protestations and it is generous to cherish their health to attend them in their sickness to comply with their harmless humours to entertain their discourses to accompany their persons to yield to their lawfull desires and to commend their good graces and that man which is a Husband and doth not do thus is worthy to be shamed and not to be kept company with which is not called an Uxorious Husband for said I an Uxorious Husband I understand to be a honest carefull and wise Husband Lady Ignorance And what said they after you said this Sir P. Studious They laugh'd and said my flowery Rhetorick was strewed upon a dirty ground I answered it was not dirty where I lived for my wife was beautifull chaste and cleanly and I wished every man the like and after they perceived that neither the railing nor laughing at good Husbands could not temper me for their palats they began to play and sport with one another and sung wanton songs and when all their baits failed they quarreled with me and said I was uncivil and that I did not entertain them well and that I was not good Company having not a conversable wit nor a gentle behaviour and that I was not a gallant Cavalier and a world of those reproches and idle discourses as it would tire me to repeat it and you to hear it Lady Ignorance Pray resolve me one question more what was it you said to the Lady Amorous when she threatned to tell me Sir P. Studious I only said nature was unkind to our Sex in making the beautifull females cruel Lady Ignorance Was that all I thought you had pleaded as a courtly Sutor for loves favours Sir P. Studious No indeed but let me tell you and so inform you wife that those humour'd women take as great a pleasure to make wives jealouse of their Husbands and Husbands jealouse of their wives and to seperate their affections and to make a disorder in their Families as to plot and design to intice men to court them Cuckold their Husband also let me tell you that much company and continual resort brings great inconveniences for its apt to corrupt the mind and make the thoughts wild the behaviour bold the words vain the discourse either flattering rude or tedious their actions extravagant their persons cheap being commonly occompanyed or their company common Besides much variety of Company creates amorous luxurie vanity prodigality jealousie envie malice slander envie treachery quarrels revenge and many other evils as laying plots to insnare the Honourable to accuse the Innocent to deceive the Honest to corrupt the Chaste to deboyst the Temperate to pick the purse of the Rich to inslave the poor to pull down lawfull Authority and to break just Laws but when a man lives to himself within his own Familie and without recourse after a solitary manner he lives free without controul not troubled with company but entertains himself with himself which makes the soul wise the mind sober the thoughts industrious the understanding learned the heart honest the senses quiet the appetites temperate the body healthfull the actions just and prudent the behaviour civil and sober He governs orderly eats peaceably sleeps quietly lives contentedly and most commonly plentifully and pleasantly ruling and governing his little Family to his own humour wherein he commands with love and is obeyed with duty and who that is wise and is not mad would quit this heavenly life to live in hellish Societies and what can an honest Husband and wife desire more than love peace and plenty and when they have this and is not content 't is a sign they stand upon a Quagmire or rotten Foundation that will never hold or indure that is they are neither grounded on honesty nor supported with honour Lady Ignorance Well Husband I will not interupt your studies any longer but as you study Phylosophie Wisdom and Invention so I will study obedience discretion and Houswifery Omnes Exeunt ACT III Scene 15. Enter the General and Affectionata LOrd Singularity Affectionata Were you never bred to the Discipline of War Affectionata Never my Lord but what I have been since I came to you Lord Singularity Why thou didst speak at the Council of War as if thou hadst been an old experienced souldier having had the practice of fourty years which did so astonish the grave Senators and old Souldiers that they grew dumb and for a while did only gaze on thee Affectionata Indeed my Lord my young years and your grave Counsel did not suit together Lord Singularity But let me tell thee my boy thy rational and wise speeches and that grave counsels was not mis-match'd Affectionata Pray Heaven I may prove so as your favours and your love may not be thought misplaced Lord Singularity My Love thinks thee worthy of more than I can give thee had I more power than Caesar had Exeunt Scene 16. Enter some Commanders 1. COmmander I hear that the Duke of Venice is so taken with our Generals adopted Son as he will adopt him his Son 2. Commander Hay-day I have heard that a Father hath had many Sons but never that one Son hath had so many Fathers but contrary many Sons wants fathering 3. Commander 'T is true some Sons hath the misfortune not to be owned but let me tell you Lieutenant there be few children that hath not many such Fathers as one begets a childe a second owns the childe a third keeps the childe which inherits as the right Heir and if a fourth will adopt the childe a fift or more may do the like if they please 1. Commander So amongst all his Fathers the right Father is lost 3. Commander Faith the right Father of any childe is seldome known by reason that women takes as much delight in deceiving the World and dissembling with particular men as in the cuckolding their Husbands 2. Commander The truth is every several Lover cuckolds one another 1. Commander Perchance that is the reason that women strives to have so many Lovers for women takes pleasure to make Cuckolds 3. Commander And Cuckolds to own children Exeunt Scene 17. Enter Affectionata then enters to him two or three Venetian Gentlemen as Embassadors from the Duke of Venice 1. GEntleman Noble Sir the great Duke of Venice hath sent us to let you know he hath adopted you his Son and desires your company Affectionata Pray return the great Duke thanks and tell him those favours are too great for such a one as I but if he could and would adopt me as Augustus Caesar did Tiberius and make me master of the whole World by Heaven I would refuse it and rather chose to live in a poor Cottage with my most Noble Lord 2. Gentleman But you must not deny him Besides he will have you Affectionata I will dye first and rather chose to bury my self in my own tears than build a Throne with ingratitude 1. Gentleman But it is ungratefull to deny the Duke
will send you amongst the effeminate Sex where you may learn to sport with Ladies as well as fight with Turks Affectionata speaks softly to her self pray Jove they do not search me Exeunt Scene 26. Enter the Lady Wagtail and the Lady Amorous LAdy Wagtail I can tell you news Lady Amorous What news Lady Wagtail Sir Serious Dumb can speak again Lady Amorous I am sorrow for that for now he may tell tales out of School Lady Wagtail If he do we will whip him with the rods of tongues which is more sharp than the rods of wyer Lady Amorous We may whip him with words but we our selves shall feel the smart of reproch Lady Wagtail How simply you talk as if reproch could hurt a woman when reproch is born with us and dyes with us Lady Amorous If reproch have no power of our Sex why are all women so carefull to cover their faults and so fearfull to have their crimes divulged Lady Wagtail Out of two reasons first because those of the masculine Sex which have power as Fathers Uncles Brothers and Husbands would cut their throats if they received any disgrace by them for disgrace belongs more to men than women The other reason is that naturally women loves secrets yet there is nothing they can keep secret but their own particular faults neither do they think pleasure sweet but what is stollen Lady Amorous By your favour women cannot keep their own faults secret Lady Wagtail O yes those faults that may ruine them if divulged but they cannot keep a secret that is delivered to their trust for naturally women are unfit for trust or council Lady Amorous But we are fit for faction Lady Wagtail The World would be but a dull World if it were not for industrious factions Lady Amorous The truth is that if it were not for faction the World would lye in the cradle of Peace and be rock'd into a quiet sleep of security Lady Wagtail Prithee talk not of quiet and peace and rest for I hate them as bad as death Lady Amorous Indeed they resemble death for in death there is no wars nor noise Lady Wagtail Wherefore it is natural for life neither to have rest nor peace being cantrary to death Exeunt ACT IV. Enter the Lord Singularity and Affectionata AFfectionata My Lord I hear the King hath invited you to attend him in his progress this Summer Lord Singularity