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woman_n bear_v child_n pain_n 1,562 5 7.0124 4 false
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ID Title Author Corrected Date of Publication (TCP Date of Publication) STC Words Pages
A56872 The Queen, or, The excellency of her sex an excellent old play / found out by a person of honour, and given to the publisher, Alexander Goughe. Goughe, Alexander.; Ford, John, 1586-ca. 1640. 1653 (1653) Wing Q155; ESTC R9224 44,652 48

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so Qu. No message of commends Alph. Phew you demur It argues your distrust Qu. I am content The King should be obeyed Pray heaven all be well Alph. Velasco thou wer 't he didst conquer me Didst take me prisoner wer 't in that the means To raise me up thus high I thank thee for 't I thought to honour thee in a defence Of the Queens beauty but wee 'l now defer 't Yet hand your mistris lead her to the Court We and our Lords will follow there wee 'l part A seven dayes absence cannot seem but short Ex. all Act II. Enter Shaparoon and Mopas Shap. And as I said nay pray my friend be covered the business hath been soundly followed on my part Yet again in good sooth I cannot abide you should stand bare before me to so little purpose Mop. Manners is a Jewel Madam and as for standing bare I know there is som difference the putting down of a mans cap and the putting down of his breeches before a reverend gentlewoman Shap. You speak very properly there is a great deal of difference indeed But to come to the point Fy what a stir I had to make her to receive the letter and when she had received it to open it and then to read it nay to read it again and again that as I am a very woman a man might have wrong my smock dropping wet with the pure sweat that came from my body Friend I took such pains with her Oh my conscience to bear a child at those years would not trouble me half so much as the delivery of that letter did Mop. A man-child of my age perhaps Madam would not Shap. Yet that were a sore burthen for one that is not us'd to 't I may tell you O these coy girles are such wild cattel to have dealing with Mop. What ancient Madams cannot do one way let them do another she 's a rank Jade that being past the breeder cannot kick up her heels wince and cry wee-hee good examples cannot chuse from ones elders but work much to the purpose being well ply'd and in season Shap. In season True that 's a chief thing yes I 'll assure you my friend I am but entring into eight and twenty Mop. Wants somwhat of that too I take it I warrant ye your mark appears yet to be seen for proof of your age as plain as when you were but fifteen Shap. Truly if it were well searcht I think it does Your name is Mopas you told me Mop. Mopas my name is and yours Madam Shaparoon I was told Shap. A right Madam born I can assure ye Mop. Your Ancestors will speak that for the Shaparoons have ever took place of the best French-hoods in the parish ever since the first addition Shap. All this with a great deal of modesty I must confess Ud's Pittikins stand by aside a little see where the lady coms do not appear before you are call'd in any case but mark how I will work her like wax Enter Salassa reading a letter Salas. Your servant in all commands Velasco So and I am resolved to put ye to the test servant for your free fools heart e're I give you the slip I warrant ye Shap. Your ladyship hath considered the premises e're this time at full I hope Salas. O Shaparoon you keep true sentinel what I must give certain answer must I not Shap. Nay Madam you may chuse 't is all in your Ladiships discreet consideration The sum of all is that if you shew him not some favour he is no long lives man Salas. Very well how long have you been a factress for such Merchants Shaparoon Shap. O my Religion I a factress I am even well enough serv'd for my good will and this is my requital Factress quoth you Salas. Come your intercession shall prevail which is his letter carrier Mop. At your ladiships service Salas. Your Lord Velasco sent you Mop. Most true sweet madam Salas. What place hold you about him Mop. I am his Drugster Madam Salas. What Sir Mop. Being hard bound with melancholy I give him a purge with two or three soluble stools of laughter Salas. Belike you are his fool or his jester Mop. Jester if you please but not fool Madam for bables belong to fools and they are then onely fit for