these be Mih. Pray sit attend you will be pleased anon Gab. A still march now So I have lost a great many of my men But courage yet you poor remainder of my scatter'd Troops Stand Qni vala An Ambuscado of the enemy Alarme Lieutenant charge in with your Shot Now Gentlemen for the honour of Covent-Garden make a stand with your Pikes in to the short sword well fought take Prisoners Sound a Retreat now Faire faire i' th' coming off So 't was bravely perform'd Clot. Must we not fall to rifling now Colonel Mih. Part faire on all sides Gentlemen Gab. What 's this a vision sure I do aile something Cross. Is 't possible it is thou art thou run mad as far as hell the tother way now Rook. My wicked caitiffe reprobate son is here too Pray let me flee I am but a dead man else Mih. You shall receive no harm sir Lay by your Armes my Masters I bring none but friends Nick Thou canst not make that good my father 's there Mih I 'le make him friends with thee Go and dispatch within Ant. I 'le see it done and take our new made Brides with us for witnesses Ex. Nick Ant. Kat. Luc. Rook Has his shame yet taught him to shunne my sight Mih. And shall returne him instantly your comfort Rook. Unpossible unpossible Mih. Attend the event Cross. I rather thought I should have found you sir disputing with the Pastors and the Elders yet to say truth this is the better madnesse What can this mean how came he thus translated what Charmes or what Inchantments are upon him Gab. What Babel was a building in my braines But now it turnes and I can recollect The knowledge of a father brother Sister And that a thousand vain imaginations Like scatterings of light things upon the earth Rushes loose leaves sprigs straws and dust Contracted by a whirlwinde were blowen up And lodg'd in the rich Seat of Contemplation Usurping there the room of vertuous thoughts Honour awake me from this Lethargie Cros. What can those women that appear like furies be in this action Mih. They were but us'd as properties to give new motion to his mortified condition Cros. I know not what to say to any thing there is some Spell upon me too My anger has forsook me What are those men that bear a countenance As if they stood indifferently affected to Bedlam and Bride-well Clot. Meaning by us sir If our sight offend you Know we are men that dare forbear the place Capt. I son let 's go our stay is dangerous They look like Peace-maintainers we 'll fall off Enter Vintner Vint. O tarry Gentlemen we are all undone else If you make not your peace before you stir both you and I must suffer Capt. What 's the matter Vint. The Magistrates and Officers with their Bill-men have ta'ne us by surprise They are i' th' house Bett. O me the blew Gown Colledge Fran. Wheels and whips I feel what we must go to Did not I say our stay was dangerous Clot. Did not I say there was some subtile practice upon the Philoblatici and that we were betrayed hither Vint. There 's no escaping forth And Gentlemen It will but breed more scandal on my house and the whole plantation here if now you make rebellious uproar Yield your weapons and welcome Justice but like subjects new and peace will follow Clot. But where 's Nick where 's Tonie Mih. They shall yield up their weapons So do you Capt. Yes yes 't is best Clot. Shall we sir shall we Mih. Yes sir you shall Clot. So sir I will then not the Blade alone But for your more security the Battoon There see my Armes forth coming Exeunt Mih. Say they shall have faire welcom What are they married Enter Nick Dorcas Ant. Kat. Luc. Ant. Yes as fast as troth and holy words can binde 'em Mih. 'T is well Now sir let me entreat your favour 'T is my first suit to you since I was your son That before others entrances distract our troubled Scoene these may be reconcil'd Down Brother Nicholas Nick Even unto the earth sir and humbled with as true a penitence as son can be for wronging of a father I beg your pardon and blessing Cros. Give it him Brother Rooksbill I dare say 't will make him a good man Rook. Heaven make him so My blessing and my prayers shall not be wanting Cros. What my Neece Dorcas made an honest woman Gab. Was that the man that wrong'd my Cousin Dorcas Mih. Yes and has now made ample recompence Enter Cockbrayne Cit. Watch Madgeo Cit. Here they are altogether sir Cock Lay hands on all First on that old Ruffian the Incendiarie that sets the youthful bloods on fire here with his Infernal discipline Next take his sons there 's one that young Blade there Have I now got within ye Gentlemen will you have Songs ex tempore know ye me now a ha I 'le be call'd the Weeder of this Garden Take up those She weeds there I have the rank one here I took her stragling in my Round e'ne now Rook. My Tenant I take it Mrs. Margerie Howlet Cros. Your widow sir I think Mih. But for a shift sir now you know my aim Mad. O good your worship as you came of a woman Cock Peace Circes cease thy charmes What cluster have we here now O here 's another of the sons of noise Rook. That 's my son now sir by your leave and I 'le baile him Cook What Mr. Rooksbil are you here what woman 's this Cros. My Neece sir his sons wife And I 'le baile her Cock What Mr. Croswill you among this Ginge too How will you 'scape commitment Cross. Why Mr. Cockbrayne how his braines crow now Cock Who 's here your daughters too but what are these Cros. I hope they 'l prove my sons and be indifferent men in time sir by that time their haire may grow or be reduc't to an indifferent length Mih. That 's done on me already sir Cros. Now he looks as like a Rogue as e're he did again Gab. And sir for me now that my Cousin is restored and the wilde fury of my wine abated I do you the obedience of a son acknowledging my former formal habit was more of stubbornnesse then true devotion For which I beg your pardon Cros. There 's more deceit under these half Foot-balls then in whole Pudding-bags Well boyes be you indifferent sons neither too hot nor too cold I have found a fault in myself I confesse I will reform it and be an indifferent father Cock O here 's the man I sought whom I confess I am half sorry to commit with the rest because I found him civiller Ant. Hoping you will not stake that good opinion I 'le now come nearer to you And since here is such a convention of love and joy I hope my offering of a sons true duty may finde I Cock What my son Antonie Cross. How how your son that should
have had my daughter Come hither Kate now if thou lov'st him take him Are you content friend Cockbrayne Cock O sir most happily Cros. Why run you not together Ant. It is too late or needlesse now for me to marry her Cros. Is 't come to that and if I do not swindge him Are you too good sir for my daughter Ant. I do not say so sir Cros. Huswife do you like him Kat. No more then he does me sir Cros. Get you together or I 'le swaddle you both into one you perverse fooles Ant. Sir the truth is we are married already Kat. 'T is so indeed sir Cros. Heyday who am I trow how durst you do it vvithout my consent Kat. I had your consent sir you commanded me to take my choice in vvhom I pleas'd before you vvould take notice Cros. I cannot abide this vvrangling Give you joy Cock Joy and my blessing on you Why I knovv not vvhom to commit novv Cros. You have done the Common-wealth a special piece of service the vvhile vvith your State-braines But let us make a night of this I pray Cit. Sir the parties have given me satisfaction and I am content they be releas'd Cros. There 's an honest fellovv novv and looks like one that vvould be beaten every day for ready money Go novv vvhile ye are vvell and be seen no more in this Precinct All Never and 't please your vvorships never Cros. 'T vvas built for no such vermine Hence avvay And may the place be purg'd so every day 'T is no unvvorthy member may be found To pester or to vilifie this ground That as it vvas intended it may be A Scoene for Vertue and Nobilitie EPILOGUE T Is not the Poets Art nor all that we By life of Action can present on 't ye Can or ought make us to presume a Play Is good 't is you approve 't Which that you may It cannot misbecome us since our gaines Come by your favour more then all our paines Thus to submit us unto your commands And humbly ask the favour at your hands Another 'T is done And now that Poets can divine Observe with what Nobility doth shine Faire Covent-Garden And as that improves May we finde like Improvement in your Loves FINIS THE NEW ACADEMY Or the NEW Exchange By RICHARD BROME LONDON Printed or Andrew Crook at the Green Dragon in Saint Pauls Church-yard And Henry Brome at the Gun in Ivy-lane 1658 The Actors Names Sir Swithin Whimlby a melancholy Widower Suitor to the Lady Nestlecock Old Matchil a Merchant that married his Maid Gabrialla's Guardian Young Matchil his sonne Old Lafoy a French Gentleman Guardian to young Matchil Young F. Lafoy his sonne Mr. Hardyman Captain Valentines Father-in-law Hannah's father Strigood half brother to Matchil Valentine Askal son-in-law to Hardiman Hannah's half-half-brother Erasmus a young Gentleman his Companion and Friend Cash Matchils Prentice Nehemiah Nestlecock a foolish Gentleman the Ladies sonne Ephraim the Lady Nestlecocks Servant Rafe Camelion an uxorious Citizen A Footpost Papillion Two Monsieurs alias Philip Matchils and Lafoy's sons Galliard Frances VVomen Ladie Nestlecock a fond Mother Joyce Matchils Daughter Foster Sisters Gabriella Lafoy's Daughter Mrs. Blithe Tripshort Sir Swithin Whimlbies Neece Hannah Camelions wife Captain Hardimans daughter Maudlin Matchils Maid and Wife THE NEW ACADEMY OR THE NEW EXCHANGE Act. I. Valentine Erasmus IS this the entertainment you promis'd me in the Jovial Merchants house Is this the great interest you have in his huge hospitality when by half an hours attendance and intreats we cannot obtain the sight of him Er. I wonder at it Sure some strange disaster has suddenly befallen him He was last night the merriest man alive drank healthes told tales sung Catches Trowle the Bowle Tosse the Cannykin and what not and all for joy that his sonne he said was upon his returne whom he has not seen these dozen years since he sent him a little Lad into France to be bred there Val. I heard he did so and that in lieu by way of Exchange he brings up the daughter of the Parisien that breeds his sonne Er. Right Val. But is that daughter so exquisite a creature as is this Merchant Matchills own whom you so much extoll Er. They are both so equally handsome and vertuous that be their dowries so and their consents alike I 'll take my choice of crosse and pile for either with such a friend as thou art Val. Troth and that 's friendly spoken Mus Er. It is so Val yet not with some policie do I wish thee a fortune for insooth young Gentleman though I like your person and some of your qualities yet by reason of your wants I finde you something heavy on my purse-strings and my selfe scarce able to supply you And if we faile of good matches I must even turne you over shortly to the hopes you hoast of in your City-Mystresses and Tradesmens wives Val. Peace prythee hold thy peace Enter Cash Friend Cash Is your Master Mr. Matchill yet at leisure to be seen Cast He much desires sir to be held excus'd 'T is true that he invited you His dinner 's ready and his heart welcomes you But he has met with an unhappy newes to day Val. I feard some ill What is the matter Cash His only sonne whom he of late expected home out of France we hear is dead Val. His daughter will prove a bouncing match then Cash That 's the impression the heavy newes makes in you Gentlemen Er. Come let 's go Cash Nay Gentlemen although my Masters sudden sadnesse shuts him from you His meat and wine are ready There are some good company in his Parlour too Pray stay Val. Are his faire daughter and the French-borne Damsel there to be seen Cash Both Pray be pleas'd to enter I hope his passionate fit e're you have din'd will be past over He is not wont to suffer long under the hand of sorrow 'T is like that you shall see him ere you go Er. In that faire hope we 'll enter and fall to Ex. Val. Er. Cash 'T is like you shall fall short though of your aim At my young Mystresse who by this black newes Becomes my Masters heire and so the white That all the gallant suiters of the City And Court will level their keen shafts at Where Are mine own hopes then that stood as faire In competition for her love as any When the great noise of her inheritance Shall drown each Lovers tongue that cannot say It is a Lords at least I rather wish The young man had not did Enter Strigood Stri. Where 's my Boykin my Friskoe my Delight my Cash by what better name can I call thee Cash O me Master Strigood what make you here Stri. I come to comfort my brother in his sorrow His sonne is dead they say Ha! Is 't not so Cash And he is almost dead with sorrow Back sir The sight of you that are his sole vexation will make him mad Str. That is my
dead La. I well-said Neh. Bli. Yes it appears in your good breeding Your fine qualities expresse her vertues sussiciently La. How dare you Huswife talk thus to my son of me and before my face too ha Sir Swithen can you think well of me and suffer this ha Whim. Alas good Madam I am down again I know not what to think of living woman now La. Do you bring your Neece to abuse me Whim. I am so drown'd in teares that I cannot see what to say to 't Neh. Mother Amardla the more I look on her the better I like her La. Sayest so my boy Besides I have a conceit she can out-scold you and that 's more then ever woman did I think f'sooth La. For thee I do forbear her Enter Matchil Rachel Mat. By your leave my Lady Nestlecock I have brought a sister of yours here to salute you La. Though unworthy to be of your Counsel or at the Ceremony I heard you were married brother And by a Sisters name you are welcome Rac. I thank your Ladiship Mat. Sir Swithen Whimlby and your pretty Neece well met what affairs have you in hand here what do you cry for your old wife still or for a new one But heark you Lady Sister where 's my daughter La. Now for a tempest Truly sir I know not Mat. Is she not with you ha La. No truly sir She 's slipt from me with her good Uncle Strigood Mat. That Thief has sold her then into some Bawdihouse Was this your project for her education To steal my childe to make a whore of her Are you turn'd Lady-baud now for your Neece Because you have no daughter O the devil If there be Law I 'll trounce your Lady Hagship La. VVhat what how now do you taunt me sirrah ha Mat. I 'll make thee an example La. Thou hast made thy self an example and the scorne of thine own childe in marrying of thy drudge there and that 's the cause of her running away thou mayest think because she hates to live where she must call her mother that was thy droile Ra. Droile I think she said Mat. Speak to her I charge thee on thy obedience to speak to her Ra. The droile is now your brothers wife Madam and in that setting your Ladiships lavish tongue aside as good a woman as your selfe none disprais'd ha Mat. Well-said Rachel hold thine own Rachel And so to you sir Sw then Neh. Mother come away mother La. By and by my boy Rac. Do you presume to call me drudge and droile that am a Ladies Sister every day in the week and have been any time these three dayes ha Bli. That 's not every day in a whole week yet La. Thou shalt not dare to call me sister Huswife Ra. Cods so and why troe because a Lady scornes to be a huswife ha If you be no huswife I scorn to call you Sister I though my husband be your brother From whence came you troe ha La. I know not what to say to the bold-face Neh. Pray f'sooth come away I am afear'd she 'l beat you La. Thanks my good childe but do not be afraid my Lamb Ra. Boldface ha Her brothers wife s a bold-face but her face is not