We see by experience that euery beast and euery fowle is nourished and bred of the same that did beare it onely some women loue to be mothers but not nurses As therefore euery tree doth cherish and nourish that which it bringeth forth euen so also it becometh naturall mothers to nourish their children with their owne milke Secondly the examples of the Scriptures are many that proue this As Sarah who nursed Isaack though she were a Princesse and therefore able enough to haue had others to haue taken that paines Though she was a beautifull woman and of great yeares yet she her selfe nursed and gaue sucke to her sonne Also Anna vnto whom the holy Ghost hath left it recorded as a commendation that she nursed her owne sonne Samuel So when God chose a nurse for Moses he led the hand-maide of Pharaos daughter to his mother as though God would haue none to nurse him but his mother Like wise when the Sonne of God was borne his Father thought none fit to be his nurse but the blessed virgin his mother It is a commendation of a good woman and set downe in the first place as a principall good worke in a widow that is well reported of if she haue nursed her children And therfore such as refuse thus to do may well and fitly be called nice and vnnaturall mothers yea in so doing they make themselues but halfe mothers and so breake the holy bond of nature in locking vp their breasts from their children and deliuering them forth like the Cuckoo to be hatched in the sparrowes nest Thirdly the childrens bodies be commonly so affected as the milke is which they receiue Now if the nurse be of an euill complexion as she is affected in her body or in her mind or hath some hidden disease the child sucking of her breast must needs take part with her And if that be true which the learned do say that the temperature of the mind followes the constitution of the body needs must it be that if the nurse be of a naughty nature the child must take thereafter Yet if it be so that the nurse be of a good complexion and of an honest behauiour whereas contrariwise maidens that haue made a scape are commonly called to be Nurses yet can it not be but that the mothers milke should be much more naturall for the child then the milke of a stranger As by experience let a man be long accustomed to one kind of drinke if the same man change his ayre and his drinke he is like to mislike it as the egges of a henne are altered vnder a hawke Neuerthelesse such women as be oppressed with infirmities diseases want of milke or other iust and lawfull causes are to be dispensed withall But whose breasts haue this perpetuall drought Forsooth it is like the gowt no beggers may haue it but Citizens or Gentlewomen In the ninth of Hosea verse 14. drie breasts are named for a curse What a lamentable hap haue Gentle-women to light vpon this curse more then others Sure if their breasts be drie as they say they are they should fast and pray together that this curse might be remoued from them And lastly that it is hurtfull to the mothers themselues both Physitians can tell and some women full oft haue felt when they haue bene troubled with sore breasts besides other diseases that happen to them through plentie of milke The wise is further to remember that God hath giuen her two breasts not that she should employ and vse them for a shew or of ostentation but in the seruice of God and to be a helpe to her husband in suckling the child common to them both Experience teacheth that God conuerteth the mothers bloud into the milke wherewith the child is nursed in her wombe He bringeth it into the breasts furnished with nipples conuenient to minister the warme milke vnto the child whom he endueth with industrie to draw out the milke for his owne sustenance The woman therefore that can suckle her child and doth it not but resuseth this office and duty of a mother declareth her selfe to be very vnthankfull to God and as it were forsaketh and contemneth the fruite of her wombe And therefore the bruite beasts lying vpon the ground and granting not one nipple or two but sixe or seauen to their young ones shall rise in iudgment against these dainty half-mothers who for feare of wrinckling of their faces or to auoyd some small labour do refuse this so necessary a duty of a mother due to her children The properties due to a married wife are that she haue grauitie when she walketh abroad wisedome to gouerne her house patience to suffer her husband loue to breed and bring vp her children courtesie towards her neighbours diligence to lay vp and to saue such goods as are within her charge that she be a friend of honest company and a greater enemie of want on and light toyed So then the principall dutie of the wife is first to be subiect to her husband Ephes. 5. 22. Colloss 3. 18. 1. Pet. 3. 1. 2. To be chast and shamefast modest and silent godly and discreet 3. To keepe her selfe at home for the good gouernment of her family and not to stray abroad without iust cause Here it is not to be pretermitted but we must say somewhat touching men and women that betwise married and so become step-fathers and step-mothers Such husbands and wiues as marrie againe after the death of their first wiues or first husbands are carefully to remember that they do not displease their wiues or their husbands which they now haue by ouermuch rehearsing of their first wife or first husband For the course and condition of the world is such that husbands and wiues do account and reckon things past better then things that be present And the reason is because no commoditie or felicitie is so great but it hath some griefe and displeasure and also some bitternesse mingled with it which so long as it is present grieueth vs sore but when it is once gone it leaueth no great feeling of it selfe behind it and for that cause we seeme to be lesse troubled with sorrowes and discommodities past then with those that are present Also age stealeth and commeth on apace which causeth both men and women to be the lesse able to sustaine and endure troubles and griefes then before Therefore such men and women as be twise married and be wise and religious ought not to esteeme their wife or husband which is dead better then her or him which they enioy now aliue remembering the common prouerbe That we must liue by the quicke and not by the dead and that we must make much of that we now haue Let the name of step-father and step-mother admonish and put them in mind of their duty towards the children of the one and the other For step-father and step-mother doth signifie a sted-father and a
is the want and neglect of the wise discreet and good gouernment that should be in the husbands besides the want of good example that they should giue vnto their wiues both in word and deed For as the common saying is such a husband such a wife For so much as marriage maketh of two persons one therefore the loue of the husband and wife may the better be kept and increased and so continued if they remember the duties last spoken of as also not forget three points following 1. They must be of one heart will and mind and neither to vpbraide or cast the other in the teeth with their wants and imperfections any wayes or to pride themselues in their gifts but either the one to endeuour to supply the others wants that so they both helping and doing their best together may be one perfect body 2. It doth greatly increase loue when the one faithfully serueth the other when in things concerning marriage the one hideth no secrets nor priuities from the other and the one doth not vtter or publish the frailties or infirmities of the other and when of all that euer they obtaine or get they haue but one common purse together the one locking vp nothing from the other and also when the one is faithfull to the other in all businesse and affaires Likewise when the one hearkeneth to the other when the one thinketh not scorne of the other and when in matters concerning the gouernment of the house the one will be counselled and aduised by the other the one of them being alwayes louing kind courteous plaine and gentle vnto the other in words manners and deeds 3. Let the one learne euer to be obsequious diligent and seruiceable to the other in all honest things And this will the sooner come to passe if the one obserue and marke what thing the other can away withall or cānot away withall and what pleaseth or displeaseth them and so from thence-foorth to do the one and to leaue the other vndone And if one of them be angry and offended with the other then let the party grieued open and make knowne vnto the other their griefe in due time and with discretion For the longer a displeasure or euill will rages in secret the worse wil be the discord And this must be obserued that it be done in a fit and conuenient time because there is some season in the which if griefes were shewed it should make great debate And if the wife would go about to tell or admonish her husband when he is out of patience or moued with anger it should then be no fit time to talke with him Therefore Abigail perceiuing Nabal her husband to be drunke would not speake to him vntill the morning Both the husband and wife must remember that the one be not so offended and displeased with the manners of the other that they should thereupon forsake the company one of another for that were like to one that being stung with the Bees would therefore forsake the bony And therefore no man may put away his wife for any cause except for whoredome which must be duly prooued before a lawfull Iudge But all godly and faithfull married folkes are to commend their state and marriage to God by humble and feruent prayer that he for his beloued Sonnes sake would so blesse them and their marriage that they may so Christianly and dutifully agree betweene themselues that they may haue no cause of any separation or diuorcement For like as all manner of medicines specially they that go nighest death as to cut off whole members c. are very loathsome and terrible euen so is diuorcement indeed a medicine but a perillous and terrible medicine Therefore euery good Christian husband and wife ought with all care and heedfulnesse so to liue in marriage that they haue no need of such a medicine As the holy Scripture maketh mention of many wiues and women that were wicked and vngodly as partly may be seene by these quotations 1. King 1. 2. Prou. 7. 27 and 22. 14. and 25. 24. and 27. 15. Eccles. 7. 28. So contrariwise the same sacred Scripture also commendeth vnto vs many women that haue bene deuout religious and vertuous as partly is manifest by that which hath bene already said and also by these places of Scripture Ruth 2. 11. 1. Sam. 25. 3. Pro. 14. 1. and 31. 10. Mat. 28. 1. 8. 9. 10. Luke 8. 2. 3. and 23. 55. 56. Acts 1. 14. and 17. 4. and 9. 36. 39. 2. Ioh. 1. 2. Tim. 1. 5. And whosoeuer shall obserue it in the reading of the word of God shall find that it speaketh of the praise of as many and mo good women then men Yea and I am perswaded that if at this day a due suruey should be taken of all the men women throughout his Maiesties dominions there would be found in number moe women that are faithfull religious and vertuous then men Now if a wife be desirous to know how farre she is bound to obey her husband the Apostle resolueth this doubt where he saith Ephesians 5. 22. Wiues submit your selues vnto your husbands as to the Lord. As if he had said wiues cannot be disobedient to their husbands but they must resist God also who is the author of this subiection and that they must regard their husbands will as the Lords will But yec withall as the Lord commandeth that which is good right so she should obey her husband in good and right or else she doth not obey him as the Lord but as the tempter The first subiection of the woman began at sinne For when God cursed her for seducing her husband when the serpent had deceiued her he said He shall haue authoritts ouer thee And therefore as the man named all other creatures in signe that they should be subiect to him as a seruant which commeth when his maister calleth him by his name so he did name the woman also in token that she should be subiect vnto him likewise And therefore Assuerus made a law that euery man should beare rule in his owne house and not the woman Because she sinned first therefore she is humbled most and euer since the daughters of Sarah are bound to call their husbands Lord as Sarah called her husband that is to take them for heads and gouernours Amongst the particular duties that a Christian wife ought to performe in her family this is one namely that she nurse her owne children which to omit and to put them foorth to nursing is both against the law of nature and also against the will of God Besides it is hurtfull both for the childs body and also for his wit lastly it is hurtfull to the mother her selfe and it is an occasion that she falleth into much 〈◊〉 thereby First nature giueth milke to the woman for none other end but that she should bestow it vpon her child