ladies secresies not for Lords Salas. But is he indeed sick of late Shap. Alas good heart I suffer for him Enter Lodovico Lodov. By your leave lady without ceremony you know me and may guess my errand Salas. Yet more trouble nay then I shall be hail-shot Lodov. To be brief By the honors of a good name you are a dry-skinn'd widow and did not my hast concern the life of the noblest Gentleman in Europe I would as much scorn imployments of this nature to you as I do a proud woman of your condition Mop. I marry here 's one will thunder her widow-head into flitters stand to 't Signior I am your second Salas. Sir y' are uncivil to exclaim against a lady in her own house Lodov. A lady yet a paraquitto popingjay your whole worth lies in your gay out side and your squawling tongue A Wagtail is a glorious fowl in respect of many of ye Though most of ye are in nature as very fowl as wagtayles Salas. Are such as you the Lord Velasco's agents in his hot affection Shap. Sweet cousen Lodovico pray now the lady is most vertuously resolved Mop. Heark ye middle-ag'd countess do not take anothers tale into your mouth I have occasion to use you in private and can finde you work enough my self a word in your ear Salas. I protest I meant more noble answer for his satisfaction then ever your railing language shall force from me Lodov. Were I the man that doated on you I would take a shorter course with you then to come humbly whining to your sweet pox of all such ridiculous foppery I would Salas. Weep your self to death and be chronicled among the regiment of kinde tender hearted souls Lodov. Indeed forsooth I would not what for a widdow one that hath jumpt the old moyles trot so oft that the sciatica founders her yet in both her thighs Salas. You abuse me grosly Lodov. One that hath been so often drunk with satiety of pleasure that fourteen husbands are but as half a draught to quench her thrust in an afternoon Salas. I will no longer endure ye Lodov. For you you That are neither noble wife rich fair nor welfavoured For you Mop: You are all these if you can keep your own counsel and let no body know Mistris Madam Shap. Nay I am so perswaded and assure your self no body shall know Lodov. Yet forsooth must you be the onely precious piece the Lord Velasco must adore must dye for But I vow if he do miscarry as I fear he cannot recover Salas. Goodness forbid Alas Is he sick sir Lodov. Excellent dissimulation Yes sure he is sick and an everlasting silence strike you dumb
Sir I must confess I observ'd some odd amorous glances some sweet familiar courteous toying smiles a kinde of officious boldness in him Princelike and Queenlike allowance of that boldness in him again sometimes I might warily overhear her whispers But what of all this There might be no harm meant Alph. Fy no the grafting of my forehead nothing else Grafting grafting Muretto A most Gentleman-like exercise a very mystery belongs to 't And now and then they walk thus arm in arm twist fingers ha Would they not Muretto Muret. 'T is wondrous fit a great Queen should be supported Sir and for the best lady of 'em all to discourse familiarly with her supporter is courtly and passing innocent Alph. She and Petruchi did so Muret. And at her passing to her private lodgings attended onely with her lady in ordinary Petruchi alone went in before her Alph. Is 't true Went in before her Canst prove that Muret. Your Majesty is too quick too apprehensive of the worst I meant he perform'd the office of an Usher Alph. Guilty apparently Monstrous woman Beast Were these the fruits of her dissembling tears Her puling and her heart sighs But Muretto I will be swift Muretto swift and terrible Muret. I am such another Coxcomb O my side too Yet faith let me perswade ye I hope your wife is vertuous Alph. Vertuous The Devil she is 't is most impossible What kiss and toy wink prate yet be vertuous Muret. Why not Sir I think now a woman may lie four or five nights together with a man and yet be chast though that be very hard yet so long as 't is possible such a thing may be Alph. I have it wee 'll confer let 's stand aside Enter Bufo and another Groom with wine both drunk Bufo handing Velasco by the shoulders Buf. Not drink more By this hand you shall drink eleven whole healths if your cap be wooll or beaver and that 's my resolution Gro. 