varnish't over yet like his Ladysisters face but it may be in time when she learnes the trick on 't and have as many flies upon 't though not so troubled with 'hem as a bald mare at Midsummer hah La. I know not what to say to her she has charm'd the vertue of my tongue Mat. I never heard her speak so much in all her life Sir Swithin nor half so loud hank heaven she has a voice yet on a good occasion And so farre I 'll maintain her in it Nephew Nehemiah when saw you your Cousin Joyce Neh. O Lud O mother f'sooth look you mine Uncle holds me Mat. Ah naughty man did a so gi' me a stroke and I 'll beat it ah La. Your wife has taught you to play the rude companion has she Pray take her home sir and let her discipline your owne childe if you have one and let mine alone You know the way you came sir or if you have a minde to stay here Come Sir Swithen come away children I hope I shall finde some other room in mine own house free from your assaults if not I 'm sure there 's Law against Riots Come Sir Swithen Mat. Not yet good Madam Nestlecock you shall hear me You have entic'd away then lost my daughter And now y' are a jugling with your widow wit And your small worme here to catch up for Gudgeons Sir Swithen and his Neece I know your plot She 's not fit match for you Sir Swithen and her son Much lesse for your faire Neece Come dry your eyes And look upon him and not only look But laugh at him I charge you Bli. I could now for him heartily Mat. Mark how his mothers milk drops at his nose while I shew you the mother and the childe He was her youngest sonne and all that 's left of seven and dreaming that he needs must prove a Prophet she has bred him up a fool Neh. F'sooth mother he mocks me oh La. O prophane wretch worse then thy brother Strigood Do not cry Nehemiah peace good boy peace So so Mat. A tender mother I must say she has been For till he was fifteen none but her selfe Must look his head or wash his pretty face For making of it cry Laugh at her good Sir Swithen And before that till he was twelve yeares old She would dance him on her knee and play with 's Cock Whim. Ah ah ah ah Mat. So well-said Sir Swithen Whim. Just so efac my mother would serve me ha ha Is not this better then whining Yes or perhaps then wiving either Rac. Do you say so Wh. Ha ha Mat. Well said Sir Swithen laugh on I hope I ha' done a cure on him by shewing him a more ridiculous object then himselfe to turne the tide of 's tears Wh. Ha ha Mat. Laugh still defie the fiends women and all their works Wh. Ha ha ha let the dead go and the quick care for themselves You buri'd your wife and cri'd and I buried mine And laugh which is the manlier Passion Ra. He knows not that he is married agen Whi. You are the merriest Merchant ha ha ha I think I shall not marry again in haste ha ha Mat. Well-said hold there And for your Neece Let me alone I 'le fit her with a match I know a Lad that 's worthy of her Whi. Ha ha ha Mat. He 'll laugh too much I feare Ra. He may at you For your officiousnesse Mat. How 's that Whi. Ha ha Ra. To thrust your self into unthankful offices In things concerne you not Will you turne Matchmaker For others un-intreated 't is enough For you I hope that you have match't your selfe ha Mat. Hah Do you hab or talk to me Ra. Who else Should talk or give you
have yet Dauncing to come and a Collation promis'd Enter Camelion Stri. Yes Gallants now w' are readie we but stayed for this fourth man here Val. O Camelion Where is your wife I hope your je lousie Locks her not up Cam. Pish Honi soit I hate it No she has been preparing of a banquet Which now is ready for you worthy Mr. Lightfoot And your faire company jealousie I defie The base horne Ague Mr. Askal I La. What does he call you Rascal Val. Askal Madam My name is Askal But the R in Master Runs into so that sometimes it sounds doubtful I must be Knighted Euphoniae gratia Sir Valentine Askal will come fairly off Cam. Now note me Mr. Askal and tell me if ever jealous man came so lightly off Enter Hannah Daunce Han. Sir your collation stayes Stri. 'T is well Gallants and Ladies Wil t please you enter Omn. Agreed agreed of all sides Ex. Omn. Act. V. Scoen. 1. Enter Lafoy Hardy Matchil Laf. INhospitable 't is inhumane past The cruelty of infidels Mat. Thou speak'st But thine own barbarous cruelty hollow Frenchman Laf. Abominable hypocrite Mat. Cunning Villain Har. Fie Gentlemen forbear this unknown language And either speak to others understanding If you speak Justice Mat. Give me then my sonne Laf. Thou hast thy sonne give me my sonne and daughter Har. Pray Gentlemen if you 'll not hear each other yet both hear me Mat. I pray Captain speak Har. You had his sonne to foster he your daughter You faithfully affirme you sent his sonne For England a moneth since Laf. And mine own with him Har. You have confest you put away his daughter Mat. And mine own with her through her disobeence But 't was upon advertisement by letter That he had first cast off my sonne to an Untimely death Har. Some Villain forg'd that letter And let me tell you sir though in your house Lafoy's an honest and a temperate man You are rash and unadvis'd what Lafoy speaks I will maintain for truth what you have done I wish you could make good But I may fear You are mark't out by your own wilfulnesse The subject of much woe and sad misfortune Mat. I know not what I am but did you know The number and the weight of my afflictions You could not chide me thus without some pity Har. Indeed I pity you and now y' are calme Know that Lafoy sent his sonne over with yours And but for some affaires he had with me I' th Isle of Wight he had embarqu'd himself With them and brought hem to you Mat. There 's hope then yet That my boy lives Hard. And is come over feare not Mat. You comfort me and now Lafoy y' are welcome Laf. But to what comfort having lost my daughter Mat. Lost or lost not mine 's with her And I purpose now to be sad no longer For I think I ha' lost my wife too there 's a second comfort Har. Take an example here Monsieur Lafoy And shake of sadnesse mirth may come unlook't for Har. I ha' lost a sonne too a wilde roaring Lad About this town And if I finde not him I doubt not I shall finde that he has spent me A hundred pound since I last heard of him By the way sir I sent you a bill of change Last moneth to pay a hundred pieces for me Mat. 'T was paid I have your bill for my discharge How now Ha' you found your Mystresse Enter Servant Ser. Nor tidings of her sir Mat. She has found then some good exercise I doubt not That holds her so Ser. Sir there 's a Gentleman Craves instant speech with you Mat. Who or whence comes he Ser. He will be known to none before he sees you And when you see him he sayes he thinks you 'll know him He 's a brave gallant one o' the Alamodes Nothing but French all over Mat. Fetch him me quickly It is my sonne Grammercie mine own heart That wast not light so suddenlie for nothing Pray Gentlemen who e're you see name no man To me unlesse I ask you He comes he comes Enter Cash I 'm grown a proper man Heaven make me thankful Just such a spark was I at two and twenty Set cloathes and fashion by He thinks to try If I can know him now But there I 'le fit him With me sir is your businesse Cash I presume You do not know me sir Mat. As well as he that got him Pray Gentlemen keep your countenances Not know you sir 'T is like I may have known you here to fore But cannot readily collect perhaps You are much chang'd by Travel Time and Bravery Since I last saw you There he may finde I partly guesse but will not know him yet Good Geutlemen say nothing Har. What ailes he troe Cash He knowes me I feare too soon If now my plot faile and he have a Counterplot upon me I am laid up Cash Do you not know me yet sir Mat. Know you or know you not sir what 's your businesse Cash You sometimes had a sonne sir Mat. Now he comes to me I had sir But I hear he 's slain in France And farewel he Mark how I handle him And what sir of my sonne Cash He 's dead you say Mat. I mufe the Knave askes me not blessing though Cash But to supplie his losse you have a daughter That may endear a sonne sir to your comfort Mat. Whither now flies he trow Sir do you know her Or where to finde her Cash First upon my knees Let me implore your pardon Mat. Now he comes home And I can hold no longer My blessing boy thou meanest Take it and welcome To a glad father Rise and let my teares If joy confirm thy welcom Cash I may not rise yet sir Mat. No why what hast thou done where 's young Lafoy My true friends sonne here whom I now must lock Up in these armes amidst a thousand welcomes Where 's the young man Cash I know not who you mean sir Mat. Distract me not Laf. I feare you are destraught I know not him How should he know my son Mat. Let me look nearer Cash Sir I am your Prentice Mat. Whow whow whow who my Thiese and Runaway Cash Prav sir afford me hearing Mat. Sir your cause Requires a Judges hearing Cash I have put me Into your hands and not without much hope To gaine your pardon and your daughters love Mat. 'T is roundly spoken Gentlemen I 'le tell you This gallant youth has gallanted away A thousand pound of mine Cash For your advantage sir For By this way Of Gallantry as you call it I have travell'd Through the Resorts and Haunts publike and private Of all the Gallants in the Town In brief I have found your daughter where she had been lost For ever in your brother Strigoods hands Mat. Canst bring me thither Laf. Is my daughter with her Cash Madam Gabriella the French Damsel 's there And others men and women whom you 'll know when you come
Tes. You will endeavour 't Come I 'le see it done Marry a man first and then endeavour To love him will you Ha! Is it but so I 'le see you love him presently So to bed Mil. What before Supper Tes. A posset and to bed I 'le see it done And cause you are so nice To bed I say there I will see more done Then I will speak Tell me of your endeavour Quick Be not so rough and stiffe with her good Uncle I know my supple tender dealing will Get more upon her love then all your chidings Tes. Such tender dealers spoyle young Brides and get Nothing of stubborness Down with her I say Now in her wedding sheets She will be naught else Mil. Construe more charitably I beseech you My Virgin blushes Tes. 'T is your sullenness Would you have brided it so lumpishly With your spruce younker that fine silken beggar Whose Land lies in your Husbands counting house Or the most part Mil. O my Theophilus Quick Indeed the better half not without hope To have the rest as he may want my money Tes. Would you have whin'd and pul'd had you had him To bedward think you yet to speak the truth And that wherein she has vext me a thousand times I never saw her laugh nor heard her sing In all my life yet she could both I have heard In company she lik'd Mil. It has been 'mong Maidens then But honour'd Sir I know what I will do To let you see and hear since you desire To have me shew a cheerfulness unto My reverend Husband Look you Sir I 'le kiss him Clap him and stroke him Ha my Joe ha ha ha c. Tes. Hey day Quick She 'l make me blush anon I think Mil. I 'le sing him songs too Tes. Whoop how 's this Mil. That I will chick old songs and over old ones Old as thy reverend self my Chick a bird Quic. She cals me chick and bird The common names With wives that Cuckold their old cravend husbands Mil. Shee sings She made him a bed of the thistle down soft Shee laid her self under to bear him a loft And ever she sung sweet turn thee to me Wee 'l make the new bed cry Jiggy Joggy Tes. What impudence is this Quic. Shee 's gon as far Beyond it now as it was to 't Mil. Now may you answer Shee sings Go to bed sweet heart I 'le come to thee Make thy bed fine and soft I 'le lig with thee Ha ha ha Quic. Is this your bashful Neece Tes. What canst thou mean by this dos this become thee Mil. Pray do not beat me o' my wedding might but tell me How this and half a dozen chopping Children may Become an old mans wife some five years hence Quic. O intollerabl Tes. Is 't possible thou canst do thus Mil. Let women judge T is very possible That a young lusty wife may have six Children By one at once in five years Sir and by One Father too I le make him young enough To Father mine Quic. Shee 'l make a youth of me Mil. She sings There was a Lady lov'd a swine Honey quoth she And wilt thou be true love mine Hoogh quoth he Tes. Do you hear gentlewoman are you i' your wits Mil. Yes and my own house I hope I pray be civil Shall we to bed Sir supperless you need No stirring meats it seems I 'm glad on 't Come biddy come away will you see Uncle How I will love him i'bed come away Quic. My edge is taken off this impudence Of hers has outfac'd my concupisence Dasht all quite out o' Countenance what a beast Was I to marry Rather what a beast Am I to be How now O horrible A sowgelders horn blown Tes. What hidious noise is this Buz. I cannot help it Ent. Buzzard While I went forth for the half pint of Sack To make your prodigal posset and the maid Watching the Milk for running ore forgot To shut the door they all rush'd in Quic. What they what all Buz. Vizarded people Sir and odly shap'd You 'l see anon Their tuning o' their pipes And swear they 'll gi'ye a willy nilly dance Before you go to bed tho'you stole your Marriage Quic. Outragious Roysters Tes. Call and raise the street Mil. That were to let in violence indeed These are some merry harmeless friends I warrant I knew I could not be so ill belov'd Among the batchelers but some would find Way to congratulate our honoured Marriage Quic. What with horn musick Tes. A new kind of flourish Quic. T is a flat conspiracy This is your bashful modest whimpring Neece Tes. Then let 'em in If they wrong us to night The Law to morrow shall afford us right Pray let 's resolve to se et Here comes their Prologue flourish Mer At a late Parliment held by the Gods Ent. Mercury Cupid and Hymen fell at bitter ods Upon an argument wherein each did try T' advance his own 'bove tothers deity Out of this question which might happier prove Love without Marriage or Marriage without love By the effects the tryal must be made So each from others Office drew his aid Cupid no more of Hymens matches fram'd Nor Hymen married those that love inflam'd Now mark the sad effects this strife begot Cupid his fiery darts and arrows shot As thick as ere he did and equal hearts He wounds with equal love But Hymen parts Their forward hands alas and joyneth none But those which his new match-Maker brings on Old greedy Avarice who by his spells In breasts of Parents and of guardians dwells That force their tendelings to loathed beds Which uncouth Policie to sorrow leads Thousands a thousand wayes of which the least Is this with which we celebrate your feast Tes. A special drove of horn beasts Enter four Masquers with horns on their heads a Stag a Ram and Goat an Ox followed by four persons a Courtier a Captain a Schollar and a Butcher Mer. These few are thought enough to shew how more Would appear horrible the town hath store The first 's a Lawyer who by strife prevail'd To wed a wife that was by love intail'd Unto that Courtier who had the hap Soon after to adorn him with that cap The next a country cormorant whose great wealth By a bad fathers will obtain'd by stealth That valiant Souldiers Mistress for which matter The Enginier his sconse with Rams did batter This an old Goatish Usure that must Needs buy a wretches daughter to his lust Doated and married her without a groat That Herald gave this crest unto his coat And that 's the Citizen so broadly pated Which this mad Butcher cuckold antidated Now by this dance let husband that doth wed Bride from her proper love to loathed bed Observe his fortune Musick strike aloud The cuckolds joy with merry pipe crowd They dance to musick of Cornets Violins The Daunce Exit Masquers Tes. How now all vanisht The devil take the hindmost Qui. The foremost I say and