Yes but I have made my excuse and have got leave to stay at home for I will tell thee truly that I had rather march ten miles with an Artillery than travel one with a Court and I had rather fight a battel than be bound to ceremony or flattery which must be practised if one live at Court Besides I have been bred to lead an Armie and not to follow a Court And the custom of the one have made me unacquainted and so unfit for the other for though I may truly say I am a good Souldier yet I will confess ingenuously to thee I am a very ill Courtier Affectionata I think they are the most happiest that are least acquainted with a great Monarchs Court Lord Singularity I will tell thee a discourse upon this theam in the time of Henry the eighth of England there were many Courtiers of all degrees about him and the theam of their discourse was who was the happiest man in England So all the Nobles and inferiour Courtiers agreed unanimously it was his Majesty and it could be no man else and they all said that their judgements was so clear in that point that it could not admit of a contradiction or dispute Said Henry the eighth by the body of our Lord you are all mistaken then said one of the Courtiers I beseech your Majesty to tell us who is the happiest man By the Lord said the King that Gentleman that lives to his profit and dare moderately spend for his pleasure and that neither knows me nor I know him he is the happiest man in the Kingdom and I am of Henry the eights opinion but howsoever it were better to be such a one that goeth with the bagge and baggage of an Armie than one of the tail of a Court Affectionata But your Lordship would not refuse to be as the chief as to be a Favourite for a Favourite is more sought feared and flattered than the King himself Lord Singularity I think I should not refuse to be a Favourite by reason a Favourite is a General to command Martial and Conduct in all affairs both at home and abroad in peace and in war and all by the power and authority of the commission of Favourites Affectionata Which Commission hath a greater and larger extent than any other Commission Lord Singularity You say right for it extends as far as the Kings power Exeunt Scene 27. Enter the Lady Bashfull and Reformer her woman REformer Madam shall your wedding be private or publick Lady Bashfull Private Reformer I wonder you will have it private Lady Bashfull Why do you wonder Reformer Because the wedding-day is the only triumphant day of a young maids life Lady Bashfull Do you call that a triumphant day that inslaves a woman all her life after no I will make no triumph on that day Reformer Why you had better have one day than none Lady Bashfull If my whole life were triumphant it would be but as one day when it was past or rather as no day nor time for what is past is as if it never were and for one day I will never put my self to that ceremonious trouble which belongs to feasting revelling dressing and the like Reformer I perceive your Ladyship desires to be undrest upon the Wedding-day Lady Bashfull No that I do not but as I will not be carelesly undrest so I will not be drest for a Pageant show Exeunt Scene 28. Enter the Lord Singularity and AFfectionata AFfectionata I think there is no Family more methodically ordered prudently governed than your Lordships Lord Singularity It were a disgrace to my profession if I should not well know how to command for a good Commander in the field can tell how to be a good Manager in his private Family although a prudent Master of a Family knows not how to be a skilfull Commander in the field but a prudent Master must have a trusty Steward so a knowing General must have a carefull and skilfull Lieutenant-General or else he will be very much troubled also both Master and General must have other Officers or else they will not find their Accounts or Conquests as he hopes or expects For neither General nor Master can order every particular command nor rectifie every particular errour himself for a Generals Office is only to direct order and command the chief Officers and not the common Souldiers So the Master of a Family is only to direct order and command his Steward he the rest of the Officers and the common servants every one must order those that belongs
very thought doth almost make me mad especially when I remember the hopes I had to advance my Son by marriage but you shall go back to carry Letters that shall declare my anger and my command for my Sons repair unto me since I cannot return home as yet I le dispatch you strait Exeunt Scene 5. Enter the two Maids Joan and Kate KAte It is a very pleasing sight to see the new marryed Children I may say for so are they yet they behave themselves so gravely and so formally as if they were an Ancoret couple for there is no appearance of Childishness in their behaviour Ioan. But I wonder my Master and Lady will suffer them to bed together Kate My Master did perswade his Nephew to ly by himself but he would not be perswaded Ioan. Truly he is a very fine youth and she a very pretty young Lady I dare say she will make a very handsome woman Kate I believe she will and a virtuous woman and he a handsome and gallant man Exeunt Scene 6. Enter Sir Thomas Gravity and his Lady SIr Thomas Gravity So Wife by your perswasions to this marriage I have lost the love of my only Brother Lady And I am like to lose my only Child through the grief of the departure of her Husband for she looks so pale and is so weak with crying and fasting for she feeds only on grief and her tears quenches her droughth I think she will dy Sir Thomas Gravity It is your own fault for you would never be quiet nor let be at rest untill they were married Lady Would I and my Child had never seen your Nephew Sir Thomas Gravity All the hopes we have is that my Brother will be pacified with time Exeunt Scene 7. Enter the two Maids Joan and Kate KAte I never saw so much affectionate grief as at the parting of the young married couple Ioan. O passionate tears flow naturally from Childrens Eyes Kate When they were to part they did kiss weep and imbrace so close as their tears mixt together Ioan. They will weep as much for joy when they meet again as they do now for grief at parting Kate But absence and time doth waste Love Ioan. Absence doth rather put out the flame of Love than waste the Lamp but their Love was lighted so soon that if it be not put out it will last a long time Kate Nay faith the sooner it is lighted the sooner it will burn out but to make Love last long is sometimes to put it out and then to re-inkindle it for a continual fire doth waste the fuell and a Candle will soon burn out although it be lighted but at one end but absence is an extinguisher which saves it and return is relighting it Ioan. Are Lovers like Candles Kate Yes faith for as there are Candles of all sorts and sizes so there are Lovers of all degrees some are like Torch-light that flame high and bright but soon waste out others like watch Candles that give but a dim dull light but will last a long time and some that give but a little light and are strait burnt out Ioan. But what is á snast in a Candle which is like a blazing Star with a stream or tail that mels a Candle and makes it run out Kate Faith a snast is like a Mistriss as a Courtizan or servant that makes waste of Matrimonial Love it makes Matrimonial Love fall into a snuf but prudent discretion and chast kisses are as snuffers to clip of those snasts before they get power or are in a blaze or like a Bodkin that picks or puls them out with the point of a sharp tongue Ioan. By your similizing you make love Greace Kate You say right for there is nothing so apt to flame and melt as Greace and Love it is there natural properties to waste in flame Ioan. Well but let us not waste our time in idle talk but go about our imployments Kate Why talking is the greatest or most imployment women use but indeed love is idle Exeunt ACT II. Scene 8. Enter two Men 1 MAn My Lord is extremely troubled for the marriage of his Son 2 Man He is so and so very angry with his Son as he would not give him his blessing when he came although he hath not seen him in seven years for so long hath my Lord been Embassadour here 1 Man Sometimes Embassadours are many years imployed out of there own Country 2 Man They are so but my Lord is sent for home which I am very glad of 1 Man Doth his Son return home with him 2 Man No for he sends him to travel into several Countryes for as many years as my Lord hath been from his Country 1 Man Why doth he command him so long a time to Travel having no more Sons 2 Man To have him Travel out the remembrance of his Wife at least his affections to her 1 Man Why would not my Lord have his Son love his Wife now he is marryed 2 Man No for my Lord saith that the marriage is not a true marriage for the Lady is not of marrigable years and that is not untill the Female is past twelve 1 Man Why so 2 Man I know not but so it