here And now againe some of us the greater number were very indifferent renewed our former desires of having the Sacrament and sent about it to M. Bartlet who said we were not as yet in a capacity to have that Ordinance that it was necessary we should be first in a Gospel order embodied and said moreover that then wee should see much of God that the day of our embodying would be such a day as we had never seene A while after M. Bartlet came to the City with his Church officers he himselfe prayed and preached on Zech. 6.12 in the â—â—â—ning afterwards seven or eight persons spake out the experiences they had of the change of their condition with which I was much affected and through M. Stucleys perswasion did the like Afterwards there was a confession of faith read being a Copy of that which was composed by M. Hughes which Copy we had not from the Author but from another this confession of faith was subscribed by every one of us And then M. Bartlet made some proposals unto us by way of quaere to this effect as I remember 1. Whether we would take Christ for our Judge King and Law-giver 2. Whether wee would renounce all wayes of false worship 3. Whether wee would worship God in all his Ordinances 4. Whether we would give up our selves to the Lord and one to another and would engage our selves in all duties of Christianity each unto other 5. Whether wee would hold communion with other Churches 6. Whether wee would relieve the Saints that were in Communion according to our abilitie 7. Whether we would not rest in the light that we had received but would study to know the mind of God and live up unto it This is the substance of our engagement as I remember At this time and somewhile after there was never a woman of the Church but my selfe and yet at every meeting about Church affaires Master Stucley would send for mee and when I pleaded for my absence at such times from the meetings that of the Apostle Let your women keep silence in the Church for it is not permitted unto them to speake he replyed he would do nothing without the consent of the whole And when I was present he himselfe would constraine me to speak my opinion of things proposed We were as I said formerly very desirous of the Sacrament in order to which our first work was to get a Minister that might administer it Although Master Stucley was with us yet the people of Torrington claimed an engagement from him that Towne having been visited with the plague and deprived of their Mininisters maintenance Master Stucley who was their Minister for those reasons left them but with a promise of returning so soon as the Lord should remove his hand and sufficient maintenance for a Minister should be procured both which being at this time effected we could not chuse him to be an Officer untill he were by them freed from his engagement in order hereunto much meanes was used Master Bartlet was imployed to perswade them unto it but they with one consent refused it saying that seeing he had promised to returne they expected that he should keep promise with them Hereupon we wrote for counsell to some of the Congregationall Churches in London Master Feake and Master Harrison in their answers to our Letters affirmed that Master Stucley was bound in conscience to goe unto Torrington that it would be dishonourable to the Gospel to leave them unlesse he could get their consent for his dismission At length Master Stucley himselfe accompanied with two or three of the Church rode thither where having made an agreement with the people those that rode with him were called in to consent therunto which they accordingly did At their returne Master Stucley required each one of us to consent likewise unto the agreement they made at Torrington without declaring what it was which being done by all the men he desired the sisters there being other women now added to the Church to do the like which my selfe and some others refused resolving that we would not act by an implicite faith Master Stucley thereupon said that what was done was a Church act because they who went with him consented thereunto viz. that we were engaged to get a Minister for the people of Torrington Accordingly there was one procured who continued with them for a time This Serpentine subtilty of his I tooke speciall notice of and did for it reprove him to his face we were in the meane time and so continued for some yeares in a bewildred condition without either of the Sacraments some not having their children baptized in a long time others did procure some Congregationall Minister to do it And as for the Lords Supper they who would partake of it rode to other places in the Country most of the people were very indifferent whether we had the Ordinances or no seeking themselves getting places and offices designing how they might build their owne houses and as for Master Stucley himselfe he was so distracted with Law-suits Intangled with the world and mony engagements as that he was seldome with us at our fasts and times of prayer Hence I began to suspect that they intended nothing but separation and setting up of themselves and their owne interests and designes which did exceedingly trouble mee Upon our private fast dayes when wee had done praying it was our custome for the help of those that were to pray to spend a little time in Conference and at such times did I take occasion to speak of the disorders among us told theÌ„ plainly that I feard we did separate froÌ„ others more godly then