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A01953 The schoole of abuse conteining a plesaunt [sic] inuectiue against poets, pipers, plaiers, iesters, and such like caterpillers of a co[m]monwelth; setting vp the hagge of defiance to their mischieuous exercise, [and] ouerthrowing their bulwarkes, by prophane writers, naturall reason, and common experience: a discourse as pleasaunt for gentlemen that fauour learning, as profitable for all that wyll follow virtue. By Stephan Gosson. Stud. Oxon. Gosson, Stephen, 1554-1624. 1579 (1579) STC 12097.5; ESTC S103345 29,663 88

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profite well in the Arte of Musicke shutte your Fidels in their cases and looke vp to heauen the order of the Spheres the vnfallible motion of the Planets the iuste course of the yeere and varietie of seasons the concorde of the Elementes and their qualyties Fyre Water Ayre Earth Heate Colde Moysture and Drought concurring togeather to the constitution of earthly bodies and sustenance of euery creature The politike Lawes in well gouerned common wealthes that treade downe the prowde and vpholde the meeke the loue of the King his subiectes the Father and his childe the Lorde and his Slaue the Maister and his Man The Trophees and Triumphes of oure auncestours which pursued vertue at the hardeheeles and shunned vyce as a rocke for feare of shipwracke are excellent maisters too shewe you that this is right Musicke this perfecte harmony Chiron when hee appeased the wrath of Achilles tolde him the duetie of a good souldier repeated the vertues of his father Peleus and sung the famous euterprises of noble men Terpandrus when he ended the brabbles at Lacedaemon neyther pyped Rogero nor Turkelony but reckoning vp the commodities of friendeship and fruites of debate putting them in mind of Lycurgus lawes taught them too treade a better measure When Homers muūcke droue the pestilence from the Grecians camp there was no such vertue in his penne nor in his pipe but if I might bee vmpier in the sweet harmony of diuerse natures wonderful cōcord of sundry medicines For Apolloes cunning excendeth it self aswel to Phisick as musick or Poetrie And Plutarch reporteth that as Chiron was a wise man a learned Poet a skilful Musition so was hee also a teacher of iustice by shewing what Princes ought to doe and a Reader of Phisicke by opening the natures of manie simples If you enquire howe manie suche Poetes and Pipers wee haue in our Age I am perswaded that euerie one of them may creepe through a ring or daunce the wilde Morice in a Needles eye We haue infinite Poets and Pipers and suche peeuishe cattel among vs in Englande that liue by merrie begging mainteyned by almes and priuily encroch vppon euerie mans purse But if they that are in authoritie and haue the sworde in their handes to cut off abuses shoulde call an accōpt to see how many Chirons Terpandri and Homers are heere they might cast the summe without pen or counters and sit downe with Racha to weepe for her Children because they were not He that compareth our instruments with those that were vsed in ancient times shall see them agree like Dogges Cattes and meete as tump as Germans lippes Terpandrus and Olimpus vsed instrumēts of 7. strings And Plutarch is of opinion that the instruments of 3. strings with were vsed before their time passed al that haue followed since It was an old law lōg kept that no mā should according to his owne humor adde or diminish in matters cōcerning that Art but walk in the pathes of their predecessors But whē newfangled Phrynis becam a fidler being somwhat curious in carping searching for moats with a pair of blearde eies thought to amend his maisters marred al. Timotheus a bird of the same broode a right hoūd of the same Hare toke the 7. stringed harp that was altogether vsed in Terpādrus time increaced the num these abuses in the compasse of that countrey but like vnto yll weedes in time spread so far that they choked the good grayne in euery place For as Poetrie Piping are Cosen germans so piping and playing are of great affinity and all three chayned in linkes of abuse Plutarch complaineth that ignorant men not knowyng the maiestie of auncient musick abuse both the eares of the people and the Arte it selfe with bringing sweete consortes into Theaters which rather effeminate the minde as pricks vnto vice then procure amendement of manners as spurres to vertue Ouid the high martial of Venus fielde planteth his maine battell in publique assemblies sendeth out his scoutes too Theaters to descry the enimie and in steede of vaunte Curriers with instruments of musicke playing singing and daūcing geues