my sudaine fortunes I can command a custerd and other bakemeats death of sturgeon I could keepe house with nothing what friends haue I how well am I beloued ee'n quite throughout the scullery not consent t is ee'n as I haue writ I le be hang'd and shee loue mee not herselfe wold rather preserue me as a priuate friend to her own pleasures than any way aduance her daughter vpon me to beguile herselfe then how haue I relieued her in that poynt let me peruse this letter Good mistris Quomodo or rather as I hope ere the Terme end mother Quomodo since only your consent keeps a loofe off and hinders the copulation of your daughter what may I thinke but that it is a meere affection in you doating vppon some small inferiour vertue of mine to draw me in vpon your self if the case stand so I haue comfort for you for this you may well assure your selfe that by the marriage of your daughter I haue the better meanes and opportunity to your selfe and without the least suspition This is moouing stuffe and that workes best with a Citizens wife but who shall I get to conuey this now my Page I ha sent forth my Pandar I haue imployd about the country to looke out some third sister or entice some discontented Gentlewoman from her husband whōe the laying out of my appetite shall maintaine nay I le deale like an honourable Gentleman I le bee kinde to women that which I gather i' th day I le put into their purses at night you shall haue no cause to raile at me no faith I le keepe you in good fashion Ladyes no meaner men then knights shall ransome home your gownes and recouer your smocks I le not dallye with you some poore widdow woman would come as a necessary bawd now and see where fitly comes my mother curse off pouerty do's shee come vp to shame me to betray my birth and cast soyle vpon my new Suite let her passe me I le take no notice of her Scuruye murrey Carsey Moth: By your leaue and like your worship Leth: Then I must proudly venture it to me good woman Moth: I beseech one word with your worship Leth: Prethe be breife then Moth: Pray can your worship tell me any tydings of one Andro Gruill a poore sonne of mine owne Leth: I know a gallant Gentleman of the name one master Andro Gruill and well receiude amongst Ladyes Moth: That not he then Hee is no Gentleman that I meane Leth: Good woman if he be a Gruill hee 's a Gentleman i' th mornings that 's a Gentleman a' th first you canot tel me Moth: No truely his father was an honest vpright Tooth-drawer Leth: O my teeth Moth: An 't please your worship I haue made a fore iourney out all this vacant time to come vp and see my sonne Andro poore Walter Gruill his Father has layd his life and left mee a lone woman I haue not one husband in all the world therefore my comming vp is for reliefe an 't like your worship hoping that my sonne Andro is in some place about the Kitchin Leth: Kitchin puh fah Mo: Or a seruingman to some Kinght of worship Leth: Oh let mee not indure her Knowe you not mee good woman Mo: Alasse an 't please your worship I neuer sawe such a glorious suite since the hower I was kersend Leth: Good shee knowes me not my glory do's disquite mee Beside my poorer name being drencht in Lethe Shee le hardly vnderstand me what a fresh ayre can doo I may employ her as a priuate drudge To passe my letters and secure my lust And nere be noted mine to shame my blood And drop my stayning birth vppon my raiment faith good woman you will hardly get to the speech of master Andro I tell you Mo: No Marry hang him and like your Worship I haue knowen the day when no body carde to speake to him Leth: You must take heed how you speak ill of him now I cantell you hee 's so employde Mo: Imployde for what Leth: For his behauiour wisdome and other vertues Mo: His vertues no t is well knowen his father was too poore a man to bring him vp to any vertues hee can scarce write and reade Leth: Hee 's the better regarded for that amongst Courtiers for that 's but a needy qualitie Mo: If it be so then hee le be great shortly for he has no good parts about him Leth. Well good woman or mother or what you will Mo: Alack the day I know your worship scornes to cal me mother t is not a thing fit for your worship indeede such a simple old woman as I am Leth: In pitty of thy long iourney there 's six-pence British tend vpon me I haue busines for you Mo: I le waite vpon your Worship Leth: Two pole off at least Mo: I am a cleane ould woman an 't like your Worship Leth: It goes not by cleannes here good woman if you were fowler so you were brauer you might come neerer Mo: Nay and that be the fashion I hope I shall Exit get it shortly there 's no woman so ould but she may learne and as an old Lady delights in a young Page or monckey so there are young Courtiers will be hungry vpon an old woman I warrant you Exit Enter Lethes Pandar with a Country wench Pand: Come leaue your puling and sighing Count Beshrew you now