our selves as Cain who went out from the presence of the Lord to build citties that there was little regard had to what we at first pretended the setting up of pure ordinances I often told them that I never heard or read in Scripture or other history that the Lord did make use of a people of such an earthly luke-warme and indifferent spirit in any publique worke of reformation that it was not a party or confederacy that I looked after but to have the Gospel more discovered in greater light and beauty and the ordinances to be enjoyed in greater purity the beauty of Gods ornament to be set in Majestie and more purity and selfe-deniall to appeare in us who had separated from all mixtures Because I conceive that purity lay onely in this way therefore was I very forward and zealous in it hoping to leave posterity the ordinances pure and the name of God glorious in the brightnesse of the Gospel for this cause did I deale so plainly with them with which plaine and faithfull dealing they pretended many times to be much affected and thereupon would do something more in order to Religion then they had formerly Master Stucley as I said before being troubled about the things of this world left us to our selves very often in our
Charity This was witnessed by Seaven persons Solution This cannot prove me Contentious any more then the generality of them who have acknowledged that they did speak against her and some of them told me that whereas I had one thing against her they had twenty yea Mr. Stucley himselfe was so dissatisfied with her as that he took advice with another minister about her but I remember the law of Charity to the dead and therefore forbear to adde any more but refer the Reader to my Narrative where she is brought in as a witnesse against me for lying as she is here to prove me contentious Surely if Mr. Eveleigh did ever love her whiles she lived the best testimony he can give of it will be by letting her alone to rest quietly in her grave and not urge me any more to publish that which the law of Charity requires to be concealed Instance 5. She caused a great deale of disturbance amongst us after the Officers were chosen in pressing with much earnestnesse that Mr. Stoneham might be chosen Pastor this was witnessed by three persons Resol I know not what he meanes by disturbance nor who was disturbed neither have I any ground to believe that I caused the least disturbance to any as to this particular If I had caused such a great deale of disturbance amongst them it might have been witnessed by more than three witnesses And as for Mr. Stoneham I wonder they should alleadge him as an Instance of my Contentiousnesse now he is absent who when he was present in the name of the Church pronounced me innocent as to this very impeachment after he was Officer Inst 6. She did a long time contend for womens speaking in the Church and being admoshed for practising accordingly she did openly professe that she would not be present at Church meetings when matters were debated unlesse she might have that liberty and being denied she ever since contemptuously neglected Church meetings and slighted the officers of the Church In pag. 20 of Mr. Mall's book he laies down the charge in these words She took liberty of speaking in the Church for some time and being reproved by me for it from time to time there was a visible decay of affection to me c. Solut. That it is false as to the whole charge taken together appeares in that there are none as in the former particulars mentioned who did witnesse it neither will he ever find any unlesse they be desperately hardned that dare affirme it which I shall make evident in my Answers to the severall particulars thereof As to the first particular viz. she took the the liberty of speaking and she did a long time contend for womens speaking c. To this I answer 1 As for womens speaking it was usually practised amongst us by the rest of my Sex And it is well known that the power was pretended at first to be in the body of the people in the multitude so that every one had the liberty of assenting or dissenting of arguing and debating any matter proposed whether men or women If women were denied the liberty of speaking how could they declare their Experiences yea A. P. was kept off for refusing this 2. It is false that I took the liberty of speaking it was not only given me but the liberty of being silent was denied me and that by Mr. Stucley himselfe who would send for me at the meetings even then when there was never a woman of the Church but my selfe and afterwards many times he would single me out in the meetings and urge me very earnestly to declare my Judgment in reference to what had been proposed 3. As to my contending for womens speaking by my former Answers it appeares that Mr Stucley hath little reason to charge me with it unlesse he expected that I should be as fickle as himselfe in taking up and laying down opinions and practises as they suited with or thwarted his humour and interest As to the second particular whereas he saith he admonished and reproved me for it from time to time I answer That all the Admonition and Reproofe I had from him was that mentioned in my Narrative viz that my speaking was disrelishd by some whereupon I resolved Silence for the future although I had looked on the Contrary as my duty formerly which resolution I accordinglie kept alwaies after the Officers were chosen unlesse it were when I was required to give in my thoughts