that therefore whereby these thynges are wrought is moste excellente by warre they are wrought Ergo it is most excellent but warre before is proued Madnes therefore Madnes is most excellente Doo not all the fower vertues concurre togeather lincked as it weere in one Chayne whersoeuer therfore thou findest Fortitude thinke also that there concurreth wyth it Iustice Temperaunce and Prudence nowe if warre leade all these vertues as it weere by a stringe as certaynly it dothe for euery man wyll confesse that it is but Iustice to reuenge Iniuries fortitude then executeth reuenge wisdome subministreth policie to reuenge temperaunce appoynteth measure how farre to reuenge then followethe consequentlye that Madnes must nedes bee good who hath for his ayde so manye vertues wherewith it is garded but here some curyous head wil obiecte and saye Syr can a man be madde and modest I answeare yea aswell as warrelyke and valiaunte for where one vertue taketh place there the residewe ensue thus may you perceaue that nothing letteth Madnes more to bee modestie then valiauncie in battaile to be fortitude but euery vertue is in his owne nature singularly good ioygned to an other more good cōcurring altogether most good so make the thing to be wherein they be in madnes they bee as I haue proued therefore Madnes is most good All thinges in nature are grounded vppon these twoo Loue and Hate and of loue to let Hate passe there be manye kyndes the Loue of God of our Parentes of our fryendes of our Countrye of our Wiues and Chyldren and of our selues and all these loues nature inferreth whereby wee be combined and lincked one to an other in full and perfecte league and amitye nowe is there one loue which beareth the stroke the Loue of procreation naturallye incidente to euerye one of vs guyded as the Poetes faygne by the pearcing shote and amorous arrowes of that litle wanton boye Cupido whose Golden arrowe worketh Loue and leaded darte engendreth hatred and alas what is Loue but a swete hate of our selues and a pleasaūt Madnes as Angelus Politianus notably recordeth in that boke which is intituled Stanze di Messer Angelo Politiano where he bringeth in Iuliane Medices speakinge to young Louers parte of whose woordes in that place be these Costui ch' el vulgo errante chiamo Amore E dolce ynsania A Madnes svveete is he vvhom erring Loue The common sorte do call And Fraunciscus Petrarcha bereft I suppose of his wittes for the Loue of his Ladye Laura in his Songes and Sonettes singeth thus Veggio senz'occhi e non ho linqua egrido E bramo di perir e geggio aita E ho in odio me stesso amo altrui Pascomi di dolor piangendo rido Egualmente mi spiace morte vita In questo stato son Donna per vui With eyes I nothing se my tongue is lost Yet do I crye and languishe to my coste Desirous life to ende yet healpe require Selfe hate me burnes vvhile loue stirres vp the fire With dole I feede my selfe in teares I laughe At life and death a like I fling the staffe In this estate I rest Madame for you How saye you by this geare is Loue nowe madnes or not and yet as Counte Baldessar Castilio sayth in his booke of the Courtier if an hoste of Louers were in the fielde and should hire euerye man but the cohortation of a weake woman to battayle there would be in suche bickeringe and such murder and smiting downe to please their Ladies that after great hewinge flashinge they wolde lay their carckasses and māly corpses before their eyes in the open fielde or elles obtayne suche a precious and tryumphaunt victorye that both sea and lande shoulde wholye be astonied to heare the greate renowme glorie thereof Although Mantuan we knowe beinge a lustie Freer and restrayned from his manelye appetites and frō the amorous girles which peraduenture be more desired then deserued cryeth out vpon Loue in this wyse Ludit amor sensus oculos perstringit aufert Libertatem animi mira nos fascinat arte Credo aliquis daemō subiens praecordia flāmam Concitat raptam tollit de cardine mentem Nec Deus vt perhibent amor est sed amaeror error Loue all the senses dothe beguile and bleareth al our eies It cuttes of freedome of the mynde and makes vs gape for flies I thinke some furious fend of Hell the hart doth this enflame And bringeth quite the same a dovvne from loftie reasons frame Ne is this Loue a God in deede but lies and bitter bane Be it what it will be it is certaynely a burninge fyre consuminge the sinewes and percinge thorowe the boanes and eatynge oute the peaseable quietnes of the mynde euen as a mothe a garmente as a