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A27397 Some prison meditations of an humble heart given forth from a child in Israel, whose soul very dearly loveth his Heavenly Fathers children : much desiring, (and travelling in spirit for) their prosperity in the truth, even as for his own soul ... / by a sufferer for the truth in the common goal of Edmondsbury, whose earthen vessel bears the name of William Bennit. Bennit, William, d. 1684. 1666 (1666) Wing B1893; ESTC R32569 25,285 28

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conscience and are proved treacherous children denying their father who begat them and casting off their mother who traveled in pain to bring them forth and hating the womb that bore them and paps which gave them suck this hath come upon them through carelesness and sloathfulness and through reasoning and consulting with the enemy of their souls and through looking at the trouble trial sufferings streights and difficulties which appeared in their way and through lusting after the flesh pots of Egipt through looking back into the ease pleasure riches and honour of this world which hath carried them away captive again into Egipt into the house of bondage again wherefore oh my soul watch watch and stand fast in that liberty which the truth Christ the power of God hath brought thee into and take heed thou be not again intangled with the yoak of bondage Oh my soul if there be some who once were fresh green tender living and fruitful unto God who now hath lost their freshness greenness tenderness and fruitfulness towards God and now coldness deadness and barrenness is come upon them to God-ward and their love and zeal for the Lord waxed cold Oh my soul if it have thus happened unto some oh how can thou but fear before the Lord oh my soul least the same should happen unto thee also And if some there be whose minds are gotten into a full liberty and are at ease in the flesh living above the cross of Christ Jesus which crucifies to the world and are grown careless and negligent spending their time often with vain talking foolish jesting and needless communication who formerly spent their time in waiting upon the Lord in meditating and exercising themselves in the things of God being very watchful over their thoughts words works and actions having the pure fear of the Righteous God fresh in their hearts standing in awe of him always least they should sin against him in thought word and deed lying down and rising up in his pure fear eating and drinking and doing all things in the pure fear of the Lord knowing a stay to their minds a stop to their thoughts a bridle to their tongues a watch before their mouth and a fearing in their hearts least they should not be watchful enough over their lives and conversations yea even over their very carriage and gesture their words being very few sober and savoury even savouring of the grace of God in their hearts they desiring and endeavouring very diligently to walk so as that they might in life carriage and conversation be as holy patterns and righteous examples of love of peace of holiness and purity of meekness and lowliness of tenderness and pitty of mercy and compassion of patience and long suffering of sobriety and gentleness c. that so they might walk as becometh Saints blameless and harmless as sons of God without rebuke in the middest of a crooked and perverse generation among whom to shine as lights to the adorning of the truth of God professed by them and to the glory honour and praise of the Lord God and to the joy comfort refreshment peace and consolation of their own souls Oh this condition which once they were in was very sweet blessed and happy and if now they have in measure lost this sweet condition and so in measure are departed from their first love and grown careless and negligent puft up with knowledge without life which only keeps humble satisfying themselves with talking of what they formerly enjoyed of the Lord ●nd of what they have done and suffered for the Lord c. I say if it be thus with some then oh my soul in the sence of what is come upon them how can thou but fear dread and tremble in heart before the Lord not in the least measure or degree to watch for evil in any or to have an eye open to spy out the nakedness of another or to take an occasion against them because of their failings and haltings or being b●sie in looking at others conditions and in keeping their Vinyards and neglect the keeping of thy own Nay nay oh my Soul let it not be so with thee but if thou as thou setteth in thy habitation without desiring at all to look abroad at others seeth that it hath and is happened unto many according as is forementioned then oh my soul only let it be as a warning unto thee the more to fear before the Lord and to be the more watchful in the light and to keep closer unto the Lord least the same things should happen unto thee oh my soul as hath happened unto them unto whom let thy tenderness extend and thy dear love abound with secret crys and strong groanings unto the Lord thy God on their behalfes and on thy own behalf that thou may be kept and preserved unto the end Oh alass for thee my poor soul how weak art thou and how unable to stand as of thy self wherefore cleave cleave and keep close unto the Lord thy tender compassionate God and then assuredly the Lord will cleave unto thee and will not leave thee oh my soul wherefore lift up thy head in the strength of the Lord and look up unto the holy one whose dwelling is on high in the holy place and with thee oh my soul as thou art kept humble in heart contrite in spirit meek in mind and trembleth at his word and look not at thy own weakness feebleness and inability but keep thy eye unto the Lord and trust in his name relie and depend upon his arme and hope in his tender bowels who maketh the poor rich the weak strong the simple wise wait thou patiently upon him and look not out at the greatness of others measures neither look thou at the smallness of thy own least faintness weariness and discouragement should thereby come in upon thee and thou murmur because thy measure is no greater but be thou contented and truly satisfied with thy portion and be faithful unto the Lord in thy measure and being faithful in the little thou shall be made ruler over much and enter into the joy of the Lord wait upon him who hath freely given in thee what thou hath of him and he can give thee more there was nothing in thee that was of thee which induced the Lord to communicate that measure of his fulness unto thee which he hath dispensed to thee but of his own meer mercy tender love and free grace who of his own free will hath begotten thee again unto a living hope so that thou right well knoweth that it is not he that willeth nor he that runeth but God who sheweth mercy Oh thou had not awakened out of the sleep of sin and corruption had not the mighty God thundred from his dwelling place upon thee and awakened thee oh my soul surely thou had never been raised out of the dust of sin and grave of iniquity had not the Lord of his own free will raised thee up