concerning a person proposed or asked a question yea Mr. Stucley witnesseth for me in the charge it selfe where he saith it was a long time that I contended for womens speaking and in Mr Mall's book for some time c. By which it is evident that I did not continue in the practise thereof to the last how can then my speaking be brought as an Instance to prove me contentious one ground of their Suspension neer three yeares after I had left of this practise As for what he saith followed on his Reproving and admonishing me viz. 1 A decay of Affection to him I answer if there were such a visible decay of affection he mistook the cause of it It was not his reproving of me no the reproof was so mild and gentle and at such a distance as that I had litle reason to be angry with him for it But it was his selfe-seeking and minding his own things more then the things of Christ c. against which I did declare my dislike both before and after this reproof and admonition As to what he saies that after their denying me the libertie of speaking I contemptuously neglected Church meetings and slighted the officers I answer that it is a grosse lye a lye so egregious as that the whole church can vvitnesse if they please against it For I was after this constantly at church meetings the liberty of speaking by a Brother being allowed me yea I declared that I was very much dissatisfied because the meetings after the Officers were chosen for conferring one with another were not continued as formerly I never absented my selfe but upon some necessary hindrance which was not often As for slighting of the Officers I answer that I gave them so much honour as was due unto them according to my power if they had not so much as they desired let them consider whether they did not desire more then they deserved They that rule well are worthy of double honour 3d Charge The Censoriousness of her Spirit was evidēced in her uncharitable language cōcerning the Presbyterians and us also reporting one to be fallen from the faith another to have nothing of God in her charging Mr. Stoneham to have walked contrary to the Apostles counsell 2 Cor. 4.2 And to have such expressions in preaching and prayer as were but as chaffe to the wheat And imputing the afflictions of some of the church to their unworthy receiving of the Lords body These were proved by many witnesses and her own letters Ans As to
meetings so that it is not to be wondred at if in them there were much strange fire both in prayer and exposition of the Scriptures they being meere Novices and in the entrance of Christianity and many of them scarce well principled I feared that the name of God was often taken in vain in prayer sure I am that much ignorance pride and selfe confidence and a Diotrephes spirit strongly working appeared in many of them N.E. One of them affirmed that there was no iniquity of the holy things c. this being delivered without any caution when the meeting was publique I told him of it in private the same day Owen Another who had formerly beene an Anabaptist then a Seeker next as I was informed a Papist or little better very much addicted to the study of their bookes the most conviction that he had as was reported was by Jonas Ware since a Roman Catholique who went to Rome and then turning to prelacy and the booke of Common-prayer and afterward an Independent the same person was very forward at our meetings and did often put forth himselfe in the duty of prayer which was a great trouble to mee to heare how the name of God was taken in vaine by him insomuch as that I earnestly desired Master Stucley to hinder him from engaging in that duty till he understood the nature of it better I acquainted him likewise of other disorders and miscarriages very frequent at our meetings declaring how much I was troubled at them for redresse of which I intreated him to be constantly with us But he endeavoured to quiet me with this that they were honest though weak and further perswaded me to be constant at the meetings to be faithfull unto them in minding them of what was amisse I told him it was more fit for me to be in private meditation to be gathering rather then scattering but he replyed that the time was now not to be Closet-Professors but to say come let us go up to the house of the Lord to seek the Lord together with our faces Zion-ward And though I pleaded my Sex my naturall and sinfull infirmities which made me unfit to speak unto others yet he pressed it on me as my duty And when there was any Jarring between them and my selfe he desired me not to be troubled though I met with opposition that one was of a Souldierly spirit another of a dull Spirit that it was meere Envy promising to speak with them about it himselfe Yea when I resolved to be silent at some meetings Mr. Stucley himselfe would single me out and even constraine me to speak As concerning my Carriage at the Admission of members I shall give a briefe account of it as followeth They who desired admission into the Society were sometimes desired in a private meeting to speak what experience they had of the worke of grace upon their Soules after which we were every one of us both men and women to declare our thoughts of what was spoken it being laid down as a ground that we must have an account of a change from a naturall and legall estate into an estate of grace and believing of those whom we admitted into communion with us I among the rest did according to my weak measure declare my selfe