if she shall see me almost Shipwracked whilst in the mean time she Sailing with prosperous Winds securely casts Anchor in my Marriage-Bed Euripides according to his Custome severely chideth them who at Supper were accustomed to use a Harp for that sound is apt to incite anger and sadness rather than to recreate them who are pleasant so I may blame those Wives who although when aâ— amity and concord they often sleep with their Husbands yet anger intervening they lye asunder and reject conjugal embraces by the delectableness and artifice whereof they might easily be reconciled Juno in Homer to whose care the Nuptial ties are committed signifies the same for if I well remember when she spoke of Thetis and Oceanus she professed that she would compose their differences and unite them by love and mutual embraces But at Rome when any difference arose between Husband and Wife they entred into the Temple of the appeasing Goddess where the Spectators being withdrawn having discoursed together freely they returned home in concord it conduceth to domestick care and peace if a Wife shall preserve the love of her Husband with singular diligence When Gorgias Leontinus made an Oration concerning the reconciliation of the Grecians in the Olympick Games which were celebrated with the concourse of all Greece to the most great and most worthy Jupiter Melanthus said That our Oratour endeavours to perswade us that we should all be reconciled by a League who yet cannot induce himself and his Wife and his Maid three only mutually to agree for his Wife was jealous because Gorgias wonderfully loved his Maid Philip was long displeased with Olympias and Alexander in the mean time Demaradus Corinthius returned out of Greece whom when Philip had diligently and earnestly asked concerning the agreement of the Grecians he said O Philip I esteem it a most dishonourable thing that you should manifestly evidence your care of the peace and concord of all Greece when as yet you are not reconciled to your Wife and Son therefore if any Woman desire to regulate her Children and Servants in the first place she should agree with her Husband lest she be thought willing to imitate that which she reproves in them that therefore by her duty she may take care for their mutual peace and perpetual repose she must chiefly regard this that she by no means disagree with her Husband But of these things hitherto CHAP. I. Concerning Conjugal Love NOW let us speak of conjugal love the great efficacy and dignity whereof as worthy Men assure us in a manner expresseth the Pattern of a perfect friendship wherein I shall pass by many things that I may speedily discourse what is chiefly to be observed therefore I would have a Woman love her Husband with so great delight faithfulness and affection that nothing of diligence love and good will may be absent and let her be so conversant with him that it may be most certain that nothing will be good to her nothing pleasant without her Husband indeed I conceive that Love it self will be the greatest assistance to this matter for in all things it is no better nor no shorter course to seem than to be How much labour how much industry is necessary for a slothful Husbandman to exhibit if he would seem skilful How much wit how many arts have unskilful Physitians horse-riders and harpers need of that they may seem to excel others if they would be employed in those things which they can least do For the most part many things happen whereby the eounterfeit praise of Agriculture Physick Horsmanship and Musick vanisheth these persons if they will take my advice shall more easily more speedily and more certainly attain a solid and express repute than if they shall suborn proclaimers of their ambitious and feigned praise and because in every respect truth overcomes imitation the Husbandman should take care to till his Field by art and labour the Physitian to heal the distempers of men the Horse-rider to manage his unruly Horses at his pleasure and the Musitian so to delight with his melody that nothing may be more sweet nothing more pleasant to the Ears wherefore if Wives desire to seem to love their Husbands cordially let them love them in their hearts Let them endeavour in the first place that their Husbands may clearly perceive them to be both pensive and joyful according to the various state of their affairs for both congratulation is pleasant in prosperous and consolation is acceptable in adverse affairs whatsoever things are troublesome to them so that they be worthy to be told to a prudent person let them mutually impart let them feign nothing let them dissemble nothing let them conceal nothing oftentimes sorrow and trouble of mind is mitigated by Counsel and Discourse which ought to be most pleasant with her Husband he in a manner participating and partaking of all the pressures and difficulties of all her anxieties will extinguish or alleviate them but if they shall be very grievous and more deeply fixed she should make a truce with her sorrows even so long as will be expedient for her to desire the private society of her Husband finally I would that Wives should so live with their Husbands that in a manner they might be of one mind and if it could be done as Pythagoras would have it in friendship that two should become one That this might more easily be effected the Cretenses who now for many Ages have been under our Dominion permitted their daughters to be married to none but those to whom the Virgins themselves had expressed signs of love for they believed that those would be more beloved by their Wives who were beloved even before the Nuptial Union for they affirm that it is appointed by Nature and approved by Custom that all actions besides a very few are done in a course of time for neither when we touch the fire are we presently burned nor doth wood thrown into the fire instantly flame wherefore they think it necessary for them that as in the loving of Friends so also in Husbands they should judiciously chuse the resemblance of their own minds for they believe that they can neither be rightly known nor ardently loved on a sudden Let them consider how much this Custom should be approved But truly it will not be denyed to be accommodated to the concord and constancy of love Neither may I pass by those in silence who by amorous Potions and love Inchantments extort their Husbands love whom I am wont to compare to Fishers who render the Fishes taken by poyson as they use to do in some places of Hetruria insipid and almost useless Also they seem like Travellers who had rather lead the blind than follow them who see Therefore mutual love should be diligently and voluntarily acquired preserved and augmented These things are illustrated by the lives and most noble actions of Women in the imitation whereof Panthia making tryal of her self and the
