speak it I confesse that in my mothers belly I was defiled in sin my father and mother prayed to many gods and I heard them when they did so and I did so too because my parents did so and in my childhood afore I could act sin I did delight in it as dancing and Pawwaug and when they did so they prayed to many gods as Beasts Birds Earth Sea Trees c. After I was born I did all such things I loved lust when I was a youth though I did act these lusts but a little But when I had a little begun my heart did very much desire more to do such sins I saw the English keep Sabbath I cared not but played and catch't birds or any thing yet when I saw Englishmen I ran away on the Sabbath day because they should not see mee As yet I knew not of great sins as Murder Adultery then some Indians said we must pray to God When I was in English houses I saw them pray and I thought it a vain work They said there was but one God I thought nay there be many Gods When Indians said Wee will pray my heart said No I will not so long as I live Yet I heard more and more of praying to God and that my brothers prayed to God but my heart said Praying to God is vain After I heard Waban did pray and my brothers Wompoâ—as and Toteswoâ—mp yet my heart said No I am well enough I have not so sinned as other men I am no Murderer Adulterer c. Then I ran away yet I was not much troubled because my brothers prayed A little after I came and my brother said to mee I pray you pray to God I answered him not but my heart said No yet I was troubled because I heard my brothers I thought if any should kill my brothers I would kill him if any Warrs were I would go with my brothers only I thought of my love to my brothers and then that if my brother make Warr I would go with him to kill men Now he prayes shall not I go with my brothâ—â—â—◠〈◊〉 my brothers love me and they both pray to God 〈◊〉 should not I They prayed morning and 〈…〉 they eat and on Sabbath dayes then I thought I would do so but it was not for love of God or fear of God but because I loved my brothers Again when I came to Noonantam I heard the Minister preach and I desired to hear what he 〈…〉 taught but I understood not 〈…〉 because I understood stood 〈…〉 to hear I heard some youths 〈…〉 Roxbury My brother said to me Go you because you may learn Smithery For that reason I did go but desired not to learn to pray all these things were vain When we came to Roxbury I said I desired to learn Smithery But my Master said I may not teach him my Trade lest Indians learn to make Locks and Guns Then I would not dwell with him and thought to cast off praying and thought I would forsake my brothers My brother perswaded mee to dwell one year there but I would not yet at last I did dwell there one year and went to meeting but in vain for I understood not one word After that year I returned to Noonantam and then I heard that God made all the world but yet I did not pray to God one jot but still sinned and especially the sin of Lust I made light of any sin I heard and understood the Commands of God Thou shalt not murder commit adultery steal bear false witness covet and that made me afraid to commit sin afore man lest I should be punished or put to death but I feared not God After I heard the Minister ask Who made you A. God and Who redeemed you A. Christ and Who must sanctifie you The holy Ghost and that God made Heaven Earth Sea c. then I a little considered of God who made all this world and then I was afraid I saw that no man could make these things and that therefore we must pray to God Then my heart said Assuredly it is so God made all things and made mee and I must pray to him After this my brothers were sick and I prayed God Oh that they may live and then I heard that now God tryeth mee whether I will pray or no I confesse I have done many sins especially lust though I had not been a Murderer or the like But then my brothers and kindred dyed then my heart said Sure it 's a vain thing to pray to God for I prayed yet my friends dyeâ— therefore I will run wilde and did cast off praying I did not pray morning and night and at meat only on the Sabbath day I came to meeting but I cared not for hearing nor did I believe any thing I heard but I still lived in sin and my heart said I will run away for here we are hindred from sin in other places I may freely sin Then my brothers which lived were troubled for mee Then I said I will abide with my brothers because I love them but not because I would pray Then that Winter God broke my head I knew but little I was almost dead Then my heart said Now I know God is angry with mee for my sins and hath therefore smote mee then I prayed hard when I was almost dead I remembred my sins much and considered them much I remembred that God made all the world and therefore assuredly there is a God I heard that God made Adam and made him in his own image Gen. 1. and assuredly none but God could make all the world heaven earth sea c. then I did believe that God did make the world Again I confesse I saw that I had offended against God and sinn'd against him and that I had the root of sin in me and that I had deserved all miseries and death and hell I heard that God made a Covenant with Adam and forbad him to eat of the Tree in the midst of the Garden and yet