be a beast on the land to learne a note of their nature and yet there comes much good by them Ar. As how I pray thee Tid Why when a Whale is wounded he will runne to the shore and then the fishermen make much mony of his oyle when a Marlin killeth a Partridge the faulconer fares the better and when the dog pulls downe the Beare it makes sport for the master of the game Ar. Thou saist true but let them alone with their sports tell me what els sawest thou at the sea Tid I saw how woodden horses went with the wind which carried men and Merchandize ouer the water from one land to another but sometimes with a sodaine tempest man horse ouerthrown vpon a Rock and the goods all flote or drownd somtime man horse and ware through a leake sink all into the sea somtime swallowed in a sand and sometime vpon a sodaine one fall vpon another and by fire and sword one or both fall to destruction these horses were called Shippes Pinnaces Hoyes and such like and let me tell you as Dauid the Prophet said he that passeth the deepe seeth the wonders of the Lord for if I should tell thee what dangers I haue escaped both by sea and land thou woldest say I were bound to praise God Ar. Thou saist well I haue heard so much of the daungers of the sea that I care not if I keepe one foot of Land but I pray thee tell me a little further of thy trauaile Tid I will tell you at sea I saw none of those toyes that I haue heard fooles talke of as Mermaides and Sirenes for they are in deede but fictions but I saw in a cleer day a great depth vnder one ship vpon a calm in a still water the tops of steeples and old stone walles which the Sea had swallowed by som great breache ouer the banks of that country and as I heard afterward in my trauaile in the drowning of those townes there perished a worlde of people and no small masse of wealth Arnofilo A pittifull Spectacle and yet we see when wealth breedeth pride GOD will send vs a sore plague but I pray thee proceede and tell me of thy further Trauaile Tid I will when I first arriued on shore with some other of the Shippe wherein I made my passage I beheld the Soile which was as this is replenished with grasse herbs flowers and trees and so forth and for the Fowles they did fly the Beastes did feede and men and woemen did walke and talke as we doe onely they did vary in their attire and in theyr language from vs the poore did for the most part drinke water and the ritch wine the poore fedde most vpon herbes rootes course bread and little flesh the riche vpon such Cates as the country will yeelde their cities were faire to the eie but slight for the substance their wealth great but in few mens hands their lawes stricte and well obserued the Men neither Pigmeies nor monsters their women some fair some foule but one thing I noted chiefly in the country that in euery house the inhabitants had a priuate law in their owne houses and one neighbour with an other besides the common lavves of the country Arnofilo For those in that they may bee tedious to thee to recite I will deferre them till another time but I pray thee tell mee something of the priuate lawes among them Tid Betvvixt neighbours it vvas one Lavv that euery man shoulde pay his ovvne house rent and not to trust vnto his neighbour Another Law that euery man should prouide for his owne houshold all things necessary and not to borrow of his neighbour another Lawe that no man should owe his neihbour any thing but compliments an other was that no man should be bould with his neighbours wife further then she wold let him howsoeuer the common Law woulde direct him No man should slander his neighbours wife for feare of hurting him and doing her no good No man should tell tales though true betwixt partie and partie that might mooue strife for breaking of peace No man should denie a kindnesse promised vnto his neighbour or his wife least he should grow angry and shee take thought No man mighte make hornes at his neighbour though hee knewe him to bee a cuckolde for feare of breeding of bate betwixte a Man and his wife these with many other priuate Lawes were verie straightly and carefully obserued betwixt neighbour and neighbour besides there is one other that I had forgotten and that is this that no man might father his neighbours childe how soeuer hee had talked with the mother of it for feare to breede the Fathers vnkindenesse and the Mothers vndooing Ar. Prety Lawes and well noted I see there was some good fellowshippe among them and that they had a care of their businesse it was well for without these lawes knaues and fools might haue done much hurt what was the punishment to bee layde vppon the offendors in any of these items or priuate Lawes Tid No open matter of shame but among themselues he that did offend according to the nature of his offence was censured if he wanted wealth held a poor man if he wanted wit a foole if honesty a knaue if kindnesse a dog and so though suffered to bee a dweller yet not esteemed as a neighbour Ar Truely good so it should be as the world goes neighbours should be kind one to another or els there were no