Jerusalem and make her a praise in the whole Earth for ever more Oh my soul be watchful and wary that thou dost not in the least degree seek glory honor and praise to thy self and to be had in esteem by others but oh wait to feel self wholly baptized into death and made of no reputation and take heed that thy left hand know not what thy right hand doth and do nothing to be seen of men or whereby to be accounted of by others but in all thou doth appeal unto him who seeth in secret and he it is who will reward thee openly seek thou to be only known and manifested to the pure un-erring witness of God in all consciences and to stand justified and approved by it and that is enough no honor no glory no praise but to God alone oh strive not for Lordship and Mastership over others but rather strive to be most meekest lowest humblest tender and contrite in mind and spirit condescending even to the lowest and serving the meanest in love seeking peace and unity among bretheren with all self-denyal bearing forbearing and forgiving for the Seeds sake bearing with the infirmities of the weak and with the haltings of the feeble watching for the good in all without respect of persons but not to watch for evil in any for that is abominable in the eyes of the Lord and seek thou the glory of God alone the honor of his name the exaltation and spreading forth of his truth the freedome growth and reign of the Seed of God in the hearts of all the prosperity of his tender Lambs Babes and Children that they may all stand in this day of tryal and be preserved in this hour of darkness and temptation and even to seek the good of all yea the good of thy greatest Enemies and have nothing but love and good will towards thy greatest Persecuters seeking the salvation of all people but not the destruction of any And oh my soul be circumspect and vigilent to walk so as becometh the Gospel and thee to be an adorning to the truth of God and to be as an holy example and righteous pattern unto all people where ever I come that I may be unto the Lord as a sweet smell and delectable savour that the blessing of the Lord my God may be poured down upon me yet more and more that I might become fruitful unto the Lord my God and be an instrument in his hand amongst the Sons and Daughters of Men to the praise glory honor and renown of the Lord Almighty for ever more oh my soul watch and fear before the Lord and take heed thou do not that thing to please others which thou knowest is not approved by the Lord keep thy eye unto the Lord and look not out at others to walk by imitation and if thou seeth him or her one or another what ever they be accounted of do those things which the Lord allowes thee not to do do not thee do them because an other doth them but watch and keep close unto the Lord and take counsel of him Oh my soul do not judg or justifie those things which thou hath not a true discerning in because an other judges or justifies them but rather be passive in that matter and stand still and wait upon the Lord for a perfect understanding in all things Oh my soul seek not liberty to the flesh beware of that counted freedome which is indeed bondage which hath stollen upon many in their latter days oh my soul indeavour to put off those things which in their place are said to be lawful which are a means to hinder thy growth into the Eternal and oh walk wisely before all Men giving no offence to the Jew nor Gentile nor to the Church in God knowing that there is that which is lawful but not expedient there is that which is lawful but it edifies not wherefore forbear what may be forborn and yet be not brought under the power of any thing below the life but seek after those things which make for edification love peace and unity for God is the Author of peace and not the Author of confusion strife contention and debate Oh my soul thou doth greatly desire that I might not appear in the sight of any of the Lords Lambs and little ones to be more then what I really am in and through the grace of God by which I am what I am and his grace which he hath freely bestowed upon me hath not been in vain praises to his name for ever Oh I would not be accounted of by any little one to be more then what I am in the Lord but rather let me be hid least honour should be ascribed unto that unto which it doth not belong for indeed all honour belongs to God alone alass all flesh is as grass and what is Man he is but a Vessel wherein God may appear or disappear as he pleaseth and indeed the Lord is jealous of his glory and he will not give it unto another wherefore my soul seek the glory honour and praise to God alone unto whom only it is due for ever and ever more Oh my soul thou doth not want the love the dear unfained love of the Lords dear babes tender lambs and children and oh thou desireth thou may not want their prayers for thee oh my soul that I may be preserved in this day of trial and be enabled by the Lord to finish my Testimony for him to his praise and my comfort joy and peace for ever more Oh my soul fear thou before the living God and very diligently take heed least thou who stand'st should fall as several hath done to their own woe and to the dishonour of God and to the causing his unchangable Truth to be evil spoken of and many seekers after Righteousness to stumble and the hands of Sions enemies thereby strengthened against the faithful of the Lord w●ose hearts are made sad whom the Lord hath not made sad even in the sense of the sad condition of those who once in some measure were acquainted with the Lord once tasted of his goodness and graciousness of his sweet unspeakable love and peace and even in some measure tasted and handled of the word of life and of the Powers of the World to come who were delivered out of spiritual Egypt by an out-stretched Arm and Mighty Power and by the same power carried through the Spiritual sea and wilderness and did in measure eat of the spiritual meat and drink of the Spiritual Rock which was made unto them as a pillar of fire by night and a pillar of a cloud by day c. and yet behold they are drawn back again by the enemy of their soul through their yielding unto his temptations and receiving his proffers and are turned as the Dog to his vomit and as the sow that was washed to her wallowing again in the mire and hath even made shipwrack of faith and a good