is according to our Canon and Common Laws Exeunt Scene 9. Enter Sir Thomas Gravity and his Lady SIr Thomas Gravity I hear my Brother hath sent his Son to Travel for seven years Lady Pray do not let my Daughter know it for it will kill her if she hears it Sir Thomas Gravity I hear also that he will endeavour to break the marriage Lady The Devill break his heart Sir Thomas Gravity Why do you say so Lady Have I not reason to say so when he endeavours to break my Childs heart and so my heart a dishonest man he is to offer to part man and wife Sir Thomas Gravity But if the marriage will not hold good in law they are not lawfull man and wife Lady I perceive you will take your Brothers part against me Exeunt Scene 10. Enter Mistriss Odd-Humour and her Maid Nan NAn Mistriss I hear there is a Suter preparing to come a wooing to you Mistriss Odd-Humour What preparations doth he make Nan Why he hath been with your Father to treat with him concerning your Portion Mistriss Odd-Humour That is not a Suters preparation that is a Merchants Trafficking that is to make a bargain not to woo a Mistriss but the preparations of a Suter are fine Clothes Coaches and great Attendance with rich presents otherwise a woman is not wooed but a Husband bought Nan Or a Wife sold Mistriss Odd-Humour No the woman or her friends are the purchasers for Husbands never give any thing for a VVife but the woman or her friends pay down ready money for a Husband although they sell Land for it Portions portions undo a Family Nan Nan But for all that you had rather undo a Family than want a Husband Mistriss Odd-Humour Self-love
take their leaves of their Wives Madam Jantil and Madam Passionate Madam Jantil young and beautifull Madam Passionate in years Madam Iantil. I cannot chuse but take it unkindly that you will go without me do you mistrust my affection as that I have not as much love for you as the Generals Lady hath for her Husband or do you desire to leave me because you would take a Mistriss along with you one that perchance hath more Beauty than you think me to have with whom you may securely and freely sit in your Tent and gaze upon or one that hath more wit than I whose sweet smooth and flattering words may charm your thoughts and draw your Soul out of your ears to sit upon her Lips or dancing with delight upon her Tongue Seigneur Valeroso Prethee Wife be not jealous I vow to Heaven no other Beauty can attract my eyes but thine nor any sound can please my brain but what thy charming Tongue sends in besides I prise not what thy Body is but how thy Soul 's adorn'd thy virtue would make me think thee fair although thou wert deformed and wittier far than Mercury hadst thou Midas's ears but thou hast all that man can wish of women kind and that is the reason I will leave thee safe at home for I am loth to venture all my wealth and happiness in Fortunes unconstant Bark suffering thy tender youth and Sex to float on the rough waves of chance where dangers like to Northern winds blow high and who can know but that fatal gusts may come and overwhelm thee and drown all my joys wherefore for my sake keep thy self safe at home Madam Iantil. I shall obey you but yet I think it were not well I should be a long time from you and at a great distance Seigneur Valeroso I will promise you if I perceive the War is like to be prolonged and that there be Garrison-Towns so safe as you may securely live in I will send for you placing you so where sometimes I may visit you Madam Iantil. Pray do not forget me so much as to cancell your promise Seigneur Valeroso Forget the sweet I should sooner forget life and if I do whilst I have memory Heaven forget me Madam Iantil. I must ask you a question which is to know why you will take an under command being so nobly Born and bearing a high Title of Honour your self and being Master of a great Estate Seigneur Valeroso To let the World see my Courage is above my Birth Wealth or Pride and that I prefer inward worth before outward Title and I had rather give my life to the Enemy on honourable terms than basely to stay at home in time of general Wars out of an ambitious discontent for valour had rather have dangers to fight with than Offices to command in Seigneur Valeroso and his Lady whispers while the other two Monsieur la Hardy and his Lady speaks Madam Passionate Why should you go to the Wars now you are in years and not so fit for action as those that are young and have their strengths about them besides we have lived a married pair above these thirty years and never parted and shall we now be seperated when we are old She weeps Monsieur la Hardy Alas Wife what would you have me do when I am commanded out I must obey besides I would not have my Country fight a Battel whilst I live and I not make one for all the World for when I cannot fight my Body shall serve to stop a breach wherefore leave your crying Wife and fall to praying for our safe return and here my noble friend is desirous you should stay with his Lady to comfort one another and to divert Melancholy and the longing hours of our return Madam Passionate Farewell I fear I shall never see you again for your absence will soon kill me She cryes Exeunt Scene 8. Enter two Gentlemen 1 GEnt. O you are welcome from the Army what news 2 Gent. VVhy our Army march'd untill they came unto the frontiers of the Kingdome where they found the Army of the Enemy ready to encounter them the Lord General seeing they must of necessity fight a Battel thought best to call a Council of VVar that there might be nothing of ill conduct laid to his chardge but that all might be ordered by a wise and experienced Council whereupon he made an election of Counsellors joyning together three sorts as grave wife and prudent men subtill and politick men and valiant skillfull martiall men that the cold temper of the prudent might allay the hot temper of the valiant and that the politick might be as ingenious to serve them together by subtill devises and to make traps of Stragems to catch in the Enemy and at this Council many debates there were but at last they did conclude a Battel must be fought but first they did decree that all the women should be sent into one of their Garrison Towns some two dayes journey from the Army the reasons were that if they should be overcome by their Enemyes the women might be taken by their Enemyes and made Slaves using or abusing them as they pleased but when the women were sent away they did not shed tears of sorrow but sent such vollies of angry words as wounded many mens hearts but when they were almost at the Town that was to be their aboad the Generals Lady was so extremely incensed against the Counsellers by reason they decreed her departure with the others as she strove to raise up the Spirits of the rest of her Sex to the height of her own but what the issue will be I know not 1 Gent. Have you been with the King 2 Gent. Yes I was sent to give him an account of the Army Exeunt Scene 9. Enter the Lady Victoria and a number of women of all sorts with her she takes her stand upon a heap of green Turfs as being in the Fields before the Garrison Town and then speaks to those women LAdy Victoria Most Heroical Spirits of most chast and loving Wives Mistrisses Sisters Children or Friends I know you came not from your several Houses and homes into this Army meerly to enjoy your Husbands Lovers Parents and Friends in their safe and secure Garrisons or only to share of their troublesome and tedious marches but to venture also in their dangerous and cruell Battels to run their Fortunes and to force Destiny to joyn you to their Periods but the Masculine Sex hath separated us and cast us out of their Companyes either out of their loving care and desire of preserving our lives and liberties lest we might be distroyed in their confusions or taken Prisoners in their loss or else it must be out of jealousy we should Eclipse the fame of their valours with the splendor of our constancy and if it be Love let us never give the preheminence for then we should lose that Prerogative that belongs to the Crown of our Sex