why did you entice me from my father Pand: Why to thy better aduancement wouldst thou a pretty beautifull Iuicy squall liue in a poore thrumbd house i' th cuntry in such seruile habiliments and may well passe for a gentlewoman i' th Citie do's not 5 hundred do so thinkst thou and with worse faces oh now in these latter dayes the Deuill raygning t is an age for clouen creatures but why sad now yet indeed t is the fashion of any Curtizan to be sea-sicke i' th first Voyage but at next shee proclaimes open wars like a beaten souldier why Northampton-shire Lasse do'st dreame of virginity now remember a loose-bodied Gowne wench let it goe wires tyres bents and bums felts and falls thou that shalt deceiue the world that Gentlewomen indeed shall not be knowen from others I haue a master to whome I must prefer thee after the aforesayd decking Lethe by name a man of one most admired property he can both loue thee and for thy better aduancement be thy Pandar himselfe an exlent sparke of humility Count Well heauen forgiue you you traine me vp too 't Pand: Why I doe acknowledge it and I thinke I doe you a pleasure in 't Count And if I should proue a harlot now I should be bound to curse you Pand: Bound nay and you proue a harlot you le be loose ynough Count If I had not a desire to goe like a gentlewoman you should be hangd ere you should get me too 't I warrant you Pand: Nay that 's certain nor a 1000. more of you
a match twixt master Qomodoes the rich Drapers daughter and your selfe Rer: Faith sir I am vildly riuald Cock: Vildly by whome Rer: One Andrewe Lethe crept to a little warmth and now so proud that he forgets all stormes one that nere wore apparell but like ditches 't was cast before hee had it now shines bright in rich embroderies him master Quomodo affects the daughter him the mother onely mee I rest most doubtfull my side being wookest Cock: Yet the mothers side being surer than the Fathers it may proue men pleade for money best women for loue Rer: Slid master Quomodo Cock: How then affraid of a woollen draper Rer: He warn'd mee his house and I hate hee should see me abroad Quomodo with his two spirits Shortyard and Falselight Quo: Oh my 2. spirits Shortyard and Falselight you that haue so enricht me I haue industrie for you both Sho: Then doe you please vs best sir Quo: Wealthy employment Sho: You make me icth sir Quo: You Falselight as I haue directed you Fals: I am nimble Quo: Goe make my course commodities looke seeke with subtile art beguile the honest eye be neere to my trapwindowe cunning Falselight Fals: I neuer failde it yet Exit Fals Quo: I know thou didst not But now to thee my true and secret Shortyard Whome I dare trust ee'n with my wife Thou nere didst mistris harme but master good There are too few of thy name Gentlemen And that we feele but Citizens abundance I haue a taske for thee my pregnant spirit To exercise thy poynted wits vppon Sho. Giue it me for I thirst Quo: Thine care shall drinke it Know then I haue not spent this long Vacation Onely for pleasures sake giue me the man Who out of recreation culls aduantage Diues into seasons neuer walkes but thinkes Nerides but plots my iourney was toward Essex Sho: Most true Quo: Where I haue seene what I desire Sho: A woman Quo: Puh a woman yet beneath her that which shee often treades on Yet commands her land fayre neate Land Sho: What is the marke you shoote at Quo: Why the fayrest to cleaue the heire in twayne I meane his Title to murder his estate stifle his right in some some detested prison there are means and waies enow to hooke in Gentry besides our deadlye enmitye which thus stands they 'r busye 'bout our wiues We 'bout their Lands Sho: Your reuenge is more glorious To be a cuckold is but for one life When land remaines to you your heire or wife Quo: Ah sirrah doe we stinge 'm this fresh gallant rode newly vp before me Sho: I beseech his name Quo: Yong master Easye Sho: Easye It may fall right Quo: I haue enquir'd his haunt stay ha I that 't is that 's he that 's he Sho: Happilie Quo: Obserue take surely note of him hee 's fresh and free shift thy selfe speedily into the shape of gallantrye I le swell thy purse with angels keepe foote by foote with him out-dare his expences flatter dice and brothell to him giue him a sweete tast of Sensuality traine him to euery wastfull sin that he may quickly neede health but especially money rauish him with a dame or twoo bee his bawde for once I le bee thine for euer drinke drunke with him creepe into bed to him kisse him and vndoo him my sweete spirit Sho: Let your care dwell in me soone shall it shine What subtiltie is in man that is not mine Exit Quo: O my most cherefull spirit goe dispatch Gentrye is the cheife fish we Tradesmen catch Exit Easye What 's here Sale: Oh they are bils for Chambers Eas: Against Saint Andrewes at a Painters house ther 's a faire chamber ready furnisht to bee let the