'Sfoot eleven score without dishonor be it spoken to any mans person out of this place Velas. Prethee I can no more 't is a profession I dare not practice nay I will not Buf. How will not Not her Queenships health Hark ye thy stinking and unwholesom words Will not You will not You say you will not Velas. I say so pray be answer'd Gro. Pox of all flinchers if a'say a will not Let him chuse like an arrant dry lord as he is Buf. Give me the bowl I must be valiant You Sirrah man at arms Here 's a carouse To the King the Queen and my self Gro. Let 't come I ll have that i'faith Sweet sweet sweet Captain Buf. Hold give the lord first drink it up lord do ump Velas. Away I say I am not in the tune Buf. Tune tune 'Sblood d' ee take us for fiddlers scrappers rime canters by tune By this light I 'll scourge ye like a town top Look ye I am urg'd Ump And there 's a side blow for ye like a sober thing as ye are Gro. well done i'faith precious Captain Velas. Dar'st thou do this to me knowing who I am Buf. Yes in the way of daring I dare kick you thus thus Sir up and down There 's a jolt on the bum too How d' ee like it Velas. 'T is well You use the priviledge of the place There was a time the best of all this Court Durst not have lift a hand against me then But I must bear it now Alph. Is not this strange Muretto Muret. I can scantly credit mine own eyes The Captain follows his instructions perfectly Buf. Not drink Mahound Infidel I will fillip thy nose spit in thy face Mungrel brave a Commander ha Velas. O woman-woman-woman-woman-woman Buf. That 's a lie a stark one 't is known I nere was a woman in my life I am weary beating of him and can stand no longer Groom kick him thou up and down in my behalf or by this flesh I 'll swinge you sirrah Gro. Come aloft Jackanapes come aloft sirrah kicks beates him Alph. Why sure Velasco dares not fight Muret. It must be some or other hath bewitched him Enter Pynto Pyn. Avant I saw twelve dozen of Cuckolds in the middle region of the air galloping on a black Jack Eastward ho It is certain that every dozen went for a company and they are now become a corporation Aries and Taurus the Bull and the Ram two head signs shall be henceforth their recognizances set up in the grand hall of their politick convocations whirr whirr there there just under the rainbow ambles Mercury the thin bearded thief that stole away the Drappers wife while the good man was made drunk at the Stillyard at a beaver of Dutch bread and Renish wine and lay all night in pure holland in 's stockings and shoes Pish Talke not to me I will maintain against the Universities of both the Indies that one Aldermans horse is more right worshipful then any six Constables brown bills and all Now now now my brains burn in Sulphur and thus will I stalk about and swim through a whole Element of dainty neat brisk rich claret canary or maligo Am not I Pynto have not I hiren here What art thou a full moon or a moon calf Buf. No no 't is a dry Stock-fish that must be beaten tender Velas. Was ever man so much a slave as I Pyn. Does Saturn wince Down with him let Charles his wayn run over his North pole it shall be justified too Gro. Now Sir having taken a little breath have at ye once more and I have done Enter Mopas and Lodovico Mop. Clubs clubs I have been the death of two Brewers horses and two catch-poles my self and now be try'd by two fools and ten knaves O monstrous base horrible is my lord past recovery Velas. Hold prethee fellow hold I have no sword Or if I had I dare not strike again Buf. U'ds bones were ye an invincible Armado I de pound ye all like brown paper rags Lodov. Let me be strucken blind The shame of fate Velasco baffled and not dare to strike Dogs drunken dogs I 'll whip ye to your kennels Velas. Nay good forbear Mop. Bilbo come forth and shew thy foxes tayl Nay nay give me liquor and I 'll fight like a rorer Pyn. Keep standing ho the Almanack says plainly 't is no season to be let blood the sign is mortal Hold Alph. Yes I command Uncivil ill bred beasts How dares ye turn our pallace to a booth How dare the proudest of ye all lift up A hand against the meanest of those creatures Whom we do own for ours Now now you spit The ancient rancor of you bitter galls Wherewith you strove to wound us heretofore Lodov. We are abus'd My Lord Alph. Fellow Thou lyest Our Royal eyes beheld the pride and malice Of thee Velasco who in hate to us Deny'st to honour our remembrance though But in a pledg'd health Velas. Therein I was wrong'd Alph. No therein all thy cunning could not hide