disadvantage my self or children for I have no children as yet and I have neither Power nor Kingdom now VVherefore if I can injoy her upon these tearms as the name of VVife it will be well Gent. But Sir this part of the VVorld allows but of one wife wherefore if you should marry this Lady the Clergy will excommunicate you as an Adulterer and the Lady as an Adulteress out of the Church Duke I had rather be in the Ladies bed than in the Church But I have money although I have lost my Dukedom and that will help me Gentleman But not make your Marriage lawfull Duke I care not for if the marrying and the name of wife will satisfie the Lady I care not whether it be Good or Bad Lawfull or unlawfull VVife or Concubine 't is all one to me for I willl marry a hundred women if they will marry me and let me lye with them Exeunt Scene 8. Enter the Unfortunate Dutchess and her Woman VVOman Your Highness bears afflictions more couragiously than I thought your Highness would have done Unfortunate Dutchess Truly I find I am more happy since I am amongst my Enemies if they may be termed so than I was in my own Country with an unkind Husband for they allow me a Noble and Princely Pension and I live Free Easily and Peaceably which I did not before Woman I hear your Sister is marryed to the Dukes Brother Unf. Dutchess I wish she may be more happy with her Husband than I have been with mine Woman If they have Children and your Highness none they will be Heirs to the Dukedom Unf. Dutchess They will so but there is no Dukedom now to heir 't is made now a Province Woman But times may change Exeunt Scene 9. Enter the Comical Dutchess and her Woman VVOman Now you are an absolute Dutchess you must carry your self in State and live Magnificently like as an Absolute Princess as you are Comical Dutchess Yes but it is a great affliction for the Duke and I to be banished and driven out of our Kingdom Woman Alass Madam great Princes have many times great misfortunes but you must bear your misfortunes with a Princely magnaminity Comical Dutchess But if I have Children alass what shall they do Woman But those that did never injoy the possession cannot repine nor grieve for the loss Comical Dutchess You say true Exeunt Scene 10. Enter the Creating Princess and her Woman WOman Pray Madam do not marry so meanly for you cannot intitle him a Prince Creating Princess Well well say what you will I will make him a Prince for why may not I as well make my Husband lawfully a Prince as well as the Duke of Inconstancy makes the Lady Beauty a Dutchess and yet hath another Wife Woman Introth it will be just like a poor Begger Woman in Engl. being mad she said she was Queen Elizabeth of Engl. and all the Boys Girls and Common people would run after her and call her Queen Elizabeth in sport and jest the like was a poor mad Begger Man in France which said he was King Henry the 4th. of France but the only difference will be that you and the Comical Dutchess have means and wealth enough to live in Principy and they had none but were so poor they were forced to beg so could not Act their parts Creating Princess You are a bold rude wench therefore get you out of my service Woman Truly I would not stay in it if I might for I should be ashamed Exeunt Scene 11. Enter the Unfortunate Dutchess and her Woman WOman Madam doth your Highness here of the Apocriphal Dutchess Unfortunate Dutchess What Apocriphal Dutchess Woman Why the Duke hath married another Lady Unfortunate Dutchess That he cannot untill I dye 't is true a Mistriss may take the name of a VVife but cannot possess the right of a VVife Woman She will be as a Dutchess in a Play she will only act the part of greatness Unfortunate Dutchess Indeed most Stage-Players are Curtizans Woman And most Curtizans are good Actors Unfortunate Dutchess I make no question but she will now have enough Spectators Woman But I hope they will hiss her from off the Stage Exeunt Scene 12. Enter the Creating Princess and her Husband CReating Princess Have I married you who was a mean fellow and have not I made you a Prince and you to deny to pay my Debts Husband But I thought you would have rather inricht me than have made me poorer than I was Creating Princess Have I not inriched you with Titles do not all my Servants call you Prince and do not all the Trades-men where we buy all our Commodities when they come to our Palace do the same call you Prince and doe you reverence Husband Yes for hopes of gain Creating Princess I am sure you will gain little reputation or respect if you carry your self so sneakingly as you do whereas you should carry your self like a Prince bravely Husband Put when all our money is gone we shall be but poor Princes I had better have keep to my Trade than to have been a Prince where if I had I should have been rich now I shall be a Beggar Creating Princess You are so mean a fellow as you cannot be sensible of the honour and dignity I have bestowed upon you Exeunt Scene 13. Enter the Comical Dutchess big with Child she sits under her Canopy in a Chair of state her Attendants by her wait on her 1 ATtendant All the great Ladies are so envious at your Highness as there will none of them come neer you Comical Dutchess I like the Company of Bourgers Wives better for they are my Slaves 2 Attendant Yes Madam but your Highness is forced I think to present them with some presents now and then for the World is so wicked that they will not give true honour it 's due unless they are bribed 3 Attendant You say true but men will give Ladies their due right 4 Attendant Yes men are more generous and bountifull to Ladies but yet they must be bribed with hopes of obtaining some favours otherwayes I fear me they would be as reserved and retired from your Highnesses Court as the great Ladies are Comical Dutchess I wonder they should I being an absolute Princess 2 Attendant Yes but since your Titles Rights and Marriage is renounced against they are not so civil dutifull and obedient as they were not considering as they ought to do that right cannot be renounced against 3. Attendant But her Highness doth shew them their error and that she shews them it cannot be taken from her for she keeps the same State she did and is as Merry Gay and Frollick to let the World see she understands her own Greatness best 1. Attendant But yet there are but few of any Nation but the inferior sort that come to her Highness Court unless it be the Red Oker Knights and Ladies and if it were not for them this Court would
say he was the honour of the Age the glory of our Nation and a pattern for all mankind to take a sample from and that his person was answerable to his merrits for he said he was a very handsome man of a Masculine presence a Courtly garbe and affable and courteous behaviour and that his wit was answerable to his merits person and behaviour as that he had a quick wit a solid judgment a ready tongue and a smooth speech Mrs. Acquaintance And did your Father proffer you to be his wife Lady Orphant Yes and I remember my father sighing said he should have died in peace and his soul would have rested in quiet if he had been pleased to have accepted of me Mrs. Acquaintance When did your Father proffer you Lady Orphant When I was but a Child Mrs. Acquaintance He is not married and therefore he may chance to accept of you now if you were profer'd Lady Orphant That were but to be refused again for I heare he is resolved never to marry and it will be a greater disgrace to be refused now I am grown to womans Estate than when I was but a Child besides my Father is dead and my marring can give him no content in the grave unless his soul could view the world and the severall actions therein Mrs. Acquaintance So is his Father dead Lady Orphant Yes and I here that is the cause he cares not to return into his native Country Mrs. Acquaintance I have a friend that hath his picture Lady Orphant Is it a he or a she friend Lady Acquaintance A she friend Lady Orphant Pray be so much my friend as to get your friends consent to shew me the Picture Mrs. Acquaintance Perchance I may get it to view it my self but I shall never perswade her to lend it you jealousy will forbid her Lady Orphant She hath no cause to fear me for I am not one to make an Amorous Mrs. and I have heard he will never marry Mrs. Acquaintance That is all one woman hath hopes as much as feares or doubts what ever men doth vow for or against Lady Orphant Pray send to her to lend it you and then you may shew it me Mrs. Acquaintance I will try if she will trust me with it Exit Lady Orphant Solus O Heaven grant that the praise my Father gave this Lord whilst in the world he lived prove not as curses to me his Child so grieve his soul with my unhappy life Exit Scene 4. Enter the Lady Bashfull and Mrs. Reformer her woman she being in yeares MIstriss Reformer Madam now you are become a Mrs. of a Family you must learn to entertain visitants and not be so bashfull as you were wont to be insomuch as you had not confidence to look a stranger in the face were they never so mean persons Lady Bashfull Alas Reformer it is neither their birth breeding wealth or title that puts me out of Countenance for a poor Cobler will put me as much out of Countenance as a Prince or a poor Semestress as much as a great Lady Mrs. Reformer What is it then Lady Bashfull Why there are unacustomated faces and unacquainted humours Mrs. Reformer By this reason you may be as much out of countenance as an unacustomed Dogg or Cat that you never saw before or any other beast Lady Bashfull O no for mankind is worse natured than boasts and beasts better natured than men besides beasts lookes not with censuring eyes nor heares or listens with inquisitive cares nor speakes with detracting tongues nor gives false judgment or spitefull censures or slandering