not onely the manners but also the actions of the yonger sort accordingly For if an old man speake of the youth of these times he will tell you that it is no wonder to see so many mischiefes raging in the world and that we are not to looke for such golden dayes as he hath seene the world being cleane changed and turned vp side downe so that he can hardly remember what he hath seene And he will especially inuey and declaime against pompe and brauery in apparell and delicate faâ—e which he will affirme to be farre greater now then it was in times past and that it is the cause of the dearth and scarcitie we now see as also of many outrages and misdemeanours and that it maketh men more effeminate Nay they proceed sometime further in making the youth of those times petty Saints when they say as the author of the Courtier doth relate it with excellent good grace Io haueua vent ' anni che ancor dormiua con mia madre mie sorelle ne seppi iui à granâ—tempo che cosa fossero donne hora fanciulli non haÌ„no à pena asciutto il capo che sanno piu malitie che in que tempi non sappeano gli homini fatti That is I lay with my mother and sisters till I was twenty yeare old and knew not of a long time what manner of creature a woman was whereas children now scarce crept out of the cradle know mo knacks of knauery then men of yeares did in times past Now as old men exceed the bounds of truth by running so far into one extreme so shall we likewise if we deny that they had not reason to complaine of a bad change the world still declining from better to worse To conclude then we will easily graunt these gray beards that in their yonger yeares the world was not so wicked so that they yeeld to our greene heads that it was more rude and rustical and that it was not so wittie because it was not so wicked 2 But lest they should say that my tongue runneth at randon I will instance it by examples And because there is nothing which we make greater account of or iudge more necessary for our bodies then foode to nourish them and raiment to cloth them and therefore are not onely carefull but euen 〈…〉 prouiding such necessaries I wil enter discourse of them in the first placeâ—â—ouching the first therefore because I take it for a confessed truth that our ancestors neuer shewed themselues more curious in their diet then many countreyes at this day I shall desire the reader not to take it amisse if I compare some of their customes and fashions with those in vse at this present And first I will beginne with one which is so common and ordinary that children of tenne or twelue yeares of age may well remember it and if I shold say that it were yet practised in some places of France I should not it may be speake without my booke It is a foolish custome taken vp by certaine gentlemen who to the end they may cunningly deceiue and finely fetch ouer their seruants cause their table to be furnished at the first seruice with I know not what fryed fritters hotchpotches sippets sauces and gallymalfrayes and then with store of Mutton Veale and bouÌ„sing peeces of Beefe which peeces of Beefe they will rather feed vpon then vpon any other dish And after that the stomacke hath reuenged his quarrell vpon such grosse meates they serue in Capon Chicken Pigeon and wild foule Yet not all in one course for they keepe Partridge Phaysant and other dainties for the last seruice the stomacke being not onely satisfied but euen closed vp So that it is great pittie to see how the seruitors poore soules are glad to eate such meates as their stomackes were neuer accustomed vnto and to leaue their ordinary fare for their masters and mistresses I mean how they are to take the paines to eate the finer meates as wild foule and venaison and to leaue the grosser for them What then can the old man answer Laudator teÌ„poris acti se puero Or what can he say trow we to defend or excuse the rusticity of former times for in that I call those that vsed this seemely seruice but rude and rusticall I fauour them much And were it not that I am afraid I should be ouer troublesome I would gladly aske them yet another question touching Partridge such like foule viz. Whether those men had noses or not and if they had what noses they were when they could find no goodnesse in wild foule and venaison except it were tainted a litle that is to speake plaine English except it stunke a little this stincke seeming to them to be 〈…〉 of venaison 3 But now to proceed to the fashions of other countryes which haue bene perhaps practised alike by our ancestors as hath bene said Albeit then there be no French-man to be found at this day if he be of the right stamp and haue wherwith to maintain himself who hath so bad a tast but can put a difference between tender and tough flesh yet it were a wonder I had almost said a miracle to see a German who neuer trauailed abroad that either obserued or cared to obserue this difference For example Ne gallina malum responset dura palato as Horace speaketh that