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virtue_n iron_n part_n touch_v 1,197 5 9.5651 5 true
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ID Title Author Corrected Date of Publication (TCP Date of Publication) STC Words Pages
B03479 A discourse of friendship. By E.G. gent. E. G., gent. 1676 (1676) Wing G11A; ESTC R177287 95,537 184

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in an equal conversation and must live by the same the Wise man observed that in a time of separation frendship was of a small signification Better saith he is a neighbour near then a brother afar off and he draws his argument from the incapacity of the one and the capacity of the other for all friendly acts intercourses its true frendship may last when by some accident the persons are divided but not in that vigour it did before it is a languishing friendship we may understand this by the similitude of the love of the iron the loadstone which ariseth from a hidden quality the motion of the iron towards the loadstone is slow while at a distance but quick when near and when it doth but touch it it cleaves so fast that unless forced 't will never part and when it is parted 't will at the furthest part of the world retain the vertue of the touch so Friends while at a distance move slowly but when together are so united that they cannot be separated without great force and violence and their separation is like the dividing the heart from the body now that there is nothing in the bare relation that can amount to friendship will be further evident by our daily experience which furnisheth us with instances of the great animosities among brethren and such aversions as cannot consist with friendship Look into the family of Adam and there you see murther into the Family of Isaac you would think you should not miss of kindeness there yet instead thereof we finde Esau consulting with himself how he should slay his brother this is most true that there may be much indeared affection between brethren occasioned by the equalness of their persons and conversation they having in them all other requisites ar● first to be chosen as the most fit persons for friendship the relation being something and when both these meet the relation and frendship they exemplifie one the other and shine most illustriously but some may think I have pursued this subject too far I am sure it was with no designe to derogate from the just desert due to any relation yet I would not have them monopolize our esteem so as to snuffle out Frendship which so truly deserves our value I come now to the qualifications which are necessary in order to a well grounded frendship all that I have said hitherto is previous to what remains I hope none will expect frendship in an artificial dress attended with elegant phrases and words well accented this being both above my ability and far wide of my designe which is a general satisfaction in this material concern in the plainest way that I can gla●ing and gaudy embellishments being trivial accomplishments where truth is concerned which shines bright enough without them The First qualification is this there must be an intire affection and love among friends this is the principal hindge upon which this concern turns this being a philosophical discourse it will be necessary to touch upon love in general Love in the general nature of it is either rational and supream or sensual and subordinate in the sirst sence love is the most vigorous potent sovereign affectionate it sits as Queen Regent in the will and governs all the faculties love is the spring of humane actions and gives life being and motion to them all the other affections as desire hope joy fear anger all these are but the several forms and shapes os love for as the object of love is affected with this or that circumstance so is love proportionably invested with this or that form if the object be absent love goes out to meet it in desire if present it solaceth it self in fruition and delight if under danger and hazard love trembleth with fear if it be impeded or hindred love waxeth angry and impatient when there is any possibility of enjoying the object love moves nimbly after it if impossible of enjoyment so that the object be lost love clothes it self in mourning habit there is also a kinde of love in the sensual and animal part but this is more passionate that in the superiour part more rational this is more uncertain that more fixed this more confused that more regular and uniform There is a threefold love First Divine and that is altogether spiritual and highly rational Secondly there is a natural love and that may be bruitisn as well as rational Thirdly there is a moral love and that consists in a mean betwixt both evermore the thing beloved gives the denomination to love if the object be divine it is a divine love if sensual it is a bruitish love if moral it is a moral love Love is an affection of union whereby we desire and enjoy perpetual union with the thing beloved and there are these two effects that immediatly flow from this union First it is transforming and changing by love we are changed into a thing more noble or more vile so that we debase our selves when we love any unworthy and inferiour thing whatever we love we give a kinde of dominion over us so that the will loseth its dignity when it loves abject things Again Love inlarges and widens the heart not only for the reception of the bounty and generosity of the object but the object it self is that the heart goes out after when the will is filled with love it awakens all the powers and moves all the faculties towards the object the understanding meditates and is enquiring after the excellency of the thing beloved still musing and plodding about it the will is obstinate and will not be charmed of its object the thoughts they are still kindling the affections who are in eager pursuit after the thing beloved but I shall speak more particularly to this matter and explain my meaning in this particularly My meaning is that there must be an intire love not only to the qualities of the minde though those be most worthy but this love must reach the superficies of the body if that be ungrateful there cannot be a complacential Frendship As the interiour part must have Analogy to reason so the external part must be accommodated to the fancy in short there must not be conceived in the sancy a disgust against the form and condition of the person all love begins with the person if that be displeasing and ungrateful nothing will satisfie there is that in the person of every man that either obligeth or disobligeth the fancy instance there may be some personal defects which are so natural that they cannot be divided from the person and these may be very displeasing or there may be some cross dispositions they may be so riveted by custome that they will hardly if ever be cured Love studies the person in the first place and it is most necessary because as there is a kinde of antipathy in some persons to some creatures so that they cannot be brought to take any pleasure in them so many