book if any man shall adde unto these things God shall adde unto him the plagues that are written in this book and if any man shall take away from the words of the Book of this Prophesy God shall take away his part out of the Book of life and out of the holy Citty and from the things which are written in this book well still I was put upon it to continue seeking the Kingdom of God and the righteousness thereof and the promise that all other tâ—ingt should be added unto mee Then did I with some others seek the Lord by fasting and prayer for councel what we should do and wheter we should go to injoy communion with the Lord in the way of his pure worship and the Lord was pleased in love to answer my desirs in a wonderful manner for being then intangled with a house of which my Husband had a lease for some years and upon that account was unwilling to remove not knowing how to dispose of that house But yet the Lord was pleased in a short time to make him willing that I should remove if I could get of that lease and some goods I had which the Lord soon holp mee in by sending one unexpectedly the very next day after my Husband declared his willigness for my removal upon those conditions who took of the lease of the house of our hands with those goods and so I was made free So forth with I removed to a place where I did injoy the heating of a good man preach and had the sweet benefit of some private meetings which was much refreshing unto mee but yet two things I was very earnest with God for 1. One that I might be filled with the clear witness and full assurance of the eternal Spirit 2. And the other that I might injoy more full and close communion vvith God in all his blessed ordinances in both vvhich God vvas pleased to ansvver mee in some measure as to the first he did let mee see that I had sinned against him in that I again questioned that assurance vvhich before he had given mee in and then he brought vvith most vvonderful renevving povver those Scripturs vvhich many years before at several times under several ordinances vvere set vvith much povver and evidence upon my heart But first God vvas pleased to shevv mee that it vvas onely unbeief that had caused mee at the appearance of temptation and corruption to question his love and doubt about his kindness and so to conclude against my self But the Lord did shevv me that all this doubting vvas from my evil heart of unbelief the sence of vvhich one morning especially God did set upon my spirit to the breaking of my heart so that for three dayes together I vvas greatly afflicted in my spirit and continued crying unto God as one that could not be anij longer contented vvithout the Light of his countenance vvith a renevving seal of his Love long sought vvith sighes prayers and tears and in the third day morning he did send the comforther the Spirit vvhich vvith invvard light life and povver set upon my heart these follovving Scriptures 1 John 3 2. Now are wee the sons of God and it doth not yet appear what wee shall be But rather rejoyce because your names are written in heaven Luke 10 vers 20. And who soever will let him come and take of the watters of life freely Revel 22. 17. And my grace is sufficient for thee 2 Cor. 12 9. Oh! I cannot utter the joy that then was in my heart by the mighty operation of the spirit And then after that this word came upon my spirit and grieve not the holy Spirit whereby thou art sealed unto the day of redemption and then God did answer mee that there was sufficiency in his grace in Christ to pardon all my sins past present and to come Then as to my other desire which was aftet more communion with God in his ordinances After waiting the Lord was pleased to set it upon my heart to believe that my habitation should be removed and that I should injoy my desire by the time called Easter and so it was accordingly and I through mercy after I had gotten the renewigs of the seal and clear witness of the Spirit lived for about a quarter of a year as it were in Heaven upon earth but then began a cloud again to araise and I was under the buffetings of some sore temptations God with drawing in a great measure though not the witness of the Spirit yet the com forts of his Spirit which before I did injoy and I conceive this might be the cause of it which I wish all others may take heed of for it cost mee deare under that sweâ—t soul refreshing communion I had with our heavenly Father I gave way to some doubtings and questionnings whither there was not a delusion in the thing I then injoyed This temptation lasted some six dayes and I had no peace day nor night when I was awake to think that I should grieve so good a God and cause him to depart from mee And Satan not changing his weapons made mee think that there was something in mee that I did not so fully resist him for when our dear Lord Jesus was tempted he by his powerful resistance made him to change them So I lay mourning before the Lord but could not set to praying for the violence of this temptation Then mysleep dâ—puted and I grew sick then God gave mee to mind that Abrahams wâ—râ— lay before mee when he went to offer sacrifice he was to drive away the fowles Gen. 15. this work the Lord directed mee to do by laying hold upon Jesus Christ who had prayed for mee though I could not now pray for my self Jo. 15 v. 17 19. And so soon as my heart was brought to believe this I was presently delivered and in all this temptation the Lord hid not his face from mee blessed be his name And then as the Lord carried mee over the Sea where I did injoy further and fuller communion with himself in his ordinances he gave mee another occasion for the exercise of saith and Patience For whilst I was upon that voyage the vessel that I was in was pursued with enemies and troubled with contrary winds so that we were in great straits But God gave me to believe that he that delivered Paul out of his straits would also deliver us out of ours and so it was blessed be his name and so very safely was I carried unto that place that the Lord called mee unto But presently after I was there arrived the Lord was pleased to exercise mee with several afflictions First by taking away a child by death and then by laying upon my self such a distemper that my joynts and sinnews were by fits bound up that I could not stirre them nor take any rest while it lasted my pain was so great no Doctor could do mee any good though several physitians