to which he saies That is not to be fear'd while she has so Much fear of Heaven before her eyes And next That he would lock her up from sight of man To which he answers she is so indued With wit of woman that were she lock'd up Or had locks hung upon her locks upon locks Locks of prevention or security Yet being a woman she would have her will And break those locks as easily as her Wedlock Lastly for your access unto her sight If you have Land he saies to sell or Mortgage He 'le undertake his doors his wife and all Shall fly wide open to you The. He could not lay so Lu. Troth but t is like his wild way of expression Phi. Yes I knew that my wit else had been puzzl'd The. And now I find my self instructed by him And friends with him again Now Arnold any tidings Ar. Not of the gentleman that sought for you Ent. Arn. But I have other newes that 's worth your knowledge Your enemy young Arthur that has not Been seen abroad this twel'moneth is got forth In a disguise I hear and weapon'd well I have it from most sure inteligence Look to your self sir Lu. My blood chills again The. Pseugh I le not think of him To dinner sister ACT. 2 SCENE 2. Quick-sands Testy Millicent Qui. Here was a good night and good morrow to Given by a crew of Devils Tes. 'T was her plot And let her smart for 't Mil. Smart Sir did you say I think 't was smart enough for a young Bride To be made lye alone and gnaw the sheets Upon her wedding Tes. Rare impudence Mil. But for your satisfaction as I hope To gain your favour as you are my Uncle I know not any acter in this business Ent. Buz. with a paper Quick reads it Buz. Sir her 's a letter thrown into the entry Tes. It is some villanous libel then I warrant Sawst thou not who convai'd it in Buz. Not 1. I onely found it Sr. Qui. Pray read it you Not my own house free from 'em The devil ow'd me a spight and when he has plow'd An old mans lust up he sits grinning at him Nay I that have so many gallant enemies On fire to do me mischief or disgrace That I must provide tinder for their sparks The very thought bears weight enough to sink me Mil. May I be worthy Sir to know your trouble Qui. Do you know your self Mil. Am I your trouble then Qui. T is sworn and written in that letter there Thou shalt be wicked Hundreds have tane oaths To make thee false and me a horned Monster Mil. And does that trouble you Tes. Does it not you Mil. A dream has done much more Pray Sir your patience And now I will be serious and endeavour To mend your faith in me Is 't in their power To destroy vertue think you or do you Suppose me false already t is perhaps Their plot to drive you into that opinion And so to make you cast me out amongst 'em You may do so upon the words of strangers And if they tell you all your gold is counterfeit Throw that out after me Tes. Now shee speaks woman Mil. But since these men pretend and you suppose 'em To be my friends that carry this presumption Over my will I le take charge of my self And do fair justice both on them and you My honour is my own and i 'm no more Yours yet on whom my Uncle has bestowed me Then all the worlds the ceremony off And will remain so free from them and you Who by the false light of their wild-fire flashes Have slighted and deprav'd me and your bride bed Till you recant your wilfull ignorance And they their petulant folly Tes. This sounds well Mil. Both they and you trench on my Peace and Honor Dearer then beauty pleasure wealth and fortune I would stand under the fall of my estate Most chearefully and sing For there be wayes To raise up fortunes ruines were her towers Shattered in pieces and the glorious ball Shee stands on cleft asunder But for Peace Once ruin'd there 's no reparation If Honour fall which is the soul of life T is like the damned it nere lifts the head Up to the light again Tes. Neece thou hast won mee And Nephew she 's to good for you I charge you Give her her will I le have her home again else Qui. I know not what I can deny her now Mil. I ask but this that you will give me leave To keep a vow I made which was last night Because you slighted me Tes. Stay there a little I 'le lay the price of twenty Maidenheads Now as the market goes you get not hers This seav'night Mil. My vow is for a moneth and for so long I crave your faithful promise not to attempt me In the mean time because I will be quit With my trim forward Gentlemen and secure you From their assaults let it be given out That you have sent me down into the countrey Or back unto my Uncles whither you please Quic. Or tarry tarry stay stay here a while Mil. So I intend Sir I le not leave your house But be lock'd up in some convenient room Not to be seen by any but your selfe Or else to have the liberty of your house In some disguise if it were possible Free from the least suspition of your servants Tes. What needs all this Do we not live in a well govern'd City And have not I authority I le take The care and guard of you and of your house 'Gainst all outragious attempts and clap Those Goatish Roarers up fast as they come Quic. I understand her drift Sir and applaud Her quaint devise T will put 'em to more trouble And more expence in doubtful search of her The best way to undo 'em is to foil 'em At their own weapons T is not to be thought The 'l seek by violence to force her from me But wit In which wee 'l overcome 'em Tes. Agree on 't twixt your selves I see y' are friends I 'le leave you to your selves Heark hither Neece Now I dare trust you with him He is in yeares t is true But hear'st thou girl Old Foxes are best blades Mil. I 'm sure they stink most Tes. Good keeping makes him bright and young again Mil. But for how long Tes. A year or two perhaps Then when he dies his wealth makes thee a Countess Mil. You speak much comfort Sir Tes. That 's my good Girl And Nephew Love her I find she deserves it Be as benevolent to her as you can Shew your good will at least You do not know How the good will of an old man may work In a young wife I must now take my journey Down to my countrey house At your moneths end I le visit you again No ceremony Joy and content be with you Quic. Mil. And a good journey to you Exit Test Quic. You are content you say to be
lock'd up Or put in some disguise and have it said Y' are gone unto your Uncles I have heard Of some Bridegrooms that shortly after Marriage Have gone to see their Uncles seldom Brides I have thought of another course Mil. Be 't any way Quic. What if it were given out y' are run away Out of a detestation of your match Mil. 'T would pull a blot upon my reputation Quic. When they consider my unworthiness 'T will give it credit They 'l commend you for it Mil. You speak well for your self Quic. I speak as they 'l speak Mil. Well let it be so then I am content Quic. Wee 'l put this instantly in act The rest As for disguise or privacy in my house You 'll leave to me Mil. All Sir to your dispose Provided still you urge not to infringe My vow concerning my virginity Quic. T is the least thing I think on I will not offer at it till your time Mil. Why here 's a happiness in a husband now exeunt ACT 2. SCENE 3. Dionysia Rafe Dio. Thou tell'st me things that truth never came near Ra. T is perfect truth you may believe it Lady Dio. Maintain't but in one sillable more I le tear Thy mischievious tongue out Ra. Fit reward for Tell-troths But that 's not the reward you promis'd me For watching of your brothers actions You said forsooth if 't please you to remember That you would love me for it Dio. Arrogant Rascal I bad thee bring account of what he did Against his enemy and thou reportst He took his enemies danger on himself And help't to rescue him whose bloody father Kild ours Can truth or common reason claim A part in this report My brother doe 't Or draw a sword to help Theophilus Ra. T is not for any spight I ow my Master But for my itch at her that I do this I am strangely taken Such brave spirited women Have cherish'd strong back'd servingmen ere now Dio. Why dost not get thee from my sight false fellow Ra. I le be believed first Therefore pray have patience To peruse that gives her a paper Dio. My brothers charecter Theophilus sisters name The brighter Lucy So often written nothing but her name But change of attributes one serves not twice Blessed divine Illustrious all perfection And so heaven bless me powerful in one place The worst thing I read yet heap of all vertues Bright shining and all these ascrib'd to Lucy O I could curse thee now for being so just Would thou had'st belied him still Ra. I nere belied him I Dio. O mischief of affection Monstrous horrid It shall not pass so quietly Nay stay Ra. Shee 'l cut my throat I fear Dio. Thou art a faithful servant Ra. It may do yet To you I am sweet Lady and to my master In true construction he is his friend I think That finds his follies out to have them cur'd Which you have onely the true spirit to do Dio. How I do love thee now Ra. And your love Mistress Brave sprightly Mistress is the steeple top Or rather Weathercock o'top of that To which aspires my lifes ambition Dio. How didst thou get this paper Ra. Amongst many Of his rare twelve-moneths melancholy works That lie in 's study Mistress t is apparent His melancholy all this while has been More for her Love then for his fathers death Dio. Thou hast my love for ever Ra. Some small token In earnest of it Mistress would be felt He offers to kiss her she strikes him Dio. Take that in earnest then Ra. It is a sure one And the most feeling pledge she could have given For she is a virago And I have read That your viragoes use to strike all those They mean to lie with And from thence t is taken That your brave active women are call'd strikers Dio. Set me that chair Ra. The warm touch of my flesh Already works in her I shall be set To better work immediately I am prevented A way and be not seen Be sure I love thee Enter Arthur Ra. A ha This clinches Another time I 'm sure on 't Exit Ar. Sister where are you How now not well or She sits Dio. Sick brother sick at heart oh sleepy Ar. Passion of heart where are our servants now To run for doctors ho Dio. Pray stay and hear me Her 's no work for them They 'l find a master here Too powerful for the strength of all their knowledge Ar. What at thy heart Dio. Yes brother at my heart Too scornful to be dispossest by them Ar. What may that proud grief be good sister name it Dio. It grieves me more to name it then to suffer 't Since I have endur'd the worst on 't and prov'd constant To sufferance and silence t were a weakness Now to betray a sorrow by a name More fit to be severely felt then known Ar. Indeed I 'le know it Dio. Rather let me die Then so afflict your understanding Sir Ar. It shall not afflict me Dio. I know you 'l chide me for 't Ar. Indeed you wrong me now Can I chide you Dio. If you be true and honest you must do 't And hartily Ar. You tax me nearly there Dio. And that 's the physick must help me or nothing Ar. With grief I go about to cure a grief then Now speak it boldly Sister Dio. Noble Physitian It is Ar. It is what is it If you love me speak Dio. T is love and I beseech thee spare me not Ar. Alas dear sister canst thou think that love Deserves a chiding in a gentle breast Dio. Do you pitty me already O faint man That tremblest but at opening of a wound What hope is there of thee to search and dress it But I am in thy hands and forc'd to try thee I love Theophilus Ar. Ha! Dio. Theophilus brother His son that slew our father Ther 's a love O more then time 't were look'd for fear it festers Ar. She has put me to 't indeed What must I do She has a violent spirit so has he And though I wish most seriously the match Whereby to work mine own with his fair Sister The danger yet in the negotiation May quite destroy my course spoyle all my hopes I le therefore put her off on 't if I can Dio. Can you be tender now Ar. What! To undo you I love you not so slightly Pardon me A rough hand must be us'd For here 's a wound Must not be gently touch'd you perish then Under a Brothers pitty Pray sit quiet For you must suffer all Dio. I 'le strive to do it Ar. To love the Son of him that slew your Father To say it shews unlovingness of nature Forgetfulness in blood were all but shallow To the great depth of danger your fault stands in It rather justifies the act it self And commends that down to posterity By your blood-cherishing embraces Children Born of your body will instead of tears By your example offer a thankful joy
is fit I have a Maid for private service My breeding has not been to serve my self Exit Mil. Quic. Trust to my care for that One knock In in Is it to me your business Enter Phillis like a Cook-maid Phi. Yea if you Be Master Quick-sands Sir the Masters worship Here o' the house Quic. I am so What 's your business Phi. 'T is upon that Sir I would speak Sir hoping That you will pardon my presumptuousness I am a Mother that do lack a service Quic. You have said enough I 'le entertain no Mothers A good Maid servant knew I where to find one Phi. He is a knave and like your worship that Dares say I am no Maid and for a servant It ill becomes poor folks to praise themselves But I were held a tydie one at home Quic. O th' art a Norfolk woman cry thee mercy Where Maids are Mothers and Mothers are Maids Phi. I have friends i' th' City that will pass their words For my good bearing Quic. Hast thou Phi. Yes indeed Sir I have a Cousen that is a Retorney Of Lyons-Inn that will not see me wrong'd And an old Aunt in Muggle-street a Mid-wife That knows what 's what as well's another woman Qui. But where about in Norfolk wert thou bred Phi. At Thripperstown Sir near the City of Norwich Quick where they live much by spinning with the Rocks Phi. Thripping they call it Sir Quic. Dost thou not know one Hulverhead that keeps An Innocent in 's house Phi. There are but few innocents i' the countrey Sr. They are given too much to law for that what should That Hulverhead be a councellor Sir Quic. No a husband man Phi. Truly I know none Quic. I am glad she do's not How knew'st thou I wanted A servant Phi. At an old wives house in Bow-lane That places servants where a maid came in You put away to day Quic. All and what said she Phi. Truly to speak the best and worst forsooth She said her fault deserv'd her punishment For letting of her Mistress run away Quic. The nevves goes current I am glad o'th at Phi. And that you were a very strict hard man But very just in all your promises And such a master vvould I serve to chuse Quic. This innocent countrey Mother takes me Her looks speak Wholesomness and that old vvoman That Bovv lane purveyor hath fitted me With serviceable ware these dozen years I 'le keep her at the least this Gander moneth While my fair vvife lies in of her black face And virgin vovv in hope she 's for my turn Lust vvhen it is restrained the more t vvil burn Phi. May I make bold to crave your ansvver Sir Quic. Come in I 'le talk vvith you Exit Phi. Prosper novv my plot And hulk thou art tvvixt vvind and vvater shot Exit ACT 3. SCENE 2. Nathaniel Vincent Edmond Buzzard Boy Y' are welcome Gentlemen Nat. Let 's ha' good wine Boy that must be our welcome Boy You shall you shall Sir Within Ambrose Ambrose Boy Here here anon anon by and by I come I come Ex. Jerom Jerom draw a quart of the best Canary into the Apollo Buz. This is a language that I have not heard You understand it Gentlemen Vin. So shall you anon master Buzzard Buz. Your friend and Jonathan Buzzard kind gentlemen Nat. What excellent luck had we friend Buzzard to meet with thee just as thy Master cast thee off Buz. Just Sir as I was going I know not