is lest the pullets flesh should be ouer tough and vnpleasant to the tast the Frenchman who hath no leasure to kill it a day or two before that it may wax tender of it selfe will haue twenty deuises besides those mentioned in Horace But when he shall leaue France his natiue countrey and come into Germanie he will not a little wonder to see a pullet or some cocke of the game for want of a better serued to the table which he had heard crowing in the court but halfe an houre before which shal be killed plumed and boiled al in the sodainnesse of an instant If our ancestors then not to speake of Germans haue done the like may we not truly say that they were very rude and rusticall Except some proctor shall haply plead for them and tell vs that their stomackes were hotter then ours so that they could disgest meate halfe raw as well as we can flesh thorowly rosted boiled or baked But Phisitians which liued in those dayes witnes the contrary This therefore may serue for an instance of cookerie or dressing of meates Let vs see another in the choise of them choice I say not of diuers sorts of meates but of the same kind And here doubtlesse we shall find many masters whom Galen might as wel laugh at as he did at those suiters which courted Penelope as Homer recordeth for eating the great villanous swine and leauing the yong pigs for their seruants For considering the common saying in euery mans mouth Yong flesh and old fish had not our auncestors small wit in comparison
fairest face lieth the foulest heart so oftē in the smoothest tale the smallest truth In a word that Stephens Apologie is nothing but a rhapsodie of fables of Friers deuised of his fingers and therefore the Translator had need to looke to his proofes But what writer should be innocent if such senslesse prating might passe for proofe They are therefore to know that the greatest sticklers are not alway the greatest strikers nor the loudest barkers the sorest biters We haue liued too long to be scared with such bugs And I doubt not but for all these crackes and brauadoes they wil take counsell of their pillow and perhaps stroke their beards fiue times as the Doctors of Sorbonne that disputed with Erasmus did ere they could bring out one wise word before they will disproue it For had it bin so easie a pil to haue bene swallowed we should haue heard of them long ere this considering they haue had it lying by them full fortie yeares and more But this is the matter if Stephen or any other orthodoxe writer trip neuer so little and mistake but the least circumstance they cry out by and by that they do nothing but belie them that they misreport their actions and falsifie their positions c. Wherein they deale like certaine theeues who robbing a true man and finding more money about him then he would be knowne of cried out of the falshood of the world that there was no truth to be found among men They may do well to looke a little nearer home where Walsingham one of their owne writers wil tell them that Friers in the raigne of King Richard the second were so famous or rather infamous for ther lying that it was held as good an argument to reason thus Hic est Frater ergo mendax He is a Fryer ergo a lyer as Hoc est album ergo coloratū This is white therefore coloured And that they haue not yet lost the whetstone nor left their old wont may appeare by those infinite leud lies which they haue published in their Legends Festiuals Breuiaries Specula Histor. Vitae Patrum Houres Offices Pies Portifories Portuises c. For whereas Mahomet left but 113. fables in his Alcoran they haue left more then so many thousand For hardly shall a man find a leafe I had almost said a line without a lie To giue a tast of some few What more common in their writings then such fables as these That Saint Denis the Areopagite tooke vp his head after it was striken off and caried it in his hand two miles That Saint Dunstane tooke the diuel by the nose with a paire of pincers as he looked in at a window and made him cry most pitifully That Saint Bernac turned oake leaues into loaues viz. by changing one letter stones into fishes water into wine and that he sailed ouer the sea vpon a stone as an hundred and fiftie of Ioseph of Arimath company did vpon his sons shirt and Frier Herueus vpō his mantle That Saint Nicholas while he lay in his cradle fasted Wednesdayes and Fridayes on which dayes he would neuer sucke aboue once That Saint Christopher pitched his staffe in the ground and forthwith it budded and brought forth leaues at the sight whereof eight thousand Pagans became Christians That Bishop Trian hauing killed his cow and his calfe to entertaine Saint Patricke and his companie the next morning both of them were seene feeding in the meadow That a sheepe being stolen and not restored to the owner as Saint Patricke had commaunded he caused it to bleate in the belly of him that had eaten it That Saint Briccius being but a boy saw the Diuel behind the Altar noting the misdemeanour