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A84357 Tears of repentance: or, A further narrative of the progress of the Gospel amongst the Indians in New-England: setting forth, not only their present state and condition, but sundry confessions of sin by diverse of the said Indians, wrought upon by the saving power of the Gospel; together with the manifestation of their faith and hope in Jesus Christ, and the work of grace upon their hearts. Related by Mr. Eliot and Mr. Mayhew, two faithful laborers in that work of the Lord. Published by the corporation for propagating the Gospel there, for the satisfaction and comfort of such as wish well thereunto. Eliot, John, 1604-1690.; Mayhew, Thomas.; Mather, Richard, 1596-1669. 1653 (1653) Wing E524; Thomason E697_16; ESTC R207106 52,811 83

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thought I am a poor sinner and poor is my heart then I prayed to God to teach me to do that which he requireth and to pray aright Afterward hearing that word Who ever looks upon a Woman to lust after her hath already committed Adultry with her in his heart then I thought I had done all manner of sins in the sight of God because he seeth lust in the heart and knoweth all the evil thoughts of my heart and then I did pray unto God Oh! give me Repentance and Pardon Afterwards when I did teach among the Indians I was much humbled because I could not reade right and that I sinned in it for I saw that when I thought to do a good work I sinned in doing it for I knew not what was right nor how to do it In the night I was considering of my sins and could not find what to do three nights I considered what to do and at last God shewed me mercy and shewed me what I should do And then I desired to learn to read Gods Word and hearing that if we ask wisdom of God he will give it then I did much pray to God that he would teach me to reade After a years time I thought I did not rightly seek and I thought I sinned because I did not rightly desire to read Gods Word and I thought my praying was sinful and I feared how should I my wife and child be cloathed if I spend my time in learning to reade but then God was merciful to me and shewed me that Word Say not what shall I eat or drink or wherewith shall I be cloathed wicked men seek after these but first seek the Kingdom of Heaven and these things shall be added to you then I pr●yed God to teach me this word and that I might do it and then I desired to read Gods word what ever I wanted Afterward hearing that we must make a Town and gather a Church at Natick my heart disliked that place but hearing that word That Christ met two Fishers and said follow me and I will make you fishers of men and they presently left all and followed him hearing this I was much troubled because I had not beleeved Christ for I would not follow him to make a Church nor had I done what he commanded me and then I was troubled for all my sins Again hearing that word That the blind man called after Christ saying thou Son of David have mercy on me Christ asked him what he would have him do he said Lord open my eyes and presently Christ gave him sight and he followed Christ then again my heart was troubled for I thought I still beleeve not because I do not follow Christ nor hath he yet opened mine eyes then I prayed to Christ to open mine eyes that I might see what to do because I am blind and cannot see how to follow Christ and do what he commandeth and I prayed to Christ Teach me Lord what to do and to do what thou sayest and I prayed that I might follow Christ and then I thought I will follow Christ to make a Church All this trouble I had to be brought to be willing to make a Church and quickly after God laid upon me more trouble by sickness and death and then I much prayed to God for life for we were all sick and then God would not hear me to give us life but first one of my Children died and after that my Wife then I was in great sorrow because I thought God would no hear me and I thought it was because I would not follow him therefore he hears not me then I found this sin in my heart That I was angry at the punishment of God but afterward I considered I was a poor sinner I have nothing nor Child nor Wife I deserve that God should take away all mercies from me and then I repented of my sins and did much pray and I remembred the promise to follow Christ and my heart said I had in this sinned that followed not Christ and therefore I cryed for pardon of this sin and then hearing of this Word Who ever beleeveth in Christ his sins are pardoned he beleeving that Christ died for us and I beleeved Again hearing that Word If ye be not converted and become as a little Child you cannot go to Heaven then my heart thought I do not this but I deserve Hell fire for ever and then I prayed Christ Oh! turn me from my sin and teach me to hear thy Word and I prayed to my Father in Heaven and after this I beleeved in Christ for pardon Afterward I heard that Word That it is a shame for a man to wear long hair and that there was no such custom in the Churches at first I thought I loved not long hair but I did and found it very hard to cut it off and then I prayed God to pardon that sin also Afterward I thought my heart cared not for the Word of God but then I thought I would give my self up unto the Lord to do all his Word Afterward I heard that word If thy right foot offend thee cut it off or thy right hand or thy right eye its better to go to Heaven with one foot or hand or eye than having both to go to Hell then I thought my hair had been a stumbling to me therefore I cut it off and grieved for this fin and prayed for pardon After hearing that word Come unto me all ye that are weary and heavie laden with your sins and I will give rest to your souls then my heart thought that I do dayly hate my sins Oh! that I could go to Christ and Christ looketh I should come unto him therfore I will go unto him and therfore then I prayed Oh! Christ help me to come unto thee and I prayed because of all my sins that they may be pardoned For the first man was made like God in holiness and righteousness and God gave him his Covenant but Adam sinned beleeving the Devil therefore God was angry and therefore all we Children of Adam are like the Devil and dayly sin and break every Law of God full of evil thoughts words and works and only Christ can deliver us from our sins and he that beleeveth in Christ is pardoned but my heart of my self cannot beleeve Satan hath power in me but I cry to God Oh! give me faith and pardon my sin because Christ alone can deliver me from Hell therefore I pray Oh! Jesus Christ deliver me Christ hath provided the new Covenant to save Beleevers in Christ therefore I desire to give my soul to Christ for pardon of all my sins the first Covenant is broke by sin and we deserve Hell but Christ keepeth for us the new Covenant and therfore I betrust my soul with Christ Again I desire to beleeve in Christ because Christ will come to judgment and all shall rise again and all Beleevers in this life shall then be saved