whither And now I am arrived at just I know not where T is a rich room this Is it not Goldsmiths hall Nat. It is a Tavern man And here comes the wine Fill boy and her 's to thee friend a hearty draft to chear thee fill again boy There drink it off Ed. Off with it man hang sorrow chear thy heart Buz. And truly ti 's the best chear that ere I tasted Vin. Come tast it better her 's another to thee Buz. And truly this was better then the first Ed. Then try a third That may be best of all Buz. And truly so it is how many sorts of wine May a vintner bring in one pot together Nat. By Bacchus Mr. Buzzard that 's a subtil question Buz. Bacchus whos 's that I pray Vin. A great friend of the vintners and master of their company indeed Buz. I was never in all my life so far in a tavern before What comforts have I lost Ed. Now he begins to talk Buz. Nor ever was in all my two and twenty years under that Babilonian Tyrant Quicksands so far as a Vintners bar but thrice Nat. But thrice in all that time Buz. Truly but thrice Sir And the first time was to fetch a jill of sack for my Master to make a friend of his drink that joyned with him in a purchase of sixteen thousand pound Vin. I there was thrist More wine boy A pottle and a beer bowl Buz. The second time was for a penny pot of Muscadine which he drank all himself with an egge upon his wedding morning Nat. And to much purpose it seem'd by his wives running away Buz. The third and last time was for half a pint of sack upon his wedding night of later memory and I shall nere forget it that riotous wedding night when Hell broke loose and all the devils danced at our house which made my Master mad whose raving made my mistriss run away whose running away was the cause of my turning away O me poor masterless wretch that I am O Na. Hang thy master here 's a full bowl to his confusion Buz. I thank you Let it come Sir ha ha ha Vin. Think no more of Masters friends are better then Masters Buz. And you are all my friends kind gentlemen I found it before in your money when my Master whose confusion I have drunk took your Mortgages And now I find it in your wine I thank you kind gentlemen still O how I love kind Gentlemen Nat. That shewes thou art of gentle blood thy self friend Buzzard Buz. Yes friend Shall I call you friend All By all means all of us Buz. Why then all friends I am a gentleman though spoild i' the breeding The Buzzards are all gentlemen We came in with the Conqueror Our name as the French has it is Beau desert which signifies Friends what does it signifie Vin. It signifies that you deserv'd fairly at your masters hands like a Gentleman and a Buzzard as you were and he turn'd you away most beastly like a swine as he is And now here is a health to him that first finds his wife and sends her home with a bouncing boy in her belly for him to father Buz. Ha ha ha I le pledge that and then I le tell you a secret Nat. Well said friend up with that and then out with thy secret Buz. I will friend And tother two friends here 's upon the same Ed. I hope he will shew us a way out of the bottom of his bowl to find
have no felicity like this If this be any thing Rash. Thou canst not see nothing Look well about thee man The. I see I feel I hear and know ye all But who knowes what he knowes sees feels or hears T is not an age for man to know himself in Rash. He is not mad I know by that The. If I know any thing you are my father Rash. Thou art a wise child The. And I beseech your blessing Rash. Thou hast it Millicont I have heard your story And Lucy you betwixt you sooth his fancy He will be well anon Keep 'em company Arthur And Lucy bid him welcome Lu. More then life Sir Rash. You Dionysia would be chid a little But Sir let me intreat her pardon Mea. Dry your eyes you have it Go instantly resume your sexes habit And with the rest be ready if we call ye To Quicksands house The rumour of our coming Already calls us thither to be assistant To justice Testy in a pondrous difference Kash. How does he now Ar. He 's fallen into a slumber Rash. In with him all I pray Ar. c. He shall have all our cares Exit with The in the chair Rash. Come my friend Meanwell Now to Quick-sands cause To keep it out of wrangling lawyers jawes The face of danger is almost made clean And may conclude all in a comick scene Exit ACT. 5. SCENE 3. Vincent Edmond Testy Rashly Meanwel Vin. Come we will hear this cause try'd Ed. See the Judges Have tane their seats while we stand here for evidence Tes. My worthy friends y' are come unto a cause As rare as was your unexpected coming From the supposed grave Rash. To th' point I pray Tes. How quick you are Good Mr. Rashly know Though I crav'd your assistance onely I Supply the chief place in Authority Rash. And much good do 't you I have other business Your Neece Sir was too good for my poor son Tes. How 's that Mea. Nay Gentlemen we came to end A business Pray begin no new one first Rash. Well Sir I ha' done Mea. Pray Sir fall to the question Test. Bring in the parties Ent. Quic. Nat. Phil. The first branch of the question rises here If Quicksands wife my Neece be dead or living Speak Gentlemen What can you say to this Vin. Quicksands affirm'd to us that she was dead Edm. Though since in a destracted passion He sayes she lives Qui. She lives and is that strumpet From whom I sue to be divorc'd Mea. That Moor there Did you wed her since your fair wives decease Qui. That same is she and all the wives I had That black is but an artificial tincture Laid by my jealousie upon her face Rash. This is most strange Nat. Braver and braver still I aim'd but at a cloud and clasp'd a June Will you be onely mine Phi. I have sworn it ever Nat. Then I am made for ever Test. Remove her and let instant tryal be made To take the blackness off Qui. Then if her shame And my firm truth appear not punish me Tes. However your consent to be divorc'd From Millicent is irrecoverable Qui. Before you all I le forfeit my estate If ere I re-accept her Rash. Then she 's free Tes. Now Mr. Banelass Nat. Now for the honour of Wenchers Tes. Your fact is manifested and confest Nat. In fewest words it is Tes. Are you content To take this woman now in question If she be found no Moor to be your Wife In holy marriage to restore her honour Nat. Or else before you all let me be torn To pieces having first those dearest members In which I have most delighted daub'd with honey Tes. This protestation Is clear without respect of portion now Or that she is my Neece For you must know She is no Neece of mine that could transgress In that leane kind Nor must she ever look For favour at my hands Nat. I am content to take her as she is Not as your Neece but as his counterfeit servant Hoping he 'le give me with her all about her Qui. My chains and Jewels worth a thousand pounds I 'le pay it for my folly Nat. 'T wil be twice The price of my pawn'd goods I 'le put the rest Up for your jeers past on my friends and me Mea. You are agreed Nat. To take her with all faults Enter Philis white Phi. I take you at your word Qui. Hah Nat. Hell and her changes Phi. Lead by the hope of justice I am bold To fix here fast here to repair my ruins Nat. The devil looks ten times worse with a white face Give me it black again Phi. Are we not one you know from the beginning Nat. Get thee from me Tes. Sirrah you have your suit and your desert 'T is your best part to pass it patiently Rash. 'T is Winloss daughter we have found the error Qui. I am confounded here Where is my Wife Tes. I that 's the point must now be urg'd The Law Asks her at your hands Answer me where is she Qui. I am at my joys end and my wits together Mea. You have brought her fame in question T is reveng'd Now you are in both for her life and honour Tes. Speak villain Murderer where is my Neece Qui. I have snar'd my self exceeding cunningly That quean there knows Nat. Take heed Sir what you say If she must be my wife Hands off I pray These are my goods she wears Give me'em Phil. For fear he snatch I le put 'em in my pockets Phi. Sweet heart my own will hold 'em Nat. Sweet heart already we are soon familiar Phi. You know we are no strangers Rash. Well Mr. Quicksands because you cannot answer To put you by the fear of halter-stretching Since y'have ingag'd your word and whole estate To be divorc'd And you good Mr. Testy If you 'l be willing yet that my poor son To wed your Neece as I shall find it lawful I le undertake her safe recovery Tes. I have in heart given her your son already Rash. And he has her already Ent. The. Mil. Ar. Lu. Dio. Winloss As for example see Sir Qui. See see the heaven that I am justly fallen from O may I yet find favour Mil. Never here Hadst thou not given thy faith to a divorce On forfeiture of thine estate which thou Dost hold more precious or couldst now redeem That great ingagement and then multiply Thy past estate into a tenfold sum Make me inheritrix of all and last assure me To die within a week I le not re-marry thee Adulterate beast that brok'st thy former wedlock In thy base lust with that thy servant there Nat. What a pox no I tro My wife that must be Phi. 'T was your own doing to put me to my shifts Nat. The devil shift you then you will be sure Of change enough Win. O shame unto my blood Nat. I will henceforward councel all my friends To wed their whores at first before they go Out o' their
Dis. Jus. Phila. Philo. Eud. Thy Pla. Geron. That hideous rumor of their deaths among His wilde idolators in hope to gain Election by their ignorance and rudeness Jus. 'T was well those factious heads were wrought to come Before the King to finde his clemencie And probabilily that these were living Dis. And how they then shrunk in their necks from Stratocles It has so laid the flames of his ambition That these may safely now tread out the fire Phila. Welcom again my princely Nephews welcom Phil. Thanks courteous Uncle Thy. You interrupt me brother Dis. Good woman cry thee mercy Mothers are such things Gar. Why what things are we mothers Dis. O the old night-piece with her dark lanthorne by her Gar. You 'l give us leave to take The comforts due unto us in our age For which we suffer'd sorrow in our youth Our children are our children young or old Dis. So is my horse my horse Gar. You have repli'd As Whilome did a Councellour at Law Who said his adverse Advocate had pleaded To as much purpose as a hen i' th' forehead Dis. Geron th' art welcom Thou still keepst thy humor Thy travels ha' not chang'd thee Thou camest home As wise as thou wentst out Ger. So Whilome said A miser having much increas'd his store He had as much still as he had before Dis. Enough I 'le give thee over Thy. O my dear off-spring every sight of you Is a new recompence and satisfaction For all the pain and travel of your birth In you your fathers memory shall live Beyond the malice of the grave and death And I when my rejoycing shall be full And cannot take addition freely yeelding My flesh to dust shall yet be blest by those VVho shall give testimony to your vertue Philar. T were a sufficient spur to noble actions To be rewarded but with your content Which to procure we make our businesse Thy. Philocles Your brow is clouded Has the Oracle Adjudg'd against you Pray let us partake The knowledge of the Delphian decree And which of you stands highest in the favour Of wise Apollo to be husband to Princesse Eudyna here the Kingdoms heir What speaks the Oracle Philoc. Such a Verdict Madam Requires an O Edipus to construe it I neither know 't nor am solicitous After the meaning Gar. Wisely spoken Pupil So Whilome answered an Aegyptian Porter To one demanding what he bore conceal'd T is therefore cover'd that thou shouldst not know The cases are alike Eud. Pray let us hear it Cannot your Tutor Geron play the Hermes T' interpret it Gar. I am not Aenigmatical But all for Apothegmes Besides I say As Whilome Aristippus of a Riddle It is not safe to loose what being bound Doth trouble us so much Gar. Let me come to 't Dis. Yes by all means For as one Whilome said The blinde are best i' th' dark Gar. My Lord your trumps Are ever shot at me Blinde as I am I perceive that And make much of your Riddle I know both what it can and will come to Better without the sight of it then all You can with all your wise constructions And so I leave you Thy. Not in anger Garrula Gar. Madam you know I know I must take leave To take a Nap Exit Dis. And Governour Geron wait upon your mother Trust our cares with your charge Ger. So Whilome said A School boy when another rais'd his top Let me alone my self can keep it up Exit Eud. And now let me entreat that we may hear The hidden sentence Happily so many May guesse at the intent Dis. She longs to hear Which of the two is prickt to be her husband Phi. Here it is If there be any thing Dis. Let me be Clerk I hope at least to read it Contend not for the Jewel which Ere long shall both of you enrich Pursue your Fortune For t is she Shall make you what you seem to be Apollo thy great wisdom hath quite fool'd mine Philo. Nothing but contradictions Thy. As how Philocles Philo. He commands here Contend not for the Jewel we agree Eudyna is the Jewel which shall both of you enrich How shall she enrich us both Can she be wife to us both Then here he bids Pursue your Fortune And we both agree Eudyna is that Fortune too she 's both The Jewel we must not contend for and The Fortune we must both pursue Then here He sayes t is she shall make us what we seem to be What do we seem we are no Hypocrites In flesh or spirit no phantastick bodies Or shadows of humanity Philar. No Delphos is but a den of jugglers which profanely Abuse divinity and pretend a God Their Patron to authorize their delusions Dis. Nephews the Gods had need be cautilous For what they speak if you may be their Judges Thy. What thinks good Justinius Jus. My Lords here 's two commands One that you not contend to gain the jewel The other that you both pursue your fortune Both these commands are thus to be obey'd Contend not for her as to violate Your unexampled friendship which you are Renown'd for ore all Greece And both pursue Your fortune in her without eithers grudge At tothers happiness in her choice Philar. Noble Justinius thanks Philoc. This we can do Philar. And for the happiness which we both aspire to We here confirm the friendship long since plighted Which never shall be broken by Philargus Eud. Noble Philargus Philoc. So vows Philocles 'T is not the cloudy language of the Gods Shall make our breasts tempestuous or stormy But with the same serenity and quiet As heretofore our hearts shall mingle still And fortifie their truce Let the event Expound their Ridle If good it is our merit If bad we know our vertue can correct it Mean time Philargus take the word of Philocles That though there be no happiness on earth I can esteem above Philargus friendship But fair Eudyna's love which onely is The treasure I can covet from Philargus And cannot look to live but to enjoy it Rather then justle with his friendship I Will die to lose it Eud. Noble Philocles Philar. You have made my vow my brother Philocles And friend which is above it I will seek And rather die then fail to gain her love But that and the whole kingdom in addition Must divide our friendship or affection As we are Twins in birth we 'le be in mind Unto our latest breath Let Greece hereafter Forget to mention the Tyndarides With their alternate Deities and tell Of two Thessalian brothers could refuse A happiness which onely is not Heaven In detestation of priority Would not be happy 'cause they might not share An individual both Time and Thing Eud. Love and ambition I have heard men say Admit no fellowship It holds not here These will have neither wife nor crown alone They each desire my love but neither can Enjoy 't unless he were the other man My love is doubly tane yet must gain
