THE She-Gallants THE She-Gallants A COMEDY As it is Acted at the THEATRE IN Little-LINCOLN-INN-FIELDS BY His MAJESTY's Servants LONDON Printed for Henry Playford in the Temple-Change And Benj. Tooke at the Middle-Temple-Gate in Fleet street 1696. THE PREFACE TO THE READER THIS Play was Written by the Author in France above twelve Years past without any design of becoming Publick but only as an Exercise to learn to Write at an Age when many are but beginning to Spell It was afterwards accidentally communicated to some Persons and begg'd by a Friend who propos'd to make some Advantage by it which was consented to upon Promise that the Author should never be nam'd Thus it remain'd for some Years in other Hands till at last the Author was importun'd to own it or his Friend had been disappointed Some few Alterations were made to suit it only to the present time of Acting in every thing else the Play is the same as at first even to the Songs and the Epilogue as it is printed If his Friend has had a Third Day to his Satisfaction it is all the end that the Author propos'd to himself And if before the ordinary Age of Manhood heâ—shall be allow'd not to have been wholly Impotent it is all the Commendation he expects Of which the Reader is left to judge as he thinks fit Prologue to the SHE-GALLANTS Spoke by Mr. BETTERTON AS quiet Monarchs that on peaceful Thrones In Sports and Revels long had Reign'd like Drones Rousing at length reflect with Guilt and Shame That not One Stroke had yet been giv'n for Fame Wars they proclaim and to redeem the past To bold Attempts and rugged Labours haste Our Poet so with like Concern reviews The Youthful Follies of his Love-sick Muse. To Amorous Toils and to the Silent Grove To Beauty's Snares and to deceitful Love He bids Farâ—wel His Shield and Launce prepares And mounts the Stage to bid Immortal Wars Vice like some Monster suff'ring none t' escape Has sâ—izâ—d the Town and varies still her Shape Here like a Generalâ— she struts in State While Crowds in Red and Blue her Orders wait There like some pensive Statesman walks Demure And smiles and huggs to make Destruction sure Now under high Commodes with Looks Erect Bare-fac'd devours in gawdy Colours deck Then in a Vizard to avoid Grimace Allows all Freedom but to see the Face In Pulpits and at Bar she wears a Gown In Camps a Sword in Palaces a Crown Resolv'd to Combat with this Motly Beast Our Poet comes to strike One Stroke at least His Glass he means not for this Iilt or Beau Some Features of you all he hopes to shew On chosen Heads nor lets the Thunder fall But scatters his Artillery at All. Yet to the Fair he sain wou'd Quarter show His tender Heart recoils at every Blow If unawares he give too smart a Stroke He means but to Correct and not Provoke Persons Names Mr. Betterton Bellamour Formerly contracted to Angelica to be marry'd to Lucinda Mr. Hodgson Philabel In Love with Lucinda Mr. Thurman Frederick In Love with Constantia Mr. Underhill Sir Toby Cusisle A Knight a Pimp Mr. Bowen Sir Iohn Aery Two egregious Fops Mr. Dogget Vaunter Mr. Bailie Courtall Brother to Constantia WOMEN Mrs. Barry Lady Dorimen Aunt to Lucinda Mrs. Bracegirdle Angelica In Love with Bellamour Daughter to Sir Toby Mrs. Bootell Constantia In Love with Frederick Mrs. Bowman Lucinda In Love with Philabel  Diana Sisters to Frederick  Melissa  Dorinda  Miranda Mrs. Lee Plackett Waiting-Woman to Lady Dorimen  A Frenthman that dresses Heads for Ladies   Women that sell Indian Ware   Page and Servants to Lady Dorimen   Dancers and Fidlers  SCENE St. JAMES's THE She-Gallants ACT the First SCENE I. Company walking to and fro as in the Mall Enter Angelica and Constantia in Man's Apparel Ang. repeating DIsguise your Inclinations as you can Yet every Woman's business is a Man Cons. Notwithstanding the Poet's Opinion I declare for my part I wou'd have seen all Mankind at the Devil before I 'de have taken so much pains for any one of ' em Ang. Ah Constantia when once a Woman has got a Maâ— in her head Cons. She never leaves till she has him well I say no more but faith 't is hard that Men should desert at this rate and put us to