yea and almost no kinde of senses was left in him upon apprehension of some back-sliding hee was so perplexed that if he had been in the deepest pit of hell he could almost have despaired no more of his salvation But yet every one of these three last named was at length blessedly recovered and did rise most gloriously out of these desperate conflicts and extreamest spirituall misery before their end Heare part of Mistris Breterghs triumphant songs after the returne of her Well-beloved M. Bolton ibid. pag. 85 86. O Lord Iesu dost thou pray for me O blessed and sweet Saviour how wonderfull how wonderfull how wonderfull are thy mercies Lord I feele thy mercy and I am assured of thy love and so certaine am I thereof as thou art the God of truth even so sure doe I know my selfe to bee thine O Lord my God and this my soul knoweth right well c. 2. This following Narration witnesseth with what sweet tranquillity of minde Master Peacock recounted Gods love welcommed his presence when the storme was once over 3. Master Glover saith M. Foxe ibid. though he suffered many yeares so sharpe temptations and strong buffettings of Satan yet the Lord who graciously preserved him all the while not only at last did rid him out of all discomfort but also framed him thereby to such mortification of life as the like lightly hath not beene seene in such sort as he became like one placed in heaven already and dead in this world both in word and meditation led a life altogether celestiall abhorring in his minde all profane doings No arme of flesh or art of man can possibly heale or helpe in these extreamest horrours Heaven and earth men and angels friends and physicke gold and silver nay the utmost possibility of the whole Creation must let this alone (r) Psal 49.7 8. for ever An Almighty hand must take this in hand or else never any cure or recovery in this world or that to come Oh therefore let us take the stinges out of our sinnes betimes and prevent the incureablenesse of their horrible wound by an humble sincere and universall turning to the Lord while it is called To Day (ſ) Heb. 3.15 For assuredly all the sinnes wee have committed in thought word or deed at any time in any place with any company M. Bolton ibid. or to which we have been any waies accessary will one day be stings and scorpions to our naked soules they all are upon record before that high and everlasting Iudge written by the hand of divine Iustice in the booke of our conscience with a pen of Iron and there they lie like so many sleeping Lions gathering much enraged and desperate poison that whensoever our hearts are thorowly rouzed M. Bolton pag. 89. and finally awaked they will flie in our faces tormenting us most ragingly and tearing our wofull soules in pieces everlastingly when there is none to deliver (t) Psal 50.22 Therefore let us consider often in our saddest thoughts Consid 1. 1. Why we came into the world were fashioned in the wombe and drawne out thence 2. Why we were made men and women in the image of God reasonable creatures and not toads or serpents 3. Why we were borne and bred up Christians in the Sun-shine of the Gospel the glorious light of grace and not made Pagans Turkes Infidels or borne in the hellish darknesse of Popish Idolatry but in a Land of righteousnesse Where the eyes of the Lord and the Sunne of righteousnesse are upon us from the beginning of the yeare to the end of the yeare (u) Deut. 11.12 Doubtlesse this is an unspeakable mercy and was not therefore vouchsafed unto us that we should only live to our selves (w) 2 Cor. 5.15 carnally and sensually to eate and drink and get gaine but for more heavenly ends And therefore as ever we hope with comfort to looke the Lord Iesus in the face at that great day let us minde the things that concerne our everlasting peace (x) Luke 19.42 pursue the one (y) Luke 10.42 thing that is necessary and lay up in store for our selves a good foundation against the time to come (z) 1 Tim. 6.19 that we may lay hold on eternall life Consider that our dayes are but few (a) Iob 10 20. we have but a very little time to live here and upon this span-long life depends eternitie let us therefore walke with God (b) Gen. 6 9. and behave our selves here that we may hold out in the (c) Prov. 16.4 evill day It is another place we must all live in for ever The kingdome of heaven suffereth violence (d) Matt. 11.12 and the violent take it by force Many shall seeke to enter in (e) Luke 13.24 and shall not be able What comfort will it one day be to have wallowed in all sensuall pleasures or lien soaking in luxurie and lasciviousnesse when we must