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zealous_a constancy_n in_o walk_v strict_o according_a to_o the_o precept_n of_o the_o moral_a law_n both_o negative_o and_o positive_o for_o the_o time_n to_o come_v i_o be_v then_o under_o the_o predominancy_n of_o a_o legal_a spirit_n and_o act_v under_o the_o covenant_n of_o work_n look_v with_o the_o bond-womans_n child_n for_o justification_n and_o life_n eternal_a in_o the_o way_n of_o work_n reckon_v it_o the_o only_a sure_a and_o safe_a way_n to_o expect_v salvation_n by_o perform_v the_o conditinal_a covenant_n of_o work_n and_o abound_v in_o such_o personal_a qulification_n as_o may_v render_v i_o acceptable_a to_o god_n of_o which_o i_o have_v often_o think_v i_o have_v as_o great_a measure_n as_o any_o he_o i_o know_v live_v i_o shall_v not_o insist_v on_o the_o particular_n of_o those_o inherent_a qualification_n wherein_o i_o be_o apt_a to_o believe_v i_o do_v match_v if_o not_o out_o strip_v the_o strict_a moralist_n i_o know_v who_o be_v yet_o in_o his_o natural_a 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save_a lose_v sinner_n i_o be_v all_o for_o do_v and_o work_v and_o the_o more_o work_v i_o do_v the_o far_o i_o find_v myself_o from_o true_a peace_n and_o comfort_n my_o chief_a and_o only_o work_v now_o be_v believe_v in_o the_o son_n of_o god_n in_o who_o alone_o that_o righteousness_n be_v to_o be_v find_v which_o reconcile_v a_o sinner_n to_o a_o offend_a god_n from_o that_o text_n above_o mention_v the_o covenant_n of_o god_n free_a grace_n in_o christ_n be_v explain_v and_o lay_v open_a before_o the_o eye_n of_o my_o enlighten_v understanding_n the_o term_n whereof_o i_o find_v be_v as_o far_o wide_a of_o or_o contrary_a to_o the_o way_n to_o which_o the_o covenant_n of_o work_n direct_v for_o attain_v life_n eternal_a as_o the_o east_n be_v from_o the_o west_n or_o as_o heaven_n be_v from_o hell_n the_o work_n of_o the_o spirit_n in_o discover_v christ_n to_o i_o from_o that_o text_n and_o his_o draw_v i_o to_o close_v with_o christ_n so_o discover_v be_v so_o full_a of_o amaze_a and_o astonish_a wonderment_n and_o surprise_v ravishment_n of_o soul_n that_o i_o be_o no_o mroe_n able_a to_o express_v or_o relate_v the_o same_o than_o i_o be_o able_a to_o find_v out_o the_o dimension_n of_o the_o sun_n or_o to_o give_v a_o exact_a account_n of_o the_o number_n of_o the_o star_n there_o be_v hold_v as_o it_o be_v a_o court_n of_o enquiry_n in_o my_o soul_n the_o holy_a ghost_n which_o before_o be_v the_o spirit_n of_o bondage_n wound_v and_o kill_v i_o by_o the_o terrible_a sentence_n of_o the_o law_n he_o be_v become_v the_o spirit_n of_o adoption_n to_o consummate_v a_o sweet_a and_o bless_a marriage_n between_o the_o lord_n jesus_n christ_n god_n only_a son_n by_o eternal_a and_o ineffable_a generation_n and_o a_o poor_a lose_v and_o undo_v prodigal_a who_o as_o adam_n child_n be_v bear_v heir_n of_o the_o curse_n partaker_n of_o a_o nature_n as_o vile_a and_o polute_v as_o hell_n itself_o can_v make_v it_o and_o who_o case_n and_o condition_n in_o respect_n of_o inward_a horror_n and_o despair_v of_o soul_n differ_v but_o little_a at_o least_o as_o i_o think_v and_o believe_v from_o that_o of_o the_o damn_a in_o hell_n six_o thing_n this_o bless_a spirit_n of_o adoption_n do_v effect_v in_o order_n to_o consummate_v this_o match_n first_o he_o discover_v and_o make_v know_v to_o i_o who_o the_o lord_n jesus_n hold_v forth_o in_o the_o gospel_n be_v from_o whence_o he_o come_v and_o to_o what_o end_n the_o father_n send_v he_o second_o he_o make_v plain_a discovery_n to_o i_o of_o christ_n almightiness_n to_o save_o and_o reconcile_v to_o god_n the_o worst_a and_o most_o wretched_a of_o