the first charge Maximus Tyrius holdeth it for a Maxime that the bringing of instrumēts to Theaters plaies was the first cup that poisoned the common weaith They that are borne in Seriphos cockered cōtinually in those Illandes where they see nothing but Foxes Hares wil neuer be persuaded that there are huger beastes They that neuer went out of the chāpions in Brabant will hardly conceiue what rockes are in Germany And they that neuer goe out of their houses for regard of their credit nor steppe from the vniuersitye for loue of knowledge seeing but slender offences small abuses within their owne walles wil neuer beleeue that such rockes are abrode nor such horrible monsters in playing places But as I speake the one to my comforte the other to my shame and remember both with a forrowfull hart I was first instructed in the vniuersity after drawne like a nouice to these abuses so wil I shew you what I see informe you what I reade of such affaires Ouid sayth that Romulus builte his Theater as a horse faire for hores made Triumphes set out playes to gather the fayre women togither that euery one of his sonldiers might take where he liked a snatch for his share whervppon the Amarous Scholemaister bursteth out in these words Romule militibꝰ solus dare praemia nosti Haec mihi si dederis cōmoda miles ero Thou Romulus alone knowest how thy souldiers to rewarde Graunt me the like my selfe will be attendant on thy garde It should seeme that the abuse of such places was so great that for any chaste liuer to haunt them was a black swan a white crowe Dion so straightly forbiddeth the ancient families of Rome gentlewomen that tender their name honor to cōe to Theaters rebuks thē so sharply when he takes thē napping that if they be but once seene there hee iudgeth it sufficient cause to speake il of them thinke worse The shadowe of a knaue hurts an honest mā the sent of the stewes a sober matron and the shew of Theaters a simple gaser Clitomachus the wrestler geuen altogether to manly exercise if hee had hearde any talke of loue in what cōpany soeuer he had bin would forsake his seat bid them adue Lacon when hee sawe the Atheniens studie so muche to set out Playes sayde they were madde If men for good exercise and women for theyr credite ve shut from Theaters whom shal we suffer to goe thither Litle children Plutarch with a caueat keepeth them out not so much as admitting the litle crackhalter that carrieth his maisters pantouffles to set foote within those doores And alledgeth this reasō that those wanton spectacles of lyght huswiues drawing gods from the heauens young men from them selues to shipwracke of honestie will hurte them more thē if at the Epicures
Semelinsaniuimus omnes I haue sinned and am sorry for my fault hee runnes farre that neuer turnes better late then neuer I gaue my self to that exercise in hope to thriue but I burnt one candle to seek another and lost bothe my time and my trauell when I had doone Thus sith I haue in my voyage suffred wrack with Vlisses and wringing-wet scambledwith life to the shore stād from mee Nausicaä with all thy traine till I wipe the blot from my forhead and with sweet springs wash away the salt froath that cleaues too my soule Meane time if Players bee called to accounte for the abuses that growe by their assemblyes I would not haue them to answere as Pilades did for the Theaters of Rome when they were complayned on and Augustus waxed angry This resort O Caesar is good for thee for heere we keepe thousandes of idle heds occupyed which elseperaduēture would brue some mischiefe A fit Cloude co couer their abuse not vnlike to the starting hole that Lucinius found who like a greedy surueiour beeing sente into Fraunce to gouerne the Countrie robbed them and spoyled them of all their Treasure with vnreasonable taskes at the last when his crueltie was so loudely cryed out on that euery man hearde it and all his packing did sauour so strōg that Augustus smelt it he brought the good Emperour into his house flapped him in the mouth with a smoth lye and tolde him that for his sake the safetie of Rome hee gathered those riches the better to impouerish the Countrie for rysing in Armes and so holde the poore Frenchmennes Noses to the Grindstone for euer after A bad excuse is better they say then none at all Hee because the Frenchmē paid tribute euery moneth into xitti Moneths deuided the yeere These because they are allowed to play euery Sunday make iiii or v. Sundayes at least euery weeke and all that is doone is good for Augustus to busy the wittes of his people for running a wolgathering and to emptie their purses for thriuing to fast Though Lucinius had the cast