sted-mother that is one father and one mother dyeth and another succeedeth and commeth in their stead and roome Therefore to the end that both their loues may be seiled towards the children of the one and the other they must remember that they are stead-father and stead-mother that is in stead of their owne father and mother and therefore they ought to loue them to tender them and to cherish them as their owne father or mother did You must not looke vpon them like Rehoboam who told his people that he would be worse vnto them then his predecessor for then the children will dislike of you and turne from you as his subiects did from him but ye must come to them as Dauid came to the people after Saules death who said Though your Maister Saul be dead yet I will reigne ouer you So ye must say to them though your father be dead or though your mother be dead yet I will be a father or I will be a mother vnto you so the children will loue you as much as they did their dead father or dead mother For that man that is led with discretion reason and consideration will reckon himselfe and his wife all one And likewise she will account her selfe and her husband as one And therefore they ought to account both the children of the one and of the other as common to them both For if friendship make all things common among friends insomuch that they haue loued fauoured their friends children as their owne how much more effectually and perfectly ought marriage to cause the same which is the highest degree not onely of friendship but also of all bloud and kindred But step-mothers do more often offend and faile in this dutie then men by reason that their affections be stronger then mens and many times ouer-rule them and therefore they are earnestly to be admonished and warned that they shew to those motherlesse children no step-mothers friendship but a right motherly kindnesse Let the step-mother aduisedly consider that God hath ordained and appointed her in steast of their owne mother to be to them a right true mother and not onely to regard them as children but as orphane children and that he requireth her to loue them and to do them good as to her owne What a griefe wold it be to her heart if she should know now that her owne children whom she hath borne in her owne body should after her death haue a step-mother that would be rigorous churlish and vnkinde vnto them Doubtlesse those childrens mother that dead is had vpon her death-bed no lesse care for her children Let her therefore alwayes haue in minde this saying of our Sauiour Christ As you measure vnto others so it shall be measured to you againe that is as the step-mother doth intreate the children of her predecessor so another wife may come after her and intreate her children For he that tooke away the first mother and sent her can take away the second mother and send a third which will not be like a stead-stead-mother to hers vnlesse she be like a stead-stead-mother to these Verily a good woman will be vnto her husbands children that which she may heare them call her so often that is Mother For what Christian woman is so farre from all humanitie and naturall affection that will not be moued and mitigated with this word Mother of whom soeuer it be spoken and chiefly of children which cannot flatter but speake euen so from their heart as they would to their owne mother of whom they were borne How sweete is the name of friendship how many iniuries hatreds and displeasures doth it hide and put away Then how much more effectuall ought the sweete name of Mother to be which is full of incredible loue Therefore euery religious and louing wife will be mollified and moued in her heart and mind when she shall heare her selfe named Mother by any of her husbands children Otherwise she shall shew her selfe to be more vnnaturall and vnkind then the wilde sauage beast for there is no beast so outragious and cruell but if any other yong beast of her owne kind fawne vpon her she will by and by shew kindnesse and mildnesse vnto it And shall not her husbands children make her kind louing vnto them when they call and speake vnto her by the louing and sweete name of Mother 3. The third and last point that appertaineth to the duty of wiues is that they do not weare gorgeous and sumptuous apparell or broidered haire trimmed with gold but that after the example of holy women which trusted in God they be sober in outward apparell garnished and decked inwardly with vertues of their minds as with gentlenesse meeknesse quietnesse and chastitie which indeed are most precious things in the sight of God This point is plainly spoken of by the Apostle to Timothie Chap. 2. vers 10 in which place he so flatly condemneth both the excesse and pride of apparell as also the pompe curiositie and wantonnesse which women vse in trimming their heads by plaiting criping broyding curling and curiously laying out that no man can say more against it in few words then he hath spoken to the vtter dislike thereof For if a man should occupie himselfe and giue liberty to his pen to write of the horrible abuse and excessiue pride that many women are guilty of in this behalfe he should rather want time to write then matter to deliuer Therefore such women as will not reforme themselues we leaue them to the Lord who no doubt will in his appointed time not onely seuerely punish them but also their husbands for suffering this great wickednesse and dissolutenesse in their wiues as he did the Iewes for the same sinne as plainly may be teene in Esay 3. 16. c. For so it falleth out according to the common Prouerbe that pride goeth before and shame and destruction commeth after And on the contrary part we hope that such women as be true professors of Christ and his religion will both attire and dresse their heads so decently and also content themselues with such comely apparell as best beseemeth their calling and degree So as by their good example they may draw on other women to reforme themselues in this behalfe and so rather come short of that which their abilitie and place would serue to maintaine then any way to exceed therein to the slander of their profession And let them not so much regard what thing they would faine haue but rather what they cannot well be without so that whatsoeuer they haue no need of is too deare of a farthing The dutie of Parents towards their children THis dutie consisteth in foure points First that fathers and mothers do instruct and bring vp their children euen frō the cradle in the feare nurture of the Lord. Secondly that they bring them vp in shame fastnesse hatred of vice and loue of all vertue
when she was sent for of Dauid to be his wife she first bowed her selfe to the seruants and then made this lowly answer to him that brought the message Behold let thine handmaid be seruant to wash the feete of the seruants of my Lord. Thirdly to admonish them louingly to salute their friends and acquaintance and generally all others whom they take to be Christians and brethren which consisteth in praying well to others wishing health prosperitie vnto them Luke 1. 28. 40. 1. King 1. 17. Fourthly to put them in mind to acknowledge a benefit where they haue receiued it with giuing of thanks Fiftly to teach them to confesse an offence where it is committed with humble crauing of pardon An example hereof they may haue in that vertuous and faire spoken matron Abigail as they may reade in 1. Sam. 25. 23. c. Oh that men and children saw what great dangers they draw vpon them by the neglect of this duty and might preuent it and also what gratious blessings they might procure both to themselues and others by meanes of it as this vertuous Abigail kept Dauid from shedding of innocent blood saued her owne life with the liues of her familie and in the end was receiued to be a Princes wife for the wise carriage of her selfe in this matter Againe parents must teach their children good manners and ciuill behauiour to rise vp to their betters to vncouer the head to make obeysance to be curteous towards their equals to be gentle and louely to their inferiours and louing and kind to all this is no lesse needfull for youth then their meate and their drinke Also to admonish them to giue their elders and betters leaue to speake before them Iob 32. 45. That they keepe silence while their betters are in place vntill they be spoken vnto and then they must make answer in few words without vnnecessary circumstances and directly vnto the matter And they may not be loud babling or hote in speech but cold and milde Prouerbes 17. Warne them that they do not interrupt or trouble others whiles they are in speaking Prou. 19. 20. Wherfore if children will keepe the bounds of good manners they must not be streperous or troublesome in talke but they must obserue and take their due time and course And if there be any thing spoken vnto which they would willingly make answer they must either curteously craue leaue of him that speaketh or else they must carrie it in remembrance vntill their turne cometh to speake which is the better of the twaine And further they must giue an entercourse of speech vnto others and suffer others to speake by them for there is a time to keepe silence and so to heare others speaking for he that will haue all the talke passeth the bounds of good manners Moreouer parents ought to teach their children how to frame their gestures to a reuerent and dutifull behauiour towards others which consisteth in these points 1. The first is to meete those that are comming towards them And of this they haue an example in holy Abraham Genes 18. 2. where it is said And he lifted vp his eyes and looked and lo three men stood by him and when he saw them he ranne to meete them from the tent doore Againe another example they may haue in king Salomon sitting vpon his regall Throne 1. King 2. 19. Bethsheba therefore went to King Salomon to speake vnto him for Adoniah and the King rose to meete her 2. The second is to rise vp to elders and betters when they passe by them And this is taught Leuiticus 19. 23. Thou shalt rise vp before the hoar-head and houour the person of the old man and dread thy God I am the Lord. But here we must warne you of a great abuse which for the most part is cōmitted in all Churches and which tendeth to the high dishonour of God which is this that neither you your selues neither your children nor seruants do know the time of your duties but you will then rise vp to men when both you and they should kneele downe to God as if one that is more honorable among you shall come into the Church while you are vpon your knees in prayer vnto God presently you start vp and leaue God to reuerence men Is this religion Is this deuotion becomming Gods house Is not this all one as if a man should say Stay God here comes in my father my maister my worshipfull neighbour and my good friend to whom I am much beholden I must do my dutie vnto him I must rise vp till he be past and then I will come to thee againe What is this but to preferre men before God This doing plainely sheweth that such are louers of men more then of God and that such as take this dutie and reuerence vpon them are robbers of Gods honour and they shall answer him for it Is there no time to shew our duty towards men but euen then when we are about Gods seruice Why know you when man standeth before God how honourable soeuer he be he is but dung and filth and not to be regarded in comparison of him And let parents learne this wisedome that while they are taught their duties towards men it is not to rob God of his worship but there is an appointed time to euery dutie and purpose as Ecclesiastes in his third Chapter well admonisheth To all things there is an appointed time and a time to euery purpose vnder heauen It is recorded of Leuie to his eternall praise Deut. 33. 9. that in Gods cause he said of his father and mother I see him not neither knew he his brethren nor his owne children Euen so beloued our eyes and our minds and deuotions should be so fixed and intent vpon God when we are in his seruice that we should not see nor regard any man in that while And againe we reade in the second Chapter of the Gospell after Saint Iohn of our Sauiour himselfe who though he was the most dutifull child that euer was borne of woman yet when he was about his fathers businesse he said vnto his mother Woman what haue I to do with thee Which examples will teach vs that when we are about Gods seruice all other duties must sleepe and be laid apart 3. The third dutie of good manners to be obserued in their gesture is to stand while their betters are sitting in place Example of this we haue in holy Abraham of his entertaining of the three strangers as it is written Geneses 18. 8. And he tooke butter and milke and the calfe which he had prepared and set before them and stood by himselfe vnder the tree and they did eate Well may Abraham be called the father of the faithfull for giuing his children so good example 4. The fourth dutie is to bend the knee in token of humilitie and subiection example of this 1. King 2. 19. 5. The fift thing is that they giue
