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A00316 Apophthegmes that is to saie, prompte, quicke, wittie and sentencious saiynges, of certain emperours, kynges, capitaines, philosophiers and oratours, aswell Grekes, as Romaines, bothe veraye pleasaunt [et] profitable to reade, partely for all maner of persones, [et] especially gentlemen. First gathered and compiled in Latine by the ryght famous clerke Maister Erasmus of Roterodame. And now translated into Englyshe by Nicolas Vdall.; Apophthegmata. English Erasmus, Desiderius, d. 1536.; Udall, Nicholas, 1505-1556. 1542 (1542) STC 10443; ESTC S105498 420,230 774

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fauoured or beautyfull stroumpettes Beautyfull stroumppetes Diogenes likened to sweete wyne tempered with dedly poyson he auouched to bee like vnto bastarde or muscadyne tēpered mixte with dedly poyson For that thesame caused in deede at the begynnyng delicious pleasure voluptee but euē at the heeles of whiche pleasures ymmediately ensued endlesse doloure and wofulnesse As he was makyng his dyner euen in the open strete when a greate noumbre stoode rounde about hym for the straungenesse of the sight and euer emong made a criyng at hym doggue doggue Naye ꝙ Diogenes ye bee doggues rather in that ye stand roūde about a māne beeyng at his dyner Diogenes called theim doggues y● stood rounde about hym whyle he dyned For that is one of the commen propretees that doggues haue When mencion was made of a boye in moste detestable abomynacion abused Diogenes beeyng asked what countreeman the boye was Made aunswer by daliyng with a woord that might bee twoo maner wayes taken and saied he is a Tegeate For Tegea is a citee of Arcadia Tegea a citie of Arcadie And therof is deriued a noune gentile Tegeates Tegeates a Tegeate or a persone of Tegea born And the greke vocable 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 is otherwhyle in one significacion Lupanar a brothel hous or a place where bawderie is kepte And therof the philosophier vsurped a woorde of his owne deuysyng or forgeyng called the boye a Tegeate of 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 for respecte of the moste abomynable vice with whiche he had been defoyled when he sawe a feloe now takyng vpon hym to practise ministre physike How Diogenes mocked one that from a wrasteleer fell to bee a physician who had afore been a commen dooer in the games of wrastleyng but in deede was a veraye slouche and a veraye dastard he saied vnto thesame wilt thou now by course ouerthrowe theim again that haue heretofore ouerthrowen thee A wrastleer is proprely saied to cast or to ouerthrowe any parti● whom he ouercometh putteth to the wurse And the physiciā also ouerthroweth those persones Two kyndes of castyng ouerhrooweyng or geuyng a fall whō he coucheth in bedde or bryngeth to their long home As for the menyng of Diogenes was that the partie was nowe as eiuill a physician as he had afore been a false herted wrastleer A mery ieste muche like to thissame there is in the poete Martialis of a feloe which frō a physiciā hauyng become a fighter in harnesse did none other beeyng Hoplomachus then what he had doen beyng a physiciā To a bastarde or basseborne boye that had a commen harlotte to his mother and was whurleyng litle stones emong the thickest of y● people at auenture he saied Take heede sirrha and beware l●st thou hitte thy father For he was born of a commen naughtypacke and by reason therof his father not certainly knowen Certain persones highly-magnifiyng and praisyng the bounteous liberalitee of one that had geuen to Diogenes a thyng what euer it was And why dooe ye not praise me to saied he that haue deserued to haue it geuē me For to bee worthie a benefite is more thē to haue geuē a benefite accordyng to that the sentēce of Publius Mimus To bee woorthie a benefite is more then to haue geuen a benefite Beneficiū dando accepit qui digno dedit Hymself by geuyng receiueth a benefite VVho geueth to a persone worthy to haue it To one that required of Diogenes restitucion of his robe or mantell The aunswer of Diogenes to one that had geuen hym a mantell and would nedes haue had it from hym again he thus made a woondreous feacte and pleasaunte aunswer If thou gaue it me freely I haue it if thou diddest lend it me I dooe stil occupie it Signifiyng that he was nothyng mynded to restore it home again whether it was of free gifte orels by the waye of lone for a tyme that he had receiued it It is shame for a bodye to require again that he hath freely geuen And it is a pointe of inhumanitee hastyly to snatche awaye that the occupier hath neede of and cannot well forbeare Supposititii partus are in latin called childrē that bee feigned or sembleed to haue been borne of that wombe foorth of whiche thei neuer came as for exaumple if a womanne should bee deliuered of a monstre or of a dedde childe and haue an other liue childe of due fourme and shape laied by hir in the place of thesame or if a woman should bryng foorth a wenche and thesame conueighed away should haue a manne childe of an other womans bearyng laied by hir in