new plantation and sow'd so much seed of Knavery and Cozenage here that 't is fear'd 't will never out Nic. Nay but this creature What can she be Clot. And then again he drew such flocks of idle people to him that the Players they say curst him abhominably Ant, Thou ever talk'st of the wrong matter Clot. Cry mercy Brothers of the Blade and Battoune Do you think if I give my endeavour to it I shall ever learn to roar and carry it as you do that have it naturally as you say Nic. Yes as we 'll beat it into you But this woman this musical woman that set her self out to show so I would be satisfied in her Clot. And she be as able as she seems she has in her to satisfie you and you were a Brother of ten Blades and ten Battounes Nic. I vow Peace I 'le battoune thy teeth into thy tongue else she bears a stately presence Thou never saw'st her before Didst thou Toney Ant. No but I heard an inkling at the Paris Tavern last night of a She-Gallant-that had travelled France and Italy and that she would Clot. Battoun thy teeth into thy tongue write table Ant. Plant some of her forraign collections the fruits of her travels in this Garden here to try how they would grow or thrive on English earth Nic. Young Pig was speaking of such a one to me and that she was a Mumper Clot. What 's that a Sister of the Scabberd brother of the Blade Nic. Come come we 'l in we 'l in 't is one of our fathers buildings I 'le see the Inhabitants Some money Clot furnish I say and quickly I vow Clot. You shall you shall Nic. What shall I Clot. Vow twice before you have it Nic. I vow and I vow again I 'le coyn thy brains Clot. Hold hold take your powl money I thought I would have my will and the word I look-for I 'le coyn thy brains write I do not love to give my money for nothing I have a volume of words here the worst of 'hem is as good as a blow and then I save my Crown whole half a dozen times a day by half a crown a time there 's half in half sav'd by that Nic. Come let 's appear civil till we have our entrance and then as occasion serves Knock Enter Fran. Who would you speak withal Nic. Your Mistress little one Fran. Do you know her Sir Nic. No but I would know her that 's the business I mean the musical Gentlewoman that was fidling and so many in the What-doe-call't een now Fran. What-doe-call her Sir I pray Nic. What-doe-call her 't is not come to that yet prethee let me see and speak with her first Fran. You are dispos'd I think Nic. What should we do here else Fra. You wont thrust in upon a body whether one will or no Ant. Nic. Away you Monkey Fra. O me What do you mean Clot. O my brave Philoblathici Ex. omnes Enter Dorcas alias Damaris Madge Dam. What 's the matter the Girl cryes out so Ma. I know not I fear some rude company some of the wild crew are broke into the house Fran. Within Whether would you go you wont rob the house will ye Nic. Will ye be quiet Whiskin Ma. O me 't is so Hell 's broke loose this comes of your new fingle-fangle fashion your prepostrous Italian way forsooth would I could have kept my old way of pots and pipes and my Strong-water course for customers The very first twang of your fiddle guts has broke all and conjur'd a legion of devils among us Enter Nic. Ant. Clot. Nic. Nay there 's but a Leash of us How now Who have we here Are these the far travel'd Ladies O thou party perpale or rather parboild Bawd Mad. What shall I do Dam Out alass sure they are devils indeed Nic. Art thou travel'd cross the Seas from the Bankside hither old Countess of Codpiece-row Clot. Party perpale and parboild Bawd Write Ant. And is this the Damsel that has been in France and Italy Clot Codpiece-row Mad. Peace ye roaring Scabs I 'le be sworn she supt at Paris Tavern last night and lay not long ago at the Venice by Whitefryers Dock Nic. Prethee what is she Madge Mad. A civil Gentlewoman you see she is Nic. She has none of the best faces but is she warrantable I have not had a civil night these three moneths Madge Nor none are like to have here I assure you Nic. O Madge how I do long thy thing to ding didle ding Mad. O Nick I am not in the humour no more is she to be o' the merry pin now I am sure her case is too lamentable But if you will all sit down I 'le give you a bottle of wine and we 'l relate her story to you so you will be civil Nic Well for once I care not if we be A Table bottle light and Tobacco stales Let us set to 't then sit down brother Toney sit down Gentlewoman we shall know your name anon I hope it will fall in your story sit down Clotpoll Clot. You will call me brother Clotpoll too when I have taken my oath and paid my entrance into the faternity of the Blade and the Battoun Nic. 'T is like we shall Now Lady of the Stygian Lake thou black infernal Madge begin the dismal story whilst I begin the bottle Mad. This Gentlewoman whose name is Damyris Nic. Damyris stay Her nick-name then is Dammy so we may call her when we grow familiar and to begin that familiarity Dammy here 's to you drink Dam. And what 's your nick-name I pray Sir Nic. Nick only Nick Madge there knows it Dam. Then I believe your name is Nicholas Nic. I vow-witty Yes Dammy and my Sirname is Rookesbill and so is my Fathers too and what do you make o'th at Dam. Nothing not I Sir sure this is he Nic. And I would he were nothing so I had all he has I must have tother glass to wash him out of my mouth he furs it worse then Mondongas Tobacco Here old Madge and to all the birds that shall wonder at thy howletship when thou rid'st in an Ivy-bush call'd a Cart Mad. Well mad Nick I 'le pledge thee in hope to see as many flutter about the tree that thou shalt clime backwards Nic. A pox thou wilt be stifled with Offal and Carret leaves before that day Dam. Fie fie what talk 's this 't is he I am consident Mad. These are our ordinary complements we wish no harm Nic. No Dammy I vow not I to any breathing Mad. But your Father Nick Is he that Rookesbill Nic. But my Fathet Pox rot ye why do ye put me in mind of him again he sticks i' my throat now I 'le wash him a little further Here Brother Toney Ant. Gramercy Brother Nick Clot. And to all the brothers that are and are to be of the Blade and the Battoun Nic. There said you well Clotpoll Here 't is
Cros. Yes I mean so Gab. hum hum hum Psalm tune How happy Cros. But do thou say yes verily to that and as I hope to have peace in my grave I 'll break the Kings peace on thy pate presently Gab. It is a weighty question and requires due premeditation in a religious answer pray give me leave to take advice Rook. What sayes he Sir Cros. He sayes he will talk with a cunning man about her Rook. Sure you mistake him sir Vint. You are welcome Gentlemen Will Harry Zachary Goat names Gab. Zachary is a good name Vint. Where are you he rings the bell shew up into the Phoenix Is the Checque empty Cross. Hoyday here 's a din Draw A pottle of Canarie to the Dolphin score Vint. Y' are welcome Gentlemen take up the lillie-pot Knock Draw Half a dozen of clean pipes and a candle for the Elephant They take their own Tobaccho Pots flie clink Vint, Whose room do they foul Sirrah Harry Harry Bell Gab. Do Elephants take Tobaccho Vint. Carry up a Jordan for the Maidenhead and a quart of white muskadine for the blew Bore Run down the staires Cros. Now me thinks the muskadine for tht Maidenhead and the Jordan for the Bore were better Fiddlers below tuning Knock aboue and a pot thrown Why boyes drawer rogues take up below By and by by and by above Wine Tobaccho Cros. What variety of noises is here and all excellent ill sounds Above Call up the Fidlers Sirrah Gab. Such cries as these went forth before the desolation of the great City Fidling rude tunes O prophane tinkling the cymbals of Satan that tickle the care with vanity to lift up the mind to lewdnesse Mine eares shall be that of the Adder against the Song of the Serpent Rook. O rare in a young man Gab. I will roare out aloud to drown your Incantations Yea I will set out a throat even as the beast that belloweth Rook. Most happy youth Cros. Hold your peace Sirrah or I 'le make you bellow for something Enter Mihil Nick Mi. Sfoot-back Nick to your own room Thy father 's here too as I breath Nick I vow Ex. Mi. My Lucie too as I live How the devil got they acquainted Sure he 's his Landlord 'T is so Cros. Dare you come sir you should have stayed now till you had been sent for Mi. Verily sir Cros. Are you at your Verilies too ha Mi. But for displeasing you I had rather have graz'd on Littletons Commons or ha' fasted this fourtnight then come for my repast into this Wildernesse but you will ha' it so Cros. You are in the right Sir I 'le have it so indeed I 'le know why I shall not else What do you know no bodie here Mi. I crie them mercie my good brother and my loving sister Rook. But what vertuous men has this man to his sons and how they thrive in grace against his will it seems Mi. What Gentlewoman is this of your acquaintance Sister Luc. 'T is well dissembled brother but I know your cunning Mi. Have you betray'd me Luc. Mum Mr. Mihil mum Vint. Harry Harry Enter Drawer hastily Draw By and by Draw What devil art thou that roarest in mine eare so Beats the Drawer Draw Hold I beseech you I come to wait upon you Cros. What with a By and by that strikes into my head as sharp as a Stellatto Draw I come to tell you sir that your table 's covered in a fairer Room and more private your meat is ready to go up and all in a readinesse Cros. Now thou art an honest fellow there 's a couple of shillings for thee Have us out of thy windmil here I prithee and thy By and by 's Exeunt omnes Act. III Scoen 1. Enter Captain Driblow Clotpoll Nick Anthony Drawer A Table Pot and Glasses GO Sirrah make your reckoning for our dinner Leave us this wine and come when we call you We have businesse Draw I shall sir by and by Capt. Well sir you will be of both you say the Blade and the Battoon Clot. Of both sir by all meanes both Philoblathicus and Philobatticus I I 'le now have all that belongs to your order or all my money again that 's for a certain Capt. Your money again loe you there You bring me a fit man Gentlemen to be sworn do you not that talks of money again when 't is a main Article in the Oath never to look for money again once disfinger'd Nick You will not spoil all now 't is come so far will you Clot. Well sir when I have my Oath and that I am sworn one of you I 'le do as you do and care as little for money as he that has least Capt. Well to the Oath then for both the Bsade and the Battoon you say Clot. I by all meanes Captain for both S'lid the Battoon may stick to me when the Blade may flie out o' th' Hilts Ant. Yes to the Brokers Capt. Lay your hands on these Hilts sir The Articles that you depose unto are these To be true and faithful unto the whole Fraternity of the Blade and the Battoon and to every member thereof Clot. As ever faithful member was Capt. That at no time wittingly or ignorantly drunk or sober you reveal or make discovery of the Brother or a member of the Brotherhood of his lodging haunts or by-walks to any Creditor Officer Sutler or such like dangerous or suspitious person Clot. I defie them all Capt. That if any of the Brotherhood be in restraint or distresse by imprisonment sicknesse or whatsoever engagement you make his case your own and your purse and your travel his and that if a brother die or finish his dayes by end timely or untimelie by Surfet Sword or Law You wear the sable order of the Riband in remembrance of him Clot. A convenient cheap way of mourning Capt. That your purse and weapon to the utmost of your strength be on all occasions drawn to the assistance or defence of a Brother or Brothers friend be it he be it she Clot. I understand you and shall be as forward to fight for a She-friend as ever the best man in the mirrour of Knighthood was for an honest woman Capt. That you be ever at deadly defiance with all such people as Protections are directed to in Parliament and that you watch all occasions to prevent or rescue Gentlemen from the gripes of the Law brissons That you may thereby endear your selfe into noble society and drink the juice of the Varlets labours for your officious intrusions Clot. And that will go down bravely Capt. You must rank your self so much the better man by how much the more drink you are able to purchase at others costs Clot. Excellent Cupt. You are to let no man take wall of you but such as you suppose will either beat you or lend you money Clot. Better and better still Capt. The rest of your duties for brevity sake you shall finde specified in that
is too much abuse made of such good creatures Wine in it self is good you will grant though the excesse be nought and Tavernes are not contemptible so the company be good Gab. It is most true we finde that holy men have gone to Tavernes and made good use of 'em upon their Peregrinations Mi. And cannot men be content to take now and then a cup and discourse of good things by the way As thus Brother here 's a remembrance if she be living and have not lost her honour to our Cousin Dore as Gab. O that kinswoman of ours She was the dearest losse that e're fell from our house Mi. Pledge her good brother Gab. I do Mi. I hope 't will maudlenize him Gab. But have you never seen that miscreant that wrong'd her since he did that same they say you knew him Mi. Alas suppose I had what could be done she 's lost we see What good could she receive by any course against him Gab. It had been good to have humbled him though into the knowledge of his Transgression And of himself for his soules good either by course of Law or else in case of necessity where the Law promiseth no releefe by your own right hand you might have smote him smote him with great force yea smote him unto the earth until he had prayed that the evil might be taken from him Mih. This is their way of loving enemies to bear 'em into goodnesse Well brother I may meet with him again and then I know what to do If he knew him as I do now what a religious combate were here like to be at Nicks coming Enter Boy Sir here 's a Gentlewoman asks for Mr. Rooksbill Mih. The travell'd Gallant is 't not Boy Yes sir and the old black party her Land lady with her But they ask for no body but him sir Mih. Say he is here by all meanes and bring 'em up Ex. Boy Gab. Women pray brother le ts avoid the place let us flie it What should we do with women in a Tavern Mih. No harme assure your selfe cannot we govern ourselves Enter Dorcas and Madge and start back Nay Lady stay he will be here presently that you look for Gab. I will not glance an eye toward temptation Mih. I am amaz'd sure I have seen this face howe're your habit and the course of time may give 't another seeming Dorc. Good Angels help my thoughts and memory It is my Kinsman Mihil What 's the other that hides his face so Mih. Do you turn away Dorc. It is my Cousin Gabriel strangely altered Mih. Come hither you I 'le make a little bold with you Thou that hast been a concealer of more sins in womens actions then thou hast grizled hairs Dorc. Sure I will speak to him he alwayes lov'd me Mih. Reveale a truth to me on my demand now instanrly without premeditation I 'le cut thy tongue out else Mad. What 's here to do do you think I am a devil that you make such conjurations over me Mih. I think thou art as true a servant of his as any Bawd can be But he now if thou darest How long have you known that Gentlewoman and what do you know by her Dorc. Sir Mad. Here 's a stirre about nothing I know nothing by her not I Nor whether she has any thing or nothing that a woman should have by the report of knowledge of man woman or beast not I She came to me but this morning with a purpose to set me up in my new house as I hoped But she has taken a course to make it honestly spoken of already to my utter undoing but she never comes within my doors again as I hope to thrive by my Trade hereafter Dorc. Pray look upon me sir Mih. Was she so resolutely bent and so soon altered Mad. Upon the very first fight of the very first man that came into my house the very first houre of my setting up in it Mih. What man was that Mad. A shame take him your roaring friend Nick I think she is enamoured of him or of something she guesses he has and would faine play the honest woman with him that never played honest man with woman in his life Mih. 