sinner_n and_o that_o the_o righteousness_n which_o he_o as_o mediator_n between_o god_n and_o sinner_n have_v wrought_v be_v the_o alone_a righteousness_n by_o which_o a_o sinner_n be_v to_o be_v save_v and_o that_o in_o a_o way_n of_o believe_v though_o not_o for_o believe_v that_o god_n for_o the_o sake_n and_o merit_n of_o his_o son_n obedience_n to_o the_o law_n both_o active_a and_o passive_a do_v frank_o and_o free_o pardon_v and_o forgive_v the_o poor_a rebel_n transgression_n commit_v against_o the_o moral_a law_n as_o if_o he_o have_v never_o commit_v they_o and_o account_v the_o whole_a of_o that_o righteousness_n of_o christ_n both_o active_a and_o passive_a as_o true_o the_o sinner_n as_o if_o the_o sinner_n have_v personal_o perform_v the_o same_o himself_o and_o that_o in_o a_o way_n of_o free_a imputation_n three_o he_o persuade_v my_o heart_n that_o god_n the_o father_n against_o who_o law_n i_o have_v sin_v and_o who_o anger_n and_o curse_n for_o the_o same_o i_o fear_v be_v real_o willing_a and_o desirous_a that_o i_o shall_v be_v reconcile_v to_o himself_o by_o the_o virtue_n of_o his_o son_n mediation_n and_o that_o by_o my_o betake_v myself_o to_o he_o and_o cast_v my_o weary_a and_o sink_a soul_n on_o he_o to_o be_v introduce_v into_o his_o presence_n and_o by_o his_o spotless_a comeliness_n put_v on_o i_o i_o may_v be_v make_v amiable_a and_o acceptable_a in_o his_o sight_n four_o he_o discover_v to_o i_o and_o persuade_v my_o heart_n of_o the_o full_a and_o complete_a provision_n make_v by_o god_n and_o make_v know_v in_o the_o covenant_n of_o grace_n for_o the_o make_v complete_o and_o eternal_o happy_a those_o soul_n who_o be_v by_o christ_n his_o son_n believe_v and_o rely_v on_o for_o salvation_n reconcile_v to_o his_o majesty_n in_o respect_n of_o these_o and_o the_o like_a discovery_n which_o the_o holy_a ghost_n make_v to_o the_o elect_n in_o effectual_a call_v and_o between_o that_o and_o their_o arrive_v at_o glory_n he_o be_v style_v the_o spirit_n of_o manifestation_n and_o of_o revelation_n 1_o cor._n 12._o
to_o truth_n nor_o the_o way_n to_o he_o no_o more_o than_o a_o poor_a pagan_a who_o never_o hear_v of_o he_o i_o have_v such_o low_a gross_a and_o carnal_a thought_n and_o apprehension_n of_o the_o deity_n that_o i_o be_o very_o apt_a to_o conclude_v the_o very_a heathen_a have_v far_o high_a and_o more_o sublimate_n conception_n of_o their_o fictitious_a god_n that_o i_o have_v of_o that_o tremendous_a and_o unconceivable_o glorious_a god_n who_o i_o so_o ignorant_o worship_v i_o be_v wonderful_o zealous_a in_o all_o religious_a performance_n wherein_o i_o do_v at_o any_o time_n engage_v both_o in_o private_a and_o also_o in_o the_o public_a in_o my_o private_a duty_n i_o be_v marvellous_o retire_v and_o secret_n be_v full_a of_o apprehension_n how_o ill_a construction_n will_v by_o all_o sort_n be_v put_v upon_o my_o so_o severe_a and_o strict_a way_n of_o live_v and_o for_o better_a accomplishment_n whereof_o i_o single_v out_o a_o very_a convenient_a place_n than_o which_o i_o 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and_o trouble_v attend_v this_o new_a course_n of_o life_n which_o thou_o be_v so_o fond_a of_o and_o on_o which_o thou_o be_v so_o resolut_o bend_v do_v not_o yet_o appear_v in_o their_o black_a and_o formidable_a colour_n therefore_o be_v wise_a in_o time_n go_v back_o to_o thy_o desert_a companion_n and_o free_o embrace_v thy_o forsake_a sport_n and_o pleasure_n before_o thou_o be_v too_o far_o go_v in_o this_o fond_a and_o dangerous_a way_n thou_o be_v get_v into_o or_o else_o thou_o will_v repent_v when_o it_o be_v too_o late_o beside_o these_o assault_n from_o the_o devil_n and_o the_o continual_a ebullition_n