yet I was as most Youths are not only ignorant of the knowledge of God and of his son Jesus Christ and of Regeneration and other Mysteries of the Gospel and of my own miserable estate by Nature but I was also very active and forward in the persuit of the pleasures and vanities of this wicked world and justly tearmed as I was by my Companions and School-fellows Dux omnium malorum Captain or Leader of or in all evil only drunkenness I much hated looking upon it as such an unnatural thing that the most greedy silly Beasts abstain from it and I wondred that persons could delight in that which had neither true pleasure profit nor honour in it I had no esteem for the holy Scriptures nor cared at all to look into them but either Hystorical or Poetical Books Romances and the like were all my delight the Sabbath I much profaned by all sports though God was pleased to magnifie his grace so much as to make that the occasion of my Conversion For being one Lords day a stander by and beholder of those that broke the Sabbath by divers Games being then my self a Reader of Common-Prayers and in the habit of a foolish Shepheard I was ashamed to play with them yet took as much pleasure therein as if I had whereupon a Godly grave Professour of Religion one of those then called Puritans seeing me there came to me and very soberly and mildly asked me doth it become you Sir that are a Scholar and one that teacheth others to break the Lords Sabbath thus to whom I answered as those scoffers in Malachy Wherein do I break it you see me onely stand by but I do not play at all to which he replyed but you find your own pleasure herein by looking on and this God forbids in his holy Word so he opened his Bible and read these words in Esa 58.13 and perticularly that expression Not finding thy own pleasure upon the sabbath day such was the partinency of the place and the power that came with the word I was for the present silent and took it so far into consideration as to resolve never to transgress in the like kind again which resolution God enabled me to perform though as yet I was not at all convinced of my lost estate by nature nor of the want of Christ But about a year after I had a call to hear a godly excellent Preacher who in his Uses shew d that they who would go to heaven must do four sorts of services Namely hard service costly service derided service and forlorn service upon the last he did as I thought begin to put me to question whether I was such a one as was singular or did walk in that way wherein fewest walked or had performed any of those services and the more I examined my self the more I was convinced I had not which began to disquiet me much and made me go into private where in darkness I struggled not knowing what to do and was ashamed to inquire having never yet read seriously any part of the holy Scripture nor any other Godly book nor never prayed privately except by book and forms and that formally without understanding sense faith or the spirit of supplication for which things I began to be troubled but yet knew not what course to take but resolved to cast my self down before God on my knees and acknowledge I was in such estate I knew not what to do unless he would direct and help me being much discouraged by my own weakness and ignorance then by a choice providence I came to find a book written by Doctor Sibbes called the bruised Reed and by reading that I found there was incouragement for weak ones and such who had but a smoak of true desire though the fire of grace did not appear in them yet still I was like one groping in the dark till God sent a most holy sober mortified Christian to me who seeing me like a Char-coal that had been in the fire yet without light and life he pittied my condition and began to tell me what a hard work the work of conversion was it being no less then to make a stone flesh and darkness light these with many such words began to sink and to enter deep into my heart and from that time I took up the profession of Godliness although the foundation work was not laid deep enough so as to have the heart mortified for or from sin but I was disquieted within me and like a Boat tossed upon the waves that could make to no shore for safety At this time the Lord visited me with a very sore and great pain of the Tooth-ach which continued divers days and nights together in great extremity so that with the violence thereof I thought I should have been deprived of my senses or life and by another good providence I met with a little book of Mr. Perkins and in that with this expression if the pains of one little bone or tooth be so grievous for a few days what then will the pains of the whole body and soul be in hell for evermore Upon this my terrour began in Conscience to that degree that it made the other pain to seem somewhat more easie and both together put me upon crying out to God with greater sense then before and between fear and pain a troubled muddy spirit of prayer began to spring up and perceiving I had some help I pumped harder and so found at last my heart began to be inlarged with confessions and my sins were brought into remembrance for which I arraigned my self and lay in my own thoughts as a convicted and guilty person but all the while I knew not how or by whom to become guiltless or to attain pardon all this while I never looked on the Scripture nay I laid aside that book called the bruised Reed as too good for me to read and wherein I could expect no comfort But very shortly after hearing of another very famous godly Preacher I resolved to go hear him he Preached that day upon Mark 16.15 Go and Preach the Gospel to every creature He that believes and is baptized shall be saved Out of which words he shewed that as the Gospel was to be Preached to every creature so none could be saved but such as did believe in Christ which afterwards by comparing it with John 1 12. He shewed that it was to receive Christ and thereupon he encouraged all to receive Christ because he would supply all their wants strengthen them under all their weaknesses succour them against all their temptations and the like upon the urging of which motives I was much encouraged and perswaded to be willing to receive and take Christ upon his own termes but then he shewed that they who would have Christ and salvation by him must do the hardest learn the harshest part with the sweetest and suffer the sorest things which words being sutable to those that wrought the
day I injoyed much consolation both from the Scripture specially Psal 37.24.35.39 Though he fall meaning the good man he shall not utterly be cast down nor condemn him when he is judged but the salvation of the Righteous is from the Lord he is their strength in the time of trouble and the Lord shall help them and deliver them he shall deliver them from the wicked and save them because they trust in him also by conference that day with several persons yet in the Evening I had strong assaults from Satan from which the Lord did in part deliver me but yet much trouble from my own Evil heart the four following lessons I was desirous to learn this Evening 1. To get my Soul more setled in the assurance and apprehension of salvation 2. More sensible of my own and other mens sins and my own and other mens sufferings 3. More humbled for my unprofitableness in my imprisonment 4. More willing to dye and more mindful of death This day I received and unexpected mercy and was prevented from a temptation which made my heart rejoyce and preventing grace especially that which prevented from sin have been frequently cause of rejoycing to me This day I had little change in the frame of my Spirit either to good or Evil but some sence I had of my own weakness yet I had some comfort from those words Psal 40.17 but I am poor and needy yet the Lord thinketh on me and Psal 42.8 Yet the Lord will command his loving kindness and his Song shall be with me and my Prayer unto the God of my life This day I had a good and comfortable day to my Soul especially in Prayer Four things I saw cause to be humbled for First that I had not more sence of the sins and sufferings of Gods People or of my own Secondly That the Works Glory Wayes Ordinances People of the Lord are in such Contempt Thirdly that there is no more Stability Zeal and Courage in the Saints for good and against Evil. Fourthly That there continues still such darkness upon and divisions amongst Christians I had it much in my Heart to desire two things from the Lord viz. First Power against my sin Secondly Preparation for sufferings This day I was much troubled for hearing one sweare several Oaths and not reproving him for the same and convinced also from Psal 50.7 Hear O Israel and I will testifie against thee I am God even thy God that God had many things against me in particular and I was convinced providencially of one cause of my sufferings Being a day to seek the Lord in private Prayer I had my Heart somewhat softned and yet I was troubled it continued so hard and I learned from the 2. Cro. 6.37 That I should in this my suffering bethink my self both what I was and what I had done that I should pray more earnestly and turn more throughly and perfectly unto the Lord and that Evening I could and did pray most heartily for my Enemies and Persecutors This day being the Lords day I had several times refreshings from the Lord in Prayer and in speaking his word and that word in Iob. 10.14 Was set with weight upon my Heart If I sin thou markest me and wilt not acquit me from my iniquity I learned thence what a dangerous thing it is to sin under affliction and the dangers did appear much by that place in Lev. 26.36 And upon them that are left alive of you meaning those that were unaffliction verse the 26. I will send a faintness in their Hearts c. The same day I had a consideration of the great evil of sinning against the Lord after assurance This day I observed these words Psal 59.3 For loe they lye in wait Davids Enemies for my Soul the mighty are gathered against me not for my transgression nor for my sin O Lord I could truely and with comfort say that mine Enemies did persecute me but not for my sin or transgression which is a comfort to me this day also by a special providence God brought a dear Friend who praying wit me my Heart was much affected and melted This day in the morning my Heart was very free to pray for my Persecutors and Enemies as freely and really is I was to seek and receive pardon for my own sins I had power also to apply those words to my self Psal 62.2 He is onely my Rock and my Salvation he is my defence I shall not greatly by moved and in verse 6. I shall not be moved God did bring this Scripture as an Antidote for that Evening there came several persons one after another to tell me that I and several others were to be tryed at the Sessions and I observed that my Heart was very little moved thereat but could willingly refer my self to the Lord and be quiet in and contented with his will though never so contrary to my own carnal and natural will This Evening in discourseing with a poor Christian antient woman I found by the tenderness of Heart the had for sin and her zeal for God that she was in a far better temper of Spirit then I was in which helped on my Humility somewhat this Evening also I had some power to resist Temptation and to check Corruption I had my Heart enlargned and softned in Prayer and through Gods goodness was much freed from Temptations yet had some bodily distemper but I judged it very little and light in comparison of what it might be I experienced the Lords coming in and especially in Prayer I observed that Scripture Psal 68.28 Thy God hath commanded thy strength strengthen O God that which thou hast wrought for us yet this Evening I was moved to passion This day spent so most part in writing Letters for Christian Freinds at some of which my Heart was moved having a great desire that they might continue in the Faith and stand fast in the Lord. This day I was affected with some ill news I heard and my heart was moved with pitty towards some in affliction I had some comfort from Psal 69. verse 36.29 Those whom thou hast wounded he persecuted and afflicted are those whom God hath wounded and though poor and sorrowful yet his salvation will set them up on high but especially from verse the 32. Their Hearts shall live that seek God and this day in observing the Characters which a godly Preacher gives in his Book of those that have their sins pardoned that they are those that seek pardon wait in the use of means till they obtain it they do freely pardon others and they do love God for his pardoning goodness all which in a measure through free grace I found in me also Psal 71.20 Thou wilt bring me up again c. was very refreshing to me This day being the Lords day I had several considerations of the Sabboth as it was a sign between God and his People Exod. 31.13.17 Ezek. 20.12.17 A sign of his favour