such pains to bring 'em back to their Colours Ang. An old Roman as I have read began an Oration to this purpose If we could break off all Communication with Women we shou'd be freed from many Troubles Now I say if we Women wou'd renounce Mankind we shou'd avoid many Evils and be reveng'd for the past for what cou'd they do without us Cons. Not so fast neither Rather what cou'd we do without them Ang. It might be somewhat uneasy I confess but they wou'd have the worst on 't Cons. Not so much as you may imagine for they have a thousand other Diversions Nor wou'd Love it self â—e altogether excluded for in this wicked Age a young spruce handsom Fellow is become a Rival for a fine Woman And I 'le pawn my Breeches and all that belongs to 'em if in this Dress we are not as much courted by the Men themselves as when we appear'd to be Women Ang. Fy Constantia thy Breeches have made thee strangely extravagant Cons. Why don't you see as we walk along how they stop and look back Demme ' Jack says one a pretty young Fellow By Iove as good as a Wench And then a Lady with a languishing Cast ogles over her shoulder and whispers her Companion I vow my Dear a most agreeable Creature Upon my Reputation such a Man is not at all my Aversion Ang. Of all the Conquests I have made in this habit that which pleases me best is my Adventure with my Lady Dorimen It is you know to her Neece Lucinda that my faithless Bellamour is to be marry'd wherefore if I can but get into her Ladyship's Family and have some power over her Inclinations I hope to find an Expedient to break off a Match which if concluded undoes me Cons. Exceeding Wise and Politick Ang. My trusty Friend and Counsellor in this Intrigue with Reverence be it spoken is my own lewd old Father Sir Toby Cusiste with whom thus disguis'd I have contracted a particular Intimacy Whoring and Pimping have been always his Occupation The kind Offices he does of that sort make him every where a welcom Person He knows me not nor indeed is it possible he shou'd having left me at ten years old in the Country at random to the care of an old Nurse and never seen nor scarce enquir'd after me since Cons. A hopeful Father truly Ang. How unkind soever he has been if by his assistance I can be so introduc'd to my Lady Dorimen as to undermine Bâ—llamour and reclaim his Infidelity he will then be a Father to me indeed and I expect him here every
Fred. LOVE is an universal Invader Whatever Women pretend they are all sensible alike the best Livers as much as the loosest Prostitutes only with this difference those whom we call Virtuous and Chaste have more Pride or a greater force of Dissimulation Dia. Really Brother you 'r a strange Man I say 't is impossible for a Woman to be in Love and I 'll maintain it Mel. In Love Lord with what with a filthy Man Phogh Dor. With a stiff Beard that fetches Blood with every Kiss Mel. A great pot Belly a broad Back and huge Legs and Arms enough to squeeze one to pieces Fred. There is another sort of Man my good Sisters that perhaps may not be so disagreeable I mean your smooth Beaux who 's as tender and gentle as any Lady always trickt and perfum'd like a Lady and were it not for his Breeches a very Lady Dia. Really I should as soon have a Passion for a Shadow Mir. Truly Sisters methinks you 'r too nice I have seen very proper handsom Men of all sorts and sizes Dia. Really Sister such a Confession do's not become the mouth of one who values her Reputation Mel. Men are odious Creatures I vow and I 'll live and die in the Assertion Fred. Young Courtall will soon make Proselytes of you all Dia. He Harmless insignificant Thing Fred. One of you if you love me must love him I have already told you how passionately I adore his Sister and that he has promis'd to put me in possession of her when ever one of you four will consent to be his Wife Upon this Article depends my Life and Happiness if not perform'd I am miserable but if perform'd am blest for ever Dia. To save a Brother's life really much shou'd be done but I vow a Man is strangely my Aversion Mel. Trueâ— Sister but when a Bâ—other's Life 's in Jeopardy Fred. To day he has promis'd