of_o my_o stink_a and_o vile_a nature_n which_o do_v frequent_o surround_v i_o with_o new_a and_o fresh_a attack_n to_o draw_v i_o back_o again_o i_o meet_v with_o new_a and_o unlooked_a for_o discouragement_n from_o my_o relation_n who_o take_v notice_n of_o the_o great_a and_o strange_a change_n which_o evident_o appear_v in_o i_o frequent_o assail_v my_o weak_a and_o poor_a beginning_n in_o piety_n and_o religion_n with_o hard_a speech_n and_o unbecoming_a language_n against_o that_o precise_a and_o severe_a course_n of_o life_n i_o have_v so_o late_o embrace_v tell_v i_o with_o great_a asseveration_n that_o i_o shall_v most_o certain_o bring_v myself_o to_o downright_a madness_n by_o read_v the_o scripture_n so_o much_o note_v reader_n and_o oserve_v by_o the_o way_n how_o great_a a_o antipathy_n there_o be_v in_o the_o devil_n and_o in_o unregenerate_a sinner_n to_o the_o sacred_a scripture_n a_o sure_a argument_n that_o they_o be_v the_o pure_a and_o infallible_a word_n of_o god_n these_o thing_n accompany_v with_o innumerable_a mock_v taunt_n and_o jeer_n which_o on_o all_o occasion_n be_v heap_v on_o my_o name_n and_o practise_v prove_v some_o occasion_n of_o startle_v and_o discouragement_n to_o i_o but_o the_o fix_a apprehension_n i_o have_v of_o be_v send_v to_o hell_n to_o be_v damn_v in_o case_n i_o become_v not_o and_o continue_v a_o convert_n do_v abundant_o outdo_v all_o the_o opposition_n which_o lie_v or_o meet_v i_o in_o my_o way_n of_o strict_a and_o religious_a live_n on_o i_o go_v notwithstanding_o the_o many_o and_o great_a opposition_n i_o find_v myself_o encompass_v with_o abound_v and_o increase_n rather_o than_o any_o way_n decline_v or_o abate_v either_o in_o duty_n or_o ardent_a zeal_n in_o do_v they_o my_o proficiency_n in_o morality_n and_o the_o advance_v i_o make_v in_o zeal_n for_n the_o church_n and_o the_o liturgy_n and_o service_n thereof_o be_v so_o conspicuous_a and_o manifest_a that_o i_o become_v the_o talk_n of_o almost_o all_o sort_n especial_o those_o who_o stand_v relate_v to_o my_o family_n letter_n and_o person_n who_o pass_v to_o and_o fro_o give_v a_o account_n in_o city_n and_o country_n what_o a_o strange_a alteration_n and_o admirable_a change_n appear_v in_o their_o cousin_n j._n b._n and_o what_o a_o great_a and_o wonderful_a practiser_n of_o piety_n he_o be_v become_v this_o be_v so_o noise_v abroad_o that_o i_o can_v scarce_o look_v or_o speak_v or_o pass_v in_o or_o out_o where_o people_n be_v but_o i_o have_v somewhat_o or_o other_o bring_v into_o discourse_n concern_v my_o forwardness_n and_o zeal_n in_o religion_n and_o notwithstanding_o i_o be_v at_o that_o time_n but_o a_o hypocritical_a formalist_n and_o a_o paint_a legalist_n know_v nothing_o of_o jesus_n christ_n and_o the_o covenant_n of_o grace_n not_o so_o much_o as_o in_o the_o notion_n yet_o i_o be_v frequent_o trouble_v and_o exceed_o ashamed_a to_o hear_v mention_v make_v of_o my_o activity_n and_o zeal_n in_o serve_v and_o worship_v god_n so_o far_o be_v i_o from_o either_o design_v or_o desire_v to_o make_v the_o world_n privy_a to_o my_o intention_n of_o go_v to_o heaven_n and_o that_o which_o speak_v the_o thing_n the_o more_o strange_a be_v to_o consider_v the_o circumstance_n of_o time_n and_o place_n neither_o of_o which_o afford_v any_o thing_n that_o may_v contribute_v the_o least_o part_n of_o a_o motive_n or_o a_o inducement_n to_o put_v i_o on_o look_v towards_o or_o so_o much_o as_o think_v of_o conversion_n there_o be_v no_o preach_v in_o those_o part_n the_o ordinary_a mean_n by_o which_o conviction_n in_o order_n to_o faith_n and_o conversion_n be_v effect_v nor_o yet_o the_o example_n or_o advice_n and_o council_n of_o any_o person_n