happinâ—â—â— of a good m n above the wicked that the Lord stands at the right hand of the one and the Devil at the right haâ—d of the other Psal 109.31 compareâ— with the 6. verse This day I was learning that a Christian should endeavour to peâ—â—orm all his duties 1. more intâ—rely or with his whole Heart Psal 111.1 119. 2. 2. More delightfully Psal 119.16.53 47 70. Rom. 7.22 3. With more judgement and discretion Psal 112 5. 4. With perseverance Col. 4.2 This morning I was overcome with passion and frowardness which made me enquire into the reason of that and other Corruptions I was observing this that it is a mercy to have the Soul come to its place again after sin but far better not to go out of its place at all this Night I had a very sore and strong Temptation but was through the grace of God supported and strengthened from the consideration of Christ that was tempted who considers those that are tempted also from his Prayer Iohn 17.11 and from those two promises Isa 59.19 James 4.7 I fled to the Lord by Prayer and he delivered me and I trust he also will deliver me Being the Lords day I had my Heart in a reasonable good frame in the morning in Prayer I was observing that God exalteth himself even then when he humbleth himself to look on men Psal 113.6 marg I found my Heart much raised and enlarged in Prayer for Gods work and People had faith therein I observed from Isa 38.17 For Peace I had great Bitterness c. I learned that a Christians condition is murable and therefore he should be contented with his condition what ever it be and whether comfortable or miserable he should look that God may soon alter it and he should not desire to go out of one state into another till he hath gotten good by being in the former 2. That Gods love is not only seen in the removing affliction from us but in afflicting of us also 3. That Gods People should learn to gain assurance and experience by affliction This Evening I was much refreshed in reading Bains upon the Ephes especially one chap. the 1.13 and the 4.30 Concerning the sealing of the Spirit This day I observed the duty and resolution of a sincere Christian viz. to walk before the Lord. Psal 116.9 Gen. 24.40 I was also thinking how necessary it is for a right Christian that desires to walk holily to observe carefully the inward workings of the Spirit of God as also the secret wayes and methods of sin I was convinced also how uneffectual it is for a Christian to promise or resolve any thing in his own strength I learned from David that he oft mentions serving and seeking God with his whole Heart which dutieâ— I love and would learn more experimentally and practically according to Psal 112.2.10.34.69 This day I was enlarged and somewhat softened in the duty of Prayer several times and convinced what an evil it is in Gods sight 1. To be long under affliction unhumbled and uncleansed Jer. 44.10 Jos 22.17 and especially to sin wittingly and to add sin to sin I was considering of four duties to repent for sin to redeem time to get fuller assurance and to prepare for Christ I was also affected with some news that concerned the People of God This day I was observing that though a true Christian may have a sound Heart and Faith in the word of the Lord yet he may be as a Bottle in the smoak dry and withered yea and fainting and failâ—ing for the Lord and his salvation Psal 119.80 81 82 83. I learned this also that disappointment â—n ones expectation causeth dejection and trouble This day having had a long and serious discourse with a knowing Gentleman I observed somewhat more then even I had done before concerning the Image of God and the new man mentioned in Ephes â— 24. Col. 3.10 I had consideration also that Child of God may easily see to the end of or beyond all that the men of the world can do to him I had some inlargedness and softness of Heart in Prayer also I observed several things from 1. Thess 2. I observed the following Lessons 1. That by gaining understanding from and delight in the Statutes and Precepts of the Lord a Christian comes to hate every falce and wicked way Psal 119.97.104 2. To seek to get a Heart inclined alwayes to perform Gods Statutes verse 112. 3. That when a Soul hath an intention to keep Gods Commandements he will abstain from the company of evil doers verse 115. I had great trouble and sorrow in my Heart in the Evening from a Letter I had from a Brother tuâ—ned Quaker but my Heart was much drawn forth to to pray for him This day being Lords day in the morning I had my Heart drawn forth again to pray earnestly for that Brother and had my Spirit several times somewhat revived this day and among several other things which I observed 1. That a Child of God be altered much in the frame of his Spirit from better to worse as Baruch also Ionah c. 2. That a time of common calamity it will be a mercy for a religious man to have his life as Baruch was p omised to have Jer. 45.5 3. I observing how God may punish a good man in the same kind that he sins as Asa with pain in his Feet aâ— he had put the Prophet in the Stocks before 2. Chron. 16.10 12 compared 4. Oh what an evil it is in a Christian to sin David was told that he despised the Lord and his Commandement 2 Samuel 12.8.10 5. From Ezek. 10.11 that the Wheels that is either they Angels Saints or the providences of God they followed the head and turned not as they went so should we follow Christ 6. It is observeable that God takes notice of all that is in the minds of men Ezek. 11.5 as well as all the words in their Tongues as the frame of mens Spirits so they think of God for if they be holy and faithful they conceive so of God This day also I found the evil of my Heart to be in one frame when it should be in another as to rejoyce when it should mourn I lost oppertunities this day to serve the Lord by discourses with several sorts of persons especially some that pretend to the Virgin life who mightily sleight Iesus of Nazareth and the Scriptures which made me strongly oppose them and do with them as the Apostle commands 2. Iohn 10. that promise also was sweet unto me Psal 121.3 He will not suffer thy Feet to be moved This day in the Morning and at Noon I had my Heart drawn out and softned more then ordinary in Prayer yet I found my Heart suddenly moved to anger this was in divers sences a day of great kindnes from the Lord I was observing from Hos 12. 1. That fear care and trembling are especial means to keep the
godly from sin 2. That sin doth set the Soul of a good frame 3. That when once the Soul goeth out of a good frame it is hardly recovered 4 That when God is about to deliver his People from sufferings he begins to deliver them from sin I had expeâ—ience of this that it is far better to go to P ayer often then be too tedious and to consider of some especial pâ—rtiâ—ular thing to pray for and be importunate by promises arguments for them also I observed from Psal 12â— 6. That weeping it one duty of Christianâ— in the time of their Captivity and haâ— those that weep they shall surâ—ly find a time of â—ejoâ—cing Lâ—ke â—â— 6.21 J hn 6 20 This day I had my Heart much softned enlarged and warmed in Prayer especially one time but in the Evening had conviction of my slothfulness also of my great indiscretion in discoursing about spiritual things I observed from Psal 129.1 2. Many times have they afflicted me from my youth yet they have not prevailed that Gods People may be delivered under and out of affliction I was troubled this day at my ignorance both in natural and spiritual things and had th ough the Lords special favour to me a sweet fit of sorrow and repentance for my sins with two special suitable Scriptures he shall redeem Israel from all his iniquities Psal 130.8 and Hos 3.1 Go yet love a woman beloved of her Freind yet an adulteress according to the love of the Lord oh what kind of love is this for God to love an Adulteress and what comfort to a poor Backslider for to such these words are cheifly spoken Through the constant coming and continuing of Freinds I had little time for secret duties which together with the saying of a grave Gentleman that this 40 years he had not neglected to read every day two or three Chapters in the Bible what ever his business were convinced of my neglects in the service of God this day I met with a new affliction which too little affected me This day the Lord was pleased to set my thoughts on several Lessons which Christians should be learning in this day as 1. To be humbled under the mighty hand of God 1. Pet. 5.5 2. To keep themselves undefiled 1. Tim. 5.22 1. John 5.22 3. Not to fear any Creatures Isa 41. Mat. 10.28.31 Rev. 2.10 4. To lay to Heart the sins of the wicked and the sins and sufferings of the godly 5. To keep up their Watch. 6. Not to neglect Saints fellowship Heb. 10.29 7. To get fuller assurance through our repentance c. 8. from Daniel 3.16 17. I observed that 1. Great sudden and â—navoidable tryal may come upon the Saints 2. That true Saints will be more feareful of the least sin then the greatest suffering 3. That Faith in God a disregard of the World and a devine resolution will carry Christians through sufferings I had my Heart drawn out in Prayer This day I took notice of three or four remarkable Providences I was also convinced of too much natural and self-resolution also of my cowardlyness to reprove sin in great Persons I considered what an evil and sin it is for one to attribute to himself more then is due and considering how God may make one condition best for one one time which is not best at another time I had some refreshing in Prayer this day This day in the morning there was a providence which I met with which is like to prove in the end very remarkable but whether my acting and appearing therein was from the Lord I must leave the issue to manifest it only from thence I was observing 1. That Truth and Sincerity right ends asking Counsel of God and advising with the People of God First Is great satisfaction to a Christian in what he doth Secondly Yet when a mans judgement and Conscience is not fully in a mans business he loseth much comfort in what he doth Lhis day in the morning I had trouble in my Spirit for what I did doubtfully the day before and shed many tears for my dear Brethren that turned Quakers especially Thomas Ell I had also comfort from that Scripture Psal 138.7 Though I walk in the midst of trouble c. In the Evening I had consideration and sight of several things amiss in me and had my Heart affected in asking for the same This morning I was troubled for a vile thought and in the Evening troubled at my impatience yet had sweet and comfortable refreshing from Dan. 11.35 and a Heart to pray sensibly and affectionately for Gods People and my hope raised for them f om Psal 125.3 For the Rod of the wicked shall not alwayes rest c. This day being the Lords day I had comfort from that Scripture Prov. 24.16 For a just man falleth seven times and riseth up again and likewise from Iames 5 15. and Iohn 1.5 8. especially from that place Gen. 3.21 Where God is said to make Clothes to Adam and Eve and not only so but to Cloath them or put them on from Dan. 3.17 18. I observed that real Saints do fear the least sin more then the g eatest sufferings because sin is a worse evil then suffering 2. Because therein they do imitate Ch ist suffering 3. Because the evil of suffering consists with the special will and pleasure of God but so doth not sin 4. Because they know that if they sin they shall suffer 5. Because they know if they chuse sufferings they shall be either saved from it or carried through it 6. Because they are under the promise if they suffer but under the Threats and Judgements of God if they sin This day being a day of writing to some Freinds I found my affection quickened more especially towards one Brother that did abide loving and faithful and for some others that had turned aside I observed this from Eves words Gen. 4.1 That one may receive a mercy from the Lord which may not be used for the Lord. Psalm 139.10 I did observed two great comforts in case of banishment even there that is the uttermost parts of the Earth 1. Shall thy hand â—end me 2. Thy right hand shall hold me up so from Psal 145.14 The Lord upholdeth all that fall and raiseth up all those that be bowed down this day was a reasonable good day to me This day had better intentions then performances yet I was convinced how short I came of doing the good I might do in a day place condition I am in and how I come short oâ— that which Paul mentions of himself 1. Thess 2.2 We were bold in our God c. I was sensible that I had â—on much of the boldness I had and especially in reproving sin This was a very good day in many respects first I had divers pretious Freinds to visit me Secondly a good Lâ—ter expressing the state of my Freinds in the Country Thirdly another special and unexpected Providence Fourthly
every condition 2. That we have done that which deserves the worst condition 3. That we should mind more the glory of God and our duty in our condition and not strive to make our outward state in a natural wâ—y sweet which God intends to sweeten otherwise Next day I sound my heart in a hard and streight condition and frame most part of this day and not disposed to the duty intended as it ought and in the Evening of this day I was moved to passion but avoiding occasionâ— yâ—ng to the Lord I was delivered and from Prov. 13.3 I learned two Lessons First to keep my mouth and to be well advised I also found a gâ—eat desire to grow in plainness and sincerity of heart This day by discourse I came to understand some Scriptures especially Iohn 3.14 and the 11.10 as is observed an written down in both those margenâ—s clearer then eveâ— bâ— o e also I obseâ—ved where the word Soul Nephesh is taken for â— dead body Numbers the 9.6 the 6. Chap 6. alâ—o two other necessary and seasonable Lessoâ—s from Prov. 14.8.15 viz. To understand the way and to look well to my goings also this Evening I had my heart a little more then ordinary softened and enlarged in Prayer This day I experienced but little good or gain gotten to my Soul and found my Heart but in a flat frame yet I was affected a little with the consideration of the great honour given by the Elders and others to Iesus Christ Rev. 5.13 and I perceived more desire after true sincerity of heart and observed a good providence of God This day I observed a remarkable passage in a great mans suffering death that he vowed and wished that if ever he did game again he might be hanged and hanged he was a warning to look to our wishes then I marked those two words Prov. 15.4 That perversness in the Tongue is or makes a breach in the Spirit I was smitten in my Conscience for an evil thought and convinced for my unconstancy in good and want of more sence of my own and others sins and slackness in some services but I had comfort from the 1. Thess 5.24 That Gods faithfulness ingages him to perfect his work in his People and to preserve them to the end This day being the Lords day I learned amongst many other Lessons from Ezek. 20. 1. That when Gods People do come to ordinances yet they should expect good only from God the People sate before Ezekiel but inquired of God verse 1. 2. That when People abuse their Gifts God will pollute them therein and thereby verse 26. 