he did eat and therefore God was angry with man and I was born in sin and therefore God was angry with me and because I have sometime forsaken God and run wilde therefore I now know my sin and my offence against God I desire no more to cast off God and prayer for now I know my sins and that I have deserved misery therefore now I desired to pray to God as long as I live I desired pardon of my sins and I thought it may be God will pardon mee and my heart prayed to God Oh God if thou give mee life again I will assuredly believe and obey and now I know my sins by the sin of Adam but when I had thus done quickly my heart would be vain again After my wound when I came to my self and awaked I saw my sin and promised God to pray unto him when I saw the mercy of God was so great unto mee I heard that word
English Towns on the Sabbath day and I played for I did not regard that sin I thought it vain to keep one day yet I feared that the English should see me play least they should be angry but not because I offended God Afterwards I heard that my Brothers prayed and therefore I disliked them and I thought I will forsake my Brothers because they do a vain work and I did run away into the Country but they soon found me and asked me to pray and they pitied me and loved me and therefore I returned not because I loved God but because I loved my brothers My brother said Go dwell with the English and learn their manners I yeilded because I loved my brother I dwelt here at Roxbury and came to this meeting house but in vain I prayed not one word and my heart did misbelieve I heard the Minister preach that there is one God and he made the World and all things in it but my heart thought it was a vain word I thought my Father made me and not God Again I returned from this Town but yet I did not pray I heard the Commandements Thou shalt not murder Thou shalt not commit adultery Thou shalt not steal Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbour Thou shalt not covet c. and other sins and punishments I heard of and I feared to sin because of man and because of punishment but not for fear of God therefore vain were all my wayes When I came back to Noonantam I did the same sins again especially I loved lust yea after my praying and being among them I loved it more then before When the Minister came and taught I went to the meeting but in vain I learned nothing but I still loved all our sins and lusts Afterward hearing the Catechism Who made you God Who redeemed you Jesus Christ c. my heart misbelieved and said I will not believe I will go away into the Country Again I heard that God made all the world and then a little I believed and thought I will pray to God but weak it was Again I heard Mat. 7. Ask and ye shall have seek and ye shall find knock and it shall be opened to you Then I prayed a little and then I thought there was a God who made the whole world I thought man could not make the world but only God and therefore I did pray unto him Afterward my Brothers were sick and others also I remembred that word Ask and ye shall have then I prayed to try if that word was true but they dyed then I thought that was a vain word and that God heareth not our prayers and that God is not therefore I thought I will cast off praying and run away I did not believe in God my heart said I shall die whether I pray or not pray all is one Then I heard that praying was the way to Everlasting Life but yet I regarded not praying I thought of running away and yet I thought whether I go or stay I shall die and therefore I was troubled but I did not pray Afterward I was at work and my head was broken in the Saw-pit and then I knew God was angry with me because I prayed not and then I did much know my sins I thought surely God is angry I remembred that I had heard that Word preached Watch for ye know not the hour that the Son of Man cometh this I remembred when my head was broken I heard that God made all the world and Adam and set Adam in Paradise and bid him eat of all the Trees saving of the Tree in the midst of the Garden if he eat thereof he should die but Adam did eat thereof and died then my heart believed surely God is and he made the world and man and me I heard Gen. 1. God said Let us make man in our own Image and let him have dominion over all the creatures Then my heart believed sure God is good to man and man is a sinner against God and therefore God is angry with me for my sins I heard that God formed man of the dust of the earth and breathed into him the breath of Life and then my heart said surely God made the world and man and me and all things and my heart believed And now I know God is angry with me now I will pray to God as long as I live and no more return to sin but I will do Gods Word all my daies Again I heard that God made Adam sleep and took out of him a rib made it a woman and brought her to man then I thought sure God made us and the world and these great works shew that there is a God Again I heard that God called her the Mother of all living and by that means we have life and then I believed that God made us and therefore I will pray to God as long as I live and no more cast it off Again I heard Gen. 6. that God saw the sin of man that it was great and that all the thoughts and imaginations