Grashopper a greane Hearbe as a rust and cankar al kinde of Mettal in fire we see nothing but madnes for it burneth and wasteth all thinges moste vehemently in Loue of euery sort we perceaue nothinge but fire and zeale for it freateth the harte and burneth it vp moste fearcely eyther because of the thing that it loueth already obtayned or for the thing that it loueth to obtayne yt whiche is the cause that Poetes in comedies and Tragedies haue set forth Ad viuum the sundry loues of sundrye parsonnes as of Ariadne and Theseus Medea and Iason Deianira Hercules Clytemnestra and Hyppolitus Paris and Helena and that whiche Ouide singeth most for a wonder the loue of Narcissus Eccho Pygmalion his Image these are all set foorth to shewe the nature of loue moste igniferous and fyery whiche neuer is stanched but by deathe or desire whereupon this little reason may serue for proufe all fire is madnes in his operation euery Loue is a fire therefore euery Loue is madnes But here by and by commeth Mounsieur Beaumains and shaketh mee by the fiste and sayth sir Where is your fisher towne of Caletum whoos 's chiefe Marchaundise weere Sprats and pilchardes which made all our Countrye men sicke of the yallowe Iandise and of the whyte Leprosie bee shrewe my head Thurlpole and Gardener the one with his whyte rodde the other wyth his Perselye mattocke well rescued the Towne when the plum boates of Fraunce came in to offer a poudred bullies in the woorshippe of Sayncte Nicolas to his Churche and Temple there I cannot tell quoth I wher oure frynde Thurlepole was at that tyme I know wher he was at ane other time videlicet at Rome wyth a certayne noble man of Englande who for honoures sake shal be namelesse for that hee went more modestlye to woorke then the other as yee shall well heare marcke the Comedye I praye you it chaunced that these aforesayde entringe into Roome wyth solemne Procession wyth Streamers and Banners wyth bagpipes Bellles and Basens and all manner of solemnitye the Popes holinesse and myghtye fatherhode in worshippe of Sainct Bancke the bawdye sente vnto their lodginges two Lemons to season
my dead Fryende vppon the body of my yet liuinge enimy it was but for good wil and not for anger Why so I pray you Forsoth Zeno sayth so If I take a malefactour which hath either despoiled me of my goods or good name peraduenture some other of my leeges subiectes arrayn thē at the barre and sue him to deathe therfore I did it not for anger but for good will to the partye why so I pray you Forsoothe Zeno sayth so If I see my wyfe violated before mine eies I come to hir succoures endamage the Traitour of my bodie and the Adultecesse a like I did it for friendshippe and not for malice Why so I pray you sir Forsooth Zeno sayeth so Al these thinges ought to moue a wyse man and yet this man is so Cholerick that he graspeth nature fast by the bosome we must not wepe for our fryendes our parentes or countrye no more then I muste reioyce ouer them for theire welthe Yea although it touche my selfe to the one for that it is vnseeminge for a wyse man to conceaue anye griefe whiche hee callethe 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 the other for that neither barrel is better hearing and that he calleth 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 that is to saye surplusage of boasting But heere commeth in Aristotle and saythe A wyse mannes parte is to measure hys anger and that he teacheth in his Ethicks and him taketh vp Tullie in his Tusculanes wyth this fryendly taunt Modū tu adhibes vitio what faith he puttest thou a measure in a faulte Nothing againste stomack good Maister Cicero but if a man shoulde aske you with out al choler I know you are a Stoicke you cānnot bee angry that made you so stoicklike in the face of the whole Courte to crye agaynste Marcus Antonius for very loue I am sore Sedens pro tribunali vino inebriatus cructās frustis esculentis etiam iudex gremium suum totū tribunal impleuit Sittīg vpō the Bēch beīg Chiefe iudge drūke with wine bealchīg in the faces of the people hee filled with greasie gobbets his owne lappe and the whole Iudgement Seat together But to aske you in conclusion what thincke you all anger a Vice what a little anger what the leste why I perceiue there is no meane for al standeth in extremityes First Anger is a faulte and a vice most horrible then Leuitie muste needes bee a vice and as horrible as it for al vertues stand betwene two extreames that is to saye Vices as Aristotle well defineth sayinge Virtus est habitus in