should ask them Questions in these matters After a little conference hereabout it was concluded That they should first make confession of their experience in the Lords Work upon their hearts because in so doing it is like something will be discerned of their knowledg in the Doctrines of Religion and if after those Confessions there should yet be cause to inquire further touching any Point of Religion it might be fitly done at last Whereupon we so proceeded and called them forth in order to make confession It was moved in the Assembly by Reverend Mr. Wilson that their former Confessions also as well as these which they made at present might be read unto the Assembly because it was evident that they were daunted much to speak before so great and grave an Assembly as that was but time did not permit it so to be then yet now in my writing of their Confessions I will take that course that so it may appear what encouragement there was to proceed so far as we did and that such as may reade these their Confessions may the better discern of the reality of the Grace of Christ in them The first which was called forth is named Totherswamp whose former Confession read before the Elders was as followeth BEfore I prayed unto God the English when I came unto their houses often said unto me Pray to God but I having many friends who loved me and I loved them and they cared not for praying to God and therefore I did not But I thought in my heart that if my friends should die and I live I then would pray to God soon after God so wrought that they did almost all die few of them left and then my heart feared and I thought that now I will pray unto God and yet I was ashamed to pray and if I eat and did not pray I was ashamed of that also so that I had a double shame upon me Then you came unto us and taught us and said unto us Pray unto God and after that my heart grew strong and I was no more ashamed to pray but I did take up praying to God yet at first I did not think of God and eternal Life but only that the English should love me and I loved them But after I came to learn what sin was by the Commandements of God and then I saw all my sins lust gaming c. he named more You taught That Christ knoweth all our hearts and seeth what is in them if humility or anger or evil thoughts Christ seeth all that is in the heart then my heart feared greatly because God was angry for all my sins yea now my heart is full of evil thoughts and my heart runs away from God therefore my heart feareth and mourneth Every day I see sin in my heart one man brought sin into the World and I am full of that sin and I break Gods Word every day I see I deserve not pardon for the first mans sinning I can do no good for I am like the Devil nothing but evil thoughts and words and works I have lost all likeness to God and goodness and therefore every day I sin against God and I deserve death and damnation The first man brought sin first and I do every day ad to that sin more sins but Christ hath done for us all righteousness and died for us because of our sins and Christ teacheth us That if we cast away our sins and trust in Christ then God will pardon all our sins this I beleeve Christ hath done I can do no righteousness but Christ hath done it for me this I beleeve and therefore I do hope for pardon When I first heard the Commandements I then took up praying to God and cast off sin Again When I heard and understood Redemption by Christ then I beleeved Jesus Christ to take away my sins every Commandement taught me sin and my duty to God When you ask me Why do I love God I answer Because he giveth me all outward blessings as food clothing children all gifts of strength speech hearing especially that he giveth us a Minister to teach us and giveth us Government and my heart feareth lest Government should reprove me but the greatest mercy of all is Christ to give us pardon and life Totherswamp The Confession which he made on the Fast day before the great Assembly was as followeth I Confess in the presence of the Lord before I prayed many were my sins not one good word did I speak not one good thought did I think not one good action did I doe I did act all sins and full was my heart of evil thoughts when the English did tell me of God I cared not for it I thought it enough if they loved me I had many friends that loved me and I thought if they died I would pray to God and afterward it so came to pass then was my heart ashamed to pray I was ashamed if I prayed not I was ashamed a double shame was upon me when God by you taught us very much ashamed was my heart then you taught us that Christ knoweth all our harts therefore truly he saw my thoughts and I had thought if my kindred should die I would pray to God therfore they dying I must now pray to God and therefore my heart feared for I thought Christ knew my thoughts then I heard you teach The first man God made was named Adam God made a Covenant with him Do and live thou and thy Children if thou do not thou must die thou and thy Children And we are Children of Adam poor sinners therefore we all have sinned for we have broke Gods Covenant therefore evil is my heart therefore God is very angry with me we sin against him every day but this great mercy God hath given us he hath given us his only Son and promiseth That whosoever beleeveth in Christ shall be saved for Christ hath dyed for us in our stead for our sins and he hath done for us all the words of God for I can do no good act only Christ can and only Christ hath done all for us Christ have deserved Pardon for us and risen again he hath ascended to God and doth ever pray for us therefore all Beleevers Souls shall goe to Heaven to Christ But when I heard that word of Christ Christ said Repent and Beleeve and Christ seeth who Repenteth then I said dark and weak is my Soul and I am one in darkness I am a very sinful man and now I pray to Christ for life Hearing you teach that Word that the Scribes and Pharisees said Why do thy Disciples break the Tradition of the Fathers Christ answered Why do ye make void the Commandements of God Then my heart feared that I do so when I teach the Indians because I cannot teach them right and thereby make the word of God vain Again Christ said If the blind lead the blind they will both fall into the ditch