3. That those that go on in sin cannot expect to find God when they call upon him 4. That God may sometimes return the captivity of his People before they repent verse 42 43 I was convinced that it is my duty 1. To study my duty more 2. To strive to do my duty better this whole day I was troubled with the Head-ach and pain in my Stomach but I found the Lord enabling me with much patience moving my heart to praise him that affliction is not far greater Calm joy and ease came this morning from the presence of the Lord after trouble and pain with a resolution to prize time and mercy and to walk better and more diligently before the Lord who directeth the steps Prov. 16.9 and he that keepeth his way preserveth his Soul which Scriptures I observed this Morning this Evening I had some communion with the Lord in Prayer I was lead to look upon that duty 1. Tim. 2.2.13 Of praying for all men and from what I heard of another to praise God for his goodness to me This Morning I observed a special providence by the coming of a Freind to visit me and observed further from Prov. 17.5 Howbeit Gods affliction is compared to a fining Pot or Furnace to try and purge the Heart also what a sad thing t is to have good oppertunities and prizes put into our hands but to want improving hearts or to have corruption hinder good verse 16 20. I found no especial enlargment nor communion with the Lord this day but rather a provocation to pride yet of that good word in Tim. 1.3 chap. 2.6 met with me This day being willing to wait upon God I found him good to me in softening and inlarging and drawing out my Heart in Prayer and I had some comfort from those words Psal 9.9 The Lord will be a refuge for the oppressed a refuge in times of trouble and verse the 18. the needy shall not alwayes be forgotten yet this Evening I was set upon by temtation which in part prevailed and in part was resisted In the Morning fowl and and sinful thoughts came into my heart but God made them bitter and burdensome to me and now little sins begin like Flies to be more troublesome to me yet I much suâ—pect my self if the Loâ—d left me to my self never so little and short a time I had some joy and strength from Prov. 20.21 Wait on the Lord and he shall save thee This day my heart was somewhat melted and warmed in duty and I found power to resist temptation I had also my heart in a reasonable good measure brought to consider why the Lo d afflicts me and adds afflictions and was throughly resolvâ—d in two things that I would do what I could to pacificy God and to please him and to beleive in his free grace through Christ let him do what he will with me I was observing three comforts to the righteous from Prov. 21.18.28.31 This day was a good day both inwardly and outwardly especially outwardly I had some thoughts of Gods judgement to fear them and to endeavour to shun them and to intreat the Lord not to let me share with the wicked in their punishments much less their sins I observed from Prov 22.14 that it is a sign of hatred to be left to sin an excellent promise in verse 23. also twelve Lessons Paul teaches 1. Tim. 4. This day being the Lords day I had some eâ—joyment of the Lords presence as I observed and among other things I observed fiâ—st fâ—om Ezek. 39 26. That the first thing that thâ— Loâ—d dâ—th in the Redemption oâ— his People is to b ing them to remember theiâ— sins and to repent for them â—nd so having cleansed and saved them from their iniquties Jer. 33.8 Ezek. 36 29. he wo ks thâ—n â—â—eir temporal and outward deliverance 2. Fâ—om the fâ—st verse that when the Lord hath given his â—piâ—â—â— to 〈◊〉 People he never forsakes them more 3. From Psal 80.5 17. I had considerations of the great suffâ—rings of the Church of God of old and the ground of their comfort which is Christ 4. From Rev. 12. was much refreshed to consider that the Church when she went to the Wilderness yet that was by Wings that God gave her and likewise in the Wilderness there was a place prepared by God for her and there
that I resolve some things I have not power to do This day I learned in the morning three things 1. His coming into the World 2. His walking before and living in this world rightly 3. His departure out of this world also this day in the Evening the Lord shewed me kindness in some degree and I had the consideration of the state to others upon my heart yet I was convinced that I wanted more softness of Heart Though this day was somewhat painful to my body yet I had some refreshing thereon to my Soul for 1. I observed out of Heb. 12.16 Encouragement to suffer also inquiries into Beleiveâ—s building upon the true Foundation from Math. 7.24 withal many comforts from Christs carriage between his Resurrection and Ascention from this day to the 29. I observed not much save that my heart was in an ordinary Frame not much elivated in good nor cast down with evil God moved my heart to praise him for his mercy the night before and indeed it was worthy of praise and I found a very great encouragement in my spirit to the Lord for it this day I received divers Letters from my Freinds in the Country which were very refreshing and the Lord came very seasonable into my Soul through many expressions in Psal 91. It pleased the Lord this day to draw forth and to inlarge my heart much in Prayer with many tears and from the 1. Kings and Ier. 50.20 To comfort me much in respect of the pâ—â—â—â—n of sin also to consider four Lessons 1. To be think my self more of the sins I had committed 2. To confess thâ—m more sensibly 3. To turn from them more effectually 4. To look upon it as a work of Christ a it was to the Preists under the Law to cleanse the Sanctuary either the Churches of God of the hearts oâ— his People 2. Chron. 29.16 This day did God tenderly afflict me in my head yet wonderfully whilst I was at Prayer removed it I perceived it in the midle of Prâ—yer departing from me I heard also from Christians in the Country which much refreshed me I observed two comfortable words from Ier. 50.33.34 51.53 For the Church of God and methought according to that Scripture Psal 102.14 I had some pleasure in the Stones and did favour the dust of Zâ—on and from Hos 8. I observed son Lessons 1. To take heed of leaving to take heed to the Lo d especially in an evil time 2. Of short repentance 3. Of being a Vessel of no delight in Goes sight 4. Of being giving up to sin Being the Lords day I think I may say it was a sweet day to my Soul in â—ivers â—espects This day was good to the outward man but I sound a carnal rickling of self conceitedness in some thing I had done and was doing and I was convinced that my time stole away insensible I observed that the Character of bad profession are out of Hos 10. are 1. To bring forth Fruit unto themselves 2. To have a divided Heart 3. To be worse by affliction 4. To have the evil of evil verse 14. This day I would ever remember because of my great folly in my great frowardness towards my Wife and another my Conscience reproved me for it and I was convinced from Prov. 14.17.29 What evil I did thereby Being a day of Prayer I found my heart by Gods goodness much enlarged sorrowing much for the faults of the former day I learned from Exek 10. Three duties 1. To know the time 2. To redeem it and 3. To consider how soon it may be at an end Being the day my Wife went to W. I found an inclinaâ—ion in me to â—owardness but God restrained it and I found that Evening a continued sence and sorrow of and for my former evil I learned from Eccles 11. 1. That a man should hasten to do what good he can because of the evil that is coming upon the Earth 2. Put away evil from my Flesh This day and night following I was much troubled with temptations out of Eccles 12. I observed many things that should move to mind their mortality and that there is a time when the days will be so evil that they will not be desired also in the 9. 10. it is said twice that the Preacher sought out 1. Matter 2. Words This day I had power to repulse temptation also a consideration that the blessed and righteous man 1. Doth not go in sin presumptuosly 2. Nor continue in sin carelesly nor 3. Give way to sin conâ—ivingly I also considered that God in affliction doth no more to a Child of his then the Angel did to Peter Acts the 5. Smite him to awake him out of Sleep Being the Lords day I was refreshed in the morning with the presence and spirit of God in Prayer and from the consideration of the wisdome watchfulness and inweariedness of Satan in deceiving and tempting I should learn to be watch ul and careful in keeping from the same The following Week my Book being from me I did not write my observations only I remember that upon the sâ—atch day I had comforts both by power I had against temptations and from a Letter I had which came from several Freinds in Wales Also the last day of the week I found my heart much intent upon preaching and with tears I did both study my Sermon and pray for a blessing thereon yet had not liberty to preach it Also the following week wherein I was in wards I had not my Book only I remember 1. That I was well contented with my condition 2. Very cheerful and comfortable 3. Had a greater mind to do good 4. Free from temptation 5. Resolved to let the Lord himself bring me out in his time and way 6. When I came out was stird up to praise the Lord yet was not without temptations afterwards Some Lessons that I hope I have learned or gained more experience in since my imprisonment 1. To be more sober and serious in my carriage and to shun and loath more jesting jearing and foolish laughter vain speaking and unbeseeming behaviour 2. To prize secresie or being in secret for private Meditation Self-examination and Prayer more then before 3. I have gained more power against passion and anger besides some other corruptions and more moderation in discoursing with men of differing judgements 4. A very great and earnest desire that there may be a general Union between the Saints of God at least a forbearance towards one and other wherein they cannot agree 5. And especially a Heart really to pray for and to pardon my worst and greatest Persecutors 6. To justifie God willingly and fully in all that he hath done and to acknowledge that it is not without cause nor so much as mine iniquityes have deserved God dealing with me under the Covenant of Grace and as a Father 7. To look more at the good and gain I have received from the Lord in and by sufferings then
been very hurtful 6. That the Lord did move the hearts of the Brethren to come so willingly and express so much affection to me 7. That God moved my heart and strengthned me to come home that night which proved advantagious 8. That when the disease was at the highest and sorest the Lord was pleased in that state to keep the eye of my mind directly upon himself 9. That when I was much troubled about my Will and was afraid the Lord would have taken me away before I had finished it God heard my weak sensless crying unto him and gave me much satisfaction when it was done The Lord did not let loose any of my spiritual enemies sin or Satan upon me The Lord supported me with his former fatherly dealings and the succors comforts and experiences he had afforded in the like afflictions The Lord kept my spirit indifferent and unbyassed towards life or death not desiring the one more then the other but willing that God should choose for me The Lord shewed me things neerer thâ—n I saw them beâ—ore and smaller things as duties sins c. seemed greater to me then they had done I was helped by the Lord to beaâ— the affliction with that patience that I was so far from thinking it too heavy that I wondred it was so light I found a quicker discerning and a better taste to try words then before and to know who spoke and what was spoken discreetly seasonably and effectually That I had more sence of other sick and suffering Saints then I had before especially the poor and the rather because I considered how they wanted the accommodations I had As I had no extraordinary discoveries of the Lord so I had several small and mediate expressions of his tenderness and kindness I had clearer knowledge and greater conviction of some sins particularly 1. Self which I found to cleave to me ever to the end 2. Of Frowardness which I saw to be an abhoring to the Lord and it troubled me much to hear it in my Family 3. Wordliness especially in having to do with worldly men 4. Slothfulness in private duties 5. Want of more care to refâ—rm my Family 6. Using too many words about earthly things with my Wife 7. Using too much fleshly wisdom in my preaching and too much time wiâ—h too many words in my Sermons and too many complements to Saints offering Sacrifice or doing service unto the Lord when God would have me be receiving mercy from him this God shewed me once when being weak I went to perform duly I had comfort from the Lord. 1. From several Scriptures as Rom. 14 8. Philip. 1.21 Iob 33.26 Psal 71.3 Esaiah 1.25 Ezek. 21.44 Prov. 1â— the last verse Iohn 16.14 Ioh. 17. Prov. 7. to 21. 2. Gracious Answers of Prayer and feeding upon promises 3. From the Visits and Prayers of the Saints 4. That when I vvas to dispose of the estate the Loâ—d had given me I did find I vvas more thoughtful hovv to do it to Gods gloâ—y then I vvas to get it Some few of the Hymns found within his Papers A Hymn on the Sabboth day THe rest of rests to me is Christ in whom I do rejoyce His day a Sabboth is to me T is not mine but his choice He rose and rested on that day to shew his work was done His blest example is my Rule his Candle is my Sun This is the Queen of dayes to me For t is my Kings birth day He was begotten from the dead that I might live for aye Not live in lust to do my will but live to please my Lo d To preach his word and sit at board 'mong â—aâ—â—ts of one accord To pray and preach to sing and praise to meditate and talk From day dawning unto dark night should be our work and walk Another on the same The Sabboth is a day of rest from Service Work and Sin When God had ended all his work the Sabboth did begin God set apart the seventh day and did it sanctifie Adam in innocence was bound that holy kept should be Then to the Iews God gave command this day for to observe And sorely punish wicked men that from the Law did swerve But when the time that Iewish rites were to be done away Christ did set up instead of it another call'd by day This was prefigur'd in the Law and foretold frequently This Christ and his Disciples kept strictly and ardently This mindâ— us that the work is done which Christ ingag'd to do Christs resurrection was thereon which makes us keep it too Some without ground would sleight this day counting alike all dayes Yet I with Saints will keep the same to celebrate Gods praise Upon my going forth to Preach To be my Shephards underling his Sheep to seek and save It joyes me more then any thing no work else do I crave To free a Soul from Death and Hell more then my life I prize Converting Preachers make me one shall shine for they are wise O let me Lord have skill to bring thy lost and scattering Sheep Into thy School and Fould also to teach and feed and keep My Lambs and little Ones are like to perish and be lost Oh seek and save them Lord thy self thou knowest how much they cost Thy precious Blood was shed for them that they might ever have Enjoyment of thy precious self this had no more they crave Upon the occasion of preaching upon a Mountain How fair and eek how beautiful are those Messengers Feet That preach glad tidings on the Hills their voice must needs be sweet Sweet is thy holy Trumpets sound that calls and summons all To lissen to and list themselves under the General God gave his Law at first on smoaky Mount Sinai God oft times did appear to his in such a place and way Alters were built by Saints to worship the true God The Temple on a Mountain was built where God made his abode Christ did resort to Hills to Watch to Preach to Pray Châ—ist was transfigured on a Mount clad in divine array On a Hill he tryed was and that he overcame When from a Hill he did descend he had the greatest fame Christ wrought great Miracles on a barren Hill Christ did ascend from off a mount the Scriptures to fulfil Upon a Mount in Galile Christ gave commissions To his Apostles for to preach unto all Nations From off a Mountain high John saw that glorious sight The new Jerusalem Christs brâ—de cloathed in white and bright The Mountains minds us of Gods faithful promises Gods Wisdom Might and Providence on Hills appear all these The prosecuted Saints did hide themselves in Hills Their th' Idolators worshipped God after their crooked wills Christ Kingdome and his Church his Mount of holiness Shall break and quell all Mountains and all Hills of wickedness Gods Mounâ—ains shall bring peace the Hills shall leap and sing On Mount Olive Christ will stand to judge the world as King The barren Wilderness