neighbourhood but tell me I pray thee a little of the priuate lawes in eache house Tid If a man were maried to a scold let her work for her liuing and pray for patience If a woman were maried to a foole let him walke to wind yarne or pick nuts If a man had a whore to his wife to think of his own case and so to conceale his sorrowe or to bee rid of his mischiefe If a woman be maried to an Eunuche to do somthing to saue his shame from knowledge No man must goe to market without money nor to dinner without meate No man must go to bed till he be sleepy nor rise till he be awake No man must looke for money till he haue earned it nor pay money till he haue it Many other such lawes or Items there are agreed vpon among them which were but tedious to recite som of which I haue forgotten but these I can well remember Ar. Prety noted I thanke thee for them with all my hart but what punishment is there appointed for the offenders in any of these agreements Tid I will tel you he that will liue with a scoulde must be laught at for his labour Shee that is wife to a fool liues in suspition of God forbid Hee that will liue with a whore must wear a greate cap Shee that is married to an Eunuch muste goe to phisick for the greene sicknes He that goes to market without mony must come home without meate Hee that dines
without meate must feed vpon fasting He that goes to bed til he be sleepy must lie tumble till he be weary and he that riseth ere he be wake must bee held for a mad man Hee that lookes for mony he knowes not why must haue it he knowes not when and hee that will paie it ere hee haue it muste bee wondered at of all the worlde Ar. Gramercy good wagge for thy good noates pretty laws and pretty punishments if tt were worse it would not bee so well for Scolds and whores and fooles and cuckolds would be cut of order for pride if they were not taken downe with some trick And to tell a truth it is requisite that a man shold not bee so lazy as to goe to bed ere hee bee sleepy nor so madde as to rise in a dreame so foolish to goe to market without monye or so peeuish as to dine without meat or so childish as for to look for mony without desart and to paie it before hee haue it why it is a thing impossible and therfore the Agreements are good I like them well pittie but they should be kepte But I pray thee tell me a little further of thy trauell in that country or any other Tid I will tell you for the greate men I durst not look too greatly at them for fear their greatnes would haue too greate an eie at my looking onely I sawe they were wel proportioned strong limmed manlike faces wore good cloathes rode on fat horses pinched not theire owne bellies nor were not afraide of a cuppe of wine kept their cuntries in peace and liued in a league of greate loue this was all that I there noted amonge the greate ones and for the name of the Countrie as I heard it was called Terra Straue Ar. I find it not in the mappe by that name but t is no matter on with thy discourse Tid For the meaner sort of people yet not the basest for those are alikeeuery where Roges will begge beggars will not be bashfull fooles wil crie and dogs will barke and therefore let them passe but for the better sort I found them good fellowes of what condition soeuer Male or female Learned or vnlearned there would none be out for his hand in a helth howsoeuer they had fared the Schollar would dispute vpon none but the full pointe and the vnlearned by Experience had a carouse at the highest Ciuill cariage and fair conditioned drink and spende and paie like right lads and not quarrell till the cuppe had made a conquest of al the coÌ„pany theÌ„ ipse hee qui the which leapte ouer the hedge and fel in the ditch A B C non habet P how rousts the henne when the cock is a sleep t is twelue a clock and god giue you good night Ar. But is it possible was ther such good good fellowship much good do their hearts and yet t is pitty ther was not more dauncing and lesse drinke for then their heeles might haue held vp their heads and their waies might haue been fit for a better worke but so long as they went all one waie I like the better of their trauell Tid Oh sir a little nap makes them as fresh as if they had neuer been salted and daunce and sing and if need bee a better thinge tushe they are a gallant people the men were good musitians and there wenches would sing excellently but for that I had no long time to tary there I could not obserue much more then I haue told you and therefore if the time wil giue vs leaue I will tell you what I saw in an other countrie which I next fell vpon Ar. I praie thee doe thou canst not please mee better Tid I will tell you crossing but a little riuer and it was ouer a short narrow stone bridge I fell into a Country that had another name which mighte well be for in many things me thoughte it differed in nature Ar. As how I praie thee tell me Tid First for the soyle it was more full of sand and Dust and not so fair and fat as the neighbour country yet had it no lack of wood nor Corne nor fruite For the country people I meane the meanest sort fed much of garden commodities which with helpe of a little oyle and scarce sweet butter made them dishes of meat fit for their stomackes and their drinke was moste either vpon plaine water of the brooke or vpon Apple water otherwise called Sider which which was in a manner their wine their villages large and their houses strong though nothing stately the people most plaine without welt or guarde or almoste wit or vnderstanding more then to know their owne the way to the Church and the field and the Taphouse if there were any in the Towne the way to the Market and home againe to plough and plant and sowe and reape to thrash and grind to make hard bread and eat it with strong teeth to make Loue illfauouredly and to get children to furnish the parish these were the main points of their conditions for to talke of more then a Codshead would trouble a fisherman the shephearde more then of a sheepshead nor the ploweman further then his tillage nor the Butcher more then his Bullock for if you did goe any further you did but trouble their capacities but for those matters you should hear them talke so sauourly that if you did want witt to consider how soone those small Cunnings woulde bee learned you would haue been buried in a dungheape ere you could get out of the cleane oh how the fisherman would discourse of his angle his line his cork his lead his bait his net his grinne his leape his weere and I know not what his obseruing of time day and night his patience to attend his crafte in drawing his baite along the streame his dressing of his baite to drawe the fish to it his playing with the fish when he hadde him his hoising of him out of the water and then what a messe or meate he could make of him although perhappes it prooued all but a Gudgin but if it were a Codshead his lippes would bee worth the licking and in this was his Element heere was his study and in these matters of little moment woulde hee spen d the whole spirit of his vnderstanding With whome although it were no greate hurte for to loose a little time yet it was some pleasure for to heare him and besides to noate his kinde of pride in his poore trade The Sheepheard he would so talke of his Rammes and his Weathers of his Ewes and his Lambs his hogs and his sheerlings the big hâ—â—ne and the fine wooll the deepe side and the broad Ioines the nature of theyr breed and of their feed their washing their shearing their marking their folding their diseases and their medicines the Flie and the Scabbe and how to trimme them and picke them and dresse them and then with a sigh to
talke of the Rot and what a heauy thing it is among them to be short if you had time to attend the end of his discourse there is no Heraulde in searching out and deliuering of a coate of a very greate Antiquity could weary you more then hee woulde your patience with a tale of the Petigree of some of his choyce Cattell for such a Ramme was of such an Ewe that was bredde in such a grounde of such a Mans that had so many Rammes from such a ground and he that was the Master of such a ground brought som twenty Rammes from such a Country and withall the owner of those Sheepe had them out of such a Shire of the best strayne that was in all that Countrey and they in that Country came I know not from whence but and if I woulde hauè stayed for to haue hearde him out I think that he woulde neuer haue left till he had come to Iacob or Laban or Abell the first Shephearde that euer was to come to the Straine of his Sheepe but I left at a point enough for my learning for I gathered out of all in briefe how soon he that had mony might learne to gaine by sheep though he would not lap himselfe in a sheeps skinne but if you should take him out of his element then he was gone and you did his capacity much hurt for there was the summe of his worlds paradise of which he would speake with such a feeling contentment thâ—â— it were pitty such a spirite should be drawn from his pleasure but to be short by the sum of his speeche I gathered in briefe with mony how to make a good shepheard in a little time on a hard ground breed small sheepe on a fat ground bigger boned put not the Rams to the Ewes too soon for feare the Lamb be to forward looke to them for the Scab and the flie least I loose my sheepe or my sheepe loose her fleece giue them dry layer for fear of the rot and in lamming time to take heed of the Fox the wolfe the Brock and other vermine to wash them in fayre weather not to sheare them till they be dry and take heede of clipping of their skinnes for feare of the flie to put them in good pasture and haue an eie to them for feare of the theese many other such kind of matters belong to the care of such a course but because I rather desired the knowledge then the profession of it I left him to his flock which God blesse to his holy pleasure and so an end Then fell I in with the ploughman who tolde me such a tale of the nature of the earth of the choise of his seede of his first and second tilthe of his manuring plowing sowing harrowing reaping binding carting pitching mowing threshing winowing