if he had said I will blesse thee with such women as shall both beare thee children and also giue sucke to them which they beare The consequence then is this As it is a blessing to haue children of a true lawfull wife so to haue those children nursed of the same wife their mother Obiect They haue the blessing of breasts that haue other women to nurse their children Answ By the same reason it may be said they haue the blessing of the wombe who haue strange women to beare them children But the ioyning of these two branches of blessing together sheweth that both must be taken in the same kinde so that as the blessing of the wombe is to haue children of a mans wife so the blessing of the breasts is to haue them nursed of his wife If it be a blessing for the woman which beareth the childe to giue it sucke then mothers are bound to performe this dutie 2. It is denounced as a curse that women shall haue a barren wombe and drie breasts If it be a curse for women to haue drie breasts then may not women wittingly make them drie which all mothers doe that giue not sucke to their children 3. Manoahs wife being promised to beare a sonne had this charge giuen her Drinke no wine nor strong drinke c. those things were especially hurtfull for her milke It is therefore implied thereby that she should so order her diet as she might well nurse her childe and haue good milke for him 4. God by his good prouidence brought it to passe that the mother of Moses though she were forced to cast out her childe should nurse her owne childe Yea the mother her selfe was desirous to doe it and therefore appointed her daughter â—o watch who should take it vp These two circumstances â—mplie that it appertaineth to a mother to nurse her children 5. The Apostle layeth this downe as a note of a good woman who in her place hath beene carefull to doe her dutie â—nd thereupon fit to doe seruice in Gods Church If she haue â—ourished her children or word for word If she haue fed her children Now the proper food for young babes is breast-milk which by the Apostles rule the mother must giue 6. The same Apostle commandeth mothers to loue their children How can a mother better expresse her loue to her â—oung babe then by letting it sucke of her owne breasts As his is a testimony of loue so it is a meanes of preseruing and increasing loue for daily experience sheweth that mothers â—ue those children best to whom they themselues giue sucke Summe these seuerall consequences together and we â—all finde the dutie in question to be very strongly inforced hereby 1. As a blessing it is promised that mothers shall giue sucke to the children that they beare 2. As a curse it is threatned that women shall not be able to giue sucke 3. An Angell gaue direction to a mother so to carrie her selfe as she might haue store of good milke for the childe which she should beare 4. God by his speciall prouidence manifested that the proper mother was the best nurse for a childe 5. It is the note of a good woman to performe this part of her particular calling namely to nurse her owne childe 6. Women ought to doe all the best duties of loue that they can to their children Therefore mothers ought to nurse their owne children II. Some of the most worthy patternes in whose example this dutie is commended to mothers are these 1. Sarah gaue sucke to Isaak This example is to be noted especially of the greater sort as rich mens wiues honourable mens wiues and the like For Sarah was an honourable woman a princesse a rich mans wife a beautifull woman aged and well growne in yeeres and a mistresse of a family Are not these excuses pretended by many mothers for not nursing children themselues 2. The virgin Mary gaue sucke to Iesus This example is to be noted especially of the meaner sort for the virgin Man was young poore persecuted forced to remoue and flie with her childe from countrie to countrie Are not these excuses pretended by other mothers These two patternes doe not only commend the duty but also strippe all mothers that are negligent therein of all excuse To these may be added the examples of Annah of Dauids mother and of many others What if also I adde the example of that true naturall affectionate mother who stood before Salomons throne to plead for her childe she thus saith of her selfe I arose to giue my sonne sucke c. If this had not beene a good motherly dutie she would not then and there haue pleaded it III. The places of Scripture which take this dutie for a matter granted and for a ruled case are such as these 1. Where Sarah saith Who would haue said to Abram that Sarah should haue giuen children sucke In this phrase she setteth forth Gods blessing in giuing Abram a sonne by her Now in that she expresseth the blessing vnder this phrase of giuing sucke she taketh it for grant that the mother which beareth children must giue them sucke 2. Where Dauid saith thou diddest make me hope vpon my mothers breasts he doth not onely imply that his mother gaue him sucke but by the phrase maketh it a ruled case that the childe which suckes must hang vpon the mothers breast 3. Where Salomon saith O that thou wert as my brother that sucked the breasts of my mother he taketh if also for grant that brothers and sisters as they come out of the same wombe so they should sucke the same breasts euen the breasts of her out of whose wombe they came their owne mothers breasts 4. Where the woman said to Christ Blessed is the wombe that bare thee and the paps which thou hast sucked she taketh it for grant as it was an vsuall practise in those daies that the â—aps of that woman whose wombe beare him gaue him â—ucke These arguments we haue from the light of Gods word other we may haue from Gods workes and the light of nature as 1. God hath giuen to women two breasts fit to containe â—nd hold milke and nipples vnto them fit to haue milke drawne from them Why are these thus giuen to lay them â—rth for ostentation There is no warrant for that in all Gods â—ord They are directly giuen for the childs food that commeth out of the wombe for till the childe be borne there is â—o milke in the breasts anon after it is borne milke ordinariâ—â— floweth into the breasts yea a great part of the meat which â—â—ey eat turneth into milke They make this admirable worke â—f Gods prouidence to be in vaine that drie vp this spring â—â—d suffer not their children to partake of the benefit of it 2. That nourishment whereon the childe fed in the moâ—â—ers wombe and whereby it was there sustained turneth into milke
and commeth into the breasts when the childe commeth out of the wombe Whence we may gather that of all womens milke that womans milke is fittest for the childe out of whose wombe the childe came 3. Together with the milke passeth some smacke of the affection and disposition of the mother which maketh mothers to loue such children best as they haue giuen sucke vnto yea and oft times such children as haue sucked their mothers breasts loue their mothers best yea we may obserue many who haue sucked others milke to loue those nurses all the daies of their life 4. Other things are nourished by the same that they are bred The earth out of which plants grow ministreth nourishment to the said plants trees that bring forth fruit yeeld sap to that fruit whereby it groweth to ripenesse vnreasonable creatures and among them the most sauage wilde beasts as Tigers and Dragons yea sea-monsters giue sucke to their young ones whereupon the Prophet saith of women that giue not sucke to their Children that they are more cruell then those sea-monsters Like the Ostriches in the wildernesse for the cruell Ostrich and the hatefull Cucco are the two kinde of creatures which are noted to leaue their young ones for others to nourish the Ostrich leaueth her eggs in the dust the Cucco leaueth hers in other birds nests Other creatures if nature afford them not milke and dugges as to birds it doth not feed their young ones other waies yet by themselues 5. Shall I adde another argument which daily experience confirmeth namely Gods blessing vpon this motherly dutie commonly such children as are nursed by their mothers prosper best Mothers are most tender ouer them and cannot indure to let them lie crying out without taking them vp and stilling them as nurses will let them crie and crie againe if they be about any businesse of their owne For who are commonly chosen to be nurses euen poore countrie women which haue much worke to doe and little helpe and so are forced to let the childe lie and crie many times till it burst againe Children nursed by their mothers are for the most part more cleanly and neatly brought vp freer from diseases not so many die I am sure not so many through negligence cast away The number of nurse children that die euery yeere is very great It hath beene obserued in many countrie villages that the most part that from time to time die there are nurse children Are not mothers that might haue nursed their owne children if they would accessary to the death of those that are cast away by the nurses negligence On these and other like reasons heathen women and very sauages haue in all ages beene moued to nurse their owne children and some heathen Philosophers haue vrged and pressed the necessitie of this dutie Neuer was it more neglected then among those that beare the name of Christians Let mothers know of what ranke or degree so euer they be that out of the case of necessitie they haue no warrant to put forth their children to others to nurse We read not in all the Scripture of any holy women that euer did it §. 13. Of the obiections for putting children forth to nurse Obiect Many nurses are mentioned in Scripture as Rebekahs nurse Mephibosheths nurse Ioash his nurse and others 1. Answ Such nurses mentioned in Scripture were commonly drie nurses Rebekahs nurse went with her before she was maried how can it be thought that she was a milch nurse Could they tell when Rebekah should haue a childe or when he had one that Deborah the nurse there mentioned should haue milke for her It is said that Naomi became nurse to Ruths â—hilde now Naomi was old long before this she was past â—hild-bearing without an husband for many yeeres how then was it possible that she should giue sucke She was therefore a â—rie nurse as other nurses mentioned in Scripture 2. Answ The mothers of those children which are said to â—aue nurses if those nurses were milch-nurses might be â—ead or if liuing not able to giue sucke for want of milke â—ipple or for some other like defect or if able sinne in putting forth their children 3. Answ Though it be said that there were nurses yet is no where said that a mother put forth her childe to sucke 2. Obiect Pharohs daughter put forth the childe which she â—â—oke for her owne to nurse Answ She bare not this childe nor was the naturall mother of it so as this is nothing to the purpose Yea it maketh against the obiectors in that the true mother of this childe nursed it 3. Obiect The metaphor taken from nurses is oft vsed and applied to God and to Gods ministers 1. Answ The vsing of a thing by way of comparison and resemblance doth not simply iustifie it instance the parable of the vniust steward and of a theefe 2. Answ The metaphor may be taken from a drie nurse as well as a milch nurse for the comparisons are not vsed of giuing sucke but of bearing and carrying in armes as drie nurses vse to carry children 3. Answ The metaphors are most fitly taken from mothers that are nurses to their owne children 4. Obiect Many mothers haue not such skill in giuing sucke as nurses haue Answ Let them learne seeing it is their dutie 5. Obiect Mothers that are of great wealth and high place cannot endure the paine of nursing nor take the paines in handling young children as they must be handled 1. Answ The greatest that be must set themselues to doe that duty which God requireth at their hands though it be with paine and paines Note Sarahs example before recorded 2. Answ By this it appeareth that if other women could beare their children in the wombe nine moneths and endure the paine of trauell for them they would hire them to doe it But seeing they doe the one namely beare and bring forth their owne children with hard labour why should they not doe the other If they say there is an vnauoidable necessity of bearing and bringing forth their children I answer that conscience ought to moue them to nurse those children which necessity forceth them to bring forth God by this latter oâ— nursing children maketh triall of women whether they will for conscience sake doe that duty which they may if they will put off But because God knew that many will doe no more then necessity laieth vpon them he hath made it a matter oâ— impossibility for women to beare and bring forth their children by another 3. Answ If women would with cheerefulnesse set themselues to performe this duty much of the supposed paine and paines would be lessened 4. Answ Though they put not forth their children to nurse they may for their ease entertaine a nurse so they giue sucke themselues 6. Obiect A mother that hath a trade or that hath the care of an house will neglect much businesse by nursing her
childe and her husband will saue more by giuing halfe a crowne a weeke to a nurse then if his wife gaue the childe sucke Answ No outward businesse appertaining to a mother can be more acceptable to God then the nursing of her childe this is the most proper worke of her speciall calling therefore all other businesses must giue place to this and this must not be left for any other businesse As for the husbands sauing by putting the childe forth to nurse no gaine may giue a dispensation against a bounden duty 7. Obiect It will breake tender faire women and make them looke old too soone 1. Answ Gods ordinance must not giue place to womens â—â—icenesse Sarah was faire and old The Virgin Mary was faire and young 2. Answ Drying vp a womans milke will more breake her then her childes sucking of it for it is a meanes both of better health and also of greater strength as to beare children so to giue them sucke Barren women and bearing women which put forth their children to sucke are most subiect to sicknesse and weaknesse The drawing forth of a womans milke by her childe is a meanes to get and preserue a good stomach which is a great preseruatiue of good health 8. Obiect Husbands are disturbed in the night time and hindred of their sleepe by their wiues giuing sucke to their children 1. Answ By this reason neither mothers nor other nurses which haue husbands should giue sucke to children 2. Answ Seeing children come from the loines of the father as well as out of the wombe of the mother they must be content to endure some disturbance as well as their wiues and so much the rather that they may the more pitty their wiues and afford vnto them what helpe they can 9. Obiect Many husbands will not suffer their wiues to nurse their children themselues Answ Because it is a bounden duty wiues must vse all the meanes they can by themselues or others to perswade their husbands to let them performe it they must take heede that they make not this a pretext to couer their owne sloth and lothnesse to this duty they may not make themselues accessarie to their husbands fault by prouiding a nurse and sending the childe away themselues if their husbands will stand vpon their authority and be perswaded by no meanes to the contrary they must be meere patients in suffering the childe to be taken away 10. Obiect Many poore women maintaine their house by nursing other folkes children Answ If they were not that way imployed they might take paines in some other thing But the gaine of one may not make another neglect her duty 11. Obiect Some mothers cannot giue sucke they haue no milke others cannot very well in that they haue no nipples or they haue sore breasts or are sickly or it may be that they haue such a disease as the childe if it should sucke of their milke would draw to it selfe and so the sucking might proue very dangerous to the childe 1. Answ God requireth no impossibilities wherefore in propounding the duty I put in this caution so far as they are able 2. God requireth mercie and not sacrifice if therefore in truth it be so that the mothers giuing sucke to the childe will be dangerous to her selfe or to the childe she may and ought to forbeare for giuing sucke is but as sacrifice to preuenting of danger which is mercie But women must take heed that they pretend not inability and danger without iust cause Some are themselues the cause of wanting milke because they will not let it be drawne downe or because they will not vse meanes for meanes there are to get and increase milke There are meanes also to raise nipples where the breasts are very flat Refusing to giue sucke many times causeth some sickishnesse in a woman and sore breasts which might be preuented with the childes sucking If the forenesse be only in the nipples a mother with enduring a little more paine may safely giue the childe sucke Many mothers haue giuen their children sucke when bloud hath runne by the mouth of the childe by reason of sore nipples and yet both mother and childe done very well 12. Obiect Diuers children being nursed by the mother haue died one after another Answ Due and thorow search must be made by those that are skilfull and if any cause be found in the mother then the rule holdeth Mercy and not sacrifice but if none can be found the issue must be referred to Gods prouidence and the vncertaine euen must not be an hinderance to a knowne dutie Thus the answering of the forenamed obiections maketh the point so much the more cleere §. 