to determine which of the four is most his inclination wherefore I beseech her whom ever it is he fixes upon to consider she has a Brother's Life and Fortune in her hands Dia. If I am the Person really I cannot agree to it unless you confess that you are verily persuaded that I consent out of pure Love and Kindness to you and not any Carnal Affection to the Man And I don 't at all doubt but I am the Person Mel. You the Person Dor. Sure he has more Wit than to chuse the Oldest Dia. The Oldest You insipid Creature Fred. Pray cease these untimely Dissentions Enter a Boy to Frederick Bâ—y Mr. Courtall Sir is at your Honour's house and has directed me to acquaint the young Lâ—dies that he will wait there till they have done walking Fred. Tell him they are coming Exit Boy Your Lover is waiting for you at home I find he cannot be very disagreeable to you since you are so ready to quarrel for him Dia. For him Really Brother if you think so I will conâ—â—rn my self no more in this Affair my Sisters might fall out for the Man but I vow my Disorder proceeded from nothing but an inordinate desire to be the Instrument of your happiness Fred. Pray no more words Go home agree among your selves and make me happy by making Courtall so Exeunt Women How awkardly we strive to conceal our Passions Solus And how apparent is the Love of these Women in spight of their affected Aversion It is as hard to hide True Love as it is to dissemble Feign'd Exit Enter Sir John Aery and Vaunter Siâ— I. Aery Lucinda to be marry'd to Bellamour Geddemme ' as I hope to be sav'd sure she wont serve me so But hang 't all Women are Jilts and I don't care this pinch of Snuff who has hâ—r Vaun. Nor I Beged for I have taken pains to make the Town believe I have had her and Beged that 's all I desire with any Woman Sir I. Aery And Demme she has made me believe a thousand times that I shou'd have her for by all the great Geds and the little she never sees me but she laughs full in my face and if to smile is a sign of being pleas'd Beged to laugh is at least as much again Vaun. Well interpreted dear Sir Iecky Beged for where-ever I go I observe every body laugh and I always us'd to take it for an Affront Sir I. Aery That 's very foolish Geddemme Now I never take any thing for an Affront If a Man calls me Son of a Whore Beged I always take it for a mark of familiarity and kindness If any one kicks or gives me a Box on the Ear I take it all in good part A very good Jest i'faith and I laugh till I hold my sides Vaun. Thou' rt i' th' right Beged for why the Devil shou'd I suppose any Man would affront a Man of my parâ—s Beged 't is less'ning one's self and I thank thee dear Iecky from my Soul for reforming me in this Error But prithee tell me dear Aery didst thou ever speak to Lucinda that she has given the such hopes Sir I. Aery Speak to her Geddemme ' No Was ever any thing so foolish What signifies speaking If speaking wou'd do why none but Men of Senâ—e wou'd be happy and when the Devil didst thou ever know a Man of Sense well receiv'd by a Woman Vaun. That 's true by all the great Geds and the little for I have observ'd all my life that my Gilt Coach and Six Horses and Footmen in Lace-Liveries have got me more Women than all my fine Speeches and Beged I know what to say too as well as another Sir I. Aery Geddemme Paux there is more Rhetorick in a Tune on the Flute passionately play'd or a Song languishingly humour'd than in all Cicero And thô I can speak Sense as well as another yet Demme I 'm too well bred to offend the Ladies But prithee dear Vaunter tell me how thou hast made the Town believe thou hast had Lucinda for Beged that 's a pretty sort of Vanity that I shou'd be exceeding fond of Vaun. Why Beged no otherwise than thus At Church I always sit in the same Pew at â—he Play in the same Box at the Musick-meeting I contrive to be the next Man of her and never fail to leâ—d her out upon all these occasions In the Park I turn as she turns I go out whâ—n she goes out I drive by her Coach then stop and go softly till she goes by again then gallop Beged till I overtake her once more and so twenty times together ogling like a Devil till I see where she alights there I alight too and Beged she never makes a Visit but I am up Stairs as soon as she The World takes notice of these Assiduitiâ—s and being always glad of any opportunity to defame my happiness is every where publisht my Friends give me joy of my success which I receive with an O Gad why shou'd you think so What can a Woman see in me This
