Selected quad for the lemma: woman_n

Word A	Word B	Word C	Word D	Occurrence	Frequency Band	MI	MI Band	Prominent
woman_n	breast_n	child_n	milk_n	2,381	5	10.1992	5	true

Text snippets containing the quad

ID	Title	Author	Corrected Date of Publication (TCP Date of Publication)	STC	Words	Pages
A40384	The government of a wife, or, Wholsom and pleasant advice for married men in a letter to a friend / written in Portuguese, by Don Francisco Manuel ; with some additions of the translator, distinguished from the translation ; there is also added, a letter upon the same subject, written in Spanish by Don Antonio de Guevara, Bishop of Mondoñedo ... ; translated into English by Capt. John Stevens.; Carta de guia de casados. English	Mello, Francisco Manuel de, 1608-1666.; Guevara, Antonio de, Bp., d. 1545?; Stevens, John, d. 1726.	1697 (1697)	Wing F2062; ESTC R17060	99,081	268

are free from ill Customs because such as are there having taken no Root are easily removed A Man accusing his Wife for her ill Qualities before his Prince was ask'd by him at what Age he Marry'd her The Husband saying at Twelve Years of Age the King reply'd Then it is you that ought to be punished for Breeding her so ill A Young Lion is easily tamed A Bird grows fond of the very Wires of the Cage that confines him whereas naturally the former is fierce and the latter free Education is a second Birth and if it differ from the first in any particular it is only that the second is the more prevalent A Man of Sense and Judgment Marrying a Woman at that Age must imagin he is to be his VVifes Father as well as Husband He may cause her to be born again in new Conditions Since we see a Bear being a Beast so unweildy that it seems not to know how to go upon the ground Dance upon a Rope who can despair of infusing all the good customs and qualities into a Young VVoman that her Husband shall propose And what reason is there to imagin she will not follow and Suck in the bad if the Husband leads her into and gives her an example to continue in them Very Young VVomen are in some danger through the extraordinary Affection they bear towards their Parents and Brothers and the ill consequences of this inordinate affection are the more to be feared by how much they are the more plausible This affection is generally to be regulated by the merits of the Parents and Relations VVhen Parents are such as they ought to be it is commendable when otherwise it is requisite that Familiarity be presently with decency broke off Above all in Marry'd VVomen I would rather see respect for their Parents than Love not wholly to exclude it for there is no true Obedience without some Love But in case it be too much Love and they not worthy of it the remedy is not very difficult if there be address and policy in the Husband Towards the compassing this end it is convenient the Husband apply fresh endearment and attractives and that he Court and Sooth his Wife as much more as would be necessary were this occasion taken away The Child that knows no other sustenance but the Mothers Brest leaves it for Honey or Sugar which it finds sweeter than the Milk The Love of a Husband is more agreeable to a VVoman than that of her Parents and Relations thence it follows that a VVife being cherished and oblig'd by the Husband easily forgets Father Mother Brothers and all the VVorld for him This endearment ought to be managed with discretion and be carried on with Actions as well as VVords A Gown or Petticoat not ask'd some Curiosity unexpected an Entertainment abroad not thought of staying at home some Evening coming home early some Night and perhaps Rising late some Morning are the things that will make way towards her forgetting the usual fondness towards Parents when it so behoves the Husband Some have doubted whether there could be true Love between those who Marrry'd for conveniency and with formal Articles and believed this perfect union was reserved only for those who Marry for Love To this effect a pleasant Gentleman being sollicited by a Kinswoman to Marry for conveniency answer'd her Madam I cannot promise to secure my Love to any Body by Articles before a Notary but by my own inclination There are good and bad Examples enough of both Kinds but I being more fond of Reason than Chance will give my Opinion in this case tho' to some it may appear new I am perswaded this thing the world calls Love is not only one but several distinct Beings under the same Name This perhaps may be the reason the Antients feigned so many Loves or Cupids to each whereof they ascribed a several Birth and this perhaps might give occasion to the Spaniards to speak of Love in the Plural Number calling it Amores which if but one would be very improper I suppose two sorts of Love The first is that common Sympathy or Affection which of its own natural Force without any Reason carries us away to Love we know not what nor why The second is that which continues our Inclination and good Will to those Objects we know and converse with The first ends in the possession of the Object desired The second begins there but in such manner that neither does the first always produce the second nor does the second always proceed from the first Hence I infer that the love produced by Cohabitation Familiarity and Mutual Duty between Marryed People to be sincere and perfect has no dependance on that other sort of love which sprung