Gentlemen of the Church of Rome should be guilty of such Clownish and home-spun Deportments as the late noise makes them a man may sweep away this Dust without doing any harm to Pavement Altar Chancel nay Isle Belfrey or Steeple Monkey Or Weathercock either Ha boy Hal well done Roger Cokes him Pugg is this one of the Tunes that was plaid before Oliver This is a Genteel come off indeed The History of the Plot The Dissenters Sayings Richard and Baxter Ephraim and Ezekiel The Case put are Idle and Ridiculous things to this here 's an exact account of the growth of Knavery indeed Certainly none but Colledges Grand Jury can question such Evidence as this here is the Doctrine of Probability all-over and the Mystery of Jesuitism unvailed without question this was blown out of a Roman-Nose I don't question hadst thou but the Phanaticks in thy power they should all be cut out into two penny Chops and Stued in a Philip and Mary Pipkin dost not think a good Honest Church-man by way of Addition would not make the Broth and Sippets the better I believe to suck boths Bones would have an equal sweetness in your Palate but yet I commend thee Roger for its pitty but the Devil should have his Due it s an act of kindness to give them warning thou scornest to let the Gentry be run down being with in the Lines of Communication your self if one may run the hazard of believing you for one of the Gadburian Tribe in the Antient Bailey a good Care-full Fellow tells the world he has Calculated your Nativity and that a three penny Planet Ruled the Rost others say it is because of an Apish Habit of lolling that your Doublet is so often out at Elbows Its pitty truly that a Gentleman should be born under such a Beggarly Influence and under the inevitable controul of such Apish and destructive Gestures but an Ape will be an Ape what says Scoging who can reasonaby expect Oats in the Excrements when the Horse never eat any thing else but Hay and Straw this is the strenuousest Argument against the Validity of the Evidence of a Popish Plot that ever the world yet heard of what Clownish and unmannerly Generation of men those are that asperse Gentlemen at this Rate who have parts and Breeding of their own and Persons of Quality to their Parents Men that have such Brave and Generous Principles Hereditary to them to charge them with Plots is a little hard I confess and upon a due Consideration of the Premises I am a little wavering in the matter my self here is Observatoring for you Care enough to stop your Mouth to Eternity but I know you 'l say It 's either a Lestrange or a Strange-Lee and if you do I cant help it Droll and Impudence are of as comfortable Importance to the Gent. as any Canterbury Divine ever had to his Back well you have brought the People of the Church of Rome off with Drums beating and Colours Flying I have nothing more to say I am forc'd