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A81063 England's jests refin'd and improv'd being a choice collection of the merriest jests, smartest repartee's, wittiest sayings, and most notable bulls, yet extant with many new ones, never before printed. To which are added, XI[V]. ingenious characters drawn to the life. The whole work compil'd with great care and exactness: and may serve as the witty-man's companion, the busy-man's diversion, and the melancholy-man's physick and recreation. The second edition with additions. Calculated for the innocent spending of the winter evenings, by H.C. Crouch, Humphrey, fl. 1635-1671.; Drapentier, Jan, fl. 1674-1713, engraver. 1687 (1687) Wing C7277A; ESTC R231051 63,902 190

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due I think the World has Sully'd his Reputation with divers Scandals of which he is no ways Guilty Wherefore because only intend his Conversion not his Consumption Like an honest Historian ●ince I write his Life I ought not to see him wrong'd but rather to rescue him from those Callumnies thrown on him by persons in some respects worse then himself The first imputation therefore that they impose on him is that he is proud And why for sooth but because when he has a Drop in his Eye he brags as if he were a better man then his Neighbours A stout reason indeed as if a man might not do as much that were either Light-headed or in a Fever Nay Passion alone makes the wisest of us Bedlams But let us do as we would be done by and take him when he is himself that is in a Mornning and then I am sure he is as free from Pride as a Quaker from good Manners or Ribonds for would Custom admit I am confident he would rather go to the Ale-house Naked than undergo the hard Pennance of Sobriety while he dresses himself Secondly They call him an Idle fellow a good fellow all the Word knows he is but as for idleness let me dye if I know any one more free from it then he What would they have of him trow he rises early sits up late and I dare Swear he grudges himself his very Sleep because it keeps him from his Business When he is at it no Man more expeditious then he for as if his Minutes like his Estate ran away too fast you shall frequently see him with an Ale Glass in one hand and a Looking-Glass in the other which betokens both speed and frugality The third and most fallacious Accufation is that they say He 's Prodigal and Pisses his Estate against the Wall. But I am confident he Enriches or Perfumes the Walls no more than others onely this I know he does that whereas Usurers use to hide their Riches in Earthen Pots he puts his Estate in a Pewter one which one would think were the safer Cabinet so that it is not the Honest Drunken Curr but the Impudent Rogues Drawers and Tapsters that imbezle and make it away Much more might be said of him both in his Vindication and in commendation also For he is one of the quietest Subjects his Majesty has and most submissive to Monarchical Government He would not be without a King if it were for no other Reason than meerly Drinking his Health He hates Coffee but dare not enter on a serious thought or if hee doe it is such Melancholy that it sends him to be drunke againe XIV A Baker NO man verifies the Proverbe more that it is an Almes-deed to punish him for his penalty is a Dole and do's the Beggers as much good as their Dinner Hee abhors therefore workes of Charitie and thinkes his Bread cast away when it is given to the poore He loves not Iustice neither for the weigh-scales sake and hates the Clarke of the Market as his Executioner yet hee finds mercy in his offences and his Basket onely is sent to Prison Marry a Pillory is his deadly enemy and hee never heares well after FINIS A Catalogue of BOOKS newly Printed for John Harris at the Harrow against the Church in the Poultrey 1 THe Conviction of Worldly Vanity Or The Wandring Prodigal and his Return In Two Parts PART I. Containing his debate with himself about his setting forward in search of the Palace of Worldly Felicity His hearkening to the Advice of Folly and submitting himself to her Conduct the manner of her furnishing him out of the Progress he made and the various Adventures he met with by the way As also the Entertainment he found at his Arrival and his Riotous Living there With his Description of the Vices Reigning therein PART II. Giving a full Account of his Miraculous Escape from the Palace of Worldly Felicity Of the glorious Prospect he had of the Coelestial City And of the Progress he made towards it under the Conduct of Divine Grace With the manner of his Proceeding and the several Occurrences he met with by the way His Arrival at the Palace of Vertue and True Felicity and his Joyful Reception there His Excellent Description thereof and of the Divine and Moral Vertues which he found therein Both Pleasant and Profitable Deliver'd under the Similitude of A Wandring Youth Illustrated with Proper Cutts Price Bound One Shilling 2 Come and Welcom to Jesus Christ Or a plain and profitable Discourse on John 6. Verse 37. Shewing the Cause Truth and Manner of the Coming of a Sinner to Jesus Christ with his Happy Reception and Blessed Entertainment by John Bunnyan Author of the Pilgrims Progress Price Bound One Shilling 3 A Discourse upon the Pharisee and the Publican Wherein several great and weighty things are handled As the nature of Prayer and of Obedience to the Law with how far it obliges Christians and wherein it consists Wherein is also shewed the equally deplorable condition of the Pharisee or Hypocrital and Self-righteous Man and of the Publican or Sinner that lives in Sin and in violation of the Divine Laws Together wirh the Way and Method of God's Free Grace in Pardoning Penitent Sinners proving that he justifies them by imputing Christs Righteousness to them Price Bound One Shilling 4 A Discourse of Divine Providence 1. In General That there is a Providence Exercised by God in the World. 2. In Particular How all Gods Providences in the World are in order to the good of his People By the late Learned Divine Stephen Charnock E. D. sometimes Fellow of New Colledge in Oxon. Price Bound Three Shillings 5 The Saints Comfort in all but more especially in Evil times Drawn from Twelve several Texts of Scripture which are briefly explained in this small Piece By T. G. Minister of the Gospel Price Bound One Shilling 6 A Present for Ladies The Nymphs of Diana or the Excellencies of Women kind describ'd as well in their External Beauty as Internal Virtue being an Advocate for the Fair Sex compriz'd in an Illustrious History of it Represented not only in Lively and Pathetical Discourses grounded upon Reason but in sundry rare Examples of Virtuous Love Piety Prudence Modesty Chastity Patience Humility Temperance Conduct Constancy and Firmness of Mind With what else in the like nature is necessary to the Accomplishment of the most Celebrated Beauties With other Examples of Women skill'd in the most curious Arts and Sciences To which are Added The Examples of Warlike Women their Noble Exploits and Victories With the Prophecies and Predictions of the Sybils in Relation to our Saviour Christ c. And as an Apendix the Character of a Virtuous Woman in all her Capacities viz. Of a Virgin of a Wife and of a Widow Wherein is shew'd the happiness that accrues to Man in the possession of so great a Blessing as a Virtuous Woman with the Reasons