and Dance Play on the Flute and â—iddle there 's Woman's Vanity again She never sees a soft Aâ—â—ected Ass but she is pleased with the reflection of her own â—ollies and admires her self in every Fop that like a Glass shows her the Image of her own Mind Phil. You are Rude Sir Bell. Rude Sir â— Phil. Ay Rude Sir that 's English Bell. You are an Ass Sir Or is it your Soldier here that Charms you your Colonel O how that sounds to please a Ladies Ear Is it his Red Coat or his Hoboyes thaâ— take you most what Wounds has he to show you what Deeds in Battle to describe what Dangers he has seen a Siege thro' a Prospective Glass L. Dor. I can endure this odious Railer no longer his Noise iâ— got up into my Head let us go in and leave this Wrangler to Rave by himself Ang. We wait on your Ladyship Bell. to Ang. I shall find a time Sir I shall to thank you for your good Offices Ang. Whenever you please Sir Phil. to Bell. I shall find a time Sir to call you to an Account in another place Bell. What place you please Sir Sir Toby to Bell. I shall take an occasion I shall Sir Adzooks to make you repent putting your Town Tricks upon Country Girls Luc. Mr. Bellamour can't you compose your self enough â—â— go in and Play a Pool with us Bell. I will wish you some Luck Madam May you be always Flatter'd and always Loose may you never think you have a sure Game but be disappointed by a better Luc. A little Hellebore would do the Gentleman no harm Sir Toby Straw Straw and a Dungeon Adzooks the Man 's stark Mad. Exeunt leaving Bellamourâ— Bell. Mankind from Adam have been Women's Fools Women from Eve have been the Devil's Tools Heaven might have spar'd one Torment when we fell Not left us Woman or not threatned Hell Exitâ— ACT IV. SCENE I. Enter Frederick Surrounded by His Sisters vizâ— Diana Meliâ—sa Dorinda Miranda Dian. REad mine they are all Blanks but mâ—â—eâ— Mel. I say her 's is a Blank Read mine Dor. and Mir. They are all Blanks but mine Fred. What are you all mad give me your Notes in Peace and I 'll read 'em else I am gone All Women Well then here take ' em Fred. So Let none interrupt me but whose sâ—â—ver the lot is let the rest be contented and Silent opens a note and reads it Melissa is beauty ful Mel. I told you so I know 't was I you need read no farther Fred. Good Sister forbear Reads Dorinda is good humour Dor. That 's I. Fred. Patience Reads Miranda is Charming to admiration But it is Diana that is adorable and has my Heart Speaks Let none reply Diana's is the lot Mel. Diana's is a Cheat a Counterfeit he vow'd to me he cou'd not endure her Fred. We are to stand to what he has written You may â—ake back your notes we need read no more Mel. I say my Sister Dy's is all Forgery Dia. I say you are a confident Creature Fred. interposing Sisters this is misbecoming all modesty Melissa be satisfy'd there are more Men besides Courtall Dor. Dear Brother open the rest of our Notes for our common satisfaction Courtall told me all should be Blanks but mine Mir. So he told me Fred. Any thing for peace This Melissa I think is yourâ— Reads Diana is discreet Dorinda c Miranda c. as before but Melissa only has my heart Speaks How Diana is it true then thaâ— yours was forg'd Melissa be happy the lot is yours Dia. I say 't is she has forg'd and not I. Let me tear her Eyes out for this trick Fred. No more I entreat you I suspect a trick I 'll read the rest Reads the other two notes to himself How Why in these he declares for Dorinda and Miranda this is all a trick Dor. to Mir. Sister I begin to suspect this Courtall Let us be no more seen in this business Mir. to Dor. The Imprudence of my Sisters may be an example for us to be wise Fred. 