from the Desires or extravagant Appetite of those who before disorderly affected one another which is commonly called Being in Love and this sort of Inclination being often if not counterfeit only the unconsiderate effect of Youth has proved rather hurtful than beneficial It is not to be doubted this mistaken Desire which is also miscalled Love being ill grounded and deserving rather the name of a vicious Affection expires in the possession of the Object because it had no other Foundation but the satisfying an Appetite which once tasting what it most ardently desired soon Surfeits and ever has a Loathing and nauseates that Delight it so greedily took the first fill of But where a sincere love is setled upon solid grounds a reciprocal Correspondence mature Reflection ripeness of Judgment to discern and an esteem of good Qualities and natural Perfections as well as exterior Form and a fading Complection that love I say must of necessity be lasting will need no Arts to support it and will like the Phenix be still sweetly burning for to rise the more vigorous and glorious out of its own Ashes Let none object that Love is Blind and cannot use so much precaution It is our vile Appetite which is blind and to which we unjustly give the name of Love True Love is very clear-sighted discreet and judicious and measures all its Actions by the Rules of Honour and Reason It is hard to conceive how we can truly love a Person we never saw Much may be said touching this particular but it belongs not to this place In this case we must do like those who cut Timber and cast it into a River to be carryed by the Stream without any labour to the place they design they know not which way their Timber goes but are satisfyed it will come safe by what has been sent the same way before and therefore confidently commit it to the water Let the Husband suffer himself to be carryed away by that vertuous custom let him not strive against the Stream for when he least thinks of it and without knowing how it came to pass he will find he loves his Wife intirely and is reciprocally beloved by her This Position will sound very

have them made the Town-talk by putting them into the mouth of every impertinent Visitant But above all if those Complaints be unjust how much more unpardonable is the VVife that exposes the good Name of her Husband without any Fault committed on his side Any Discourse is more pardonable than that which is destructive of the Reputation of our Neighbour how much worse then must it be that strikes at the Credit of a Husband I come once more to Female Friends and cannot but observe That the name of Friends and Enemies in Portuguese differs but in one Letter the one being called Amigas the other Imigas I am so wicked to believe VVomens Friends have done them more harm than their Enemies Therefore I commonly say Men are ruined by their Enemies and VVomen by their Friends It is proper reasonable and good to go to Court but it must be very seldom as upon the Birth of Princes Marriages Festivals Sickness of Princes their Recovery upon occasion of Happy News and the like and not otherwise It is not so becoming to go alone let the Company be always good but not of Persons of greater Quality unless the first time for their Authority takes off from the Reception every one expects to find in Courts and all other places it often happens VVomen take upon them pretending to be in favour with Queens and Princesses this produces much Trouble and no Profit and sometimes they make use of this pretence to cloak all their loose Actions as some Servants who stop their Masters mouths when they have been idling abroad by saying They have been at Church Thus often good things are made a cloak for the bad Upon pretence of going to Courr VVomen grow idle and the care of the Family is neglected It is enough for a VVoman of Quality that the Queen knows her she will value her the more for carrying her self with Discretion those few times she sees her An Express raises the Expectation of all Men no body takes notice of the common Post It is dangerous and expensive for those who are not imployed in the Service of Princes to aim at their Favour A Courtier compared the Court that is to be made to Ladies and to Kings to the use of a Lemon and Orange the Lemon must be squeezed hard and it yields the better Juice the other is to be squeezed but lightly or else it is bitter Ladies require much Attendance Kings need only now and then be seen therefore one wisely said That Princes and Fire were best at a distance because near they Burn and at a distance give Light Too much preciseness in frequenting the Church is meerly Formality there is no doubt it is good and commendable to go to Church at the usual times and on proper days but all things that are good are not convenient at all times Let the VVife have reason to believe she may go always but let Kindness and Courtesy prevail with her to forbear sometimes A Married Man being asked Where his Wife went to Church answered Wheresoever there is Musick In Spain I knew an antient Lady of Quality VVitty and very Vertuous who when she got into her Coach and the Coach-man asked Whither he must go used to Answer Where there is most People I will not make too bold in this particular for fear I be judged Prophane as obstructing Devotion but that is not my design only the abuse of it is here meant That haunting of