and fanning and so putting vp into the Garner for store or into the sacks for the mill or the market with haye Ree Who to his horse and hum and hah to me with such a garlicke breath as would haue poisoned a dog I learned enough in a little time to serue me for a great while for though I loue to know any thing yet God blesse my brains for my limmes are not not now fit for labour Age and trauaile hath giuen them too great a weaknesse besides the nature of my spirit that though it hath carried my bodie on the earth yet hath it euer looked aboue the earth for my comforte Ar I thanke thee for that yet with all my hearte and I am not a little glad to heare it that all the worlde cannot make thee to forget heauen for it is no little happinesse to see much knowe much and make good vse of all For cannot a a man be a fisher but he must gape like a cods head nor bee master of a fewe sheepe but hee must liue and die in a sheepes coate or haue a barn full of corne but hee muste bee bounde prentise to his flaile the miller his mare may doe well both to carry sackes but the Maister of them both shoulde not put his wits into a bagge beleeue me it is not a little griefe to think how men beefoole themselues or the deuil bewitches men with folly why is it not a myserie to think howe the breath of one villaine poysons the heartes of an hundred When he that trauailes a good subiect comes home againe a traytor serues god at home and the deuill abroad goes fourthe to gaine honour and comes home to bee hanged are not these pittifull illusions well haâ—py art thou that haste been infected with none of these diseases but tel mee I pray thee what didst thou further note in the courtes and cities of that country and other where thou hast been Tid I will the citties in that country were large well builded for strength more then beauty for they were most of stone and couered with a kinde of slate but many of theyr townes were decaied their castles and chief howses ruinated as it should seeme either by some ciuill warres or some vnciuil Enemy for the gouernors they wer men of further matter for theyr wit theÌ„ their aspects did make promise of and yet they would knit the browes look vnder the Eies stroke downe their beards nod with their heads shake vp poore men whippe Roges Rate Beggars emprison offenders hang vp theeues and in all they could seeke to maintaine peace that was one thing I cheefely noted in their Citties but for their courts I staied so little a while in them that I cannot iustly saie any thing in their commendation and yet in the contrary I would saie as little for feere I shoulde wrong them But in their townes and citties I sawe many things and many prettie lawes and customes among them which in mine opinion were not vnworthy the noting The first law was that no man should marry a faire wench without mony except hee were rich for fear of the horne for want of maintenance Item that no old woman that had wealth and children should marry a young beggar for feare of wasting her childies goods and putting her selfe to her patience No man aged should marry a wench too young for feare of the curse of contrarietyes No man should be a stranget to his owne howse for fear his wife would procue a gossip No woman should be master of her husband for feare of the next neighbors riding No man should bring his horse into a stable but he should pay for his meat ere he came out No man should take more then he had warrant for lest he should answer it at the gallowes No vintner should mingle water with his wine except he vvere allovved it by his Company No Tailor should put more stuffe in a garment then vvas allowed him for his mesure No shoemaker should make his shoos to strong for feare they hold to long No Tradesman should sell his ware too good cheape for feare of hinderance to his
Trade No Iester should bee fauoured of the wise for feare of being more knaue then foole No Constable should be suffered to be drunk for feare the vvatchmen should fall asleepe No Fool should inherit too much land for fear a knaue should to soone alter the property He that could get no children should not mary and she that could not abide a man should bee set to keepe chickens No man might haue two vviues for feare of breeding vnquietnes No woman might haue two husbands for feare she should be in loue vvith neither Many other such idle things there vvere agreed vpon among them vvhich for tediousnes I let passe for being no maters of great moment it is no great matter for their remembrance only thus much I remember that no man should be found drunke in a house but he should be laid in the streete till he were sober Ar. Prety items and good reason for the keeping of them for as I said before lack of care among mad people may be the spoile of a whole market it is not meet that men should be perswaded that the moon is made of a green cheese it is a principle in Philosophy Contraries can not be togither age and youth can not be in one predicament Ianuary and May neuer meet togither but if age long to be in his graue youth wil be a good staffe to lead him