14. Of the fathers dutie in incouraging his wife to nurse her childe The dutie which on a fathers part in this respect is required is that he incourage his wife and helpe her with all needfull things for the performance of this dutie It is noted of Elkaâ—ah that he suffered his wife to tarry at home while she gaue sucke to her sonne and would not force her to goe vp to the tabernacle as his other wife did but gaue her all the ease and content he could saying to her Doe what seemeth thee good And of Abraham it is noted that after Sarah had done giuing the childe sucke he made a great feast euen the day that Isaak was weined one end whereof was to testifie his reioycing for Gods blessing on her motherly dutie so well performed §. 15. Of the faults contrarie to a mothers nursing her childe Contrary to this dutie doe all such mothers offend as for any by-respects when no necessity requireth put forth their children to be nursed by others 1. Some doe it for ease and quiet because they cannot endure to haue their sleepe broken or to heare their childe wrangle and crie 2. Others doe it for nicenesse because they are loth to open their breasts or to soile their cloathes 3. Others vpon pride conceiting that their beauty would be impaired and they looke old too soone 4. Others vpon gaine because they can haue a childe cheaper nursed abroad then at home where at least they must hire a maid the more 5. Others vpon pleasure that they might more freely ride abroad and meet their Gossips 6. Others vpon other by-respects all which doe argue much selfe-loue little loue to their childe and little respect to God They can be counted but halfe-mothers for nursing a childe is as much as bearing and bringing it forth §. 16. Of a fathers fault in hindring his wiues nursing of her child To the forenamed fault of mothers doe all such fathers make themselues accessary as forbid their wiues to nurse their children or are a griefe to them by their complaints of trouble disquiet and expence or afford not things needfull or doe not incourage them all they can to doe it The mothers both paine and paines is the greatest it is in comparison but a small thing
fall of man was ordained to liue chastely This the Apostle implieth where he saith to auoid fornication let euerie man haue his owne wife and let euerie woman haue her owne husband And againe If they cannot containe let them marrie 2. By chastitie is a godly seed preserued on earth By this reason doth the Prophet Malachie inforce this dutie For after he had said that the Lord made one meaning of two one flesh by mariage he inferreth this exhortation Therefore take heed to your spirit and let none deale vnfaithfully against the wife of his youth 3. An especiall part of the honour of mariage consisteth in chastitie whereupon the Apostle hauing giuen this high commendation of mariage that it is honourable in all addeth this clause and the bed vndefiled to shew the reason of that honour As if he had said Because the mariage-bed is in it selfe a bed vndefiled mariage is therefore in it selfe honourable and doth so farre remaine honourable as the bed remaineth vndefiled §. 5. Of Adulterie The vice contrarie to matrimoniall chastitie is Adulterie one of the most capitall vices in that estate a vice whereby way is made for Diuorce as is cleare and euident by the determination of Christ himselfe concerning that point first propounded in his sermon on the mount and againe repeated in his conference with the Pharisies where condemning vniust diuorces he excepteth the diuorce made for adulterie And great reason there is thereof For the adulterer maketh himselfe one flesh with his harlot Why then should he remaine to be one flesh with his wife Two saith the Law shall be one flesh not three The like may be said of a wife committing adulterie §. 6. Of pardoning adulterie vpon repentance Quest Seeing by adulterie iust cause of diuorce is giuen may this fault vpon the repentance of the delinquent person be so forgiuen as no diuorce be sought by the innocent person but both continue to liue together in wedlocke as before Answ Though it be not meet in this case to impose it as an inuiolable law vpon the innocent partie to retaine the delinquent because of repentance for we haue direct and strict warrant for it yet I doubt not but they may so doe if they will and that without iust exception to the contrarie they ought so to doe For the law of diuorce did not necessarily enioyne any to sue out the bill but only afforded them libertie to vse that punishment if they saw cause I doubt not but for warrant of this libertie we may take Gods patterne in retaining Churches and people after they haue committed spirituall adulterie and Christs forgiuing the woman that had committed adulterie For Seeing Christ said to an adult eresse I condemne thee not goe and sinne no more who cannot conceiue that an husband ought to forgiue that which he seeth the Lord both of husband and wife hath forgiuen and that he ought not to account her an adulteresse whose fault he beleeueth to be blotted out by the mercie of God vpon her repentance §. 7. Of the difference of adultery in a man and in a wife Quest Is the bond of mariage as much violated on the mans part when he committeth adulterie as on the womans when she doth so Answ Though the ancient Romans and Canonists haue aggrauated the womans fault in this kinde farre aboue the mans and giuen the man more priuiledges then the woman yet I see not how that difference in the sinne can stand with the tenour of Gods word I denie not but that more inconueniences may follow vpon the womans default then vpon the mans as greater infamy before men worse disturbance of the family more mistaking of legitimate or illegitimate children with the like The man cannot so well know which be his owne children as the woman he may take base children to be his owne and so cast the inheritance vpon them and suspect his owne to be basely borne and so depriue them of their patrimony But the woman is freed from all such mistakings Yet in regard of the breach of wedlocke and transgression against God the sinne of either partie is alike Gods word maketh no disparity betwixt them At the beginning God said of them both they two shall be one flesh not the woman only with the man but the man also with the woman is made one flesh Their power also ouer one another in this respect is alike If on iust occasion they abstaine it must be with mutuall consent If the husband leaue his wife she is as free as he should be if she left him Accordingly the punishment which by Gods law was to be inflicted on Adulterers is the same whether the man or the woman be the delinquent Deut. 22. 22. If difference be made it is meet that adulterous husbands be so much the more seuerely punished by how much the more it appertaineth to them to excell in vertue and to gouerne their wiues by example §. 8. Of the hainousnesse of Adulterie But to returne to the discouery of the hainousnesse of Adulterie I finde no sinne thorowout the whole Scripture so notoriously in the seuerall colours thereof set forth as it is For besides that it is by name forbidden in the Decalogue it is further expresly branded to be committed 1. Against each person in the holy Trinitie the Father whose couenant is broken the Sonne whose members are made the members of an harlot and the Holy Ghost whose Temple is polluted 2. Against ones neighbour as the partie with whom the sinne is committed for this sinne cannot be committed singly by one alone the husband and wife of each partie who cannot rest contented with any satisfaction the children borne in adulterie whom they brand with an indelible character of infamie and depriue of many priuiledges that otherwise they might enioy the alliance and friends of each partie to whom the griefe and disgrace of this foule sinne reacheth the whole family appertaining to either of them for this is as a fire in an house the towne citie and nation where such vncleane birds roost for all they lie open to the vengeance of God for this sinne and the very Church of God the holy seed whereof is by this sinne hindred 3. Against the parties themselues that commit this sinne and that against their soules bodies name goods and all that appertaineth to them As this sinne is in it selfe a sinfull sinne so by the bitter and cursed fruits which proceed from it it is made out of measure sinfull For 1. By it husbands and wiues affection which of all other ought to be the most inuiolable is so alienated as seldome it is reconciled againe 2. By it the goods of the family are much wasted the adulterous husband spending that wherewith he should prouide for his family on his harlot and the adulterous wife
is as it were set on a racke if at least the trauell be sharpe and all their parts so stretched as a wonder it is they should euer recouer their health and strength againe or that they should hold out the brunt and not die with their trauell as Rachel and the wife of Phinchas and many in all ages haue done Surely among ordinary deliuerances I know none so neere a miracle none wherein the Almighty doth so euidently manifest his great power and good prouidence as in the safe deliuerie of women Besides the great pang of trauell women are also after their deliuerie subiect to many after-throws which are very painfull From all these paines and great weaknesse which befalleth women in childbed especially if they nurse their children men by reason of their sex are freed Now then to apply this point seeing women are brought to such paines and weaknesse in bringing forth those children which are the man 's as well as hers and he freed from all is it not very iust and meet that he should prouide all things needfull for her welfare ease and recouery of strength 3. Because the want of things needfull is at that time very dangerous dangerous to the health and life of the woman and childe also §. 51. Of neglecting wiues in their weaknesse Contrary to an husbands prouident care in generall are those vices which were taxed in the treatise of common duties as grudging at the charges bestowed on a wife Couetousnesse Prodigality and Idlenesse But contrary in particular to an husbands care for his wife in childbed is the inhumane and more then barbarous vnkindnesse of many husbands who no whit consider the weaknesse of their wiues in this case to helpe ease and comfort them but rather make their burden much more heauy For 1. Some through couetousnesse refuse before hand to afford meanes to their wife to prouide such things as are needfull for her selfe and child when the time commeth if their wife be desirous of a Midwife that requireth somwhat more charges then she that is next she shall haue none if she will not haue the next And as for a nurse to tend her they thinke their Maid will serue the turne wel enough they need not be at the charges to bring a Nurse into the house In regard of conuenient lodging some will not sticke to say Cannot my wife be brought to bed in a roome without a chimney as well as the Virgin Mary Why should my wife need more things then she did Yea further there be many that whē the time that their wife should be deliuered approacheth neere carie her from al her friends into a place where she is not knowne lest her friends should by importunity draw him to expend and lay out more vpon his wife then he is willing In the time while their wife is weake in childbed many are loath to allow them any other diet then is for themselues and children prouided in the house not considering that her stomach cannot be like theirs Many other such bitter fruits of vnkinde husbands arising from couetousnesse might be reckoned vp whereby husbands plainely shew that they loue their wealth better then their wiues they had rather lose them then part with that 2. Others through iealous suspicion forbeare not euen in the time of their wiues paine and weaknesse to vpbraid them with lightnesse and to say that the childe is none of theirs To lay this to a wiues charge vniustly is at any time a most shamefull and odious reproach but in the time of childebirth whether iust or vniust a thing too too spightfull and reuengefull Some wiues are so farre ouercome thereby especially in the time of their weaknesse as they are not able to beare it but euen faint and die vnder the reproach others more stout vow neuer to know their husbands againe Many like mischiefes follow on such vnkindnesse §. 52. Of an husbands prouiding for his wife according to his estate and abilitie In an husbands prouiding for the body of his wife respect must be had to the measure and to the manner The measure must extend to his ability for an husband ought to maintaine his wife in as good an estate and fashion as himselfe by mariage she is aduanced to as high an estate and dignity in relation to others as he is and for her owne vse she is made a partner of all his goods and accordingly ought to partake thereof For the manner he must suffer her if at least he obserue her to haue any competent discretion to order such things as are needfull for her selfe according to her best liking as Elkanah in another case said to his wife Doe what seemeth thee best Both in the measure and in the manner of prouiding there must be a difference put betwixt a wife and seruants or children These may haue their portions of meat apparrell and like necessaries proportioned out and stinted vnto them which is vnmeet to be done to a wife Neither is it needfull that so plentifull a prouision be made for them as for her §. 53. Of an husbands nigardlynesse to his wife Contrary is an husbands nigardly dealing with his wife when the allowance she hath is both farre vnder his estate and also so giuen her by little and little as if she were a childe Many husbands make their wiues drudge at home fare hardly and goe meanly who are themselues braue in apparrell frolicke in their feasting abroad and so exceed their wiues as they are ashamed to be seene in company with them They who marry their maids or others of meaner ranke then themselues oft so deale with them esteeming them but as seruants and meane persons though they be their wiues But it hath beene before shewed that wiues by marriage are aduanced to their husbands dignity how meane soeuer they were before §. 54. Of husbands allowing their wiues to bestow on others as they see good occasion So farre ought the prouident care of an husband for his wife to extend as she may haue beside things needfull to her selfe to bestow on such as it is requisite for her to giue vnto as namely on children and seruants in the house and others also out of the house For so much is noted in Salomons description of a good wife She giueth meat to her houshold and a portion to her maidens all her houshold is clothed with scarlet namely by her ordering and disposing the matter Her children rise vp and call her blessed as for her generall cariage in the family so for her particular fauours bestowed on themselues As for others out of the house it is also noted that she stretcheth out her hand to the poore and reacheth forth her hands to the needie These things she did by virtue of that power and liberty which her husband gaue her as appeareth by two points there noted 1. In that before any mention is made of those things