THE Life and Death OF Mr. VAVASOR POWELL THAT Faithful Minister and Confessor of JESUS CHRIST Wherein his Eminent Conversion Laborious Successful Ministry Excellent Conversation Confession of Faith Worthy Sayings Choice Experiences Various Sufferings and other Remarkable Passages in his Life and at his Death are faithfully Recorded for Publick benefit WITH Some ELOGIES and EPITAPHS by His FRIENDS Heb. 11.4 Who being dead yet speaketh 11.38 Of whom the World was not worthy Rev. 14.13 Blessed are the dead which dye in the Lord they rest from their Labours and their Works follow them Printed in the Year MDCLXXI An Advertisement to the Reader MR. Powel a little before his death spent much time and pains in the composing a new Concordance to the Holy Bible with the chief Acceptations of the principal words in the Old and New Testament having also added marks to distinguish the Commands Promises and Threatnings The same is now Printed for publick good and to be had bound up with the Bible in 8to or in 12 o. at Booksellers Shops in London c. Also bound alone at 2 s. in 12 o. and 2 s. 6 d. in 8to being more usefull than any extant of like volume THE PREFACE THe holy Spirit tells us that whilst the wicked are to perish as their own dung their names rot and memories blotted out and cut off from the Earth That the memory of the Just is to be blessed to be had in everlasting remembrance and as an eternal excelleny they are to be the joy of many Generations And therefore is it that the Pen men of the Scripture have been so careful to transmit to posterity so faithful an account of the Worthies of former Generations to instruct others no doubt in like manner to Record and Preserve the memories of Worthy men in after Generations And surely not without special design of singular use and advantage when we consider First how much it tends to vindicate and preserve the precious savour of their names who for righteousness sake have been vilified and reproached cast out as evil and esteemed as Dung and off scouring And Secondly How much God is like to be glorified on their behalf for puttting so much Heavenly Treasure in Earthen Vessels and so fully magnifying his grace in them and by them Thirdly and especially by the holding forth thos Virtues Graces and Excellencies that shined in them they may though dead yet be speaking and so become living Monuments Patterns Examples and Preachers to them that come after them So that their Faith Love Patience Humility Zeal Courage Wisdom Temperance may provoke instruct and comfort many Their Temptations Tribulations patient Sufferings and Experiences help and strengthen more And of admirable use to the Church no doubt in all ages have been the Books of Martyrs and Lives of the Eminent Saints and Confessors that have done and suffered worthily in their dayes Men for the most part being apter to be Governed by Example than by Precept And therefore are those frequent and special Exhortations Heb. 6.9 Be ye followers of them who through faith and patience have inherited Promises Jam. 5.10 Take my Brethren the Prophets who have spoken to you in the name of the Lord for an Example of suffering affliction and of patience Heb. 13.7 Remember them which had the rule over you whose faith follow considering the end of their conversation Prov. 2.20 That thou mayest walk in the wayes of good men and keep the paths of the Righteous Cant. 1.8 Go thy way forth by the footsteps of the Flock Psal 37.37 Mark the perfect man and behold the upright for the end of that man is peace Heb. 12.1 Wherefore seeing we are also compassed about with so great a Cloud of Witnesses viz. the Catalogue of Eminent Saints Martyrs Confessors in the former Chapter let us lay aside after their Example every weight and the sin which doth so easily beset and let us run with patience the race set before us looking as especially unto Jesus Heb. 12.2 So also to Abraham our Father Es 51.1 That we may walk in his Steps Rom. 4.12 The good Kings in Israel took David for their Pattern and therefore are said to do right as did David their Father walking in his way The evil Kings were said not to walk with him but taking Jeroboam for their Example to follow his steps Fourthly A faithful record of the worth and excellency of good men is of excellent use to help forward the conviction or agravate and further the condemnation of malicious Persecutors who may thereby better understand who they are they have gone forth against what Persons of honour worth and renown and how like the Children of Kings Judg. 8.18 And that the reason of their so lifting up hand and heel against them is no other than theirs of old mentioned 1 Joh. 3.12 Joh. 5.16 Joh. 15.18 19 21. Joh. 16.2 3. 8.44 1 Cor. 2.8 Joh. 7.7 Psal 35.7 And to be informed therefore of that undoubted wrath and vengeance that will certainly overtake all such who not only imbrue their hands in the innocent blood of the Righteous in their day which cries for vengeance against them but become guilty also of all the blood that from the beginning of the World upon like account and in like spirit hath been shed as Mat. 23.34 35. And that what evil in word or deed hath been done to any of the Saints upon the account of Righteousness is reckoned as done to the very person of Christ Mat. 25.31 c. Fifthly That Gods displeasure and voyce of his Rod to the Generation where such stroaks are may be the better felt heard and layed to heart where such persons of worth and excellency are snatcht away such Angels Ambassadours Fathers recalled such shining Stars burning Lights savoury Salt taken away such Chariots and Horsemen of Israel removed foretelling greater judgements also neer at hand and loudly calling for due search after the cause Jer. 2.20 as well as a true repentance and speedy reformation for the same And so is the preserved Memory of the Just blessed to the glory of God to present and future Generations to Saints and Sinners good and bad here and hereafter in this World and that which is to come In which blessed Service is this designed undertaking to be adding another Link to the Chain of Worthies another Witness to the Cloud of Witnesses by endeavouring hereby to recommend and preserve his precious Memory who by the account yet obtained of him you will perceive hath attained so good a degree done so worthily in Ephraâ—a and famously in Bethlehem and certainly obtained a name if not with the three yet among the thirty of our Davids Worthies Which may be more obvious when you consider what is faithfully said of him First In his eminent Conversion who was taken in his Enmity and prophaness led gradually through legal darkness terrours and bonds to Gospel light love and liberty Secondly In his signal temptations
by visible representations and outwardly real apparitions At this time and long after he also shewed me my sins in their number and nature to be such and so many as that there was no pardon for them and therefore tempted me oft and divers wayes to destroy myself Sometimes by casting my self into a River to drown my self whither he brought me and whilst I reasoned the case with him this was frequently his motive to me the fewer sins I committed in this world and the shorter time I lived in it the less would be my torment He often tempted me also to destroy my self with a knife so that I was often necessitated to fling it out of my hand when I was at meat alone in my Chamber to rise from my meat for fear so that I durst not for some time carry a Knife with me But when the Lord did relieve sometimes by one means and sometimes by another I was strengthned with this resolution that God should do what he would with me for I would never do as Judas did destroy myself When Satan saw that he was disappointed in that temptation then he told me that I was a Reprobate and let me profess what I would my Damnation was sure and my hypocrisie and sinnes under profession would be worse than any other sinnes and therefore it were better of the two to lay down my profession and the duties thereof to that temptation the Lord helped me to answer him thus That whilst I lived in scandalous sins he never thus tempted me and I was resolved if I knew God would Damn me yet to have as few sins as I could to answer for hereafter When these temptations failed then he began to raise up Persecution against me as one day going through the Town where I was born from Kingston to Lanvaire-waterdine I met with two Gentlemen Kinsmen of mine in their drunkenness who called ' upon me to come to them and without any the least provoking word or carriage they fell both upon me and one of them with a Crab-tree Cudgel wounded me sore and their pretence was I had reproved them for sinne but God raised me up and gave me a heart freely to forgive them Another time four men laid wait in a secret place as I went upon a Lords day in a morning to the Ordinance with several weapons being all of them as was confesseed by one of them afterwards under a vow to kill me but God by his providence prevented them in sending two Strangers unexpected to help who riding before discovered them wherupon they fled yet vented their malice upon some other Christians whom they wounded But one of them that day came to a Meeting and in hearing of me was so convinced of his sinne that he was seen and heard publickly to repent for what he had done and never after was known to persecute any Another time a very wicked man entered into an Oath that when ever he met with me he would kill me he waited his opportunity dwelling near me several times to do it and one Lords day he went to the place where I preached with a full intention either at my going or returning home to execute his purpose but being at the Sermon and hearing Christ so freely offered to sinners the word did so affect him that he wept saying within himself what a villain am I to intend evil against such a man And the next day in the morning very early he came to the house where I lodged desiring to speak with me in private and with tears confessed this to me and desired me to pardon him and pray for him and ever after was very friendly to me Another time being in Brecknock-shire at an honest mans house I preached to several that were then together my Text was in Ezek. 34.16 from which I observed That though the little Flock of Christ be despised and dispersed yet they shall be gathered prised and preserved As I was handling this Doctrine about twelve or sixteen lusty rude Roysters broke into the house and did several times attempt to offer violence to my self and to the rest of the Brethren with me but it pleased God to restrain them at length by the procurement of Mr. Hugh Floyd the High Sheriff for the year I was bound over to the Sessions and an indictment preferr'd against me wherein I was accused first for drawing away the Kings Subjects Secondly for speaking against the Book of Common-Prayer Thirdly for Sacrilege Which last accusation was grounded upon the drawing down of a Meeting-house door by me and the Church-Wardens that the people which came in a great croud might hear with the better convenience but the Lord did so own his own Cause and me the unworthiest of his Servants that I was then delivered also Yet finding the persecution so hot against me that I could not be permitted to serve the Lord there I did by the advice of my Brethren leave my Native Countrey of Wales and by the guidance and providence of God was carried and conducted safely to London where I arrived in August Anno 1642. Another time as I was preaching upon the side of a Hill being denyed leave in a publick place a company of Roysters came with swords slaves and fowling-pieces and after some opposition one of them cryed down with him down with him but the Lord stirred up some of the people to preserve me and prevent them Another time a wicked Butcher who had long threatned me laying wait as it seems for me he one night stood in a narrow passage through which I was to come with a great Clubb but his blow falling short of me by the protection of God I escaped his hands During my abode in London where I continued Preaching for above two years I had great experience of Gods goodness in providing for me and in succeeding my Ministry to the spiritual good and conversion of many but the greatest of all my mercies since my conversion are as follows concerning the time and manner of my obtaining assurance After I had been about four years in constant doubts and great fears as to my eternal condition being often times tempted by Satan to destroy my self and Preaching also to others shaking and terrifying Doctrines particularly out of Luke 11.21 Take heed lesâ— the Light that be in thee be Darkness At that time for a Months space or above I was verey sad melancholy and much troubled neglecting to eat drink or sleep and this was occasioned principly through the apprehension I had of that distance which I saw to be between Christ and my soul which was set home upon my heart with much power from these words Cant. 2.9 Behold he stands behind our Wall he looked through the window upon me For I looked upon a Wall to be between Christ and my soul then me thought he came nearer and looked through the window upon me whilst I was in this estate refusing to be comforted the all-wise God