therefore I desire to beleeve Christ and mortifie sin as long as I live and I pray Christ to help me to beleeve and I thank God for all his mercies every day and now I confess before God that I loath my self for my sins and beg pardon Thus far he went in his Confession but they being slow of speech time was far spent and a great assembly of English understanding nothing he said only waiting for my interpretation many of them went forth others whispered and a great confusion was in the House and abroad and I perceived that the graver sort thought the time long therfore knowing he had spoken enough unto satisfaction at least as I judged I here took him off Then one of the Elders asked if I took him off or whether had he finished I answered That I took him off So after my reading what he had said we called another The next who was called forth was Ponampam who had formerly twice made confession and both read before the Elders His first Confession was as followeth VVHen God first had mercy on us when they first prayed at Noonanetam I heard of it and the first word that I heard was That all from the rising of the sun to the going down thereof shall pray unto God and I thought Oh! let it be so After I considered what the word may be and understood by it That God was mercyfull afterwards when you alwayes came to us I only heard the word I did not understand it nor meditate on it yet I found that al my doings were sins against God then I prayed unto God Afterwards I heard That God would pardon all that beleeve in Christ and quickly after I saw my sins to be very many I saw that in every thing I did I sinned when I saw these my sins against God I was weary of my self angry with my self in my heart but the free mercy of God caused me to hear his word and then I feared because every day sin was in my heart and I thought in vain I looked to Christ Then hearing this word of Christ that Christ taught through every town and village Repent and beleeve If any one repent and mourn and beleeve I will pardon him then my heart thought I will pray to God as long as I live but somtimes my heart was ashamed and somtimes my heart was strong and God seeth my heart I now desire to repent and beleeve in Christ and that Christ will pardon me and shew mercy to us all Ponampam His Second Confession was as followeth WHen I prayed not unto God I ever sinned every day but when Noonanetam Indians first prayed I heard of it and three nights I considered whether I should pray or no but I found not how to pray unto God but how not to pray but then I heard Gods free mercy in his word call all to pray from the rising of the Sun to the going down thereof yet presently I lost that word and sinned again and committed many sins Then Gods free mercy shewed me in the Catechism That God made all the World yet my heart did not beleeve because I knew I sprung from my Father and Mother I did alwaies act many sins because I was born in sin and in vain I heard Gods word Then I heard Gods Word That Christ was made man yet I did but hear it though I thought it might be true I thought I would cast off all sin but then I found that I loved them very much I heard Gods promise to Abraham To increase his Children as the Stars for number but I beleeved not because he had but one Son and thus I cast off the word and committed sins I heard also from the word That all men are not alike to God some are first to God or preferred before other but I did not beleeve it because all men die alike therefore they are not the Sons of God and God is not their Father So still I beleeved not the Word but broke Gods Word dayly and in vain I heard Gods Word Afterward I heard that Word of God to Moses I 'le be with thy mouth for who maketh the seeing Eye or hearing Ear is it not I saith the Lord then I understood a little of God and of his Word but still I acted much sin Afterward I heard that Word of Free-Grace Repent and beleeve the Gospel and who ever beleeve shall be saved then my heart beleeved then I saw I had prayed but afore man so was my hearing or any other duty and I saw other of my sins against God and then I saw that my heart did not beleev as it should I desired to be open in my doings I saw I brake every command of God yet presently I lost this and the Word of Christ was of little worth unto me and I saw I loved sin very much Then again I heard that word That all shall pray from the rising to the sitting Sun then I thought I will pray to God and yet only my tongue prayed Then again I heard the Catechism That God made Adam and Eve and al the world and a little I beleeved that word Afterward I heard another word That they are Bastards not Sons whom God afflicts not I did a little think this to be a truth and then I prayed more unto God and yet I saw I feared man more than God but notwithstanding I have prayed unto God from that day unto this day yet I see I sin every day When I heard that Word that God spake to Moses in the Mount by a Trumpet and said Thou shalt not have any other God thou shalt not lust nor lye nor kill c. I saw all these I had broken I heard the Word but sinned in what I heard I heard that my heart must break and melt for sin and beleeve in Christ and that we should try our hearts if it be so yet I could try but little nor find but little but still I sinned much I heard that Word That they which cast off God God will cast off them and I feared lest God should cast me away because of my sins I was ashamed of my sins and my heart melted and I thought I wil give my self to God and to Christ and do what he will for ever and because of this promise of pardon to al that repent and beleeve my heart desireth to pray to God as long as I live Ponampam The Confession he made on the Fast day before the great Assembly was as followeth BEfore I prayed unto God I committed all manner of sins and when I heard the Catechism That God made me I did not beleeve it because I knew I sprang from my Father and Mother and therefore I despised the Word and therefore again I did act all sins and I did love them Then God was merciful to me to let me hear that Word That al shal pray from the rising to the sâ—â—ting Sun and
the Commands of God I have been full of lusts and thefts c. all my life and all the time I have lived I have done contrary to the Command of God And I am now grieved now I hear of all my sins I beleeve Christ doth convert me to God and he calleth Children and old men and all men to turn unto God and from their sins he calleth to sorrow and repentance and ever to beleeve in Christ and who ever doth this shall be ever blessed in Heaven but if he do it not he perisheth if he turn not from sin dying he shall go to Hell for ever I think also that so long as I live God doth give me life I beleeve that we ought to gather into a Church to serve God as long as we live But I do not know whether yet God hath pardoned my sins or not but I know Christ and I know he hath already dyed for me because I cannot redeem my self Another who made Confession was named Poquanum which was as followeth His first Confession A Great while ago the English would tell me of God but I hated it and would go out of doors when they so spake unto me and I murmured at it When the Indians first prayed to God I did not think there was a God or that the Bible was Gods Book but that wise men made it When some prayed to God I went with them but I did not know God Afterward my mind was changed thus far That I desired to be wise as others were but yet I knew nothing of God yea after I prayed to God I still did think there was no God