stede of hir owne or if a woman should countrefacte trauaillyng and labouryng of childe and haue an other womans childe laied by hir and vsed as though she had been deliuered of it hir self in veray dede that childe so impropreed to a wrong mother maye proprely in latin bee called partus supposititius as ye wold saye in englyshe a childe mothered on a woman that neuer beare it or a chaungelyng and suche persones are euer after called supposititii or suppositi Suppositus is also a participle of supponor sou●eth in englyshe laied vnder as a piloe is laied vnder ones hedde in the night There is also an other latin woorde indormire in englyshe to slepe vpon or to lye vpon whyle we slepe And it maye bee taken in twoo diuerse and in maner contrarie senses For we are saied in latin indormire to lye vpon or to slepe vpō our gooddes or treasure for safe kepyng of thesame and we are also saied in latin indormire to slepe vpon or to lye slepyng on a thyng that we sette no greate store by nor dooe any thyng passe on as a matte or a couche Howe Diogenes taun●ed a chaunge lyng who in skorne derisiō saied that Diogenes had golde sowed in the patches of his cope And in dede Diogenes vsed his mantell in y● night season in stede of a mattresse And so it was that when suche a chaungelyng as is aboue mencioned had saied to Diogenes in skorne Loe he hath golde in his mantell Diogenes laied the reproche veraye well in the feloes owne necke saiyng yea therfore supposito indormio Menyng the partie to bee a chaūgelyng therfore despiceable or woorthie to bee cōtēned wher as the woordes might in the grosse eare of the feloe soune also to this sense that Diogenes laied the mantell nightly vnder hym when he slept for safe kepyng of suche a precious iewell To one demaundyng what auauntage he had by his philosophie What auaūtage and foredele is gotten by philosophie though nothyng els saied he yet at lestwyse this foredele I haue that I am readie prepaired to almaner fortune good or badde This saiyng hath scacely any smelle or sauour of Diogenes although he beareth the name of it Beeyng asked of a feloe what countreemā he was What countree man Diogenes affermed hymself
Pryde maye aswell be in sacklo●has in riche araye whiche vnder a rustie a course a sluttyshe vesture hyden more pryde and ostentacion then the riche gentlemenne haue in their veluettes and fyne silkes This was verified in Englād also vntill the deiuil had his Mounkes Freeres Nunnes and other cloystreers again The cloystres were full of pryde ambicion and vain glorie To a certain persone woondreyng that he was not greuously moued in displeasure against one by whō he was shamefully railled at and reuiled Unwrathfully spoken He railleth not on me ꝙ Socrates for the thynges that he speaketh are not in me nor take any hold on me But the moste parte of people is euen for this veray cause the more tes●ie fumyshe if aught bee spoken against one hauyng not deserued thesame Good menne when thei bee eiuil spoken of are glad of their own behalfes that thei bee clere of those myschiefes whiche are putte vpon theim and laied vnto their charge Good menne reioyce that thei bee clere of suche mischiefes as bee put vpon theim nor dooe take it to bee spoken against theim no not a whitte more then if a feloe beyng deceiued in his yie sight should call Plato by the name of Socrates and should call Socrates all that naught wer speake all thee mischief possible against Socrates that feloe railleth not on Plato but on hym whō he supposeth that Plato is The olde comedie vsed cōmenly to make iestyng scoffyng at the citezens by name And because there came muc●e strif debate therof a decree was made that no māne should bee named to hys reproche and that was called the newe comedie The plain open speakyng of whō where many did feare Socrates saied to bee expedient that a manne should weetyngly willyngly come in the presence or waye of theim For if thei speake any thyng againste vs saieth he woorthie to bee rebuked beeyng told of it we shall emend it and so thei maye in dede dooe vs good but if thei shall spowte raillyng slaunderous or reprochefull woordes against vs no truth in theim it nothyng toucheth vs. Raillyng against vs wtout truth nothynge toucheth vs. Socrates after that he had within doores forborne his wif Xantippe a great whyle scoldyng and at y● last beeyng werie had sette hym down without the strete doore she beeyng muche the more incensed by reason of hir housbandes quietnesse and stilnesse powred downe a pisse bolle vpon hym out of a wyndoore and all berayed hym But vpon suche persones as passed by laughyng hauyng a good sporte at it Socrates also for his part The pacience of Socrates laughed again as fast as the best saiyng Meryly spokē paciently withall Naye I thought veraye wel in my mynde and dyd easelye prophecie that after so great a thoundre would come a rayne To Alcibiades greatly wondreyng that he could take so contynual paciēce with Xantippe in his hous The patience of Socrates● beeyng suche an vnreasonable scoldyng brathel I haue saied he now a long season been so well enured with suche maner geare that