reproaches nor jeeres nor laughs at innocent or harmless Errours nor makes every little mistake a crime Enter the Lady Bashfulls Page Page Madam there is a Coachfull of gallants allighted at the gate Lady Bashfull For heavens sake say I have no desire to be seen Reformer No say my Lady is full of grief and is not fit to receive visits Enter the Ladyes and Gentlemen Whereat the Lady Bashfull stands trembling and shaking and her eyes being cast to the ground and her face as pale as death They speak to Reformer Where is the Lady Bashfull pray Gentlewoman tell her we are come to kiss her hands Reformer offers to go forth Lady Wagtaile Will you do us the favour old Gentlewoman as to let the Lady know we are here Reformer If I am not so old as to be insensible this is she Lady Wagtaile Is this she alas good Lady she is not well for surely she hath a fit of an Ague upon her she doth so shake you should give her a Carduus-possit and put her to bed Lady Amorous Lady are you sick She Answers not Lady Wagtaile She is sick indeed if she be speechless Reformer Madam pray pull up your spirits and entertain this honourable Company Lady Wagtaile Why is the defect in her spirits Reformer She is young and bashfull They all laugh except Sir Roger Exception and Sir Serious Dumb. Ha! Ha! She is out of countenance Sir Roger Exception No she is angry because we are strangers unknown unto her and she takes it for a rudeness that we are come to visit her therefore let us be gone Lady Amorous Let me tell you it is meer shamefacedness Sir Roger Exception I say no for those that are angry will shake extreamly and turn as pale as death Sir Humphrey Bold Lady take courage and look upon us with a confident brow All the while Sir Serious Dumb lookes on the Lady Bashfull with sixt eyes The Lady Bashfull offers to speak to the Company but cannot for stuttering they all laugh again at her Reformer Lord Madam I will you make your self ridiculous Lady Bashfull I cannot help it for my thoughts are consumed in the fiery flame of my blushes and my words are smothered in the smoak of shame Lady Wagtaile O! she speakes she speakes a little Reformer Pray Madam leave her at this time and if you honour her with your Company again she may chance to entertain you with some confidence Lady Wagtaile Pray let me and Sir Humphry Bold come and visit her once a day if it be but halfe an hour at a time and we shall cure her I warrant thee Reformer I wish she were cured of this imperfection Sir Humphry Bold She must marry she must marry for there is no cure like a husband for husbands beget confidence and their wives are brought a bed with impudence Lady Wagtaile By your favour Sir Humphry Bold marriage must give way or place to courtship for there are some wives as simply bashfull as Virgins but when did you ever see or know or hear of courtly lovers or Amorous courtships to be bashfull Their eyes are as piercing as light and twinckles as Starrs and their countenance as confident as day and the discourses is freer than wind He imbraces her Sir Humphry Bold And your imbraces are wondrous kind Lady Wagtaile In troth we women love you men but too well that
or Wife to the Lord de L'amour 6. Passive the Lady Innocences maid 7. Falshood an informer to maids of the Lady Incontinent Physitians Natural Philosophers Moral Philosophers young Students Souldiers Lovers Mourners Virgins Servants and others ACT I. Scene 1. Enter Sir Thomas Father Love and his wife the Mother Lady Love MOther Love Husband you have a strange nature that having but one child and never like to have more and this your childe a daughter that you should breed her so strictly as to give her no time for recreation nor no liberty for company nor freedom for conversation but keeps her as a Prisoner and makes her a slave to her book and your tedious moral discourses when other children have Play-fellows and toyes to sport and passe their time withall Father Love Good wife be content doth not she play when she reads books of Poetry and can there be nobler amiabler finer usefuller and wiser companions than the Sciences or pleasanter Play-fellows than the Muses can she have freer conversation than with wit or more various recreations than Scenes Sonets and Poems Tragical Comical and Musical and the like Or have prettier toyes to sport withall than fancie and hath not the liberty so many hours in the day as children have to play in Mother Love Do you call this playing which sets her brain a working to find out the conceits when perchance there is none to find out but are cheats and cozens the Readers with empty words at best it fills her head but with strange phantasmes disturbs her sleep with frightfull dreams of transformed bodyes of Monsters and ugly shaped vices of Hells and Furies and terrifying Gods of Wars and Battles of long travels and dangerous escapes and the pleasantest is but dark groves gloomy fields and the happiest condition but to walk idly about the Elizium fields and thus you breed your daughter as if your Posterity were to be raised from a Poets phantastical brain Father Love I wish my Posterity may last but as long as Homers lines Mother Love Truly it will be a fine airey brood No no I will have her bred as to make a good houswife as to know how to order her Family breed her Children govern her Servants entertain her Neighbours and to fashion herself to all companies times and places and not to be mewed and moped up as she is from all the World insomuch as she never saw twenty persons in one company in all her life unless it be in pictures which you set her to stare on above an hour everyday Besides what Father doth educate their Daughters that office belongs to me but because you have never a Son to tutor therefore you will turn Cotqucan and teach your daughter which is my work Father Love Let me tell you Wife that is the reason all women are fools for women breeding up women one fool breeding up another and as long as that custom lasts there is no hopes of amendment and ancient customs being a second nature makes folly hereditary in that Sex by reason their education is effeminate and their times spent in pins points and laces their study only vain fashions which breeds prodigality pride and envie Mother Love What would you have women bred up to swear swagger gaming drinking Whoring as most men are Father Love No Wife I would have them bred in learned Schools to noble Arts and Sciences as wise men are Mother Love What Arts to ride Horses and fight Dewels Father Love Yes if it be to defend their Honour Countrey and Religion For noble Arts makes not base Vices nor is the cause of lewd actions nor is unseemly for any Sex but baseness vice and lewdnesse invents unhandsome and undecent Arts which dishonours by the practice either Sex Mother Love Come come Husband I will have her bred as usually our Sex is and not after a new fashioned way created out of a self-opiniated that you can alter nature by education No no let me tell you a woman will be a woman do what you can and you may assoon create a new World as change a womans nature and disposition Enter the Lady Sanspareille as to her Father as not thinking her Mother was there Sanspareille O Father I have been in search of you to ask you a question concerning the Sun When she sees her Mother she starts back Mother What have you to do with the Sun and lives in the shade of the Worlds obscuritie Sansp. VVhy Madam where would you have me live can I live in a more serene aire than in my Fathers house or in a purer or clearer light than in my Parents eyes or more splendrous than in my Parents company Mother I would have you live at Court there to have honour favour and grace and not to lose your time ignorantly knowing nothing of the VVorld nor the VVorld of you Sansp. Can I live with more honour than with my Father and You or have more favour than your loves or is there a greater grace than to be Daughter of vertuous Parents can I use or imploy my time better than to obey my Parents commands need I know more than honesty modesty civility and duty As for the VVorld mankind is so partial to each self as they have no faith on the worth of their Neighbour neither doth they take notice of a Stranger but to be taken notice of Mother Love Yes yes your beauty will attract eyes and ears which are the doors to let in good opinion and admiration Sansp. Had I a tongue like a Cerces-wand to charm all ears that heard me it would straight transform men from civil Obligers to spitefull Detractors or false Slanderers my beauty may only serve but as a bribe to tempt men to intrap my youth and to betray my innocency Mother To betray a fools-head of your own Lord Lord how the dispositions of Youth is changed since I was young for before I came to your Age I thought my Parents unnaturall because they did not provide me a Husband Sanspareille If all youth were of my humour their dispositions are changed indeed for Heaven knows it is the only curse I fear a Husband Mother Love Why then you think me curst in Marrying your Father Sansp. No Madam you are blest not only in being a Wife a condition you desired but being marryed to such a man that wishes could not hope for Mother Love Why then my good Fortune may encourage you and raise a hope to get the like Sansp. O no! It rather drives me to dispair beleiving there is no second Mother Love Come come you are an unnatural Child to flatter your Father so much and not me when I endured great pains to breed bear and nurse you up Sansp. I do not flatter Madam for I speak nothing but my thoughts and that which Love and duty doth allow and truth approve of Father Love Come come Wife the Jeerals wit will out-argue both ours Ex. Scene 2. Enter the