Afterward I found this in my heart That we pray to God for our souls then I thought all my praying was nothing because I was so foolish that I never thought of dying but after I learned That all must die and good mens souls go to Heaven and then I thought of dying and of my soul but then I thought we prayed for nothing but that our souls might go to Heaven I knew nothing of Christ But after when the Children were Catechised and taught the ten Commandements I hearkned and by them I came to know that there was a God and that there was sin against God and hereby God made me to see all my sins both before I prayed to God and since and I saw Gods anger against me for my sins before and since I prayed because sometimes I came not to the Meeting brake my word regarded not my children and I see sin in me and therfore I do greatly fear Gods anger Poquanum His Second Confession was as followeth BEfore I prayed unto God I greatly sinned I prayed to many gods and used Panwaning Adultery Lust Lying and al other sins and many were my sins evil thoughts evil words and nothing else but evil hatred and pride and all sins against God coveting other mens goods when I stole I added lying to it when I had done I was very proud I much hatred many men and loved them not because I was angry with them and thus I did every day I would slander my neighbors great was my pride I was dayly angry with my neighbors my heart was alwaies full of such waies When the English said Pray to God I cared not for God because I loved sin nor did I desire that God should forgive my sin Afterward I heard the word That if we truly pray mourn for sin cast off sin desire to hear the word and beleeve in Christ God will then pardon and when he dieth Christ will lead him to Heaven I much rejoyced to hear of this pardon but I must truly beleeve in Christ else I shal not have pardon and first I thought God will not pardon me because I still sinned But afterward I heard That though we should pray as long as we live and never sin more yet that was of no value but we must beleeve in Christ else there is no pardon and this I rejoyced at Another who made Confession is named Nookau which is as followeth His first Confession FIve years ago before I prayed I was sick I thought I should die at which I was much troubled and knew not what to do then I thought if there be a God above and he give life again then I shall beleeve there is a God above and God did give me life and after that I took up praying to God Now I beleeve God one God that made all the World and governeth it yet this I only said with my mouth I did not truly beleeve it in my heart Then I understood That God made the first man good and like God but he sinned and we have lost Gods Image and are like the Devil and deserve Hell and Damnation this I now know and see that I am foolish and sometime think not of God in an whol day sometime I do think of God every day sometime my heart greatly sinneth then sometime I presently fear but again sometimes I am slow to fear I am very foolish because I do not understand the Word but break the Word of God I beleeve the Catechism we learn to be according to the Word of God but the writings of the Bible are the very Words of God and the Spirit of God is the Word and that God giveth all things that are good I now see my sins before I prayed unto God and since and I beleeve that God seeth them all and my heart feareth because I do not yet forsake my sins and I think God will not forgive me because my heart is wicked I know not when Christ forgiveth my sins others may know but I desire that my sins may be pardoned for Christ his sake Nookau His Second Confession BEfore I prayed to God I greatly sinned every day I was proud and lived in adultery lying c. and my heart alwaies full of evil thoughts and when the English would instruct me I then thought my waies evil but the business of praying to God good then I did think if I could first understand then I would pray to God and I was glad to hear of any that did pray to God When I heard that word at Cohannet Who ever lacketh wisdom let him ask it of God let fools pray to God and he will give them wisdom I thought I was a fool and I beleeved that Word of God I heard that word of the dry bones God bid them hear and promised to put flesh and sinews and skin upon them and make them live therefore I desired to hear because I beleeved the dry bones and that I was one that did not know God afterward I was glad of praying to God Sometimes I beleeved not God and God will not look on such alwaies I thought God will not forgive me I wondred at all that prayed to God because I thought God had given them wisdom then I thought I am glad I pray to God Sometime my heart is broken because I shall
away afar off but I could think of no place but I should be in danger to be killed Then again I much remembred my sins and again I thought What will become of me if I die in my sins and then I thought it was good for me to pray unto God so long as I live and then my heart turned to praying unto God and I did pray and my heart feared when I heard the word read and taught and I was glad to hear the Word of God and then I purposed to pray as long as I live Sometime I did dayly see my sins and fear for I cannot get pardon only in Jesus Christ Then I heard that word I thank thee oh Heavenly father that thou hast revealed these things to babes and that word that we must forgive each other then I saw that I beleeved not one word from Christ not any word of God and dayly my heart wept that Christ might pardon all my sins against God and Christ and now unto this day my heart saith I desire the good waies of praying to God but I cannot know them of my self but Jesus Christ must teach me them When I heard That only Christ must teach me them When I heard That only Christ must pardon our sins and that for Christ God will pardon our sins this day I rejoyce to hear that word of God and all that Christ hath taught me and now I purpose That while I live I will pray unto God and Jesus Christ only and this day I see I cannot know how to find good thoughts but this day I desire pardon for all my sins and to cast them away Another who made Confession is named Ephraim his Indian Name I have forgotten It is as followeth ALL the daies I have lived I have been in a poor foolish condition I cannot tell all my sins all my great sins I do not see them When I first heard of praying to God I could not sleep quietly I was so troubled ever I thought I would forsake the place because of praying to God my life hath been like as if I had been a mad man Last yeer I thought I would leave all my sins yet I see I do not leave off sinning to this day I now think I shall never be able to forsake my sins I think sometimes the Word of God is false yet I see there is no giving over that I might follow sin I must pray to God I do not truly in my heart repent and I think that God wil not forgive