to it but I mean the crooked cripples that are not able to looke vp so high as the eie of Venus with a golden showr will think to come in at the window of her chamber and therefore such an absurdum should not passe in the schoole of Cupid though that somtime for breeding an old Stalian may be better then a yong Colte Secondly he that is a stranger to his wife is worthy to find her a straggler and she that is master of her husband must weare the breeches Againe hay is deere prouender is costly and horse meate must be paied for and therefore let trauailers looke to their purses And for theeues when they are hanged honest men thriue the better For Vintners Tailers Shoomakers and all Tradesmen pitty but they should liue by their trades And for a drunken Constable why he may be the spoile of a watch but for fooles and iesters the world is prettly well rid of them and therfore I say no more to them But I pray thee go on with thy trauail and tell me somwhat els that thou hast seen and noted Tid I saw somthing that it grieued me to see and no lesse to remember I saw in a City or borrough towne I know not well whether a pitifull sight An old old and very very very aged old man with a most exceeding illfauoured and ougly face and a much far and a great deale worse body whose legs were worse then wood for they would haue stood vpright which his could not with a pair of eies worse then glasse for they were cleer and his were not and with such a breath as except to the stinke of a rotten toothe I cannot compare it to any ill sauor in the world Now this vntimely misbegotten and accursed borne creature was alas that I should speake it maried for his money to a most fayr sweet yong dainty strait fine damsell that a man might see in a whole city oh fine loue that could be betwixt them Ar. Fy vpon it what an ouersight was that in the whole parish why the maids or the young men or some good body or other might haue forbid the banes or haue taken hir away from him by the way was there neuer an Orlando that wold venter a lim for Issabell Tid Yes that there was for els I feare I should haue spoild the Groome howsoeuer it woulde after haue faln out with the Bride but to tell you what fell out vpon a sodaine as this monster of a Man was comming homewards to his owne house a little from the towne in a little Lane at the turning of a hedge were prepared for the purpose tenn gallant Caualieroes well horsed and weaponed and euery way fully appointed for the purpose put the peasaunte to his palsey and on a spare horse furnished for the purpose took the Bride in all her ritche Iewells and costly attire and farre from that country carried her from whence he coulde neuer fetch her for griefe whereof I meane his rich Chaines of pearls and iewels wherewith hee had adorned his worlds idol he took such a heauines in his hearte as tumbled his head in his graue and shee sweet Lady liued a happy life with a more worthy beloued Ar. More saist thou why lesse worthy could none bee if he were as thou hast described him oh cursed pelf that makes such a Coblatiue couiunction but this is the fault of many fooles that as Iewes doe Moors sel their children for mony but the end of thy tale was better then the beginning which I was glad to heare but tell me hast thou such an other Tid Yes that I haue and much of the same nature In a country market towne neare vnto this citty dwelt a woman of great wealth who being of the yeares of scarce vnderstanding for shee could hardly goe with out Leaning a most hollow eied wrincled faced dropping nosed toothlesse mouthed slauering lipped most ill countenanced worie complexioned and worse conditioned crooked creeping and cripled old woman fel in loue with a most gallant neat handsome tall straight and goodly gentleman who for the only loue of that she had caste himselfe away vpon this old Croane but though he had a little troubled his conscience with a little ceremony the matter far from his hart finding her humour too much enclined to the spanish grape and for want of naturall heat to drincke much of spirits of wine hot waters plied her so with such drinks as droue her into such a heate as put her into such a feuer as carried her quickly to her long home and left him possessor of all her wealth Ar. A good bargaine but ill gotten for such a kindnes was but a kinde of poyson but yet if hee meante not her death it was no great matter for her sicknes Tid Oh no I haue heard him protest not for all the world for had she liued she should haue lacked no cherishing but for lyeing with her hee woulde not haue come in bed with her for hurting her for shee was so tender that shee was ready to fal in peeces Ar. It was done like an honest man to haue some pitty on her that had so much loued him I thanke him for it euery man would not bee so kinde but on I praye you haste thou any more of these Tid Not in this nature but if it may not seeme tedious I could tel you a merry tale how I lost my selfe at a wedding Ar. I praie thee doe Tid It was my hap one daie to hear of a great Bridail or contry wedding in a pretty village neer