ere long lie on our deaths-bed like wilde (f) Isay 51.20 Buls in a net It is good to make hay while the Sunne shines to pray heare reade and repent betimes to store our selves with Oyle (g) Mat 25 10. before the Bride-groome comes lest we knock too late when the doore is shut As wee spend this life so will it bee with us in the life to come therefore live well here that it may be well with us at our latter end (h) Lam. 1.9 3. All the riches Consid 3. honors and pleasures under the Sun will not availe us (i) Prov. 11.4 in the day of wrath It will then no whit profit us to have gained the whole (k) Matt. 16.26 world if we lose our owne soules to have enjoyed the pleasures of sin (l) Heb. 11.25 for a season and to lie weeping and wailing and gnashing of teeth in hell for ever O that men were wise and would consider this (m) Deut. 32.29 and that they would remember their latter end The clearest Sun in the Hemispheare that shines most gloriously in the brightest summers day certainely may and who sees it not oftentimes overcast and muffled up in dark clouds ere it be night Who can say the weather shall not (n) Luke 12.56 change with him May not our sun goe downe (o) Ier. 15.9 Amos 8.9 at noone and set sadly under a cloud Nay we must look for changes and chances in this mortall life and therefore daily had need to pray as it is in our Liturgie and waite all the daies of our appointed time (p) Iob 14.14 untill our last solemne change shall come Our soules like a Ship at sea underfull saile are all bound for the faire havens (q) Acts 27.8 of the fortunate Islands I meane everlasting blessednesse who knowes but that he may be sore tost and rent and shattered not able to beare up * 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 Acts 27.15 against the angry surges yea and may hardly
terrible horrours I thanke God I never continued in any known sin against my conscience He was willing that wee should pray with him Kneeling downe he said He was then uncapable of prayers Afterward hee kneeled downe of his owne accord shortly after he broke out into such speeches I damnable wretch Those are not your words saith one you cannot deny but you have good experience of Gods mercy c. I cannot Then be comforted for Whom he once loveth he loveth for ever Yet Satan took such advantage at his infirmities that though he could finde some comfort yet no particular assurance You have lived profitably saith one I have endeavoured You are now humbled and the Lord lookes you should aske mercy Master Dod was sent for who being come they were private awhile afterward comming unto him againe Master Dod put him in minde of Gods kindnesse whereof hee shewed him foure parts 1. To take small things in good part 2. To passe by infirmities 3. To be easie to be intreated 4. To be entreated for the greatest sin there is now in you Now for the image of the olde man Adam sin and sorrow there shall be in you the image of the new man in holinesse and happinesse and righteousnesse The life to come might be set out by three things 1. By the estate it selfe happinesse holinesse and glory 2. By the company every one shall love you better than any one even the best can love you here 3. By the place There are three differences between the afflictions of the good and bad 1. From the cause for they come to the good from Gods love 2. In the measure as far as they need and are able to beare 3. In the end for their good Of those former doubts we after heard not a word from him upon the Sabbath day he desired to be alone after noone he was fearefully troubled In his countenance appeared evident tokens of a sorrowfull minde borne up with a weake body his spirit was wounded Satan had foiled him Those his terrible wrastlings with temptations griefes of conscience and restlesse terrours none can understand much lesse expresse but he which felt them Satan had winnowed him and shewed him nothing but chaffe his tender conscience was grieved with the fiery darts of the devill pointed with the edge of sin and sense of Gods heavy wrath as through a false glasse the dazeled eye of his astonished and amazed soule could see nothing but hideously-appearing sinne and the terrible image of death and damnation he had drunke deeply of the dregs of hell his adversary had represented unto him his owne most gracious God as a most severe Iudge displeased angry and chiding with him yea yeelding him up into his clawes that so by this deadly stratagem hee might take from him all hope of help that way and so not only stop the sensible flowing of Gods grace and cut the chaines of Gods love wherewith he had