Churches used in Portugal on Festivals tho' in another nature is not ill imitated in England Six of the Clock Morning Prayers and Evening Prayers in Winter are the Delight of some Ladies they had rather go a mile on Sunday to Covent-Garden Church or White-Hall Chappel than to their Parish tho' their House join to it this is a desire to be seen by Men not by God his Presence is equally in every Church but the Company is not the same The Husband of such a Wife has cause to consider Whether of them it is that draws her Well since I have descended to so many particulars I will venture a little farther it will divert so much serious Reflection I cannot approve of Trimmed Lap-dogs that have mystical Names Being in a Church a Page came running out of Breath to ask me If I had seen such a Ladies Delight that was lost And having asked what the Ladies Delight was found it was a little Dog of that Name Parrots and and Monkies are needless Troubles and often inspire ill Thoughts Miners by the Grass and Flowers that grow upon the Earth know whether there be a Gold-Mine or not Exterior Signs discover what is within I begin to be so impertinent I shall not leave a Bird. What is the use of Singing Birds that in Summer begin to whistle with the Day and are said to divert the Thoughts in the Morning What better Employment for a Womans Thought than the Husband that lyes by her side Little diverting Blacks witty Foundlings silly Country-Fellows who sometimes are not so silly as they appear cloathed in several Colours who have liberty to go where they please are not fit nor would I have them be seen in a House all these things in my opinion are Prejudicial and I should be glad they were removed from the Houses of all my Friends I protest I ever loathed the Ladies in Romances because I always found Lap-dogs Lions and Dwarfs about them so great is my Aversion from that sort of Vermin that I cannot bear with them in Fabulous Books think how I shall like them when real But it is no reason my particular Fancy should make a general Rule let this pass as a caution to any Man that is of the same depraved humour The Spaniards highly commend good Houswives who love home and mind the Affairs of their Family they extol them so much because they are scarce and it is hard to find such a Woman among them However it is said of Queen Margaret Mother to Philip the Fourth that she and her Ladies Embroider'd and Sold their Work the Profit whereof was given to Nuns So did the late Queen of Portugal and her Aunt Queen Catherine who Enriched Monasteries with their Work many pieces whereof are yet to be seen Margaret de Valois who was Queen of France and Navar whose Writings I admire and whom I look upon as the Wisest Woman of this Age does not cease to express how much she was pleased to see the Countess de Lalain being at Table with the Queeen open her Bosom to give the Breast to a Child she Suckled her self The Queen highly extols that deed of the Countess and says she never envyed any Action in Woman but that There are certain Women like Idols who are good for nothing or are proud to be thought so think they were Born only to be Worshipped and will serve for no other use I am content they should have but one Employment in their Houses and that is that a

their own imperfect Language it suffices to see love and take care of their Education All other Fondness belongs to the Mothers who are not at all to be imitated in those Actions nor that Care and Employment usurped by the Father I just now remember a Passage which shall not be omitted ' tho perhaps it may not be thought much to the purpose A great Minister who was much Courted had a little Son that used to come into the Room where he heard all Men of Business among the rest there was one very Antient of great Quality and who had Affairs of great importance in hand he used to Converse very much with the Child and the Spirit of Dissimulation and Flattery had so far taken possession of him that he did many absurd things and another who had Business there and saw it said of him Indeed it is strange that Interest should make such a one less among another Man's Children than Love makes us among our own Take what follows for a Jest or for Advice which you please When God gives you any Daughters let every one have but one usual and easy Name according to your Fancy or Devotion I look upon the Custom of giving a whole Catalogue of Names and many hard and extravagant ones at last to be very impertinent Women are much addicted to this new sort of soppish affected Grandeur and sometimes it happens that she who was Christned and always known to be plain Mary or Frances heaps upon her self a dozen other hard Names that are enough to puzzle an University and this they do only because they heard such and such Ladies so called This Tale is not unpleasant In a Neighbouring Village the Daughter of a Yeoman was carryed to be Baptized he understanding a Noble Man's Child had not long before received Three Names there in Baptism this Grandeur being cheap he resolved to strain the Point yet farther and ordered his Daughter should have Four Names The Curate having heard them said to the Godfathers Gentlemen choose one of all these Names for I have a weak Memory or else I vow I will Baptize her without any Name or send her home as she came till ye there agree what Name to fix upon I had like to have omitted one