'T is she and 't is most wonderful Dorc. If you knew who I were you would not be so strange to me Mad. And here she comes me a hunting after him like a fondling whilest halfe a dozen peeces might ha' been gotten at home by this time aud she have had the halfes of it in her purse by this time if she would have done as I thought she would have done by this time Mih. Alas poor Howlet Mad. I sent whooping after the best guest that haunt my house to have taken the first fruits of her conversation and she would not see a man of 'em to my undoing Mih. Well leave thy hooting Madge and hold thy peace thou shalt get by it Mad. Yes I shall get a good name shortly and this geare hold and turn begger I shall Dor. Pray sir but one word Mih. Speak to her brother 't is our Cousin Dorcas Gab. Will you abuse me too is she not lost Mih. And will not you give her leave to be found again his wine and her sudden apprehension works on him at once Cousin I 'le speak to you though I confesse the miracle of our meeting thus amazes me Dorc. O Cousins both As ye are Gentlemen and of that noble stock whose meer remembrance when he was given up and at the brink of desperate folly stroke that reverend fear into my soul that hath preserv'd my honour from further falling Lend me now your aide to vindicate that honour by that man that threw me in the way of losse and ruine Mih. All shall be well good Cousin you shall have both hands and hearts to re-estate you in him So that in fact you have not wrong'd that honour since he forsook you Dorc. On my soule I have not Mih. Infants then shall be pardoned Brother speak Dorc. You were wont still to be my loving'st Cousin Gab. What a strange dream has wine wrought in my head Mih. I hope it will work out his superfluous zeale And render him civil Christian again Dor. It is no dream good Cousin you are awake And I that Dorcas for whom you have wish't Affinity of blood might be dispens'd with And you to be my choice So well you lov'd me Gab. And will above my life affect you still But you must leave these gauds and prophane dressings Mad. Bawds did he say how comes he to know me troe Dorc. How came my Cousin Gabriel thus translated Out of gay cloathes long haire and lofty spirit Stout and brave action manly carriage Into so strict a Reformation Where is the martial humour he was wont so to affect Mih. His purity and your disgrace fell on you both about a time I faith Gab. Do you swear by your FAITH Mi. He 's falling back again Boy Some more
follies Might have been temper'd into manly vertues Cash I hear not that Mat. But I fall back agen From my revenge to grief Away I will not He reads again Here 's the death-doing point These slight disorders In my young forward sonne I finde it here Were by his churlish and perfidious Guardian Interpreted no lesse then Reptobation And by his ignorant cruelty so punish'd For here he shuts his eare and door against him When suddenly the loose licentious world Soothes on his youthful in judicious courage To imminent destruction so being engag'd In a rash quarrel he in duel fell Th' Opponents sword was instrument yet I inferre Lafoy his Guarcian was his murderer Farewel my boy and this is the last teare Thou shalt wring from me Something I 'll do Shall shew a fathers love and valour too I 'm young enough to draw a sword in France yet But first Come hither Sirrah Cash Now it comes Mrt. I purpose streight to order my estate Look that you forthwith perfect my Accompts And bring me all my books of debtor and creditor Receipts and payments what you have in wares And what in cash let me inform my self Cash 'T is as I fear'd Mat. I 'll set all right and streight All statutes bonds bills and seal'd instruments That do concern me I have in my Closet Or at my Councels or my Scriveners I 'll call in them my selfe Why doest thou look so amaz'dly Would'st have me yield a reason why I 'll tell thee I mean to make a voyage and perhaps To settle and proportion out my estate By Will before I go Do you as I command you Cash Whatever he pretends I know his drift And e're I 'll be discover'd by my stay Being run out I 'll choose to run away Ex. Mat. My daughter in the first place must be car'd for I 'll make her a good match My next in blood then My Knave-half-brother and my whole fool-Sister But the best is her Ladiship has enough And all I have in Strygoods hands were nothing Therefore I 'll purpose nothing to him Oh Enter Joyce and Gabriella The Joy and Torment of my life at once Appear to me I must divide them thus He thrusts off Gabriella Hence hated issue of my mortal foe VVhom I have foster'd with a Parents Piety As carefully and dearly as mine own VVhile the inhumane cruelty of thy Sire Has to untimely death expos'd my sonne Thank me I kill not thee so leave my house There 's French enough in town that may befriend you To pack you o're to Paris what 's your own To Joyce Take w' ye and go VVhy cleave you to her so Forsake her cast her off Are not my words Of force but I must use my hands to part ye Jo. Deare honour'd father I beseech you hear me In parting us you separate life from me And therein act a real crueltie On me your only childe sharper then that Which you can but pretend done by her father Mat. Durst thou speak so Joy I cannot live from her Mat. O monstrous Pray your reason Why not live Joy You know Sir from our Infancie we have been Bred up together by your tender care As we had been twin-borne and equally Your own and by a self-same education We have grown hitherto in one affection We are both but one body and one mind What Gabriella was I was what I was she And till this haplesse houre you have enjoyn'd me Nay charg'd me on your blessing not to arrogate More of your love unto my self then her Mat. That was 'cause I presum'd her father lov'd Or should have lov'd my sonne your brother Joy I never knew brother or sister I Nor my poor self but in my Gabrella Then blame me not to love her I beseech you Upon me knees Mat. Th' art knee-deep in rebellion Unnatural Gipsie since thou prov'st my torment In being the same with her and hast declar'd Thy self no more my childe then she whom now I do abhorre avoid with her my sight Rise and be gone lest thou pull curses on thee Shall sink thee into earth Gab. O rather Sir Let me 'gainst whom your fury first was bent Suffer alone the sharpnesse of your vengeance And let it not be said 'cause you surmise My father lost your son that therefore you Have cast away your daughter Hurl me rather Into the ruthless waves to seek my way Or do but take her hold her in the armes Of your paternal love and I 'll take flight To weane her to you Joy She cannot may not leave me Mat. Out of my doors then with her Enter Lady Nestlecock La. What 's the matter ha Mat. Such as you cannot mend deare Lady Sister What come you hither with your Ha for Ha La. To comfort you dear brother if you 'll heare me Your sonne is dead they say and here I finde Your daughter is rebellious 'gainst our will Mat. You speak much comfort do you not think you La. But is it so Joyce ha I thought you Joyce Would have rejoyc'd your father in obedience Joyce And not afflict him with your stubbornnesse Mat. O this impertinent woman La. But my brother Let me advise you rather then suffer her To be an eye-sore to you put her out Where she may learne more duty If you please I 'll take her home and shew her how it should be Mat. Yes as you have shewen your Nestlecock your sonne La. I there 's a childe Brother you 'l pardon me If I aspire in hope that he shall be Your heire if Joyce miscarry in rebellion Mat. And therefore you would breed her How the devil Works in a covetous woman Though a foole too Your sonne 's an Asse an Ideot and your self No better that have bred him so Do you tell me Of your sweet sugar-chop't Nestle cockscombe La. Ha Mat. He 's fit t' inherit nothing but a place I' th' Spittle-house Fools Colledge yond at Knights-bridge La. And did I come to bring thee consolation Now let me tell thee I rejoyce in thy Just punishment thy scourge of crosses Thou That for these six years space until this day Hast kept continual feast and jollitie For thy wives death who was too good for thee Mat. Right for she was my Master a perpetual Vexation to me while she was above-ground Your Ladiship could not have spoke more comfort to me Then the remembrance of that shook-off Shackle Which now in my affliction makes me smile And were I on her grave I could cut capers La. A further punishment I prophecie Grows in the neck of thy leud insolence Mat. I could e'ne finde in heart to marry again In spight now of thy witchcraft my son dead My daughter disobedient and your childe A very chilblaine What have I to do But marry again all women are not devils I may yet get an heire unto my minde Enter Strigood Mat. Art thou here too Stri. Stay you forget your brother Mr. Matchil You have match'd ill
dangerous marriage-trial That she whom y'have chosen will be obedient Val. D' ye think he has not tried her There 's a question Mat. Well-said agen I was about to say so Rachel some sack I say Yes I have tried her sir Tri'd her and tri'd her again all over and over These five yeares day and night and still obedient Er. Then you are sure to her Mat. No I never us'd A marriage-question not a woing word But do all by command she is so obedient Val. And yet she 's chaste and vertuous withal Mat. Well-said again sir so I was a saying Er. But we have talk't away the Gentlewomen Mat. No matter let 'hem go Would they were far enough Ent. Rach. Enter Rachel silver Kan and Napkin Come the sack the sack Who taught you that courtesie maid Pray try a better to the Gentleman Protest you shall begin Val. In your own house sir Mat. I 'll rather g' ye my house then break my word in 't Val. Y' are Lord here and may command me sir And so my service to you Mat. I 'll do you reason sir Val. drink Be ready with your Napkin and a lower douke maid I 'll hang dead weight at your buttocks else So Is not this obedience Gentlemen Mr. Erasmus Mus I will call thee Mus I love to be Familiar where I love and Godamercy For your friend here you both shall see my daughter But my French Damosel and I are parted I hope by this time So here 's to you Mus Er. To me to me to me M. drinks Mat. Ha boy art there dispatch Your court'sie quickly and go cal my daughter Er. drinks Rach. She is gone forth forsooth Mat. Forth ha when whither La ye she thinks I 'm angry and the finger Is in the eye already Is not this Feare and obedience Gentlemen who went with her Rach. She went with my Lady Nestlecock to bring Gabriella on her way they said Mat. I would They were all in France together Er. What your daughter Mat. She comes again I doubt not Dry your eyes And drink that sack without a court'sie drink it You do not know my meaning Gentlemen Stay now gi' me 't agen Now go and dry Your face within without a court'sie ha Ex. Rach. Now is not this obedience Gentlemen Val. But this is not the rare obedient peece That you will marry Mat. You do not hear me say so But I presume as much obedience In her I have made choice of Er. Marrie a maid And we will be her Hench-boyes if you please Mat. No I 'll have no such blades 'bout my wives hanches But come to end this tedious Scene in which I ha' past the Purgatorie of my Passions Of sorrow anger feare and hope at last I am refin'd sublim'd exalted fixt In my true Sphere of mirth where love's my object And bloodie thought of black revenge cast by Val. Could your faire breast harbour a bloody thought Mat. For some few minutes in which extasie I meant t' ha' gone as other Gallants do To fight in France forsooth and charg'd my man To draw up his Accompts call in my moneys Thought to have made my Will Er. I saw your Cashier Go forth e'ne now with a strong lusty Porter Loaden with money I will not say my teeth Water'd at it Val. But 't was enough to make A very true mans fingers itch Mat. I cannot Think he is run away but yet I like not His carrying forth when I say fetch in money But this is from my purpose Love ye mirth Let 's in and drink and talk That gives it birth ACT. II. SCENE 1. Camelion Hannah Cam. I prithee now I prithee prithie now Urge me no more in this case for I cannot Nor I wo' not so I wo' not I be jealous of mine own wife mine own deat flesh and blood That 's such a thing I pidee speak no more on 't Han. You shew you love Rafe Cam. So I hope I do Nan My cock my pity nittle nansie cocksie Do I not shew my love when I deny thee Vnreasonable requests I never heard Of woman that desir'd a loving husband To be a jealous Master over her Especially a City-Shopkeeper The best part of whose trade runs through the hands Of his faire wife too 'T is unreasonable And thou the first that e're take up the humour Han. And you the first that e're I knew besotted Into a wilful confidence which renders Me to a vile construction and your selfe By leaving me to all assaults and hazards Have got the reputation of a Wittal Or one that seems contented to become so Cam. Hon soit qui maly ponse My Cock my Nansie Cock my Cocksie Nansie Kisse me and use thine own conscience I scorn The yellow sicknesse I let 'hem all say what they will D'einty come thou to me I will not lose An haires bredth o' my humour nor retain An ill thought o' my Cocks honestie For all the wealth i' the Exchange not I Han. I not desire you should but only that You will not seem so carelesse of my credit Exposing me to all temptations Of the wilde Gallantry of the wanton time By whom although my chastity remaines Untouch't my name and your discretion suffers Cam. Pish Honi soit again Cock I defie Calumniation and detraction I When I am jealous let the horne-curse take me And let me be with hornets stung to death Han. Still you flie from the point I would not have You vex your self with causelesse jealousie Over my constant love but only seem A little watchful o're my reputation Whereby you may decline mens leud attempts And not to throw me upon opportunities To draw them on as if I were a thing Sâ—t out as in your shop for common sale Cam. Cock Thou shalt never tie me to 't not I I must not lose my harmlesse recreations Abroad to snook over my wife at home Thought'st ha' me like the hair-brain'd Point-tagger That us'd to hammer his fingers at one end O' th' shop while 's wife was bargaining at the other Not I sweet Cock pidee le ts heare no more on 't Enter Foot-post Now friend Is your businesse to me or my wife Post This Superscription will inform you sir Cam. To my deare daughter Mrs. Hannah Camelion at her shop or house in or near the New Exchange Cock Take it quickly what a Knave art thou to put a letter in my hands that is directed to my wife Sbobs I would not ha' open'd it for fourty pound Post If all husbands in the City were of his minde it were a Forrest of fooles indeed Cam. Cock I must leave thee Han. Pray stay a little This letter 's from my father Cam. I hope the good Captaine 's well Han. Yes very well pray read his Letter here Cam. Cock you shall pardon me Not I I have a match to play at the ducking-pond Prithee fore-slow not my occasions Cock As I forbear to pry into thy secrets Han. Here 's nothing