to playster vppe his credite with the losse of his money I trust that they which haue the swoorde in their hands among vs to pare away this putryfied flesh are sharper sighted and will not so easily be deluded Marcus Aurelius sayth That players falling from iuste labour to vniusse idlenesse doe make more trewandes and ill husbands then if open Schooles of vnthrifts Uagabounds were kept Who soeuer readeth his Epistle too Lambert the gouernor of Hellespont when Players were banished shall find more against them in plainer tearmes then I willl vtter This haue I setdowne of the abuses of Poets Pypers and Players which bringe vs too pleasure slouth sleepe sinne and without repentaunce to death and the Deuill which I haue not confirmed by authoritie of the Scriptures because they are not able to stand vppe in the sighte of God and sithens they dare not abide the field where the word of God dooth bidde them battayle but runne to Antiquityes though nothing be more ancient then holy Scriptures I haue giuē them a volley of prophane writers to beginne the skirmishe and doone my indeuour to beate them from their holdes with their owne weapons The Patient that will be cured of his owne accorde must seeke the meane if euery man desire to saue one and drawe his owne feete from Theaters it shall preuayle as much against these abuses as Homers Moly against Witchcraft or Plynies Peristerion against the byting of Dogges God hath armed euery creature agaynst his enemie The Lyon with pawes the Bul with hornes the Bore with tuskes the Uulture with tallents Hartes Hindes Hares and such like with swiftnes of feete because they are fearefull euery one of them putting his gift in practise But man which is Lord of the whole earth for whose seruice herbes trees rootes plants fish soule beasts of the fielde were first made is far worse then the brute beasts for they endewed but with sence doe Appetere salutaria declinare noxia seeke that which helpes them and forsake that which hurtes them Man is enriched with reason and knowledge with knowledge to serue his maker and gouerne himselfe with reason to distinguish good and il chose the best neither referring the one to the glory of God nor vsing the other to his owne profite Fire and Ayre mount vpwards Earth and Water sinke downe euery insensible body else neuer rests til it bring it self to his owne home But we which haue both sense reason wit and vnderstāding are euer ouerlashing passing our boundes going beyonde our limites neuer keeping our selues within compasse nor once loking after the place from whence we came and whither we muste in spighte of our hartes Aristotle thinketh that in greate windes the Bees carry little stones in their mouthes too peyse their bodyes least they bee carryed away or kepte from their Hiues vnto which they desire to returne with the fruites of their labour The Crane is said to rest vpon one leg and holding vp the other keepe a Pebble in her clawe which as sone as the senses are bound by approch of sleepe falles to the ground with the noise of the knock against the Earth makes her awake whereby shee is euer redy to preuent her enemies Geese are foolish birdes yet whē they flye ouer the mount Taurus they shew greate wisedome in their own defence for they stop their pipes full of grauel to auoide gagling so by silence escape the Eagles Woodcocks though they lack witte to saue them selues yet they want not will to auoyde hurte when they thrust theyr heades in a Bushe and thinke their bodyes out of daunger But wee which are so brittle that we breake with euery fillop so weake that wee are drawne with euery threade so light that wee are blowen away with euery vlaste so vnsteady that we slip in euery ground neither peyse our bodyes againste the winde nor stand vppon one legge for sleeping too much nor close vppe our lippes for betraying our selues nor vse any witte to garde our owne persons nor shewe our selues willing too shunne our owne harmes running most greedily to those places where we are soonest ouerthrowne I cannot lyken our affection better than to an Arrowe which getting lybertie with winges is carryed beyonde our reach kepte in the Quiuer it is still at commaundement Or to a Dogge let him slippe he is straight out of sight holde him in the Lease hee neuer stirres Or to a Colte giue him the bridle he flinges aboute raine him hard you may rule him Or to a ship hoyst the sayles it runnes on head let fall the Ancour all is well Or to Pandoraes boxe lift vppe the lidde out flyes the Deuill shut it vp fast it cannot hurt vs. Let vs but shut vppe our eares to Poets Pypers and Players pull our feete back from resort to Theaters and turne