mediocritate positus rationi consentaneus Vertue is an habite cōsisting in mediocritie to Reason agreable If all anger be naught then all the contrary is naughte so by consequence Vertue is iacke out of office Vertue banished Reason maye go shake his eares Reason exiled what foloweth but Madnes Therefore all turned to Vice all is starke staring Madnes So is youre maister Zenoes great end come to nothinge Ah sirra I am glad I haue met with you taise vous saith Zeno no more of that geare I am sure there are as mad as my selfe Whom think you Forsooth Aristotle yea sir come foorth answeare to your complaynte Zeno sayth you are as madde as he let me heare what can you say for your selfe what pourpose you the chiefesse ende of mannes lyfe Forsooth I think felicitee Ah do you so sir In deede sir I doe well remember that in your Schole there are twoo kindes of felicitye the one consisting in Action the other in Contemplation and the first you define after this sorte to bee an Action perfecte in a perfecte life nowe Aristotle I praye you tel me where is a perfecte life to bee founde Sir my workes speake for me Ah sir I remember wel in deede I reade thus There is say you a simple felicitie and ther is a felicitie Aggregate The simple Felicity cōsisteth of Vertue and they are not able to stand in Zenoes Schole who magnifyeth theym a yarde aboue you Simple felicitee quoth you alas poore shoten hearing this wil not serue the turne but let vs vewe a litle further you say that Felix semper agit The happy mā is alwaies occupied tel me Aristotle I praye you howe sleapynge or wakynge Both wel bowld Aristotle hath your head beene occupyed whyleste you weere a sleepe why not wel aunsweared Aristotle I beleeue you well for not so litle as the bridle wherewith you weere snaffled like a packe horse you knowe what I meane and I thinke youre heade as greatlye occupyed in sleepe to contriue an Alisander roote in steede of natures Alisander buddes whye good Mayster Aristotle do not you confesse that dreames come of humoures in youre bookes De somno vigilia if then humours woork in sleepe wha◠hath vertue to do let hir go tel chearye stones then God giue you good night thus is youre Symple felicitee simplye proued Now let vs come to your Aggregate felicity but what are the goodes of fortune and body who so of anye of these is destitute leseth name of happy what bee the goods of Fortune not as vncertayne as her selfe ebbing and flowing like the Sea waxinge and waninge like the Mone florishinge fading like the flowers postes of lustes slaues of tyme and altogeather vnstable as for the Body either disease withereth all calamity chaungeth or death destroyeth and admitte bothe were presente the goods of Fortune and Body let reason surcease in mynde whiche cannot bee but where vertue is whiche is not to bee founde as I haue proued al is turned topsituruye from discretion to madnes Ah sir howe do you by this tyme let me feele your Pulses me thincketh the feuer is sore vppon you oh Gods Lorde I am deceiued but I perceiue where the shooe wryngeth you youe seeke your refuge on Goddes name as Felicitye Contemplatiue and therein you are altogether wrapped in the skyes your mynd is altogeather vpon the Church Forsooth of men we muste become Goddes of Terrestriall Celestiall of bodies mindes to conclude of men madde men Wee muste not hincke on the kitchin because of the parlour ▪ nor of the parloure because of the chamber nor of the chaumber because of the garret nor of the garret because of the ayre wee must liue farre aboue the nature of Crowes Thus must men diet themselues with contemplation thus laye yee bolsters vnder mennes elbowes teaching them to be secure and idle and to growe to the stole with contemplatyon Is not this of al Madnes the most extreame Come hither come hyther Tullie let me hear thy iudgement thou sometymes madest a booke as concerning an Oratoure tell mee when thinckeste thou suche a one wil be surely when the Alpes and Appenine hilles stande bare without snowe Come hither Plato thou madest as greate a worke as he of the Common Wealth when thynkest thou that suche a one wyll euer aryse as thou speakeste of Surelye not as