that of one Philip of Padua He being the Son of a rich and noble Father fervently loved a wanton Woman of extraordinary Beauty from whose love he could not be withdrawn by the authority and kindness of his Father when his Father observed these things with the great hazard of his Sons reputation he resolved to apply a Remedy to his Distemper he hires that mercenary unchaste Woman addicted to venereal pleasures keeps her at home with his Son the wretched young man lodges with her embraces her and for some daies injoyes that sensual pleasure which he accounted the chief and only good not long after when satiety began to asswage his unlawful love and he began to disdain her with a greater freedom that which he was wont to love so ardently in her he despiseth and by little and little the youth recovered and was freed by the care of his Father from that cruel and furious distemper What happiness can we expect in a Wife if beauty alone shall attract our affections to her to whom worth and the society of a comfortable life should unite us Truly we can hope for no better success than Menelaus had with Helen or if we observe fables Vulcan with Venus or Minos with Pasiphae or Theseus with Phaedra or that I may look homeward Claudius Caesar with Messalina But why should I with many words so long insist upon these things as concerning obscure matters let us love fair Wives if they be correspondent in other things that the Nuptials may be delightful to us honourable and advantageous to our Posterity CHAP. VI. Concerning the Riches of a Wife to be chosen I Have sufficiently discoursed concerning Manners Age Extraction and Beauty furthermore according to our purpose we shall speak a few things which seem not impertinent to this matter concerning Riches which is the remaining part to be treated of in the choice of a Wife Since therefore we pursue all things which appertain to the Honour and Ornament of Wedlock and to the plenty wealth riches and conveniences of life we must be careful of our honour and profit which produce gratitude liberality and magnificence in which truly the greatest splendour of Vertue consists Although we may be liberal by the inclinations of a grateful mind yet even as Emperours Orators and Physicians we shall not seem highly praise-worthy unless we manifest our desires by our actions Wherefore Riches are useful for many things for we may give to every one according to their desert and bestow much upon our Neighbours and Friends whereby we shall fortifie our Children with the riches assistance and love of those to whom we have been liberal for Parents are remarked and loved in their Children and no duty should seem more honourable than Gratitude wherein whoever is voluntarily deficient he must necessarily be impious against the immortal God his Country Parents Kindred and Friends finally he offends against all those by whose bounty he being obliged is neither thankful to them nor remunerates them Whence very nobly by the Persian Laws ingrateful Persons were severely punished for as Herodotus relates they accounted it the greatest fault to lye but the next to be indebted Why not They rightly conceived that he who was not ashamed to owe to another would both often erre against the duty of a good man in many things and deceive him and lye most often Therefore we should so highly value Riches which although we our selves have little need of yet the most honourable use thereof most largely extends to our Friends and to all sorts of Persons Alexander sent a great deal of Gold to that excellent person Phocion that most severe and most constant person refused the Gift because he had no need of that Money Afterwards he was asked whether he had no Friends whom the society of their most noble Studies and similitude of life had joined to himself it being most equitable that he should be bountiful and liberal to them but you may see O Phocion what you have determined of your self Indeed the almost incredible Riches of Darius scarce sufficed Alexander liberally to relieve their Fortunes whose worth was dear to him This will be a great advantage to your Children that which should be esteemed most noble generous young men should be instructed and taught excellent Studies and Arts wherewith being endued they may become Children worthy of those renowned Persons their Parents and may render their Ancestors more illustrious Which since it is so we must be diligently careful of our wealth lest we be judged and thought by them who envy us to have ill provided for our Profit and Honour But as if Wine be mingled with Water and if there be the greater part and portion of the Water than of the Wine yet we call it Wine so we term Plenty and Riches the Husbands not the Wives although the woman brought the greater and more valuable part thereof although I think he most consults his own interest not who accumulates the most to but who makes the best provision for his Family concerns Moreover as the Physicians assert it is necessary to our perfect health that moisture be dispersed through all the parts of the body so we instruct them who marry that they should unite not Money whereof we speak but Minds and Friends and mutual Relations one to another wherefore it was enacted by the Roman Laws that the Man and Wife should not receive any Gifts of each other that they might be assured that nothing was peculiar but all things common to each other whereby the domestick Affairs might be managed with a greater care diligence and faithfulness That of Dion to Dionysius is true Every one is more diligent in his own than in others concerns Whence wisely Princes are wonted to be admonished to consider that their Cities are their Houses their Citizens their Children and themselves the Prefects of their Family that they may provide for the safety and welfare of those Concerns over which they preside by care judgment industry and vigilance and desire their felicity But of these things hitherto I would our Age had happened in that time in which Youth had been to be taught not untaught that it should not greatly esteem Riches and Money in Wedlock truly the society and union of men had been best preserved But the most even from their infancy are so inclined and instructed to a vain hope of lucre that they will omit nothing which they can endeavour or perform by labour and perils that they think can contribute to this their servile avarice Wherefore I resolved not to incite nor inflame the Youth of our Age highly to value Riches with Wives but rather to exhort them if their Estates will permit to deliberate hereof even as I have written after all other things I fear I have offended very many but yet I will speak what I think I cannot enough blame those who by how much the richer they are so much more earnestly they