instructed by these and such commandements approued and practised these espousals not only by themselues but also by their children Sampson liking and louing a woman of the Philistims in Timnah desired his father and mother to giue her vnto him to wife and so they did at which time Sampson made a feast according to the custome of the yong men Albeit her father afterwards would not suffer him to marrie her but gaue her to another for which iniury Sampson reuenged himselfe of the Philistims by burning vp their shocks and standing corne vineyards and oliues for which the Philistims burnt both the father and the daughter So Dauid begged Micholl of her father Saul who gaue her vnto him to wife with condition that he should bring him a hundred fore-skinnes of the Philistims and therefore when Saul was dead he required her of Ishbosheth Sauls sonne who 〈◊〉 her vnto him Also Ioseph and Marie the mother of Christ were betrothed which God would neuer haue permitted if it had not bene of his owne ordinance and agreeable to his owne will of if it might any manner of way haue stained 〈◊〉 her Iosephs honesty or Maries virginity nay if it had not much more graced and adorned both then the want of espousals could haue done And to auoyd rediousnesse in so plaine a truth seeing the Scripture giueth power and authoritie to parents to giue and not to giue their children in marriage saying Let him do what he will Againe He that giueth her in mariage doth well and he that giueth her not to marriage doth better whereof we shall speake more at large anone there must needs be before the publicke act of marriage some speciall time appointed wherein both parents and parties may testifie and signifie their mutuall liking and consents vnlesse they despise to marrie in the Lord. Wherefore if the law of Nature the Law of God the practise of the heathen the custome of the faithfull especially of the parents of Christ if the punishmēt of the espowsall-breakers and the rewards and priuiledges of the espowsed and finally if the fatherly authoritie ouer children do approue and require the continuall vse of this ordinance of God it must needs be confessed to be both lawfull and necessary yea being the first principall part of marriage it selfe it must needs be honourable in his kind as well as marriage it selfe is Now then in the next place let vs see and learne what a Contract is to the end that vpon sound knowledge and right iudgement we may alwayes vse it well and neuer ill for want of good vnderstanding A Contract is a voluntarie promise of Marriage mutually made betweene one man and one woman both being meete and free to marrie one another and therefore allowed so to do by their parents This short sentence sheweth the whole nature quality property vse and abuse with all other things that are to be obserued or eschued in a right Contract as shall appeare by the vnfolding of euery word contained therein for as there is none vaine and idle voyde of his proper signification so euery one hath his proper weight seruing for speciall and necessary vse 1. First we call a Contract a promise and so it is indeed for what is a promise but a speech which affirmeth or denyeth to do this or that with purpose and words of testimony to performe and accomplish that which is affirmed or not to do that which is denyed And what other thing is indeed a marriage Contract but this so that it must be in nature a true and right promise not the vow of a promise in time to come but a present promise indeed For if one partie do say I will promise to marrie thee this is no promise indeede but a promise of a promise and consequently no Contract but a promise of a Contract and therefore tyeth not bindeth neither parties nor parents to keepe the same for it is not in nature any Contract at all Againe if a Contract be in promise it is not only a purpose of the heart nor a dumbe shew or doubtfull signification of promise but a plaine promise vttered and pronounced in a right forme of speech as when one saith I do promise to marrie thee or I do espouse affiance or betroth my selfe to thee in marriage or such like wherein all ambiguity and doubtfulnesse of speech is to be eschued that as the meaning of the heart is simple and plaine so like wise the words of the tongue might be simple plaine and voyde of all deceit 2. Secondly we call a Contract a promise of marriage because it is not a promise of euery thing neither of honour of inheritance of riches or of any other thing else sauing onely of marriage Now we meane by marriage not only the parties married but also coniugall marriage duties and offices that peculiarly belong to this honourable estate and are necessarily to be performed mutually of both For this promise touching persons themselues is of such force and weight that it tendeth to the alienation of the propertie of bodies for so it is written The wife hath not the power of her owne body but the husband and likewise also the husband hath not the power ouer his owne body but the wife For although this is not perfectly done till the act of marriage be ended yet this promise is the principall beginner and worker thereof because they that promise marriage do necessarily thereby promise that two shall become one flesh and that they will alwayes giue mutuall beneuolence one to another Touching the peculiar duties of Husbands and Wiues which likewise are promised by this Contract we will here onely recite them leauing the doctrine thereof to another place and time 1. The Husband his duty is first to loue his wife as his owne flesh 2. Then to gouerne her in all duties that properly concerne the state of marriage in knowledge in wisedome iudgement and iustice 3. Thirdly to dwell with her 4. Fourthly to vse her in all due beneuolence honestly soberly and chastly 1. The Wife her dutie is in all reuerence and humilitie to submit and subiect her selfe to her Husband in all such duties as properly belong vnto marriage 2. Secondly therein to be an helpe vnto him according to Gods ordinance 3. Thirdly to obey his commandements in all things which he may command by the authoritie of an Husband 4. Fourthly and lastly to giue him 〈◊〉 beneuolence As for the rest of mutuall duties as they may be all comprehended vnder these so there shall be a fitter occasion to speake thereof Thirdly we call this promise of marriage voluntary because it must not come from the lips alone but from the wel-liking and consent of the heart sor if it be onely a verball promise without any will at all and so meerely hypocriticall and dissembled though it bindeth the party that promiseth to the performance of his promise made before God and man
the parents and parties are to be charged in the name of God as they will answer at the day of iudgement plainly to bewray and declare if they know any of the foresaid impediments in themselues or in their children for which this Contract ought not to be made If they say they know none or if they declare none then the consent of the parents is to be demanded which if they yeeld then the consent of the parties is also to be required And so the parties are to be betrothed and affianced in these words or such like 1. N. do willingly promise to marrie thee N. if God will and I liue whensoeuer our parents shall thinke good and meete till such time I take thee for my onely betrothed wife and thereto plight thee my troth In the name of the Father the Sonne and the holy Ghost So be it The same is to be done by the woman the name onely changed and all in the presence of parents kinsfolks and friends After this the parents are to be admonished to set and appoint the day of marriage neither too neare nor too farre off but to appoint a competent space of time that it may be sufficient for the learning and triall of all lets and impediments whereby promised marriage might be hindred and yet giue no occasion by reason of the length thereof to prouoke the parties to incontinency In the meane time the parties affianced are to be admonished to abstaine from the vse of marriage and to behaue themselues wisely chastly louingly and soberly till the day appointed do come And so with a Psalme and prayer to cóclude the holy action Now that there should be a competent space betweene the time of the Contract and the day of marriage it is very necessary for these causes 1. That there might be some preparation for the things pertaining to house-keeping betweene that time and the celebrating of marriage but this is not a chiefe cause 2. Because the Lord would by this meanes make a difference betwixt brute beasts men and betwixt the prophane and his children for they euen as beasts do after a beastlike manner being led by a naturall 〈◊〉 and motion come together but God will haue this difference whereby his children should 〈◊〉 seuered from that brutish manner in that they should haue a certaine distance of time betweene the knitting of affection and enioying one of another and a more neere ioyning of one vnto another 3. That they should in that time thinke on the causes why they are to marrie and the duties of marriage For many enter thereinto not considering at all of the great duties belonging to them in the same nor thinking of the troubles and afflictions that follow marriage But the Lord would haue these things thought on and a consideration to be had both of the causes of marriage and the duties to be performed and the troubles to be vndergone A good and carefull housholder so ordereth and frameth his houshold as it may manifestly appeare that it is indeed the house of a faithfull Christian and that he himselfe is a Pastor ouer his family that he instructeth it diligently in the feare of God and keepeth it in good and godly discipline by continuall exercise of godlinesse So that in his house you shall find the chast wife the shamefaced plaine and modest wife decked without as she is within no painted nor marked thing rendring true obedience to her husband and hauing a carefull eye vpon her family seruants and children the maister father and husband the children and seruants euery one likewise in his degree employing himselfe sincerely in his dutie and office approuing his doings as before God Now like as in the mind there are such vertues as we haue before spoken of so are 〈◊〉 in it also noysome wicked vices and detractions as vngodlinesse despising of Gods word vnbeliefe idolatrie superstition ignorance churlishnesse lying falshood hypocrisie vnrighteousnesse swearing backbiting distemperance drunkennesse gluttony couetousnesse vnchastitie vnshame fastnesse misnourture rashnesse furiousnesse wantonnesse pride presumption vain-glory childing brawling and vnhandsomnesse Who so now chooseth him a wife or the a husband that is infected and tangled with such noysome vices he seeketh not a spouse 〈◊〉 she a husband for a right peaceable good honest and Christian life but an hell a painefulnesse and destruction of all expedient quiet and vertuous liuing but specially there is little good to be hoped for of him or her whereas vngodlinesse and contempt of the word remaineth For like as the feare of God draweth the whole garland of vertues with it so vngodlinesse and despising of Gods word bring all vice and abhominations yea and shutteth vp the way to amendment When these points and rules are duly and warily obserued on either part they may ioyne together and say as Laban and Bethuel said This cometh of the Lord therefore we will not speake against it Oh how happie are those in whom faith loue and godlinesse are married together before they marrie themselues For none of these carnall cloudie and whining marriages can say that godlinesse was inuited and bidden to the bridall and therefore the blessings which are promised to godlinesse do flie from them After the riches of the mind do the riches of the bodie follow next of which sort is a comely beautifull or well-fauoured body health a conuenient age c. A beautifull bodie is such a one as is of right forme and shape meete and of strength to beare children and gouerne an house euen such a one as both the man and woman can find in their hearts vnfainedly to loue aboue all other and to be content withall c. As concerning the beautie or comlinesse of the body where there is else no good property or qualitie beside Salomon saith Prou. 31. 30. Fauour is deceitfull and beautie is vanitie but the woman that feareth the Lord she shall be praised And Prou. 11. 22. As a iewell of gold in a swines snout so is a faire woman which lacketh discretion or is of vncomely behauiour and hath not wit nor gouernment to behaue her selfe For beautie is a fraile gift and a slippery and more profitable to those that behold it then to those that haue it The beautifull woman can take no great pleasure in beautie but a little as it were in a glasse and yet incontinently she forgetteth that she beheld and saw and yet it is many times both to her selfe and to them that behold her beautie a prouocation to much euill She that is faire waxeth proud of it and he that doth behold her becometh subiect vnto filthy loue But in the mind which is iudged to be the man consist the true lineaments and properties of fairenesse which entice and prouoke spirituall and heauenly loue being mixt with nothing that is shamefull either to be done or spoken And therefore there is no man so farre without wit that had not rather haue her which
is foule and hard fauoured but yet is honest and vertuous then to haue her which is faire and vnhonest and also irreligious Happie and twice happy is that man and that woman that are coupled in marriage with a godly and vertuous mate and bedfellow they are doubtlesse greatly blessed of God For house and riches are the inheritance of the fathers but a prudent wife cometh of the Lord. They therefore are not well in their wits but greatly deceiue themselues that make choycc of wiues or husbands hauing regard onely to their stature comelinesse of personage or to their beautie and esteeme not more the riches of the mind Health also must be considered in their choyce lest otherwise great inconueniences come therby and lest the whole house be poy soned and infected But we speake here of contagious sicknesses and not of such common infirmities and vsuall diseases that both men and women are subiect vnto As of madnesse frenzie french pockes or such like which euery wise man and woman doth vtterly detest Neuerthelesse where any married parties are now together and be visited with any such diseases they must one comfort and suffer with the other as they are now one bodie c. To haue temporall preferments is to be borne of noble parents or to come of a worshipfull stocke to haue lands liuings riches great offices gaines or occupyings and such like But the chiefest nobilitie and most worthy of commendation is indeed to be noble in vertues in good works manners and conditions But to be borne of gentilitie and to vse and behaue himselfe vngently is euen as much as to shame himselfe and his kindred Such therefore as purpose to marry ought carefully to foresee and looke to this matter lest being too greedie of honour worship or wealth and intending to haue the gold they catch the hot coales burne themselues without recouerie for a man may buy gold too deare as we vsually say For temporall goods sake the matter miscarieth and is in danger There is sometimes great wealth but with little honestie and with lesse good conscience it is gathered together And with the same riches will not continue alwaies prosperitie peace and quietnesse Many so trust to their wealth as that they will not frame themselues to any lawfull calling neither will they learne any Therefore also can they do nothing to profit their country and the common-wealth but liue ioly and daintily and with pride riot excesse and dishonesty do quickely wast that which hath bene long in gathering together Now when there is alwayes taking from the heape and nothing laid thereto it wasteth away in processe of time how great soeuer it hath bene then followeth pouerty yea an intollerable and vnpatient pouerty for they that now lauish and spend prodigally altogether haue had no necessity hitherto but flowed in all wealth therefore after such a Sunne-shine there commeth euer an extreame heate and thenceforth begin they to warme themselues at the bare pans and to spare when all is spent Such then as in their choise look to the multitude of goods and regard not how they were gotten and whence they came haue customably such smoky hats set vpon their heads that all the water in the riuer cannot wash away the corruption thereof For goods without God honesty and good conscience are deadly poyson and the bodily 〈◊〉 himselfe Yea goods and riches in the hand of an vndiscreete and ignorant man are as a sharpe knife in the hand of a child that doth no good therwith but wound and hurt himselfe Wherefore euery man and euery woman in their election ought to haue more respect to vertue godlinesse discretion knowledge then to riches Moreouer an hand that is occupied and winneth and getteth his liuing godly Christianly and honestly doth farre excell any riches that are 〈◊〉 For although the world esteeme them happy which liue in wealth ease and idlenesse yet the holy Ghost approueth and alloweth them best that liue of the meane profit of their labours Psal. 128. 