particular that deserves to be considered and which ought not to be passed in silence since I handle so many small Affairs Men very often are guilty of one Extream or other when their Wives are in Labour some are as diligent and busy as the Midwife others fly and think they can never be far enough from them An arch Youth who was of the latter Humour used to say That if he Married it should be in July And being asked Why Answered Because if I prove so unlucky as to have my Wife Lye-In it may fall out in March and then I may find Shipping for India whither I will choose to go rather than see her in that condition The love a Man bears his VVife may be the best Counsellor upon this occasion and this natural Inclination will guide him I blame not those who at that time would wish they could be every thing for to be assisting I condemn those that will be nothing it is improper to go abroad because there are many Accidents wherein a Man's Presence is required it is enough for every Man to be in his Chamber and there with an equal constancy receive the Joyful or Dismal News The Saying of a Spanish Nobleman will be some Diversion amidst this serious Discourse He was a General and one of his Captains sent him a Letter begging leave to go home to be present at the Birth of a Child The General writ this Answer I would be glad to be at home when I had a Child but to be present at the Birth signifies nothing The Corruption of the World which daily encreases has introduced choosing of lusty Country-women for Nurses instead of Vertuous and well Qualifyed Women as was formerly used VVe first descended from Mothers to Nurses and are now come from good Nurses to bad ones but it is the Fashion so let it pass Yet it seems to be contrary to the Duty of the Mother for as a VVise Man observed She maintains us nine Months in her Bowels before she sees or knows us then why when she sees and knows us does she cast us off and find another to maintain us I could wish to see the Children of my Friends suck good Milk not only in relation to the Soundness of the Nurses Body but to the good Disposition of her Soul I have not hitherto in any Point opposed the Opinion of my Author not because it was infringing the Rules of a Translation but because his Counsels have been good and not to be objected against with Reason I must incur the Censure of some precise admirers of Antiquated Custom but I hope the Ladies will be of my side I have already Spoke as to the regard due to Antiquity when Experience has taught us better and more convenient Customs than our Forefathers left us It is to me preposterous that a Man can pretend to Love his VVife or indeed to have any regard for his own satisfaction and oblige the Mother to Nurse it can a Man make a Slave of her he Loves Can he be pleased she should not have a quiet Night Can he be satisfied to see her want an Hour of Rest in the Day There is nothing more vain than to think a Child is the less belov'd for being Bred abroad the Eyes of the Parents may be upon it and nothing will be wanting But supposing a Man to have so little regard of his VVife yet still sure in respect to his own quiet and satisfaction he would never endure all the impertinencies that attend the Breeding of Infants Milk is the Nourishment of the Body and not of the Soul therefore provided a Nurse be Sound and Healthy I cannot conceive what danger there can be in the Breast I shall as soon believe it may alter the shape as the inclinations of a Child As for the VVise Parallel between Nourishing the Child in the VVomb and Suckling it after it is Born it is not at all pertinent for no Argument can be drawn to prove that because a VVoman endures the Pain that Nature has indispensably laid upon her during that time she must intail Misery on her self for ever and doubtless there is none even the fondest of Mothers who if it were possible at any rate to transfer the sufferings of Child-bearing to another would not think the purchass cheap though at never so great a Price To prescribe Rules for the Education of Children is a matter of too large Extent and a Subject deserving a particular Treatise the business in hand is only to give some Instructions for a Marry'd Life towards making it the more easy and pleasing This is a proper place to speake of Bastard Children a very needless and often troublesome

such as have Suits to prefer dealing with those that have succeeded and revealing of Secrets to them that sollicit I know not which of these is worst But it is all distructive to the Reputation of those Ministers whose Wives are led away by Flattery Interest or Ambition I have by me the Copy of a Letter of the Emperor Charles the Fifth to King Philip his Son when he left him to Govern in his absence wherein he informs him what Ministers he had left him to advise with and coming to speak of one he did not thoroughly like he has these Words Such a Man were the best of all if he were an Eunuch for the Wife destroys in that Man the best parts I ever saw This fault is of more dangerous consequence in the Wives of Ministers of Justice as Judges and the like But the Ministers of State being Persons of more Note it is more visible in them or perhaps it is not so much taken notice of in the former as more usual It was well said of a Courtier to this purpose who when the House of a Judge who was not very nice had taken Fire went crying