OF DOMESTICALL DVTIES Eight Treatises I. An Exposition of that part of Scripture out of which Domesticall Duties are raised II. 1. A right Coniunction of Man and Wife 2. Common-mutuall Duties betwixt Man and Wife III. Particular Duties of Wiues IV. Particular Duties of Husbands V. Duties of Children VI. Duties of Parents VII Duties of Seruants VIII Duties of Masters By WILLIAM GOVGE LONDON Printed by Iohn Haviland for William Bladen and are to be sold at the signe of the Bible neere the great North doore of Pauls 1622. TO THE RIGHT HONOVRABLE RIGHT VVorshipfull and other my beloued Parishioners Inhabitants of the Precinct of Black-friers LONDON such sufficiencie of Grace as may bring them to fulnesse of Glory IF noble Birth high Honour great Estate true Piety bountifull Charity good Esteeme of Gods word and Ministers and in particular intire loue of the Author be inducements to choose a Patron for his worke I for my part need not goe farre for a Patron In mine owne parish are all these To you therefore right Honourable right Worshipfull and other my beloued Parishioners most worthy of all due respect doe I dedicate these my poore paines about Domesticall Duties To testifie the equall dutie which I owe and the impartiall respect which I beare to you all I make you all as one Patron You were the first ouer whom I euer had any ministeriall charge To this charge by your free choice was I called Among you haue I spent almost two full prentiships You haue alwaies so accepted my paines and respected my person as I neuer had any cause to repent my acceptance of this place and calling but rather to thanke God for the same My desire is if so it may seeme good to the diuine prouidence to spend all my daies among you and while I am among you to helpe forward your spirituall edification This is the maine end of my calling and the marke which as in the ordinary course of my Ministry so in the publishing of these Eight Treatises of Domesticall Duties and dedicating them to you I haue aimed at As in testimony of Loue and Dutie I haue preached in your hearing and published in your name these Duties so doe you manifest your kinde acceptance of my former and latter paines by a conscionable obseruing of them so farre forth as they are agreeable to Gods word that all who know you may know by that euident demonstration how well you haue relished and approued them Thus shall you gaine much profit and my selfe much comfort by my paines Oh if the head and seuerall members of a family would be perswaded euery of them to be conscionable in performing their owne particular duties what a sweet society and happy harmony would there be in houses What excellent seminaries would families be to Church and Common-wealth Necessary it is that good order be first set in families for as they were before other polities so they are somewhat the more necessary and good members of a family are like to make good members of Church and common-wealth The subiect matter therefore of these Treatises is worth the handling if I were able according to the worth thereof to handle it I haue endeuoured to doe what I could therein though I haue not attained to what I would Be you like vnto God who if there be first a willing mind accepteth according to that a man hath and not according to that he hath not Though for such a matter as is handled in these Treatises the worke may seeme at first sight to be too copious yet I hope the obseruant Reader will not finde it too tedious It is the variety of many not the prolixity of few points which hath made this booke to swell to that bignesse which it hath The first Treatise which is a fourth part of the booke containeth a Commentary on that part of Scripture out of which Domesticall Duties are raised wherein the Apostle setting forth Christ and the Church as patternes to husbands and wiues liuely declareth the great loue of Christ to his Church and the neere vnion betwixt them together with other deepe mysteries the vnfolding whereof hath a little the longer detained me But as I haue a while insisted on maine matters of much moment so haue I very briefly passed ouer other points The other Treatises wherein the Duties themselues are handled are euery of them much shorter then the first In them I haue barely propounded and briefly proued the truth and equity of the seuerall duties except some choice points which are of especiall vse or at least through disuse much questioned and them I haue more largely handled And because contraries laid together doe much set forth each other in their liuely colours I haue to euery duty annexed the contrary fault and aberration from it For many that heare the duties thinke all well enough till they heare also the contrary vices whereby in their consciences they are most conuinced Concerning the many faults and vices of bad Husbands Wiues Parents Children Masters and Seruants taxed in these Treatises let me intreat you not to apply them too generally to all Husbands Wiues Parents Children Masters and Seruants Hath not wise Solomon much taxed the lightnesse shrewishnesse pride flattery and other vices of women And shall sober meeke humble honest women thinke themselues taxed thereby By like reason might vnchaste strumpets vntrusty gossips vnquiet shrewes and proud dames thinke themselues commended by those excellent commendations which be giueth of good women Let euery one as their conscience an impartiall Iudge shall beare them witnesse make a right application of euery thing to themselues Thus shall we Ministers be freed from many euill surmizes I remember that when these Domesticall Duties were first vttered out of the pulpit much exception was taken against the application of a wiues subiection to the restraining of her from disposing the common goods of the family without or against her husbands consent But surely they that made those exceptions did not well thinke of the Cautions and Lamitations which were then deliuered and are now againe expresly noted which are that the foresaid restraint be not extended to the proper goods of a wife no nor ouerstrictly to such goods as are set apart for the vse of the family nor to extraordinary cases nor alwaies to an expresse consent nor to the consent of such husbands as are impotent or farre and long absent If any other warrantable caution shall be shewed me I will be as willing to admit it as any of these Now that my meaning may not still be peruerted I pray you in reading the restraint of wiues power in disposing the goods of the family euer beare in minde those Cautions Other exceptions were made against some other particular duties of wiues For many that can patiently enough heare their duties declared in generall termes cannot endure to heare those generals exemplified in their particular branches
father and master Thus is their breach of dutie a double fault one in respect of the party whom they wrong and to whom they denie dutie the other in respect of those to whom they giue occasion of sinning Know therefore O husbands and wiues that yee aboue all other in the familie are most bound vnto a conscionable performance of your dutie Greater will your condemnation be if you faile therein Looke to it aboue the rest and by your example draw on your children and seruants if you haue any to performe their duties which surely they will more readily do when they shall behold you as guides going before them and making conscience of your ioynt and seuerall duties §. 10. Of the Apostles order in setting downe inferiours duties in the first place In handling the duties of the first forenamed couple the Apostle beginneth with wiues and layeth downe their particular duties in the first place The reason of this order I take to be the inferiority of the wife to her husband I doe the rather take it so to be because I obserue this to be his vsuall method and order first to declare the duties of inferiours and then of superiours For in handling the duties of children and parents and of seruants and masters he beginneth with the inferiours both in this and in other Epistles which order also S. Peter obserueth yea the law it selfe doth in the first place and that expresly mention the inferiours dutie only implying the superiours to follow as a iust consequence which is this If the inferiour must giue honour and by vertue thereof performe such duties as appertaine thereto then must the superiour carrie himselfe worthy of honour and by vertue thereof performe answerable duties Quest Why should inferiours duties be more fully expressed and placed in the first ranke Answ Surely because for the most part inferiours are most vnwilling to vndergoe the duties of their place Who is not more ready to rule than to be subiect I denie not but that it is a farre more difficult and hard matter to gouerne well than to obey well For to rule and gouerne requireth more knowledge experience wisdome care watchfulnesse diligence and other like vertues than to obey and be subiect He that obeyeth hath his rule laid before him which is the will and command of his superiour in things lawfull and not against Gods will But the superiour who commandeth is to consider not only what is lawfull but also what is most fit meet conuenient and euery way the best yea also he must forecast for the time to come and so farre as he can obserue whether that which is now for the present meet enough may not be dangerous for the time to come and in that respect vnmeet to be vrged Whence it followeth that the superiour in authoritie may sinne in commanding that which the inferiour in subiection may vpon his command doe without sinne Who can iustly charge Ioab with sinne in numbring the people when Dauid vrged him by vertue of his authoritie so to doe Yet did Dauid sinne in commanding it Without all question Saul did sin in charging the people by an oath to eat no food the day that they pursued their enemies a time when they had most need to be refreshed with food as Ionathans words implie and yet did not the people sinne in forbearing witnesse the euent that followed on Ionathans eating though he knew not his fathers charge Who seeth not hereby that it is a matter of much more difficultie to rule well than to obey which is yet further euident by Gods wise disposing prouidence in ordering who should gouerne who obey Commonly the younger for age the weaker for sex the meaner for estate the more ignorant for vnderstanding with the like are in places of subiection but the elder stronger wealthier wiser and such like persons are for the most part or at least should be in place of authority Woe to thee ô land saith Salomon when thy king is a childe And Isaiah denounceth it as a curse to Israel that children shall be their Princes and babes shall rule ouer them and complaineth that women had rule ouer the people Now to returne to the point though it be so that gouernours haue the heauiest burden laid on their shoulders yet inferiours that are under subiection thinke their burden the heauiest and are lothest to beare it and most willing to cast it away For naturally there is in euery one much pride and ambition which as dust cast on the eies of their vnderstanding putteth out the sight thereof and so maketh them affect superiority and authority ouer others and to be stubborne vnder the yoke of subiection which is the cause that in all ages both by diuine and also by humane lawes penalties and punishments of diuers kinds haue beene ordained to keepe inferiours in compasse of their dutie and yet such is the pride of mans heart all will not serue What age what place euer was there which hath not iust cause to complaine of subiects rebellion seruants stubbornnesse childrens disobedience wiues presumption Not without cause therefore doth the Apostle first declare the duties of inferiours Besides the Apostle would hereby teach those who are vnder authority how to moue them that are in authority ouer them to deale equally and kindly not hardly and cruelly with them namely by endeuouring to performe their owne dutie first For what is it that prouoketh wrath rage and fury in gouernours What maketh them that haue authority to deale roughly and rigorously is it not for the most part disobedience and stoutnesse in those that are vnder gouernment though some in authority be so proud so sauage and inhumane as no honour done to them no performance of duty can satisfie and content them but they will as Dauids enemies reward euill for goodnesse yet the best generall direction that can be prescribed to inferiours to prouoke their gouernours to deale well with them is that inferiours themselues be carefull and conscionable in doing their duty first If their gouernours on earth be nothing moued therewith yet will the highest Lord in heauen graciously accept it Lastly men must first learne to obey well before they can rule well for they who scorne to be subiect to their gouernours while they are vnder authority are like to proue intolerably insolent when they are in authority Learne all that are vnder authority how to win your gouernours fauour how to make your yoke easie and your burden light how to preuent many mischiefes which by reason of the power of your superiours ouer you may otherwise fall vpon you First doe ye your duty There are many weighty reasons to moue gouernours first to begin to doe their dutie For First by vertue of their authority they beare Gods image therefore in doing their duty they honour that image Secondly by
teach but not to priuate families in which she may and ought to teach for Barthshebah taught Salomon When Apollos was brought to the house of Aquila Priscilla the wife of Aquila did helpe to expound to Apollos the way of God more perfectly 2. The other branch concerning authoritie hath not reference to the inferiour members in the family ouer which the wife of an houshold gouernour hath authoritie but only to the husband ouer whom if she take any authoritie she vsurpeth it Therfore neither this place of Scripture nor any other doth exclude the wife being iointly considered with the husband to rule gouerne those in the family which are vnder them both 2. Obiect This ioint gouernment of the wife doth much impaire the dignity and authority of the husband Answ Nothing lesse for she is subordinate to her husband and must so rule others as she be subiect to her husband and not command any thing against his command prouided that his command be not against the Lord and his word We see that in all estates the king or highest gouernour hath other Magistrates vnder him who haue a command ouer the subiects and yet thereby the kings supreme authoritie is no whit impaired but rather the better established and he the more honoured So is it in a family Let therefore husbands and wiues herein assist one another for so they may be very helpfull one to another and bring by their mutuall helpe in gouerning much good to the family The husband by his helpe aiding his wife addeth much authoritie vnto her and so causeth that she is not despised nor lightly esteemed The wife by her helpe causeth many things to be espied and so redressed which otherwise might neuer haue beene found out for two eies see more then one especially when one of those is more at hand and in presence as the wife is in the house Besides there are many things in well gouerning a family more fit for one to meddle withall then for the other as for the husband to meddle with the great and weightie affaires of the family as performing Gods worship appointing and setling good orders prouiding conuenient house-roome and other necessaries for the family keeping children when they grow great or waxe stubborne in awe ruling men seruants with the like And for the wife to meddle with some lesse but very needfull matters as nourishing and instructing children when they are young adorning the house ordering the prouision brought into the house ruling maid seruants with the like Yea further as the man especially is to performe the very actions of prayer reading the word catechizing and other like duties in the family so the wife may be a great helpe in putting her husband in minde both of the dutie it selfe and of the time of performing it and incouraging him to doe it in gathering the family together and exhorting them to be forward in making her selfe an example to the rest by her diligent and reuerend attention in oft vrging and pressing to her children and seruants such points of instruction as her husband hath taught yea in praying reading teaching and performing like exercises her selfe so farre as she is able when her husband is absent or negligent and carelesse and will not himselfe doe them or it may be is not able to doe them or if she performe them not her selfe in getting some other to performe them §. 