counsel but your wife La. VVell-said Rachel hold thine own Rachel Mat. I am match't again Whi. Ha ha ha Mat. Pax cry again or burst thy self with laughing Whi. La Ha ha ha Laugh son Nehemiah Neh. Ha ha ha Mat. What am I what do you make of me La. Nay what ha' you made your self best ask the Chimney piece that you have married there Mat. Durst thou advance a voice against me ha Ra. You did commend it in me against your Sister And I may better be familiar with you Hah are you not my husband I am sure 'T is not so long since we were married that You can forget it or repent so soon I am not now your slave to have my face Wash't with your snuffes nor to be kick't and trod on VVithout resistance nor to make you answers Meerly with silent court'sies run when you bid go To fetch and carry like your Spaniel In which condition I liv'd long enough And was content until you freed me out on 't Now free I am and will be a free woman As you are a free-man ha Whi. Ha ha ha Mat. O base-borne begger Ra. You wrong your wife in that Mat. How she holds up the wife Ra. I never beg'd Nor mov'd a lip to be your wife not I You held my service portion good enough And for my blood 't is no more base then yours Since both are mixt in marriage Mat. Come your way And let me hear you speak so much at home Ra. I hope I may be bolder in mine own house So Madam for the love I have found in yours You shall be welcome thither when y' are sent for La. What a bold piece of Kitchin-stuffe is this Brother y' are match't Whi. And catch't ifacla ha ha ha La. He has not a word to speak Mat. Follow me home and durst Ex. Ra. Yes sir I dare without more leave taking ha Ex. La. Was ever combe so cut Whi. Ha ha ha ha Neh. There 's a new Aunt indeed she brought me nothing Whi. I have not laught so much I know not when H' has made me laugh until I cry agen La. Again you are welcom Sir Mrs. Blith Now the unwelcome guests are gone le ts in And dine then will we after meat Whi. Of Joinctures Madam and of Nuptials treat La. Right sir Bli. Love as I shall adore thee for a deity Rid me of this ridiculous society Act. III Scoen. 1. Enter Matchil Rachel between Erasmus and Valentine Eras. GOod Mr. Matchil Val. Mystris be not so violent Ra. Ha Mat. I 'll rather run my Countrey Gentlemen then endure her Ra. You were best to kill her then and then you 'll have no other course to take unlesse you stay and be hang'd Mat. I 'le make thee glad to flie first Ra. From my house and husband shall I from my possessions shall I And leave you all to spend in riot shall I No sir I 'le stay and spend my share if you go to that that will I And make all flie as well as you and you go to that that will I ha Mat. Whoop whow Er. Nay I le be not so loud Mat. What didst thou bring thou drudge thou Ra. That which you were content to drudge withal I am too sure o' that The drudge you speak of is no worse then your own wife I am too sure o'th at Mat. I know not what to say to her Ra. Did you not say for better for worse And if 't were worse then 't is 't were all too good for you And that I hope I shall finde some good Friend to know Val. That I like well I 'le be her first man Ra. I trust you have found the drudge to be a woman fit to content a man and if you grant not that some better man perhaps shall be a Judge betwixt you and the drudge Val. Better still Mat. She threatens hornes I think Ra. Hornes I think you said If 't were so 't were too good for you Cannot your own wife content you ha Val. She holds up that point stoutly Ra. That shall be tri'd Mat. O for an expert Chyrurgion now to cast her in a dead sleep and geld her Er. Introth you will be both sorry when your passion gives but least way to your understandings Mr. Matchil let me perswade with you Mat. Never uniesse you bring her on her knees to crave forgivenesse at my foot Val. If you but yield an inch he treads upon your neck I will not give an under spur-leather for you But bear it out bravely and I 'll be your servant Er. Mrs. Matchil Ra. Mrs. Match-ill indeed to be so match't Mat. So match't how match't what from the hurden sinock with lockram upper-bodies and hempen sheets to weare and sleep in Holland and from the dripping-pan to eat in silver ha Do you repine at your Match ha Is wealth contemptible to you Ra. I was better content in my povertie I have not been my selfe Gentlemen since he married me Mas. You may be poor again as soon as you please the door is open depart at your pleasure you know the way to your old Aunt the Apple-woman at Hockly-hole Take your knitting Needles again and live with her go Ra. No sir I 'll stay with you and make you as poor before I have done wi' ye as I was before you had me Gent. I shall not be my self till then Mat. The devil you shall Was ever such a crooked condition crept into a thing like woman Val. Yet this sir is the rare piece of obedience You boasted of and said you would defie The devil to dishonest her I am sorry Your judgement led you into such an errour Already she 's my Mystresse Mat. Is she so Ra. Yes and I 'le call him servant Gentlewomen use it Val. Do so Mystresse Mat. If she sir be your Mystresse Then am I Your Master-in-law out of my house I charge you Er. Doest thou conspire to grieve him Val. Troth sir I did but jest You have my pity Er. All are not times for Jest friend Valentine Mat O my affliction She looks in her Watch Er. Have a little patience sir While I talk calmly with her Mat. Leave me then A while unto my thoughts Go into the house Ra. Pray servant help me here a little Do so much As winde up my Jack for me my Watch I would say Val. Her Jack she 's in the Kitchin still A pretty Watch this Mystresse what did you pay for 't Ra. Nothing my husband ga't me Val. Pity the Spring is broke but I can get it mended Ra. Good servant take it with you then to the Jack-makers I would say the Watch-makers Come Gentlemen shall we have a crash at cards Er. With all my heart What is your game Ra. I can play a many old games One and thirty bone-ace Tickle me quicklie and my Ladies hole and sichie But you shall teach me new ones though I lose money for my learning Gleek and Primero
between two Friers she kneels to the King he rejects her with his hand Enter at the other door a Doctor of Physick a Midwife two Souldiers the King points them to the Bishops they each deliver Papers kiss the Bishops Books and are dismiss'd The Papers given to the King He with his Finger menaces Eulalia and sends her the Papers she looks meekly The Bishops take her Crown and Wand give her a Wreath of Cypress and a white Wand All the Lords peruse the Papers They shew various countenances Some seem to applaud the King some pity Eulalia Musick ceases King speaks King MY Lords and loyal Peers Lod. A new distinction Between Spiritual and Temporal Hor. Good Lodovico peace Kin. This is a Cause the which but for fair Order By which I am constrain'd to be a Judge Would rather drive me to a mourning Closet Then to this Seat to shew my equal grief Against the Crime and Shame of the Delinquent I see y' are all amaz'd and cannot marveil At your Astonishment who do suffer with you In the great Change Honour compels me to Together with Religion fairly urging To an high point of Justice which to utter Draws faintness from my words chilling my Blood Like the departing Breath that separates Life For such I held her and so many yeers Retain'd her in the Closet of my Heart Its self-Companion that till these proofs VVhich now like daggers by compulsive wounds Have made their passage she could ne'er have parted Lod. Royal Hypocrisie King The Proofs you see are plain That she was found Pray speak it for me Hor. In Adultery King And that she sought the Life of fair Alinda By Sword and Poyson both and of that Cup 'T is like my self had tasted For my supposed love to that wrong'd Lady Lod. You have given her the Bed-right that belong'd to your wrong'd Queen these twelve months King Our Laws of Sicilie are so well rebated VVith Clemencie and Mercie that in this Case They cut not Life from one of Royal Blood Onely take off as is on her perform'd All Dignities all Titles all Possessions All means to live even to her naked hands And such Eulalia now is your condition Lod. To work for her living if she were as young and no honester then she for vvhose sake this is inflicted on her she might find something else about her then naked hands to help at a living shift King Now to this Censure for due Orders sake And for vvhich end this Parliament vvas call'd Your Voyces are requir'd do ye all approve it Omn. VVe do Lod. We must King VVhat say you Lodovico Lod. VVe do Heaven knows against my heart Eul. My thanks unto you all that do obey So vvell vvith one consent your Soveraign Lord And sacred Sir thus low as it becomes me Let your poor Hand-maid beg that you incline A patient Ear to this my last Petition That as you cast me off as an offence You will be pleas'd to think me not offended But pleas'd in all I suffer for Heaven knows I am as free from any Passion Of Anger Hate Repining or Distaste Nay as insensible of Grief or Sorrow Or whatsoever Anguish of the Minde As I was capable for ought I know Of Joy or Bliss the first hour I was born Never made happy till I was your Bride In which blest state I cannot but remain While you are pleas'd and I obey your will Though unto Death to Banishment or Prison Poverty is Blessedness in vvhich I 'll pray For pardon of the Sins of my Accusers And those that have suborn'd them Lod. O poor Woman Eul. So in the blest continuance of your Dayes I shall pray Heaven to smile on all your VVayes King Nay stay Eulalia I have yet a Business I would have pass the general Consent Of this Assemblie in which your Voice is useful Flavello Exit Flavello Lod. Upon my life his Marriage with that Start-up That Snake this good Queen cocker'd in her Bosom Is not this Royal cruelty Gonzago kneels to the Queen Eul. You wrong your Princely Dignity Turn to the King your Father kneel to him Gonz. And are not you my Mother Eul. I must and can forget what I have been So must not you your Mother was a Queen My present fortune claims no Title in you Hurt not your own by looking down on me This I will do as warranted by safetie Not as a Mother but Beadswoman pray For all that bliss on you a Mother may Good Sir observe the King before his wrath Take hold upon you for regarding me Loud Musick Scoen. II. Enter Favello ushering Alinda like a Bride two Virgins The King descends takes her up the Lords rise all amazed King Let your amazement cease and now perceive My Lords in general that I your King Am Subject to this all-deserving Lady And do require you not alone to hear What I can say but without all denial That you approve confirm what I will say I am by law no less then your consent Divorc'd and free from all impediment To make my second choice in Marriage And therefore crave Alinda for my wife And that immediately we solemnize Our Marriage and her Coronation I hope none rates our will or his own life So meanly as to give least contradiction Eul. O let me lead your voyces Long live Gonzago and Alinda King and Queen of Sicily Alin. O gross Hypocrisie Eul. My Lord the Prince pray let your voyce be next The rest will follow Why speak you not my Lord Alin. She would fain seem to voyce in your behalf But in a way that much perswades against you Do but your Highness note it Kin. You Sir come from that Woman Gonz. She was my mother when she was your wife And that 's so late I cannot yet forget it But I fear to offend Eul. O shew it in your Duty then young Prince 'T is true the Law of Nature wills a Son To be a partner in his Mothers woe But Laws above that lay a strong command On Sons to obey the Edicts of their Fathers A Fathers frownes are Comets threatning ruine Let all your thoughts be free from his offence The most Heaven seeks is our obedience In all obey the King think not of me I am no more nay not so much to you As is the Begger whom you may relieve Since of all these comforts I am depos'd Lod. Faith thou hadst not mine good woman I must not call thee Queen now Eul. Or if you needs will think I am your mother Let it be onely in the charge I give you That since Alinda bless'd by providence Must be invested with the Regal Crown You shew her that obedience befits a Queen And your dread Fathers Wife Alin. I fear shee 'l turn him Traytor if he give more ear to her inchantments King I le shew him a way to give her thanks Gonzago Gonz. My Royal and dread Father King Put forth that woman Do it without grudge out of
Eul. I know they will When they consider the most dangerous sin That threw them on their desperate Attempt And their escape from merited Punishment They cannot be so graceless not to turn To a reformed life First know yong men Your former Act 'gainst me an Innocent Was Perjurie by which I fell yet flourish Consider there how black and fowl your Sin Is rendred by my Chrystal innocence Your next Attempt against me was blacker Murder The very word sounds horror Stroz. Gentle Madam Name it not then but by your sacred mercy Acquit us of the Doom which we so justly Have drawn upon our selves and we will spend Our lives in rendring satisfaction To your abused goodness Eul. This is serious Fab. Or may the earth on which we kneel for favour Forc'd by the weight of our detested Sins open Amb. Quick devour us Eul. So enough I le take your words Lod. But now you must reveal By whom you have been wrought to these fowl Practices Fab. All wee 'l discover all though justly then we pay our lives to Law Lod. Good neighbours Lollio Poggio and Andrea conduct them to my House Cur. My self also will to be their securer convoy go For fear the Rusticks may presume again To stretch these penitent necks with halter strain Lod. You shall do well I thank your Charity Lol. Well since in these we are prevented thus Come more wee 'l hang 'em or they shall hang us Andr. Make me but once a Sage and then fear nothing Pogg. Thou shalt be one next Sessions without all peradventure Lod. When we have tane these mens confessions I le write at large each passage to the King Against the good Eulalia's will or knowledge Pedr. I le be your faithful Messenger my Lord Lod. Thanks my good Pedro but remember Silence So deep in thought good Madam Eul. Never enough in contemplation of my Happiness Pedr. It is your Heavenly mind that sweetens all things Enter one of the Countreymen Pogg. VVhat 's the matter man Doubtless and without all peradventure more miracles Pogg. The news good neighbour Countr. O neigbours Poggio and Lollio such a news such a Discoverie such a thing is come to pass such a business is come to light as your hearts never heard your Tongues never thought nor your ears ever utter'd you cannot hear it but it will drown you in a Sea of Admiration never to rise again in your right wits Lol. Now am I mad till I hear it Pog. Thou shalt tell me first whether it be good or bad or I le not hear it Countr. It is good or bad I assure you and therefore you may be gone Pog. I mean which is it good or bad Countr. I say it is good and bad and you may both stay and be gone hear it or hear it not an't' please you Pog. Nay thou art in thy Jibes now how good or how bad is thy news I pray thee neighbour I do pray thee how good or bad is it Countr. Nay then it is neither good nor bad but both the best and the worst that ever you heard in your life and the worst shall out first what do you think of the woman that we have got among us Pog. Who the holy woman that we are all so bound to pray for I hope no ill 's betide her Countr. Come shee 's a witch flatly and plainly said to be a witch Pog. Did not I tell you she was an unknown woman and therefore a good one quoth you but say I doubtlesly and without all peradventure all that she did was but a kind of witchcraft Lol. It cannot fie it cannot be how is she found so I do not say shee 's found a witch but she 's accus'd for one Pog. By whom is she accus'd Countr. By two brave men at Arms that came from Court VVith purpose to have kill'd her for the same To be short They found her out and naked swords they drew But as they thought to have thrust her through and through They both dead Palsie-struck fall to the ground Countr. And had no strength but of their Tongues to wound The Fame she had Pog. Vertue can want no Foes Count. VVith that they cryed she was a witch and swore She also was that Queen which for a whore The King had turn'd away Pog. This is indeed the best news thou couldst bring Now doubtlesly and without all peradventure 't is the Queen indeed and if she be not a witch I am sorry I thought so with all my heart where be those men wee 'l hang 'm presently Countr. No the Queen if she be the Queen will not have them hurt more then they be we wete about to execute 'em but she would not suffer it Lol. Goodness it self Pog. Nay without all peradventure if there be goodness above ground I said and I say it again 't is in that woman Countr. She would have cur'd 'em presently her self but could not do 't because the cruel Caitifs would not confesse their sins as she made us you know before her gift could cure us by the same token I suffered an hours torment that I might have scap'd because I was so loath to bring out that naughtie business betwixt me and the Millers wife Pog. 