will as to make a crooked body straight Ex. Scene 9. Enter Sir Thomas Father Love bringing in the Auditours into a large roome nobly furnished where at one end or side is a place raised and railed with guilt rayles for the Lady Sanspareille to stand on FAther Love Gentlemen pray do not think me rude by drawing you from your serious studies by an intruding invitation to hear a young student discourse 1. Philosopher 'T is true Sir we should have been glad to have heard you discourse for you might instruct us where as a young student is rather to be instructed for it is time that brings knowledg or gets wit or speakes eloquently Father Love 'T is true but yet in some naturall ingenuity it is as strong as time and produceth that which time of it selfe could not do 2. Philosopher Sir if your young students wit be as fine as her standing place it will be delightfull 3. Philosopher Sir you have adorned her Theater to inthrone her wit Father Gentlemen I wish her wit may furnish and so adorn your understanding but if you please to sit such as it is shall be presented to you Being all placed the Lady Sanspereille enters upon the mounted place drest all in black fit for the gravity of the Company The Company upon her entrance seems to be struck with amaze of her beauty they speak to her Father 1. Philosopher Sir we perceive now you have invited us to feast our eyes not our eares Father Gentlemen if you please to give her so much patience to hear her then judge or censure as you please Then they all cry Whist Whist After the Lady by her Civill bows had given respect to all the Company with a modest and amiable Countenance with a gentle and well pleased eye and a gracefull and winning behaviour thus speaks Lady Sanspareile The Majesty of Age and sage gravity are objects able to put unexperienced and unpracticed youth out of Countenance and bashfullness is the greatest enemy to discourse for it discomposes the Countenance disturbes the thoughts disorders the words and confounds the sence therein but youth hath many times this advantage that it apprehends not the disgrace that experienced years and deeper judgment doth For the truth is bashfullness proceeds from too great an apprehension but I not apprehending far enough may comit errours through a confident ignorance but if you think my confidence too much for my youth yet pray judge not my modesty to litle for my Sex for speaking belongs as much to the Female Sex as to the Masculine so as it be on sober Subjects and to grave Fathers and wise men or intruth to any degree of Age or Sex or Birth so as it be timely suitably rationably and modestly delivered And why may not women speak in publick and to publick assemblies as well as in privat visits and particular entertainments and to particular persons and acquaintance And in reason it should be more commendable that womens discourse and actions are such as they fear no witness Nay they ought never to speak or shew themselves to those persons that are not domestick without sufficient witness for privat discourses which are like whisperings and secret meetings and particular entertainments are subject to loos customs rude behaviours and lascivious discourses mischievous designes and dangerous plots all which takes leave without warrant and assaults without warning yet it is probable this Auditory will think my Father is too indulgent to his Child to let her to make publick Orations or that he is too vain glorious as to believe or hope his Child may get applause or esteem in the world by her discourses But First I must remember them that it is naturall for Parents to be fond of their Children Secondly it is no crime nor indiscretion for a Father to believe or think his Child may have as much wit as any other mans Child if he have given as good education Thirdly it is not against nature and reason but that women may discourse of several subjects as well as men and that they may have as probable opinions and as profitable inventions as fresh fancies as quick wits and as easy expressions as men if their education be answerable to their naturall capacityes and ingenuityes As for my selfe I must tell this assembly I have been bred industriously for I have been instructed with as much knowledg as my yeares was capable to understand but the truth is that my educatours strove to ripen my understanding before the naturall time like those that hastens fruit to be ripe forcing it by artificiall means not staying for the naturall heat of the Sun so was my understanding like as the tree and my wit as the fruit by which it wants the Aromaticall and delicious relish that naturall time gives which makes me fear my wit will relish to the eares of the hearers as such forced fruits to the tast of the eaters I have only this request that though you may dislike it for want of the naturall sweetness yet pray esteem of it for the rarity as being not usuall for one of my years and Sex to speak argue and make Orations in a publick assembly but it is likely this assembly may think this is a vain glorious Prologue to my following discourse But I must tell this worthy grave and learned assembly that I am not bound to follow a vain custome nay I may say a dishonest one as when Oratours do dissemble as on my Conscience most do selfe love being naturall to all besides many times they disgrace their birth by a dissembling humbleness and bely their thoughts knowledge and education when as they say they are unworthy to speak to such an assembly and that they are unlearned their knowledg is little their understanding dull their judgment weak their capacity narrow and that they are unexperienced and unfurnished of expressions to deliver the subject or matter of their discourse if this or the like which they say be true they abuse the Auditory and themselves to invite them or draw them to hear that they think is not worth the listening to and if they be not so as they say they bely the nature and education which heaven forbid I should be so ungratefull to nature so base to my birth so undutifull to my Educatour and so unthankfull to the Gods No no I will not be so for I will publickly acknowledg natures favours who hath given me more wit than time hath given me yeares she hath furnished me with ingenuity beyond an ordinary proportion and hath drawn the plat form of my mind Mathematically and pensiled me with her best coullourd dyes for which I am bound morally to serve her As for my birth as I am of the same kind of Mankind I am equall with the rest let my condition be never so poor I have no reason to be ashamed of the Kind but my birth is Honourable by length of time as for my education it
but I perceive Lady you are a right begotten daughter of Nature and will follow the steps of your Mother 1 Virgin Yes or else I should be unnatural which I will never be Exeunt ACT II. Scene 8. Enter Monsieur Pere and Monsieur Frere MOnsieur Frere Sir I wonder since my sister is so handsome that you did not marry her more to her advantage Pere Why Son I think I have marry'd her very well for your advantage for her beauty was her only Portion and she is marry'd to a noble Gentleman who hath a very great Estate Frere But Sir her beauty doth deserve a King nay an Emperour a Caesar of the World Pere O Son you are young which makes you partial on your sisters side Exeunt Scene 9. Enter Madam Bonit and her Maid Nan BOnit It 's a strange forgetfulness not to come near me in two hours but let me sit without a fire if you were my Mistris I should make a conscience to be more diligent than you are if I did take wages for my service as you do Nan If you do not like me take another Bonit If you be weary of my service pray change perchance you may get a better Mistris and I hope I shall get as careful a servant Exeunt Scene 10. Enter the Sociable Virgins and the Matrons 1 VIrgin I would have all women bred to manage Civil Affairs and men to manage the Military both by Sea and Land also women to follow all Manufactures at home and the men all Affairs that are abroad likewise all Arts of Labour the men to be imploy'd in and for all Arts of Curiosity the women 2 Virgin Nay certainly if women were imploy'd in the Affairs