to all living Creatures which bring forth and hath given them Breasts like overflowing Fountains by which the young one being nourished may by degrees be augmented and corroborated in the Parts of its Body she hath also therefore given them two Paps that if they brought forth Twins they might easily suckle and nourish them together which things although they are transacted with great wisdom yet they would seem done in vain if she had not Implanted in them a certain stupendious love and affection to their Issue Where the peculiar care and diligence of Nature may be observed for whereas she hath placed other Creatures Paps under their Bellies she hath so affixed Womens Breasts to their Bosoms that they might both suckle them with their Milk and cherish them with their embraces and easily and conveniently kiss them and as it is said receive them into their Bosoms for so she hath assigned to them the capacity of bringing forth and the duty of education not only of necessity but of her singular love and good will that which we perceive in the terrible Bear and savage Beasts is also a great argument if they would imitate them to induce Women to employ their greatest care in adorning their Childrenâ— who after she hath brought forth her mishapen Cub formeth and polisheth it with her Tongue as it were with some Instrument so that she may most rightly be termed not only the Dam of the Cub but also the Artificer Why should we insist upon these small matters Nature concedeth so great a love to Issue that we may perceive Brutes which of themselves are fearful hereby become most bold and those which were negligent most subtle and those which were greedy most sparing Did not also the Bird in Homer suffer hunger that it might provide food for its young ones and to supply them defrauded its own Belly Therefore Mothers will deserve grievous reproaches if they neglect the care of their Children and live carelesly I would have them to refuse no pains to obtain most excellent associates assistants and comforters in their old age therefore if Mothers would be innocent they should not neglect their Children but that they may provide for their Souls and Bodies they should cherish them and suckle them whom being unknown they nourished with their own Blood being now born now Men and Women now known now dear and they should themselves as well as they could educate them it is not only the duty of a Nurse but also of a careful Mother The Wife of Marcus Cato the Censor suckled her Infant with her own Milk which Custome continueth among the Roman Women even to this Age. Moreover because a Society in Meat and Drink increaseth love and friendship that she might render the Children of her Servants well affected to her Infant she sometimes gave them suck whom we desire and exhort the best Wâ—men to imitate especially since it is highly important that in whose Womb and of whose Blood the Inâ—ant was conceived it should also by her be nourished for no nourishment seems more fit none more wholsome than that the same aliment which is endued with much heat and vigour and which is a known aâ—d familiar Food should be given to the Children whose efficacie is such that in the forming the properties of the Body and Mind it is almost equivalent to the Virtue of the spermatick faculty this is evidently perceived in many things Kids being suckled with Sheeps Milk their Hair will by degrees become more soft but if Lambs be suckled by Goats it is certain that their Fleeces will become more rough In Trees it is certain that there is a greater efficacy both in the Sap and Soil than in Children for although they be pleasant and chearful yet if they be removed to anothers Lap you may observe them much endamaged and greatly changed by the Milk of the Nurse Therefore noble Women should endeavour to sucklâ— their Children left the aliment of a worse and engrafted Milk should cause them to degenerate â—ut if as it often happens the Mothers cannot for just causes suckle their Children they should think that they should take and substitute in their Office Nurses not Slaves nor strangers nor drunken nor unchaste Women but them who are free born well humoured and endued with curious Language lest the young Infant should imbibe corrupt manners and words and with the very Milk sucking turpitude errours and impure infirmities it should by a degenerate body and mind be infected with pernicious contagions for as the Joints of an Infant may be rightly formed and joined together so from their Childhood their Manners may be exactly and aptly composed therefore they should be curious in the choice of Nurses this age and this as yet pliant mind is most easie to fashion for as we Imprint a Seal upon soft Wax so the dispositions and distempers of the Nurse are wont to be Engraven upon Children whose inclination and nature how prevalent it is that most prudent Poet Maro demonstrates who relateth that Dido â—erming Aeneas not only fierce but cruel said The Hircanian Tygers gave you suck also that most pleasant Poet Theocritus complaineth of the same detesting the cruel Cupid not because he was born of his Mother Venus but because he had sucked the Paps of a Lioness Wherefore they should think it best and very decent and commendable to suckle their Children whom they should nourish with great love faithfulness and diligence or to commit this part of their duty to well instructed Nurses who may esteem and love them not with a feigned and mernary diligence After they have passed their infancy the mothers should imploy their Wit Care and endeavour to qualifie them with excellent endowments of mind and body first they should teach them their duty to the immortal God to their Country and Parents that they may accustom them from their infancie to relish that which is the Foundation of other virtues they will approve themselves to be the most hopeful who fear God obey the Laws honour their Parents reverence their Superiours are affable to their Equals and courteous to their Inferiours therefore they should entertain all men with a civil aspect countenance and finally obliging words but they should most familiarly converse with the best Persons they should so learn Temperance in Meat and Drink that they may lay as it were the foundation of Abstinence for their future Lives Mothers should admonish them to avoid those Pleasures which are dishonourable Children should apply their endeavour mind and thoughts to these things which may be ornamental useful and delightful in greater matters If Mothers instruct their Children in these things they will much better and more easily obtain the assistances of Learning Oftentimes we see the Commands and Gifts of Princes most welcom to their Subjects although yet the same proceeding from private Persons scarce seem acceptable Who is ignorant how much authority the mild and jejune speech of a Parent