way of Judgment for the sin of a people 1 Samuel 8.16.19 Hosea 13.11 2 Chronnic 34.28 3. Though the worst Rulers do not Reign without the pre-science and permission of God yet such Governours as rule contrary to the revealed will of God and to the true end of Government do rule without Gods approbation and are accounted by him as noâ— Rulers Hosea 11.4 Ezek. 34.5.10.21 Jer. 5.1 And some of them are said in Scripture to have their power with and to exercise it for the Beast and therefore are called the horns of the Dragon and of the Beast Daniel 7.20.24 Revel 13.1 Chap. 17. â—3 16 4. As it is unlawful for Rulers to command any thing that God hath forbidden and to compell men to obey the same or to forbid any thing that God commands so it is lawful for the servants of God to disobey such commands Dan. 3 18. chap. 6.10 11. Acts 4.19 20. chap. 5.29 Concerning Antichrist Though there were many Antichrists in the Apostles time 1 John 2.18 yet there was one in a more special manner to come after those days who is called the Antichrist 1 Iohn 2.22 the man of sin 2 Thes 2.3 the Beast the false Prophet and the Destroyer Rev. 13. c. 9.11 2. This Antichrist is one that sits in the Temple of God assuming and exercising power above those that are called Gods above Magistrates 2 Thes 2. who beareth the woman or the Harlot the City Rome which was built upon seaven hills Rev. 17.3.9.18 who under pretence of being for Christ doth indeed fight against him and destroy his true Worship Rev. 13.7.11 who deceive the world by his miracles and lying wonders Rev 13.13 14. 2 Thes 2.9 whose reign was to begin at the fall of the Roman Empire 2 Thes 1.6 7. where together with him True Kings were to arise out of that state and is to give their power to him Rev. 17.12 13. All which since it is exactly faithfully and litterally agree to the Pope of Rome we may say concerning him Is this the Antichrist that is to come or may we look for another Concerning the conversion and calling of the Jewes Though the Partition Wall between Jewes and Gentiles was broken down by the Death of Christ Eph. 2.14.15 and now all true Believers both Jewes and Gentiles are brought into our Fold and special Fellowship John 10.16 chap. 11.51 52. Eph 2.16 17 18. Yet is the generality a body of that Relation the Jews for their unbelief hardness of heart rejecting of Christ and disobeying the Gospel were rejected and scattered so for the sake of their Fathers Abraham Isaac Jacob David and for the fulfilling of the promises made to them The Jews shall yet before the end of the world be generally converted and reconciled to God Rom. 11.25 26. to the 31. 2. Their conversion will be both a strange and a suddain thing and therefore is often called and compared unto the Resurrection from the dead and to a Nation born in a day Ezek. 37. Isa 66.8 9. 3. This glorious and great work of their conversion will be wrought in an extraordinary way as their deliverance out of Egypt was Mic. 7.15 Is 11.16 and seems to be by the appearing of the Son of Man or of the sign of the Son of Man in the clouds of Heaven Zceh 12.10 with Rev. 1.7 Mat. 24.30 31. 4. When the Jews are thus called many others will lay hold upon them and joyn with them because of the miracles and the appearance of God among them Zach. 8.21 22 23. 5. They shall return out of all lands where they are now scattered into their own Countrey as they did out of Egypt and Babylon Isa 11. chap. 2.7.12 13. they shall re-build the City Jerusalem Jer. 30.18 verse 31 38 39 40. and shall dwell there and their posterities therein and in the Land of Judah Zach. 2.12 chap. 8.7 8. chap. 12.6 and they shall partake in an eminent manner of the spirit and of his graces Ezekiel 39.24 Zach. 12.10 and be abundantly blessed with all co-eternal blessings The first and chiefest power upon earth will be exercised by and among them To the astonishment and destruction of their enemies Micah 4.8 chap. 7.16 Acts 7.1.6 A Short Appendix to this Confession of Faith or Signs of a True Believer 1. HE is one that hath had clear convictions of sin especially his master sin and unbelief also of the want and worth of Christ and of punishment for sin as the due desert of sin John 16.8 2. He is unbottomed and broaken off from himself he hath no confidence in himself his birth education parts performances and best works are impure in his own sight Phil 3. 3. Isay 64 6. 3. He is hardly brought to believe he hardly believes that he doth believe and hardly casts away his confidence when he doth once truly believe 4. He prayeth to God most against his dearest and master sin and praiseth God most when he hath poâ—er against it 5. He never repents for any sin forsaken or gooâ— he hath done or Affliction he hath suffered to Christ 6. In reading of Scripture he observes what help on his holiness and teacheth self-denial as well as whâ—â— increaseth knowledge 7. He cares not what he hath whether he goeth what he suffers with Christ and withouâ— Sin 8 He is one that resolves to follow Christ through every condition yet much suspects and fears he shalâ— not be able to hold out 9. He seeks and prizes holyness to serve God here as much or more then happiness hereafter 10. Above all care he bends himself to keep from his Master Sin 2 Sam 23.24 11. He neglects not his duty though he knows ther 's great danger in doing it Dan. 6.10 12. He is one that is careful to lay in and to get true grace in his heart as well as in his profession like the wise Scribe Matthew 13. and wise virgins Mat. 25. 13. He cleaves to the Lord and follows him in the worst of times when others forsake him not crying Hosannah to day and Crucifie him to morrow 14. He takes patiently and thankfully the harshest words and the hardest dealings from God 1 Sam. 3. 18. 2 Kings 20.9.19 Job 1.14 15. He is much affected with and afflicted for the sufferings of the godly and sins of the wicked as David Jerom Lot Paul 16. He is one that when recovered out of his back-sliding remembers his former good condition with praises more to God and hatred more to sin Hos â— 7 14 2 3. 17. He seeks and esteems sincerity more then any garnishing gifts and prizeth plain and poor Saints that are honest and upright more then those that hath parts and wealth if less sincere 18. He devoteth himself more to Gods fear and desireth grace for grace sake Neh. 1.11 19. His chief delight is amongst the Saints especially those that excell in vertue 20. He is one that upon the least apprehension of Gods withdrawing from
are 1. To be hardened by the deceitfulness and guilt of sin 2. To have my goodness inconstant and uncontinuing as the morning Cloud or Dew 3. Because I cannot attain to that I urge and press upon others 4. To find such little effect of the sufferings of Christ and of his Spirit in me and of the Resolutions I make and Duties I perform Seek three things 1. To secure thy Soul 2. A sound Heart 3. A sin-sick Soul or a Soul sick of sin Take heed of presumptuous sin which is in Heb. 10. 1. A willing sinning 2. Knowingly 3. Despising of the Iâ—w 4. Sleighting of Christ 5. Doing despight to the Spirit 6. Falling into the hands of the living God without Christ and Sanctification Some of the last Lessons I am endeavoring to learn 1. TO keep Faith and to keep down Flesh 2. To be bound as if I were free and married as if I were unmarried 3. To dye before I come to dye viz. Expect and long for it 4. To attend every Duty better and to depend on them less 5. To realize and experience Spiritual things more 6. To make eternal things nearer by Faith 7. To have all things I see hear and read to leave a deeper impression upon me especially the sufferings of the godly and the sins of the wicked 8. To get more Communion with God in my services and sufferings 9. To have my Heart to mind more what God intends and doth in the Nations then what men do 10. To account of Gods least things more and of my own greatest and best things less 11. To make improvement of all former sins and sufferings 12. To learn to feed upon Gods brown Bread which is affliction better then formerly upon his white Bread his Gospel Ordinances 13. Not to think doing or suffering work hard 14. To get my self quite raised and recovered by vertue from Christ conveyed by the Spirit through the Covenant of Grace 15. To cease from all childish things 16. To do the work and bear the Testimony of my day in the day 17. to have a fixed or constant spirit for the word in Heaven is the same Psal 51.1 10. in the mar in God and in beleiving and doing good 18. To see that condition I am in to be best for me Some of my last Experiences 1. To see one sin after another more clearly 2. To see that I am very weak and shoâ—t in that grace wherein I thought I most excelled 3. That the sin that had most strength in me through the assisting power of Christ is grown and growing much more weaker 4. That I am more and more encouraged and helped to beleive by the strength of Christ and that as sin hath formerly weakned Faith so now Faith weakens sin 5. The sin and danger of neglecting ones body in making it unserviceable to the Lord. 6. That when a Christian begins to grow carnal can less the Lord leaves him to him self for sometime and either to be assaulted troubled with some Temptation or to be overcome with some Corruption 7. That before God raiseth up a Christian to a more spiritual estate or causeth him to suffer God Many times lets him know himself by leaving him to some corruption or temptation 8. That when and from whom I feared temptations at that time and from such the Lord did ma y loâ—fly deliver me evâ—n from the thoughts of Evil. 9. That very day and a few hours before my g eat sickness in Sept 9. 1664. I was strongly assaulted with Temptation and God in very mercy and wonderful seasonably did then lay sickness upon me 11. That a true Christian that is troubled with his Corruption doth rejoyce greatly when God doth by any means prevent and preserve from them 12. Exceeding suitably did God one day apply the three following Scriptures Esa 54.14 Ezek. 34.21 1. Pet. 3.14.16.19 13. That to shun one kind of Evil I found my self very ready to fall into another 14. That affliction when it was new fresh and first laid upon me it made and left more impression then afterwards As a further discovery of Gods gracious actings in the Heart of this holy man you have this following taste of his Spirit in this Collection taken out of his Dyary or Iornal it being his custome to keep a dayly Observation and Record of every every remarkable Providence occurring to him and of the frame of his Heart in his spiritual getings and losings every day which for the most part were written in Characters yet some being at large you have a few of them hereafter inserted which by Gods blessing may rend to the Edification and comfort as well as Example of many His Book is entituled Some Memento's and Experiences of Gods gracious dealings with Vavasor Powel Deut. 8.2 And thou shalt remember all the way which the Lord thy God leads thee c. Psal 143.5 I remember the dayes of old c. Can. 1.4 We will remember thy love Psal 34.3 My Soul shall make her boast of the Lord c. Collections out of his Dyary THis day I observed as many dayes before that I have commonly Consolation and Affliction in the same day If I have comfort from the Lord that day by Communion or communication or otherwise in the morning I am sure to have some trouble that Night and if trouble in the Morning I am sure to have some refreshing that Night but there is scarce one day wherein I have not some breathings from God and to God and as sure buffetings from Satan This day was a very comfortable day to me in the morning I was refreshed by those words 31. Ps 15. My times are in thy hands c. by comparing that with Ier. 20.12 I had much comfort in the society of Gods People and several times in Prayer that day and power against evil thoughts yet that Evening I was assaulted strongly with sinful thoughts but in my flying to God in prayer against them they fled from me This day being the Lords day I had some communion with the Lord in private Prayer and a greater sence of the sufferings of his People upon my Heart and it came into my Heart to aske earnestly of God that I might love him better then my Life and better then my Lusts remembring that Scripture in the 2 Tim. 3.2.5 That Self-love and loving of pleasure more then God will be the two cheif Characters of Hyppocrites and Appostates in the latter dayes In the Evening I was again assaulted with Evil thoughts which necessitated me to fly to the Lord in Prayer and thence I learned this Lesson that sometimes the very sin of a Christian drives him to his Duty and Service sometimes by way of prevention either to the Scriptures for some word of promise or command against sin or to Prayer and sometimes after a Soul hath sinned it sees a necessity speedily and earnestly to confess it repent for it resolve and watch against it This