of State the World would live more happily 3 Virgin So they were imploy'd in those things or business that were proper for their strength and capacity 1 Matron Let me tell you Ladies women have no more capacity than what is as thin as a Cobweb-laun which every eye may see through even those that are weak and half blind 4 Virgin Why we are not Fools we are capable of Knowledge we only want Experience and Education to make us as wise as men Matron But women are uncapable of publick Imployments 1 Virgin Some we will grant are so are some men for some are neither made by Heaven Nature nor Education sit to be States-men 2 Virgin And Education is the chief for Lawyers and Divines can never be good States-men they are too learned to be wise they may be good Orators but never subtil Counsellors they are better Disputers than Conuivers they are fitter for Faction than Reformation the one make quarrels or upholds quarrels the other raises doubts But good States-men are bred in Courts Camps and Cities and not in Schools and Closets at Bars and in Pulpits and women are bred in Courts and Cities they only want the Camp to give them the perfect State-breeding 3 Virgin Certainly if we had that breeding and did govern we should govern the world better than it is 4 Virgin Yes for it cannot be govern'd worse than it is for the whole World is together by the Ears all up in Wars and Blood which shews there is a general defect in the Rulers and Governors thereof 1 Virgin Indeed the State-Counsellers in this Age have more Formality than Policy and Princes more plausible words than rewardable deeds insomuch as they are like Fidlers that play Artificially and Skilfully yet it is but a sound which they make and give and not real presences 2 Virg. You say true and as there is no Prince that hath had the like good fortune as Alexander and Caesar so none have had the like Generosities as they had which shews as if Fortune when she dealt in good earnest and not in mockery measur'd her gifts by the largeness of the Heart and the liberality of the hand of those she gave to And as for the death of those two Worthies she had no hand in them nor was she any way guilty thereof for the Gods distribute life and death without the help of Fortune Matron 'T is strange Ladies to hear how you talk without knowledge neither is it fit for such young Ladies as you are to talk of State-matters leave this discourse to the Autumnal of your Sex or old Court-Ladies who take upon them to know every thing although they understand nothing But your Discourses should be of Masks Plays and Balls and such like Recreations fit for your Youth and Beauties Scene 11. Enter Monsieur Malataste and Madam Bonit MAlataste What 's the reason you turn away Nan Bonit Why she turns away me for she is more willing to be gone than I to have her go Malateste It is a strange humour in you as never to be pleas'd for you are always quarrelling with your servants Bonit Truly I do not remember that ever I had a dispute or quarrel with any servant since I was your Wife before this with your Maid Nan and to prove it is that I do not speak many words in a whole day Malateste Those you speak it seems are sharp Bonit Let it be as you say for I will not contradict you Malateste Well then take notice I will not have Nan turn'd away Bonit I am glad she pleases you so well and sorry I can please you no better Exeunt Scene 12. Enter Monsieur Frere alone FRere She is very handsom extreme handsom beyond all the women that ever Nature made O that she were not my sister Enter Madam Soeur He starts Soeur I doubt Brother I have surpriz'd you with my sudden coming in for you start Frere Your Beauty Sister will not only surprize but astonish any man that looks thereon Soeur You have us'd your self so much to dissembling Courtships since you went into Italy as you cannot forbear using them to your sister But pray leave off that unnecessary civility to me and let us talk familiarly as brothers and sisters use to do Frere With all my heart as familiarly as you please Soeur Pray Brother tell me if the women in Italy be handsom and what Fashions they have and how they are behav'd Frere To tell you in short they are so Artify'd as a man cannot tell whether they are naturally handsom or not As for their Behaviour they are very Modest Grave and Ceremonious in publick and in private confident kind and free after an humble and insinuating manner they are bred to all Virtues especially to dance sing and play on Musical Instruments they are naturally crafty deceitful false covetous luxurious and amorous they love their pleasures better than Heaven As for their fashion of garments they change as most Nations do as one while in one and then in another As for their Houses they are furnish'd richly and themselves adorned costly when they keep at home in their houses for they dress themselves finest when they entertain strangers or acquaintance but this Relation is only of
a fame but what fame soever men get the woman loses as being thought either too kind or cruell Madamoiselle Amor Sister this Gentleman never saw you only fought in his own defence he desires you would give him leave to come and kiss your hands he is a very gallant man and an experienced Souldier Madamoiselle La Belle A Souldier why he never lead an Army nor pitcht a Field nor fought a Battel he never Intrencht nor Incampt he never guarded kept nor took Fort Town or City perchance he hath studied as most Gentlemen do so much of Fortification as to talk of Trenches Lines Ramparts Bullworks Curtains Wings Faces Forts Centries And of Amunition Cannon Muskets Carabines Pistols Slings Bowes Arrows Darts Pikes Bills Halbards Bolts Poleaxes Swords Cimeters Shot Bullets Powder Drums Trumpets Waggons Tents and the like and for Arms Pot Back Breast Gantlets corslets Gorgets and the like thus they learn the Names but seldome practice the use Madamoiselle Amor Yes this Gentleman hath lead Armies pitcht Fields fought Battels where those he won were won by his Prudence and Conduct and those he lost were by Fortunes spight whose changing power and inconstant humour no Mortal can withstand Madamoiselle La Belle Nay Sister if he be so gallant a person I shall not refuse his visits nor deny my self his Company but entertain him as civilly as he may deserve Exeunt ACT V. Scene 17. Enter two Gentlemen 1 GEnt. Well met I was going to your Lodging 2 Gent. Faith if you had gone to my Lodging you had mist of my Company 1 Gent. But howsoever I should have been entertained by thy old Landlady for she makes me welcome in thy absence 2 Gent. The truth of it is that my Landlady as old as she is loves the Company of men especially of young men for if a young man will trouble himself to stay in her Company and talk to her she is so pleased as she makes more wrinckles with her smiles than Time hath made and she will simperingly put in her Chin as if she were but fifteen 1 Gent. Faith I commend women for they will never yield to ages humours though they are forced to yield to ages infirmities for their minds are always young though their bodyes be old 2 Gent. Indeed their minds are Girls all their life time but leaving old women will you go see Monsieur Phantasie 1 Gent. Is he so well as to admit of Visiters 2 Gent. Yes for he is in a recovering condition and state of Health 1 Gent. Come let us go then Exeunt Scene 18. Enter Monsieur Heroick and Madamoiselle La Belle MOnsieur Heroick Madam the fame of your Beauty and Virtue hath drawn me hither to offer my service on the altar of your commands Madamoiselle La Belle You are so great a favourite to Nature and Fortune and are so splenderous with their gifts as you are able to put the confidence of our Sex out of Countenance especially I that am by Nature bashfull wherefore it is unlikely I should command you Monsieur Heroick I had rather be commanded by you Lady than to command the whole World and should be prouder to be your Slave than to be that sole Monarch Madamoiselle La Belle I should be sorry so gallant a man as fame reports you to be should have so sick a Judgment and so ungoverned a Passion as to yield up your liberty to a woman and to ty your life to her vain foolish humours Monsieur Heroick It is impossible that in so heavenly a form a foolish Soul should be for I perceive by your beautifull person Nature hath out-wrought her self having not Art or skill to make a Second and what man would not be proud to serve the only she Madamoiselle La Belle O Sir take heed you wrong not your noble worth and merit in being over civill for complements are all dissembling and dissembling runs in the ways of perjury Monsieur Heroick Pray Madam conster not my love-service and admiration to an idle Visit a vain Discourse and false Profession for if you appear not so beautifull to all the World as you appear to me yet I dare boldly tell the world I think you so and will maintain it with my life Madamoiselle La Belle