along the Streets Help Gentlemen or our Goods will be Burnt One who had a Law Suit depending complain'd to another that the Judge having no Fortune spent like a Man of a great Estate and concluded saying And whence can all this come the other answered From what is carry'd in The former again reply'd Sir his Forefathers did not so and the other return'd No Sir it is we that are here who do it The Wives of some Ministers often hasten their Husbands ruin still burdening them with their Extravagancie when they ought to endeavour to ease them and thus they both fall together The Husband must look to and keep a watchful Eye to secure himself And since it is certain that we let the Blood out of our Veins if it corrupts lest it insect the rest how much more ought we to drain Ambition and Covetousness from a Wife if she appear guilty of it for this threatneth sudden Sickness to the Body and Family and Death to the Employment and Honour I grant it might be Lawful for a Wife to recommend or even favour some Man's Business wherein Justice were visible putting her Husband in mind and giving him some hints of it But these things being in themselves hazardous it seldom happens they are carry'd no farther than they ought to be I could wish the punishment of the fault were to light only upon the Author of it but it falls not out so for the Husband is always liable to suffer for the indiscretion of his Wife There was one of this sort of Ministers in Spain of no squeamish Conscience his Wife drove the Bargains and came off always a gainer he always said when any Body praised his Goods many thanks to my Wives Industry And it was very certain the effects of her Industry were visible enough A Merchant going for India undertook to carry a Present for the Wife of a great Minister the poor Man had the ill Fortune to be Shipwrackt and lost that and all he had of his own He return'd to Spain and to Court and was so unjustly Treated that without any regard to his loss they oblig'd him to Refund the full value of the Present or Venture Going thence to Sevil he met a Merchant his Friend and ask'd whether he went the other said To the great Church to ensure Merchandize of value he expected with God and some Men of Business then the first reply'd Sir let me advise you not to do so it is better recommend it to such a Lady and she will secure it But because I hinted something touching Womens revealing the Secrets of their Husbands Employments it will be seasonable to speak a word of it here being a circumstance on which the happiness of Matrimony has great dependance I have heard it much disputed and argued it my self whether it is fit to discover all Secrets to a Wife I who always admired a sincere Love a long time believed a Virtuous Wife was to be the Closet to keep the most hidden Secrets of the Husband and that it was one of the greatest Blessings of Matrimony that a Man possessed in a Wife a faithful Soul on whom he might unburden his cares and troubles which sometimes overpress him with the same security as if he had never parted with them out of his own Brest and I thought all Love which was not so open was deceitful This was once my Opinion but is not at present nor will I give such advice to any Friend of mine for Experience gained by Years and precedents has taught me that he rather is unjust to the Love he owes to his Wife who trusts her with Secrets above her Capacity This is just like Building a great House upon a weak Foundation which the first gust of Wind throws down If we put into a Boat the Loading of a Ship it will sink The Secrets that were made for great Souls must be kept there and let us always remember that notable Saying of a Wise Man I never repented for what I did not say Yet since I pretend to salve up all Sores I must confess I do not look upon Women as wholly unworthy to be entrusted with some matters of moment Therefore if we must prescribe how far this revealing or concealing of Secrets may extend my Opinion is That our own private Concerns are fit to be communicated with him Points of Honour the Mysteries of our Employ the Secrets of Kings and Affairs of the Government are never to be let slip out of the Husbands Breast Yet if I may assign Rules this is yet a better To tell a Woman those things she may forward or help with her Industry or Counsel and say nothing to her of what is above her reach I grant there have been and may be Women in the World of great Souls fit to be trusted with every thing but these are only Prodigies fram'd by the surplus of overflowing Nature and we must not expect she has communicated those Gifts to all and can scarce believe she did to any One of the cases wherein Marry'd Men have most need of Counsel is to Marry their Children and it will not be fit that I who have remembred so many trifles should forget a thing of such consequence It is a common received Opinion that the best time to Marry Children is when the best opportunity offers This Rule in my Judgment is very uncertain for in case there be a good opportunity of a Match and a bad disposition of the Parties then the goodness of the event would be doubtful or rather success would not be hoped But that Rule is to be understood of an opportunity that follows a disposition and that Children are inclin'd to that state of Life For although it might be hoped from the conveniencies of a Match that the advantages it brought