house not onely endowed with a newe fashion forepart but which is more conuenient for a Gentleman with a very prouident backe-doore Sale: Why here 's vertue still I like that thing that 's necessary as well as pleasant Cock: What newes in yonder paper Rerra: Ha seeke you for newes there 's for you Sale: Whose t is in the name of the blacke Angels Andro Gruill Rer: No Andro Lethe Sale: Lethe Rer: Has forgot his fathers name poore Walter Gruill that begot him fed him and brought him vp Sale: Not hither Rer: No 't was from his thoughts hee brought him vp belowe Sale: But do's he passe for Lethe Rer: Mongst strange eyes that no more knowe him then he knowes himselfe that 's nothing now for master Andro Lethe a gentleman of most receiued parts forgetfulnes Lust Impudence and Falshood and one especiall Courtly quality to wit no wit at all I am his Riuall for Quomodoes daughter but hee knowes it not Sale: Has spyed vs ore his paper Rer: Oh that 's a warning to make our duties ready Cock: Salute him hang him Rer: Puh wish his health a while hee le be laide shortly let him gorge Venison for a time our doctors will bring him to dry mutton seeme respectiue to make his pride swell like a Toade with dewe Sale: Master Lethe Rer: Sweete master Lethe Lathe Gentlemen your pardon I remember you not Sale: Why we supt with you last night sir Lethe Oh cry you mercy 't is so long agoe I had quite forgot you I must be forgiuen Acquaintaince deere societie suites and things Do so flowe to mee that had I not the better memorie T would be a wonder I should know my selfe Esteeme is made of such a dizzy mettall I haue receiu'd of many gifts ore night Whome I haue forgot ere morning meeting the men I wisht em to remember me agen They doo so then if I forget agen I know what helpt before that will helpe then This is my course for memorie I haue been told Twentie preserues the best I find is gold Ey truely are you not knights yet Gentlemen Sale: Not yet Leth: No that must bee lookt into t is your owne sault I haue some store of Venison where shall we deuoure it Gentlemen Sale: The horne were a fit place Leth: For Venison fit The horne hauing chast it At the horne wee le Rime to that Cock: Tast it Sale: Wast it Rer: Cast it Leth: That 's the true rime indeed wee hunt our Venison twice I tell you first out a' th parke next out a' th Bellie Cock: First dogs take paines to make it fit for men Then men take payne to make it fit for dogs Leth: Right Cock: Why this is kindnes a kind Gallant you And loue to giue the dogs more than their due We shall attend you sir Leth: I pray doo so Sale: The horne Leth: Easily remembred that you know Exeunt But now vnto my present busines the Daughter yeildes and Quomodo consents onely my mistris Quomodo her mother without regard runs full against mee and sticks hard Is there no law for a woman that will run vpon a man at her owne apperill Why should not shee consent knowing my state
life But so to mocke his funerall Eas. Most iust The Liuerie all assembled mourning weedes Throughout his house een down to his last seruāt The Herauld richly hirde to lend him Armes Faind from his Auncestors which I dare sweare knewe no other Armes but those they labour'd with All preparations furnisht nothing wanted Saue that which was the cause of all his death If he be liuing Iudg. T was an impious part Eas. We are not certaine yet it is himselfe But some false spirit that assumes his shape And seekes still to deceiue mee Quo. Oh are you come my Lord their here good morrow Tomazin Iudg. Now what are you Quo. I am Quomodo my Lord this my wife Those my two men that are bound wrongfully Iud. How are we sure y' are he Quo. Oh you cannot misse my Lord Iud. I le trie you Are you the man that liu'd the famous cousner Quo. O no my Lord Iud. Did you deceiue this Gentleman of his right And laid Nets ore his land Quo. Not I my Lord Iud. Then y' are not Quomodo but a counterfet Lay hands on him and beare him to the whip Quo. Stay stay a little I pray now I remember me my Lord I cousned him indeed t is wondrous true Iud. Then I dare sweare this is no counterfet Let all doubts cease this man is Quomodo Quo. Why la you now you would not beleeue this I am found what I am Iud. But setting these thy odious shifts apart Why did that thought prophane enter thy brest To mocke the world with thy supposed death Quo. Conceiue you not that my Lord a policy Iud. So Quo. For hauing gotten the lands I thirsted still To know what fate would follow 'em Iud. Being ill got Quo. Your Lorpship apprehends me Iud. I thinke I shall anon Quo. And thereupon I out of policie possest my sonne Which since I haue found lewd and now intend To disinherit him for euer Not onely this was in my death set downe But thereby a firme triall of my wife Her constant sorrowes her remembring vertues All which are Dewes the shine of a next morning dries 'em vp all I see 't Iud. Did