which_o may_v occasion_v in_o i_o such_o thought_n or_o work_n of_o soul_n in_o this_o way_n i_o contine_v for_o about_o six_o or_o seven_o year_n after_o my_o first_o awakening_n frequent_v the_o church_n and_o its_o appoint_a service_n and_o grow_v blind_a in_o pharisaical_a zeal_n for_o the_o moral_a law_n and_o divine_a service_n book_n until_o i_o have_v in_o my_o own_o apprehension_n and_o conceit_n arrive_v at_o a_o high_a pitch_n of_o confidence_n that_o i_o be_v beyond_o all_o dispute_n real_o convert_v and_o that_o consequent_o i_o shall_v go_v to_o heaven_n and_o be_v save_v yea_o i_o do_v frequent_o reckon_v and_o account_v with_o myself_o that_o if_o but_o two_o in_o the_o world_n shall_v go_v to_o heaven_n i_o shall_v certain_o be_v one_o of_o the_o two_o and_o that_o because_o i_o be_v certain_o convert_v and_o have_v take_v so_o much_o and_o great_a pain_n in_o do_v good_a and_o shun_v evil._n i_o have_v no_o fear_n or_o jealousy_n lodge_v in_o i_o about_o god_n accept_v my_o person_n and_o his_o have_a regard_n to_o my_o numerous_a and_o zealous_a performance_n of_o duty_n both_o private_a and_o public_a my_o extraordinary_a inclination_n to_o the_o ministry_n and_o that_o matchless_a zeal_n which_o appear_v in_o i_o for_o the_o church_n that_o love_n and_o veneration_n i_o have_v for_o its_o liturgy_n ceremony_n and_o clergy_n especial_o its_o prelacy_n give_v my_o father_n and_o other_o relation_n great_a hope_n that_o i_o
twine_n thread_n over_o hell_n mouth_n roar_v out_o as_o if_o my_o bowel_n have_v burst_v out_o of_o my_o body_n cry_v with_o great_a and_o unutterable_a groan_n and_o tear_n my_o good_a lord_n dear_a my_o lord_n i_o be_o afraid_a i_o be_o a_o undo_v creature_n i_o be_o a_o damn_a man_n there_o be_v no_o mercy_n for_o i_o my_o lord_n perceive_v by_o my_o look_n and_o speech_n that_o i_o be_v in_o good_a earnest_n wound_v with_o tear_n in_o his_o eye_n and_o with_o the_o great_a concernedness_n for_o i_o begin_v to_o play_v the_o spiritual_a physician_n ask_v i_o with_o great_a earnestness_n what_o gross_a and_o cry_v sin_n as_o adultery_n murder_n and_o the_o like_a can_v one_o of_o my_o year_n be_v guilty_a of_o as_o to_o occasion_v my_o fall_n into_o despair_n of_o mercy_n and_o say_v my_o lord_n admit_v you_o be_v guilty_a of_o such_o and_o great_a abomination_n what_o reason_n have_v you_o for_o despair_n you_o must_v know_v that_o jesus_n christ_n the_o son_n of_o god_n come_v into_o the_o world_n not_o to_o lay_v a_o load_n on_o you_o but_o to_o take_v your_o load_n off_o you_o quote_v mat._n 11._o 29._o come_v unto_o i_o all_o you_o that_o be_v weary_a and_o heavy_a lade_v and_o i_o will_v give_v you_o rest_v with_o many_o other_o text_n of_o scripture_n and_o comfortable_a expression_n he_o labour_v to_o relieve_v and_o ease_v my_o burden_a and_o sink_a soul_n but_o all_o in_o vain_a god_n time_n of_o cure_v my_o deep_a and_o desperate_a wound_n be_v not_o come_v as_o touch_v my_o purpose_n of_o go_v into_o the_o country_n my_o lord_n tell_v i_o i_o may_v use_v my_o freedom_n but_o that_o his_o judgement_n and_o advice_n be_v that_o it_o be_v better_o for_o i_o to_o stay_v than_o to_o go_v into_o the_o country_n and_o that_o because_o of_o the_o great_a disadvantage_n which_o by_o go_v will_v accrue_v to_o i_o in_o my_o study_n my_o lord_n have_v declare_v his_o judgement_n what_o have_v be_v best_a for_o i_o to_o do_v i_o tell_v his_o lordship_n i_o be_v resolve_v to_o take_v his_o advice_n what_o ever_o come_v of_o i_o and_o according_o i_o do_v my_o sore_a continual_o raw_a day_n and_o night_n and_o cease_v not_o yea_o my_o soul_n refuse_v to_o be_v comfort_v according_a to_o that_o of_o the_o psalmist_n in_o the_o like_a case_n