of his heart are only evil continually and therefore God was angry and repented that he had made man and therefore drowned the world and every living creature he caused it to rain fourty dayes on the earth then my heart said sure there is a God and he will perform all his threatnings he is God and therefore he will do it Again I heard that God found Noah righteous and he found favour in his sight he believed in God and did obey his Word and God saved him Then my heart desired to believe that God is and to pray unto him Again I heard Gen. 19. that the Angels of God came to Lot in Sodom and delivered just Lot but did burn up with the wicked Sodomites with fire from heaven who had cast off praying to God and did commit great sins against God therefore I saw that I had deserved to be burnt because I had done their sins And when God sent his Angels and did deliver just Lot and then the rest were burnt then I saw in my heart sure God is merciful to them that love him and therefore my heart said I will no more return to sin but I will follow God but yet sometimes I doubted but I believed the mercy of God according to that I heard Mat. 1. she called his Name Jesus for he saveth his people from their sins Then my heart thought surely it is true that Christ is the Son of God and was made man and is merciful but yet I still did doubt whether Christ was the Son of God Again I heard Mat. 3. Repent for the Kingdome of Heaven is at hand And again The voice of one crying in the Wilderness prepare ye the way of the Lord and make his paths straight My heart said I desire to repent and to make ready my heart for God that I may have mercy and pardon in Christ Jesus Again the word
saith The Tree that brings not forth good fruit is cut down and cast into the fire My heart said sure so is my heart and I have deserved to be cast into the fire I have brought forth such fruits as may justly cut me down Again I heard the word of Christ He that heareth the Word and doeth it shall be blessed Then my heart said I have deserved not to be pardoned but I beg for mercy Again the word saith This is my beloved Son in whom I am well pleased My heart said sure God is merciful to send his own Son and Christ is merciful that he came and died for us Again I heard that the Tempter came to Christ and said If thou be the Son of God make these stones bread But Christ said man liveth not by bread only but by every word which cometh out of the mouth of God Then I believed that Christ was the Son of God and that my Soul liveth not by bread but by the Word of God Again Mat. 8. the Leper came to Christ and said Lord if thou wilt thou canst make me whole and Iesus touched him and he was healed Then my heart said surely Christ is the Son of God and he only can heal my sins Again I heard in Mat. 6. If ye forgive one another God forgiveth you Then my heart said I desire to do this else God will be angry with me Again I heard Mat. 9. all diseased came to Christ the blind halt c and he healed them therefore I believed that he was the Son of God and I begged of Christ to pardon my sins and save me because sure he is Christ the Son of God Again the word saies Not every one that saith Lord Lord shall enter into the Kingdome but he that doth the will of my Father Then my heart said I do fear because I do very weakly obey the Word of God and therefore Christ saith Depart ye workers of iniquity My heart said such an one am I but now I cry to and trust to Christ to pardon all my sins Again I heard Mat. 11. that Christ said Capernaum was lifted up to heaven by the Gospel but should be cast down to hell for refusing it I thought I did now pray iâ— I now fall off I shall perish And again Christ saith It shall be easier for Tyre and Sidon in that day Then my heart said I have deserved the worst of Gods wrath for I believed not the great works of God and therefore I desire pardon of all my sins and to forsake all my sins and to pray to Christ as long as I live Again I heard Mat. 5. That Heaven and Earth shall pass away but not one jot or tittle of the Word of God but all shall be fulfilled Therefore my heart did desire that I may both hear and do the Word of God which will never perish Again I heard Mat. 16 Christ saith Who say ye that I am Peter said Thou art Christ the Son of the living God Christ said Blessed art thou Peter flesh and blood hath not revealed this to thee but my Father and on this Rock I will build my Church and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it Therefore my heart believed that God helped me to receive Christ and I desire to take that promise to Peter and my heart joyed more and more in Christ and in the Word of God Again I heard Mat. 26. Iesus took bread and blessed it and brake it and gave it and said Take eat this is my body which is broken for you and likewise the Cup c. saying This is my blood in the New Testament which was shed for remission of sins c. My heart said sure Christ is full of love and hath given us great mercy and I desire to partake of it Again the wicked did kill Christ but he rose again and ascended to heaven then my heart believed Christ Again I heard Iohn 14. No man cometh to the Father but by me My heart said so be it Lord I desire to come to God by Christ and I said Why did the