'T was well you confess'd at last Countr. I and they will be glad to confess before they be able to stir hand or foot I warrant and so I told 'm when I lodg'd 'em both lovingly together upon straw in my Barn too good for 'em and so I told 'em too for being Traytors to her Holiness Lol. But where 's our Holy woman Pog. Our Queen wee 'l call her now without all peradventure Lol. Coming this way to her Court-Cottage here but very slowly though our two new neighbours make the best way they can for her through the People that press upon her so with thanks and offerings for their new Healths but she takes not so much for curing of a thousand mortal People as I have spent in Turpentine and Tarre to keep my Flocklings cleanly in a Spring time Hark she comes this is her Musick where ere she goes Shout within All Heaven bless our Holy woman Scoen. III Enter Lodovico Eulalia Andrea Lod. Depart good neighbours good people all depart shee 'l come abroad again to morrow Within Heaven bless our Holy woman Andr. She thanks you all good People pray depart To morrow you shall have the second part She shall appear again unto you pray depart The men in Peace the Wives in quietness And let your bigger children still the less All within Heaven bless our Holy woman Andr. So now the Hubbub 's gone I pray pass on I shall be as weary of the Cottage as of the Court If this noise hold here 's thrusting and crowding As much as there onely here they have less Pride Eul. VVas ever comfort in the Court like this Lod. I never liv'd till now Enter three country-men more Andr. Here come more of our
weather-headed wise neighbours Pog. Heaven bless our Holy woman 1. Heaven bless your Holiness 2. Nay then Heaven bless our Sacred Soveraign Eul. This Homage fits not me 1. We had not liv'd but by your sacred means And will no longer live then be your Subjects Eul. You go about to cast away your lives In serving or in succouring me you fall Into Rebellion against the King 2. We have no King nor Queen but you Heaven bless your Majesty Omn. Heaven bless your Majestie Andr. That was pronounc'd bravely O my brave new neighbours Eul. Y' are Traytors All 1. In honouring our Soveraign Andr. I well said hold her to it Eul. How dare you call me so 2. VVe dare and can prove it good and lawful This Province is engag'd unto you Madam The King made it your Joynture and we find No reason but you instantly possesse it Eul. VVhat and the King alive 1. He 's dead to you Lol. Yes yes he 's dead to you Andr. VVell said again that 's a sound point be sworn These be true Blades Eul. I tremble but to hear you And will not live an hour amongst you more But with this freedom To use my fair obedience to the King 2. You shall obey the King then and we 'll obey your Majesty Eul. O let that Title die with my late Fortune Remember it no more but let me be As one of you nay rather an Inferior Or I from this abiding must remove Of which I first made choice in truth for love 3. O Madam Eul. Take heed good neighbours Beware how you give Dignitie or Title therein you may transgress 2. No whit good Madam Observe the Dialect of France And you shall find Madam given there in Courtesie To women of low Fortunes unto whom 'T is held a poore addition though great Queens Do grace and make it Royal Eul. 'T is then the Greatness of The Person dignifies the Titles not it the Person 1. And in that Madam you are in your content Above all Title 's proper to great Princes But setting this aside how thrive your Scholars Eul. We go fairly on Enter 1. Girl look you Sir Here 's one that knew no letter in the Book Within these ten days can read hitherto And waits for a new lesson proceed hither And at your hour I le hear you 1. Girl Yes forsooth Mistresse Enter 2. Girl Eul. Good Girl well said nay nay hold up your head so so 't is very well let 's see your Samplar what an hearts ease is here Lod. Right in its perfect Colours Eul. Nay shee 'l do well now take me out this Flower Keep your work clean and you shall be a good Maid Enter 3. Girl Now where 's your writing book 3. Girl 'T is here forsooth Pray shall I haye a Joyn-hand Copy next Eul. No child you must not Joyn-hand yet you must your letters and your minums better first Take heed you may Joyn-hand too soon and so mar all still youth desires to be too forward Go take your Lute and let me hear you sing the last I taught you Song Enter 4. Girls Scoen. IV. Enter Doctor and Midwife Lod. Whither do you press who would you speak withall Doctor O Sir for Charity sake give us access unto the holy woman Lod. Who are you or from whence Doct. We are poor Pilgrims man and wife that are upon our way struck with sad pain and sorrow Andr. Alas poor Pilgrims here 's she must do you good Eul. How divine Justice throwes my Enemies into my hands what are your griefes Doct. My wife is struck with dumbness Andr. Hold a little That 's the greatest grief a woman can endure But trouble not thy self to seek for cure Too many a man i' th' world will change with thee A wife that of her Language is too free And give good Boot Eul. Pray Sir be you silent And where 's your pain Doct. Here in this hand Which I desire to shew in some more privacie Eul. Because your Blow cannot be safely given here you think O sinful wretch thou hadst no pain till now Nor was she dumb till divine Providence Now at this instant struck her It is now Just as thou saist and justly are you punished For treacherous counterfeits Lodowick search his hand Lod. His hand is wither'd and lets fall a Knife Andr. As sharp to do a mischief as ere was felt on Eul. Now take off his false Beard see if you know him And let the woman be unmuffled Lod. O Divels Andr. O the last couple that came out of Hell Lod. These are the other two that damn'd themselves In perjurie against you at your Tryal Andr. How do you master Doctor and Mistress Midwife Is this the Pen your Doctorship prescribes with This might soon write that might cure all diseases And are these the Labours you go to Mistress Midnight VVould you bring women to bed this way Omn. O damnable conspirators Eul. Pray take 'm hence their time 's not come for cure yet Andr. Come away Pilgrims we 'll cure 'em for you If your own salves can cure you O my sweet Pilgrims 1. Fough they stink of Treason damnably 2. VVhat shall we hang 'm drown 'em or burn 'em 1. They shall taste fortie deaths then take their own 2. I come away with 'em they shall die fortie times without peradventure Eul. You shall lose me if you do any violence to any of 'em but let 'm be lodg'd with those we took to day I le feed 'em all Andr. They 'l be a jolly company Eul. Pray do as I intreat 3. You shall in all command us 1. I le make my Barn a spittle for your conspirators till it be top full and then set fire on 't and please you Eul. Do you no harm and fear none send your Children 2. Omn. Long live our Queen Andr. Your Queen have you a mind to be hang'd Queen have you a mind to be hang'd Omn. our School-Mistress we would say Eul. VVe live secure in spight of Foes and see Where Heaven protects in vain is Treacherie VVho says our State is low or that I fell When I was put from Court I did not rise Till then nor was advanc'd till now I see Heaven plants me 'bove the reach of Treachery Lod. O happie happie Saint Ex. Rustici with Doct. and Midwife Scoen. V. Enter Flavello alias Alphonso with a Letter to Eulalia Poggio and Lollio following Lol. I would she had a Councel she shall have a Councel And we will be the Heads thereof Though I be put to the pains to be President my self Pog. It is most requisite for her safety her danger may be great A good guard then in my opinion were more requirable Lol. 'T is well consider'd she shall have a Guard too and we will be the limbs thereof though I be put to the trouble of Captain on 't my self Pog. You will put on all Offices yet count 'em pain and trouble Lol. Yes and perform 'em
Petr. Fearful effect of Pride Alin. This shadow of a King that stands set up As in a Press among the Raggs and Vizors That represent his deceas'd Ancestors King What means my love Alin. Your love where is your love Where is the preparation that you promis'd Of strength to tear in pieces that vile Witch That lives my souls vexation your love You are a load of torment your delays To my desires are Hellish cruelties Are these your Promises Horatio holds up his hands King I have given order with all speed I could Alin. You could cut off an old man in a Prison That could make no resistance and you could Vex a poor Boy to death that could but cry In his defence that you could do but this That has so much shew of fear or hardness As a few Peasants to maintain a Strumpet Against your Dignitie is too much to do For a poor coward King Petr. What a tyrannous Ambition Has the Devil puff'd up this Bladder with King I fear her wits are craz'd indeed Alinda Hear me gentle love Alin. O my torment Hor. As I am true to the Crown I know not what to say to this she 's falling mad sure Alin. No no you dare not do 't your Army may Perhaps i' th' dangerous Action break a shin Or get a bloody nose it now appears My Father as 't was voyc'd was all your valour Y' have never a Mars or Cuckold-making General Now left and for your self you 'r past it Hor. His tother wife would not have us'd him thus Quiet Cuckoldrie is better then scolding chastitie all the world over King I see distraction in her face Alin. Did all your brave Commanders die in Sforza Petr. By the Kings favour Madam not to stir The dust of your dead Father he has Souldiers That know to lead and execute no less Then did victorious Sforza Alin. Sirrah you have stirr'd more then his dust you have mov'd his blood in me unto a Justice that claims they trayterous head Petr. My head and Trayterous I do appeal unto the King Alin. A King a Cobweb Hor. And she the Spider in 't I fear My Loyaltie knowes not how to look upon her Alin. If thou beest King thou yet art but that King That ows me love and life and so my subject King Indeed Alinda Alin. Yes indeed Gonzago Life by inheritance for my valiant Father Whose life thou tookst gave thine and so 't is mine And for your love you dare not wrest it from me Therefore deny not now my just demand In that proud Traytors head Hor. She 's mad beyond all cure King Examine his offence my dear Alinda Alin. Is 't not enough Alinda doth command it Are these the Articles you gave me grant of Is this the nothing that you would deny me King Sweet weigh but his offence Alin. His Head is my offence and give me that Now without pause or by the strength of Hercules I le take thee by the Horns and writhe thine own off King Go from her sight Petruccio levie up our Forces And let the Boy Gonzago be embowell'd And sent as a forerunner of our Furie Unto that Witch contriver of these woes Petr. 'T is done my liege Exit Petruccio Alin. Was ever woman barr'd her will as I am Hor. Here 's a fine woman spoil'd now by humoring her at first and cherishing her Pride Alin. Sure you have but mock'd me all this while I am no wife no Queen but silly Subject King 'T is a disease in her that must be sooth'd Sweet thou shalt have his Head Alin. O shall I so King Go in it shall be brought thee Alin. Mark what I say to bind you to your word Do it or I le not love you I can change Love into hate hate into love most sweetly Let that man live to morrow I le love him And do fine feats with him such as your tother wife And Sforza did but make much better sport on 't They were an old dry couple Hor. Take this take all Alin. I leave all to your Kingly consideration You know your charge look to 't and so I leave you Exit King What wild Affections do in women raign But this a Passion past all President O 't is meer Madness mix'd with Divellish cunning To hurl me upon more and endless mischiefes It has awak'd me to the sight of those My fury sprung from Dotage hath already Laid in my Path grim Spectacles of horror The blood of Sforza and that tender Boy O let me think no further yet stay there To plunge at first into too deep a Sense Of soul-afflicting terrours drowns the Reason And stupifies the Conscience which delivers Us over to an insensibilitie Of our misdeeds and of our selves just Heaven Afford me light to see I am misled But let it not as lightning blast mine eyes Confound my Senses make me further stray For ever coming back to know my way Hor. How fares your Majesty Kin. O Horatio shee 's lost shee 's lost Horatio Hor. I would my wife were with her then And so would any good Subject say I think King What dost thou think Hor. Marry I think and so would any good Subject think I think as your Majestie thinks King What dost thou think of Loyaltie now Hor. Truly I think there 's now not any warrantable Loyaltie left but in Petruccio and my self The Queen is now out of my Catalogue and my Creed too Scoen. VIII. A shout within crying Kill him kill him for Sforza Sforza kill him for the blood of Sforza Sforza c. King What terrible what hideous noise is this Within Kill him for Sforza Sforza kill him kill him Hor. My Loyaltie defend me I know not what to make on 't Enter a Captain distractedly Sforza Disguised King What art thou speak hadst thou the voice of Hell Denouncing all the Furies in 't I dare yet hear thee speak Capt. O mighty Sir Petruccio King What of Petruccio Capt. O Petruccio I tremble but to speak him King Shall I then with the Prophetique Spirit of a King Speaks of Petruccio he is turn'd Traytor And animates the Souldiers against me Upon the discontent Alinda gave him Now in her Fury is 't not so Hor. 'T is so 't is so ne'er ask him for the matter I thought so just just as your Majestie thought it And find withall that now you have not left A Loyal heart but in Horatio's bosome Now that Petruccio fails I fear'd 't would come To that nay knew 't O hang him hang him False hearted villain he was never right And so I always told your Majesty Shout King The cry comes neerer still what does he mean To bring my Army on to Massacre Me in my House Capt. Dread Sir vouchsafe attention Petruccio is Loyal 't is his Loyaltie And most sincere obedience to your will That brings him to the ruine of his life Unless your aweful Presence make prevention King Is then his Loyaltie become his danger Capt.