1. 2. And this also is a very necessary point to be obserued that the man chuse such a woman and the woman such a man as that there be equality betwixt them both in bloud and estate For by how much the greater and streighter the coniunction is of the husband and the wife so much the more ought euery one to prouide to be indifferently matched And truely this equality of marriage is in two speciall things to be considered to wit estate and age For as two horses or two oxen of vnequall 〈◊〉 cannot be coupled vnder one selfe same yoake so a noble-woman matching with a man of base estate or contrarily a gentleman with a begger cannot be consorted and well matched vnder the bands of wedlocke But yet when it happeneth that a man marrieth a woman of so high a birth he ought not forgetting that he is her husband more to honour and esteeme of her then of his equall or of one of meaner parentage and not onely to account her his-companion in loue and in his life but in diuers actions of publicke apparence to hold her his superiour which honour is not yet accompanied with reuerence as is that which for manners sake we are wont to do to others And she ought to consider that no distinction or difference of birth and nobility can be so great but that the league which both Gods ordinance and nature hath ordained betwixt men and women farre exceedeth it for by nature woman was made mans subiect But if a man shall take to wife an inferior or mean-woman he also ought to weigh that matrimony maketh equall many differences and further that he hath not taken her for a slaue or seruant but for a fellow and companion of his life And seeing that election and choise is nothing else but to take a thing meete and conuenient to the end it is prepared for therefore euery one that must chuse ought to regard the end to know what thing is conuenient for it So that it is needfull that he be wise and discret or else he cannot dispose it nor perceiue what thing is conuenient for it Therefore if a man would aduisedly consider that he is to liue with his wife continually and she with him he would then be very circumspect in the choise of her which choise maketh either very much for his felicitie and comfort or else for his great miserie and discomfort For by how much the more a thing is vnited and knit vnto man so much the more it may either helpe him if it be good or hinder him if it be euill Those dammages and hurts which are inwardly in the body are worse then those which are without the body and those of the soule then those of the body and likewise men do iudge of those things which are called good But peraduenture it may seeme vnto some that these 〈◊〉 are not vniuersally true For vnto some the
all other And this doth God declare saying Let vs make Adam as helper like vnto himselfe By the helper is signified the vtilitie and profit of the seruice and by the similitude and likenesse are signified loue and helpefulnesse For a seruant and he that is hired are insufficient to supply that place there can neither be so much loue and ability to minister helpe and comfort to a man as will be found in a faithfull wife The child is part of the father and through a naturall pitie they loue each other but yet the wife is more annexed and ioyned to her husband The father doth labour and taketh paine for his children but the children seldome labor or take paines for their fathers and oftentimes are sent to inhabite and dwell in other mens houses whereby in a manner it appeareth that their streight and fast societie doth dissolue and breake but the wife cleane contrarie doth continually take paines for her husband who may as long as she liueth neither change house nor bed If commoditie and prosit be looked for no commoditie excelleth this if thou shalt loue thy wife thou shalt liue most pleasantly if not thy life will be most miserable and wretched For there is nothing so sharpe nor so bitter as to hate the thing that doth fauour and loue thee nor any thing more happy then to loue him that loueth thee Therefore loue that thou mayest be loued Now we will in few words shew the occasions of Wedlocke why and wherefore it was ordained and for what purpose it should be contracted that euery man and woman may the better vnderstand to what thing they consent when either of them granteth to marry the other Doubtlesse it cannot otherwise be but that marriage which was ordained of such an excellent author as of God himselfe and in such a worthy place as Paradise and of such an ancient time as in state of Adam and Eues innocencie and after such a notable order must likewise haue speciall causes for the ordinance of it Therefore the holy Scripture doth declare chiefly three causes thereof The first is the procreation begetting and bringing vp of children Gen. 1. 27. 28. 9. 1. For in the children do parents liue after a sort euen after death And if they be well and vertuously brought vp God is greatly honoured by them the commonwealth is aduanced yea their parents and all other fare the better for them For they are their parents comfort next vnto God their ioy staffe and vpholding of their age and therefore parents ought to begin betimes to plant vertue in their childrens breasts for late sowing bringeth sometimes a late but neuer an apt haruest yong branches will bow as a man will haue them but old trees will sooner breake then bow c. But more of this shall be said after in the dutie of Parents Although marriage be an holy and sanctified ordinance yet none may vse the benefit of it without some acknowledgement of originall sin in that vncleannesse may be practised therein which should cause Gods children to vse this meanes with as much chastitie as may be and husband and wise to keepe themselues together in the feare of God and in all modestie and sobrietie If then in marriage it selfe there be such mischiefes what hellish mischiefe is there in those lustes which are not expressed with these considerations So that marriage is not a mad and dissolute estate to giue libertie to their wiues in vncleannesse nor wiues to consent with their husbands in impuritie by immoderate intemperate or excessiue lust Many thinke they cannot sinne in this behalfe if they passe not their owne wiues but they may make their marriage polluted and defiled if they vse it without prayer and sobernesse c. 1. Tim 4. 4. 5. Therefore the husband is to forbeare the company of his wife when it is with her as it is common to women c. Ezechiel 18. 6. Leuiticus 18. 19. 24. 22 and 19. 18. This was one of the sinnes for which the Lord rooted out the Canaanites out of their land The second occasion why marriage was ordained was that the wife might be a lawfull remedy to auoide whoredome fornication and all filthy vncleane lusts 1. Cor. 7. 2. 3. c. Touching this point I will say no more for it is handled at large by others already and I haue elsewhere sufficiently discoursed of it The third and last cause was for mans commoditie to the end to auoid the inconuenience of solitarinesse that the one may helpe comfort the other in sicknesse in affiction and in all houshold cares and trouble as education of children and keeping the family in order For this cause old men and old women may lawfully marrie So that a wife is called by God himfelfe an helper and not an impediment or a necessarie euill as some vnaduisedly do say and as other some say It is better to burie a wife then to marrie one againe if we could be without women we should be without great troubles These and such like sayings tending to the dispraise of women some maliciously and vndiseretly do vomit out contrarie to the minde of the holy Ghost who saith that she was ordained as a helper and not a hinderer And if they be otherwise it is for the most part through the fault and want of discrerion and lacke of good gouernment in the husband For married folkes for two eyes haue foure and for two hands as many moe which being ioyned together they may the more easily dispatch their handy businesse and houshold affaires For like as a man hauing one hand or one foote if by any meanes he get himselfe an other may thereby the more easily lay hold on what he listeth or go whither he will euen so he that hath married a wife shall more easily enioy the healthfull pleasures and profitable commodities of this present life For in trouble the one is a comfort to the other in aduersity the one a refreshing vnto the other yea and in all their life the one is a helpe and succour to the other Most true it is that women are as men are reasonable creatures and haue flexible wits both to good and euill the which with vse discretion and good counsell may be altered and turned And although there be some euill and leude women yet that doth no more proue the malice of their nature then of men And therefore the more ridiculous and foolish are they that haue inueighed against the whole sexe for a few euill and haue not with like fury vituperated and dispraised all mankind because part of them are theeues murtherers and such like wicked liuers But the marriage and companie of the husband and wife is made amiable sweet and comfortable by these fiue meanes by godlinesse vertue 〈◊〉 forbearing mutuall loue and by dut 〈◊〉 performed busily and godlily on both sides 1. Godlinesse of right holdeth the chiefe place for there
he will trust her and so open and disclose his loue and shew her greater signes and tokens of loue and beneuolence manifesting that to be borne and nourished through the experience of her vertue and through hope to be continued and kept that in time to come she may be like her selfe and striue to ouercome herselfe with vertue As the husband ought to loue his Wife tenderly so from her as from a fountaine he must extend his loue also vnto her parents and kinsfolkes to the end that they may well know and perceiue how greatly their cousin doth aide and helpe them and that she in like manner may vnderstand that his beneuolence and loue to her is such that it redoundeth among her friends and parents and of this he shall receiue no little profit at home And seeing he loueth his wiues kinsemen for her sake how much more ought he then to loue her children that she in like case may loue his if he haue any And thus the one seeing the mutuall loue of the other they shall knit and couple themselues in good and stedfast loue vnto their liues end The duties which are to be performed of the husband and the wife are either pertaining to pietie and godlinesse or else mutuall seuerall duties concerning the parties themselues 1. The first common dutie is prayer that they pray together by themselues For as they are to pray with others in their families for things which concerne their houshold so there are certaine things which belonging to themselues are not to be mentioned in their families but priuately as namely for a godly posterity and that in the birth the childrn be comely and not monstrous in comming forth like monsters which might be a griefe vnto them or an occasion that the wicked should speake euill of the Gospell c. And further they are to pray that they may haue comfort by them in their well-carriage and good behauiour as likewise for their houshold and diuers other affaires which they cannot so commodiously pray for in their publike familie As Isaack and Rebecca besides the prayers in their house which they vsed with Abrahams family did also pray together priuatly as Gen. 25. 21. it is said Isaack prayed before his wife for so the words signifie that they might haue children 2. A second dutie of pietie is that they admonish one another As the husband is to admonish the wife and also to teach her so the wife is to admonish the husband in her place admonishing bringing sufficient reason is to be heard For euen as the maister is to counsell the seruant and likewise to heare the good counsell of his seruant as Naaman 2. King 5. 13. 14. heard his seruant which counselled him to wash in Iordan according to the saying of the Prophet so in like manner the husbands duty is to counsell and to admonish his wife yet so as when he faileth in duty he is to heare her good counsell and admonition either concerning heauenly matters or earthly affaires she notwithstanding considering her estate and condition vnder him and in humility confessing her selfe to be the weaker vessell 1. Pet. 3. 7. Their mutuall and seuerall duties pertaining to themselues are First the holy familiarity which ought to be betwixt man and wife wherby they haue a more familiar vsage one of another and do more familiarly behaue themselues in a comely sort one to another then any other parties whatsoeuer in regard whereof Abimelech king of Gerar after that Isaack had said of Rebecca his wife She is my sister seeing Isaack playing and sporting with her familiarly knowing that familiarity which ought to be betweene the husband and the wife and knowing that Isaack was a godly religious man and therefore would not vse that kind of behauiour to any other woman saue to his wife discerned thereby and concluded certainely that she was his wife howsoeuer he had denied it before Noting that a woman is not to be familiar after that sort with any other man saue her husband and contrary that the husband ought not to vse this familiaritie with any other woman which he doth with his wife And therefore Pro. 5. 