theire wyne with all for the great ioye that hee conceaued of that little Kirke of England that was latly skipte into sayncte Peeters faythe agayne and had put of the greasie buskines of that Hereticke Luther as he termed it the temporall peare made answeare thanking his holines that he had at home an Orenge that better contented hym then his Leman Naye quothe the other prelate and put on stump Legges face on the matter I will neuer refuse our holy fathers gentlenes Et sic fuerunt duo in carne vna As for Gardener what should I speak of hym for I know he was aright gubbing monger of our Holy fathers Fisheborde and dyed accordingelye but I am sure that these louinge wormes wyth their cowplices gaue the Towne for Loue because they would not haue they re Countrye menne dye of the laske by mean of whyte heringes yette I am sure that theire Loue was plaine Madnes yet al the Catholikes from the moste to the leaste cōmended it therefore such Catholike Madnes ought not to bee spoken agaynst Now of vertues let vs surcease our communication for as it hath beene vttered pleasures altogeather Madnes yet nature hath inuented them but Omne simile generat simile so by consequente nature is Madnes yet what is better then nature Naturā quippe sequentes ducem nunquam aberrauibus saith Tullie vsīg nature for our guid we shal neuer go amisse And yet dooe wee not see that many are born blynde by nature dumbe by nature fooles by nature made men by nature ah goodlye nature but here they come with a goodlye Wype and say that perticular natures may be hindred but the vniuersall nature it selfe cannot as who should saye that perticular natures proceede not from the vniuersal but admitte wee graūt it true what say they to these thinges that come Preter naturam Contra naturam Monsters of nature can nature do any thing against it selfe For there is in these thinges Motus quies there is matter and torme and to conclude what is there not yet are they borne contrary to the Lawes of nature and to naturall thynges cōpared are monsters in nature if so be that perticulare nature erred in that it shoulde bringe foorth then was the perticulare nature so deceiued mad for nothinge striueth agaynst it selfe but madnes but beyng Contra naturam in deede agaynste all nature as by common experience is proued for monsters are in euery place if a man would but descrybe the monsters of India and Arabia where monsters bee moste common and of euerye sort infinite this shyfte of Descante maye go sleepe in the benche hole and so nature erreth vniuersally or doth not at al for monsters be in those places naturally borne Thus woulde they make nature teare her owne coate and so by a Consequente nature is Madnes but peraduenture they mean in these partes and so the reason may stand for as it is in these partes moste vnnaturall to haue a monster brought foorthe euen so for the most parte whatsoeuer is there brought foorthe is monstrous but to leaue this curious question whiche notwythstandynge myghte be well prosecuted for the question is of Madnes whatsoeuer is eternall is nature and Vertue Aristotle in his bokes De Caelo et Mundo sayth that the Worlde is eternall and the reason is because it is a globe and hath his circumference and perpetuall motion nowe of all eternalles the most eternall is surely Vertue which being proued before to accōpany Madnes maketh the thing it selfe wherevnto it is ioygned of like nature Bonum quo durantius eo melius A good the more of continuance the better But nothing can bee of moore continuaunce then Vertue whiche as hath beene alreadye proued is turned into Madnes Ergo nothing is better then Madnes All the whole heade of man as the wyse affirme is deuided into three partes the place of fantasie the place of cōmon distinction and the place of memorye fantasie conceiueth and offereth the formes of conceptes to common distinction to decerne common distinction to memorye to retayne nowe manifeste it is that the fantasie is deceyued and that it maketh man to offende especiallye when commen destinction geueth consent thereto aswell in formes in reasons which it conceiueth for example informes maye appeare by the straunge deuises nowe a dayes greate bigge and boysterous bumbarreld burste belled and burden buttocke Breeches the wearers where of sithence such geare was inuented become square bounce buttockes whereof they nede not greatlye to be ashamed for I beleue no one thynge hath so many qualityes firste in warre for wante they maye serue for greate Drummes and if the Kynge haue nede the worste breeche in the company is able to cōmaunde tenne twentye thousand at a clappe in lesse then halfe an howers warning as for the tyme of peace in it they serue to manye purposes first when hee rydeth they may serue very well for a paire of pulterers paniers secondly when he goeth they may serue for Colliers sackes and lastlye when hee sitteth