in giving it to them and of his being in Covenant with them and they with him if they carefully observed it and therefore it is called the Covenant Exod. 31.17 As Circumsion a sign of the Covenant is called a Covenant Gen. 17.7 My heart was moved to pray earnestly against sin and those words in Psal 72.12 13 14. were pretious to me he shall deliver the needy when he cryeth the poor also and him that hath no helper This day I learned from Psal 74.16 The day is thine and the night it thine that the State of affliction as wâ—ll as a State of posperity is of the Lord and necessary and to continue but for a time Then from Psal 76.10 Surely the wrath of man shall praise thee and the remainder of wrath thou wilt restrain I learned not to be troubled at mens fury for God would have glory thereby and God will restrain it when he will this day I perceived three things much wanting in me First Love enough to Christ to make me willing to suffer Secondly Repentance enough for Sin Thirdly Care enough in Gods service This day I had some inlargement in Prayer I learned also 1. That Prayer is a special remedy or means to prevent the Soul from sin 2. That ordinary spiritual Judgments as hardness of Heart c. go before outward Judgements 3. That it is a very sad sign as well as a great sin to refuse the Lord and his Counsel God complains Psal 81.11 That they would not hearken to his Counsels and that they would none of him I had some sence but trouble for want of more of the sufferings of Gods People in S and I was encouraged from the following Observations and considerations First That the man is blest whose strength is in the Lord Psal 8.4 5. Secondly That when God will return to his People and bring them back from their captivity he will forgive their iniquities cover their sins and take away all his wrath Psal 85.1 2 3. Thirdly That salvation is nigh to the People of God verse 9.4 That he will set his People in the way of his steps verse 13. This day supposed to be the longest in the year I judge it my duty to be strict in observing what glory to God or good to my Soul such a long day would produce 1. In the morning as the night before I had my Heart drawn out to pray earnestly against temptations especially one and I observed presently the temptation set upon me but the Lord delivered me from it and removed it from me for which my Heart was affected moved and raised to praise the Lord. 2. I learned that affliction draws out the Heart of the godly much in Prayer and Supplication Psal 8.11.13 3. I learned that it is not enough for a Christian to do good but he should carefully endeavour to do the cheifest and most seasonable good 4. By visiting some of the poorest Prisoners I observed this that sometimes in doing good a man may be in danger of receiving evil or a good disposition may bring a man lyable to temptation in the morning I had encouragement from Psal 91.9.10 Because thou hast made the Lord which is my refuge and there shall no evil befat thee I had much refreshing also in the communion of divers Christians I learned also from Revelations the 2.26.27 compared with the 12. Chap. 11. That he that suffereth for Christ overcometh ferendo vincere spero at the noise of the great thunder this night I was moved to consider the greatness of Iehovah whose voice was so loud I was troubled in the morning with many bad thoughts yet had some trouble for them but out of Psal 102.4.10.24 I observed three things 1. That the heart may be withered 2. That after God hath lifted up a Saint he may cast him down again 3. That Davids argument to move God not to cut him off in the midest of his dayes was because Gods years were throughout all Generations Being the Lords day I found my Heart in as good a frame as I had any day both in respect of tenderness and enlargedness in Prayer and likewise learned somewhat from divers Scriptures especially from 2. Pet. 3. From the consideration of what God had promised to do and the patience and long suffering of Christ and what the Saints did look for what manner of persons Christians ought to be viz. 1. Holy in all manner of Conversation and godliness 2. Looking and expecting the coming of Christ 3. Diligent in geting assurance and being found acceptable 4. Accounting that the patience of God intended from their good 5. Watchful and careful least they be drawn aside into Error 6. Lastly growing in Grace and in the knowledge of Christ I was observing from Psal 105.8 How God remembered his Covenant with his People yea and for them Psal 106.47 also his mercy Psal 98.3 And though they either forget or neglect either the one or the other yet what abundant comfort is this to Beleivers This day was a very good day to me in respect of several favours received from the Lord for which I desire to be earnestly thankful I learned to consider how far a man may go with a meer ascent to truth without experiencing the power of the same working in us I was also earnest with the Lord that in case he did not put an end to my sufferings he would put an end to my sin This was a day better resolved on then observed Oh how oft and in how many wayes are men disappointed in their purposes which shews all good to be in the hand of God and man to be a poor changeable weak Creature yet from Psal 107. I was noting how ready God is to hear the Cry of his People for four times in that Psal He is said to hear their Cry in trouble and to deliver them out of their distress verse the 6.13.19.28 and yet it is as observable how backward men aâ—e to return praises to God and therefore in the Psalms it is also said four times Oh that men would praise the Lord for his goodness veâ—se 8.15.21.31 Though this Evening I had some inward refreshing yet this Night I had sore Temptations of several sorts This day my Temptations continued strong yet with a resolution in the strength of Christ to resist beware of them and in consideration oâ— the words nevertheless notwithstanding and yet which I find frequent in the Scriptures used and applied to Gods People both after their sinning and under their suff ing I had some comâ—ort as Psal 106.8 44. 1 Kings 2. chap. 12. Psal 40.17 42.8 This d y frâ—m several Scriptures as Psal 119. 4. Acts 6.4 1 Cor. 7.3 compared togethâ—r I was convinced it was a special duty in which I was too nâ—gligent to give ones self to Pâ—ayer I also observed that neglecting the season so serviâ—e or duty pâ—oves sometimes a perfect oâ—ission of that dâ—â—y I also was observing â—he great
I had my Heart several times in a good frame of Prayer Fifthly I learned f om Psal 149.2.4 How it is mutually between God and his People they joy in him and he take pleasure in them I also was thinking of the grounds of Saints doubts about their salvation viz. Ignorance in the Covenant of grace want of observing their Hearts of keeping up Holiness Slothfulness and favouring some secret sin and not profiting by ordinances I was noting that the wicked are not ashamed to profess that they endeavour hurt to the righteous without a cause Prov. 1.11 and that the godly should gâ—ow more bold by how much the more their afflictions increase 1. Thess 2.2 I had my heart this day so tned in Pâ—â—yer I was this day convinced of the negligence in that duty of desiring to see the Faces of the Saints as Paul did 1. Thess 3.11 I received a special Letter this day from our dear Brother I. B. which suited much with my condition and judgement I learned a word from one that I could not expect such words viz. I did not heretofore prize neither great things that were temporal of spiritual but now I prize the least things of either sort from 2. Cor. 7. chap. 4 5 6. I observed 1. That in the greatest trouble Gods People may have the greatest comforts 2. That their comfort is originally from God 3. That God may send in these comforts at such times and in such a manner as they expect not this Evening my Soul was a little refreshed by divers promises and softned in Prayer Being the Lords day I observed from Prov. 3.16 In all thy wayes acknowledge him that godliness is an eying of God owning of God imitating of God and respecting of God in all our wayes and upon the consideration of these two following questions I had many thoughts some of which were refreshing and satisfying to me from the first question how we may know that we have received real good benefit by our afflictions Secondly How we may know when God doth afflict in Love and Faithfulness Psal 119.75.71 also divers other meditations from Rev. 12.10 They overcame by the word of their testimony and by the Blood of the Lamb c. and concerning the spiritual Race which a Christian is to run I had some enlargedness and tenderness of heart God according to his usual way and dealing with me foreseeing what I could not to wit more approaching affliction did this day administer an Antidote even comfort by Letters from the hands of several special Freinds also those words keep sound wisdome keep my saying in the midest of thine heart and keep thy heart with all diligence were I adjudged words worthy of observation hearing this Evening of a gratious Brother and Preacher sickness my heart was moved earnestly to pray for him I observed in the Morning a special exhortaion out of Prov. 5.1 My Son attend unto my wisdome and bow thine Ear unto my understanding also verse the 23. that sin is a great folly so chap. 18.13 Judg. 19.23 This day I received a sad Letter from a Brother T. E. that is turned Quaker which added much â—o my affliction the good Lord shew him the E â—or of his way and humble and reclaim him this day I was sensible of my aptness to be angry and was put seriously to enquire into the voice and will of God by these additional afflictions and I find a need of the continuance of them and my heart brought into a more submissive frame to bear and suffer his Rod. This day I bless the Lord was a good day to my Soul I had enlargedness and much freeness with some measure of softness and earnestness in Prayer especially for the Saints of God and perticularly for my own country Christians I had also a strong resolution to watch my self more carefully and do my duty more diligently then formerly out of Prov 7. I observed several helps or means to prevent and preserve the Soul from sin viz. 1. A laying up the Commandements in the Heart 2. A looking on them or eying of them 3. Getting endeared affection to Christ 4. By taking heed of the occasions thereof This day was but a flat drowsie day to my Soul nor great good gained but sin and grace not discernably active and affections unwarmed and unquickened yet convinced of lost time and comforted a little from 1 Thess 4. With thoughts of Christs coming I was this morning instructed from wisdomes words Prov. 8.8 All the words of my mouth are in righteousness and there is nothing froward in them that I should take more heed for the time to come of a froward Month and Tongue this day also I hope I can humbly say it I injoyed the Lord both in Meditation and Prayer and being sensible of the want of skil in beleiving and more diligence in sanctification and thereupon I am resolved through grace and hope to be enabled to take more heed to my ways and as the Lord also presented that Scripture to me Thess 5.15 But ever follow that which is good This day I had a check in my Spirit for lightness of heart and besides an outward special Providence I observed I learned from the sin I saw and heard of in others to loath or at least desired to loath it in my self I also observed from Prov. 9.18 That one main Reason why People do not leave sin is because they do not know or consider the punishment of sin also what a commendable thing it is for Christians to be patient and beleiving in all Persecution and Tribulations Thess 2.1 chap. 4. This day being the Lords day through Gods grace I had my heart much softened and enlarged to call upon God especially one time I observed also that that want of the love to the truth and love to unrighteousness are the causes of men falling from the faith 2. Thess 2.10.12 also anoâ—her excellent Lesson from that word 2. Thess 3 1â— where he speaks of busie Bodies which signifies properly to be too intent about the work we should not be This dâ—â— I had my heart set somewhat upon the consideration hâ— t vâ— p â—â—â—s Pâ—ov 11.2 12 13. The â—ust â—hall be delâ—veâ—ed and the just shall be saved on of troubâ—e 〈◊〉 dâ— I was noâ—eing a great difference between having the light and the love of the truth this day I received an Answer from a Christian Freind of a Bâ—others business of concernment which signified his love and care and increased my affection to him I was somewhat affected also with the sweet Counsel of Christ to the Church of Sardis I had my Soul in some good frame especially in Prayer and comfort from the consideration of the promises in Psal 1.3 That the good man shall bear Fruit and that his Fruit shall not wither and Isa 49.25 and Jer. 33.20 From the stability of the Covenant I likewise considered 1. That there is that in Christ which answers
she was nursed her whole time This day I observed from Lev. 26. Gods way of dealing outwardly with his People either in mercy or affliction according to their obedience or disobedience but though they have sined and brought punishment upon themselves yet upon their confession of sin humbling of their hearts and accepting of their punishment God remits their sins and removes the punishment this day God in his providence ordered that I should hurt and bruise my Leg which might have been much worse I humbly praise God for it and hope to profit by it This day my heart was very much enlarged softened and quickened in Prayer twice but especially once and raised through the power of God exceedingly to be willing to suffer I learnt 1. To beware of sleight and short repentance a thing I often consider off 2. To fear secret self conceitedness after the well performing of a duty 3. To take heed of the corrupting Flies of vain thoughts and idle words 4. From Pâ—ov 24.1 Not to desire the company of evil men 5. To see consider look and receive instruction from the Evil of others 6. That such as do the will of God but not with a good end shall be punished Hos 1.4 This day I was troubled with vain and wandering thoughts in solemn duties yet was made sensible of them and in some measure resisted them effectually I Learned from Prov. 25.22 how to perform my duty towards my Enemies and from chap. 26. 26. the danger of keeping secret sins that God will discover them before the Congregation God favoured me this day with kindness from and affected me somewhat with the relation and reading of Gods wonderful and strange works at which I desire to stand in admiration and to fear and tremble also to be affected with the sufferings of other Saints that differ from me I observed also from Prov. 26.23 How a wicked Hea t may be covered and undisceâ—ned as a Potshe d covered with dross also from chap 27.12 the Character and care of a prudent man viz. to foresee the evil and hide himself and from 2. Tim. 1. to learn to partake of sufferings and not to be ashamed of sufferers This day though I rose earlyer then ordinary yet through the multiplicity and continuance of company I made not such good impâ—ovement thereof I cannot say I profited much or gained or learned any thing unless it w re from P ov 27.12 That a prudent man foreseeth the evil and hideth himself also from 2. Tim. 2.11.12 I â—â—se ved great encouragement to suffer for Christ because we shall live and raign with him also to labour to be pure fit Vessels for the Lord to follow aâ—ter Righteousness Faith Peace Charity c. I was convinced this day of four things I was too negligent in viz. Studying the Scriptures sending to the Christians especially those to whom I relate finishing somewhat I intended and begun and improving my Talent in this place more to the benefit of other poor Souls I had my heart softened and in some measure enlarged this day in Prayer and truely affected with some Christians that came to see me I had some comfortable considerations from three promises Prov. 28.10 20 26. The upright shall have good things in possession who so walketh â—prightly shall be saved and who so walketh wisely shall be delivered I had also comfortable from Hos 3 4.5 Compared together and was put to consideâ— those in 2. Tim. 3.2 c. This morning though too slothful I had some bâ—eathings of the Spirit of the Lord and kindled affections in Pâ—ayer those words in Prov. 29.25 were some comfort and support to me the fear of man bringeth a sâ—aâ—e but who so putteth his trust in the Lord shall be safe among other considerations I had this day 1. I considered that it was the needfulâ—st thing in a dangerous time to get assurance of Gods favour and salvation and to make hast to repent and return to the Lord. 2. To consider our spiritual warfare and to qâ—iâ— our selves like Christians in striving for victory over our â—piritual Enemies I had comfort from that blessed pâ—omise Ier. the 33.7 8. Thâ—s dâ—y I had no great benefit to my Soul only from Hos 4 8.10 12. I observed 1. That to have the heart set on iniquity 2. To leave off taking need to the Lord. 3. To lose the heart or have it indisposed to good 4. To go from under God 5. To be left â—o â—â—n oâ— igno ant of the mind of the Loâ—d are most sad things alâ—o from the 2. Tim. 4. 