tyed him and would draw him after him but finally break his Christian soule O that you had seen and that wee which were present had had eyes to have seen his seeming forlorne soule with what barkings of conscience and with what too heavy burdens of sin waves of fearefull thoughts blustering blasts and surging stormes of Gods heavy displeasure he was tossed turmoiled and dashed against rockes of despaire more then in danger of his soules shipwrack happy were we if neither through frowardnesse nor blindenesse of judgement wee did inconsiderately passe by or prophanely deride Gods judgements by thinking that they either happen casually or by forgetting of them suddenly If we could but rightly discerne it we should finde nothing more profitable than to have the image of this gracious though now afflicted soule in our consciences hereby wee may see that The righteous scarcely being saved 1 Pet. 4.18 there is no place for the wicked and ungodly to appeare And truly we may thinke that our God even sent it for our sakes that we with whom it is too usuall to dally with God might know Heb. 10.31 that it is afearefull thing to fall into his hands Our faith is tryed in earnest when as the Lord hideth his face from us for if we love God above all it cannot be but that at the losse of the rellish of his favour or least taste of his displeasure our soules should be in bitternesse tormented wounded thrust through yea and swallowed up with desolation It is a wonder to see in the world how we will ride and runne and carefully will seeke physick and use dyet by any meanes to avoid bodily paine and how carelesse we are of the unprofitable fits of the soules mortall sicknesse It is not in our owne power to apprehend grace when we will and a harder matter it is than we can conceive to lift a poore soule up that is cast downe with the sense of Gods wrath If a violent passion may so far transport the minde what may we thinke of this restlesse trembling when the soul after long tossings seeth it selfe drowned and overwhelmed with a deluge of sorrow proceeding from the everlasting threats of shame and confusion of face in the presence of the Almighty Consider the body laden with a burden neither portable nor evitable and thence gather the struglings of an overladen soule Consider a man ready to fall from an high Tower to the Earth and thence gather the estate of another falling from heaven with a spirituall ruin into hell Consider a childe when the mother hideth her face from it and terrifies it with a bug-beare and therein take view of the estate of a poore Christian whose chiefest happinesse having consisted in being joyned and united to his heavenly Father having now lost his presence or being affrighted with the devill as if he were ready to lay hands on him Consider the estate of a debtor cast off by his best creditors and gather that of a Christian being bankerupt with his God Consider the estate of a man once in favour afterward adjudged to death by his Prince without hope of pardon and repriving and gather that of a Christian who after his citation and arraignment at the tribunall seate of God stands condemned and is wholly deprived of obtaining pardon and delivered into the hands of the devill The Lord needs not to seeke wilde beasts to punish us or such like executioners of his wrath to torment us he may finde enough within us all the furies and devils cannot invent a grievouser torment then a wounded conscience One by it apprehended needs not more accusers or tormentors his many thoughts of sins as if he stirred a nest of Waspes come buzzing about his eares and as a man indebted once laid hold of makes him faster daily His loving friends may stand by the prison and call him but he being fast fettered can not come forth You shall see him now in his Purgatory not that Papisticall sin-satisfying fiction the Popes Jayle but that
your selfe No. You would amend if you had space Oh if I had certainly Thinke on this the Lord hath heard the ejaculations of your spirit in your infirmities So he will now If he will be glorified by your life submit your selfe to him Let him chuse for you My saith is weake All you know here are but in part sanctified You desire now notwithstanding to come to that which is perfect for you may see how many have beene brought home to the Lord. Some have beene Idolaters was not Manasseh such a one 2 Chro. 33.12 13. Yes And behold Gods servants from the beginning of the Bible to the end have slipped Gen. 19.33 35. Lot had shrewd slips but yet heare the testimony of the Apostle concerning him 2 Pet. 2.7 8 He was just and righteous