41. Of the vices contrary to a ioint care of gouerning the family The minde and practise of many both husbands and wiues is contrary to this dutie Many a husband because the wiues office is especially to abide at home will put off all gouernment to the wife leauing it to her not only to order the things in the house but also to bring in all needful things to order and gouerne the children both young and old yea euen to prouide for them also to take in to put out to vse all sorts of seruants as pleaseth her yea if seruants shall be stubborne and stout against her he will take no notice of it nor endure to be told of it much lesse afford her his assistance but suffer her to be disgraced and despised As for religious duties he will no way meddle with them Oh base minded men vnworthy to be husbands and heads of wiues shall your wiues who were made to be an helpe to you haue no helpe from you â—o not in those things which especially belong to your charge shall the weaker vessels beare all the burden Assuredly as the man carrieth away the greatest reputation and honour when a family is well gouerned though it be by the ioynt care and wisdome of his wife so lieth he most open to the iudgement of God if the gouernment thereof be neglected and through the neglect thereof children and seruants grow impious instance Elie and Dauid For as in a common-wealth the greatest honour of good gouernment victorious battels happy peace and prosperity and the greatest dishonor and dammage of the contrary redoundeth to the king so to the man who is chiefe gouernour in a family for it is presupposed that all which doe any good are instruments of the highest gouernour if any euill or mischiefe fall out that it is through his negligence On the other side because the husband is the most principall many wiues thinke that the gouernment of the family nothing at all appertaines to them and thereupon are carelesse of the good thereof and will not stirre their least finger to order any thing aright but if any thing be amisse lay all the blame on their husbands Doe not such peruert that maine end for which God made them euen to be an helpe Doe they not carrie themselues most vnworthy of the place wherein God hath set them namely to be ioynt-gouernours with their husbands and partakers of their dignities As by their negligence they make themselues accessary to all the euill which falleth out in the family so assuredly shall they haue their part in those iudgements which are executed on the head thereof Most contrary to the forenamed dutie is the practise of such as are hindrances one to another in gouerning the family as when wiues are not only negligent themselues in comming to religious exercises but keepe backe children and seruants and so are a great griefe vnto their religious husbands or when they vse any of the children or seruants to be instruments of iniquity or are themselues disquiet and troublesome in the house like to her of whom Salomon speaketh in this prouerbe It is better to dwell in the corner of the house top then with a contentious woman in a wide house Husbands also are oft an hinderance to that good gouernment which their wiues would helpe forward when they scoffe and scorne at that good counsell which their wiues giue them for that purpose or when they will not suffer their wiues to meddle with any thing at
that her owne husband is aboue her or hath any authoritie ouer her First therefore concerning the generall I will lay downe some euident and vndeniable proofes to shew that an husband is his wiues superiour and hath authoritie ouer her The proofes are these following 1. God of whom the powers that be ordained are hath power to place his Image in whom he will and to whom God giueth superioritie and authority the same ought to be acknowledged to be due vnto them But God said of the man to the woman he shall rule ouer thee Gen. 3. 16. 2. Nature hath placed an eminencie in the male ouer the female so as where they are linked together in one yoake it is giuen by nature that he should gouerne she obey This did the heathen by light of nature obserue 3. The titles and names whereby an husband is set forth doe implie a superiority and authority in him as Lord 1 Pet. 3. 6. Master Est 1. 17. Guide Prou. 2. 17. Head 1 Cor. 11. 3. Image and glory of God 1 Cor. 11. 7. 4. The persons whom the husband by vertue of his place and whom the wife by vertue of her place represent most euidently proue as much for an husband representeth Christ and a wife the Church Eph. 5. 23. 5. The circumstances noted by the holy Ghost at the womans creation implie no lesse as that she was created after man for mans good and out of mans side Gen. 2. 18 c. 6. The very attire which nature and custome of all times and places haue taught women to put on confirmeth the same as long haire vailes and other couerings ouer the head this and the former argument doth the Apostle himselfe vse to this very purpose 1 Cor. 11. 7 c. The point then being so cleere wiues ought in conscience to acknowledge as much namely that an husband hath superiority and authoritie ouer a wife The acknowledgement hereof is a maine and principall dutie and a ground of all other duties Till a wife be fully instructed therein and truly perswaded thereof no dutie can be performed by her as it ought for subiection hath relation to superioritie and authoritie The very notation of the word implieth as much How then can subiection be yeelded if husbands be not acknowledged superiors It may be forced as one King conquered in battell by another may be compelled to yeeld homage to the conqueror but yet because he still thinketh with himselfe that he is no whit inferiour he will hardly be brought willingly to yeeld a subiects dutie to him but rather expect a time when he may free himselfe and take reuenge of the conqueror §. 4. Of a fond conceit that husband and wife are equall Contrary to the forenamed subiection is the opinion of many wiues who thinke themselues euery way as good as their husbands and no way inferiour to them The reason whereof seemeth to be that small inequalitie which is betwixt the husband and the wife for of all degrees wherein there is any difference betwixt person and person there is the least disparitie betwixt man and wife Though the man be as the head yet is the woman as the heart which is the most excellent part of the body next the head farre more excellent then any other member vnder the head and almost equall to the head in many respects and as necessary as the head As an euidence that a wife is to man as the heart to the head she was at her first creation taken out of the side of man where his heart lieth and though the woman was at first of the man created out of his side yet is the man also by the woman Euer since the first creation man hath beene borne and brought forth out of the womans wombe so as neither the man is without the woman nor the woman without the man yea as the wife hath not power of her owne body but the husband so the husband hath not power of his owne body but the wife They are also heires together of the grace of life Besides wiues are mothers of the same children whereof their husbands are fathers for God said to both multiplie and increase and mistresses of the same seruants whereof they are masters for Sarah is called mistresse and in many other respects there is a common equitie betwixt husbands and wiues whence many wiues gather that in all things there ought to be a mutuall equalitie But from some particulars to inferre a generall is a very weake argument 1. Doth it follow that because in many things there is a common equitie betwixt Iudges of Assise Iustices of peace and Constables of townes that therefore there is in all things an equalitie betwixt them 2. In many things there is not a common equitie for the husband may command his wife but not she him 3. Euen in those things wherein there is a common equity there is not an equality for the husband hath euer euen in all things a superioritie as if there be any difference euen in the forenamed instances the husband must haue the stroake as in giuing the name of Rachels youngest childe where the wife would haue one name the husband another that name which the husband gaue stood Gen. 35. 18. Though there seeme to be neuer so little disparitie yet God hauing so expresly appointed subiection it ought to be acknowledged and though husband and wife may mutually serue one another through loue yet the Apostle suffereth not a woman to rule ouer the man §. 5. Of a wiues acknowledgement of her owne husbands superioritie The truth and life of that generall acknowledgement of husbands honour consisteth in the particular application therof vnto their owne proper husbands The next dutie therefore is that wiues acknowledge their owne husbands euen those to whom by Gods prouidence they are ioyned in mariage to be worthy of an husbands honour and to be their superiour thus much the Apostle intendeth by that particle of restraint owne which he vseth very often so likewise doth S. Peter exhorting wiues to be in subiection to their owne husbands and hereunto restraining the commendation of the ancient good wiues that they were in subiection to their owne husbands Obiect What if a man of meane place be maried to a woman of eminent place or a seruant be maried to his mistresse or an aged woman to a youth must such a wife acknowledge such an husband her superiour Answ Yea verily for in giuing her selfe to be his wife and taking him to be her husband she aduanceth him aboue herselfe and subiecteth her selfe vnto him It booteth nothing what either of them were before mariage by vertue of the matrimoniall bond the husband is made the head of his wife though the husband were before mariage a very begger and of meane parentage and the wife very wealthy and of a noble
stocke or though he were her prentise or bondslaue which also holdeth in the case betwixt an aged woman and a youth for the Scripture hath made no exception in any of those cases 2. Obiect But what if a man of lewd and beastly conditions as a drunkard a glutton a profane swaggerer an impious swearer and blasphemer be maried to a wife sober religious Matron must she account him her superiour and worthy of an husbands honour Answ Surely she must For the euill qualitie and disposition of his heart and life doth not depriue a man of that ciuill honour which God hath giuen vnto him Though an husband in regard of euill qualities may carrie the Image of the deuill yet in regard of his place and office he beareth the â—mage of God so doe Magistrates in the common-wealth Ministers in the Church parents and masters in the familie Note for our present purpose the exhortation of S. Peter to Christian wiues which had infidell husbands Be in subiection to them let your conuersation be in feare If Infidels carrie â—ot the deuils Image and are not so long as they are Infidels â—assals of Satan who are yet wiues must be subiect to them and feare them §. 6. Of wiues denying honour to their owne husbands Contrary thereunto is a very peruerse disposition in some wiues who thinke they could better subiect themselues to any husband then their owne Though in generall they acknowledge that an husband is his wiues superiour yet when the application commeth to themselues they faile and cannot be brought to yeeld that they are their husbands inferiours This is a vice worse then the former For to acknowledge no husband to be superiour ouer his wife but to thinke man and wife in all things equall may proceed from ignorance of hinde and error of iudgement But for a wife who knoweth and acknowledgeth the generall that an husband is aboue his wife to imagine that she her selfe is not inferiour to her husband ariseth from monstrous selfe-conceit and intolerable â—rrogancy as if she her selfe were aboue her owne sex and â—ore then a woman Contrary also is the practise of such women as purposely â—ary men of farre lower ranke then themselues for this very end that they may rule ouer their owne husbands and of others who being aged for that end mary youths if not very boyes A minde and practise very vnseemely and cleaneth warting Gods ordinance But let them thinke of ruling what they list the truth is that they make themselues subiects both by Gods law and mans of which subiection such wiues doe oft feele the heauiest burden Salomon noteth this to be one of the things for which the earth is disquieted when a seruant reigneth Now when can a seruant more dominere then when he hath maried his mistresse As for aged women who are maried to youths I may say as in another case it was said woe to thee ô wife whose husband is a childe Vnmeet it is that an aged man should be maried to a young maid but much more vnmeet for an aged woman to be maried to a youth §. 7. Of a wiues inward feare of her husband Hitherto of a wiues acknowledgement of her husbands superioritie It followeth to speake of that answerable respect which she ought to beare towards him A wiue-like respect of her husband consisteth in two points 1. Reuerence 2. Obedience  The reuerence which she oweth to him is 1. Inward 2. Outward  Inward reuerence is an awfull respect which a wife in her heart hath of her husband esteeming him worthy of all honour for his place and office sake because he is her husband Doubtlesse Sarah had in her heart a reuerend respect and honourable esteeme of her husband when being alone and thinking of him in her very thought she gaue him this title Lord. This inward reuerence the Scripture compriseth vnder this word Feare as where our Apostle saith Let the wife see that she feare her husband and where S. Peter exhorteth wiues to haue their conuersation in Feare It is no slauish feare of her husband which ought to possesse the heart of a wife dreading blowes frownes spightfull words or the like but such an awfull respect of him as maketh her to vse the Apostles word care how she may please him This wiue-like Feare is manifested by two effects one is Ioy when she giueth contentment to her husband and obserueth him to be pleased with that which she doth the other is griefe when he is iustly offended and grieued especially with any thing that she her selfe hath done Vnlesse this inward reuerence and due respect of an husband be first placed in the heart of a wife either no outward reuerence and obedience will be performed at all or if it be performed it will be very vnsound only in shew hypocriticall and deceitfull so that as good neuer a whit as neuer the better For according to ones inward affection and disposition will the outward action and conuersation be framed Michal first despised Dauid in her heart and thence it followed that she vtteredmost vnreuerend and vile speeches of him euen to his face Wherefore after the iudgement of a wife is rightly informed of an husbands superioritie and her will perswaded to account her owne husband her head and guide it is very needfull that her heart and affection be accordingly seasoned with the salt of good respect and high esteeme which breedeth feare and that thus her heart may be seasoned she ought oft and seriously to meditate of his place and office and of that honour which the Lord by vertue thereof hath planted in him And if he haue gifts worthie his place as knowledge wisdome pietie temperance loue and the like she ought to take notice thereof and to thinke him worthie of double honour §. 8. Of a wiues base esteeme of her husband Contrary to this inward reuerence of the heart is a base and wile esteeme which many haue of their husbands thinking no better of them then of other men nay worse then of others despising their husbands in their heart like Michal of whom we heard before This as it is in it selfe a vile vice so is â—t a cause of many other vices as of presumption rebellion yea and of adultery it selfe many times and it is also a maine hinderance of all dutie It commonly riseth either from selfe-conceit whereby wiues ouerweene their owne gifts thinking them so excellent is they need no guide or head but are rather fit to guide and rule both their husband and all the houshold of which proud and presumptuous spirit Iezabel seemeth to be who with an audacious and impudent face said to Ahab her husband Dost thou now gouerne the kingdome of Israel Up I will giue thee the vineyard of Naboth So also all those wiues which are noted to draw away their husbands hearts from the