me my sins every day my heart sinneth and how will Christ forgive such an one I pray but outwardly with my mouth not with my heart I cannot of my self obtain pardon of my sins I cannot tell all the sins that I have done if I should tell you an whol day together I do every morning desire that my sins may be pardoned by Jesus Christ this my heart saith but yet I fear I cannot forsake my sins because I cannot see all my sins I hear That if we repent and beleeve in Christ all our sins shall be pardoned therefore I desire to leave off my sins This poor Publican was the lâ—st which made his Confession before I read them unto the Elders and the last of them I shall now publish I will shut up these Confessions with the Confession if I may so call it or rather with the Expression and manifestation of saith by two little Infants of two yeers old and upward under three yeers of age when the died and departed out of this world The Story is this THis Spring in the beginning of the yeer 1652. the Lord was pleased to afflict sundry of our praying Indians with that grievous disease of the Bloody-Flux whereof some with great torments in their bowels died among which were two little Children of the age above-said and at that time both in one house being together taken with that disease The first of these Children in the extremities of its torments lay crying to God in these words God and Jesus Christ God and Jesus Christ help me and when they gave it any thing to eat it would greedily take it as it is usual at the approach of death but first it would cry to God Oh God and Jesus Christ bless it and then it would take it and in this manner it lay calling upon God and Jesus Christ untill it died The mother of this Child also died of that disease at that time The Father of the Child told me this story with great wonderment at the grace of God in teaching his Child so to call upon God The name of the Father is Nishohkou whose Confession you have before Three or four daies after another Child in the same house sick of the same disease was by a divine hand doubtless sensible of the approach of death an unusual thing at that age and called to its Father and said Father I am going to God several times repeating it I am going to God The mother as other mothers use to do had made for the Child a little Basket a little Spoon and a little Tray these things the child was wont to be greatly delighted withal as all children will therefore in the extremity of the torments they set those things before it a little to divert the mind and cheer the spirit but now the child takes the Basket and puts it away and said I will leave my Basket behind me for I am going to God I will leave my Spoon and Tray behind me putting them away for I am going to God and with these kind of expressions the same night finished its course and died The Father of this child is named Robin Speen whose Confessions you have before and in one of them he maketh mention of this child that died in faith When he related this story to me he said He could not tell whether the sorrow for the death of his child or the joy for its faith were greater when it died These Examples are a testimony That they teach their children the knowledg and fear of God whom they now call upon and also that the Spirit of God co-worketh with their instructions who teacheth by man more than man is able to do I have now finished all that I purpose to publish at this time the Lord give them Acceptance in the hearts of his Saints to engage them the more to pray for them and Oh! that their judgings of themselves and breathings after Christ might move others that have more means than they have but as yet regard it not to do the like and much more abundantly FINIS * Psalm 101. 2.
thought I am a poor sinner and poor is my heart then I prayed to God to teach me to do that which he requireth and to pray aright Afterward hearing that word Who ever looks upon a Woman to lust after her hath already committed Adultry with her in his heart then I thought I had done all manner of sins in the sight of God because he seeth lust in the heart and knoweth all the evil thoughts of my heart and then I did pray unto God Oh! give me Repentance and Pardon Afterwards when I did teach among the Indians I was much humbled because I could not reade right and that I sinned in it for I saw that when I thought to do a good work I sinned in doing it for I knew not what was right nor how to do it In the night I was considering of my sins and could not find what to do three nights I considered what to do and at last God shewed me mercy and shewed me what I should do And then I desired to learn to read Gods Word and hearing that if we ask wisdom of God he will give it then I did much pray to God that he would teach me to reade After a years time I thought I did not rightly seek and I thought I sinned because I did not rightly desire to read Gods Word and I thought my praying was sinful and I feared how should I my wife and child be cloathed if I spend my time in learning to reade but then God was merciful to me and shewed me that Word Say not what shall I eat or drink or wherewith shall I be cloathed wicked men seek after these but first seek the Kingdom of Heaven and these things shall be added to you then I prâ—yed God to teach me this word and that I might do it and then I desired to read Gods word what ever I wanted Afterward hearing that we must make a Town and gather a Church at Natick my heart disliked that place but hearing that word That Christ met two Fishers and said follow me and I will make you fishers of men and they presently left all and followed him hearing this I was much troubled because I had not beleeved Christ for I would not follow him to make a Church nor had I done what he commanded me and then I was troubled for all my sins Again hearing that word That the blind man called after Christ saying thou Son of David have mercy on me Christ asked him what he would have him do he said Lord open my eyes and presently Christ gave him sight and he followed Christ then again my heart was troubled for I thought I still beleeve not because I do not follow Christ nor hath he yet opened mine eyes then I prayed to Christ to open mine eyes that I might see what to do because I am blind and cannot see how to follow Christ and do what he commandeth and I prayed to Christ Teach me Lord what to do and to do what thou sayest and I prayed that I might follow Christ and then I thought I will follow Christ to make a Church All this trouble I had to be brought to be willing to make a Church and quickly after God laid upon me more trouble by sickness and death and then I much prayed to God for life for we were all sick and then God would not hear me to give us life but first one of my Children died and after that my Wife then I was in great sorrow because I thought God would no hear me and I thought it was because I would not follow him