Selected quad for the lemma: water_n
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A02647
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The most elegant and witty epigrams of Sir Iohn Harrington, Knight digested into foure bookes: three vvhereof neuer before published.
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Harington, John, Sir, 1560-1612.
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1618
(1618)
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STC 12776; ESTC S103853
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69,106
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187
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of you Quoth they Here is Iohn ap Rice ap Iones ap Hue And Nicholas ap Steuen ap Giles ap Dauy. Then Gentlemen adue quoth he God saue ye Your Worships might haue had a bed or twaine But how can that suffice so great a traine 63 To Master Maior of Bathe that Bathe is like Paradice SIr if you either angry were or sory That I haue lik'ned Bathe to Purgatory Loe to re-gaine your fauour in a trice I 'le proue it much more like to Paradice Man was at first in Paradice created Many men still in Bathe are procreated Man liu'd there in state of Innocence Here many liue in wit like Innocents There sprang the heads of foure most noble streames From hence flow springs not matcht in any Realmeâ— Those springs fruits brought helpe for each disease These vnto many maladies bring ease Man there was monylesse naked and poore Many goe begging here from dore to dore Man there did taste the Tree he was forbidden Here many men taste fruits makes them be chidden Angels dwell there in pure and shining habit Angels like faces some this place inhabit Angels let in all are admitted thither Angels keepe in all are admitted hither Many are said to goe to heauen from thence Many are sent to heauen or hell from hence But in this one thing likenesse most is fram'd That Men in Bathe goe naked not asham'd 64 Of Don Pedro's debts DOn Pedro's out of debt be bold to say it For they are said to owe that meane to pay it 65 Of one that vow'd to dis-inherit his sonne and giue his goods to the poore A Citizen that dwelt neere Temple-barre By hap one day fell with his Sonne at Iarre Whom for his euill life and lewd demerit He oft affirm'd he would quite dis-inherit And vow'd his goods and lands all to the poore His sonne what with his play what with his whore Was so consum'd at last as he did lacke Meate for his mouth and clothing for his backe O craftie pouerty his father now May giue him all he hath yet keepe his vow 66 Of a Precise Cobler and an ignorant Curat A Cobler and a Curat once disputed Afore a Iudge about the Queenes Iniunctions And sith that still the Curat was confuted One said 't was fit that they two changed functions Nay said the Iudge that motion much I lothe But if you will wee 'le make them Coblers both 67 Of Lynus Poetrie WHen Lynus thinkes that he and I are friends Then all his Poems vnto me he sends His Disticks Satyrs Sonnets and Exameters His Epigrams his Lyricks his Pentameters Then I must censure them I must correct them Then onely I must order and direct them I read some three or foure and passe the rest And when for answere I by him am prest I say that all of them some praise deserue For certaine vses I could make them serue But yet his rime is harsh vneu'n his number The manner much the matter both doth cumber His words too strange his meanings are too misticâ— But at one word I best indure his Disticke And yet might I perswade him in mine humor Not to affect vaine praise of common rumor Then should he write of nothing for indeede Gladly of nothing I his verse would reade 68 Of one that seekes to be stellified being no Pithagorian AN vse there was among some Pithagorians If we giue credit to the best Historians How they that would obserue the course of Starres To purge the vapors that our cleere sight tarres And bring the braine vnto a settled quiet Did keepe a wondrous strict and sparing dyet Drinke water from the purest heads of springs Eate Hearbs and Flowers not taste of liuing things And then to this scant fare their bookes applying They call'd this sparing Dyet Stellifying Then thinkest thou professed Epicure That neuer couldest vertuous paines endure That eat'st fat Venson bowzest Claret Wine â—o'st play till twelue and sleepe till after nine And in a Coach like Vulcans sonne dost ride That thou art worthy to be stellified 69 Against Momus LEwd Momus loues mens liues and lines to skan Yet said by chance I