a kinde of obeysance This is not so to be taken as if no difference were to be made betwixt the carriage of a seruant or childe and a wife or as if a wife should bow at euery word that she speaketh to her husband Though in the kinde and extent of many duties the same things are required of wiues which are required of children and seruants because God hath made them all inferiours and exacted subiection of all yet in the manner and measure of many duties there is great difference as in this the obeysance of children and seruants ought to be more submissiue and more frequent Yet because God hath placed authority in the husband ouer his wife she is euery way to testifie her reuerend respect of her husband and therefore at some times on some occasions as when he is going on a iourney for a time from her or when he returneth home againe or when she hath a solemne and great sute to make vnto him or when he offereth an especiall and extraordinary fauour vnto her or as I haue obserued such wiues as know what beseemeth their place and are not ashamed to manifest as much when she sitteth downe or riseth vp from table to declare her reuerence by some obeysance This cannot but much worke on the heart of a good and kinde husband and make him the more to respect his wife when he beholdeth this euidence of her respect to him Yea it cannot but be a good patterne to children and seruants and a motiue to stirre them vp to yeeld all submissiue obeysance both to her husband and to her selfe For it may make them thus to reason with themselues shall we scorne or thinke much to yeeld that to our father or master which our mother or mistresse thinketh not much to yeeld to her husband shall-she bow to him and shall not we much more bow to her Thus a wiues honouring of her husband by yeelding obeysance to him maketh both him and her selfe to be more honoured of others Contrarily minded are they who not only altogether omit this dutie but also gibe and scoffe at the very hearing thereof saying thus wiues shall be made no better then children or seruants But though scornefull dames deride these outward euidences of their subiection yet such wiues as feare the Lord ought not to be hindered thereby from doing their dutie for by such euill examples they might be discouraged from euery good dutie It is sufficient that such holy women as trusted in God so behaued themselues But for this particular we know that equals scorne not vpon occasions to performe this kinde of courtesie in making obeysance one to another how much lesse ought wiues who are their husbands inferiours §. 12. Of wife-like modestie in apparell Modestie appertaining to a wife is much manifested in her apparell S. Paul requireth this modestie in generall of all sorts of women but S. Peter presseth it in particular vpon wiues For as it well beseemeth all women so wiues after a peculiar manner namely in attiring themselues to respect rather their husbands place and state then their owne birth and parentage but much rather then their owne minde and humour A wiues modestie therefore requireth that her apparell be neither for costlinesse aboue her husbands abilitie nor for curiousnesse vn beseeming his calling As a poore mans wife must not affect costly apparell so neither Ministers graue Counsellours sage Magistrates no nor conscionable Professours wiues hunt after new fashions or in light and garish apparell attire themselues It is a token of great reuerence in a wife towards her husband to haue an eye to his place and state in her apparell On the contrarie such proud daines as must haue their owne will in their attire and thinke it nothing appertaineth to their husbands to order them therein who care not what their husbands abilitie or what his place and calling be they shew little respect and reuerence to their husbands Such are they who are no whit moued with their husbands example but though the mans apparell be plaine and graue yet the wiues shall be costly and garish Yea many there be that stand in some more awe of their husbands sight but shew little more respect vnto him who haue their silken gownes Beauer hats and other like attire not agreeable to their place and state lie in the countrey if they be of the citie or in the citie if they be of the countrey in a friends house where their husbands shall not know it and when their husbands are not with them weare them and paint their faces lay out their haire and in euerie thing follow the fashion What can they which behold this thinke but that such a wiues care is more to please other light vaine persons then her graue discreet husband or that her husband can nothing at all preuaile with her which as it staineth her owne credit so it leaueth a blot of dishonour euen vpon him If the care of a wife were to giue euidence of the reuerence which she beareth to her husband his desire and example would in this respect more preuaile with her then the humour of her owne heart §. 13. Of a wiues reuerend speech to her husband As by gesture so by speech also must a wiues reuerence be manifested this must be answerable to that For by words as well as by deeds the affection of the heart is manifested Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh A wiues reuerence is manifested by her speech both in her husbands presence and also in his absence For this end in his presence her words must be few reuerend and meeke First few For the Apostle enioyneth silence to wiues in their husbands presence and inforceth that dutie with a strong reason in these words I permit not the woman to vsurpe authoritie ouer the man but to be in silence the inference of the latter clause vpon the former sheweth that he speaketh not only of a womans silence in the Church but also of a wiues silence before her husband which is further cleared by another like place where the same Apostle enioyneth wiues to learne of their husbands at home The reason before mentioned for silence on the one side implieth a reuerend subiection as on the other side too much speech implieth an vsurpation of authoritie Obiect Then belike a wife must be alwayes mute before her husband Answ No such matter for silence in that place is not opposed to speech as if she should not speake at all but to loquacitie to talkatiuenesse to ouer-much tatling her husbands presence must some what restraine her tongue and so will her verie silence testifie a reuerend respect Otherwise silence as it is opposed to speech would imply stoutnesse of stomacke and stubbornnesse of heart which is an extreme contrarie to loquacitie But the meane betwixt both is for a wife to be sparing in speech to expect
dead 2. Some gather that this steward was that Ruler whose sonne Christ healed who thereupon beleeued with all his house Which if he were then it cannot be doubted but that his wife followed Christ with his good liking and consent 3. Chuza being Herods steward and so a man of great place and publike imploiment might if he were then liuing depute the managing of all affaires at home to his wife as the husband of the good wife commended by Salomon and so she might haue at least a generall consent I doe not certainly determine any of these expresly to be so I doe but note them as probabilities yet such as doe sufficiently ouerthrow the surmised libertie of a wife in giuing almes without any consent of her husband for this of all other probabilities seemeth to be most improbable Into my heart it can neuer enter to imagine that Christ would giue such an occasion of slander vnto his enemies as to say he caried about with him other mens wiues without or against the consent of their husbands and suffered them to spend the goods of their husbands vpon him I had much rather thinke that either such women as followed him had no husbands liuing or if they had that they did that which they did with the consent of their husbands §. 38. Of the restraint of wiues about allowance for themselues or families without their husbands consent That which hath hitherto beene deliuered concerning a wiues subiection in disposing goods may also be applied to other things concerning her selfe children seruants c. whereof I will giue some examples A wife hath not power to appoint what she list her selfe without or against her husbands consent either for her owne allowance or for her family she must rather rest satisfied with that which he appointeth for he being the head must haue the ouer-ruling stroake therein Besides he better knoweth what may be afforded Quest What if an husband make himselfe poorer then he is and the allowance which he appointeth be meaner then his meanes and vnbeseeming his place and state Answ She ought if possiby she can by her owne instant perswasion or any other faire meanes moue him to that which tendeth to his honour and reputation but if she can no way preuaile her subiection requireth contentment and patience §. 39. Of a wiues subiection to her husband about children A wife may not simply without or directly against her husbands consent order and dispose of the children in giuing them names apparelling their bodies appointing their callings places of bringing vp mariages or portions 1. For giuing names to children besides that it is throughout the Scripture for the most part enioyned to the husband as to Abraham to Zacharias and to others and that accordingly husbands haue ordinarily done as Adam Lamech Abraham and others It is to be noted that when there was a difference betwixt the man and his wife in giuing a childes name he giuing one name she another the name which he gaue stood though Rachel named her youngest sonne Benoni yet Beniamin which name Iaakob gaue was the childes name So also when Elizabeth told her friends that her childes name must be Iohn they would not rest therein till Zacharias had ratified that name Yea though Ioseph were but the supposed father of Iesus yet because he was the husband of Mary the mother of Iesus he had this honour giuen him to giue the name vnto her childe Whereas in Scripture it is sometimes said that the mothers named their children as Leah Rahel and others it is vpon the forenamed ground to be supposed that they had their husbands consent 2. For appointing place and mariage it is noted that Rebekah asked the consent of her husband though she told her sonne Iaakob that he should goe to Haran to his vncle Laban to be there kept in safety from the fury of Esau yet she would not send him till Isaak had giuen his consent for his abode there and taking a wife from thence 3. For deputing vnto a calling it is noted of Annah that though before her childe was borne she had by solemne vow dedicated him to the Lord yet when the childe was borne she asked her husbands consent about it 4. That which is noted of Annahs carrying a little coat to her sonne yeare by yeare when she went vp with her husband sheweth that she did it not without her husbands consent Women are for the most part prone to pranke vp their children aboue their husbands place and calling and therefore good reason that therein they should be gouerned by their husbands Obiect What if husbands be more forward to haue their children attired vainly and vnseemely then wiues Answ A wife must doe what she can to hinder it if she can no way preuaile with him she by reason of her subiection is much more excused then he could be if he would suffer his wife therein to haue her will 5. The law that layeth the charge vpon husbands to giue such and such portions to his children and the answerable practise of husbands from time to time shew that the wife of her selfe hath not power to order them §. 40. Of a wiues subiection to her husband about ordering seruants and beasts If wiues must haue their husbands consent in ordering and disposing of their children which come out of her wombe much more of their seruants They may not take in or thrust out seruants against their husbands minde In this point as in many other Sarah manifested her wiue-like obedience in that she would not deale roughly with her maid though she were prouoked much lesse put her out of doores till she had made the matter knowne to her husband Though she failed in the manner yet in the thing it selfe she is a good example It is further noted and approued in the Shunemite that she asked her husbands consent about sending a seruant with her My meaning is not that such wiues as haue seruants allowed them to attend vpon them should aske their husbands consent whensoeuer they haue occasion to vse them for their husbands by allowing them men for their attendance manifest their will and consent that they may vse them as they see occasion but that they should not vse and imploy their seruants in such things as they know their husbands would dislike except they can gaine their husbands consent Against those particulars of children and seruants it may be obiected that wiues are parents of their children as well as husbands and mistresses of seruants as well as they masters and therefore haue altogether as great power ouer them as their husbands Answ Indeed if the authority of the husband come not betweene that may be granted in relation betwixt her and them but her power being subordinate to her husbands in relation to him she hath not so great
to the Church as Spouse Loue Doue with the like I doe not deny but that in the Song of Salomon and in other places of Scripture many titles are giuen and speeches vsed by Christ to the Church which are not meet to be vsed by husbands to their wiues because they are metaphoricall and hyperbolicall but yet in them all we may obserue tokens of amiablenesse kindnesse and mildnesse which is the end for which I haue alledged his example But contrary are such titles as on the one side set the wife in too high a place ouer her husband as Lady Mistresse Dame Mother c. And on the other side set her in too meane a rancke as woman wench c. And their Christian names contracted as Sal Mal Besse Nan. c. and names of kindred as Sister and Cosen and opprobrious names as stut drab queant and names more befitting beasts then wiues as Cole Browne Muggle c. Obiect These are titles of mildnesse kindnesse and much familiarity for husbands call their wiues by these names not when they are angry with them and displeased but ordinarily and vsually euen when they are best pleased Answ The mildnesse and familiarity which is required of an husband must be such as may stand with his authority and place of eminency as some of those names doe not and with that neere coniunction which is betwixt man and wife about all others as other doe not and with Christian grauity and discretion as other doe not Christians therefore must take heed that by their practise they iustifie not corrupt customes §. 25. Of an husbands manner of instructing his wife 2. To instruction the Apostle expresly annexeth meeknesse Instruct saith he with meekenesse those that oppose themselues If ministers must vse meekenesse when they instruct their people much more husbands when they instruct their wiues if in case of opposition meekenesse must not be laid aside then in no case at no time In this case to manifest meekenesse let these rules be obserued 1. Note the vnderstanding and capacity of thy wife and accordingly fit thine instructions if she be of meane capacity giue precept vpon precept line vpon line here a little and there a little a little at once oft giuen namely euery day something will arise in time to a great measure and so arise as together with knowledge of the thing taught loue of the person that teacheth will increase 2. Instruct her in priuate betwixt thy selfe and her that so her ignorance may not be blazed forth priuate actions passing betwixt man and wife are tokens of much kindnesse and familiarity 3. In the family so instruct children and seruants when she is present as she may learne knowledge thereby there can be no more meeke and gentle manner of instructing then by one to instruct another 4. Together with thy precepts mixe sweet and pithy perswasions which are testimonies of great loue Contrary is an harsh and rough manner of instructing when husbands goe about to thrust into their wiues heads as it were by violence deepe mysteries which they are not able to conceiue and yet if they conceiue not they will be angry with them and in anger giue them euill language and proclaime their ignorance before children seruants and strangers This harshnesse is ordinarily so fruitlesse and withall so exasperateth a womans spirit as I thinke he were better cleane omit the duty then doe it after such a manner §. 