therefore he hears not me then I found this sin in my heart That I was angry at the punishment of God but afterward I considered I was a poor sinner I have nothing nor Child nor Wife I deserve that God should take away all mercies from me and then I repented of my sins and did much pray and I remembred the promise to follow Christ and my heart said I had in this sinned that followed not Christ and therefore I cryed for pardon of this sin and then hearing of this Word Who ever beleeveth in Christ his sins are pardoned he beleeving that Christ died for us and I beleeved Again hearing that Word If ye be not converted and become as a little Child you cannot go to Heaven then my heart thought I do not this but I deserve Hell fire for ever and then I prayed Christ Oh! turn me from my sin and teach me to hear thy Word and I prayed to my Father in Heaven and after this I beleeved in Christ for pardon Afterward I heard that Word That it is a shame for a man to wear long hair and that there was no such custom in the Churches at first I thought I loved not long hair but I did and found it very hard to cut it off and then I prayed God to pardon that sin also Afterward I thought my heart cared not for the Word of God but then I thought I would give my self up unto the Lord to do all his Word Afterward I heard that word If thy right foot offend thee cut it off or thy right hand or thy right eye its better to go to Heaven with one foot or hand or eye than having both to go to Hell then I thought my hair had been a stumbling to me therefore I cut it off and grieved for this fin and prayed for pardon After hearing that word Come unto me all ye that are weary and heavie laden with your sins and I will give rest to your souls then my heart thought that I do dayly hate my sins Oh! that I could go to Christ and Christ looketh I should come unto him therfore I will go unto him and therfore then I prayed Oh! Christ help me to come unto thee and I prayed because of all my sins that they may be pardoned For the first man was made like God in holiness and righteousness and God gave him his Covenant but Adam sinned beleeving the Devil therefore God was angry and therefore all we Children of Adam are like the Devil and dayly sin and break every Law of God full of evil thoughts words and works and only Christ can deliver us from our sins and he that beleeveth in Christ is pardoned but my heart of my self cannot beleeve Satan hath power in me but I cry to God Oh! give me faith and pardon my sin because Christ alone can deliver me from Hell therefore I pray Oh! Jesus Christ deliver me Christ hath provided the new Covenant to save Beleevers in Christ therefore I desire to give my soul to Christ for pardon of all my sins the first Covenant is broke by sin and we deserve Hell but Christ keepeth for us the new Covenant and therfore I betrust my soul with Christ Again I desire to beleeve in Christ because Christ will come to judgment and all shall rise again and all Beleevers in this life shall then be saved
I have sinned I beleeve that if I repent and be humbled and pray not only outwardly but inwardly and beleeve in Christ then God will pardon all my sin but I cannot get pardon of sin I cannot deserve pardon but only Christ hath merited pardon for us I cannot deliver my self from all my sins but Christ redeemeth and delivereth from all sin I deserve not one mercy of God but Christ hath merited all mercies for us The next are the Confessions of Robin Speene who three several times came forth and confessed as followeth His first Confession I Was ashamed because you taught to pray to God and I did not take it up I see God is angry with me for all my sins and he hath afflicted me by the death of three of my children and I fear God is still angry because great are my sins and I fear lest my children be not gone to Heaven because I am a great sinner yet one of my children prayed to God before it died and therefore my heart rejoyceth in that I remember my Panwaning for he was a Panwan my lust my gaming and all my sins I know them by the Commandements of God and God heareth and seeth them all I cannot deliver my self from sin therefore I do need Christ because of all my sins I desire pardon and I beleeve that God calls all to come to Christ and that he delivereth us from sin Robin Speen His Second Confession I Have found out one word more great are my sins and I do not know how to repent nor do I know the evil of my sins only this one word now I confess I want Christ this day I want him I do not truly beleeve nor repent I see my sin and I need Christ but I desire now to be redeemed and I now ask you this Question What is Redemption I answered him by shewing him our estate by Nature and desert the price which Christ paid for us and how it is to be applied to every particular person which done he proceeded in his Confession thus I yet cannot tell whether God hath pardoned my sins I forget the Word of God but this I desire that my sins may de pardoned but my heart is foolish and a great part of the Word stayeth not in my heart strongly I desire to cast all my sins out of my heart but I remember my sins that I may get them pardoned I think God doth not yet hear my prayers in this because I cannot keep the Word of God only I desire to hear the Word and that God would hear me Robin Speen His Third Confession ONe word more I cal to mind Great is my sin this saith my heart I have found this sin when I first heard you teach that all the world from the rising to the sitting Sun should pray to God I then wondered aâ— it and thought I being a great sinner how shal I pray to God and when I saw many come to the Meeting I wondred at it But now I do not wonder at that work of God and therefore I think that I do now greatly sin and now I desire again to wonder at Gods Works and I desire to rejoyce in Gods good waies Now I am much ashamed and fear because I have deserved eternal wrath by my sins my heart is evil my heart doth contrary to God and this I desire that I may be redeemed for I cannot help my self but only Jesus Christ hath done al this for me and I deserve no good but I beleeve Christ hath deserved all for us and I give my self unto Christ that he may save me because he knoweth eternal life and can give it I cannot give it to my self therefore I need Jesus Christ my heart is full of evil thoughts and Christ only can keep my soul from them because he hath paid for my deliverance from them The next are the Confessions of Nishohkou who twice made preparitory Confessions the first of which only was read before the Elders GOD in Heaven is merciful and I am sinful when I first heard the Word of God I neither saw nor understood but after when you taught these words Be wise Oh all ye people and beleeve in Jesus Christ then I prayed unto God yet afterwards I sinned and almost forsook praying to God Afterward I understood That God who made all the World was merciful