1. To Watch 〈◊〉 all â—hiâ—g 2. Endure 3. To be doing our pâ—esâ—nâ— duty 4. Looking for our cha ge and dâ—â— nâ—â—ng oâ— God to be kept â—â—om evil were mâ—â—â—asoâ—â—â—e preâ—â—nt Lâ—ssons I â—ound some softnâ—sâ— â—â—nâ—eâ—ity of heart thiâ— daâ— and h d tâ—re speâ—â—â—â—â—d 〈◊〉 in things in my hea t to deâ—iâ—e â—â—om Coâ—â— 1. 〈◊〉 A th ough repentâ—nce 〈◊〉 recoveâ—y 〈◊〉 of foâ—mer sins 2. To be perâ—â—ctly pâ—â—served â—o the â—â—â—e to come from evil 3. To be 〈◊〉 or my dissolution or sufferings I received much kindness from the Lord this day the words in Hos 5.15 Till they acknowledge their iniquity or be guilty I considered and thought I câ—â—e short thereof yet those words Prov. 28.13 He that confesseth and forsaketh his sin shall find mercy This day I injoyed some measure of the Spirit in softening and drawing out of my heart in Prayer and somewhat in beleiving and tenderness towards others and those words Eccles 3 18. Of Gods manifesting unto men that they are but Beasts I desired to apply and to take heed of being guilty of any of those sins mentioned Hos 4. 1. Of setting the heart upon any iniquity verse the 8. 2. Of leaving to take heed to the Lord. 3. Of losing the heart or growing heartless in good 4. Of going from under God also from Titus the 1.14 not to give heed to the Commandments of men This was a day wherein God abounded in kindness towards me yet I was convinced that I was not guilty enough or sensible enough of mine iniquities as God requires Hos 5.15 and from Titus 2. I learned that a true Christian especially a Minister of the Gospel should be 1. Sound in doctrine 2. Sound in Faith and sound in Speech And concernining beleiving I had three things 1. To study more the grounds of Faith and the reasons inducing thereto 2. Not to give way to any thing against beleiving 3. To maintain Faith by holiness This day God was pleased to enlarge my heart in good and to weaken corruption making me sensible also of the present evils both of sin and suffering I learned from Titus 3.8.9 That Râ—generation Justification and Adoption are of Gods Love Pitty Mercy and meer Grace also to be ready to diligent in and profited by every good work and to be angry with my self for sinful things and deny my self in lawful things oh my trouble
at the time or nature of sufferings 8 To know remember confess and bewaile many sins which I was long ago guilty of 9. To search and find out many weaknesses which I was guilty of in Preaching perticularly levity setting forth Self and natural paâ—ts too much 10. To understanâ— divers Scriptures clearer and better I hope then I did before 11. To withdraw my eyes ear and heart from tempting objects Being the Lords day I was in the morning refreshed p ivately and in the afternoon the Lord was pleased to meet with my condition unexpectedly in two things also I observed the special care of the Church to please Christ and her fear to displease him mentioned three times Cant. 2.7 and 3.5 8.4 This day from Isa 1. God poynted out two things to me 1 To cease from sin cease to do evil verse 16. 2 I will take away all thy â—in ver 25. I also apprehended that the Pâ—ophesy in that 2 chap. is not yet fulfilled compare verse 4.19 21. together and those words in verse the 9 forgive them not c. This day I had a strong conviction of the sin of resisting or neglecting the motions of the spirit and upon a temptation to give way to sinful thinking I found power to side with and imbrace the spirits motions rather then the other I had a Letter from C. R. P. that refreshed me I was observing that when the Lord doth intend to secure a person preserve it he doth sanctifiâ— purge it that from Isa 4.4.5 ye or when he doth intend to make use of a man 2 Tim. 2.20.21 two other Scriptures I hope were lâ—â—d to my heart 2 Kings 10.9 But Jâ—hâ— took no heed to walk in the Law of the God of â—sâ—â—el withal hâ—s heart but espe ially to take heed of sin of trespassing in affliction more against the Lord 2 â—n on â—8 22. two sins I was likewise convinced of â—mâ—pend ng time and doing nothing extrao dinary for God and having a very streight dry hâ—â—â—rowâ— d God his cause people and wayes This dâ—y â—â—ing pâ—â—t of it spent in prayer I found my heart so â—e â—hat affected though often moâ—e my soul was vâ—â—y desiâ—oâ—s â—o have power over my affections 〈◊〉 I observed from Isa the 5 5. That when God doâ—h take aâ—â—â— me cy he doth the same time give men up â—o judgement bâ—t in thâ— 13 verse of that Chap. there S n â—xcellenâ— promise that when the Lord is exalted the lambs shall feed af er their manner that Sâ— in â—â—e Phil. 1.29 For unto you it is given in the behalf of Christ was I get to me i. e. by grace from 〈◊〉 his â—â—ke to beleive and sâ—ffer or on his behal i. e. foâ— taking part with Christ ye suffer I was assaulted to the morning with temptations yet after some diâ—tuâ—bance had some freedome from them yâ—â— observed a seasonable word from Isa 6.6.7 That as soon as hâ— Angel had taken the live coal from the Altaâ— and touched and laid it upon the Prophets mouth declared that his iniquityes were taken awâ—y and his sin purged so God can easily and speedilâ—â—â—move â—â—n from any other Saint This â—â—â—â—ning having some p ovacation I found my â—elâ—â—eâ—dy p esen ly to be moâ—d it 〈…〉 against him that accused â—e 〈…〉 towards my self also too much inclination to self justification suitable also in my course of reading was that Scripture Isa 7.12 where Ahaz thinking at least seemingly to avoid tempting God by asking a signe run into another sin viz. disobedience and Rebellion against God This day I had some full refreshings from the Lord and a fuller sence of things upon my heart then ordinary This was a day of light affliction upon my body of pain in my back which I supposed might have incâ—eased and heightned to a heavier distemper but â—he Loâ—d removed it by his bâ—essing upon small means I was dâ—awn out in my spi it to pâ—aise God for it â—as also to observe how the profits did take notice how the hand of the Lord was stretched out still Isa 9 12.17 â—0 4 whence I would learn to obsâ—ve the hand of God in affliction also I took notice of two sore evils in the people under affliction 1. Not to return unto the Lord 2. not to seek him in affliction yet two special promises chap. 10.20.21 That they should stay upon the Lord and return to the mighty God Thiâ—â—ay being the Lords day I had some real breathings of the spirit of the Lord in prayer as I conceived also freedome from temptation and a heart to praise God â—or it in some degree I was taken up with several thoughts which often amuze me 1. Of the word Patience of God 2. of his special love to me rather then others 3. of his infinite wisdome and power in the resurrection of man I had many observations as from Isa 11.3 that Christ a spirit of quick understanding or scent or smell as t is in the margent in the fear of the Lord such a spirit would I have I was also strongâ—y perswaded that that Chapter was not yet fulfilled also sweet was that word to me Chap. 12.1 Though thou wast angry with me thine anger is turned away and thou comfortest me This morning I was troubled with sinful thoughts and truly there are the sins that trouble me most but I found a heaâ—t to pray against them earnestly But God brought a most sweet word in a sweet manner to me viz. Ier. 13.19 Thou shalt call me thy father and shall not turn from me also another word in Chap. 5.10 Go up upon her walls but make not a full end â—lso from Isa 14.3 The Lord shall give thee rest from thy sorrow and from thy fear and from thy hard bondage and in the 30. verse the needy shall lye down in safety Some experiences recorded by him in a sickness he had the 3. of the 3 month 1658. Isay 28.9 The writing of Hezekiah King of Ind. when he had been sick and recoverd of his sickness 1. VVHen the Lord was pleased to visite me upon the suddain so sharply that I thought li e was flying and death seasing upon me God shewed me that all the world and creatures therein were all helpless 2. Looking up to God with a weak faith and in few words the Lo d was pleased to give some ease and releif by mitigating the pain 3. Afterwards when I came towards my designed place God ordered that some professors should meet with me who shewed mercy both in bringing me into a house and giving notice to brethren 4. That when I came to the house in extreamity of pain the Lord did give me some suddain and sweet sleep for 3 houres or more 5. That both upon the way when I was scarce able to stand and in the house when I was thirsty the Lord did enable me to deny my self that I neither sate down on the grass nor drank both which would have
good of Souls before their own worldly profit advantage but are rather so oppressing their Seâ—vants that they can hardly have any time day or night to give God what he requ res He used in his Family sometimes to repeat Sermons and inquiring what they remembred thereof sometimes what they had read that day in the Scriptures and what they had observed in their reading what providence they had taken notice of and what instruction from them sometimes propounding useful questions to them to resolve sometimes read and expounded a Chapter and informed himself how they understood it and what they remembred from it sometimes sing an Hymn and pray constantly which duties he performed twice a day if no more when at home and usually would alter both his method and his hours designing to bring them up to the life and not so much to live in the form of duties Those Servants that he saw careless of their Souls or sleep in duties not remembring what they heard he would charge warn and repâ—ove them most strictly and threaten to turn them out of his doors if they did not reform When his occasion led him abroad to preach which was very often he left with them strict charge to perform the Family duties amongst themselves As he was a housekeeper had all things provided decently and in good order his Husbandry and all his affairs well contrived and managed with great discretion This following account so well agreeing with the former and given in by his dear Wife Mr. Kathetherine Powel is thought meet here to be inserted He was exceeding tender to all persons to their inward and outward man bountiful in heart and hand to any he saw need or desire good from him a fifth part of all his income either of the little he had of his own or otherwise by providence came to him he dedicated to the Lords service and gave it to any in want much of it would he give to poor carnal persons saying we should not only be kind to one another for God is kind to the unthankful and unholy and that Christians should do good for the honour of the Gospel striving by this as well as otherways to make the poor World in Love with or at leaâ—â— have nothing to say against the good ways of God not the Professors of it Thoâ—gh he suffered much and of various kinds yet never retaind anger or disgust to the instruments but could weep in secret for them that their sins might be blotted out Noâ— ever did I know by any surprizing tryal unfitted for Prayer or any service for God A man of great sincerity and plainness either spake his heart in what he spake or else spake not at all nor omited speaking what he thought was his duty for fear of displeasing any and yet a most winning obliging carriage to all persons a man very observant how his Soul prospered to which end he writ every night what he had gained or lost therein that day either in the Scriptures Prayer Christian converse or other duties he was exercised in A man of great Faith in all things God has promised to his People relating to inward or outward man and as to his own particular when there was at any time shortness in either he went with much humble holy boldness through Faith in the Blood of Jesus to tell God what he wanted who did give eminent returns of that kind A man of great humility esteeming inferiour Christians before himself and willing others should do so too A man much in Prayer he set aside one part of the day alone to seek God for Sion not mixing other requests at that time and constant in Family duty morning and night at least and with his Wise before he went to Bed notwithstanding which immediately before he composed himself to rest took leave by committing again by a few words in Prayer to the Lord and so in the morning when he awoke renewed Communion afresh with God sometimes first by Prayer sometimes when his heart overflowed with spiritual joy in Songs or Hymns of Praises and that with a very broken and melting Frame A man very conscientious and exemplary in all relative duties and very punctual to his word if he promised any thing it was as binding to him as the most legal obligation he was naturally of a hasty spirit which if at any time brake out he would in a short space recover himself and come out of it return to as sweet and amiable a frame of spirit as could be desired and candidly acknowledge his passion and mourn over it He was a very strict and conscientious Observer of the Sabbath day viz. The first day of the week the Christian Sabbath not doing or speaking of that day what he saw lawful upon other dayes attending the duties thereof from Evening to Evening and as to the change of the day and the duties required in sanctifying thereof he hath with great judgement asserted from the Scriptures too large to be here inserted To these foregoing Testimonies tending to preserve the savour and precious memory of this eminent Servant of Christ as well as vindicate him from those reproaches that for zeal to his Masters service he was loaded with and that not only from bad men but through Emulation prejudice or mistakes even from good men also it is thought meet to add also the following Testimonial by some of his antient acquaintance and persons of known worth and integrity As for his birth we took notice that Gentlemen of the best Rank in the County of Salop Radnor Mountgomery c. saluted him as their Kinsman and for his Education though from his Childhood brought up a Schollar we measured it not by every dutty Way he hath travelled or fowl Dunghill he hath â—â—oden on but by the endowments of his mind as a man a Christian a Preacher His dexterous faculties both natural and acquired his Scripture Learning and Gifts of utterance adorning those several capacities If that saying be true Bonus Textuarius est bonus Theologus we may attest him to have been none of the meanest we cheifly pâ—ized his nurture and proficiency under Christ But lastly we look upon his work as a Flower above all in his Garden for Beauty Savour and medicinal vertue he was an indifatigable Labourer in the Harvest Peaching almost every day in one Parish or other and twice or thrice a day often 1. Christ and Moses excellency or Zion or Sina's glory treating of the two Covenants 2. A Dialogue between Christ and a Publican Christ and a doubting Christian 3. Christ exalted by the Father God the Father glorified and mans Redemption finished 4. The Bird in the Cage 5. Common Prayer no Divine service 6. Sufferers Chatichisme 7. A Scriptural Chatichism 8. Sinful and sinless swearing A Scripture Concordance He hath written several Books none of which impeaded one Sermon His acceptance was more then ordinary above many of his fellow Labourers in the Gospel