'T is plain Courtall has abus'd us all but be you advis'd and I 'll be reveng'd I love his Sister but not above the Honour of my Family I 'll instantly find him out and teach the young Impostor what it is to play with the Reputation of Ladies or fool with a man of Honour Be aâ— peace among your selves and all shall be well Exeunt Enter Angelica and Constantia Ang. Victoria Victoria turn'd out of doors quite discarded ha ha ha To have seen how he storm'd and Hector'd â—would have made thee die with Laughing ha ha ha Cons. 'T was most Heroically perform'd indeed Ang. He swore I must give him satisfaction and by Heaven I am ready when ever he dares demand it Cons. How ready to fight with him what fight with a man Ang. Yes Conquer him too lay him groveling at my Feet Panting and not able to stir a Limb. Cons. The Truth is that may be done but how will you lay your Widow Panting Ang That indeed is now my hardest task And prayâ— how will you come of with your Virgins Cons. That 's to be thought of too I 'll go consider on 't You are bound for other Adventures and so good night Exit Constantia Enter Sir Toby Philabell Women and Musick Sir Toby spying Ang. My little Cupid turn'd wanderer of Darkness A Night Rover An Eve-dropper under his Mistress's Window Nay then thou' rt in indeed there 's no such infallible sign of a Lover Phil. A Lover can no more go to bed without easing his heart in sighs under his Mistress's Window then without comforting it afterwards with a Bottle Sir Toby Behold Lover to your sighs I have brought a Song 't shall pass for thy Serenade to my Lady Dorimen Hey Myrmiâ—ons strike up SONG Wâ—â—â— Phillâ—â— is Drinking Love and Wine in Alliance 〈…〉 unitâ—d bid resistless Defiance By the touch of her Lâ—ps thâ— Wiâ—e sparkles higher And her Eyes from her drinking redouble their fire Her Cheeks glow the brighter recruiting their colour As Flowers by sprinkling revive with fresh odour His dart dipt in Wine Love wounds beyond curing Aâ—d the Liquor like Oyl makes the Flame more enduring By Cordials of Wine Love is kept from expiring And our Mirth is enliven'd by Love and Desiring Relieving each other the Pleasure is lasting And we never are cloy'd yet are ever a tasting Then Phillis begin let our Raptures abound And a Kiss and a Glass be still going round Our Ioyes are Immortal while thus we remove From Love to the Bottle from the Bottle to Love Sir Toby takes Angelica about the Nâ—ck and Kisses her Sir Toby singing And a Kiss and a Glass be still going round Ang. Sir Toby you Kiss in anothers wrong all my kisseâ— are bespoke for to Night See what a dreadful challenge my Lady Dorimen put into my hand at parting Sir Toby reads You may Wonder at the confidence I
Causes besides proceeding not only from the Avarice of Parents who force their Children for Interest or some private Consideration to marry thô never so Avâ—rse themselves But from our own Ambition preferring an Allyance or a Portion without Examining the Person or from a rash Fancy taken at â—irst Sight and persu'd without consulting our Judgment Phil. But when Love is kept within the bounds of Prudence and Discretion arising from Esteem repaid with Tenderness maintain'd by Innocence and Fidelity 't is then a Divine Extasie the Fountain and Author of Peace Tranquillity and Unutterable Joy Sir Toby But why Adzooks is not this Divine Extasie to be found without marrying Ang. No for what offends the Conscience destroys the Tranquillity and nothing that must be repented of can be call'd Happy or Wise. Bell. They who are Rich by indirect means or Great by Evil Practices or enjoy forbidden Loves are all miserable at â—he bottom Phil. Innocence is the foundation of true Joy and without it all Possessions are imperfect Ang. Marriage is therefore necessary to perfect the Felicities of Love and I appeal to their Consciences Men and Women who follow unlawful Pleasures if they have not at some times uneasie moments And whoever have any thing at any time to reproach their Consciences withal cannot be said to be happy Vaun. And is this all your Opinions All. All All. Vaun. Why then beged I 'll get me a Wife assoon as I can Sir I. Aery Geddemme a mighty prâ—tty Woman and a great Fortune not an hour