the pit And lowest place of Hell Admire admire my love to thee VVhich took thee from so low And set thee in high places free VVhere thou my love might'st know VVing thou aloft and cast thy self Into mine Arms of love Look up look up and thou shalt see My glory is above Let not the wicked know thy joy But let my servants hear VVhat I have done for thee my love Since thou to mee drew'st near My servants walk in clouds and bogg's They do not see my light The day draws near and will appear That I will shine most bright I will appear in my glory and be a perfect light Admire admire the thing that I will do All nations shall it hear and know VVhat I am doing now I will a habitation be To them that fear my name They shall lie down in safty and Give glory to the same All they that in high places sit And takes their honours low Shall be made tremble quake and pine VVhen they my Iustice know Come hide come hide come hide with me Come hide thee in the Rock Come draw thy Comforts high from mee I my treasures unlock Also it was agreed upon by some of the Lords people with whom I was then present that we should appoint and keep a day of solemn seeking the Lord by fasting and prayer that wee might know what was the duty Gods poor Children ought to be found in at that time but after this was agreed upon and the day appointed I was before the time came removed about 30 miles from them and so that thing went out of my minde but God by his Spirit set me upon the same work by five in the morning the same day and about the middle of the day God brought to my remembrance that agreement so we were at the same work at the same time though far distant one from another and indeed the Lord was graciously present pouring out much of the spirit of prayer and supplication after which earnest seeking of God was this following prophesye given in unto mee Shall light appear and darkness done away Shall Sommers green be cloathed all in gray Shall a bright morning set in shadowees dark Oh! England Englandâ— take heed thou dost not smart And after this prophesy was set upon my heart that notable promise 2 Chro. 7 14. Iâ— my people which are called by my name turn from their wicked wayes then will I hear from heaven and forgive their sin and will heat their Land Next morning about four of the clock being in my bed I had this laid before mee that God would affict that nation with great afflictions but I not knowing what God would try the Nation with did desire this of the Lord that I might chuse with David rather to fall into the hands of God then into the hands of merciless men it was much upon my heart at that time that the Lord would turn a fruitful land into barreness for the wickedness of them that dwell therein Then the Lord was pleased to lay upon mee a sore affliction which I finding my self very unable to bear did as it were repent mee that I in any measure had chosen my condition and did not rather wholy submit to the will of God but the Lord did mee good by it and his strength was made persect in my weakness Then was it much set upon my heart to consider what then were the sins of the nation for which there was cause of great humiliation and indeed the consideration of these following evils was much set upon my heart 1. That great sloathfulness deadness and unfruitfulness under the means of grace which we injoyed for which the Lord threatened of old Isa 5 vers 5 6. To lay his vineyard wast to plucke up the hedge and breake downe the wall there of 2. That great abounding sin of unbelief notwithstanding the large experiences we had of Gods power for us and love to us And this I saw did cause persons to seek themselves and the world Unbelief cut them and us short of that rest that many yea the most of us promised to our selves As this unbelief of old cut Israel short of rest Heb. 3 10 11. 3. That Idolatry which mee thought I saw abounding in the nation in a threefold sence 1. First in respect of false wayes of worship contrary to the rule of the Gospel and primitive exemple 2. Secondly in respect also of resting upon duty and so not resting upon Iesus Christ that Rock of ages this also was one of poor Israels evils crying out the Temple of Lord c. Ier. 7 4. 3. In respect of coveteousness this in Scripture is called Idolatry also Oh! that too too earnest desire that was in some after the Foulish vanities of this present evil world and in others after the vain profits of the world and in others also after the vain glory and preferment thereof these things were much upon my heart and this was that for which God was angry of old with his people and smote them and hid his face from them Isa 57 17. 4. Fourthly That pride that I saw abounding in the lives of many I fear was in the hearts of others Which appeared in their slighting the Councel of Gods Spirit and their persifting to go on in seeking and setting up self nothwithstanding the hand of God against them These sins being very much set upon my heart with a deep consideration of many Scriptures some of them was very great and sore threatnings and other some were most sweet and precious promises to such as repent and departe from all iniquity one of which I remember was that very remarkeable place 2 Chron. 7 14. Then I looked upon it as my duty to make this known that people might be warned to depart from sin that so they might not partake of the great wrath and sore displeasure of God which I much feared was coming Then soon after I had an oppertunity to declare this to some that then were in high places and in the very entring I had this added which I also declared Didst thou not hear a voyce from on high Deny your selves take up the crosse or verily you shall die And this was approved on by some and received as a very sluitable and seasonable word but pour soules for not hearkening unto councel in departing from sin they were soon brought down and laid low yet there is mercy with the Lord that he may be feared and he will manifest his love to all them that truely repent and we may all make a good use of this experience therefore let others harms become our warnings Also about the year 1658. to the best of my remembrance for having lost my book in which I had set them down in order I now wait onely upon the Lord and as he by his Spirit helps mee so I give an account of these things It was given in with aboundance of power upon my spirit these few
