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A07077 Parasitaster, or The favvne as it hath been diuers times presented at the blacke Friars, by the Children of the Queenes Maiesties Reuels, and since at Powles. VVritten by Iohn Marston. Marston, John, 1575?-1634. 1606 (1606) STC 17484; ESTC S109899 49,411 74

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the world iniustice some purple fellowes whome chaunce reared and their owne deficiences of spirit hurled downe wee had some courtiers that ore bought their offices yet durst fall in loue Priests that for-sooke their functions to avoid a thawart stroake with a wet finger But nowe alas Fawne now ther 's space and place Her Why how gat al these forth was not the warrant strōg Don. Yes yes but they got a supersedeas al of them proued them selues eyther knaues or madd men and so were all let go ther 's none left nowe in our shippe but a few Cittizens that let their wiues keepe their shoppe books some philosophers and a few Critiques one of which Critiques has lost his flesh with fishing at the measure of Plautus verses another has vowde to get the consumption of the lungues or to leue to posteritie the true orthography and pronunciation of laughing a third hath melted a great deale a suet worne out his thumbs with turning read out his eyes and studied his face out of a sanguine into a meagre spawling fleamy lothsomenes al to finde but why mentula should be the feminine gender since the rule is Propria quae maribut tribuuntur mascilla dicas These Philosophers Critiques and all the maides we could find at 16. are all our fraught nowe Herc. O then your ship of fooles is full Nym. True the maides at 17. fill it Don. Fill it quoth you alas we haue very fewe and these wee were faine to take vp in the country too Herc. But what Philosophers ha ye Don. O very strange fellows one knowes nothing dares not auer he liues goes sees feeles Nym. A most insensible Philosopher Don. An oher that there is no present time and that one man to day and to morrowe is not the same man so that he that yesterday owed money to day owes none because he is not the same man Hero Would that Philosopher would hold good in law Herc. But why has the Duke thus labord to haue all the fools shipt out of his dominions Don. Marry because he would play the foole himselfe alone without any riuall Herc. Ware your breech foole Don. I warrant thee old lad t is the priuiledge of poore fooles to talke before an intelligencer mary if I could foole my selfe into a Lordship as I knowe some ha foole them selues out of a Lordeship were I grown some huge fellow got the leer of the people vpon me if the fates had so decreed it I should talke treason tho I neere opend my lips Her In fatis agimur cedite fatis but how runnes rumor what breath 's strongest in the Pallace nowe I thinke you knowe all Don. Yes wee fooles thinke wee knowe all the Prince hath audience to night is feasted and after supper is intertainde with no comedie maske or barriers but with Nym. What I prethe Herod What I prethe Don. With a most new and speciall shape of delight Nym. What for Ioues sake Don. Marie gallants a session a generall councell of loue summond in the name of Don Cupid to which vpon paine of their mistres displeasure shall appeare all fauour wearers sonnet mongers health drinkers neat in riches of barbers perfumers to conclude al that can wyhee or wag the taile are vpō grieuous paines of their backe sūmond to be assistant in that Session of loue Herc. Hold hold do not paule the delight before it come to our pallat what other rumor keeps aire on mens lungs Don. Other egregiousnes of folly ha you not heard of Don Zucone Nym. What of him good foole Don. Hee is separated Nym. Diuorcd Don. That salt that criticisme that very all epigram of a woman that Analysis that compendium of witnes Nym. Novv Iesu what wordes the foole has Don. We ha stil such words but I wil not vnshake the iest before it be ripe and therefore kissing your worships fingers in most sweet tearmes without any sense and with most fair looks without any good meaning I most courtlike take my leaue ba suus manus devostro Signioria Hero Stay foole wee le follow thee for fore heauen we must prepare our selues for this session Exeunt Enter Zuccone pursued by Zoya on her knees attended by Ladies Zuc. I wil haue no mercy I will not relent iustice beard is shauen and it shal giue thee no hold I am separated and