to sinners and truly I saw my heart very sinful because I promised God to pray as long as I live but my heart hath not so done Again I promised God I will follow Christ in al things and now I find my heart backward and not so forward to make a Church God promiseth If foolish ones pray to God for Wisdom he will give it this Promise I beleeve but I find my heart full of temptations but now I promise God as in the Psalm * All my works shal be done in wisdom for I confess al my works and words have been foolish God is wise and good but I am foolish God who hath made the World sent his own Son Jesus and Jesus Christ hath died for us and deserved for us pardon and life this is true and he hath done for me all Gods Commandements for I can do nothing because I am very sinful God in Heaven is very merciful and therfore hath called me to pray unto God God hath promised to pardon al their sins who pray unto God and beleeve in the Promise of Christ and Christ can give me to beleeve in him When he had made this Confession he was much abashed for he is a bashful man many things he spoke that I missed for want of through understanding some words and sentences therfore before the Fast day he made another Confession which was not read before the Elders which was as followeth Nishohkou I am dead in sin Oh! that my sins might die for they cannot give life because they be dead before I prayed to God I did commit all filthynesse I prayed to many gods I was proud full of lusts adulteries and all others sins and therefore this is my first Confession that God is mercifull and I am a sinner for God have given unto me instruction and causeth me to pray unto God but I only pray words when I prayed I somtimes wondered and thought true it is that God made the world and me and then I thought I knew God because I saw these his works and then I was glad somtimes and gave thanks yet presently again I did not rejoyce in it Again somtimes I thought now I do wel because I pray and work not on the Sabbath daies but come to the Meetings and hear the Word of God But afterward again I thought I do not wel because true it is That yet I do not truly pray for now I see I sin when I pray because there is nothing but sin in my mouth or hand or heart and all sins are there for of these my sins my heart is full
because my heart doth sometimes lust and steal and the like Again I was not only proud before I prayed but now I am proud Again sometimes my heart is humbled and then I pray Oh God have mercy on me and pardon these my sins yet sometimes I know not whether God did either hear my prayer or pardon my sins Again afterwards I thought I had greatly sinned because I heard of the good way of praying unto God but I do wickedly because I pray not truly yea sometimes I have much ado to pray with my mouth and therfore I sin I heard of that good way to keep the Sabbath and not to work on that day and I did so but yet again I sinned in it because I did not reverence the Word of God yea and sometimes I thought that working on the Sabbath was no great matter Again I heard it was a good way to come to the Meetings and hear the word of God and I desired to do it but in this also I sinned because I did not truly hear yea sometimes I thought it no great matter if I heard not and cared not to come to hear and still I so sinned Then I thought God was angry because I have greatly sinned desiring to do well and yet again to sin When I desired to do well then I sinned and in all things I sinned But afterward I was angry with my self and thought I will not sin again and what God saith is good but I am sinful because I have done all these evils Again sometimes my heart is humbled and then I repent and say Oh God and Jesus Christ have mercy on me and pardon my sins Now I desire truly to pray now I desire to reverence the Word every Sabbath day now I desire to hear the Word of God truly now I desire to bend my heart to pray and it may be God will hear me but quickly after a temptation cometh to my heart and I did not desire it Again sometimes I did think true it is I can do nothing of my self but Jesus Christ must have mercy on me because Christ hath done for me all Gods Commandements and good Works therfore my heart saith Oh Jesus give me desires after thee sometimes I think it is true I have greatly sinned against God but great are his mercies sometimes I hear the Word on the Sabbath day and he giveth it me that is maketh it my own sometimes I say the great and mighty God is in Heaven but these are but words because I do not fear this great and mighty God and I sometimes regard not Gods Word and make it of none effect because I do not that which is good but commit sin sometimes I say I know Christ because I know he died for us and hath redeemed us and procured pardon for us yet again I say I sin because I beleeve not Christ for that only is right to beleeve in Christ and do what he saith but I think I do this in vain because I yet do not truly beleeve in Jesus Christ nor do what he commandeth and therefore my heart plays the hypocrite and now I know what is hypocrisie namely when I know what I should do and yet do it not Sometimes I think I am like unto Satan because I do al these sins and sin in all things I do if I pray I sin If I keep Sabbath I sin if I hear Gods Word I sin therefore I am like the Devil Now I know I deserve to go to Hell because all these sins I have committed then my heart is troubled and I say Oh God and Christ pardon all my sin for I cannot pardon my sins my self for the first man brought sin into the world and therfore I am sinful therfore I pray thee O Lord pardon all the sins which I have done Again sometimes my heart is humbled and I desire to fear God because he is a great God and I desire to do what he saith and now I desire to do the right way and now I desire to beleeve Jesus Christ and sometimes I think it may be God will hear me it may be he will pardon me yet again I think I cannot be ashamed of sin but now I am ashamed of all my sins and my heart is broken and all these my sins I cast off and take heed of yet then again I sometimes say to God I cannot my self be humbled or break my heart or cast off sin but I pray thee O Jesus help me to do it Again sometimes I confess this is true I cannot redeem my self nor deliver my self because of all these my many sins truly full is my heart of sin in every thing all my thoughts my words my looks my works are full of sin true 〈◊〉 therefore I cannot deliver my self from sin Oh redeem thou my soul from Hel and torment for I like not to do it with my own hand therfore I desire Jesus Christ that I may delight in him take thou me and my soul because thou hast done Gods word and all good works for me and hast procured pardon for all my sins and hast prepared pardon in Heaven therfore I desire Oh I desire pardon but I somtimes think Christ doth not delight in me because I do much play the hypocrite but