19. we see that the wife should be to him as the louing Hinde namely delightfull one in whom he may delight that as the Hart delighteth in the Hinde so the wife should be a delight vnto her husband and so in like manner she ought to take delight in him 2. Againe there is another mutuall dutie pertaining to themselues to wit that neare coniunction euen in regard of their bodies for an holy procreation of children in respect whereof the Apostle saith The husband hath not power ouer his owne body but the wife c. Onely when it is with the wife as is common to women Ezech. 18. 6. or that she be sicke of her disease he is not then to haue the vse of her body c. Such as do aspire and purpose to enter into the holy estate of matrimony are to beginne in prayer and holinesse to God And hauing attained to that estate ought to vse the benefit of marriage as an holy ordinance of God in all godlinesse and puritie for a remedie against the weakenesse of the flesh and not for the prouocation and lust to intemperancie True it is that honesty of marriage grounded vpon Gods ordinance doth couer the shame of incontinencie yet not so as that married folkes should defile and pollute that holy estate by admitting all things but that they should so vse it as there might be no excesse in dissolutenesse neither any intemperancie contrarie to the holinesse thereof So that to abuse it in lasciuious excesse is fornication When God created the woman he said It is not good that man should be alone I will make him a helpe meete for him but whatsoeuer is said of the woman that she should be an helpe to the man must also be put in practise and exercised by the husband to wards his wife according to the doctrine of the Apostle Saint Paul 1. Cor. 7. whether in auoiding fornication whether in procuring generation and the education and bringing vp of children whether in maintaining a family or for the seruice of God and saluation of soules Hereby it euidently appeareth that the dutie common both to the husband and wife importeth that the one should aide and helpe the other First that they may leade their lines in chastitie and holinesse Next to auoide fornication So that the dutie of the husband and the wife consisteth in this that they liue together in all chastitie and purenesse and that they take great heed and beware of breaking the bond and infringing and violating the saith of marriage by fornication or adulterie which is a detestable sinne in the sight both of God and man If such as wanting the remedy of marriage by committing fornication do incurre an offence worthy euerlasting damnation what may those deserue who hauing
a remedy for their infirmity do neuerthelesse ouerflow in adulterie Yet it is not enough onely to abstaine from this abhomination vnlesse we also forbeare from euery thing that may seeme to tend thereunto or to continue any beginning apparence allurement or occasion of euill First because that by the Law all this is forbidden euen in these expresse words Thou shalt not commit adultery For the word adulterie comprehendeth all prouocations gestures specches yea euen vnchast lookes And therefore saith Iesus Christ He that looketh vpon another mans wife to lust after her bath alreadie committed adulterie with her in his heart Next that we preuent all occasions of iealousie a most dangerous disease and of great difficultie to cure For where either the husband or the wife is tainted with iealousie they belecue euery word that they heare spoken touching their passion albeit it beare no apparence of truth And therefore Christian husbands and wiues must so beare themselues that they incurre no suspition of enill but rather they ought to practise this as wel to auoide occasion of offence as for feare lest iealousie should conuert marriage into a most miserable and wretched estate The care and burthen to maintaine their family is common to them both yet so as properly the husband is to get it and to bring it in and the wife to order and dispose it Howbeit the dutie of the wife or of the husband doth not so exempt either of them but that she also according to her ability and power must helpe her husband to get it and he likewise in his discretion direct her in the dispensation thereof He that doth not orderly gouerne his house shall inherite the winde saith Salomon And order consisteth in this that the husband follow his businesse traffique or calling without any molestation of the wife who ought not to meddle or controle him therein but with great discretion and gentlenesse as also the husband is not to deale but soberly and in great discretion with affaires that are proper to the wife The man is iealous of his authority and reputation and the woman inclined to respect her selfe to be despised Wherefore as the husband cannot well abide that his wife should shew her selfe more skilfull and wise in his businesse then himselfe so cannot the wife suffer that her husband should despise and account her a foole by medling with her small houshold affaires As the dutie therefore of the husband and wife consisteth in looking to that which is aforesaid to the end their marriage may be quiet themselues liue together in loue euen so an idle and vnthrifty husband and a prodigall and slothfull wife are two ready wayes to destruction The husband that hath such a wife casteth his labours into a bottomles sacke and the wife that is matched with such a husband draweth a cart heauy loden through a sandy way without a horse Such a husband especially if idlenesse draw him to loue and haunt ale-houses and tauernes is cruell to his wife and children and such a wife confounds her husband and bringeth reproach and pouertie to her whole family The remedy for the husband that hath such a wife is patience with discret admonition and prayer to God as also the helpe for the wife that hath such a husband is tolleration gentle exhortation and cheerefull and louing entertainment of her husband whereby to enduce him willingly to keepe home They are also to be mutuall helpers each to other in matters concerning their owne saluation and the seruice of God First if one of them as saith the Apostle be an vnbeleeuer the other must labour to draw his partie to the knowledge of the truth Saint Paul exhorting the husband and wife of contrary religions not to part but to dwell together addeth a notable reason saying What knowest thou ó man whether thou shalt saue thy selfe or thou ô woman whether thou shalt saue thy husband therein declaring that the faithfull person in duty is to labour and endeuour to winne his party to the knowledge of truth and so to saue her Saint ' Peter exhorteth wiues to be subiect to their husbands albeit vnbeleeuers and such as ' obey not the word that so without speech by their holy and vertuous conuersation they may 〈◊〉 them Secondly if both be beleeuers their duty is to confirme and strengthen each other in the time of persecution that they constantly follow Iesus Christ. They are also each to helpe and comfort other if either of them happen to fall into any fault or sinne They ought also each to perswade other to charitie to releeue the poore diligently to frequent Sermons to vse prayers and supplications and praise and thanksgiuing to the Lord to comfort each other in the time of affictions to be short either to exhort other to walke in the feare of God and in all duties and exercises beseeming the children of God In this manner did that holy woman Elizeus hostesse exhort her husband to prepare a chamber for the Prophet to lodge in Saint Paul also saith that women desirous to learne should question with their husbands at home Wherby he sheweth that the husband ought to be so instructed as that he may be ready to instruct his wife at home And therefore the husband after the example of the Bee should euery where gather euery good instruction that he might be able to impart it to his wife and by hauing a communication acquaint her therewith There are other duties which be common both to the husband and the wife as among the rest such as proceed of the vnion coniunction of marriage whereof it is said They are one slesh Gen. 2. 24. Matth. 19. 5. And of this vnion proceedeth the mutuall loue betwixt them For no man saith the Apostle hateth his owne flesh but loueth and cherisheth it But for as much as the foundation of this mutuall loue is the vnitie of marriage whereby the husband and the wife are made one flesh the husband as the head the wife as the bodie it followeth that this loue must be stedfast not variable and that the vnion of marriage continue notwithstanding whatsoeuer befall either the husband or the wife Notwithstanding whatsoeuer complexions we say natures and infirmities may appeare whatsoeuer sicknesse losse of goods iniuries griefes or other inconueniences that may arise yet so long as the foundation of loue that is the vnion of marriage doth continue so long must loue and affection remaine God commandeth vs to loue our neighbours as our selues because they be of our flesh Albeit therefore that he contemne hate offend or wrong vs albeit he be our enemie and in respect of himselfe deserueth not that we should loue him yet because he is of our flesh the foundation of loue remaining we must loue him How much rather ought they to put this in practise who by the bond of marriage are made one flesh the rather because the vnion betweene man and wife is
Thirdly that they be vnto their children examples of all godlinesse and vertue Fourthly that they keep them from idlenesse the mother of all mischiefes and bring them vp either in learning or in some good art or occupation whereby they may get their liuing with honestie and truth when they shall come to age and yeares of discretion 1. Touching the first point Parents are to be admonished that they beare in minde that the cause why the Lord hath blessed them with children is First that they should be carefull to see that their children be so vertuously brought vp that they may become Citizens of the Church of God so that whensoeuer they themselues shall die in the Lord they may leaue their children true worshippers of God in their place But alasse there be few that haue any great care of this dutie It is to be remembred that it is the fathers dutie with all conuenient speed to present the child to baptisme and there to giue the name vnto his child as may appeare by the example Luke 1. 3. Gen. 21. 3. And it were a thing to be wished that all parents when and at such time as God blesseth them with children would giue them such names as are named and commended vnto vs in the holy Scriptures to the end that when they come to yeares of discretion they by hearing those names may be excited and moued to follow the vertuous life and Christian conuersation of those men and women whose names they beare which the holy Ghost hath commended them for and contrariwise to 〈◊〉 and auoide those faults and vices which are discommended in them And yet we haue to remember that those children which are named and called by and after any of the names of the 〈◊〉 Prophets Apostles or by the name of any other Saint man or woman are not any thing the better because they haue such godly and Christian names vnlesse that they do imitate and follow them in faith vertue and godly behauiour so on the other side they that be not called by such Christian names as are mentioned in the sacred Scripture are not in respect of their names any thing the worse hauing an assured faith in the merits of Christ his death passion and bloud shedding and leading their liues agreeable to the same For as neither the reuenues nor the glorious titles and names of ancestors 〈◊〉 descend of noble parentage maketh men noble and renowned indeed vnlesse they themselues be godly honest and wise so neither the godly names no nor yet the faith and vertue of the fathers auaileth the wicked and vngodly children any thing at all vnlesse they repent and become faithfull and godly as they were Let vs here consider that so often as in the race of our life we do heare or do speake of our name it doth put vs in remembrance first of Gods mercie shewed vnto vs in our baptisine secondly of our promise to God againe And as in times amongst our ancestors Infants had their names giuen them when they were circumcised as appeateth in Luke no doubt to this end that the circumcised should be admonished by the calling by their names at what time and place they had their names giuen them and would thinke that they are written in the number of the children of God and ioyned in league with him and made partakers of his couenant so likewise after the same manner must we that haue had our names giuen vs in baptisme remember and beare in minde that we are by grace adopted to be the sonnes of God and receiued into his fauour and therefore that we are Gods owne and as it were his goods and riches who beare his name as proper vnto him 2. Secondly they may assure themselues that all their labour is lost which they bestow vpon their children vnlesse they bring them vp in the feare of God and oftentimes call vpon Gods helpe by earnest prayer that he in mercy would vouthsafe to preserue them from the manifold snares subtilties and temptations of Sathan which their tender age is subiect vnto We may heare many parents complaine of the disobedience of their children but they do not marke and consider that they are iustly punished by God for that they thinke by their own industrie and wit to make them good and vertuous without Gods blessing which they seldome or neuer call for in good earnest 3. Thirdly let them consider how noble a thing a child is whom God himself hath shaped and formed in his mothers wombe nourished brought forth into the light and indued with body and soule to the end he should as it were in a table represent God hîs first patterne 4. Fourthly let them know that these things are to be dealt with all in order Vnto the body they owe nourishment bringing vp apparell and sometimes correction that they may keepe children in awe Vnto the soule they owe catechising instruction and doctrine and that of two sorts namely of godlinesse and of ciuilitie By the one they shall keepe a good conscience before God by the other they shall obtaine a good report among men For these are the two principall points which parēts ought to be most carefull to plant in this life in their children both which the Apostle comprehendeth in one verse where he saith Ephes. 