which have been handled and taught by Zachary and many Learned Persons But I think that this is first to be premonished that you chuse a Virgin not a Widow a young not an elderly Woman for she will more easily learn those things which are necessary and commodious and if she hath contracted any Vices they may more speedily be eradicated For we can easily make impressions upon soft Wax but we can scarce deface those which are impress'd upon hard and solid We may affix upon tender minds what institutes we please We can scarce with great ingeny elaborate industry and singular care reduce Widows formed both to their own and others humours to our own customes for who can hope to straighten old Vines which were at first crooked Who will conceive that a young Man nourished in Alexandrian pleasures will change his course of life to that of an abstemious old Man Who will think that he will be well qualified in old age who in his youth was obstinate lustful audacious and cruel So Widows if they have imbibed any vicious habits we may almost despair of reducing them to our course of life Wherefore excellently Timotheus that noble Trumpeter was wont to require a double reward from them who formerly had received instructions from other Masters of that Art and a single one from them who were ignorant of that Art for as these are to be taught so those are to be untaught before they are capable of instruction To this refers that reason which is approved by use and produced by Nature For those relate who enquire exquisitely into the hidden causes of things that Nature her self intends that which is the best and that when she cannot produce a Male she conceives a Female which is ennobled and perfected by the union of the Male and therefore that Women love those most to whom they are joined in the first congress Why is it so Because a Virgin will more easily entertain good Manners and renounce her depraved and will love more ardently Moreover the Marriages of Widows amongst the Romans could not escape the imputation of levity and impudence who also permitted a Divorce but those whom they observed to be content with one only Husband they highly admired for their modesty Neither did they defraud the Matrons of their due praise who preserved purely and with a sincere faithfulness their affections devoted to their former Husbands although defunct Who will not deservedly condemn her of intemperance whose fervent desires are not capable of an allay by the embraces of many Husbands Who will not admire with great delight the chaste Dido who said He who first join'd me to himself hath engross'd my love he shall enjoy and possess it in his Sepulchre Which none should wonder at since Crows and Turtles by Natures instinct when their Mates are dead continue chaste and in a manner Widows I have expatiated too much while I reprove the Marriages and accuse the Incontinence of Widows Let us therefore return to the Subject of our Discourse It chiefly conduceth to Domestick Peace that a parity of dispositions and similitude of desires do unite Husbands and Wives or retain them being united For this reason prudent Antiquity together with Venus hath placed in the Temples Mercury and the Graces and Obsequence because conformity of minds concord and complaisance claim to themselves a chief place in the duty of a Wife Henceforth we are to treat at what time a Woman is Marriageable and of years adapted to the Nuptial state Hesiod that most ancient Poet and Xenophon that most sweet Philosopher have ascribed the fourteenth year to a Woman the thirtieth to a Man but Lycurgus hath appointed the eighteenth year for Women but the thirty-seventh for Men chiefly accounting it advantagious to Posterity in the propagation whereof he did not so much regard the number as the strength In this place O most pleasant Laurentius I desire thee to give me leave to digress freely which I know will not be unpleasant to thee For this cause therefore he appointed that his Citizens should not lodge with their Wives in the same Beds but that they should privately join embraces with them in the day-time that they being restrained from a perpetual and as I may so say unlimited congress they might take care of their health and that their Children might be more robust For that most prudent Person foresaw that mortals were apt to delight in fond sensual pleasures from the allurements whereof he hoped for the greatest part to defend his Citizens by restraining them from a continual volupty To this matter the Female Discipline much contributed for he took care by many Sports and Games that the Wives Dignity might not incur any disgrace by sloth or idleness for he appointed a School of Running Shooting Discipline and of Wrestling for the Spartane Women that they being frequently exercised therein their Sons and Daughters might obtain a Natural strength from their Parents He also declared that he was therefore the Author of that Law that the Spartane Women might more undauntedly endure the pains of Travail and if at any time any contention arose they might fight couragiously for their Children I suppose conjecture that these years of Marriage were limited by him that as much as could be the weakness of that Sex might be defended from the snares of pleasures whereby it came to pass that the Laconian Women greatly excell'd as in all kind of glory so especially in modesty The most noble answer of Geradata the Lacedemonian is a solemn Testimony hereof whom when Xentus asked what punishment by the Laws of Lycurgus were inflicted upon Adulterers he answered That Lycurgus had not enacted any thing concerning them since it is apparent that we have not one Adulterer amongst us neither O Xentus would I have thee admire at it since amongst us Luxury Riches Ornaments and the other allurements of Pleasure are disesteemed but Frugality Modesty and Chastity cannot be sufficiently applauded In which Laws the Spartan Women being born and educated they alone seemed to bring forth not only Men but excellent Persons whiâ—â— it is reported that Gorgon the Wife of Leonides did assert For when a certain Guest of her Husband blamed the Lacedemonian Women because unlike to others they ruled their Husbands Gorgon said I confess it neither do we wrong them therein because we alone bring forth excellent Men. But perchance I have insisted longer on these things than is needful I think it unnecessary now to pronounce a definitive Sentence which of these Opinions is the true Truly in the Sentiments of a prudent Judge each defends it self For neither as I hope do you desire of me that I should prescribe certain Laws as it were framed by inevitable necessity as they say by Parliamentary Rolls concerning Wives but I will chiefly insist upon those things which I find approved either by precept or use yet we allow that most of these things may be changed by the