wicked kill Christ My heart said I believe that Christ died for my sin and therefore I desire to believe in Christ Then my heart did joy in Christ and to heartle Word of God but yet to this day I have doubts in my heart my heart is weak to this day And now I know that in six daies God made the world and before that God I desire to confess my sins and forsake them and no more to do them Sometimes my heart is in an ill frame and loveth sin and my heart hateth good therefore I desire the free Mercy of Christ to hold and keep my Soul When he had finished and I had read before the assembly this confession of his we called upon the witnesses to co-attest Who did in the same order as before express themseves to the like purpose Only when we called for Tho Stanton his sonnes they were not present nor did they any more appeare in the Congregation to attest the Indians confessions all the day Ponampiam He was next called forth and thus spake I Confess my sinnes before the Lord and his people this day While my Father lived and I was young I was at play and my Father rebuked me and said we shall all die shortly In private we asked him what ground or reason moved his Father so to speak he answered it was when the English were new come over and he thinketh that his Father had heard that Mr Wilson had spoken of the flood of Noah how God drowned all the world for the sinnes of the people Then I was troubled and thought sure what God saith shall be and not what man saith but I quickly forgot this and thought not of any good That same Winter the pox came all my kindred died only my Mother and I lived we came to Cohannit by Dorchester where I lived till I was a man and married All those daies I sinned and prayed to all gods and did as others did there I lived till the Minister came to teach us When I heard that they prayed my heart desired it not Sometime I prayed among them and sometime I neglected it I feared to pray because of the Sachems therefore I put it off for the fear of man Afterward I considered in my heart to pray to God not because I loved the word but for other reasons I heard that Word Mal. 1. From the rising of the Sun to the going down thereof my name shall be great among the Gentiles and in every place incense shall be offered unto my name and a pure offering for my name shall be great among the heathen saith the Lord of hosts Then I was troubled in my thoughts about running away yet then I thought if I should go to another place they must pray also and therefore I cannot flie from praying to God therefore I tarried and when others prayed I prayed
Say not I will pray hereafter but now Today if yee will hear his voice harden not your hearts but pray to God and that made my heart to yield to do it Then I understood Gen. 2. that God formed man out of the dust of the earth and breathed into him a living soul by this I did believe that God made me And I heard that God caused Adam to sleep and took out a rib and made it a woman and by this I believed that surely this is the work of God Again I heard that wee are born in sin under the guilt of Adams sin and by that I believed that I was a sinner Again I heard Gen. 6. that all the thoughts and imaginations of the heart of man are only evil continually and that God did threaten to destroy man whom hee had made and all beasts and living creatures which hee had made and by this I saw that surely sin is a very great evil Again I heard that Noah found grace and hee onely was upright before God and that God drowned all the world except Noah and his sons and their wives eight persons this did make mee remember my sinnes and confesse them and I saw that God is angry with sin It rained forty dayes and so drowned all the world then I said Surely this is Gods work and hee doth as he threatned to do to sinners and the same may God do to me who am a sinner and my heart is full of sin and evil thoughts c. And then I prayed Oh God be not angry with mee but be mercifull to mee and shew mee what I should do Then I considered why did God bid Noah make an Ark and saved Noah and his Sons and their Wives and by it my heart saw that this is Gods work who does what hee speaketh and hath mercy on whom hee will And my heart thought does God pardon mee and love mee It may be God will have mercy on mee I heard that promise Mat. 3. Repent and believe for the Kingdom of heaven is at hand then my heart said Oh that God would help mee and pardon my sins And God made mee wonder at Gods mercy to mee I heard of Sodom and their great sin and destruction and that did make me to remember my great sins and the great work of God that hee had almost kill'd mee Oh I thought this is Gods work to shew mee my sinnes and as God saved Lot by the Angels and sent him out of the place but burnt Sodom and all the people this I saw to be Gods work now I desired to fear God and pray unto him all the dayes of my life Again I heard Mat. 3. The axe is laid to the root of the tree every tree that bringeth not forth good fruit is hewen down and cast into the fire then I feared my own case because my fruits were sin and I deserved to be cut down then I desired to believe in Christ I did believe that Christ is the Son of God by that word Matth. 