I am therewith noo more offended then if I should heare the squekynge of a wheele that draweth vp water out of a welle The scoldyng of brathels is no more to bee passed on thē the squekyng of welle wheles For that maner squekyng suche persones maye veray ciuil abyde as haue not been accustomed vnto it Custome easeth the tediousnes of incommodit●e● and he that dayly heareth thesame maye so well awaye with it that to his knowelage he heareth it not To thesame Alcibiades saiyng a muche like thing why euen your self ꝙ Socrates dooe ye not paciently suffre at home in your hous the cacklyng of hennes when thei make a clockyng yes I leat theim alone saied Alcibiades but my hennes laye me egges bryng me forthe chekyns And my sweete spowse Xantippe ꝙ Socrates bryngeth me foorth children Wiues must bee suffreed for bryngyng foorthe chyldren Some there bee that suppose Socrates to haue kepte in his hous two wiues at ones Myrtho and Xantippe Socrates had two wiues at ones Myrtho and Xantippe Therefore to a certain manne greatly meruaillyng to what vse he kepte two women at ones especially beeyng scoldyng quennes euer chidyng braullyng and did not beate or driue theim out of his doores thus he saied these women dooe teache me at home within the hous the pacience suffraūce which I must vse whē I am abrode forth of doores Beeyng exercised afore and well broken with the facions of these twoo I shal bee the better and more gentle to liue or to deale withal for the coumpaignie of other menne The demaunder of this question Aulus Gellius maketh Alcibiades Aulus Gellius a Latin writer of elegancies for the Latin tongue and of other many preatie rehersalles dyscussynges of diuers thynges When Xantippe had pulled awaye hir housbandes cope frō his backe euen in the open strete and his familiar coumpaigniōs gaue hym a by warnyng to auēge suche a naughtie touche or pranke with his tenne cōmaūdemēntes Merely spoken and paciently withal gayly saied ꝙ he yea Marie that while she I bee towzyng and topleyng together ye maye crye to vs one now go to Socrates an other hold thyne owne Xantippe For with suche maner woordes dooen the lookers on chere hertē twoo parties matched sette together by the eares But this wise māne thought better to shewe of hymself an exaumple of paciente suffreaunce then to shewe a gase or sight for folkes to laugh at in stryuyng or cōtendyng with his wife To one demaūdyng why he had and kepte in his how 's the saied Xantippe The gētlenes and pacience of Socrates beeyng a woman of suche condicions and facions as no man might well awaye withall or abide he saied that menne ought in like manier to liue with crabbed testi● wiues as thei that exercise practise theimselfes to the feate of beeyng good horsemenne Crabbed wiues bee cōpared to rough stieryng horses gette horses of feerse stieryng natures and of rough cōdiciōs whiche if thei haue ones throughly maistreed made to the bridle and bee hable at all assayes to abyde thei shall haue al other horses as gentle and easie to rewle as thei can desire And semblably he that hath learned to beare with the faciōs of a crabbed and testie wife shall with muche more ease bee hable to coūpaignye with al others He that ●an abyde a curst wife nedeth not to feare what coumpaignie he liueth in of what sorte so euer thei be When Lysias had rehersed and read ouer vnto Socrates an oracion Lysias was an oratour in Athenes a frende of Socrates and a māne as saieth Quintilianꝰ of swete and pleasaūt eloquence whiche he had made for Socrates to pronounce in the defence of hym self before the iudges It is a ioyly and an elegaunt oracion saied he but it is
Philippus sate at the portesale his garmēt or robe short tucked vp about hym muche vncomely And so it was that one of the captiues that was to bee solde cryed lowd voice Bee good and gracious lorde vnto me o Philippus and graunte me perdone for I am your frende and my father was an olde frende of yours And Philippus demaundyng in this maner how so good feloe and by what meanes is this frendshippe beetwene vs twoo come about If I maye approche nerer to youre grace ꝙ the partie I shall shewe you And beeyng herupon licenced and bidden so to dooe as though he should haue told hym some secrete mater in his eare the feloe saied Sir leat downe your cape a litle more about you for after this cutted facion as it sheweth now ye sitte woondreous eiuil fauouredly vnsemely for a kyng Ymmediatly saied Philippus leat this feloe departe free For I knew not til now that he was to me in veraye deede a welwiller a frende Beeyng so greate a kyng Philippꝰ beeyng a greate kyng was no thyng displeased to haue faulte found at hym he was nothyng greued ne displeased neither with the coulourable pretense nor with the faulte fyndyng or admoniciō of a feloe that was to hym a straunger of none acquaintaunce but did all vnder one bothe with mutual simulacion on his partie couer and kepe secrete the colorable dooyng of the saied feloe The beneficence of Philippus and also recompense that veraye siēdre poynte of kyndenesse with the greate and high rewarde of free charter and dimission when he stoode to