against that which I thought would not stand for grace I was so far from delighting in this work as that it was a trouble to me an Imployment from which I would willingly have been freed I conceived it more needfull for my selfe to study the worrd and compare my own heart with the rule then to be so taken up about the condition of others But this was our principle we were to keep the house of God pure we were set as Porters at the door it was our duty we were not to be wanting at such times yea it was our liberty that we who were to have communion with those vvho came to be admitted should give in our assent or dissent in reference to their admission I did therefore at such times declare my thoughts asvvell as the rest but left the determination to themselves as it appeares in Ganicle vvho vvas admitted though I vvas at the first against his admission I mention him because he vvas brought by Mr. Eveleigh as an Instance of my censoriousnesse I vvas blamed for disliking him vvhom they said vvas one of the most eminent among them and yet it vvas not long after before he discovered himselfe by Renouncing the principles of Christianity and turning Quaker He in speaking out his Experiences pretended unto much Joy and ravishment of Spirit but the Lord knovves vvhen he spake of such enjoyments he spake as a stranger that never intermedled vvith this Joy never declaring any povverfull effect thereof but only that vvhich vvas only but a Balaams vvish I the rather instance in him because he was the first that kindled the fire of Contention which then brake out in that manner as it is not quenched to this day here began the Quarrell on their part When I was called by the Elder to give in my thoughts concerning a Person proposed he most disorderly intercepted me for which there vvas not the least admonition given him but not long after his folly was made manifest by his Casting off the very forme of godlinesse This is one and the Cheife one of those persons whom I disliked though approved of by the Church If I be contentious for opposing such a one let me be contentious still though none among them will witnesse for me yet he doth he stands to this day as a sad witnesse between me and them whether I were contentious in my oppositions or they infallible in their determinations Besides as for some who continue among them if you look for distinguishing Characters they are scarcely visible much lesse easy to be discerned Thus I did from time to time whilst we were without Officers and Ordinances partly through the great desire I had to promote the worke of Reformation among us partly through Mr Stucley's instigation reprove them for their indifferency of Spirit stir them up to that which I conceived vvas their duty for vvhich I alvvaies gave them my grounds and reasons But after the officers vvere chosen I never medled to my remembrance vvith Church affaires nor spake in the meetings after I heard by Mr. Stucley my speaking vvas disrelisht unlesse a Question vvas proposed and I vvas desired to give my Ansvver unto it Not long after the Officers vvere chosen I being at Mr. Stucley's house desired him to resolve me concerning a true Church he then confessed that the Churches of New England did acknovvledge the Churches of old England from vvhence we had separated to be true Churches I told him thereupon that vve could not justifie our Separation At length vve falling into discourse of other things he said my speaking vvas disrelisht by some I ansvvered that I did not like it my selfe and therefore vvould be from
he slighted that and hath taken libertie in pulpit and in print to render our names and our persons odious to all the world as if the sword of excommunication had not been sharp enough unlesse it were sharpned by him at the Philistins forge and in the meane time takes liberty to himselfe to practice that for which he pretends he hath censured me as for lying I could instance in severall of their charges that they are no other but lies Not to mention the severall reports that have been spread concerning me as not worth the taking notice of which have one contradicted the other and not two of the Reporters found in one tale as hath been taken notice of as I am informed by a person of credit this is not worth the taking notice of But that false report that hath been raised by them and spread in citty and countrie on Mr Ford the minister that he should slight lying and that say lying was the property of a woman Whereas the truth is that when Mr Ford and Mr Bartlet Ministers and Mr Stucley and Mr Eveleigh were met at Mr Fords house Mr Stucley and Mr Eveleigh accused me of Scandall and brought in a charge of lying against me instancing in Mris Eveleigh and my speaking against the Presbyterians which I have allready answered Mr Ford still cald for more more charge then to make up their accusation they said that I was fickle Mr Ford answered them that is as much as to say she is a woman this I know to be the truth and yet the report is spread by them in City and Country that he said that lying was the property of a woman and herein have they discovered their falsehood and rage against such an Eminent labourer in Christs Vineyard who hath given abundant Testimony that he seeks not himselfe but the things of Christ And as for Contention how hath Mr Stucley discovered himselfe guilty to all the world Doeg like falling on Magistrates and Ministers whom he supposeth stands in his way as his Sermon