1. 4. Ye fathers prouoke not your children to wrath but bring them vp in instruction and information of the Lord. And therefore all parents are diligently to instruct and teach their children the first principles of Christ his Religion so soone as by age they are able to perceiue and vnderstand the same that they may as it were suck in godlinesse together with their mothers milke and straight-wayes after their cradle may be nourished with the tender foode of vertue towards that blessed life To haue godly children no doubt is the greatest treasure that may be For in the children do the parents liue in a manner after their death And if they be well instructed catechised and vertuously brought vp God is honoured by them the Common-wealth is aduanced yea their parents and all other fare the better for them They are their parents comfort next vnto God their ioy staffe and vpholding of their age and therefore parents ought to begin betimes to plant vertue in their childrens breasts for late sowing bringeth a late or neuer apt haruest Young branches will bow as a man will haue them but old trees will sooner breake then bow And therefore as arrowes are an excellent weapon of defence to a strong and a mightie man that can shoot them with courage euen so children godly brought vp are a speciall protection and defence to their parents And as the strong mans quiuer the better it is furnished with chosen shaftes the better defence he hath so likewise the more godly children their parents haue the greater is their ioy and happinesie Yea and further as arrowes are at the commandement
euen in their life time to see them go to hell for want of instruction Some charge their children to be dull witted and hard to be bowed or brought to any goodnesse or vertue Albeit naturall inclination be a great helpe to profiting yet exercise and custome to do well is a mightie meanes to bend and sharpe them that way yea euen such that by experience we find this old Prouerbe true Vse ouer cometh nature as the wheelewright doth by strength bow his timber and letting it lie long in that bent it bideth crooked Barren ground well tilled soyled and sowen with good seed groweth fruitfull and yeeldeth good increase iron weareth with handling the water by continuall dropping weareth the stone wilde beasts may be tamed and wilde colts by custome are brought to the saddle and are content to be led by the bridle euen so the dullest capacities may by instruction and custome be fashioned to vertue As contrariwise the wiz most inclined by nature to vertue may by bad instruction and the conuersation of the wicked be peruerted and grow vicious Parents therefore are herein to respect two points first to begin to frame and bend their children in their tender youth to vertue remēbring that a seale entreth deepest into softest waxe They must be carefull that they do not speake or tell any foolish tales baudie rimes or vngodly speeches before their children lest they infect their tender wits with follie and astonishment Experience sheweth that children will sooner learne any language by conuersation then elder folkes Also that the yonger the twig is the sooner it is bent or made straight Secondly it is the parents dutie to restraine their children from haunting and conuersing with such as be vicious peruerse and wicked And vndoubtedly we see that they do soone learne villanous and vnseemely speeches and malicious lewd actions with their corruptions and as the old Prouerbe saith halting with the lame they shall learne to halt A child that naturally speaketh wel by conuersing with such as corrupt their speech shall degenerate and speake as badly Tye a yong twig that is crooked with a straight one that is stronger then it and in growing it will become straight and so continue when it is vndone And contrariwise a straight one tyed to that which is crooked and stronger then it selfe will grow and continue crooked Moreouer parents when they meane to put forth their children to any trade or occupation or to learning then they ought carefully to see and enquire whether such as they thinke to place them withall be religious and vertuous and endued with the feare of God In the admittance of a seruant the feare of some temporall or carnall inconuenience causeth men to enquire of his or her truth honestie or other qualities Therefore if parents shall commit their child to the ordering and instruction of a maister before they make enquirie of his honestie and Christian conuersation they plainely shew that they haue lesse care of the corrupting or infecting of their child with vice then of some small inconuenience that might happen by an vnhonest and vnthriftie seruant When men buy an earthen pot they sound vpon it to see whether it be broken lest they should be deceiued in a small peece of monie yet do they not sound whether the maister to whom they commit their child be vicious or vertuous albeit by putting and placing him with one that is vicious and irreligious they put him in danger of losse both of body and soule Some do respect their friendship with some maisters rather then their vertue and so do commit to them their children lest they should be angrie for putting them to another These men do resemble and be like him who being dangerously sicke vseth the aduise of an ignorant Physition that is his kinsman or familiar friend for feare he should take offence if he should call another albeit without comparison more learned and skilfull If thou shouldest liaue any weightie matter in law wouldest thou rather commit thy cause to an ignorant and negligent atturney because he is thy friend then to him that were both diligent and learned Making a voyage through some dangerous sea wouldest thou in a tempest commit thy ship to a young Pilot vnskilfull or drunke because he is thy friend What a foole art thou that wilt not take the like care of the profit honour safetie and saluation of thy childe Others commit their children either to him that will take them at the easiest rate or by whom they may grow into greatest aduancement in the world but neuer respect the hazard of their child so they may either spare or get worldly goods Let them also be carefull to restraine their children from vice and to inure and accustome them to vertue and indeed the fathers that instruct or cause their children to be instructed do far excell such as onely do beget them for of these they 〈◊〉 life onely of the other good and vertuous life Yet parents ought not so much to relie and rest vpon the diligence of their childrens maisters as neuer to care to vnderstand how they profit and go forward in learning and vertue for the regard of such diligence would make the maisters more carefully to discharge their duties And thereof came the Prouerbe The maisters eye fatteth the horse and this The maisters eye is the fruitfulnesse of the garden Vpon these sinnes ensue many punishments both ghostly and bodily as well in the parents as in the children yea and in all the posteritie The holy Scripture giueth great commendation to sundry men and women for their godly education and vertuous bringing vp of their children as to Abraham for he commanded his sonnes and his houshold to keepe the way of the Lord. So Dauid counselled his sonne 〈◊〉 to serue God with a perfect heart and a willing mind It is said also of Cornelius that he feared God and all his houshold Likewise of Eunice the mother of Timothie that she nourished vp her sonne in the words of faith and good doctrine For where a vertuous and godly childhood goeth before there a godly and vertuous age followeth after Contrariwise when the parents are not carefull to teach their children to know God and to know themselues when they do not breed them vp in vertue nor reproue them when they do amisse they then become corrupt in their vnderstanding and abhominable in their doing ignorant and voide of all knowledge and grace and of reuerence or feeling of nature If parents be desirous to haue their children vertuous and honest indeed as in conscience they ought then they must be diligent and carefull to practise godlinesse honesty themselues For we see by experience according to the common Prouerbe As the old cocke croweth the yong learneth such a father such a sonne such a mother such a daughter For like as when the head is well and sound and also the stomacke pure from hurtfull humours
see two speciall causes why some parents do more negligently prouide that their children be instructed to wit too much cockering and niggardship In cockering mothers do more often offend and specially those that haue but few children These do like as if some husband-man should refuse to till his field because he hath but one onely Who could suffer this mans follie and peruersenesse of iudgement Is it not much more to be tilled because it is onely one Yes verily that so the profit and increase of one may recompence the want of many Euen so after the same sort we may iudge it to be the dutie of mothers so much more diligently to bring vp their children by how much they are fewer But we see what doth let mothers that they loue their children more dearely then that they can suffer them to be an houre out of their sight but this is cruell loue so to loue their children that they should be as it were giuen ouer of their mothers vnto all naughtinesse of which peruerse and cruell loue not a few shall suffer the iust punishment which with great griefe of mind and with teares shall be compelled to see the vnbrideled wantonnesse and vngraciousnesse of their children vnto which they do now all too late go about to prouide a remedie On the other side niggardship is oftentimes greater then that parents will 〈◊〉 the cost Whatsoeuer is spent vpon horse-keepers or horse-breakers fooles minstrels dogs hawkes c that some thinke well bestowed but if they see any thing to be spent about instructing their children they thinke all ill bestowed and are much more carefull that an horse be well framed to vauting leaping then that their child be well instructed to vertue This inconuenience cometh to the minds of children if they be not well brought vp that they become seruile and lie open to all sin and naughtinesse For if a man leaue his field vntilled he shall find it to haue brought forth fearne and thystles and such vnprofitable weeds after the same sort if he shall leaue the wits of his children vnlooked vnto and vnexercised he shall be sure to reape most abundant fruite of wantonnesse and vngraciousnesse The holy Ghost speaking in the Scriptures of foolish sonnes as that he that begetteth such a one getteth himselfe sorrow and that the father of a foole hath no ioy Prou. 17. 21. he meaneth it not so much of naturall fooles or idiots and such as are destitute of common reason although it is true that is a lamentable iudgement of God and a heauinesse to the parents of such a child as of wicked children such as either are ignorant in the word or not knowing how to order one right step to the kingdome of God or else hauing some knowledge abuse it to maintaine their carnall lusts and appetite For in this case as it would grieue parents to haue naturall fooles to their children or such as either in some imperfection of nature are dismembred or deformed and misfigured in the parts of their bodie euen so much more should it grieue them to haue such children as either for want of knowledge and heauenly wisedome cannot walke in the feare of God or abusing the knowledge giuen them prostitute and giue themselues to all sinne and wickednesse It is maruellous how greatly parents can bewaile the want of one naturall gift proceeding of some imperfection and how easily they can passe ouer without any griefe the want of all spiriruall graces springing from corrupt education In like manner it is strange that men can take the matter so heauily when their children breake into such offences as either haue open shame or ciuill punishments following them and yet can make no bones but passe ouer such sinnes as are against the maiestie of God accompanied with euerlasting confusion vnspeakable torments Wherein what doth the most part of men bewray but their great hypocrisie in that neither their ioy nor their griefe is sound to their children and that they loue themselues more in their children then either their saluation or the glorie of God the tender loue and care whereof no doubt did increase the sorrow of Dauid for the death of his sonne Absolon who was not so much grieued for the losse of a sonne as for that vntimely end of his sonne to whom the time of repentance for his saluation and the glorie of God was denyed which haply if he had liued his father Dauid might haue reioyced in Let parents therefore learne to correct their affections to their children and be grieued for ignorance impietie and sinnes whereof either their carnall copulation the not lamenting of their naturall corruption the want of prayer and holy seede or prophane education armed with the wrath of God may be a most iust occasion Can parents hope for a holy posteritie or do they maruell if the Lord crosie them in the children of their bodies when they make as bold and brutish an entrance into that holy ordinance of the Lord as is the meeting of the neighing horse with his mate when being ioyued in that honourable estate of matrimonie either as meete naturall men without all knowledge of God they beget their children or as too carnall men without the feare reuerence of the Lord neither bewailing their corruptions which they receiued of their ancestry nor praying against their infirmities which may descend to their posteritie they abuse the marriage bed Lastly when hauing receiued the fruite of the wombe they haue no care by good and vertuous bringing vp to offer it to the Lord that their child by carnall generation may be the child of God by spirituall regeneration Surely no and yet men looking vp to God his prouidence and secret counsell without all bethinking themselues of their corrupt generation from which their children are descended without all looking back into their wicked and godlesse bringing of them vp will fret against their sinnes fume against their children yea often they will correct them and that to serue their owne corruptions not so much grieued for that they haue sinned against God as that they haue offended them Christians therefore must know that when men and women raging with boyling lust meete together as bruite beasts hauing no other respect then to satisfie their owne carnall concupiscence when they make no conscience to sanctifie the marriage bed with prayer when they haue no care to increase the Church of Christ and the number of the elect it is the iust iudgement of God to send them either monsters or naturall fooles or else such as hauing good gifts of the mind and well proportioned bodies are most wicked gracelesse and prophane persons Againe on the contrary we shall find in the word of God that noble and notable men commended vnto vs for rare examples of vertue and godlinesse were children asked and obtained of God by prayer Our first parents Adam and Eue being humbled after the birth of their