psal_n 77._o 2._o in_o the_o day_n of_o my_o trouble_n i_o seek_v the_o lord_n my_o sore_a run_v in_o the_o night_n and_o cease_v not_o my_o sell_v refuse_v to_o be_v comfort_v i_o seem_v to_o follow_v and_o to_o ply_v my_o study_n rather_o for_o fashion_n sake_n and_o for_o fear_v my_o lord_n and_o my_o father_n shall_v suspect_v that_o i_o love_v idleness_n rather_o than_o any_o love_n i_o have_v thereto_o or_o hope_n that_o ever_o it_o will_v turn_v to_o any_o account_n for_o good_a to_o myself_o or_o other_o when_o at_o any_o time_n i_o look_v into_o a_o book_n instead_o of_o hee_v or_o mind_v what_o be_v in_o the_o book_n the_o eye_n of_o my_o gnaw_a guilty_a conscience_n be_v fix_v on_o the_o many_o sin_n i_o have_v commit_v against_o god_n insomuch_o that_o all_o the_o sin_n of_o my_o youth_n be_v in_o all_o their_o black_a and_o aggravate_v circumstance_n lay_v and_o hold_v before_o i_o as_o a_o looking-glass_n to_o show_v i_o what_o a_o monstrous_a sinner_n i_o be_v according_a to_o that_o of_o david_n psal_n 51._o 3._o for_o i_o acknowledge_v my_o transgression_n and_o my_o sin_n be_v ever_o before_o i_o endless_a be_v the_o toss_n and_o rowlings_n of_o my_o weary_a soul_n from_o one_o sad_a confusion_n and_o despair_a thought_n to_o another_o innumerable_a almost_o be_v the_o sorry_a prayer_n such_o as_o they_o be_v and_o other_o duty_n which_o i_o daily_o perform_v to_o keep_v and_o relieve_v my_o despair_v soul_n with_o but_o all_o in_o vain_a which_o cause_v i_o to_o conclude_v that_o i_o have_v be_v much_o want_v in_o the_o trade_n of_o work_n and_o that_o have_v i_o not_o be_v so_o i_o may_v have_v be_v acquaint_v with_o peace_n and_o comfort_n before_o now_o to_o the_o trade_n of_o do_v i_o again_o address_v myself_o resolve_v not_o to_o omit_v or_o leave_v undo_v any_o thing_n which_o i_o understand_v by_o read_v or_o hear_v to_o be_v matter_n of_o duty_n pray_v understand_v by_o the_o book_n for_o i_o know_v no_o better_a read_v fast_v and_o attend_v the_o most_o lively_a preacher_n frequent_v sacrament_n give_v alm_n to_o the_o poor_a of_o what_o money_n my_o lord_n and_o other_o relation_n hand_v out_o to_o i_o that_o place_n in_o dan._n 4._o 7._o be_v oft_o in_o my_o thought_n according_a to_o which_o i_o give_v away_o whatever_o i_o get_v yea_o so_o addict_v to_o relieve_v the_o poor_a and_o needy_a be_v i_o that_o i_o will_v give_v away_o my_o very_a apparel_n when_o i_o have_v no_o money_n and_o all_o this_o from_o a_o pharisaical_a and_o superstitious_a conceit_n that_o by_o those_o act_n of_o duty_n and_o service_n i_o shall_v recompense_n god_n for_o those_o sin_n which_o like_o a_o millstone_n on_o the_o back_n of_o a_o man_n be_v sink_v my_o soul_n into_o the_o gulf_n of_o desperation_n i_o do_v abound_v more_o and_o more_o in_o strict_a and_o circumspect_a walk_v according_a to_o do_v and_o live_v the_o condition_n and_o tenure_n of_o the_o first_o covenant_n of_o work_n under_o which_o i_o be_v labour_v for_o life_n the_o more_o i_o wrought_v at_o the_o trade_n of_o duty_n the_o further_o i_o find_v myself_o from_o peace_n which_o do_v cause_v i_o to_o conclude_v that_o my_o case_n be_v certain_o desperate_a and_o that_o it_o be_v peculiar_o my_o own_o and_o that_o none_o that_o belong_v to_o god_n be_v ever_o in_o such_o a_o condition_n as_o i_o find_v myself_o to_o be_v in_o i_o then_o renew_v my_o old_a practice_n of_o go_v to_o minister_n acquaint_v they_o with_o the_o deplorable_a and_o wretched_a state_n and_o condition_n i_o be_v in_o and_o earnest_o beg_v their_o advice_n and_o council_n what_o one_o in_o my_o sad_a circumstance_n have_v best_a to_o do_v in_o order_n if_o it_o be_v possible_a to_o escape_v eternal_a damnation_n oh_o that_o