26. Of an husbands manner of commanding his wife any thing 3. The commandements which an husband giueth to his wife whether they be affirmatiue bidding her to doe something or negatiue forbidding her to doe this or that must all be seasoned with mildnesse For which end respect must be had to the matter and manner of his commandements In regard of the matter the things which he commandeth his wife to doe must be 1. Such as are indeed lawfull and honest 2. Such as she is perswaded to be so 3. Such as beseeme her place 4. Such as are of weight and moment And on the contrary the things which he forbiddeth must be 1. Such as are indeed vnlawfull to be done 2. Such as he can euidently proue vnto her to be vnlawfull 3. Such as are vnbeseeming her place 4. Such as will haue some euill and mischieuous effect if they be done 1. To command a thing vnlawfull or forbid a thing which ought to be done is to bring his owne authority into opposition with Gods in which case he bringeth his wife into this strait either to reiect Gods commandement or his How then can she thinke that her husband loueth her when he bringeth her into such snares and straits that she must needs fall into the gulfe of Gods displeasure or knocke against the rocke of her husbands offence Mildnesse is farre from such commandements 2. The like may be said of such things as to a wiues conscience seeme to be sinnefull if they be enioyned to her or her bounden duty if they be forbidden especially if she haue any ground for her conscience out of Gods word The conscience is subiect to God alone if it be forced it will be a fearefull horror and a very hell in that party whose conscience is forced She that doubteth is condemned if she doe that whereof she maketh doubt 1. Obiect In doubtfull matters the commanding power of a gouernour is sufficient warrant and ground to resolue the conscience of them that are vnder authority Answ 1. In things meerely doubtfull concerning which the partie in subiection hath not warrant out of Gods word one way or other it may be so But when the conscience doth not doubt and hang in suspence but is out of some ground taken from Gods word perswaded that that which is commanded is vnlawfull or that which is forbidden is a bounden dutie then to doe this or to leaue that vndone is to the party so perswaded a sinne and this is the doubting whereof the Apostle speaketh that condemneth a man In this case to vrge a wife to doe this or not to doe that is to vrge her to sinne which a milde spirit and louing heart will not doe 2. Though the husbands command be sufficient warrant to the wife and if he peremptorily presse her to this or that she ought to yeeld yet the loue and mildnesse required of an husband should make him so to tender her as to remit something of his power and when he seeth her conscience troubled about his command to releeue her conscience by for bearing to presse that which seemeth so burthensome to her A husband may sinne in pressing that too much vpon his wife which she vpon his pressing may without sinne yeeld vnto §. 27. Of an husbands wise carriage when his wife is erroneeusly scrupulous 2. Obiect What if an husband vpon his knowledge obserue his wife to be erroneously scrupulous and to misinterpret and misapply the word of
the aduice to the Queene 1. It is mystically to be taken 2. If it should be literally taken it is to be taken as giuen to her after mariage when she was out of her parents gouernment 3. It hath relation to the law of mariage â—nd implieth not a simple forsaking of parents but a preferring of a husband before them 4. For the louing of father and mother more then Christ 〈◊〉 It doth not necessarily imply a forsaking of our parents â—or we may loue Christ more then them and yet performe â—uty to them 2. If they be forsaken it must be in opposition to Christ that either Christ or they must be forsaken in that if we cleaue to them they will draw vs from Christ 5. For Christs forbidding one that followed him to goe and burie his father 1. It was because of an extraordinary calling which he had 2. It is set downe as a patterne to Ministers to shew that they should especially attend vpon their proper function and leaue other secular matters to be performed by such as can performe them well enough To apply it to childrens forsaking of parents is to peruert the sense of it Thus we see to how little purpose the forenamed arguments are alledged to proue that erronious opinion of childrens entring into religious orders without their parents consent I might further shew how irreligious their pretended religious orders be and so shew how vnlawfull it is to enter into them euen with consent of parents but that maketh nothing to the point in hand §. 15. Of the vnlawfulnesse of childrens trauelling and binding themselues prentises without consent of parents Contrary also to the forenamed part of childrens obedience is the practise of such children as trauell and seeke their fortunes as they speake without consent of parents like the Prodigall childe if not worse for it is likely that he forced from his father a generall consent in that he obtained of him his portion of goods These vsually bring great griefe to their parents and many times make them feare more then is cause as old Iaakob feared when he knew not what was become of his sonne Among those aberrations may be reckoned a custome in this land more vsuall then lawfull for children to binde themselues prentises without consent of parents to which fault they who take indentures of such children or otherwise couenant with them without knowledge of their parents consent make themselues accessary §. 16. Of parents consent to the mariage of their children II. That children ought to haue their parents consent vnto their mariage is without all question euident For 1. God himselfe hath giuen vs herein a patterne He first brought the woman to the man Gen. 2. 22. whereby he would shew that he who gaue a being to the woman had a right to dispose her in mariage which right parents now haue for from them vnder God children receiue their being In this case parents stand in Gods roome and are as it were Gods hand to ioyne their children in mariage 2. God hath giuen expresse lawes concerning this point To omit that generall morall law Honour thy father and thy mother which as it is the ground of all other duties appertaining to children so of this also the authoritie and charge which God by his law Deut. 7. 3 hath laid vpon parents to giue their daughters to husbands and to take wiues for their sonnes hath the force of a law to binde children from taking wiues or husbands without or against their parents consent This law was not proper to the Iewes only but as a branch of the morall law it is pressed vpon Christians 1 Cor. 7. 36. 37. To this may be added the iudiciall law if it be to be accounted meerely iudiciall of a parents power in giuing his daughter or refusing to giue her in mariage to him that had defloured her Exo. 22. 17. 3. Answerable to the law hath beene the practise of Gods Saints recorded and approued in Scripture Isaak married the wife which his father prouided Gen. 24. 67. Iaakob both obeyed his father in going to Labans house for a wife Gen. 28. 2. and also when he came to Laban asked his daughter of him Gen. 29. 18. c. Though Sampson saw a daughter of the Philistims which pleased him well yet would he not marry her before he had his parents consent Iudg. 14. 2. 4. These words of Thamar 2 Sam. 13. 13. Speake vnto the King who was her father for he will not with-hold thee from me shew that children were not wont to be married without consent of parents Which is further confirmed by this oath of the Israelites There shall not any of vs giue his daughter vnto Beniamin to wife Iudg. 21. 1. 5. The ancient fathers of the Church haue in their ages taught children this duty and pronounced mariages of children without consent of parents to be vnlawfull 6. The very heathen haue obserued the equity hereof Though Shechem loued Dinah and had defloured her yet would he not mary her without the consent of his and her father Gen. 34 3. c. Ismael had learned as much either by the instruction he had receiued out of Abrahams house or else by the light of nature for he stood to the choice which his mother made for him Gen. 21. 21. 7. Though Papists in other cases make the authority of parents to be of no effect yet in this case they count it vtterly vnlawfull for children to marry without or against their parents consent and haue thereupon made Canons against it 8. The law of nature and nations the ciuill and canon law the common and statute law of our Land all manner of law is agreeable to Gods law in this point 9. It hath beene a custome in all Christian Churches throughout all ages for the parent or some in the parents roome to giue the Bride to the Bridegroome at the time of the mariage whereby the parents consent is openly manifested 10. Many Diuines of good note and name haue iudged such marriages as haue beene made simply without or directly against parents consent especially if parents haue iust cause of exception against those mariages to be of no force till the parent be brought to ratifie them and in many Churches vpon due examination of the matter they vse to account them as no mariages Experience hath manifested the boldnesse of many children in setting light by their parents consent in those places where mariages once consummated are ratified and made indissoluble though they haue beene made simply without or directly against parents consent Many children thinke though it be vnlawfully done yet being done it shall stand Whereupon if they doubt of their parents consent they will cast how to get their mariage consummate so as their parents may not know of it to hinder it before it is done and after it is done impudently resolue to beare out as
to be too strict and precise or too suspicious and iealous or too couetous and worldly This maketh them take what callings what matches what apparrell what allowance they thinke best whence many mischiefes arise which would all easily be auoided if they would lay downe that presumptuous conceit and labour to obserue the forenamed direction §. 36. Of childrens yeelding to practise at their parents command such things as in their iudgements they cannot thinke very meet 2. Though children cannot in their iudgements thinke that which their parents require to be the fittest and meetest yet being pressed thereto by the peremptory command of their parents in practise they ought to yeeld vnto it saying to their parents as Peter to the Lord Neuerthelesse at thy word I will doe this Thus did Iaakob yeeld to Rebekah he thought by doing that which his mother bid him he should seeme a â—â—ocker to his father yet she vrging him he did it Quest May not a childe yeelding better reason then his parent refuse to doe what he thinketh vnmeet or at least forâ—eare to doe what he is commanded till he be better informed â—f the meetnesse thereof Answ With reuerence and humility he may render his reason why he thinketh it not meete and desire his parent not to vrge it vpon him This did Iudah one of the sonnes of Iaakob and is not blamed for it and parents ought in such a case to yeeld to their children as Iaakob did But yet if in things indifferent parents be otherwise minded then their children and will haue their children yeeld to them they must yeeld For 1. In in different things the command of a parent is a warrant to the childe by reason of this extent all things so as the parent may sinne in commanding that in doing whereof the childe may not sinne Who can cleare Rebeckah of sinne in commanding Iaakob to deceiue his father yet I take it that Iaakob cannot iustly be blamed for obeying 2. Children doe thus manifest an high esteeme of their parents and very great respect towards them they shew how desirous they are to please them and how fearefull to offend them When the will of parent and childe consent there is no such triall 3. By this meanes peace and loue is better preserued betwixt parent and childe a parents anger is stopped the effects thereof auoided and many other mischiefes preuented which oft fall out when inferiours refuse to yeeld to their superiours who haue authority ouer them Contrary is their preposterous peremptorines who will doe nothing against their own mind will though their parents require it neuer so much This phrase If thou wilt not send we will not goe downe which Iudah vsed to his father though in a good cause was too peremptory for a childe They who obstinately refuse to doe those things which are against their owne minde must needs come short of this extent Obey in all things Yea they shew that what they doe is rather for their owne sakes because they like it then for their parents sake What obedience then may that be thought to be Yet this is all the obedience which many children will yeeld If they thinke not that which their parents require to be meet nor faire nor foule meanes shall moue them to doe it whereby many children doe much prouoke their parents Let such children know that it is euery way more safe for them at the instant command of their parent to doe that which they conceiue to be vnmeet then peremptorily to disobey their parents which is more then vnmeet euen vnlawfull §. 37. Of the restraint of childrens obedience The restraint of childrens obedience is expressed in this clause in the Lord which phrase affordeth a necessary limitation in obeying their parents who are but parents of our flesh men and women subiect to erre in their commandements and to require such sinfull things as their children may not with a good conscience performe The limitation then which the forenamed clause in the Lord affordeth is this Children must performe no other obedience to their parents then may stand with their obedience to God The reasons rendred by the Apostle proue as much This is right this is well pleasing to the Lord. But to obey parents against the Lord is neither right nor wellpleasing to the Lord. If therefore parents command their children to doe any thing which the Lord hath forbidden them they ought not to doe it On this ground did Michal well in suffering her husband Dauid to escape out of the handes of Saul her father I iustifie not her manner of carying the matter with vntruths and false tales but her refusing to yeeld to her fathers minde and will is iustifiable and that in two respects 1. In that the difference was betwixt her husband and father Now by Gods law a wife is to yeeld to her husband rather then to her father 2. Because she knew her father sought to slay him if then she had deliuered him into the hands of her father she had made her selfe accessary to murder In this latter respect Ioâ—â—athan also did well in refusing to fetch Dauid at his fathers command Thus if a father command his childe to goe to Masse to forsweare himselfe to marry an Idolater to steale to lie or to commit any other sinne forbidden by God the childe ought not to obey those things cannot be done in the Lord. Againe if parents forbid their children the doing of any necessary duty commanded of God the childe ought to doe it notwithstanding the parents inhibition We may well thinke that Ahaz who set himselfe so violently to deface the holy things of God to prophane his ordinances and to shut vp the doores of Gods House gaue strait charge to his sonne that he should not repaire them againe yet Hezekiah so soone as he had power did repaire all If a parent forbid his childe to goe to the Protestants Churches to heare a Sermon to pray in a knowne tongue to giue iust weight and measure to speake the truth when he is called to witnesse it with the like he must be of Daniels minde and notwithstanding that prohibition doe the things which God requireth §. 38. Of childrens sinne in yeelding to their parents against God Contrary to this limitation is on the one side a flattering eie-seruice in many children who care not what they doe be it good or euill lawfull or vnlawfull so they may please their parents thereby and on the other side a slauish fearefulnesse which maketh them so to dread their parents as they feare not God at all they will rather choose to sinne and so prouoke Gods wrath then doe any thing whereby their parents wrath may be prouoked It is a brand set vpon euill kings that they walked in the waies of their fathers and mothers and did wickedly as they counselled them Wherefore the following and obeying of