I wil be seperated Zoya. Deare my Lord husband Zuc. Hence creature I am none of thy husband or father of thy bastard no I wil be tyranous and a most deepe reuenger the order shall stand ha thou Queane I ha no wife now Zoy. sweet my Lord Zuc. Hence auant I will marie a woman with no wombe a creature with two noses a wench with no haire rather then remarie thee nay I wil first marrie mark me I vvil first marry obserue me I wil rather marie a woman that with thirst drinkes the blood of man nay heed me a womā that wil thrust in crouds a lady that being with child ventures the hope of her wombe nay giues two crownes for a roume to behold a goodlie man three partes a liue quartered his priuities hacked off his belly launcht vp Nay I le rather marrie a woman to whom this smoking hideous bloudful horred tho most iust spectacles are very lust rather then reaccept thee was I not a handsome fellow from my foote to my feather had I not wit nay which is more was I not a Don and didst thou Acteon me did I not make thee a Lady Herc. And did she not make you a more worshipfull thing a Cuckold Zuc. I married thee in hope of children Herc. And has not she shewed herselfe fruitfull that was got with child without helpe of her husband Zuc. Ha thou vngratful immodest vnwise one that gods my witnes I ha lou'd but goe thy waies twist with whom thou wilt for my part tha 'st spun a faire thread who le kisse the now who le court the now who le ha the now Zoy. Pittie the frailtie of my sexe sweete Lord Zuc. No pittie is a foole and I wil not weare hir coxcombe I haue vowde to loth thee the Irish man shall hate aquauity the welsh man cheese the dutch man shall loth salt butter before I reloue thee do's the babe pule thou should'st ha cride beefore t' is to late nowe no the trees in autumne shal sooner call backe the spring with sheding of their leeues then thou reuerse my iust irreuocable hatred with thy teares away goe vaunt Exit Zoya and the Ladie Herc. Nay but most of this is your fault that for many yeres onely vpon meere mistrust seuer'd your body from your Lady and in that time gaue opportunity turn'de a iealous asse hired and some to trie and tempt your Ladies honour whilest she with all posible industrie of apparant merit diuerting your vnfortunate suspition Zuc. I know 't I confesse all this I did and I doe glorie in 't why cannot a young Lady
Your selfe Ferraras Duke and in your selfe The state and vs Oh my lou'd brother Honour auoyds not only iust defame But flies all meanes that may ill voice his name Her: Busie your selfe with no feares for I shall rest most warie of our safetie only some glimses I will giue you for your satisfaction why I leaue Ferrara I haue vowed to visit the Court of Vrbin in some disguise as thus my sonne as you can well witnesse with me could I neuer perswade to marriage although my selfe was then an euer resolued Widdower and tho I proposed to him this verie Ladie to whome hee is gone in my right to negotiat now how cooler bloud wil behaue it selfe in this busines would I haue an only testimony other contents shal I giue my selfe as not to take loue by attorney or make my election out of tongues other suffisings there are which my regard would faine make sound to me something of much you knowe that and what els you must not knowe bids you excuse this kind of my departure Re: I commend all to your wisedome and yours to the wisest Her: Thinke not but I shall approue that more than folly which euen now appeares in a most ridiculous expectation be in this assured The bottome of grauitie is nothing like the toppe once more fare you well Exit Ren. And now thou Ceremonious souerainty Ye proud seuerer statefull Complements The secret artes of Rule I put you off Nor euer shall those manacles of forme Once more lock vp the appetite of bloud T is now an age of man whilst we all strickt Haue liu'd in awe of cariage reguler Apted vnto my place not hath my life Once tasted of exorbitant affects Wilde Longings or the Least of disranct shapes But we must once be wild t is auncient truth O fortunate whose madnes falles in youth Well this is text who euer keepes his place In seruile station is all low and base Shall I because some few may cry Light vaine Beat down affection from desired rule He that doth striue to please the world 's a foole To haue that fellowe crie O marke him graue See how austeerely he doth giue example Of repressed heate and steddy life Whilest my