bee sold as a bondeman Beeyng on a tyme by an especiall frende of olde acquaintaūce desired to a supper in gooyng thitherward he tooke with hym to bee his geastes a greate mayny that he happely mette on the waye as he wente But when he perceiued the partie which receiued hym into his house to bee sore dismaied for that the purueiaunce that he had made was nothyng nere enough for so greate a coumpaignie he sent a ladde aforehand about to euerie of his frendes then presente and bidde theim to kepe a corner of their stomakes for the tartes wafrie and ioūkettes that wer to bee serued and to come in after the meate Thei beeyng brought in ful beleef therof while thei gaped for tarte other like confecciōs fedde litle or nothyng on the other cates so came it to passe that the supper was sufficient to serue all the coumpaignie With this pleasaunt merie toye he both made his frēdes beleue the moone to be made of a grene cheese also found a waye to saue the honestee of hym that made the supper Hipparchus of Euboia beeyng deceassed Philippus by manifest tokens declared how heauyly he tooke his death Wherupon to a certain persone beeyng desirous to mitigate asswage his doloure Why Philippus so greuously and so heauyly toke the death of Hipparchus an Euboian and allegeyng in this manier well he is at a conueniente age and tyme departed beeyng now allreadie well strikē in yeres yea ꝙ Philippus for his owne parte in deede he is at a conueniēte age departed The liberall herte of Philippus but to meward long afore his daye For death hath by preuencion taken hym awaye before that he hath receiued at my hāde any benefite woorthie and meete for the frendship that was betwene hym me It is a veraye rare thyng in princes to feele the mocions and pangues of the graces but many noble menne vsen their frendes none other wyse but euē as thei dooen their horses As long as thei bee hable to dooe theim seruice thei sette by theim kepe theim when thei bee past occupiyng and dooyng any more seruise thei ridde dispetche their handes of thesame and shift theim awaye Yea and rather spoyle theim of that thei haue then dooe theim good or helpe theim with condigne benefites or preferremente When he had secrete knowlage brought vnto hym that Alexander his sonne found hymselfe greued for that his father was a getter of children by soondrie women he gaue vnto Alexander an exhortaciō in this manier The exhortacion of Philippus to his soone Alexander Well then sens it is so that thou hast mo feloes besyde thyself to stande in eleccion for to haue this empier to weare the croune after my deceasse so applye thyselfe that thou maiest at length proue an honest or vertuous and a weldisposed manne that thou maiest appere to haue achiued the croune not by me but by thyn owneselfe This manne with right princely wisedome and experiēce endeued did not with sweete wordes put his soonne in any cumforte but putte the same ferther in feare to th ende that he might the more pricke hym foortheward vnto vertue geuyng notice and intymacion that there was none other waye for hym to conceiue any hope to bee kyng after hym excepte he shewed hymselfe a mā worthie to succede in the croune neither to bee of so greate momēte to attein and geat an empier It is not of so greate momēte to haue an empier as to bee woorthie to bee a kyng as woorthyly to haue deserued to bee a kyng of a royalme He exhorted thesame Alexander that he should geue good eare attend well to Aristotle How Philippus exhorted his soonne Alexander to y● studie of Philosophie to whom he had been committed to bee broken and brought vp and that he should diligently applye hymselfe to the studie of philosophie lest that thou dooe committe and perpetrate ꝙ he many thynges whiche thynges in tyme past to haue doen it dooeth now repente me Right well perceiued this excellēte wise prince that no manne beeyng vntraded in philosophie is an apte and mete persone to bee a kyng A learned kyng an vnestimable treasure Neither was he ashamed to confesse that he had through errour dooen amysse in many thynges by reason that he had not euen from his tendre babeship been nousleed in the preceptes of philosophie For those persones who by their ownemere practise assaiyng experymētes dooe learne to ordre gouerne a royalme and to execute y● office of a kyng although thei haue euen frō their mothers wombe been of neuer so excellente high witte yet bothe ouer late and also to the greate scathe and ympechemente of the commēweal after long processe of yeres thei growe to bee good kynges But * Who commeth to the office of a kyng armed aforehande with y● preceptes of philosophie cānot lightly swerue from y● right trade of vertue who cometh to the administracion of a royalme armed aforehande with the holsome preceptes and rewles of philosophie if there bee in hym a mynde and herte with no spice of corrupcion entangleed it shall vneth lye in his power to swerue from the perfecte right trade of honestee and vertue Where been thei now whiche yalle and rore that learnyng and the studie of philosophie is vtterly nothyng auailable to the gouernaunce and administracion of a