affect Wives who are capable of nothing less than the duty of a wife for as Looking-Glasses embellished with Gold and Pearls are unuseful to us unless they pourtray a like representation so furthermore I think the Riches of the wife unprofitable unless the Pattern of her Husbands Discipline shall appear easie to her even in penury it self Alexander is applauded because he took to wife Barsines as some say of whom he begat Hercules the modest Daughter of Artabazus sprung of a Royal Family learned in Greek Letters although poor greatly contemning the Nuptials of Darius's Daughter with an infinite mass of Gold There were many both Princes and private Persons who were and are accounted great as well in other things as in the despising of Wives Portions with whose Praises as with Stars History is resplendent But no satiety of Possessions or Tenements or precious Houshold Stuff can satisfie those above mentioned Persons and in the midst of much riches they are poor they covet richer not worthier Matches And as persons unskilful of Horsemanship highly value Horses with splendid Reins and persons unskill'd in Military Affairs Golden Helmets and illiterate men depraved Books with most adorned Bosses so many wish for Wives with full Purses My most learned and pleasant Guarinus was wont rightly to compare them to stately Sepulchres For in them whereas their appearance is most splendid joined with various Ornaments within there is nothing comely but great filthiness turpitude and corruption and many things which are the products of death Aesop that most ancient Phrygian Writer in whose Fable a singular gravity is joined to an equal courtesie in a manner ingeniously professeth to advise us herein who relates that a Fox entring into the Shop of a certain Musician found a Harp the top whereof was the Head of a man fashioned wonderfully with ingeny Art industry Jewels and Gold which when he had leisurely admired he said This is a rich Hâ—ad but it has no brains We may say the same of the richest women unless they be sufficiently fit to perform the duty of a Wife That rash Paris enjoyed the rich Hellen The most prudent Vlysses espoused the chast Penelope than whom none of her time was more chaste none more modest Antiquity admired loved and most highly extolled this marriage on the contrary it has stigmatized the other to the memory of posterity with most grievous ignominies even as that which was the Firebrand Desolation Plague and destruction of Asia It is evident that it happened because he sought helps and assistances of his unlawful passion Wherefore Lycurgus prudently ordained that Wives should be espoused without portions that the Spartan women might not remain unmarried for their Poverty nor be married for their Riches for so he foresaw that the Spartanes would seek virtue not riches in Wives and that the women would be far more diligent in the acquisition of virtues which that it might more easily be effected those former half-Gods placed as in a certain watch Tower that they might afar off provide for posterity decreed not as in this age that women should bring a portion to their Husbands but they dowries to their Wives lest their husbands should covet their wealth but that they might consider more diligently to whom they were to communicate themselves their children and all their concerns this above named Law unless Custom hath changed our minds and pleasures have by degrees rendered us effeminate is to be renew'd and not to remain any longer repealed for if we rent Lands and hire Servants that we may mutually profit them who are advantageous to us why shall we not judge that we should do the same with wives from whom we expect so necessary so sweet fruits But unless we be first freed from pleasures those alluring inducements and precious ornaments Garments fit for luxurious persons and other unnecessary things necessity it self and that covetousness which is restrained within no bounds be removed we shall never deliberate seriously and freely of a Wife which since it is most evident I will insist no longer upon in this place therefore our youth should recollect themselves and consider more cautiously than covetously even by your example of their Marriages lest for the hope of lucre or the sake of obtaining gain making themselves the slaves of a portion they kindle a domestick Flame which they cannot easily extinguish Therefore in my judgment if they would do what may conduce to the benefit of them and theirs let them chuse Wives endued with Virtue Age Beauty and Riches of which things if any thing be disputable we will ere long declare which should be prefer'd but first which seems the best and also necessary we will a little confute some things CHAP. VII Concerning the importance of time and of other things to change our purposes PErchance some will say what do you do Who having undertaken to give precepts concerning the chocie of a Wife so omit mean and poor men that you instruct onely fortunate persons To this I may easily answer that I earnestly wish that these our short commentaries may be common and useful to all but if any either by the misfortune of their extraction or penury are not in a capacity to make use of our advice let them blame their fortune not our precepts let us therefore return to our purpose I seem to see some who although they may concur with me that all those requisites whereof I have disputed should be chiefly regarded yet they may object that those things are rather to be wished than hoped for wherefore they will more earnestly require me to introduce this comparison neither can they expect that all should be Laurentius's most excellent in the endowments of Mind Body and Fortune to whom Wives of all ranks and of all degrees are offered but I conceive that I have sufficiently answered these persons by those things which are before said when I above discoursed what I most esteemed of other things we shall treat hereafter yet oftentimes there happen many causes either of time or necessity or occasion for which as learned men say we may consent to change our precepts For we ought to consult with time as Pericles adviseth Colmides that most prudent councellor for as the Woers of Penelope despairing of her embraces freely and voluntarily enjoyed her Maids so if we cannot obtain them who in every respect are most excellent let us acquiesce with those who are suitable to our dignities Neither should we imitate children who make sport for the spectators by putting on their Parents Shoes So they will seem ridiculous who being mean and abject industriously seek for wives in whom every proportion of an absolute and perfect renown is observed Therefore I admonish them that they be not like to Aesop's Camels with the great derision of all men for when in a Council of Beasts they desired the Horns of a Hart their Ears were almost plucked off that those who remain'd content within