was an honest man â—ut yet one fault of mine he strait rehearses Which is I am so full of toyes and verses True Momus true that is my fault I grant â—et when thou shalt thy chiefest vertue vaunt I know some worthy Sprites one might entice To leaue that greatest Vertue for this Vice 70 Of Galla and her Tawny fanne WHen Galla and my selfe doe talke together Her face she shroudes with fanne of tawny Fether And while my thought somewhat thereof deuiseth A double doubt within my minde ariseth As first her skin or fanne which looketh brighter And second whether those her looks be lighter TheÌ„ that same Plume wherwith her looks were hidden But if I cleer'd these doubts I should be chidden 71 To his Wife for striking her Dogge YOur little Dogge that barkt as I came by I strake by hap so hard I made him cry And straight you put your finger in your eye And lowring sate and askt the reason why Loue me and loue my Dogge thou didst reply Loue as both should be lou'd I will said I And seald it with a kisse Then by and by Cleer'd were the clouds of thy faire frowning sky Thus small euents great masteries may try For I by this doe at their meaning ghesse That beate a Whelpe afore a Lyonesse 72 Against a Wittall Broker that set his wife to sale I See thee sell Swords Pistols Clokes and Gowns With Dublets Slops they that pay thee crowns Doe as 't is reason beare away the ware Which to supply is thy continuall care But thy wiues ware farre better rate doth hold Which vnto sundry chapmen's dayly sold. Her Fayre lasts all the yeere and doth not finish Nor doth her ware ought lessen or diminish 73 Of his translation of Ariosta I Spent some yeeres months weeks and dayes In Englishing the Italian Ariost. And straight some offered Epigrams in praise Of that my thankelesse paines and fruitlesse cost But while this offer did my spirits raise And that I told my friend thereof in post He disapprou'd the purpose many wayes And with this prouerbe prou'd it labour lost Good Ale doth need no signe good Wine no bush Good verse of praisers needs not passe a rush 74 Of Cinna's Election PVre Cinna makes no question he 's elect Yet lewdly liues I might beleeue him better If he would change his life or change one letter And say that he is sure he is eiect An holy true and long preserued purity May hap and buâ— perhap breede such securitie 75 The Author to a Daughter of nine yeere olde THough pride in Damsels is a hatefull vice Yet could I like a Noble-minded Girle That would demand me things of costly price Rich Veluet gownes pendents and chaines of Pearle Carknets of Aggats cut with rare deuice Not that hereby she should my minde
but a man 's more grac'd noted of no vice 18 Of the corne that rained I Handled tasted saw it with mine eyes The graine that lately fell downe from the skies Yet what it tok'ned could I not deuise And many doubts did in my minde arise At last I thus resolu'd it signifies That this is our sole meane to mend this dearth To aske from heau'n that we doe lacke on earth 19 To his wife at the birth of his sixt Child THe Poet Martiall made a speciall sute Vnto his Prince to grant him vnder seale Right of three children which they did impute A kinde of honour in their Common-weale But for such sute my selfe I need not trouble For thou do'st seale to me this Patent double 20 Against Feasting KInde Marcus me to supper lately bad And to declare how well to vs he wishes The roome was strow'd with Roses and with Rushes And all the cheere was got that could be had Now in the midst of all our dainty dishes Me thinke said he to me you looke but sad Alas said I 't is to see thee so mad To spoile the skies of Fowles the seas of fishes The land of beasts and be at so much cost For that which in one houre will all be lost That entertainment that makes me most glad Is not the store of stew'd boyl'd bak't and rost But sweet discourse meane fare then beleeue me To make to thee like cheere shall neuer grieue me 21 Against Cosmus couetousnesse COsmus when I among thine other vices That are in nature foule in number many Aske thee what is the reason thee entices To be so basely pinching for thy penny Do'st thou not call vpon thy selfe a curse Not to enioy the wealth that thou hast wonne But saue as if thy soule were in thy purse Thou straight reply'st I saue all for my sonne Alas this re-confirmes what I said rather Cosmus hath euer beene a Penny-â—ather 22 Against Vintners in Bathe IF men ought those in dutie to commend That questions of Religion seeke to end Then I to praise our Vintners doe intend For Question