you professe wise cousenage and would dare To put a woman to her two dayes choice When of a minute do's it Quo. Lesse a moment The twinckling of an eye a glimpse scarce somthing do's it Your Lordship yet will graunt she is my wife Tom. O heauen Iud. After some penance and the Deues of law I must acknowledge that Quo. I scarce like Those Deues of lawe Eas. My Lord altho the law too gently lot his wife The wealth he left behind he cannot chalenge Quo. How Eas. Behold his hand against it Quo. He do's deuize all meanes to make mee mad that I may no more lie with my wife in perfect memorie I know 't but yet the landes will maintaine me in my wits the lande will doe so much for mee Iudg. In witnesse whereof I haue set to mine owne hand Ephestian Quomodo T is firme enough your owne sir Quo. A iest my Lord I did I knew not what Iud. It should seeme so deceit is her owne foe Craftily gets and childishly le ts goe But yet the lands are his Quo. I warrant yee Eas. No my good Lord the lands know the right heire I am their master once more Quo. Haue you the lands Eas. Yes truly I praise heauen Quo. Is this good dealing are there such consciences abroad how which way could he come by 'em Sho. My Lord I le quickly resolue you that it comes to me This cousner whom too long I call'd my patrone To my thought dying and the foole his sonne Possest of all which my braine partly sweat for I held it my best vertue by a plot To get from him what for him was ill got Quo. O beastly Shortyard Sho. When no sooner mine But I was glad more quickly to resigne Iud. Craft once discouer'd shewes her abiect line Quo. He hits me euery where for craft once knowne Do's teach fooles wit leaues the deceiuer none My deedes haue cleft me cleft me Enter Officers with Lethe and the Harlot 1. Off. Roome there Quo. A little yet to raise my spirit Here maister Lethe comes to wed my Daughter That 's all the ioy is left me ha who 's this Iudge What crimes haue those brought foorth Gent. The shame of lust Most viciously on this his wedding morning This man was ceazde in shame with that bolde Strumpet Iudge Why t is she he meanes to marrye Leth. No in truth Iudge In truth you doe Who for his wife his Harlot doth preferre Good reason t is that he should marrie her Curt. I craue it on my knees such was his vowe at first Pand. I le say so too And worke out mine owne safetie Such was his vowe at first indeede my Lord How ere his moode has chang'd him Leth. O vilde slaue Curt. He sayes it true my Lord Iud. Rest content He shall both marrie and taste punishment Leth. Oh intollerable I beseech your good Lordship if I must haue an outward punishment let me not marrie an inward whose lastes will nere out but growe worse and worse I haue a wife staies for me this morning with seauen hundred pound in her pursse let me be speedily whipt and be gone I beseech your Lordship Gent. Hee speakes no truth my Lord behold the Virgin Wife to a well esteemed Gentleman Loathing the Sin he followes Leth. I was betrayed yes faith Rer. His owne Mother my Lord Which hee confest through ignorance and disdaine His name so chang'd to abuse the world and her Let. Marry a Harlot why not t is an honest mans fortune I pray did not one of my Coūtriemen marrye my Sister why well then if none should be marryed but those that are honest where should a man seeke a wife after Christmas I pitty that Gentleman that has nine Daughters to bestowe and seauen of e'm Seeded already they wil be good stuffe by that time I doe beseech your Lordship to remoue the punishment I am content to marrie her Iudge There 's no remouing of your punishment Leth. O good my Lord Iudge Vnlesse one heere assembled Whom you haue most vnnaturally abusde beget your pardon Leth. Who should that be Or who would doote that has beene so abusde A troublesome pennance sir Quo. Knaue in your face leaue your mocking Andrew marrie your Qeane and be quiet Leth. Maister Easie Eas. I 'me sorrie you take such a bad course sir Leth. Maister Quomodo Toma. Enquire my right name agen next time now goe your waies like an Asse as you came Leth. Masse I forget my mother all this while I le make her doo 't at first pray mother your blessing for once Moth. Calst me Mother out I defie thee slaue Leth. Call me slaue as much as you will but doe not shame me now let the world knowe you are my Mother Moth. Let me not haue this Villaine put vpon me I beseech your Lordship Iudg. Hee 's iustly curst she loathes to know him now Whome he before did as much loath to knowe Wilt thou beleeue me woman Moth. That 's soone done Iudge Then knowe him for a Villaine t is thy Sonne Moth. Art thou Andrew my wicked Sonne Andrew Leth. You would not beleeue me Mother Moth. How art thou chang'd Is this sute fit for thee a Tooth-drawers Sonne this countrie has ee'ne spoilde thee since thou camst heather thy manners better then thy cloathes but now whole cloathes and ragged manners it may well be saide that truth goes naked for when thou hadst scarce a shirt thou hadst more truth about thee Iudg. Thou art thine owne affliction Quomodo Shortyard we banish t is our pleasure Sho. Hence foorth no woman shall complaine for measure Iudg. And that all Error from our workes may stand We bannish Falslight euermore the land FINIS