constancy of her vertue and love wonderfully loved and delighted in her Husband Abradatus Prince of Susa and being a Captive preserved her Faith to him and made Cyrus his Friend and did not riotously wasted but employed all her riches all her treasures in adorning him he fighting most valiantly against the Egyptians the Associates of Croesus both that he might be grateful to Cyrus and might seem a Husband worthy of Panthia his Wife he generously dyed having performed the duty of a valiant Commander and stout Souldier whose Obsequies that she might most nobly celebrate she slew her self upon his dead body sought with singular diligence Cassandane so loved Cyrus that when she dyed it was more grievous to her to depart from Cyrus than from her life wherefore Cyrus lest he should be an ungrateful Husband lamented her a long time after her death and for her honours sake commanded all those whom he governed to mourn Themistocles his Wife loved him so well that she was believed to think of nothing but the affection and love of her Husband whereby it came to pass that that most famous Governour of Grecia might yield to her in all things and it may be truly said that she could do more than the other Grecians of her time for whatsoever she desired the same Themistocles did desire whatsoever Themistocles that the Athenians wished whatsoever the Athenians that all Grecia desired Thesta the Sister of Dionysius the elder was married to Polyxenus he afterwards being offended by the Tyrant fled for fear out of Sicily Dionysius calls for his Sister and blames her because she knowing of her Husbands flight did not acquaint him therewith Thesta relying upon her constancy and singular vertue answered O Dionysius do you think me such a vile and base Woman that if I had known of my Husbands flight I would have refused to have been a Companion and partaker of his Fortune it would truly have been more acceptable to me to be called Polyxenus his Wife though banished than the Sister of Dionysius the Tyrant The Syracusians admiring her noble mind after the Tyrants were expelled dignified her with Royal Honours and when she was dead all ranks all sorts of people and finally all the Syracusians were present at her Funeral Solemnities Armenia the Wife of Tigranes is a noble Example to Women for truly in that Expedition which Cyrus made against the Assyrians being by no means able to endure the absence of her Husband she followed him with a most willing mind every where as an unwearied Companion through so great perils Andromache in Homer how much she is delighted with her Hector upon whom she placed all her love she even declares by this expression You are my only Father reverend Mother and sweet Brother and Husband in all respects amiable At length being distracted by reason of his death she wildly runs through the multitude and views the Walls Cania an excellent Woman hath obtained a commemoration of her Virtue in this place for although the narration thereof will be long yet the dignity novelty and variety will be pleasant both to you and to those who shall peruse these things whose remarkable Enterprize we will begin to relate more copiously Sinatus and Sinorix united in Kindred to each other undoubtedly excelled the other Tetrarchs of France in puissance renown and glory of whom Sinatus espoused Cania who not only excelled in beauty of Body but also in singular Virtue she being indued with chastity goodness prudence and magnanimity obliged the hearts of all Persons to her self with a certain admirable love The Priesthood of Diana whom the French especially worship rendred her more famous in which both for the sake of her own and her Ancestors dignity she had the chief Authority for at the Sacrifices being always exceedingly adorned she attracted the Eyes of all upon her self First Sinorix began to love her fervently afterwards he intends the death of his Kinsman because he feared that whilst the other was safe his desires could not be effected therefore that wicked Man blinded with the great love of his Mistriss privately slayeth the negligent Sinatus Not long after he earnestly desires to Marry Cania who couragiously sustaining the misfortune of her Husband vehemently endeavoured and prudently expected an occasion and opportunity to revenge the wicked Fact of Sinorix Sinorix urgeth that the Marriage indeed deadly may be accomplished he alledgeth honest causes of his mistake if we may think that honest which is contaminated with the greatest wickedness at the first Cania rejects his entreaties afterwards her Relations that they might for ever oblige that most potent Prince to themselves earnestly urge her to be content to Marry him then as if perswaded she promiseth that she would and henceforth she entertains familiarly the young Man that was brought to her and they entred together the Temple of Diana that that French Goddess being witness their Covenant and Promise might be established afterwards deliberately taking a Cup in her Hands she first drinks the remainder she gave to Sinorix to drink but there was in the Cup Metheglin mixed with Poison which when she perceived Sinorix had drunk she manifested her joy by her Eyes Countenace and Fore-head and turning to the Image of Diana she spoke after this manner O Divine Parent I call you to witness that I would not have survived Sinatus in good truth for the love of life which being retained indeed afflicted me with sorrows but being laid down may deliver me from troubles but that I determined to live to atchieve the transactions of this day nor that I should have perceived any pleasure in my life after the Funeral of my Husband which was mournful to me and lamentable to his Country unless a certain hope of revenge had now and then comforted me which being now effected I now willingly descend to my dearest and best Husband Sinatus O most cruel Sinorix instead of Marriage Beds and Nuptials Sepulchres may be prepared for you a little while after when as now the Poison had largely spread it self through their Bodies Sinorix first then Cania died Stratonica so loved her Husband Dejotarus that she thought that nothing appertained to her but how she should fulfill his will and therefore she greatly grieved or rather lamented to see Dejotarus afflicted because he perceived that he neither had issue by her nor that she could succeed him in the Kingdom she therefore of her own accord provides a woman comely in countenance and manners called Electra and perswades desires and urges her Husband who admired the affection and constancy of his Wife to a privacy with her Afterwards she took care of educated and most honourably governed the Children begotten of her even as her own I should be too tedious if I should repeat the earnest affection of Tertia Emilia to P. Cornelius Scipio or if I should remember the exceeding great love of Julia Porcia Artemisia Hipsicratea and the other Examples of lawful love which