kill_a word_n damnation_n when_o ever_o i_o hear_v read_v or_o think_v of_o it_o how_o do_v it_o rack_n and_o torment_v my_o spirit_n as_o fear_v it_o will_v be_v my_o portion_n for_o ever_o as_o the_o principle_n from_o which_o i_o act_v in_o order_n to_o heal_v and_o cure_v be_v do_v and_o live_v so_o those_o spiritual_a physician_n to_o who_o i_o address_v myself_o for_o council_n and_o comfort_n in_o this_o despair_n of_o soul_n be_v as_o ignorant_a in_o the_o mystery_n of_o the_o new_a birth_n as_o ever_o be_v nicodemus_n joh._n 3._o 4._o they_o put_v i_o on_o do_v those_o duty_n in_o and_o about_o which_o i_o have_v labour_v before_o even_o to_o weariness_n the_o name_n of_o those_o dignitaries_n of_o the_o church_n to_o who_o i_o apply_v myself_o together_o with_o what_o their_o say_n be_v be_v too_o tedious_a to_o relate_v and_o therefore_o i_o here_o pass_v they_o by_o only_o i_o think_v fit_a to_o acquaint_v the_o reader_n with_o the_o great_a and_o superlative_a ingenuity_n and_o dexterous_a skilfulness_n in_o heal_v a_o sinsick_a soul_n which_o one_o of_o they_o above_o the_o rest_n have_v attain_v to_o to_o his_o everlasting_a fame_n be_v it_o speak_v the_o thing_n be_v thus_o after_o i_o have_v acquaint_v the_o bishop_n for_o of_o no_o low_a a_o degree_n be_v he_o with_o the_o sad_a and_o lamentable_a condition_n my_o soul_n be_v in_o but_o he_o forthwith_o exhort_v i_o to_o get_v a_o book_n style_v the_o whole_a duty_n of_o man_n and_o when_o i_o have_v get_v it_o i_o shall_v come_v to_o he_o for_o further_a instruction_n the_o book_n i_o forthwith_o procure_v and_o to_o his_o lord_n bishop_n i_o repair_v who_o find_v that_o i_o have_v get_v the_o book_n take_v it_o out_o of_o my_o hand_n and_o turn_v to_o a_o prayer_n appoint_v for_o one_o of_o the_o night_n in_o the_o week_n with_o great_a earnestness_n charge_v i_o that_o when_o i_o be_v ready_a to_o go_v to_o bed_n that_o i_o be_v sure_a to_o kneel_v down_o by_o my_o bedside_n and_o say_v that_o prayer_n the_o which_o be_v do_v according_a to_o his_o lordship_n direction_n but_o to_o how_o great_a purpose_n i_o leave_v the_o judicious_a and_o experience_a christian_a to_o judge_n have_v thus_o apply_v myself_o to_o seven_o or_o eight_o of_o the_o able_a and_o most_o fame_a of_o the_o father_n and_o dignitaries_n of_o the_o church_n of_o england_n then_o in_o dublin_n and_o find_v by_o woeful_a and_o sad_a experience_n how_o little_a they_o understand_v my_o case_n and_o how_o vast_o short_a they_o prove_v in_o help_v i_o in_o my_o extremity_n i_o conclude_v my_o
honour_n if_o thou_o tread_v in_o those_o step_v of_o christ_n which_o lead_v to_o the_o heavenly_a glory_n he_o go_v to_o heaven_n antipode_n to_o this_o vain_a world_n wherein_o thou_o be_v so_o must_v thou_o if_o thou_o desire_v to_o meet_v he_o in_o heaven_n thou_o must_v expect_v and_o look_v to_o have_v all_o the_o world_n set_v against_o thou_o for_o thy_o witness_v to_o the_o truth_n and_o condemn_v the_o error_n and_o wickedness_n of_o the_o world_n thou_o must_v expect_v and_o look_v to_o be_v cast_v off_o by_o father_n and_o all_o fleshly_a relation_n for_o his_o and_o the_o gospel_n sake_n thou_o will_v for_o follow_v christ_n in_o the_o way_n of_o holiness_n be_v account_v a_o hypocrite_n a_o self_n conceit_v and_o a_o self_n justify_v precisian_n and_o proud_a pharisee_n and_o that_o by_o the_o great_a pharisee_n of_o the_o time_n the_o power_n of_o darkness_n will_v all_o combine_v against_o thou_o to_o besiege_v and_o fight_v against_o thou_o and_o yea_o the_o very_a face_n of_o providence_n shall_v seem_v to_o frown_n and_o look_v black_a on_o thou_o to_o try_v whether_o thou_o will_v stick_v faithful_o to_o christ_n and_o the_o gospel_n