Oath to kill him and designed to attempt it at Guilsfeild where he preached where he was also at the same instant converted by the power of the Word Another time a woman came with a Knife to kill him as he was preaching in a Market place at Machinleth but was prevented At another time at Dollgelli in Marionshire as he was preaching he was assaulted by a rude rabble who with Stones Swords Staves and Pol-Axes attempted him and many of his company but he vvas strangly delivered though in their hands Not long after in the same Tovvn being indited and acquit at the publick Assizes for a Riot upon the the former business a vvicked Fidler vvas hired to kill him vvho vvith a Weapon under his Coat attempted it tvvice vvhilest he stood at the Bar but vvas prevented Another time going to preach in Mallwyd Kirk yard several rude People assaulted him and his Freinds vvhere he vvas sorely beaten and bruised on his head A Souldier shot a Brace of Bullets at him looking out of his Prison Windovv in Mountgumery but God preserved him Upon the taking of Anglesey he vvas in the midst of the Enemy and particularly assaulted by one that knevv him Wounded in the Head Hand and Grine but God brought him off as before Four times he vvas delivered out of the hands of Robbers and several strange preservations vvere vouchsafed him from perils by Water both in England and Wales and vvonderfully protected in seven dangerous falls from his Horse in his journyings upon the Lords service Of his several imprisonments 1. The first of that kind he met vvith vvas in Brecknock-shire about the year 40. vvhere he being Preaching in a House vvas about 10. a Clock at Night seated vvith 50. or 60. of his Hearers by fifteen or sixteen levvd Fellovvs pretending a Warrant from one Justice Williams vvho took them forthvvith avvay in the Night tovvards Belt the said Justices house but in the vvay meeting vvith a Kirk and an Alehouse too common yoke Fellovvs in Wales they vvould have haid them into the Ale-house vvhich they refused and chose the Kirk rather vvhere about Midnight he vvent to Prayer sung a Psalm and taught from Mat. 10.28 Fear not him that can kill the Body c. and it vvas observed that one of the cheifest and vildest of the troublers did weep sorely the next Morning he vvas brought to the Justices house vvho not being at home at their first coming in he betook himself to his Bible and preached there again vvhereat the Justice vvhen he came in vvas much inraged to find him at such vvork in his house but tvvo of his Daughters vvho seemed to relish the Word begd him not to do any thing against him and his Companions but such vvas his rage that he presently committed them to the Constables hands vvho vvas so favourable as to permit them freely to enjoy religious exercise and vvorship vvhich they did at the said Tovvn of Belt and the Neighbourhood generally attended both that Night and the next Morning the next day the Justice sent for them again to examine them further having got tvvo or three more Justices and six or seven Preists vvith him vvhere after much conference and many threatnings discusts them at that time 2. Another time Preaching at Launger in Radnorshire in the Feild the publick place not being able to contain the Company Mr. Hugh Lloyd the high Sheriff came with a Band of men and took him down out of the Chair wherein he Preached and after examination committed him and charged several Constables fifteen or sixteen being present to execute his Mitimus vvho all but one refused the same who took him into his custody and undertook to convey him to Prison and as he went with him his house being in the way the Constable permitted him to lodge at home that Night who was so convinced whilst he was at Family duty that he declared he could not go a step further with him though it should cost him his life being perswaded he was one of the Servants of Christ and so took leave and left him in his own house though because of the cruelty of the Justice durst not return home but went for sometime out of the Country yet to prevent damage to the man but especially scandal to the Gospel bound himself with two sufficient Sureties to appear the next Assizes in Radnorshire where appeared accordingly and their three Bills of Indictment preferred against him from which upon the Traverse the Judges and Jury befreinding him he was acquit and the Judges afterwards inviting him to Dinner and desiring him to give Thanks one of them said it was the best Grace he ever heard in his Life giving him great countenance which proved much to the furtherance of the Gospel in those parts to the great offence of the high Sheriff who afterwards upon the coming on of the War persecuted him out of the Country He being in London about the time that General Cromwell took upon him his supream Power so impartial was he and so great a Lover of Justice that what ever had been the endeated intimacy and freindship betwixt him and the General yet did he that day he was Proclaimed which was the 19. Decem. 1653. Witness against that Action to those persons that were appointed to Proclaim him And on the said day being the second day of the Week did he with others Preach at Black fryars where he also bore a publick Testimony against it Upon the fourth day of the same Week he and another were taken into custody by several Messengers from the Council and carried Prisoners to White-hall many freinds came thither to accompany them to observe the issue during the time they attended in the outward Rooms Mr Powel took occasion to Preach to the People from a portion of Scripture and in the midst of his discourse was sent for inâ—o the Council and committed Prisoner for words spoken in Black fryars he continued in the custody of the Messengers till the last day of the same Week being the 24. of December and then was discharged On the next day in the afternoon at the publick Meeting-house in Newgate-market called Christ Church he Preached from those words Acts 5.25 Then came one and told them saying behold the men whom yee put in Prison are standing in the Temple and teaching the People He joyned as you have heard with several Christians in Wales in that Letter and publick Testimony that was sent to Oliver Cromwel against his Usurpation which he he understanding before it came up caused a Party of Horse to be sent for him and to be bâ—ought to his Major General at Worcester they took him at Aberbecham in Mountgumery shire From a day of Fasting and Prayer and detained him sometime a Prisoner upon that account Upon the second Month called April 28 1660. Early in the Morning Mr. Powel dreamed that a company of Souldiers were coming to take him Prisoner which he no
the Bench but that neither Mr. P. nor several others present did hear why do you suffer him to speak and shew contempt to his Majesty he hath said that neither the King nor his Council had power to tender him the Oath P. Sir I wonder how you dare speak so and wrong me publickly before the Bench and the Court I appeal to them or either of them or any here present whether I spake any such thing or any word tending thereto at which all were silent knowing it was a false accusation as one of the Officers of the Court no friend to Mr. P. afterwards confessed but wished he had spoken it that they might have had such an advantage against him But hereupon the Dr. again went out in a fume and came in no more Iustices The three Justices remaining prayed Mr. Powel again to take them and would suffer him no longer to speak but bid one of the â—fficers of the Court shew him the Oaths and give him the Bible bidding him lay his hand on the Bible P. To what end do you tender me the Bible I am not to swear by the Bible but by God himself and in that manner which his word directs Iustices The Law requires you should do it in this manner P. What Law Iustice H. The Law of the Land P. Which Law of the Land there is the Common Law the Statute Law and the Civil Law I have not read that by any of these the laying of the hand on a Book is absolutely required or essential to an Oath Iust H. Yea the Law doth require it P. I pray you Sir what Law be pleased to instance in these acts by which the Oaths are enjoyned there is no such ceremony required nor I suppose by another law to this neither he nor any other replyed only another Mr. H. said but Another Justice H. It is the common practice and why should you differ from it P. Sir Common practice is not my Rule but what is grounded upon Gods word or good Reason I shall observe Sir I. A. Come let us trouble our selves no further he refuses to take them or words to that purpose P. I desire all the Court to take notice that I have not refus'd to take the Oaths but I having taken them already am not bound to take them again and that they are not tendered me according to Law Iust Then the Justices commanded the Jaylor to take the Prisoner away P. Gentlemen since I may not be further heard about the Oaths I desire to be heard in somewhat else with much adoe they granted so much leave will you be pleased to take sufficient Bail till the next Sessions Just The Justices were silent the Jaylor made answer publickly no. P. Sir Are you one of the Judges of the Court that your No should stand But the Justice did not give him the least check for his sawciness Then P. said further Gentlemen I have been near eight years a Prisoner and in 13 Prisons and yet in all these I have not received so much incivility as from this man Mr. Jaylor and therefore I desire liberty to take a private Chamber in the Town giving security for my true Imprysonment but to this the Justices returned no answer but commanded the Jaylor to take the Prisoner away which was done accordingly and returned to Prison again About three moneths after this a friend in London got a Habeas Corpus to remove him to the Common-Pleas Bar which the Sheriff refused to obey then came an Alias under Penalty of a 100 l. upon which they sent him up but would not let him know of his journey before hand But about 8 a clock one night the Under Sheriff came to give him notice to be gone in half an hour and so took him with a Guard 8 miles that night being the 16 of the 8 moneth 1669. and brought him to Westminster to the Common-Pleas Bar the 22 of the same Where upon the Examination of the Return it was found illegal but S. M. their Council pleaded he had nor had time to view it and desired time till next day which the Judges granted Thereupon Mr. P. moved the Court to take bail then and discharge his guard which had been granted but that S. M. said No my Lord then he will go preach to which the Prisoner replyed that it was as lawful for him to preach as for him to talk there at the Bar. The next day he was brought into the Court again and the return was again argued the Prisoner having the liberty to open his Case himself and though the return was by all the Judges judged false and illegal yet was Mr. Powel committed to the Fleet Prison by the Court where he remained a Prisoner from the 24 of the 3 mon. 1669. till he was discharged by death the 27 of the 8 mon. 1670. Of his Sickness and Death THe 25 of the 7th moneth being the first day of the week he preached forenoon and afternoon many being admitted to hear him and that with much life and zeal First from those words John 6.37 All that the Father giveth me shall come to me and him that cometh to me I will in no wise cast out And in the afternoon from Hosea 14. latter part of the 8. verse I am like a green Firr Tree from me is thy fruit found These were the last Sermons he ever preached At night he was weary as he used to be and took some refreshing after his exercise and rested well that night But in the morning after he was up found himself not well his Stomack oppressed with inclinations to vomit and purge and as his manner was did by drinking plain posset provoke himself to Vomit and so went to his Study as aforetime In the afternoon came a friend who desired he would meet him at London the 5th day after about some business of concernment which he promised to do The next day and day following his distemper increasing some friends judged it inconvenient for him to go to London as he promised and therefore disswaded him what they could but in as much as it was to do some service for some of the Lords people he said he would trust God with his preservation and upon the 5th day went accordingly by water to the Temple stairs wrapped warm but upon landing found stimself unable well to go which constrained him to take Coach that shook him very much but came to his friends house and dispatched his business That night he took one of Mathews pills and slept very well but in the morning after he was up and had brohe his fast fell very sick and vomited yet afterwards somewhat better again He then wrote a Letter to a friend in Wales telling him he was not well and that that might be the last Letter he should ever write to him and so it was He returned that evening to his prison and upon his going to bed found his distemper to grow upon