beareth with Children Wherefore that wise Cato the Elder that he might not be deficient in the duty of a Father to his Children he diligently taught them as well many other things as Literature Also the barbarous Eurydice seems worthy of great praise she being now ancient applied her self to Learning that Monument of Virtue and Discipline that she might not only be the Author of Life to her Children but that by her example she might leave to them many condiments of Liberal Sciences Mothers should often premonish their Children to restrain themselves from excessive Laughter and temerarious Speeches for that denotes Folly this Fury Moreover they should take heed that they do not ordinarily discourse of those things which are odious to act therefore they should restrain them from filthy and reproachful Speeches and if they shall speak any thing too licentiously and obscenely they should not receive it with mirth or a kiss but with a whip Furthermore they should instruct them not to upbraid any persons with their Poverty or ignominy of their Ancestors or other Calamities whereby they will both procure to themselves grievous enmities and imbibe a custom of arrogating They should teach them Sports in which they may so voluntarily undertake Labours that if occasion shall require they may more easily sustain those which are more grievous I would have Mothers to avoid in the presence of their Children anger avarice and concupiscence whereby vertue languisheth that from their infancy they may contemn shun and hate these most filthy seducers and that they may be greatly careful to reverence sacred Names and be afraid to revile them for whom being grown up will they not deride who at that age contemn the Divine Nature It is of so great importance to accustom them in their Childhood that they must especially admonish them to abstain from swearing Neither truly do they deserve belief who commonly swear even for the sake of the most vile matter and they who ordinarily swear oftentimes unwarily forswear themselves Mothers should accustome their Children to speak the truth this was most noble among the Persians and therefore they ordained that there should be no Markets of Merchandise among them for they believed it to be a place of lying and forswearing Mothers should teach them to speak little unless desired as well in other places as at Banquets lest which should be most estranged from that Age they should become impudent and talkative for it will be a hindrance to their knowledge if they pretend wisely to declare what they do not sufficiently comprehend therefore that was a witty saying of Cato who being then a young Man when he was blamed for his silence said It will not be at all troublesome to me untill I know those things which are unfit to be concealed If they shall learn many things of this kind from their Mothers as soon as their age will permit they may more happily and more easily acquire the gravity and discipline of their Parents There are many other things which because they are rather proper to Fathers I for the present omit and therefore the rather because I seem to see some who will term this our Precept of Wedlock immense and infinite which the Fathers of our Age can scarce sufficiently treat of there is nothing which I can more truly answer to these Persons than this truly I never intended to discuss what might be done but to declare what ought to be done Who is so unjust a Judge that if upon just causes even as you he shall approve Marriages and shall in the choice of a Wife receive a Woman excellent in Manners Age Extraction Beauty and Riches who is loving to her Husband who is modest and who is very skilfull in the management of domestick affairs who I say is so mistaken in affairs that he can hope for all these great things and can imagine that such Wives ought not to perform all greater matters Therefore O my Laurentius your equals should follow your Example with great diligence who have taken to Wife Zinebia a Virgin flourishing with Virtue Beauty a Noble Family and abundant Riches and in the imitation of you they ought to be animated For what more illustrious what more worthy Example can I propose than yours since you who are most worthy of your Father Grandfather and your most renowned Ancestors have chosen such a Wife in that most famous City of Italy Florence whose Riches indeed all Persons but whose continence faithfulness and prudence all good Men so highly esteem and admire that they think her blessed and happy in you alone and you fortunate and truly happy in such a Wife who because ye have obtained the most excellent and adorned conjugal qualifications they beseech the immortal God that ye may have the best Children and the most honourable Citizens of the Commonwealth These things perchance might seem inconsiderable because they are treated of by me if they were not in a manner recognized in your Nuptials so truly young persons following your example will profit more than if they only acquiesce in my writings for even as Laws are greatly advantageous to a City when it is known that an excellent Prince obeys them so since your Example also is consentaneous to our Precepts we hope that it will be imitated by young persons But O Laurentius as my discourse began so it shall be terminated in you You have now my opinion concerning Wedlock instead of a Present in which I hope whatsoever is said by me not to admonish you as I said at the first but to declare my affection to you will be kindly accepted by many but I certainly know that it will be favourably you in whose name I undertook this Tract If any thing perchance in these our little Commentaries shall occur to you in the reading which is wisely and learnedly written attribute it to that excellent person in all kind of praise Zacharias Trivisanus for I willingly commemorate him and to the Grecian Science out of which I have collected some things which pertains to this matter and have purposely inserted them here Having been scarce conversant a few Months in these things I seem to have gathered great and pleasant advantages Very great is the ingeny and diligence of that excellent and most learned Guarinus of Verona who being my Schoolmaster and loving Friend I am familiar with who was my conduct together with many of our most worthy persons both in the undertaking and beginning the study of the Liberal Sciences and he was such a Guide that by his assistance these noble studies to which I have applyed my self from my infancy are become much more profitable and pleasant to me Therefore you will willingly accept this as I may so call it the Wives Necklace from me in these your Marriages which I know that you will either therefore greatly esteem because it is of that sort that it cannot as other Necklaces may be broken and worn out by use