given mee a tast of the riches of his pardonning love and grace in Christ Jesus I was also carried out to pitty others and begge that God would let them also tast of the same and a particular person was set upon my heart to begge of God for and in a short time the Lord was pleased to answer my desire in working a work of grace in that soul Then I was called by providence to remove into a dark family where I had lived some time beofore and I then finding much opposition against mee was not willing to go thither again but set my self to pray not that I might be willing to submit to the will of God but that I might not remove into that family though had I then understood it my call was clear enough being earnestly desired there unto by my husband and invited by the family who now professed they could not be without mee though when I was there before they did not affect mee well being lofty and could not bear such admonitions that sometime letting fall among them but upon the importunity of my husband and this family I then at length set my self to seek the Lord that my heart might be made to submit to his will what ever it were and that if I did go I might some way or other be useful to him in that place Now that which made mee so unwilling to go unto that family was because of the opposition that I had met with before in the wayes of God and then a want of the means both of preaching the word and fellowship with the Saints But upon my earnest seeking to know the mind of God and to be brought to submit unto it my heart was soon made willing to go which accordingly I did and I had not been long there before it pleased the Lord to worke upon one of the family to my great comfort and refreshing who was one that I looked upon as unlike as any in the family Also the Lord was pleased by death to take away a child from mee which was to my casting down and for some time I was under a cloud and questioned whither I were a child of God and whither my child were saved In that time a good man laboured to comfort mee telling mee before the Lord gave mee a son he gave mee his own son Oh said I that I could see that why said hee if you will see that take head of a cursting law a slandring devil and an accusing conscience all which the Lord hath delivered you from and therefore now wait upon the Lord I am confident the Lord will appear in this thing And the Lord was pleased after seeking of him to set it upon my heart that that child was well with him and that he had such another mercy for mee on earth which he gave mee faith in notwithstanding great oppositions against at that present yet after some half a years waiting upon the Lord I was assured of it A fit of desertion After this the God of comfort was pleased to withdraw and leave mee in a deserted condition which I found to be very sad and I was very much perplexed in my spirit but could not speak of it unto any But going to hear a Sermon the Minister was upon that Text Lord forsake mee not utterly that is to say not overlong least the spirit should fail before thee hee then shewed what desertion was and why God doth sometime seem to leave his own people Because said he throug some pride they thougt they could walk alone and so neglected their watch then God hide his face that they might see their own insufficiency and know that all their peace strength and comfort is in and from him And this through mercy was a great help unto mee at that time Further while I was under that ministry God was pleased to convince mee of the falsness of their Worship which in that place then was used and having an opportunity to go with others to the communion as they call it I could not kneell as the rest did but sat down as if I had kneeled and as I there sat it came upon my heart to think thus as if it had been spoken to mee why dissemblest thou a worship before the Lord hee that commands thee to kneel there may as well command thee to kneel at an Altar although at that time there was nothing known of setting up of Altars which thing I made known to that Minister and did warn him that if Altars should be set up that he would not for filthy lucre sake kneell at them himself nor compel others so to do But he told mee he could not believe any such thing should be but if it should bee so he promised mee he would not conform to them But in a short time after he found il too true for Altarts were reared up and he poor man contrary to his promise did comform himself in that thing and compelled others so to do but the first time he did so it pleased the Lord to smite him with a sore languishing disease that he went out no more Soon after I was at the Christenig of a child as they call it at which time God was pleased to convince mee of the evil and falseness of that piece of Worship also Then was there in the nation a publique fast proclamed and by mans invention there was a form of prayer made and appointed to bo read in every assembly that fast-day this was a third conviction that I had about their formal outside way of worship I had then an opportunity to come into one of those assemblies that fast-day while that prayer was reading at which present this thought came strongly upon mee Is this a worship in spirit and truth which thy soul when it is upon the wing with God cannot joyn with all for I could not joyn with the words then read in that formost prayer Upon which I even melted in my spirit and fell into shedding of tears resolving to seperate from and come no more to joyn in such a way of worship until I had very diligently searched into the true way of Gods worship as it is written in his blessed word and in order there unto I made use of all the best books I could get that were then published to that purpose and also called in the help of many Godly Ministers of several judgment but when all this was done I was still unsatisfied in that behalf And then did I cry unto the Lord to teach mee and it was by the Lord set upon my heart that I must not do any thing in the way of his worship but what I had ground for in his holy word that Gods Servants were alwayes to observe his pattern in all that they do to him and that Scripture was much set upon my heart Rev. 22. vers 18 19. For I testify unto every man that heareth the words of the prophesy of this