4. Satan tempted Christ If thou be the Son of God c. but Christ conquered Satan and therefore assuredly hee is the Son of God Then I considered that place Mat. 11. Many came to Christ the halt and blinde and lame and deaf and sick and hee healed all and if they did but touch Christ they were healed and therefore my heart believed assuredly hee is the Son of God and therefore now I will pray and Oh let Christ save mee And Christ hath promised Whatever yee ask in my name it shall be done therefore now I prayed Oh Christ Jesus pardon mee but my heart is weak and doubting and I cannot believe And I heard that word that every tree that bringeth not forth good fruit is cut down and cast into the fire then I said I deserve that Again that word Not every one that sayeth Lord Lord but hee that heareth the Word and doeth it Assuredly it is so and I desire not only to hear the Word but to do it then my heart was ashamed of my sinnes and grieved I heard that word Matth. 6. Blessed art thou Simon bar-Ionah flesh and blood hath not revealed this unto thee but my heavenly Father then my heart said Yea Lord no man has taught mee Christ onely God hath taught my heart to know Christ Again I heard that word Mat. 1. Hee will save his people from their sins then my heart said Be it so to mee Oh Lord Again I heard that Christ rose again the third day with an Earth-quake and the Watchmen were afraid and fled then my heart said Surely this is Christ the Son of God and whosoever believeth in Christ his soul shall go to heaven For again I heard of the Ascension of Christ and more then five hundred saw him ascend and therefore I believe this is Christ the Son of God Again I heard that in John 14. No man cometh unto the Father but by mee my heart answered Yea assuredly Oh Lord Christ is the way to believe in and come to God Again I heard that Mat. 25. Christ saith to the wicked Depart yee cursed I said God might justly say so to mee and send mee to eternal death But I earnestly cryed to God Oh God set mee into the right way and give mee Christ that I may ever walk with Christ for I am poor and weak and Christ promiseth that what wee ask hee will grant and I say Let God do with mee what hee will but I beg mercy in Christ onely I desire to pray to God as long as I live Iohn Speen THis I confess that I assuredly am a great sinner before the Lord but now I beseech God to help mee Oh Christ lead mee in the right way that I may speak that which is right This I confesse that before wee prayed to God I was wholly a sinner and not only before but since praying to God I have been a great sinner and now I desire to make a short confession for we desired that they would be shorter the time requiring so At first when I prayed my prayer was vain and only I prayed with my mouth and on the Sabbath only I came to the House of Prayer I prayed morning and evening and when I eat but I considered not what I prayed for I was sometime angry and passionate about wordly matters and I was troubled when I saw my brother was chosen to be a Ruler who was younger then I because now I saw that I was a sinner and though I repented yet presently again I fell into sin therefore I thought surely God hath cast me off because I thus sin and still my heart was full of sin all my thoughts were full of sin all my talk and doings were sinfull But now of late about 2 yeares ago I heard this word Mat. 12. When the unclean spirit was cast out hee went up and down unquiet then hee returned and took 7 devils with him worse
as other youths did at all these things because thereby did original sin grow in me and hard it was to root it out and hard to believe After this I heard still and more I understood I heard Gen. 16. that the people were full of sin lust and all other sin and therefore the Lord destroyed them and I knew that I had the same sins and therefore I was afraid but I feared only this bodily life and not for my Soul After this my heart did a little desire to pray to God because God found Noah righteous and did save him therefore I desired to pray but again I laid it by and I said it is vain to pray for if I pray and should commit sin I shall be punished or imprisoned but if I pray not I may commit what sin I will and have no punishment for it About a year after I heard the Minister teach another word that the Death of Christ is precious and our death is nothing worth therefore God promiseth pardon of all sins for Christ his sake he bid us remember this against next time When he came again he asked me and I did remember it and do to this day but I confess I did not believe only I did remember it and answered when I was asked And then again I desired to pray to God and would not go away but it was because I loved our place and dwelling I prayed but I believed not I considered not Eternal Life but only this worldly life And thus I went on till they chose Rulers at Natik they chose me and I refused because I believed not After that my Wife and Child died and I was sick to death but lived again and being well I thought I could not pray I was a Child and therefore could not I put off praying to God my Relations died and why should I pray but then I considered why does God thus punish me yea the Minister spake to me about it and said it may be it was because I refused to do Gods work as Moses when he