there goes a Gull that keepes his money I would not haue such a report goe on you for the Worlde as long as you are in my companie Why man fortune alters in a Minute I ha knowne those haue recouered so much in an houre their purses were neuer sicke after Rer. Oh worse then consumption of the Liuer consumption of the patrimonie Sho. How now marke their humours master Easie Rer. Forgiue me my posteritie yet vngotten Sho. That 's a penitent Maudlen Dicer Rer. Few knowe the sweets that the plaine life allowes Vilde sonne that surfets of his fathers browes Sho. Laugh at him master Easie Eas. Ha ha ha Sal. I le bee damn'd and these bee not the bones of some queane that couzened me in her life and now consumes mee after her death Sho. That 's the true-wicked-blasphemous and soul-shuddering Dicer that will curse you all seruice time attribute his ill lucke alwayes to one Drab or other Leth. Dick Hell-gill the hapie Newes Hel. I haue her for you sir Leth. Peace what is she Helg. Yong beautifull and plump a delicate peece of sin Leth. Of what parentage Helg. Oh a Gentlewoman of a great house Leh. Fie fie Helg. Shee newly came out of a Barne yet too good for a Tooth-drawers sonne Leth. Is she wife or maide Helg. That which is dantiest Maide Leth. I de rather shee 'd beene a wife Helg. A wife sir why Leth. Oh Adulterie is a great deale sweeter in my minde Helg. Diseases gnaw thy bones I thinke she has deserud to be a wife sir Leth. That will moue well Helg. Her firstlinge shall be mine Swine looke but for the huskes the meate be thine Sho: How now Boy Boy Maister Quomodo takes your worships greeting exceeding kindely and in his commendations returnes this answere that your worship shall not be so apt to receiue it as hee willing to lend it Sho. Why we thanke him yfaith Eas. Troth and you ha reason to thanke him sir t' was a verie friendly answere Sh. Push a Gentleman that keeps his daies euen here i th City as I my selfe watch to doe shall haue many of those answeres in a tweluemonth maister Easie Eas. I promise you sir I admire your carriage and begin to hold a mor reu'rend respect of you Sho. Not so I beseech you I giue my friends leaue to bee inward with me will you walke Gentlemen Leth. Wee 're for you Present her with this Iewell my first token Enter a Drawer Draw There are certaine Country-men without enquiring for maister Rerage and maister Salewood Rer. Tennants Salew. Thou reuiu'st vs Rascall Rer. When 's our next meeting Gentlemen Shor. To morrow night This Gentleman by me inuites you all Do you not Maister Easie Easie Freely sir Salew. We doe imbrace your loue a pure fresh Gull Short Thus make you men at parting duetifull And rest beholding to you t is the slight To be remembred when you 'r out of sight Easi. A prettie vertue Exeunt Enter the Countrie-Wenches Father that was entisc'd for Leth Father Where shall I seeke her now oh if she knew The Dangers that attend on womens liues She would rather lodge vnder a poore thatcht Roofe Then vnder carued seelings she was my ioy And all content that I receiu'd from life My deere and onely Daughter What saies the Note she left let mee agen With stayeder greefe peruse it Father wonder not at my so suddaine departure without your leaue or knowledge thus vnder pardon I excuse it had you had knowledge of it I know you would haue sought to restraine it and hinder me from what I haue long desirde being now happilye preferr'd to a Gentlemans seruice in London about Holborne if you please to send you may heare well of me As false as she is disobedient Iu'e made larger inquirie left no place Where Gentrie keepes vnsought yet cannot heare Which driues me moste into a shamefull feare Woe worth th' infected cause that makes me visit This man-deuouring Cittie where I spent My vnshapen youth to be my ages cursse And surfetted away my name and state In swinish Riots that now being sober I doe awake a Begger I may hate her Whose youth voides wine his age is curst with water Oh heauens I know the price of ill too well What the confusions are in whome they dwell And how soone Maides are to their Ruins won One minute and aeternally vndone So in mine may it may it not be thus Though she be poore her honours preceous May be my present forme and her fond feare May chace her from me if her eye should get me And therefore as my loue and wants aduise I le serue vntill I finde her in disguise Such is my care to fright her from base euils I leaue calme state to liue amongst you deuils Exit Lethes Mother enters with Quomodoes wife with the Letter