c You have been weary and heavy laden Yes For such is the end of Christs comming Come unto mee all that are weary Mat. 11.28 c. Your desire is a token of favour for by how much the nearer we come to Christ the more we thirst Thinke now of his loving kindnesse he that began he will finish Phil. 1.6 whom you have served I did But with what vile imperfections It is the greatest perfection here to see your imperfections Shortly after came to him many young Gentlemen to whom he said Live in Gods feare that you may die in his favour otherwise the Oxe and the Asse will condemne you I spent my time foolishly and prodigally You have said and remembred that sufficiently remember also Christ That is true Christ is to bee remembred and our sins to be remembred also Then he told us also that the use of reason did begin to faile him The night following which was Wednesday at night the Sun of Righteousnesse spread gracious beames at his setting Mal. 4.2 which were comfortable tokens of a glorious rising This last Swan-like-Song as he uttered it was penned by some as he uttered it One comforting him by his bed-side some two houres or more before his death he brake out into these speeches Quid de salute measentiam expectatis explicarem usque adeo indulget Deus iis quos semel dilexerit ut eos nunquam deserat atque ideo in coelos me transiturum pro certo habeo foelicissima sunt ea vincula in quibus me confixit Deus meus benignissimus Doe you expect to heare from me what I believe concerning my eternall salvation Truly God doth for ever so endearedly tender and is so unconceivably mercifull to all those whom he hath once loved that he never finally doth forsake them and therefore I am most assuredly confident that I shall depart from hence into heaven Happy thrice happy be those cords of affliction in which my most gracious God hath tyed and bound me One telling him You have fought a good fight Expedit expedit ut contendam ad coelum tollite tollite eripite ut coelum adeam Deâ—â— indulget ingenuitati bonorum It behoves it behoves me to strive for heaven Lift me up help me out rid me hence that I may passe straight to heaven God favourably accepts the endeavours of his Saints Being put in minde of Gods mercy towards him he answered Oh the sea is not so full of water nor the Sun of light as God of goodnesse His mercy is ten thousand times more Being likewise remembred of Gods goodnesse toward him in filling his soule with such comfort after so great tentation he said I doe God be praised feele such comfort from that what shall I call it Agony saith one that stood by Nay that is too little that if I had five thousand worlds I could not make satifaction for such an issue Being moved to lift up his soule in token of thanksgiving to his God he uttered these words What should I extoll the magnificence of God which is unspeakable and more than any soule can conceive Nay rather let us with humble reverence acknowledge his great mercy What great cause have I to magnifie the goodnesse of God that hath humbled nay rather that hath exalted such a wretched miscreant and of so base condition to an estate so glorious and stately The Lord hath honoured me with his goodnesse I am sure he hath provided a glorious Kingdome for me The joy that I feele in my soule is incredible Hee made like use of that which he alwaies before taught touching Justification by imputed righteousnesse and appealing to the knowledge of some there present what he continually maintained in that saith he I still remaine a Protestant After three Chapters read to him in Revel 19.20 21. and the eighth to the Romanes Oh said he they be glorious comforts Will you have any more read Yes A Psalme if you please and named the hundred three and twentieth One beginning to reade it he desired that it might be sung One asking him will you sing Yea said he as well as I can The Psalme being sung afterward the seventeenth of S. John was read unto him One comforting him in applying that in particular which Christ in generall performed for the good of the faithfull hee said Blessed be God! often I am a thousand times happy to have such felicity throwne upon me a poore wretched miscreant After a little rest Lord Jesus said he into thy hands I commit my spirit Lord receive my soul Lord lift thou up the light of thy countenance upon me and be mercifull unto me Then very weake he repeated the Lords prayer twice and his Beliefe once very plainly and distinctly with a strong voice to the great admiration of the hearers And so hee slept in the Lord. December 4. 1611. FINIS IMPRIMATUR Johannes Hansley Martii 14. 1640.