and printed books do witnesse Give me leave to take notice of it as David when he heard how Saul had cut off the Lords Priests saith he I have occasioned the death of all these And for Censoriousnesse how doth it appeare not by secret search but upon their severall Accusations wherein the greatest ground of their proceedings against me hath been a censuring of the ends of my words and actions which is Gods prerogative alone who searcheth the heart and tryeth the reines Let the Impartiall Reader judge whether they sought the glory of Christ to convince me of this sin whē it is that which was yet is usually practised by themselves Witnesse their usuall calling Mr Fords preaching Rayling and nonsence and some of them would have the Pulpit shut against Mr Ford and Would have had the notes of his Sermons to pick occasion against him and perswaded me not to hear him and I was questioned many times for hearing of him not only the Lords daies but on Lecture daies also I cannot but take notice of Mr Mall in his reasons pressing them to renew their Covenant He saith such poor wretches are given up to Judiciall hardnesse so that they are sorry for nothing so much as that they with such a Church entred into Covenant with God and again such wrethes they have renewed their Covenant with hell and Satan For answer what Covenant I have ented into with God whether with them or any other I desire still to own and acknowledge that I am engaged unto to performe and am resolved in the strength of Christ never to retract And if in any particular I have denyed my Covenant with God it lies upon them to convince me of it It is not enough for them to charge Covenant breaking and perjury and Schisme it lies upon them to prove their charge otherwise I am not engaged to an Implicite faith to believe them I think our letter we sent to them will testifie that we did not retract our Covenant with God when we did professe our submission to the law and will of Christ wherein I think we did own our Covenant with God more than they did who by their Explicite Covenant engaged themselves to an Implicite faith in subjection to Mr Stucley's ministeriall guidance and teaching without any restriction or limitation And yet how doth he boast pag. 13. as if they were a company of believers that will part from life rather then from a little command and their hands are fill'd with both Tables is not this practice of theirs a contradiction to this profession yet pag. 29. exhorting them to keep to the Church of Christ he tells them he cannot but approve of their purpose to subscribe a covenant that will be a fence against a lawlesse Spirit Moses who was a servant in the house of God and God testifies of him that he was faithfull in all the house of God see Deut. 33.4 Moses commanded us a law even the Inheritance of the congregation of Jacob. Is not this fence against lawlesse Spirits that God hath prescribed his Church sufficient but that Mr Stucley must engage the people to himselfe as if his designe were to seek himselfe and to espouse a people to himselfe and not to Christ It was the commendation that the Apostle gives of his hearers that they received the word with all readinesse of mind and earched the Scriptures dayly whether those things be so or no but here they Ingage to absolute subjection to Mr Stucleys Ministry without any Caution I the rather take notice of it because they may consider that whiles they are Censuring us they forget themselves and their Engagements to Christ and to his Lawes that whereas they have profest the taking Christ for their King and Law-giver now they set up men in the roome of Christ without any mention of the Law and Septer of Christ And yet he pretends that his booke called Manifest truth is set forth by him to prevent the Gospells suffering although he ha h had a Bratherly admonition given him by the unknowne author Diotrephes detected and Archippus admonished yet he never takes notice of this particular to give any Satisfaction unto it or to remove the offence taken by it And now for a close of all I shall desire Mr Stucley to retyre himselfe a little from the world and those multitudes of designes hee is at present so much entangled with having done this seriously and sadly consider a while of that great day of accounts wherein the hidden workes of darknesse shall be fully discovered by him whose eyes are as a flame of fire if he doth thinke in good earnest that there is such a day coming wherein he must by accountable for all his actions let him I say consider what account he can give to Christ of his late proceedings against Mris Allen and my selfe will it thinks he be enough to say that his credit and esteem in the world could not be upheld without it that the Interest of that party with whom he sided consisted therein that he had Majors Collonels Knights Ladies to stand by him if he account these vaine and foolish pleas now why should hee how dared he act upon such grounds now His only way therefore will be to repent of this his wickednesse and pray God if perhaps the thoughts of his heart may be forgiven him which will be more to his honour then by Printing any more angry bookes against two weake women who are not able to speake for themselves in Print neither is it required so well as men especially Schollers to withold the truth in unrighteousnesse to oppresse the Innocent and to cover his own Sin which whosoever doth shall not prosper the mouth of the Lord hath spoken it FINIS