and_o final_o if_o god_n call_v thou_o to_o leave_v all_o and_o rather_o to_o lay_v down_o thy_o life_n than_o to_o leave_v and_o lose_v christ_n thou_o must_v trample_v they_o all_o under_o thy_o foot_n prefer_v christ_n before_o father_n mother_n brethren_n wife_n and_o child_n though_o never_o so_o dear_o belove_v yea_o and_o thy_o very_a life_n too_o what_o say_v thou_o to_o this_o sinner_n will_v thou_o venture_v on_o have_v or_o take_v christ_n on_o these_o term_n sin_n ans_fw-fr for_o ever_o bless_v and_o holy_a lord_n god_n thou_o know_v how_o hard_o this_o task_n be_v for_o flesh_n and_o blood_n and_o not_o only_o hard_a but_o even_o impossible_a yet_o consider_v the_o absolute_a necessity_n of_o the_o choice_n now_o lay_v before_o i_o and_o in_o regard_n of_o that_o divine_a power_n whereby_o i_o find_v my_o heart_n make_v willing_a to_o make_v choice_n of_o christ_n on_o the_o term_n now_o mention_v i_o desire_v to_o choose_v and_o have_v he_o let_v god_n do_v with_o i_o and_o all_o that_o be_v dear_a to_o i_o what_o he_o please_v so_o he_o give_v i_o his_o christ_n i_o be_o so_o apprehensive_a of_o the_o sweet_a and_o soul_n enrich_v advantage_n which_o accompany_v the_o cross_n that_o i_o be_o very_o unwilling_a to_o be_v exempt_v from_o it_o if_o i_o may_v have_v my_o own_o choice_n i_o therefore_o through_o the_o divine_a spirit_n gracious_a power_n enable_v i_o hereto_o do_v yield_v my_o free_a and_o full_a consent_n to_o this_o matchless_a match_n cast_v myself_o on_o he_o when_o actual_o marry_v to_o he_o in_o a_o way_n of_o humble_a dependence_n for_o strength_n and_o power_n to_o act_n and_o suffer_v a_o in_o way_n of_o duty_n whatever_o become_v his_o disciple_n and_o follower_n and_o oh_o that_o god_n above_o with_o christ_n and_o the_o holy_a ghost_n may_v say_v amen_n to_o it_o matter_n be_v thus_o propose_v by_o the_o holy_a ghost_n and_o i_o the_o worst_a and_o most_o unworthy_a of_o sinner_n to_o be_v save_v be_v endue_v with_o power_n from_o he_o to_o close_v with_o the_o proposal_n make_v i_o immediate_o feel_v my_o whole_a heart_n and_o soul_n quicken_v within_o i_o and_o draw_v out_o to_o a_o effectual_a close_n with_o christ_n in_o the_o offer_v of_o the_o gospel_n like_o a_o ship_n stick_v in_o the_o sand_n which_o no_o strength_n or_o art_n of_o man_n can_v set_v a_o float_v till_o the_o full_a spring_n tide_n come_v and_o set_v she_o a_o float_v carry_v she_o forth_o into_o the_o broad_a ocean_n the_o quicken_a virtue_n of_o the_o holy_a ghost_n and_o the_o attract_v power_n of_o the_o lord_n jesus_n draw_v i_o to_o believe_v in_o he_o my_o soul_n cry_v out_o with_o a_o silent_a and_o a_o still_a voice_n my_o lord_n and_o my_o god_n thou_o be_v i_o to_o save_o i_o and_o i_o be_o thou_o to_o serve_v thou_o hereupon_o i_o feel_v as_o it_o be_v another_o spirit_n put_v into_o i_o whereby_o i_o be_v enable_v to_o understand_v and_o know_v the_o design_n of_o the_o great_a god_n in_o cause_v so_o great_a a_o change_n to_o pass_v upon_o i_o the_o holy_a ghost_n within_o i_o witness_v to_o his_o own_o work_n now_o wrought_v in_o my_o soul_n and_o seal_v i_o to_o the_o day_n of_o redemption_n in_o believe_v i_o feel_v a_o torrent_n of_o unspeakable_a joy_n come_v from_o above_o flow_v in_o upon_o i_o in_o such_o manner_n and_o measure_n as_o i_o believe_v no_o saint_n or_o angel_n in_o heaven_n can_v set_v forth_o or_o express_v as_o i_o feel_v it_o hereupon_o i_o fall_v into_o a_o holy_a ecstasy_n and_o divine_a rapture_n of_o unexpressible_a joy_n with_o these_o thought_n and_o expression_n within_o myself_o oh_o what_o a_o change_n be_v this_o which_o i_o now_o sensible_o feel_v a_o dead_a sinner_n bring_v to_o life_n again_o a_o rebel_n and_o