if I truly beleeve then he will pardon but true faith I cannot work Oh Jesus Christ help me and give it me Another who made Confession is named Magus which is as followeth HEretofore I beleeved not that God made the world but I thought the world was of it self and all people grew up in the world of themselves When any bid me pray to God I said I cannot and none of our Rulers beleeve or pray to God yet I went about to seek how to pray to God I told the wise men I seek how to pray to God and all of them could not find how to pray to God Afterward I had a desire to pray God lest I should lose my soul but my heart run away and I could not find how to pray to God and therefore I thought of going away yet I also thought if I do go away I shall lose my ground But after this I heard of Gods anger against me and I beleeved it for God made the first man good and told him if he did well he should live and this day I beleeve all men should do so and then I thought I will pray as long as I live and I will labor because Gods promise is If we labor we shall eat and I see that that is a true word for they that do labor do eat that is have wherewith to be fed I see that sin alwaies hath continued from the beginning of the world I beleeve that word which God told Eve That in sorrow she should bring forth Children and I see it dayly to be true I beleeve that word of God that sin brings misery and all shall die because by sin we break all
lose all in this world and lose my soul also because I beleeve not for all the Words of God are true which he hath taught me Now this day I think I will confess the truth Because I have sinned I want Jesus Christ and I will truly confess God because of that word of Christ He that confesseth me before men him will I confess before my Father I wonder at this Instruction I desire to confess my heart Another who made his Confession is named Antony upon whom the Lord was pleased the last Winter to lay an heavy stroke for he and another Indian being at work sawing of Board and finishing the Peece they laid it so short and the Rowl not so stedfast insomuch that this man being in the Pit directing to lay the Piece and the other above ordering thereof it slipped down into the Pit upon this mans head brake his neather Chap in two and cracked his Skull insomuch that he was taken up half dead and almost strangled with blood and being the last day of the week at night I had no word until the Sabbath day then I presently sent a Chyrurgion who took a discreet order with him and God so blessed his indeavors as that he is now well again blessed be the Lord and whereas I did fear that such a blow in their Labor might discourage them from Labor I have found it by Gods blessing otherwise yea this man hath performed a great part of the sawing of our Meeting-House and is now fawing upon the School-house and his recovery is an establishment of them to go on yea and God blessed this blow to help on the Work of Grace in his soul as you shall see in his Confession which followeth BEfore I prayed to God I alwaies committed sin but I do not know all my sins I know but a little of the sins I have committed therefore I thought I could not pray to God because I knew not al my sins before I prayed to God and since I heard of praying to God formerly when the English did bid me pray unto God I hated it and would go out of their houses when they spake of such things to me I had no delight to hear any thing of Gods Word but in every thing I sinned in my speeches I sinned and every day I broke the Commands of God After I heard of praying to God that Waban and my two brothers prayed to God yet then I desired it not but did think of running away yet I feared if I did run away some wicked men would kill me but I did not fear God After when you said unto me pray my heart thought I will pray yet again I thought I cannot pray with my heart and no matter for praying with words only but when I did pray I saw more of my sins yet I did but only see them I could not be aware of them but still I did commit them and after I prayed to God I was still full of lust and then a little I feared Sometimes I was sick and then I thought God was angry and then I saw that I did commit all sins then one of my brothers died and then my heart was broken and after him another friend and again my heart was broken and yet after all this I broke my praying to God and put away God and then I thought I shall never pray to God but after this I was afraid of the Lord because I alwaies broke my praying to God and then my heart said God doth nor hear my prayer When I was sick and recovered again I thought then that God was merciful unto me Hearing that word of God If you hear the Word of God and be forgetful hearers you sin against God then I thought God will not pardon such a sinner as I who dayly did so and broke my praying to God When I heard the Commandements I desired to learn them and other points of Catechism but my desires were but small and I soon lost it because I did not desire to beleeve then sometimes I feared Gods anger because of al my sins I heard the Word and understood only this word All you that hear this day it may be you shall quickly die and then I quickly saw that God was very angry with me Then God brake my head and by that I saw Gods anger and then I thought that the true God in Heaven is angry with me for my sin even for al my sins which every day I live I do When I was almost dead some body bid me now beleeve because it may be I shal quickly die and I thought I did beleeve but I did not know right beleeving in Christ then I prayed unto God to restore my health Then I beleeved that word That we must shortly appear before Jesus Christ then I did greatly fear lest if I beleeved not I should perish for ever When I was neer death I prayed unto God Oh Lord give me life and I will pray to God so long as I live and I said I will give my self soul and body to Christ after this God gave me health and then I thought truly God in Heaven is merciful then I much grieved that I knew so little of Gods Word And now sometimes I am angry and then I fear because I know God seeth it and I fear because I promised God when I was almost dead that if he giveth me life I will pray so long as I live I fear lest I should break this promise to God Now I desire the pardon of all my sins and I beg faith in Christ and I desire to live unto God so long as I live I cannot my self get pardon but I dayly commit sin and break Gods Word but I look to Christ for pardon Another who made His Confession is named Owussumag which is as followeth WHen I first heard that Waban prayed to God and after that many more prayed I first feared praying to God and instruction and I hated instruction by the Word of God and alwaies I laughed at them who prayed to God and I alwaies thought I will yet more commit sin and I went into the Country and there I acted much lust adultry and the like and all my Neighbors we did together seek after wickedness and every day I was proud and of high or open eyes When some of my neighbors began to pray I went away into the Country but I could find no place where I was beloved Then I heard That when beleevers die they go to Heaven when sinners die they go to Hel and my heart considered What good will it be if my soul go to Heaven But two years ago I began to think I had sinned against God and then somtimes I feared yet again sinned but my fear was of man not of God Then ever my heart said I should be better if I would pray to God and somtimes I beleeved that which I was taught yet again last year I sought to go