dutie lieth principally vpon the mother who so soone as she perceiueth a childe to be conceiued in her wombe ought to haue an especiall care thereof that so much as in her lieth the childe may be safely brought forth The heathen Philosophen by light of nature obserued this to be a dutie and prescribed it to mothers A mother then must haue a tender care ouer her selfe when shee is with childe for the childe being lodged in her and receiuing nourishment from her as plants from the earth her well-being tendeth much to the good and safetie of the childe but the hurt that commeth to her maketh the childe the worse if it be not a meanes to destroy it Why was the charge of abstaining from wine strong drinke and vncleane things giuen to Manoahs wife but because of the childe which she conceiued In this case there is a double bond to make mothers carefull of themselues 1. Their owne 2. Their childs good Husbands also in this case must be very tender ouer their wiues and helpfull to them in all things needfull both in regard of that dutie which they owe to their wiues and also of that they owe to their children Why was Manoah so desirous to heare himselfe the forenamed direction which the Angell gaue to his wife and why did the Angell againe repeat it to him but to shew it belonged to him to see her obserue it They who through violence of passion whether of griefe or anger or through violent motion of the bodie as by dancing striuing running galloping on horsebacke or the like or through distemper of the bodie by eating things hurtfull by eating too much by too much abstinence by too much bashfulnesse in concealing their desires and longings as we speake cause any abortion or miscariage fall into the offence contrary to the forenamed dutie If women were perswaded that in conscience they are bound to the forenamed dutie they would I thinke be more carefull of themselues For if through their default they themselues or their childe miscarry they make themselues guilty of that miscariage if both miscarry they make themselues guiltie of the bloud of both at least in the court of conscience before God But they who purposely take things to make away their children in their wombe are in farre higher degree guiltie of bloud yea euen of wilfull murther For that which hath receiued a soule formed in it by God if it be vniustly cast away shall be reuenged So farre forth as husbands are carelesse of their wiues being with childe denying them things needfull they are accessarie to the hurt which the woman or childe taketh guiltie of the sin and liable to the iudgement §. 10. Of prouiding things needfull for the childe so soone as it is borne and of crueltie contrary thereunto The next degree of a childs infancie is while it is in the swadling bands and remaineth a sucking childe In this also the care especially lieth vpon the mother yet so as the father must afford what helpe he can The first dutie here required is that sufficient prouision of all things needfull for a childe in that weaknesse be before hand prouided What the particulars be women better know then I can expresse For me it is sufficient to lay downe the dutie in generall which is commended vnto vs in that worthy patterne of the Virgin Marie who though she were very poore and forced to trauell farre and brought to bed in a strange place where she was so little respected as she was not afforded a place meet for a woman in her case but was faine to content her selfe with a stable in a common Inne yet she prouided for her childe For it is said She wrapped him in swadling clothes Luk 2. 7. Contrary is the practise of such lewd and vnnaturall women as leaue their new-borne children vnder stalls at mens doores in Church porches yea many times in open field It is noted as a point of vnnaturalnesse in the Ostrich to leaue her eggs in the earth and in the dust in which respect she is said to be hardned against her young ones as though they were not hers Iob 39. 14 16. Much more hardned are the foresaid lewd women The Eagle is counted an vnnaturall bird because she thrusteth her young ones which she hath brought forth out of her nest Are not then such mothers much more vnnaturall They oft lay their children forth in publike places for others to shew that mercy which they themselues haue not The Ciuill Law iudgeth this to be a kinde of further §. 11. Of giuing sucke to children Among other needfull things the milke of the breast is fit for â—oung babes and with it they are to be nourished I thinke none â—oubt of the equitie of this It hath in all ages and in all counâ—ies beene accounted the bestfood that can be for young babes The metaphor which S. Peter vseth taken from young infants in these words As new-borne babes desire the sincere milke of the â—ord confirmeth as much So doth also the desire which such â—nfants haue to the milke of the breasts and the abilitie and â—omptnesse which is in them to sucke and Gods prouidence in â—using a womans breasts to yeeld forth such milke and the constant manner of nourishing little infants after this manner commended in the Scriptures and to conclude the naturall instinct which many vnreasonable creatures haue thus to nourish their young ones They who on meere curiositie where no vrgent necessitie requireth try whether their children may not as birds be nourished without sucke offend contrary to this dutie and reiect that meanes which God hath ordained as the best and so oppose their shallow wit to his vnsearchable wisdome §. 12. Of mothers giuing sucke to their owne children Of nourishing children with brest-milke there is no great question therefore I haue with a touch passed it ouer The chiefest question of doubt is concerning the partie who is bound to this dutie namely whether the mother be bound to doe it her selfe or no. Many strong arguments there be to presse it vpon the consciences of mothers and to shew that so farre as they are able they are bound to giue sucke to their owne children Some are taken from the light of Gods word and some from the light of nature Gods word doth in many places by iust consequence imply that it is a bounden dutie in other places it doth expresly commend it by the practise of holy women and againe in other places it taketh it for a granted truth and ruled case not to be denied 1. The consequences whereby the word implieth this dutie are these 1. In the blessing giuen to Ioseph thus speaketh old Iaakob God shall blesse thee with the blessing of the breasts and of the wombe By the blessing of the wombe what can be meant but children By the blessing of the breasts what but milke whereby those children are nourished As
childe he gaue in charge to the Parent so to name him saying to him Thou shalt call his name thus and thus It is also euident that the time of Baptisme is the fittest time for giuing the name Vnder the Law childrens names were giuen at their Circumcision and so vnder the Gospell it hath in all ages beene vsed and that for these reasons 1. That their names may be a testimonie of their baptisme 2. That so oft as they heare their names they may be put in minde of their baptisme 3. That they might know how by name they are giuen to Christ to be his souldiers and therefore there must be no starting from him 4. That they may also be assured that being baptized with water and the spirit by name they are registred in heauen Now because names are so solemnly giuen and of so good vse most meet it is that fit names should be giuen to children And for proofe hereof let the names which in Scripture are recorded to be giuen by God himselfe and by such holy men and women as were guided by his spirit be obserued and we shall finde them to be holy sober and fit names For direction to parents in this dutie I will set downe some sorts and kinds of names as be fit and beseeming Christians 1. Names which haue some good signification and among them such as are warranted by the Scripture as Iohn the grace of God Ionathan the gift of God Andrew manly Clement meeke Simeon obedient Hannah gratious Prudens wise and such like that thus their name may stirre them vp to labour after the vertue signified thereby 2. Names which haue in times before vs beene giuen to persons of good note whose life is worthy our imitation as Isaak Dauid Peter Marie Elizabeth and such like that the names may moue them to imitate those worthies 3. Names of our owne ancestors and predecessors to preserue a memorie of the familie which appeareth to haue beene an ancient practise euen among Gods people in that the friends would haue had Zachariahs sonne named Zachariah and when the mother had iust cause to name him Iohn they answer none of thy kindred is called by this name 4. Vsuall names of the country which custome hath made familiar as Henry Edward Robert William and such like among vs. §. 21. Of Parents care in bringing their children to be baptized in due season Though Christians are not so strictly tied to a set day as the Iewes were to the eight day yet from that strict direction giuen to the Iewes we may well gather that it is not meet for Christians to defer the baptizing of their children beyond eight dayes for a young childe of that age may with more ease and lesse danger be baptized then circumcised The most seasonable time I take to be the day whereon Gods people vse in the place where the childe is borne publikely to assemble together to worship God next after the birth of the child if at least it fall not out within two or three dayes after which is somewhat with the soonest both for mother and childe Whether we respect the honour of God the riches of whose mercy is liuely set forth in the sacrament of baptisme or the good of our childe which in that sacrament receiueth a pledge and seale of that rich mercy of God Baptisme is of great consequence and therefore the first season of performing it to be taken For parents by their diligence and due speed therein giue euidence both of their zeale to Gods glory and also of their earnest desire of the childs spirituall good §. 22. Of Parents faults in neglecting their childrens Baptisme Contrary to the forenamed dutie of Parents about well baptizing their children are many aberrations as 1. The corrupt opinion of Anabaptists who denie the lawfulnesse of baptizing children The arguments before noted are sufficient to stop their mouthes 2. The practise of Separatists comming too neere to Anabaptisme who excepting against the ministerie and orders of our Church doe what they can to keepe their children from that Sacrament And to that end carry their wiues ready to be deliuered vnto a strange place where they are not knowne and anon after they are deliuered priuily conuey wife childe and all away that so the Magistrate may not against their will cause their childe to be baptized and hauing no ministerie of their owne nor meanes to conuey the childe ouer sea keepe it many yeeres vnbaptized Where is the euidence of their faith in Gods promise of their respect to Gods ordinance and of their desire of their childs spirituall good Though it be a great wrong to children to be kept from baptisme yet the sinne lieth on such parents as procure not baptisme for their children especially at that age when their children cannot gainsay it 3. The peruerse opinion and practise of certaine ancient heretikes who in stead of baptizing children with water had them branded with an hot iron They grounded their error on a false interpretation of this phrase he shall baptize with the Holy Ghost and with fire Answ 1. They erre in taking this word fire literally and properly which was meant mystically and metaphorically 2. They erre in applying that to the outward action of a Minister which was meant of the inward operation of Christ By this their misinterpretation they thwart the maine scope of him who first vsed that phrase which was to manifest the difference betwixt all other Ministers and Christ Iesus 4. The opinion and practise of those who vse other formes of Baptisme besides this In the name of the Father and of the Sonne and of the Holy Ghost Their opinion and practise is grounded on certaine concise phrases vsed by the Apostles such as these Baptized in the name of Iesus Christ In the name of the Lord In the name of the Lord Iesus c. Answ Those phrases rather set forth the very substance and inward matter of Baptisme then the forme thereof 5. Their opinion and practise who care not by whom their children are baptized whether heretiques idolaters laicks or women Little doe they regard the comfort of conscience and strength of faith that ariseth from this that a lawfull Minister in Gods roome and name as Gods ambassador putteth the seale of God to his couenant 6. The practise of those as I know not vpon what nicenesse or state must haue their children baptized at home in their priuate house This manner of baptising taketh away much from the honour of that high ordinance which ought to be done with all the seemly solemnitie that may be 7. Their practise who bring their childe to Church to be baptised accompanied only with the Midwife and three witnesses It were almost as good be baptised in a priuate house for it is not the walls of the Church but the assembly of Saints that addeth to the honour of the Sacrament and is most of all
altereth a good constitution of body Some are so ouer-much tender of their children as if a childe neuer so little complaine or refuse the meate though for daintinesse or fulnesse the Physician must presently be sent for and the Apothecary sent vnto and the childe with supposed and apish kindnesse made much worse 4. Too much sport maketh them wilde rude vnfit to be trained vp to any good calling and spendeth their spirits and wasteth their strength too much Yet many parents care not how much time their children spend in sport and how little in learning they thinke it duls their children too much to be held to schoole or to any learning whereas indeed too much play infatuates them more and learning would much sharpen their wits §. 26. Of well nurturing children I referre good nurture in part to the temporall good of children because as afterwards we shall heare in the particulars it is an especiall meanes of the outward temporall welfare of the childe euen in this world Vnlesse this be added to nourishing wherein doe reasonable men and women exceed vnreasonable beasts the most cruell beasts that be are very tender as we heard before towards their young ones nourishing them and prouiding all things needfull for them till they can shift for themselues But as God hath giuen to man a reasonable soule an vnderstanding head capacity docility and aptnesse to learne so ought parents to make vse of those parts and gifts lest for want of vsing them in time they be lost and so children proue little better then bruits In this respect the prouerbe is true better be vnfed then vntaught Experience sheweth that good education is better then a great portion The Holy Ghost doth very much presse this point on parents as we shall after heare in the particulars For I will handle these three points 1. The kindes of nurture 2. The time when it is to be done 3. The meanes of well doing it §. 27. Of parents neglect in nurturing children Contrary to good nurture is too much liberty which oft bringeth much woe and vtter ruine vpon children it is the greatest enemy that can be of good education and the nurse of all vice Yet many parents care not to let their children liue as they list all the care they take is that they be fed and apparelled This is a common fault both of rich and of poore parents The rich pretend that their children need no education because they haue enough to leaue them not knowing that education is an especiall meanes to make them keepe and well vse that enough The poore pretend that they are not able to bring vp their children to any thing not considering that the Lord by his prouidence hath so ordered the affaires of men that as there are fit imployments for the greatest so also for the meanest which without much cost may be vsed The fault therefore wholly resteth in the negligence of parents And if thereupon children fall into any riot their parents shall answer for it §. 