wicked sonne Caine obtained a righteous Abel of whom when by his bloudie brother they were bereft they receiued that holy man Seth. Abraham be getting in the flesh had a cursed sonne Ismael but waiting by faith for the accomplishment of God his couenant he obtained a blessed Isaack Iacob not content with one wife according to the ordinance of God was punished in his children yet afterward being humbled he receiued faithfull Ioseph Elkanah and Hannah praying and beinst cast downe had a Samuel that did minister before the Lord. Dauid and Bethsheba lamenting their sins obtained Salomon a man of excellent wisedome Zacharias and Elizabeth fearing the Lord receiued Iohn the Baptist a fore-runner of Christ. Looke what sinnes parents haue receiued naturally without God his great blessing without prayer and humbling themselues they shall conuey them to their posteritie And although the Lord granteth sometimes ciuill gifts vnto the children of naturall and carnall men yet for the most part they receiue their naturall sinne But if the children of God by regeneration do see into themselues and lament their sinnes of generation praying that their naturall corruptions may be preuented in their posterities they shall see the great mercies of God in some measure freeing their children from the same Now when thou shalt see such sinnes to be in thy children enter into thine owne heart examine thy selfe whether they are not come from thee Consider how iustly the hand of God may be vpon thee and when thou wouldest be angry with thy childe haue an holy anger with thy selfe and vse this and such like meditation with thine owne soule Lord shall I thus punish mine owne sinne and that in mine owne childe shall I thus persecute the corruptions of my ancestors Nay I see ô Lord and proue that thou art displeased with me for the too carnall conception of my childe I lay then in some sinne I asked it not of thee by prayer be mercifull vnto me ô Lord and in thy good time shew some pittie vpon my child Thus thinking thou goest about to correct nature in thy childe which he could not helpe arming thy selfe with prayer repenting with Iacob thou shalt be so affected as desirous to draw thy child out of sin yet with the mildest meanes and least rigor And one thing is most wonderfull that some will teach their children to speake corruptly and do wickedly whilest they are young and yet beate them for it when they are old Againe some will imbolden their little ones to practise iniquitie towards others which when by the iust iudgement of God they afterwards exercise towards the parents themselues they are corrected for it And yet reason with these and such like men for the euill education of their children and they will answer Do not we as much as is of vs required we send our children to the Church to be instructed of the Pastor and to the schoole to be taught of the maister if they learne it will be the better for them if not they haue the more to answer for what can we do more But remember ô man consider ô woman whosoeuer thus speaketh that for sinnes sake and the want of prayer there may be a plague vpon the Pastors paines and a curse vpon the teachers trauell If parents therefore would haue their children blessed at the Church and at the schoole let them beware they giue their children no corrupt example at home by any carelesnesse prophanenesse or vngodlinesse for when examples are set before childrens eyes they are easily led away to that which is euill otherwise parents will do them more harme at home then both Pastor and schoole-maister can do good abroad For the corrupt example of the one fighteth with the good doctrine of the other which is so much the more dangerous because that corrupt walking is armed with nature therefore more forcibly inclineth the affections of children to that side And further experience teacheth vs that children like or mislike more by countenance gesture and behauiour then by any rule doctrine or precept whatsoeuer Some there be that will not haue their children taught vntill they be ten or twelue yeares old because as they say at that age they haue but an apish imitation To whom we answer that although they cannot then deepely discerne nor profoundly conceiue things yet how many things before these yeares will they both receiue and remember And we demand if children be apish in imitation and following that whilst they be young which they will haue the habit qualitie or propertie of when they be old may they not much better do apishly good whiles they are young which they may carefully do when they are old Besides let them go so vntaught and they will grow so head-strong that they will sooner be broken then bended sure it is that one stripe or two words will do more good to a child in time then an hundred stripes afterward And here let parents be admonished of their vndiscreet correction who do their children more harme in shewing a merrie countenance after their discipline vsed then they do good by their chastisement of them whiles they do correct them Neither do we purpose to take away naturall affection and a Christian kind of compassion in all our censures for it is our great complaint of the brutish vnmercifulnesse of many parents here but we would wish Christians to correct their vndiscreet affections herein by heauenly wisedome Neither are we so Stoicall as to deny a more milde and affable kind of speech to be lawfully and conueniently vsed to children and yet we wish it to be voyd of all vnseemely lenitie and without all shew of foolish vaine and vnnecessary behauiour To be briefe how needfull houshold gouernment is towards children may appeare by the slender thriuing and small profiting either of religion or vertue either in the Church or Common-wealth Speake men of discipline neuer so much complaine they of the want of Church gouernment neuer so lowd preach they teach they neuer so much abroad vnlesse they will begin discipline in reforming their houses giue religion some roome at home they shall trauell much and profit little And surely if men be carefull to reforme themselues first and then their families if their charge be greater then their circuites and prouinces wherein the Lord hath placed them it were the best way to moue the Lord to bestow reformation discipline on his Church among vs and of all meanes that now may be hoped for this seemeth best for of particular persons come families of families townes of townes prouinces of prouinces realmes so that conueying discipline thus from one to another in time and that shortly it would come into the Church Well we say let there be neuer so good lawes in Cities neuer so pure order in Churches if there be no practise at home if fathers of families vse not doctrine and discipline in their houses and ioyne their
prouision according to their degrees for the reliefe and maintenance of their children and familie And therefore such fathers and mothers as consume and wast away their money and substance vnthriftily by dycing carding gaming or by any other indirect and vnlawfull meanes whereby their children and familie should be maintained do very vnnaturally sin and breake Gods Commandements The Wiseman sheweth parents when is the best time to sow the seed of vertue in their children that it may bring forth the fruite of life and make them alwayes readie to die saying Eccles. 12. 1. Remember now saith he thy Creator in the dayes of thy youth As if he should say Be mindfull and thinke on God in thy youth and do not prolong or deferre it vntill age And so all their life shall runne in a line the middle like the beginning and the end like the middle as the Sunne setteth against the place where it arose One of the principallest duties that belong to parents towards their children is that they be very wary and carefull that their sonnes and daughters do not match in marriage with such as are vngodly wicked and voyde of true religion Which if they do they endanger the faith of their children and so commit a grieuous sinne For proofe whereof let vs consider first what marriage is and how nigh a coniunction the Lord hath made it He made the woman of the mans nature flesh of his flesh and bone of his bones So that we may not imagine that that God which required so neare a coniunction in the outward and inferiour part will suffer the minde and spirit of the husband and wife betweene faith and superstition to be rent asunder Therefore when God said They shall be two in one flesh we may not thinke but that he spake it of the whole and perfect creature made of bodie and soule that they should be of two one or that God did by so holy a Law set free the holiest part requiring onely such agreement in the flesh and bodie and leaue the soule and spirit in dissention For as God gaue vnto both one name as touching their earthly nature signifying their vnitie and called them Adam Genesis 5. 2. so he gaue vnto them a likenesse in name as they were ioyned in marriage to signifie their agreement in minde and spirit and called the one man and the other woman Genesis 2. 22. 23. Yea he gaue vnto marriage this especiall priuiledge For this cause shall a man leaue his father and his mother and shall cleaue to his wife and they shall be one flesh but it could neuer be that any vniting onely of flesh and bloud should haue found a dispensation from the Law that bindeth minde and conscience Honour thy father and thy mother Exod. 20. 12. The holy and faithfull bond of marriage betweene man and wife is commended to vs by that most holy coniunction of Christ with his Church Ephes. 5. 2. Seeing that this is a coniunction both of bodie and soule then such as are Christian parents ought to be carefull that their children may reioyce in it howsoeuer it liketh others to marrie their children yet they ought to see that their children do settle themselues that they may knit their minds in religion where they make their bodies one that so their marriage may be to them as a looking-glasse to view and behold the loue of Christ. S. Paul giueth this generall rule to all that wil marrie that they marrie onely in the Lord and to marrie only in the Lord is not to be led by flesh and bloud with fauour credite honour friendship riches or beautie but rather it is to marrie religiously in the feare of God in the fellowship of the Church of Christ where true Christians liue by one faith professe one religion and serue one God Now let vs a little call to our remembrance what fruit such vnequal mariages haue brought forth from the beginning The sonnes of God saw the daughters of men that they were faire and they tooke them wiues of all that they liked This aduenturous marriage in a strange religion did so infect the world that all flesh had corrupted his wayes For this cause God gaue this plaine and expresse Law vnto the people of Israel as touching all the inhabitants of the land of Canaan Thou shalt not giue thy daughters vnto his sonnes Deut. 7. 2. 3. 4. Exod. 34. 16. Surely they will turne away thy heart 1. Kings 11. 2. Ezra 9. 1. 2. c. and 10. 18. 19. Reade the places We may not here thinke that this inhibition serueth not now 〈◊〉 ys as touching Pagans Turks or Infidels but rather we must assure our seiues in the truth and know that no people in the world are more within the compasse of this law then the Papists and superstitious idolaters The holy Ghost forbiddeth vs to keepe company with Idolaters and such as are of a strange religion and how can he then permit that we should marrie with them He commandeth streightly that we should not draw in one yoke with the vnbeleeuing 2. Cor. 6. 14. which to do is as vnseemely as an Oxe and an Asse to be yoked together to plough Deut. 22. 10. And how can we possibly deuise to violate and breake this commandement more contumeliously then to yoke our selues in marriage with the vnfaithfull We are charged To offer vp our bodies a liuely a holy and a reasonable sacrifice vnto God Rom. 12. 1. But if we shall giue our bodies to Papists we then shall make them one flesh with the Papists and then we may be sure that no corrupt sacrifice can be a sweete smelling sacrifice vnto the Lord our God Here godly parents ought then aduisedly to consider that the strengthening and constant standing in religion of their children is onely of God and from God and not of themselues and therefore although they haue brought vp their children religiously and vertuously and thinke they are so well grounded and setled therein that they cannot be remoued drawne from their sound profession yet they must beware that they do not tempt God and venture their children to walke in that way which so many haue fallen in How can they assure themselues that their children shall abide constant and stand vpright if they shall consent that they may couple themselues in marriage with Papists Sampson was borne by Gods promise consecrated to the Lord from the day of his birth to the day of his death made a Iudge of Israel a deliuerer of Gods Church and a reuenger of his enemies very great and especiall tokens of the grace of God in him that it should be continued yet when he would attempt to marry one of a strange religion he lost his honour and became a laughing-stocke vnto the enemies of God Iudges the fourteenth Chapter and first verse c. and 16. 4. 17. 18. c. Salomon was a