on unto it with many fears and questions what they should do when they should be a Church When therefore I saw the Lord by the Counsel of his Servants which is an holy reverend Ordinance of Christ and by his Providence denying me the help of all Interpreters having many witnesses how much care and pains I took every way I knew to be supplied therein and that the work it self was extended by the Lords gracious inlarging them in their Confessions so that the day was not sufficient to accomplish it I say when I saw the Lord speaking that delatory word I cannot express what a load it took off my heart and I did gladly follow the Lord therein yea and I bless the Lord for that day that it was carried so far as it was for the cause of Christ hath many waies gained by it many hundreds of the precious Saints being much comforted and confirmed in their hopes of this work of Christ among them and their faith and prayers much quickned by what they heard and saw And because all witnesses failed me let me say but this I began and have followed this work for the Lord according to the poor measure of grace received not for base ends I have been true faithful unto their souls and in writing and reading their Confessions I have not knowingly or willingly made them better than the Lord helped themselves to make them but am verily perswaded on good grounds that I have rather rendered them weaker for the most part than they delivered them partly by missing some words of weight in some Sentences partly by my short and curt touches of what they more fully spake and partly by reason of the different Idioms of their Language and ours Now follow those Preparitory Confessions which were read before the Elders most of them The first that made a publick Confession and was took in Writing was Peter a Ruler of Ten among them a Godly man who quickly after he had made this Confession fell sick and died and now injoyeth the fruit of his Faith the end of his Hope the salvaion of his Soul among the Blessed where I am perswaded he shall be found in the great day His Confession was as followeth VVHen I first prayed to God I did not fear God but I feared perdition because the English had told me that all should be damned that call not upon God But now I know that God made all the world and I fear him now I beleeve that which you teach is true Now I beleeve that God calleth us to Natik that here we may be ruled by God and gather a Church now I beleeve that it is Gods Command that we should labor Six dayes and keep the Sabbath on the Seventh day now my heart is greatly abased for all my sins for we see though we pray to God we are ready to offend each other and be angry with each other and that we love not each other as we should do and for this I grieve my heart crieth now I remember that God saith thou shalt not lust but before I prayed to God I was full of lusts God saith We must have but one Wife and at first did make but one man and one woman but I followed many women God saith Remember to keep the Sabbath day holy but I did hunt or shoot or any thing on the Sabbath day many other sins I committed but now I see them and wil cast them away because they are vile and God forbiddeth them when I prayed first my sins were not pardoned for my praying is worth nothing now I am humbled and mourn for my sins and yet cannot deliver my self nor get pardon therfore I trust Christ with my soul The next Confession was made by John Speene as followeth His first confession was this WHen I first prayed to God I did not pray for my soul but only I did as my friends did because I loved them and though I prayed to God yet I did not fear sin nor was I troubled at it I heard that when good men die their souls go to God and are there happy but I cannot say that I beleeved it Afterward my heart run away into the country after our old wayes and I did almost cast off praying to God A little while after that I saw that I had greatly sinned and then I saw all my sins afore I prayed to God and since I prayed to God and I saw that God was greatly angry for them and that I cannot get pardon for them but yet my heart saith I will pray to God as long as I live I thought God would not pardon me and yet I would cast away my sins I did greatly love hunting and hated labor but now I beleeve that word of God which saith Six dayes thou shalt labor and God doth make my body strong to labor John Speene This Confession being short in some main points he afterward made Confession as followeth WHen I first prayed I prayed not for my soul but for the sake of men I loved men and for their sakes I prayed to God Before I prayed many were my sins and my heart was heaped full and ran over in all manner of lusts and sins After I heard of praying to God I let it fall and regarded it not after I came to hear the word I sometimes feared but soon lost it again Then my heart ran away after our former courses and then what ever I heard I lost because my heart was run away and many were my sins and therfore I could not get pardon because my heart run away and many were my sins and I did indeed go into the Country But afterwards I hearing the Catechism I desired to learn it and then I beleeved that when Beleevers die their souls go to God and are ever happy when Sinners die their souls go to Hel and are ever tormented and that when Christ judges the world our bodies rise again and then we shall receive the judgment of Christ the good shal stand at his right hand the bad at his left this I beleeved was true and then I saw all my great follies and evils and now my heart desired to lay by hunting and to work every day and this is Gods Command and therfore a good way God said Thou shalt work six daies and if thou work thou shalt eat therfore I beleeve it and my heart promiseth that I will this do as long as I live Now I see I did great folly for now I hear that God saith Work and now I fear because God hath afflicted me in taking away my brother a Ruler now I am troubled I fear I sinned in not beleeving our Ruler because now God hath taken him away he taught me good words but I beleeved them not and now I repent because Christ calleth me to it great is the punishment of God in taking away our Ruler and now I pray and say to Christ Oh Jesus Christ Christ