they may serue for fattes to kepe plate from rayne and snowe yet I had al moste forgotten one thing that they maye serue for countynge howses for Rattes to keepe their reckeninges in and for liuerye stables to kepe quick cattle to rack and manger and had not these profitable propertyes come to memorye I woulde paraduenture haue sayde that these inuentions came frō Bedlem in Iuda but now knowinge what they bee inded I can sing of them as the Poete sometimes did of the Harpies which defiled the meate of Eneas complyces Tristius haud illis monstrum nec saeuior vlla Pestis ira Deûm Stigijs sese extulit vndit There neuer rose more monster fell or plague more dire and blacke Or ire of goddes or fendes of hell from gulfe of Stygian lack As for straunge deuises of fantasie in Apparel wherof common distinction misled not so vprightlye decerneth as they haue taken effect in hic passer so haue they wroughte the same in haec aquila both hee and shee and so respectinge the parsons in whom this excesse rageth wee may say Nominatiuo hic hec both naught and respectinge the monstrousnes of the thinge euery man will say Nominatiuo hic hec hoc starke naught Genitiuo huius neuer worse Datiuo huic neuer better Accusatiuo hunc hanc hoc out nettle in dock one mischiefe in an others necke Vocatiuo O Lorde amende it Ablatiuo ab hoc ab hac ab hoc beware the plage the pile the pestilence and the pocke these be the mischiefs that follow pride who leadeth no wher els but to the signe of the shepeshead in Winchester to eate a goose Nowe see howe preatelye the chaunge one wyth an other hee hath borowed of she the measure of shee s greate berdingale to make hee s greate hoose and shee hath borowed of hee the last vice shee sawe his coate to make shee a coate by God sende them cappes
fitte for the proporcion but this much may I say without treason to my Lorde Maiors Mule that theire womanheade is neuer the moore to weare it neuerthelesse to leue beetyme good Lord what haue I donne I crye them mercie I am sure I shall neuer come in their bokes agayn I am wyped out of their Memento I shall not haue a droppe of the milke of theire breastes if I woulde kneele down aske beawtye theire puppye forgiuenes yea muche lesse stand by whan with preatie shril voices the crye fie haue away with this dogge when they haue made a faulte but in hope they wil be reclamed and pardon my rudenes I will singe them a Greeke Fpi gramme which is this 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 All vvomen are indeede misledde Yet chieflye tvvoo good hovvers haue The one in chamber vvhen they vvedde the other vvhen they go to graue Whereof springe all these thinges verelye vppon this that phantasie hath perswaded common distinction who once beynge ouerthrowen taketh euery thing that foolish phātasie vpon head perswadeth to be very singular and vseth the same for head stronge reason and this aryseth by the perturbations of the mynde whiche once disquieted altereth the heade dryueth it into straunge quandares estraunginge it often tymes from the Law of nature and procuryng within the same a mortall combate by restraynte of vnderstandinge whyle phantasye fighteth wyth distinction and enfeebleth memorye in such sorte that vneth it is able to entertayne enye holesome lesson or instruction if there bee suche a continuall battayle inwardlye in euery of vs and yet the same necessary for the exercise of our Vertues for Vices are the matters agaynst the which they worke and Vertues before proued Madnes seeyng the straunge effectes of phantasie wee must conclude that neither outwardlye nor inwardly there is ought els but Madnes but fantasie sayth some is natural trueth neither can be without perturbations trueth ney-worketh any thinge but after a perturbated manner fondlye truthe yet it is naturall that is graunted before I perceaue this mā is my friende go too go on Natura agit propter finem truth Nature doth al for some end And so doth fantasie likewyse for it is a singular good and a part of vs without the whiche we cannot be yet we esteeme not fantasie otherwyse then Madnes but whatsoeuer woorketh to ende is reason then fantasie ys reason for it worketh for ende but fantasie is Madnes as is before sayde therefore reason is Madnes and what is more worthye then reason and what is moore prayse worthy then Madnes which thing Democritus considering plucked out his eyes as I thinke and all to studye the better and trueth it ys that studye is Madnes for manye haue bene knowen to renne Madde of studie Qualis causa talis