28. Of parents teaching their children good manners The nurturing of children before mentioned consisteth 1. In teaching them good manners 2. In training them vp to a good calling Not only heathen men and other moralists which were but meere naturall ciuill men but also the Holy Ghost himselfe hath prescribed many rules of good manners and much vrged and pressed the same 1. The word nurture mentioned by the Apostle in this text which we haue in hand implieth as much and the phrase which Solomon vseth Traine vp a childe in the way he should goe that is teach him how to order the course of his life 2. The many precepts of reuerencing our superiours and carying our selues with respect one to another are rules of good manners Hereof there be very many in scripture 3. Those rules are commended by many examples of holy men recorded in Scripture 4. Such as haue failed in the rules of good manners and rudely carried themselues are reproued by the Holy Ghost Neither is it without good reason that this point is so set forth For 1. Good manners are a very comely and seemely thing But it beseemeth Christians to doe all things decently That decency is not only to be applied to the affaires of Gods Church but also to the whole course of our life in which respect we are commanded to walke decently that is to order all our actions and the whole course of our life mannerly 2. They are a thing of good report and that both to parents and children Now we must doe all things that are of good report 3. They worke a kinde of delight and loue and admiration in those that behold them as is noted of the Queene of Sheba when she beheld the comely cariage of Solomons seruants and of the Egyptians when they beheld the orderly sitting of Iosephs brethren 4. They are an outward ornament to piety and religion and make it to be much more respected in which respect S. Peter exhorteth beleeuing wiues well to order their conuersation before infidell husbands and S. Paul exhorteth all sorts of christians to walke decently toward them that are without The Holy Ghost hauing thus vrged the point of good manners we may not thinke it a meere complementall matter and a needlesse point but a bounden duty §. 29. Of the obiections against good manners 1. Obiect Religion and grace consisteth not in good manners many that haue not a sparke of Gods feare in their hearts are able to carry themselues in their outward behauiour very orderly and mannerly Answ Though grace consist not wholly in it yet cannot grace well be without it it is a great ornament and comelinesse thereunto And though mannerlinesse may be seuered from a feare of God yet Gods feare will not be seuered from it Restraining grace may be in him who hath no renewing grace but renewing grace presupposeth restraining grace euen as reason presupposeth sense though sense may be without reason If such as feare not God can carry themselues comely and mannerly what a shame is it for such as seeme to feare God not to doe so shall not those be a witnesse against these 2. Obiect Good manners are an hinderance to grace they who are most diligent in teaching or practising the one are commonly most negligent in the other Answ This is a meere cauill Sure I am that grace is no hinderance to good manners If any make good manners an hinderance to grace it is their fault 3. Obiect Good manners to grace are as mint annise and cummin to the great and weighty things of the law Answ Grant it to be so yet seeing both may stand together why should they be seuered Christs rule is this These things ought ye to haue done and not to leaue the other vndone 4. Obiect Many that make great shew of religion are very rude and vnmannerly Answ If there be onely a
forced to correct such Heauy are Gods corrections and oft light on parent and childe both as appeareth by the iudgement on Eli and his sonnes for such parents make themselues accessary to their childrens sinnes yea also to the iudgements laid vpon their children God saith of such parents that they honour their children aboue God It is therefore a fond indulgency which maketh parents regard neither Gods honour nor their owne or childrens safetie Mothers for the most part offend herein who are so farre from performing this dutie themselues as they are much offended with their husbands if they doe it And to proclaime their folly to all the world they cannot commit their children to a Tutor or Schoole-master but with a strait charge that they correct them not Obiect Correction maketh children sots and blocks Answ If Gods spirit deserue to haue more credence then such foolish women that obiection is most false for we heard before how correction giueth wisdome and driueth out foolishnesse 2. Obiect Mothers may be the more borne with herein because with long trouble they did beare and with great trauell bring forth their children Answ That may be a good motiue for them to seeke the true good of their children that so their trouble and trauell may not be in vaine but not to vphold them in the broad way that leadeth to destruction §. 49. Of parents too much seueritie in correcting their children They who offend in the other extreme of seuerity of the two are the more vnnaturall parents they offend directly against the first branch of this text Prouoke not to wrath Nothing more prouoketh then immoderate seuerity for 1. It argueth no loue in the parent but rather hatred at least wrath and other such like distempered affections 2. It softeneth not the childes heart but hardeneth it rather 3. It maketh him dull and stupid and cleane peruerteth the right and true end of correction 4. It oft maketh a childe thinke of doing some mischiefe to his parent or himselfe That parents may the rather take heed of this extreme I will briefly note wherein excesse in seueritie is shewed It is shewed when correction is giuen 1. For no fault In this case though correction be neuer so light it is too seuere 2. For small faults in wrath and furie though the stripes be few and light yet the parents behauiour is too much seueritie 3. To children that are young and tender or soft milde and ingenuous as if they were in some yeeres the most obstinate and peruerse that could be 4. Too often for euery thing done amisse whereas parents should seeme not to see or heare many things which they see and heare 5. Too sorely so as the childe is lamed or some way so hurt as he shall feele it as long as he liueth §. 50. Of Parents care in prouiding fit callings for their children Hauing laid downe such duties of parents as especially respect the childhood of children I proceed to lay forth such as haue respect to their riper yeeres wherein they are to be placed forth Here we are to note 1. The kindes of those duties 2. The meanes of performing them  The kindes may be drawne to two heads 1. Prouiding fit places and callings for them to exercise their gifts 2. Prouiding fit mariages for them We heard before how children were to be trained vp and fitted to some good calling euen in their childhood Now further when by vertue of good education they are inabled to discharge the functions and duties of a calling and by yeeres they are well growne vp so as it is time they should be set to some particular calling Parents ought to prouide fit callings for their children and fit places for them to exercise the gifts which by nature or education they haue gotten For example If children haue beene brought vp in learning parents must vse what lawfull and honest meanes they can to settle them in such a place and course as they may professe and exercise their gifts according to their seuerall kindes be it Diuinitie Law Physicke or the like or if they haue beene brought vp in any trade to prouide that they may set vp as we speake and exercise their trade The two first children that euer were borne of woman Cain and Abel were placed forth in seuerall callings and without doubt their places were so ordered by their parents The like may be gathered out of these phrases Esau was a man of the field and Iaakob dwelt intents It is noted of Samuel that he made his two sonnes Iudges Had they beene as faithfull in well vsing their places as their father was carefull in prouiding them they might haue liued well themselues and done much good to others Ishai hauing many sonnes had a care hereof for he sent his three eldest sonnes to the war and placed them in a souldiers course of life his youngest he made a shepheard which was in those daies and places a calling of greater reckoning then now it is with vs. 1. Thus shall they make vse of that abilitie whereunto by their parents prouidence and their owne diligence they haue attained otherwise that abilitie may soone be lost Doth not daily experience shew that many who haue beene well trained vp by their parents in learning so farre as they haue beene fit to haue entred into the ministerie for want of place and imploiment haue in time so forgotten all as if they had neuer beene trained vp in learning and so in other sciences 2. Thus come they to doe much more good in Church or Common-wealth till men be placed in distinct callings they are but fitting and preparing for future times I denie not but that both Church and Common-wealth may reape much benefit by the paines and labour of the younger sort who are trained vp vnder others but most properly are they counted members of the Church and Common-wealth and actuall instruments of the good thereof who haue some particular distinct calling whereby they doe good to others 3. Thus they come to liue of themselues and to be able to releeue others also All the time of their education they are commonly at the charge of others at least though by their paines they may gaine much yet the gaine returnes to others they themselues for the most part haue but a bare maintenance meat drinke and cloth as we say little haue they to lay vp for themselues for the time to come or to giue to others for the present 4. They thus come to traine vp others against after times as they themselues haue beene trained vp whereby a continuall and perpetuall succession of all kindes of callings is from time to time preserued and thus Family Church and Common-wealth vpheld and maintained In short time would all callings and functions vtterly decay if a continuall supplie were not thus made §. 51. Direction for parents in prouiding callings for their children Two
wife to Iephthah Thou shalt not inherit in our fathers house for thou art the sonne of a strange woman Iust was that blame which Iotham laid vpon the men of Shechem for making Abimelech the base sonne of Ierubbaal King and iust was Gods vengeance vpon them for that wrong done to Ierubbaals legitimate children 2. If he be notoriously wicked Thus Ruben for committing abominable incest lost his birthright Many particular crimes are reckoned vp by the ciuill Lawyers which would be too long here to recite §. 71. Of the dutie of fathers and mothers in law The extent of this title Fathers is in the last place to be considered Not only naturall parents themselues but also all that are in their place are comprised vnder it As they who are in the place of parents 1. By the bond of mariage 2. By propinquity of bloud 3. By voluntary appointment The first sort are fathers and mothers in law who are so reckoned either by the mariage of parents themselues or by the mariage of their children That man or woman which is maried to a parent that had children before their mariage is in the place of a naturall parent thus Ioseph was a father to Iesus and Keturah a mother to Isaak So againe the naturall parents of that sonne that hath maried a wife or of that daughter that is maried to an husband are in the place of parents to the wife of their sonne and to the husband of their daughter Thus Iethro was a father to Moses and Naomi a mother to Ruth All these are to account their children in law that is the children of their husband and wife or the wiues of their sons and the husbands of their daughters as their owne naturall children and according to the age and place of these children to performe the forenamed duties and euery way to seeke their good except in such duties as after a peculiar manner belong to naturall parents as nursing to a naturall mother leauing the inheritance to a naturall parent For a patterne hereof take the forenamed examples of Ioseph and Naomi What naturall parents could doe more for their owne children then Ioseph did for Iesus and Naomi for Ruth The history noteth how Ioseph tooke care to haue his wiues childe circumcised and presented in the temple how he fled from place to place to preserue the childs life how perplexed he was when he thought the childe was lost how he trained him vp in his owne house The history also noteth how Naomi brought Ruth her sonnes wife into her own countrey and retained her with her selfe and directed her whither to goe and what husband to haue and became a nurse to her childe 1. Mariage maketh man and wife one flesh in which respect they ought to haue one minde and the same affections as mutually each to other so ioyntly to the children of each other On which ground also the husband and wife of a childe being one flesh with the childe ought as the childe to be respected On this ground God counteth the Saints his deare children because they are espoused to his naturall son 2. To respect the children of an husband or wife as their owne is a great euidence of intire loue to the husband and wife And to respect the husband and wife of a childe is a great euidence of loue to the childe it selfe If the worlds prouerbe hold true loue me and loue my dog how much more true is this Christian rule loue me and loue my childe or loue me and loue mine husband or loue me and loue my wife 3. This also is an especiall meanes to kindle and preserue mutuall loue betwixt man and wife who haue children of former husbands and wiues as also betwixt parents and children §. 72. Of the peruerse cariage of fathers and mothers in law to their children Contrary is the cariage of most fathers and mothers in law especially of those who are maried to husbands or to wiues that had children before mariage so farre they are from performing the forenamed duty as rather they enuy at the prosperity of their husbands and wiues children and secretly endeuour to hinder it in what they can and cunningly leeke to alienate the naturall parents affection from them whence fearefull tragedies haue beene made and lamentable mischiefes haue followed What other reason can be giuen hereof but a plaine instigation of the deuill who thus laboureth to disunite those whom God hath ioyned together For auoiding this snare note the mischiefes that follow from thence 1. Such parents sinne against Gods ordinance and as Eue leane more to Satans suggestion then to Gods direction 2. They alienate the hearts and affections of one from another not only from their children but from themselues 3. They prouoke their children in law to contemne and despise them and to yeeld no duty vnto them Hence note into what an hell vnkinde fathers and mothers in law doe cast themselues If this were duly weighed I thinke they would be otherwise minded But the god of this world doth so blinde their eies with selfe-loue and with enuy that they cannot see the mischiefes whereinto they implunge themselues This is a point the more to be weighed because the fault here taxed is so common and hath in all ages beene too common What grieuous complaints haue in former times beene made and still are made by children against fathers and mothers in law Whence also direfull imprecations haue followed Let widowers and widowes that haue children seriously thinke of it before hand and be the more circumspect in taking a second or third husband or wife and after they are maried let them take heed of Satans snares and let conscience of dutie more preuaile with them then corruption of nature §. 73. Of the faults of parents to their childrens husbands and wiues Many parents to the husbands and wiues of their children doe also much transgresse and swarue from their dutie for 1. They will shew much more respect to their owne children then to the children of their husbands or wiues as by comming to their daughters when their husbands are abroad and neuer but then and sending for their sonnes to their house but not for their wiues 2. In all differences they will take part with their owne children though it be in the worse part and shew great partiality 3. They will oft giue very ill counsell aduising their sons to keepe their wiues short aduising their daughters not to be too subiect to their husbands yea priuily to purloine from their husbands 4. If they liue with their children they will so prie into euery thing that their childrens husband or wife doth and shew such suspicion and iealously in euery thing as they cannot but cause much discord and hence it oft commeth to passe that either parent and childe or husband and wife must be parted