of the Roman Empire extorted a Decree from the Senate whereby it was enacted that the marriages of Uncles and Neeces were lawful that he might maintain his unruly and unbridled Luxury by publick Authority Yet there were none of any rank did pollute themselves with this incest except one Callidius Severus a Roman Knight whom yet very many most noble Authors did assert was allur'd thereunto for the sake of Agrippina Therefore as you O Laurentius have already excellently done let us chuse noble wives that our Society may be more pleasant and having Children more noble by Nature and Education that we may fortifie them who are pursuing glory abundantly with honour and power by our Domestick Examples For eminent Persons will vigilantly remember always consider and be mindful of their Parents and to restore carefully and entirely their dignity as an Inheritance which they have received not from their Father only but also from their Mother to their Children CHAP. V. Concerning the Beauty of a Wife to be chosen NOW here we shall enter upon that part with which others are wont to begin who omitted the former we shall now treat concerning Beauty which as many think consists in the Composure of the Body and chiefly in the amiableness of the Hair Eyes Face Neck and Hands I think women of a low stature although the Composure of the Body be proportionable are rather adapted to unlawful venerial pleasures than the function of a wife for they seem rather accommodated to those delights than the dignity of propagating Issue Wherefore at Lacedemon the Ephori fin'd Archidamus their King in a great sum of money because he married a wife of a small stature thinking that his surviving Issue would be Children not Kings And lest my discourse should be more prolix in its other parts the Hair is so comely in a woman that it incited Homer often to term Hellen her self beautiful from this one Ornament of her Hair And doth not our Virgil when he describes a wise Person and would in few words stile him beautiful add this part of decency saying his Face and Shoulders were like unto the Gods for the Goddess favour'd her Son with a comely Head of Hair and bestow'd a bright Eye upon his youth and honours delightful to it Believe me O Laurentius if Mars had beheld Venus shaven that ardour wherewith that most warlike God was possessed had forthwith vanished so that he had never been ensnared by the arts of Vulcan A certain Citizen of thine whom for the sake of his honour I name not ascribes either the only or the greatest excellency of a wife to this beauty whereof I now discourse But as I will not deprive this matter of its praise so I cannot concede the greatest to it whose power truly is such that it hath and may overcome the Victours of all Nations Jupiter himself who by the Suffrages of the Poets is termed the Father of Gods and Men hath often appeared in the likeness of a Shower a Swan and manifold appearances that he might enjoy that beauty by which he was captivated but I shall say nothing of the others whom the Multitude have made Gods over whom as Anacreon saith Cupid triumpheth Antiquity testifieth to us that very many are believed to be immortal for the only excellency of their beauty Moreover Paris himself contemned the Empire of Asia and the victory in wars that he might obtain Hellen whom he esteemed most beautiful when he beheld the Goddess Juno Minerva and Venus most earnestly contending concerning the lustre of beauty and which were most excellent in his judgment Also it is a great most amiable thing that this beauty seems a certain Divine things and most worthy of great honours VVho is so void of humanity that Beauty it self may not delight him Almost all Men love beautiful Persons esteem them worthy to govern and most willingly obey them therefore most aptly that most prudent Poet Virgil saith Virtue seated in a fair Body is more acceptable and advantagious For although Virtue be not more estimable yet I know not how it is more pleasing The Multitude rather reveres than loves valiant wise and just Persons if they be deformed whence wittily Plato was wont to advise Xenocrates who was remarkably deformed in Body that he should often do good things spontaneously for his Wisdome being joined to his deformed Body was unpleasant to very many and of it self very dear to few But wherefore should I rehearse so many of these things that we may rather chuse to live with handsome Wives for whom many would die Neither do I rehearse this for the sake of pleasure which is repell'd by a great and sober mind as a Wave by a Stone but I think it meet to be referr'd to the Propagation of Issue and the pleasant Society of each others life Juno hath wisely asserted it in Virgil when she thus endeavoured to perswade Aeolus even with the hope of a reward I have fourteen handsome Nymphs whereof I will Marry you to Deiope the fairest and she shall be yours that she may all her days live with you in recompense of such merits and make you a Father of a fair Offspring In which place it may easily be observed unless the Tale be told to a deaf Man wherefore we ought greatly to esteem handsome Wives But I perceive that in the earnestness of speaking I have farther expatiated than the Matter it self did require wherefore I shall desist and now approach nearer to our purpose Although above I have written many things concerning Beauty yet I would so be understood that I highly value it if it be accompanied with good manners and other excellencies but separated from these I do by no means approve it for as Fire that is easily kindled of Straw will suddenly be extinguished unless more durable Fuel be added thereto so the love between Husband and Wife proceeding from the Beauty of the Body will suddenly vanish unless the renown of Ingeny composure of manners and holiness of life correspond thereto When it was reported to Olympias that one of the Royal Family had Married a Wife who it was said seemed most fair but was of ill report she said This young Man if he had oftner consulted with those prudent Persons his Ancestors than with himself he would not have Married a Wife solely by the guidance of his Eyes for this Ornament of Beauty deserves no praise nor no remembrance unless a firm and express appearance of Virtue be annexed to it which Homer that most great Philosopher and Poet plainly evidenceth who once reported that Nireus the fairest of all the Greeks Achilles only excepted came together with others to Aulis after which he is in no place remembred for truly he brought no valour to Troy the proper reward of which is glory whereby Homer determined for ever to adorn those Half-Gods Neither can Beauty only cause love to Wives but also to unchaste Women concerning which I remember