Toma. Were these fit wordes thinke you to be sent to anye Cittizens wife to enioy the Daughter and loue the mother too for a neede I would foulye scorne that man that should loue me onely for a neede I tell you and heere the Knaue writes agen that by the mariage of my Daughter a has the better meanes and opportunitie to my selfe hee lies in his Throate like a villaine he has no opportunitie of mee for all that t is for his betters to haue opportunitie of me and that he shall well knowe a base proud knaue a has forgot how he came vp brought two of his countrie men to giue their words to my husband for a sute of greene Karsey a has forgot all this and how does hee appeare to me when his white Sattin suttes on but like a Magot crept out of a Nut-shell a faire bodie and a foule necke those partes that are couered of him lookes indifferent well because we cannot see e'm else for all his clensing pruning and paring hee 's not worthy a Brokers Daughter and so tell him Gri. I will indeede forsooth Toma. And as for my Childe I hope shee le bee ruld in Time though she be folish yet not be carryed away with a cast of Manchets a Bottle of wine or a Custard and so I pray certifie him Grui. He doe your errant effectually Toma. Art thou his Ant or his Gri. Alasse I am a poore drudge of his Toma. Faith and thou wert his Mother he would make thee his drudge I warrant him Gri. Marrie out vppon him sir reuerence of your mistris-ship Tom. Heer 's somewhat for thy paines fare thee well Gri. T is more then he gaue me since I came to him Enter Quomodo and his Daughter Su. Quo. How now what prating haue we heare whispers dumshowes why Tomazin goo too my shop is not altogether so darke as some of my neighbours where a man may be made Cuckold at one ende while hee 's measuring with his yard at tother Toma. Onely commendations sent from Maister Lethe your worshipfull Sonne in law that should be Quo Oh that
you like not he that can make vs rich in custom strong in friends happy in suites bring vs into all the romes a sundaies from the leads to the seller pop vs in with Venison til wee cracke agen send home the rest in an honorable Napkin this man you like not forsooth Su. But I like him father Qu. My blessing goe with thy liking Su. A number of our Cittizens hold our credit by 't to come home drunk and say wee ha beene at Court then how much more credit i' st to be drunke there indeede Quo. Tut thy Mother 's a foole pray what 's Maister Rerage whom you pleade for so Toma. Why first he is a Gentleman Quo. I hee 's often first a Gentleman that 's last a begger Su. My father tels you true what should I do with a gentleman I knowe not which way to lye with him Quo. T is true too thou knowst beside we vndoe Gentlemen dayly Toma. That makes so few of e'm marrie with our Daughters vnles it be one green foote or other next M. Rerage has land liuing tother but his walke i' th street his snatching dyet hee 's able to entertaine you in a faire house of his owne tother in some nooke or corner or place vs behind the cloath like a company of Puppets at his house you shall bee seru'd curiously sit downe eate your meate with leasure there we must be glad to take it standing without either salt cloath or trencher and say we are befriended too Quo. Oh that giues a Citizen a better appetite then his Garden Su. So say I Father me thinkes it does me most good whē I take it standing I know not how all womens mindes are Enter Falslight Quo. Faith I thinke they are al of thy minde for that thing how now Falslight Falsl. I haue descri'd my fellow Short-yard alias Blastfield at hand with the Gentleman Quo. Oh my sweete Short-yard Daughter get you vp to your Virginalls by your leaue Mistris Quomodo Tom. Why I hope I may sit i th shop may I not Quom. That you may and welcome sweete hony-thye but not at this season there 's a Buck to be strucke Toma. Well since i 'me so expresly forbidden I le watch aboue i th gallerie but I le see your knauerie Exit Quom. Be you preparde as I tell you Falsl. You neare feard me Exit Quom. Oh that sweete neate comely proper delicate parcell of land like a fine Gentlewoman i th waste not so great as prettie prettie the Trees in Summer whistling the siluer waters by the Bankes harmoniouslye gliding I should haue beene a Scholler an excellent place for a student fit for my Sonne that lately commenc'd at Cambridge whom now I haue plac'd at Innes of Court Thus wee that sildome get Landes honestly must leaue our heires to inherit our knauerie but whist one turne about my shoppe and meete with e'm Enter Maister Easie with Short-yard alias Blastfield Easi. Is this it sir Short I let me see this is it signe of three Knaues t is it Quom. Doe you heare sir what lacke you Gentlemen see good Kersies or broad cloathes heere I pray come neere Maister Blastfield Short I thought you would know me anon Quom. You 'r exceeding welcome to Towne sir your