on unto it with many fears and questions what they should do when they should be a Church When therefore I saw the Lord by the Counsel of his Servants which is an holy reverend Ordinance of Christ and by his Providence denying me the help of all Interpreters having many witnesses how much care and pains I took every way I knew to be supplied therein and that the work it self was extended by the Lords gracious inlarging them in their Confessions so that the day was not sufficient to accomplish it I say when I saw the Lord speaking that delatory word I cannot express what a load it took off my heart and I did gladly follow the Lord therein yea and I bless the Lord for that day that it was carried so far as it was for the cause of Christ hath many waies gained by it many hundreds of the precious Saints being much comforted and confirmed in their hopes of this work of Christ among them and their faith and prayers much quickned by what they heard and saw And because all witnesses failed me let me say but this I began and have followed this work for the Lord according to the poor measure of grace received not for base ends I have been true faithful unto their souls and in writing and reading their Confessions I have not knowingly or willingly made them better than the Lord helped themselves to make them but am verily perswaded on good grounds that I have rather rendered them weaker for the most part than they delivered them partly by missing some words of weight in some Sentences partly by my short and curt touches of what they more fully spake and partly by reason of the different Idioms of their Language and ours Now follow those Preparitory Confessions which were read before the Elders most of them The first that made a publick Confession and was took in Writing was Peter a Ruler of Ten among them a Godly man who quickly after he had made this Confession fell sick and died and now injoyeth the fruit of his Faith the end of his Hope the salvaion of his Soul among the Blessed where I am perswaded he shall be found in the great day His Confession was as followeth VVHen I first prayed to God I did not fear God but I feared perdition because the English had told me that all should be damned that call not upon God But now I know that God made all the world and I fear him now I beleeve that which you teach is true Now I beleeve that God calleth us to Natik that here we may be ruled by God and gather a Church now I beleeve that it is Gods Command that we should labor Six dayes and keep the Sabbath on the Seventh day now my heart is greatly abased for all my sins for we see though we pray to God we are ready to offend each other and be angry with each other and that we love not each other as we should do and for this I grieve my heart crieth now I remember that God saith thou shalt not lust but before I prayed to God I was full of lusts God saith We must have but one Wife and at first did make but one man and one woman but I followed many women God saith Remember to keep the Sabbath day holy but I did hunt or shoot or any thing on the Sabbath day many other sins I committed but now I see them and wil cast them away because they are vile and God forbiddeth them when I prayed first my sins were not pardoned for my praying is worth nothing now I am humbled and mourn for my sins and yet cannot deliver my self nor get pardon therfore I trust Christ with my soul The next Confession was made by John Speene as followeth His first confession was this WHen I first prayed to God I did not pray for my soul but only I did as my friends did because I loved them and though I prayed to God yet I did not fear sin nor was I troubled at it I heard that when good men die their souls go to God and are there happy but I cannot say that I beleeved it Afterward my heart run away into the country after our old wayes and I did almost cast off praying to God A little while after that I saw that I had greatly sinned and then I saw all my sins afore I prayed to God and since I prayed to God and I saw that God was greatly angry for them and that I cannot get pardon for them but yet my heart saith I will pray to God as long as I live I thought God would not pardon me and yet I would cast away my sins I did greatly love hunting and hated labor but now I beleeve that word of God which saith Six dayes thou shalt labor and God doth make my body strong to labor John Speene This Confession being short in some main points he afterward made Confession as followeth WHen I first prayed I prayed not for my soul but for the sake of men I loved men and for their sakes I prayed to God Before I prayed many were my sins and my heart was heaped full and ran over in all manner of lusts and sins After I heard of praying to God I let it fall and regarded it not after I came to hear the word I sometimes feared but soon lost it again Then my heart ran away after our former courses and then what ever I heard I lost because my heart was run away and many were my sins and therfore I could not get pardon because my heart run away and many were my sins and I did indeed go into the Country But afterwards I hearing the Catechism I desired to learn it and then I beleeved that when Beleevers die their souls go to God and are ever happy when Sinners die their souls go to Hel and are ever tormented and that when Christ judges the world our bodies rise again and then we shall receive the judgment of Christ the good shal stand at his right hand the bad at his left this I beleeved was true and then I saw all my great follies and evils and now my heart desired to lay by hunting and to work every day and this is Gods Command and therfore a good way God said Thou shalt work six daies and if thou work thou shalt eat therfore I beleeve it and my heart promiseth that I will this do as long as I live Now I see I did great folly for now I hear that God saith Work and now I fear because God hath afflicted me in taking away my brother a Ruler now I am troubled I fear I sinned in not beleeving our Ruler because now God hath taken him away he taught me good words but I beleeved them not and now I repent because Christ calleth me to it great is the punishment of God in taking away our Ruler and now I pray and say to Christ Oh Jesus Christ Christ