ago would have forc'd me to marry her and beged I refus'd Plack to Aery That mighty pretty Woman and great Fortune is still at your Service Sir I. Aâ—ry to Plack Peace Peace don't Disgrace me and thou sha't have more Money As I was saying the Handsom'st Woman in England is in Love with me and I 'll give my Consent before I Sleep Enter Courtal Fighting and retreating before Frederick Constantia her Perruque off and her Hair about her Ears pull'd in by Diana Melissa Dorinda Miranda Fred. Fool'd Cheated Abus'd All the Sisters Pull her to Pieces to Pieces with this Succubus this she-Devil Cons. Help help I shall be devour'd by these Harpies turn Frederick Constantia kneels now to you Oh spare the Brother oâ— Constantia Oh Succour the Distrest Constantia The Company all interpose Sir Toby Adzooks what Srange hurly burly have we now Phil. More wonders More Transformation of Sexes Bell Why Fâ—â—derick what new Mistake is this I thought I had leâ—t this matter in a way to be reconcil'd Frâ—d Faith so I thought too but new Mistakes have happâ—n'd Coâ—rt Siâ—ce â—hrô your Impatience and your Sisters so â—â—â—ow a Discovery has been made 'T were Folly to pursue this â—est any farâ—her Constanâ—ia 't is time to Surrender take â—osâ—ession Fredâ—rick and use your Discretion Sâ—stâ—os We 'll not part wiâ—h her so if you will have her you shall have her Pricemeal Vile Impostor to put the Man upon us so Sir Toby Not to put â—he Man upon you Adzooks there waâ— the Devil Aâ—g These were very Innocent Ladies not to know a Man from a Woman Dia. I doubt not Madam but you have been better Instrucâ—ed a long time Fred. Sisters pray an Exchange of Pris'ners what say you Câ—urtal are you willing to redeem your Sister by putting your self in her place Câ—urt I think as a good Christian I ought to make the Ladies Reparation for so many provoking Disappointments Fred. What says Constantia is she willing Cons. Necessity has no Law I am for Surrendring to the Power that can protect me Fred. In my Hands you shall never want Protection Frederick takes Constantia's Hand his Sisters thrust her to him Mâ—l There take her she 's more for your purpose than ours Constantia thrusts her Brother at them Cons. And there take him whose more for your purpose than I. Fred. O Constantia I will so sweetly revenge my self Bell. Mr. Vaunter Sir Iohn there are Wives for you make your Addresses Vaun. Very pretty Ladies beged They Address to the Sisters Sir I. Aery Demm'e very pretty Ladies your humble Servant L. Dor. So wonderful a resemblance I never saw Well for my part after so many Mistakes never more will I believe any Man the more a Man by his outside as the Beard makes not the Philosopher so the Breeches make not the Man that 's certain Cowards in Scarlet pass for Men of War And the Grave Fool do's ofâ—en Wise appear Trust not appearances not Two in Ten Deserve the generous Name of Women's Men. Ang. As your Ladyship's Disappointments are a Lesson to the Ladies not to trust â—oo much to appearances so may my Victory serve to inform Mankind that whosoever has once entertain'd a real Passion can never so entirely dispossess himself but the Woman if she Pleases may reclaim him There is always left a Foundation to work upon and a weakness which he himself does not suspect till he is brought to the Tryal Captives in Love try to get loose in Vâ—in The Feet but slowly move that drag a Chain Whom Irons Clog we may 'ore take with Ease None can be free unless the Victors Pleaseâ— FINIS EPILOGUE Spoke by Mrs. Bracegirdle I Who have bin the Poets Spark to day Will now appear the Champion of this Play Know all that would pretend to my good Grace I Mortally dislike a damning Face Pleas'd or displeas'd no matter now 't is past The first that dares be angry breathes his last Who shall presume to doubt my Will and Pleasure Him I defie to send his Weapons measure If War you chuse and Blood must needs be spilt here By Iove let me alone to match your Tilter I 'll give you satisfaction if I can Death 't is not the first time I have kill'd my Man On pain of being posted to your Sorrow Fail not at Four to meet me hâ—re to morrow EINIS