forc'd life against the streame of bloud Is tugg'd along and all to keepe the God Of fooles and women Nice opinion Whose strict preseruing makes oft great men fooles And fooles oft great men no thou world know thus Ther 's nothing free but it is generous Exit SCENA SECVNDA Enter Ninphadoro and Herod Her: How now my little more then nothing what newes is stirring Pag All the Citi 's afire Nym On fire Pag With ioy of the Prince Dulcimels birth day there 's show vpon show sport vpon sport Hero: What sport what sport Pag Marry sir to solemnize the Princes birth-day there 's first Crackers which runne into the ayre and when they are at the top like some ambitious strange hereticke keepe a cracking a cracking and then breake and downe they come Hero: A pretty crabbe he would yeeld tart iuyce and he were squeez'd Nym What sport else Pag Other fire-workes Hero: Spirit of wine I cannot tell how these fire-works should be good at the solemnizing the birth of men or women I am sure they are dangerous at their begetting what more fire-works sir Pag There be squibs sir which squibs running vpon lines like some of our gawdie Gallants sir keepe a smother sir with flishing and flashing and in the end sir they do sir Nym What sir Pag Stink sir Hero: Fore heauen a most sweet youth Enter Dondolo Don: Newes newes newes newes Hero: What in the name of prophesie Nym Art thou growne wise Hero: Doth the Duke want no mony Nym Is there a mayd found at 24 Hero: Speake thou three legd Tripos is thy shippe of Fooles a flote yet Don: I ha many things in my head to tell you Her: I thy head is alwaies working it roles and it roles Dondolo but it gathers no moste Dondolo Don: Tiberio the Duke of Ferraraes sonne excellently horsed all vpon Flaunders Mares is arriued at the Court this very day somewhat late in the night time Hero: An excellent nuntius Don: Why my Gallants I haue had a good wit Hero: Yes troth but now t is growne like an Almanake for the last yere past date the mark 's out of thy mouth Dondolo Nym And what 's the Princes Ambassage thou art priuate with the Duke thou belongest to his close stoole Don: Why euery foole knowes that I know it my selfe man as well as the best man hee is come to solicite a marriage betwixt his Father the Duke of Feraraes and our Duke of Vrbins daughter Dulcimel Nympha: Pitie of my passions Nymphadoro shall loose one of his mistresses Her: Nay if thou hast more than one the losse can nere bee greeuous since t is certaine he that loues many formally neuer loues any violently Nym Most trusted Frappatore is my hand the weaker because it is diuided into many fingers no t is the more strongly nimble I doe now loue threescore and nine Ladies al of them most extreamly well but I doe loue the Princes most extreamly best but in verie sighing sadnesse I ha lost all hope and with that hope a Ladie that is most rare most faire most wise most sweet most Her: Any thing true but remember still this faire this wise this sweete this all of excellencie has in the tayle of all a Woman Nym Peace the presence fils against the Prince approacheth Marke who enters Her: My Brother sir Amoroso-debilidosso Nym Not he Her: No not he Nym How is he chang'd Her: Why growne the very dregs of the drabs cup Nym O Babylon thy walles are fallen Is he married Her: Yes yet still the Ladies common or the common Ladies seruant Nym How do's his owne Ladie beare with him Her: Faith like the Romaine Milo bore with him when hee was a Calfe and now caries him when he 's growne an Oxe Nym Peace the Duk 's at hand Cornets Enter Granuffo Gonzago Dulcimell Philocalia Leia Gon: Daughter for that our last speech leaues the firmest print be thus aduis'd when young Tiberio negotiates his fathers loue hold heedie guard ouer thy passions still keepe this full thought firme in thy reason t is his old Fathers loue the yong man mooues is 't not well thought my Lord we must beare braine and when thou shalt behold Tiberios life-full eyes and well fild vaines complection firme and hayres that curles with strength of lustie moysture I thinke wee yet can speake wee ha beene eloquent thou must shape thy thoughts to apprehend his father well in yeeres A graue wise Prince whose beautie is his honour And well past life and doe not giue thy thoughts Least libertie to shape a diuers scope My Lord Granuffo pray ye note my phrase So shalt thou not abuse thy younger hope Nor afflict vs who onely ioy in life To see thee his