worship must pardon me t is alwaies mistie weather in our shops heere we are a Nation the Sunne here shines vpon Came this Gentleman with you Short O salute him fairely hee 's a kinde Gentleman a verie in ward of mine Quo. Then I crye you mercy sir y' are especially welcome Easi. I returne you thankes sir Quo. But how shall I doe for you now Maister Blastfield Short Why what 's the matter Quo. It is my greatest affliction at this instant I am not able to furnish you Short How maister Quomodo pray say not so sl'ud you vndoe me then Quo. Vpon my Religion Maister Blastfield bonds lye forfeete in my hands I expect the receite of a thousand euerie houre and cannot yet set eye of a penny Short That 's strange me thinkes Quo. T is mine owne pittie that plots against me Maister Blastfield they knowe I haue no conscience to take the for feture and that makes em so bould with my mercie Easi. I am sorry for this Quo. Neuer the lesse if I might intreate your delay but the age of three daies to expresse my sorrow now I would double the summe and supply you with foure or fiue hundred Short Let me see three daies Quo. I good sir and it may be possible Easi. Doe you heare Maister Blastfield Short Ha Easi. You knowe i 'ue alreadie enuited all the Gallants to sup with me to night Short That 's true yfaith Easi. T will be my euerlasting shame if I haue no monye to maintaine my bountie Short I nere thought vpon that I look't still when that should come from him wee haue strickly examined our expences it must not be three daies Maister Quomodo Quo. No then i 'me afraide t will be my griefe sir Easi. Maister Blastfield I le tell you what you may doe now Sho. What good sweete bedfellow Eas. Send to Master Goome or Master Profit the Mercer and Goldsmith Sho. Masse that was well remembred of thee I perceyue the Trout will bee a little troublesome ere hee bee catcht Boy Boy Here sir Sho. Runne to Master Goome or Master Profite and carrie my present occasion of money to em Boy I runne sir Quo. Me thinks Maister Blastfield you might easily attaine to the satisfaction of 3. dayes heer 's a Gentleman your friend I dare say will see you sufficiently possest till then Eas. Not I sir by no meanes master Blastfield knowes I 'me further in want then himselfe my hope rests all vpon him it stands vpon the losse of my credit to Night if I walke without money Sho. Why maister Quomodo what a fruitlesse Motion haue you put forth you might well assure your selfe this gentleman had it not if I wanted it why our purses are brothers we desire but equall fortunes in a word w' are man and wife they can but lie together and so doe we Eas. As nere as can be yfaith Sho. And to say truth t is more for the continuing of this Gentlemans credit in Towne then any incitement from mine owne want only that I couet to be so immediatly furnishd you shall heare him confesse as much himselfe Eas. T is most certaine master Quomodo Enter Boy Sho. Oh here comes the Boy now How now Boy what sayes maister Goome or master Profit Boy Sir thei 'r both walke foorth this frostie morning to Brainford to see a Nurse-childe Sho. A Bastard be it spite and shame Eas. Nay neuer vex your selfe sweet master Blastfield Sho. Bewitcht I thinke Quo. Doe you heare sir you can perswade with him Eas. A little sir Quo. Rather then he should be altogither destitute or be too much a vexation to himselfe he shall take vp a commoditie of cloath of me tell him Eas.
him a hundred pound tother day to cōfort his heart ha's likewise sent him this Letter and this Ring which has that vertue to recouer him agen for euer say name no body Winifride Win. Not so much as you forsooth Toma. Good Girle thou shalt haue a mourning Gowne at the buryall of mine honestie Win. And I le effect your will a my Fedelitie Exit Toma. I doe account my selfe the happyest Widdowe that euer counterfetted weeping in that I haue the leasure now both to doe that Gentleman good and doe my selfe a pleasure but I must seeme like a hanging Moone a little waterish a while Enter Rerage Curtezans Father following Rer. I entertaine both thee and thy Deuice T will put e'm both to shame Fath. That is my hope sir Especially that strumpet Rer. Saue you sweete widdowe I suffer for your heauinesse Toma. O Maister Rerage I haue lost the dearest husband that euer woman did inioy Rerg. You must haue patience yet Toma. Oh talke not to mee of patience and you loue me good Maister Rerage Rer. Yet if all tongues goe right hee did not vse you so wel as a man mought Toma. Nay that 's true indeed Maister Rerage he nere vsd me so well as a woman might haue beene vsde that 's certain in troth ta's beene our greatest falling out sir and though it be the part of a widdowe to show her selfe a woman for her Husbands death yet when I remember al his vnkindnesse I cannot weepe a stroake yfaith Maister Rerage and therefore wisely did a great widdow in this land