first refused God was patient but when he persisted in his refusal God was angry and then my heart saw my sin and then my heart almost believed I desired to do right and to keep the Sabbath for I further heard in the 4th Commandment Remember the Sabbath to keep it holy and Psa. 101. I will walk wisely in a perfect way Also in Isay 58. If thou turn away thy foot from the Sabbath and do not thy own works nor find thy own pleasure nor speak thy own words therefore my Soul desired to keep the Sabbath then the Souldiers came upon us on the Sabbath day while we were at meeting and took away our Guns and caused us to bring them as far as Roxbury that night my heart was broken off my heart said God is not the Sabbath is not it is not the Lords Day for were it so the Souldiers would not have then come then my heart cast off praying then we came before the Magistrates and Cutshamoquin asked Why they came on the Sabbath-day It was answered that it was lawful but I did not understand it That day I being very thirsty did drink too much and was brought before the Magistrates and was ashamed I came to Roxbury to the Minister and there I was ashamed also because I had greatly sinned then I cried to God for Free-mercy because precious is the Death of Christ oh pardon this my sin Yet again I had temptations to drinking and then I considered what a great sinner I was even like a beast before God Then I heard that word Mat. 5. He that breaketh the beast of Gods Commands and teacheth others so to do shall be the least in the Kingdome of Heaven My heart said Lord such an one have I been for I have been an active sinner yet I cried again for mercy O Lord freely pardon my great sins Again I confess I am very weak even like a very child and I so walk and know not what to do if I die I fear I shall die in my sin yet I cried again O God pardon me for Christ his sake Again further I confess that when I was troubled about our wants poverty and nakedness I considered that text Foxes have holes and Birds have nests but the Son of man hath not whereon to lay his head And again Mat. 6. The Birds plough not and the flowers spin not and yet God doth both feed and cloath them and therefore be not over-much troubled about these things yet I desire to follow labour with my hands because Gen 1. God gave Adam dominion over the creatures and commanded him to Till the ground And Gen. 2. He set him in the Garden and commanded him to dress it and keep it Also Gen. 3. he said Thou shalt eat thy bread in the sweat of thy face all thy dayes till thou returnest to thy dust When I remember these things my heart doth bow to labour also I heard that riches were the root of all evil and Dives with his fine apparel and dainty fare was in hell and poor Lazarus was in heaven When my heart is troubled about our Land â—nd about riches I quiet my heart with these meditations Also I further heard when my heart was troubled about Salvation and doubted I heard that there is no means of Salvation but Christ not any thing in the world can carry us to heaven only Christ which I did believe by Gen. 28. where Iacob dreamed a dream and he saw a Ladder which stood on earth and the top reached up to heaven and that Ladder is Christ who is Man and so toucheth the earth and God and so is in heaven and by believing in him we ascend to heaven as by a ladder This helped me almost to believe and I cried Oh Christ be thou my Ladder to heaven Again Ioh. 14. Christ saith None cometh to the Father but by me therefore I believe nothing can carry me to God but only Christ if I penitently believe in him Again I confess I do still find my self very weak to resist sin for if I read and teach on the Sabbath I teach indeed but I do not as I ought and therefore that Word of Christ doth rebuke me Mat. 23. Hear and do what they say but do not as they do When I do among others reprove sinners that Word of Christ reproveth me Thou hypocrite first cast the beam out of thine own eye and then thou mayest see clearly so cast the moat out of thy brothers eye Again when I pray I find hypocrisie in my heart to do it to be seen of men and that Word of Christ reproveth me Mat. 6. They pray to be sâ—en of men verily they have their reward and then I cryed mightily to God O Lord help me pardon me what shall I do Again I heard Mat. 9. The Son of Man hath power to pardon sin on earth and therefore me O Lord then
and then my heart said Surely God is angry with me who doth thus afflict me Then I heard that word Mat. 22. God made a Feast and invited his Guests and they would not come and therefore God was angry with them So did I for I came not to the Word of God when he called me I cared not for the Feast of Christ Again after many of my friends were destroyed I thought it was because they prayed not to God therefore I feared that God is angry with me also because of his punishments I fear I believe not Christ and my heart feareth because of my sins daily I break Gods Commands Another Word I heard Mat. 5. Blessed are they who hunger and thirst after righteousness for they shall be satisfied this is the Word of Christ and I desire to hunger for Christ and begged O Christ help me Again I remembred that Word Blessed are the pure in heart for they shall see God my heart saith O Christ help me to be so that cleane may be my heart Again I heard that Word Blessed are the peace-makers for they shall be called the Children of God then my heart thought O that I had peace with God in Christ that I might have that blessing and therefore I now confess my sins before God and I beg mercy from God in Jesus Christ When I had read this short confession for the day spent and brevity was called for we called upon the witnesses who spake as formerly Monotunkquanit He was next called who thus spake I Have heard the word and prayed to God several yeares And I confess that before I prayed I was full of sin and yet I do not know my sins I thought they were all good waies and therefore I did them I knew not the Sabbath nor Lecture daies nor any good only I knew wild Actions daily I desired falshood vile actions singing Indian songs these things I desired to do but all good things I was ignorant of and very much I sinned daily Then I heard of praying to God I came to Cohannit at Dorchester from Nipmuk where I lived but my heart laughed at praying and said its a vain action only those actions that I was bred up in I liked and esteemed but these new things I derided The Sachims disliked it and therefore so did I The rich men disliked it and therefore so did I I believed not that God is I went to Cohannit not for praying but to gather clams When I came thither they exhorted me to pray and said The Minister cometh to morrow to teach it is lecture day I desired to see him he came they met together I went and carried my son Samuel I saw the Minister he called my son asked him Who made you they bid him say God but I had not so taught him He asked whose son he was they said mine he said do you pray to God I said no for I am a poore man and naked they that pray are cloathed Therefore I will not pray can poore men pray Therefore I would not pray I went home Then Waban and Totherswamp came to my house and taught me to pray They intreated me now pray to God My heart liked it not They said God is a great God and made all the World I said who is witness of that They said the Minister will answer you Again they taught me the Commandments of God but I did not believe Totherswamp promised to come again he did so and said now pray to God because God is good I thought it a teadious thing to pray to God Then he strongly intreated me I said I will try but not for praying but in vain Then my kindred said praying is a vain thing why will you pray therefore returne again then I went and prayed When I first came Waban taught that Word The night is farre spent the day is as hand therefore let us cast off the works of darkness and let us put on the Armour of light My heart asked what are dark workes They answered sianes and what is day they answered praying to God and the wisdome of the Word is light And this is now almost come unto us Then my heart smile I will pray to God Again I heard the Minister who said these words Thou shalt have no other Gods but me thou shalt not make to thy selfe any graven Image nor the likeness of any thing in Heaven above in the earth below in the waters under the earth thou shalt not bow down to them nor worship them Then my heart said that I did worship many false gods therefore if I pray it may be God will kill me but they said no he is a good God then I prayed and then my kindred hindred me Therefore my heart said If my kindred pray then I will pray Then I was taught more and I did heare the Word that God made Adam of the dust and made him sleep and took out a rib and made a woman and thus God made man My heart said It may be God made English men but not us poore naked men as we are of a strange language and therefore I doubted to pray Then I heard of Nimrod his building of Babel and that God was angry made strange to each other their language and brake their work Then my heart said Surely so it is as I did believe Again I heard that God found one man just Noah and saved him in his Ark and did drown the world then my heart said I desire that God may find many just persons with us therefore I pray to God then I more prayed Again I heard that God made a Covenant with Abraham and his seed to be their God My heart said so let it be I desire to be in this Covenant of God and to pray so long as I live I thought if I do well God will pardon all my sinnes the Minister said no If you do all good as perfectly yet God will not pardon God will pardon only for Iesus Christ his sake Then I believed Iesus Christ was both God and man and made peace betwixt God and man Christ did for us all the Commandments of God and died for us he payed death for us and therefore for his sake God will pardon us if we believe in Christ I heard that which Mat. 7. Ask and ye shall have seek and ye shall find knock and it shall be opened c. Then my heart said I will pray as long as I live and knock at heaven dore Again I heard that word Enter in at the streight gate c. My heart said Sure it is so narrow and hard is the way to Heaven broad and easy is the way to hell I desire to walk in the narrow way to heaven Again Christ died for us and thereby saveth us and saith Come to me all that are weary and I will give you rest Then my heart said Great is my weariness for many are my sinnes and I desire rest in Christ