is twixt Writer old and latter If wine alone or if wine mixt with water Should of the blessed Sacrament be matter Some ancient Writers wish it should be mingled But latter men with much more zeale in kindled Will haue wine quite and cleane from water singled Our zealous Vintners here growne great Diuines To finde which way antiquitie enclines For pure zeale mix with water all our wines Well plainly to tell truth and not to flatter I find our wines are much the worse for water 23 To Bassifie his wiues mother when shee was angry MAdam I read to you a little since The story of a Knight that had incurd The deep displeasure of a mighty Prince For feare of which long time he neuer sturd Till watching once the King that came froÌ„ Chappel His little sonne fast by him with his Gardon Entic'd the Infant to him with an apple So caught him in his armes and su'd for pardon Then you shall turne your angry frown from lafter As oft as in mine armes you see your daughter 24 To his wife of Poppea Sabynas faire heyre MAll once I did but doe not now enuy Fierce Neroe's blisse of faire Poppeas rayes â—hat in his lap koming her locks would lye â—ech hayre of hers a verse of his did praise â—ut that prais'd beauty fruitlesse spent her daies â—o yong Augustus euer cal'd him Dad. â—o small Poppeas with their prettie playes â—id melt their hearts and melting make them glad â—ut thou in this do'st passe his faire Sabyna â—hat hast seuen times beene succor'd by Lucina â—hy wombe in branches seau'n it selfe displayes Then leaue I Nero with Poppeas heyres To ioy and to inioy thee and thine heyres 25 Against Lalus an ill Preacher YOng Lalus tooke a Text of excellent matter And did the same expound but mâ—rre the latter â—is tongue so vainely did and idly chatter â—he people nought but hem cough and spatter Then said a Knight not vs'd to lye or flatter Such Ministers doe bring the Diuels blessing That marre vs so good meate with so ill dressing 26 Against Paulus an Atheist LEwd Lalus led by Sadduces infection Doth not beleeue the bodies resurrection And holds them all in scorne and deepe derision That tell of Saints or Angels apparision And sweares such things are fables all and fancies Of Lunatiques or Fooles possest with franzies I haue said he trauail'd both neere and farre By sea by land in time of peace and warre Yet neuer met I sprite or ghost or elfe Or ought as is the phrase worse then my selfe Well Paulus this I now beleeue indeede For who in all or part denies his Creede Went he to sea land hell I would agree A Fiend worse then himselfe shall neuer see 27 To Galla going to the Bathe WHen Galla for her health goeth to the Bathe She carefully doth hide as is most meete With aprons of fine linnen or a sheete Those parts that modesty concealed hath Nor onely those but eu'n the brest and necke That might be seene or showne without all checkâ— But yet one foule and vnbeseeming place She leaues vncouered still What 's that Her facâ— 28 To one that had meate ill drest KIng Mithridate to poysons so inur'd him As deadly poysons damage none procur'd him So you to stale vnsauorie foode and durtie Are so inur'd as famine ne're can hurt yee 29 Of giuing much credit OF all the Towne old Codros giues most credit Who he poore soule Alas that ere you sed it How can he credit much and is so poore Hee 's blinde yet makes he loue to euery whore 30 Of honest Theft To my good friend Master Samuel Daniel PRoud Paulus late my secrecies reuealing Hath told I got some good conceits by stealing But where got he those double Pistolets With which good clothes good fare good land he gets Tush those he saith came by a man of warre That brought a Prize of price from countries farre Then fellow Thiefe let 's shake together hands â—ith both our wares are filcht from forren lands You 'le spoile the Spaniards by your writ of Mart And I the Romanes rob by wit and Art 31 Against Faustus IN skorne of writers Faustus still doth hold Nought is now said but hath beene said of old Well Faustus say my wits are grosse and dull If for that word I giue not thee a Gull Thus then I proue that holds a false position I say thou art a man of fayre condition A man true of thy word tall of thy hands Of high disent and left good store of lands Thou with false dice and cards hast neuer plaid Corrupted neuer Widdow Wife nor Maid And as for swearing none in all this Reame Doth seldomer in speech curse or blaspheme In fine your vertues are so rare and ample For all our sonnes thou maist be made a sample This I dare sweare none euer said before This