comfort vp another goe too Lady quoth she leaue blubbering thou thinkest vpon thy husbands good parts when thou sheddest teares doe but remember how often hee ha's laine from thee and how many naughtie slipperie turnes he has done thee thou wilt nere weepe for him I warrant thee you would not thinke how that counsell ha's wrought with me Maister Rerage I could not dispend another teare now and you would giue me nere so much Rer. Why I count you the wiser Widdowe it showes you haue wisdome when you can checke your passion for mine owne part I haue no sence to sorrowe for his death whose life was the onely Rub to my affection Toma. Troth and so it was to mine but take courage now your'e a Landed Gentleman my Daughter is seauen hundred pound strong to ioyne with you Rer. But Lethe lyes 'i th way Tomaz. Let him lye still You shall treade ore him or I le faile in will Rer. Sweete widdowe Exeunt Enter Quomodo like a Beadle Quo. What a beloude man did I liue my Seruants gall their fingers with ringing my wiues cheeks smart with weeping stand in euerie corner you may take water in my house but am not I a wise foole now what if my wife should take my death so to heart that shee should sicken vppon 't nay swone nay dye when did I heare of a woman doe so let mee see Now I remember me I thinke t was before my Time yes I haue heard of those wiues that haue wept and sobd and swound marry I neuer heard but they recouered agen that 's a cōfort la that 's a comfort I hope so will mine peace t is nere vppon the time I see here comes the worshipful liuerie I haue the Hospital Boyes I perceiue little Tomazin will bestow cost of me I le listen to the common censure now how the world tongues me when my eare lyes lowe Enter the Liuerie 1. Liue. Who Quomodo meerely enricht by shifts And cousnages beleeue it Quo. I see the world is verye loath to praise me T is Rawlye friendes with me I cannot blame it For what I haue done has beene to vexe and shame it Heere comes my Sonne the hope the landed heyre On t whose rare thrift will say mens tongues you lye I le keepe by lawe what was got craftily Me thinkes I heare him say so He does salute the liuerie with good grace And solemne Gesture Bead. oh my yong Worshipful M. you haue parted from a deere Father a wise and proui-dent father Sim. Art thou growne an Asse now Bead. Such an honest Father Sim. Prethee Beadle leaue thy lying I am scarce able to endure thee yfaith what honesty didst thou ere know by my Father speake rule your tongue Beadle least I make you proue it and then I knowe what will become of you t is the scuruy scuruyest thing i' th earth to belye the dead so and hee 's a beastly Sonne and heyre that wil stand by and heare his father belyed to his face hee will nere prosper I warrant him Troth if I be not asham'd to goe to Church with him I would I might be hang'd I feare such filthye Tales goe on him oh if I had knowne hee had beene such a lewde fellow in his life hee should nere haue kept me company Quo. Oh o o Sim. But I am glad hee 's gone tho t were long first Shortyard and I will reuell it yfaith I haue made him my Rentgatherer alreadie Quo. Hee shall bee speedilye disinherited hee gettes not a foote not the Crowne of a Mole-hill I le sooner make a courtyer my heyre for teaching my wife trickes then thee my moste neglectfull Sonne Oh now the coarse I shall obserue yet farder A counterfet Coarse brought in Tomazin and al the mourners equally counterfeit Quo. O my moste modest vertuous and remembring wife she shall haue all when I dye she shall haue all Enter Easie Tom. Maister Easie t is oh what shift shall I make now oh Falls downe in a fayned swound Quo. Sweete wife she sownes I le let her alone I le haue no mercie at this time I le not see her I le follow the coarse Exit Eas: The Deuill grinde thy Bones thou cousning Rascal Moth. Giue her a little more ayre tilt vp her head comfort thy selfe good widdowe doe not fall like a Beast for a husband there 's more then wee can well tell where to put e'm good soule Tom. Oh I shall be well anon Moth. Fye you haue no patience yfaith I haue buried foure Husbands and neuer offered e'm such abuse Tom. Couzen how doe you Eas. Sorry to see you ill Couze Toma. The worst is past I hope Pointing after the Coffin Eas. I hope so to Toma. Lend me your hand sweet Couze I haue troubled you Moth. No trouble indeed forsooth Good Couzen haue a care of her comfort her vp as much as you can and all little ynough I warrant yee Exeunt Tomaz. My moste sweete loue Eas. My life is not so deere Toma. I haue alwaies pittyed you Eas. Y 'aue showne it heere And giuen the desperate hope Toma. Delay not now y 'aue vnderstood my loue I haue a priest readye this is the fittest season no eye offends vs Let this kisse Restore thee to more wealth me to more blisse Eas. The Angels haue prouided for me Finis Actus Quartus Incipit Quintus et Vltimus Enter Shortyard