effectus Such as the cause is such is the effecte Thus Ab effectibus studye is proued Madnes moreouer where canne bee founde more anger then in heauen the firste moueable burleth so swiftly about from the Weast to the Easte that if the other circles striued not with contrarye motion from the Easte to the Weste he woulde enflame the whole world and set all a fire doth not Sol and Iupiter in coniunction and canckered slie Saturne or Venus or Mars and some suche Planettes in Domo 2.7 or 9. or such lyke conspyre the destruction of Man and Beast of hearbes and trees of all thinges vpon the earth and of the earth it selfe Reade the Prognosticatoures and yet I reade of three greate Eclipses that are like to be this yere there is the Eclipse of Faythe and the feare of god and that is to common and to bee lamented and deplored with teares marrye the twoo others Eclipses are not so soore albeit somewhat greeuous and they bee the Eclipse of the pot when good Ale is out of towne and the Eclips of the purse when Mayster Vsurer and Cuthrote lyue by the bargaine but to make retourne if anger bee so greate in Celestial bodies and planettes and that naturallye incidente and allowed shall wee not thinke well of Madnes if the lesse be reputed bee esteemed of shall not the greater the Philosopher coulde saye to his seruaunt if I were not throughlye angrye how woulde I tormente thee thus anger you see worketh pacience and forbearaunce whiche is a rare gift in a wyse man muche more then Madnes whiche is the verye extremitye of anger so then to bee a Mad man is to be a wise man and I thinke the philosopher was then Mad when he so sayd to his seruaunt for hee himselfe confesseth himselfe to be throughlye angred Cicero hath a Paradoxe well knowne 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 That all wyse men onelye bee free men and all fooles Bondslaues and demaundinge of himselfe what libertye is hee sayth it is nothing els but Potestas viuendi vt velis A power to liue as yee list And who liueth as he list doth the pore man who alwayes cōplayneth himselfe of his greeuous miserye and bewayleth to himselfe his most vnfortunate calamities doth the riche man who the more he hath the more desireth and yet feareth euerye houre to leese that hee hath dothe the Ideote who knoweth not howe to order his lyfe dooth the learned who repyneth alwayes at an others knowledge if no man therfore liue as hee list then is no man free if no man be free then is no man wyse for if this be true all wise menne are onelye free then is this as true al free mē are onely wyse but freedome and wisedome booth excluded the rest is nothinge but onelye folye so then all menne are fooles euen nexte dore to Madnes The wyse man speaketh verye notable Stultitiam simulare loco prudētia summa est To counterfaite folye in place is the higheste wisdome the sentence is moste wyse but Aristotles as good 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 it is better to bee thē to seme to be sayd notably as booth thought wyselye now in my mynde the greateste follye that maye be is Madnes whiche sithence it is the verye ende that all thinges shoote at muste needes be accompted the parfectest of al and I doubt not but sithence the wyse men haue sayde theyr myndes the one it is wysedome to counterfayte folye in place the other better to be then seeme but at the lest if the one haue any defendauntes the other shall haue al folowers and thus wee shal al be extreme fooles that is to saye Madmenne that is to say Wysemen wee shall haue Genus species toste in the scholes emonge the Logitioners Ad nauseam like a Tenise Bale we shall haue sometymes Boares fleshe Bul-beife lyke a royster sometimes cage ware cuckingstole hearbe grasse lyke a Scolde some tyme Marie Mawdlines beades and Mereticular teares and treable tonged language emonge the Rhetoritians to saye nothinge of heauen gasers Clocke keepers ayre meaters of a number such like whose ende of studie euerye manne knoweth to bee but Madnes yet are they wonderfully praised and extolled and I am one of them my selfe whiche so doe prayse theym because I knowe they are fooles in moste extreamitie and wil take paynes I truste to defend this litle treatise from the handes and teethe of nippers as proceding from a sincere mind and made of good will in the behalfe of theym all wherein if I haue taken suche paynes as I woulde haue wished then nature and arte then reason and vertue then wyse mē wysedome thē foles of al sortes wil giue their dewe prayse honoure to Madnes FINIS