a_o fugitive_n from_o god_n bring_v home_o and_o reconcile_v by_o the_o blood_n of_o the_o lamb._n a_o prisoner_n and_o a_o captive_n hold_v so_o long_o under_o the_o kill_a terror_n of_o the_o law_n and_o unmerciful_a usurpation_n and_o infernal_a assault_n of_o the_o power_n of_o darkness_n set_v free_a and_o manumit_v by_o the_o deliverer_n of_o god_n elect._n a_o undo_v forlorn_a sinner_n shut_v up_o under_o the_o power_n of_o unbelief_n who_o a_o while_n since_o will_v shun_v and_o fly_v from_o god_n if_o he_o know_v how_o for_o fear_n of_o his_o frown_n and_o the_o curse_v due_a for_o the_o breach_n of_o his_o law_n now_o ready_a to_o shoot_v himself_o into_o heaven_n and_o whimper_v and_o cry_v like_o a_o child_n till_o he_o be_v lodge_v in_o the_o bosom_n of_o god_n love_n oh_o my_o soul_n who_o can_v have_v think_v of_o this_o when_o the_o iron_n of_o the_o law_n severity_n have_v pierce_v thou_o so_o deep_o and_o when_o the_o apprehension_n lodge_v in_o thou_o of_o thy_o be_v a_o reprobate_n and_o forsake_v of_o god_n deliver_v thou_o up_o to_o desperation_n the_o very_a portal_n or_o entrance_n into_o hell_n itself_o where_o be_o i_o what_o be_v the_o matter_n what_o be_o i_o do_v what_o such_o a_o one_o as_o i_o save_v be_v it_o possible_a can_v it_o be_v be_o i_o not_o under_o a_o satanical_a dream_n or_o delusion_n lord_n help_v i_o to_o know_v if_o it_o be_v a_o delusion_n and_o undeceive_v i_o here_o i_o be_v at_o a_o stand_n for_o but_o a_o little_a space_n it_o be_v occasion_v by_o my_o call_n to_o mind_n what_o a_o deceitful_a enemy_n the_o devil_n be_v and_o how_o near_o he_o can_v go_v in_o imitate_v the_o spirit_n of_o god_n in_o cause_v flash_n of_o joy_n in_o the_o soul_n of_o a_o awaken_v sinner_n and_o think_v at_o the_o same_o time_n whether_o i_o be_v not_o so_o the_o spirit_n of_o adoption_n who_o begin_v his_o good_a and_o bless_a work_n in_o my_o soul_n do_v not_o leave_v i_o in_o this_o cloud_n but_o by_o his_o own_o elucidating_a and_o heart_n search_v virtue_n and_o power_n bring_v to_o my_o thought_n and_o consideration_n all_o the_o objection_n which_o either_o devil_n or_o carnal_a reason_n can_v possible_o make_v against_o my_o be_v save_v by_o christ_n and_o by_o manifest_v the_o father_n decree_n and_o purpose_n concern_v i_o in_o eternity_n and_o lay_v open_o the_o nature_n and_o design_n of_o the_o covenant_n of_o grace_n and_o the_o every_o way_n alsufficiency_n of_o the_o lord_n jesus_n to_o go_v through_o with_o the_o work_n he_o have_v undertake_v for_o i_o he_o full_o answer_v all_o objection_n and_o confute_v the_o false_a and_o sophistial_a reason_n bring_v in_o by_o satan_n and_o corrupt_a reason_n against_o my_o be_v save_v as_o he_o most_o powerful_o convince_v i_o of_o sin_n and_o the_o misery_n which_o thereby_o i_o bring_v upon_o myself_o and_o that_o when_o he_o become_v a_o spirit_n of_o bondage_n to_o fit_v i_o for_o the_o great_a physician_n so_o likewise_o now_o he_o be_v become_v a_o spirit_n of_o adoption_n he_o as_o powerful_o convince_v i_o of_o that_o spotless_a and_o everlasting_a righteousness_n of_o the_o mediator_n god-man_n by_z and_o for_o which_o i_o be_v justify_v in_o the_o person_n of_o my_o surety_n when_o at_o his_o resurrection_n god_n the_o father_n justify_v and_o acquit_v he_o from_o all_o charge_n of_o sin_n whereto_o he_o become_v liable_a and_o obnoxious_a when_o he_o strike_v hand_n with_o the_o father_n as_o a_o surety_n for_o i_o and_o the_o rest_n of_o the_o elect._n the_o twelve_o thing_n here_o follow_v he_o particular_o assure_v i_o of_o and_o that_o as_o full_o and_o sensible_o as_o ever_o i_o be_v sensible_a that_o i_o see_v natural_a light_n or_o darkness_n 1._o he_o assure_v i_o that_o