wise man as euer was any before him or after him God hath endued him with heauenly gifts and had set him vp as a figure of his Sonne Christ yet when he had married with Pharaohs daughter and others of an other religion and strangers from the commonwealth of Israell he then fell from worse to worse till at the last he fell to miserable idolatrie 1. King 11. 4. What was the cause that Ahab king of Israell did worse then all the kings before him a man euen sold to worke wickednesse in the sight of the Lord aboue all his idolatries and walking in the most wretched wayes of Ieroboam the Scripture layeth this to his charge euen as his greatest 〈◊〉 that he tooke the daughter of the king of the Sydonians to his wife 1. King 16. 29. 30. 31. 23. 33. And lest such parents as either haue or hereafter shall marrie their children to Papists should thinke their case to be better then his because though they marry them to Papists or to Atheists yet they do not marry them to any Pagans let them consider what the Scripture teacheth them more Iehoram King of Iudah married neither with anie Sydonian nor AEgyptian neither with Pagan nor Infidell but with one of his owne people and of the Tribe of Israell yet because she had corrupted her religion in her fathers house the Scripture sheweth this to to be the cause of all Iehorams sinne He did euill in the sight of the Lord because the daughter of Ahab was his wife 2. Kings 1. 18. Yea the Scripture maketh this sinne so great that Iehosaphat a good King was yet defiled with it and it is reported as a great blemish of his vertuous doings that euer he suffered his sonne Iehoram so dangerously to marrie 2. Chron. 1. 18. When God would blame the idolatrie of his people of Israel shewing both how greatly he did hate it and what plagues he would bring vpon them for it he reuealed it vnto the Prophet 〈◊〉 this parable bidding him take vnto himselfe a wife of fornications that is a wife full of spirituall whoredomes such a one as a papist is that in such a marriage as in a glasse he might behold how lothsome the peoples idolatries were Hos. 1. 2. c. Parents haue further to remember that they haue not this rule and authoritie ouer their children that they may chuse whether they will let them marrie or no or when they list and whom they list but fathers and mothers must consider that they haue rule ouer their children vnder the Lord so that the Lord is aboue them and therefore parents must deale with their children according to the will and minde of God which will of God is reuealed vnto vs out of his word Now God by his Apostle saith To auoide fornication let euery man haue his owne wife and let euery woman haue her owne husband Whereby all parents may see that God commaundeth them to permit and suffer euery one to marrie that is disposed to marrie Now if they may not forbid any man or woman to marrie much lesse their owne children whom if they suffer not to marrie not hauing the gift of continencie then they breake and resist Gods ordinance For we reade that when Isaack forbad his sonne Iacob to marrie any of the daughters of Canaan he did not restraine him altogether from marriage and therefore he directed him where and with whom he should marrie Likewise the parents of Sampson when he asked a wife of them did not simply forbid him to marrie but they reproued him for because he would marrie an Insidell and a prophane woman Therefore such parents as be godly will haue aduised consideration and regard of the infirmities of their children and whether they can liue continent and chast or no and if they shall make choise and haue a good liking to such as be honest religious and godly hauing craued their parents consent although they be not so rich and wealthie as they would wish them to matc h with yet they ought not to hinder 〈◊〉 and forbid their children to marrie onely for want of goods and substance Parents ought to be carefull that their children do marrie in such an age wherein they should vnderstand whom they choose and very well perceiue what they take in hand and that they do not seeke to match themselues in marriage aboue their degree And it is very expedient that parents admonish their children to make their choise according to their complexion and condition This is a most vnnaturall and cruell part for parents to sell their children for gaine and luker and to marrie them when they list and to whom they list without the good liking of their children and so bring them into bondage And therefore if parents shal force and compell their children to marrie contrarie to their minde and liking then the sorrowfull children may not say they haue married them but for euer they haue marred and vndone them And therefore to the end that marriages may be perpetuall louing and delightfull betwixt the parties there must and ought to be a knitting of hearts before striking of hands The places of Scripture are many and diuerse by which it may plainely appeare that all godly and Christian parents are charged by God himselfe that they should be carefull in time to make meete choise of husbands for their daughters and fit wiues for their sonnes amongst many these quotations do sufficiently proue it Deut. 7. 3. Nehemia 13. 23. 24. Ierem. 29. 6. 1. Corinth 7. 36. 37. 38. Genesis 24. 10. c and 28. 1. 2. and 4. 4. and 38. 6. 8. Iosua 15. 16. 17. 2. Samuel 13. 23. Iudges 14. 1. c. Let fathers and mothers therefore on whom this charge by God his Commandement lyeth to take wiues for their sonnes and to prouide husbands for their daughters take diligent heed hereunto that they abuse not their power and authoritie ouer their children but as in other cases they are willed by the Apostle that they deale not in such sort to wards them that they thereby be dismayed discouraged so especially in this matter of greatest moment and value of all other worldly things whatsoeuer let them abstaine from all rigour and roughnesse and beware that they turne not their fatherly iurisdiction and gouernment into a tyrannicall sowrenesse and waywardnesse letting their will go for a law and their pleasure for a reason For the rule of parents ouer their children ought to resemble the gouernment of good Princes towards their subiects that is to say it must be milde gentle and easie to be borne For as they so likewise parents so farre as concerneth them and lyeth in their abilitie to performe must carrie such an euen and vpright hand in their gouernment that they may by loue seeke to winne the hearts of those ouer whom they are set to be firme and sure towards them and not to
his fathers shame But so odious was this impietie in the sight of God that Noah by the conduct and direction of the holy Ghost cursed both him and all his 〈◊〉 And therefore we well and truly may say that those children who in stead of defending the honor of their parents do lay them open to shame and reproofe do come of the cursed seed of Ham. This dutie of honouring parents is performed and payed when they do worshipfully and reuerently esteeme of them as to thinke that they are giuen to them of God to the end that they should reuerence loue and alwayes haue a care of them if for nothing else yet for the Lords sake who is and doth thinke himselfe despised so long as the children condemne their parents and little regard them So the children honour their parents when with their helpe and counsell they aide them in their old age and vnweildy crookednesse when they ease and helpe them in the time of their need or succour them otherwise in any case else and do wholly bestow themselues and all that they haue to do them good withall yea they ought not to giue them a rough or stubburne answer or once so much as to mumble of 〈◊〉 an answer against their parents neither to smite or curse or speake euill of their father and mother vnlesse they will procure the vengeance of God to light vpon them for the same Children ought alwayes to remember that whatsoeuer they do to their fathers and mothers be it good or euill they do it to God when they please them they please God and when they disobey them they disobey God when their parents are iustly angrie with them God is angrie with them neither can it be that they may come to haue the fauour of God againe no although all the Saints in heauen should intreate for them vntill they haue submitted themselues to their father and mother If children and seruants would alwaies keepe in minde this saying so to do and behaue themselues to their parents Maisters and Dames as they would haue their children and seruants to do and behaue themselues to them when God shall vouchsafe to make them parents maisters or dames then no doubt they would obey and reuerence their parents and maisters and dames more dutifully and faithfully then now they do For let them assure themselues that such measure as they 〈◊〉 mete to their parents maisters and dames such will be measured to them againe by their children and seruants Also the children must be carefull to follow the good examples of their fathers and mothers and to suffer themselues to be gouerned by them and to be mindfull to bestow all paine and diligence to discharge their dutie towards them And herewithali they must know that they are not at their owne libertie to do as they list so long as they haue a father and mother to rule them and that they must not fall out among themselues but naturally loue and helpe one another And children haue alwayes to remember that they may not in anie case obey their parents when they shall command them to do or say any thing that is contrarie to the word of God and yet they are to be thought well of For example Ionathan obeyed not his father Sauls commandement who charged him to persecute Dauid and therefore he is worthilie commended in the holy Scriptures For the duties of the first Table are alwaies to be preferred before the duties of the second Table This subiection therefore that children owe vnto their fathers ought in very deed to be vnto them as a ladder or staire to leade them to the reuerence and obedience of God who is our chiefe Father As children receiue of their parents three things to wit life maintenance and instruction so for these three they owe other three namely for life they owe loue for maintenance they owe obedience for instruction they owe reuerence For their life they must feruently loue their parents for their maintenance they must dutifully obey their parents as maisters and for their instruction they must cheerfully reuerence their parents as their tutors And further children must remember that the Lord hath giuen to them their parents to take of them their beginning of life and that they might nourish and bring them vp and that of rude and almost brutish things they might make them able to helpe and liue of themseluer yea and such mothers as are godly and vertuous do suffer and endure more paine and griefe in the bearing bringing vp and nourishing of their children then the fathers do So that greater are the pleasures and good turnes that Christian parents do for their children greater is the cost and labour that they bestow on them and greater is the care griefe and trouble which they take for them then any man how learned soeuer he be is able to expresse And therefore if there were no other reasons or causes to moue children greatly to loue to esteeme well to obey to be kind faithfull and dutifull and to reuerence their parents and that with such a reuerence as commeth from the heart yet these were sufficient Maides and young women are to be put in minde and alwayes to remember that the best portion the greatest inheritance and the most precious iewell that they can bring with them on the marriage day is shamefastnesse the want whereof is most hurtfull in all women And therefore they must carefully shun and auoide all idle and wanton talke nice lookes dalliance and light countenance when they walke abroad or be in company A man needeth many things as wisedome eloquence knowledge of things remembrance skill in some trade or craft to liue by iustice courage and other things and qualities moe which were too long to rehearse and though some of these be lacking yet is he not to be misliked so that he haue many of them But in a maid no man will looke for eloquence great wit ordering of the Commonwealth prudence c. Finally no man will looke for any other thing of a woman but her honestie the which onely if it be lacking she is like a man that wanteth all that he should haue For in a maid her honestie and chastitie is in stead of all She verily may truly be said to be an euill keeper that cannot keepe one thing well committed to her keeping and put in trust to her with much commendation of words and especially which no man will take from her against her will nor touch it except she be willing her selfe The which thing onely if a woman remember it will cause her to take great heed vnto and to be a more warie and carefull keeper of her honestie which alone being lost though all other things be neuer so well and safe yet they perish together therewith because she that hath once lost her honestie should thinke there is nothing left Take from a maid or