I believe then I am more beholding to your Eyes that have contracted me into a beautifull form than unto Nature that hath made me of a vulgar shape Monsieur Heroick Your Tongue Lady hath the power of Circes wand to charm the Senses and transform the shape making all men it speaks to either to appear Monsters or Gods Madamoiselle La Belle You have Inthroned me with your Favours and Crowned me with your Commendations Monsieur Heroick My desire is that you will Crown me with your Love Exeunt Scene 19. Enter Madamoiselle Detractor Madamoiselle Malicious and Madamoiselle Tell-truth TEll-truth I hear that Madamoiselle Bon shall marry her unconstant Servant Monsieur Phantasie Detractor Faith that is a comfort that any woman can get a Husband whilst the Graces are young and in being Tell-truth The Graces never grow old Detractor Let me tell you Time decays and withers all things Tell-truth No not the Gods Detractor But Time doth waste Devotion wears out Religion burns up the Sacrifice of Praise puts out the Lamp of Charity and quenches out the Vestal fire of Zeal Malicious But then there are new Religions brought in the place or room of the old Detractor Yes and new Gods with new Religions and new Religions and Opinions are like young beautifull Ladyes when they appear first to the view of the World they are followed admired worshiped sought sued and prayed to but when they grow old all their Servants and followers forsake them and seek out those that are younger so the last and newest Opinions and Religions are accounted the best and stuck to for a time the closest and followed by the greatest numbers and have most zealous supplicants thus the Gods dy in effect Tell-truth The truth is that all things that are young are Strong Vigorous Active and Flourishing and whatsoever is old is VVeak Faint Sick and witheringly dyes Enter Madamoiselle Spightfull Spightfull I can tell you news Tell-truth VVhat news Spightfull VVhy Monsieur Nobilissimo to is marry Madamoiselle Amor and his Brother Monsieur Heroick is to marry her Sister Madamoiselle La Belle Tell-truth And who is to marry the third Sister Madamoiselle Grand Esprit Spightfull She is resolved to live a single life Detractor I am glad they have chose Husbands out of the numbers of there Suters for when they are married I hope out of the number of there remainders we may have some offers for Husbands Malicious For my part I shall despair unless the third Sister Madamoiselle Grand Esprit would marry also for the whole bulk of Mankind will sue to her and never think of any other woman whilst she is undisposed of Tell-truth But she it seems hath
not be seen unless to some particular persons or neer friends 1 Lady And how doth she become her Religious Habit 2 Lady So handsomely as she is far handsomer in her Pease habit than when she was drest with all the Arts of Vanityes 1 Lady What manner of Habit is it 2 Lady Somewhat like the Normetanes but much more becoming 1 Lady Well I will go to the Lady her Mother and intreat her to let me go with her to see her Daughter Exeunt Scene 28. Enter two Gentlemen 1 GEntleman 'T is said that now the Lady Perfection is incloystered that the Treaty goeth on betwixt the Arch-Prince and the Emperor Enter a Gentleman running as by they stay him 2 Gent. What 's the matter you run so hastily 1 Gent. I am running to give the Arch-Prince notice that his Neece is in labour and is so ill she is like to dy 2 Gent. We will not stay you then Exeunt Scene 29. Enter Mistriss Odd-Humour and her Maid Nan MIstriss Odd-Humour It 's said the Lady Perfection hath entered into a Religious Order she is happy would I were so Nan It is a question whether you would think your self so if you were as she is Mistriss Odd-Humour I think the happiest life is to be a Devote Nan Faith Mistriss you wish to be a Devote not so much out of a devotion as for a change in life as many wish to be marryed out of a desire to alter their course of life and when they are marryed they wish to be unmarried again so would you do if you were a Devote Mistriss Odd-Humour Oh no for though those that are married wish to be unmarried by reason Marriage is the most troublesome unquiet life that is but a Devotes life is the most peaceable and quiet life that is so as there is as much difference in the course of a Married life and an Incloystered life as between Heaven and Hell Nan Then the most part of the World prefers Hell before Heaven for more are Married than are Incloystered Mistriss Odd-Humour Truly by the course of the VVorld and the action of men one would think there would be more Devils in Hell than Saints in Heaven Exeunt Scene 30. Enter two Gentlemen 1 GEnt. You hear the news of the Princess delivery and her Death 2 Gent. Yes I heard she died as soon as delivered but she hath left a Son and Heir to her sorrowfull Husband 1 Gent. I do not believe her Husband is much troubled or grieved for her Death as his Father is 2 Gent. Indeed I think the young Lord had no great affections for her 1 Gent. No surely for he loves the Lady he was first married to so well as he could spare no love for any other woman 2 Gent. If that Lady had not entered into a Religious Order he might have remarried her but now he cannot 1 Gent. I believe that if the other Lady had known the Princess should have died so soon she would not have been so Religious as to have Incloystered her self from the VVorld and to ha' bard up her liberty with Vows 2 Gent. 'T is like when she hears of the Princesses Death she will repent the acts of devotion 1 Gent. Then Repentance is not always for acts of evill but sometimes of good 2 Gent. There is Repentance of all sorts and degrees and there are more enter into Religious Orders out of Discontent than for Love to God 1 Gent. That is an uncharitable opinion 2 Gent. Nay 't is not a bare Opinion that may be proved nor uncharitable to speak the truth Exeunt ACT IV. Scene 31. Enter Mistriss Odd-Humour and her Maid Nan MIstriss Odd-Humour Oh Nan I am undone for ever Nan As how Mistriss Mistriss Odd-Humour Why by your neglect and carelessness for your not watching my Fathers coming home to give me notice my Father hath found my Chair for I hearing him come run to hide a-way my Chair he coming and seeing me scuttle about the room imagined I desired to hide something from him for which he searches all my Chamber over at last he went and looked into the Cole-hole where I had flung my Chair and finding it he carried it a-way in one hand and led me a-long in the other hand and causing a fire to be made of the Chair made me stand by to see the Martyrdome whereat I was so afflicted as I lost my fight in tears which tears I let run on the fire hoping to quench it out but they were so brind with grief as they did rather augment the fury of the fire than abate the rage of the flame so that which I thought would have been a preserver did hasten the destruction Nan Faith Mistriss it is none of my fault for your Mother sent me of an errand and whilst I was absent by your Mothers commands it seem'd your Father came home Mistriss Odd-Humour This is an excuse Nan You may believe it 't is no excuse but truth for I that ventured the loss of my Soul by telling a lie to save your Chair would not neglect the watch had not I been commanded away Mistriss Odd-Humour I am of an opinion you were brib'd to betray the life of my Chair and bribes are so powerfull as they corrupt promises and vows even the Soul its self though the Soul makes no use of bribes yet it will venture to be damn'd for a bribes sake Nan Well Mistriss since a mistrust is all my reward you shall tell the next lie your self Mistriss Odd-Humour No prethee Nan let us be friends for I shall never get a Servant that will so readily tell lyes for me as you do wherefore let us shake hands and be friends They shake hands Nan VVell Mistriss let me tell you that my hand and tongue is at your service the one to work the other to lie for your service Mistriss Odd-Humour I thank you Nan for many Servants will lie but few will work Exeunt Scene 32. Enter two Gentlemen 1 GEnt. The Lord Melancholy hath such a sober sad Countenance as I never saw any young man have the like 2 Gent. Indeed I never saw him smile in my life 1 Gent. I askt a Gentleman that waits on him whether his Lord did ever smile he said he never saw him smile since he parted from his first Lady 2 Gent. Then he hath not smiled this nine years for so long it is since he parted from his first Lady 1 Gent. If the siege last one year more it will be as long a siege as the siege of Troy 2 Gent. Indeed the causes of either siege resembles each other as both for the love of fair Ladyes I know not whether the effect will prove alike as whether it will be the destruction of his heart as the siege of Troy was the destruction of Troy 1 Gent. But the Lord Melancholy is rather like Hellen than Menelaus for he hath had two wives and the Lady Perfection is as Menelaus for her