of the people in a peece of parchment and that when he wanted parchment to write on he pulled it so hard with his teeth that the parchment rent and he knocked his head against the wall And that Saint Martin coniured him so that he caused him to blot out what he had written That when the Kings daughter of Silena cast her girdle about the Dragons necke as Saint George had commaunded her he followed her vp and downe like a gentle dogge That S. George being cast into a copperful of boiling lead by making the signe of the crosse was refreshed therein as if he had bin in a bath That Saint Goodrick that good Norfolke Saint ten yeares before his death saw clearly whatsoeuer was done within ten miles of him round about and that he often saw what euer was done in all the world That Saint Dominicks bookes being fallen into the riuer and lying there three dayes were found by a fisherman and taken vp as dry as a feather That Saint Romuald deliuered high points of diuinitie as soone as he was borne and presently after hee was baptized made a learned Sermon That Saint Christina spake when her tongue was cut out That Saint Margaret being swallowed by a Dragon had no sooner made the signe of the crosse but the Dragon burst asunder and out she came as sound as a trout That Syre Ambright Earle of Venice or of Vtopia whether you wil desirous to receiue the Sacrament and being not able to take it by reason of continuall casting layd it on his side vpō the place next his heart saying Lord thou knowest that I loue thee with all my heart I would faine receiue thee with my mouth if I durst but because I may not I lay thee on the place that is next my heart and hauing so said his side opened and when the host was gone in it closed againe That Beda's boy who led him vp and downe to preach because he was blind being disposed to play the knaue with him brought him into a valley full of great stones telling him that there were many there assembled to heare him and that when he had made his sermon and concluded with per omnia saecula saeculorum the stones answered aloud Amen venerabilis Pater which was one speciall reason why he was euer after called Venerable Bede That when Thomas Becket who neuer dranke any thing but water sate at table with Pope Alexander and that his Holinesse would needs tast of his cup lest his abstemiousnesse should be knowne God turned the water into wine so that the Pope found nothing but wine in the cup. But when Becket pledged him it was turned into water againe For it were halfe heresie to thinke notwithstanding the Pope found it to be wine that Thomas dranke any thing but water With these and infinite the like fables which a man would thinke should come rather from the wise men of Gotham of the posteritie of them that drowned the Eele then from any in their right wits do their pulpits dayly sound and their writings swell againe And therefore if you do not beleeue them take heede you be not burnt for an hereticke
thing that our kind Catholickes are not it seemes of this opinion considering what small conscience they make hereof The like I may say of those who were wont to lodge Nuns neare vnto Monkes that as good fellows speake the barne might be neare the thrashers How euer it be it appeareth plainly by that which hath bene alledged out of Pontanus that Nunneries were little better then stewes in the time of the former Preachers Touching the sinne against nature of which I speake remembring my former protestation we haue examples euen of those times For the foresaid Pontanus writeth of a Brittan who had the companie of an Asse whilest the French King Charles the eight held Naples It were also easie to alledge moderne examples of wiues murthering their husbands and husbands ther wiues as also of brethren and nearest kinsmen embrewing their hands in one anothers bloud and of children murthering their parents and parents their children though this be more rare then the former When husbands murther their wiues or wiues their husbands they do it for the most part of spite or rather rage and madnesse caused by breach of wedlocke For as histories make mention of diuers men who at the very instant and in ipso facto as we say haue taken reuenge of their wiues who had played false with them So they make report of women who for the same reason haue wreaked their malice vpon their husbands some by poison others by other meanes as we reade in Baptista Fulgosius of a woman neare to Narbonne who in the night cut off her husbands priuities because he had defiled the marriage bed Notwithstanding the occasion of some murthers proceeds from both parties desiring to enioy their vnlawfull lusts with greater libertie The cause of fratricide or murthers committed by one brother vpon another arise for the most part from hence in that they cannot agree whether of them should remaine absolute Lord and so are enforced to decide their right by dint of sword whereof we haue very auncient examples in the two Theban brethren Eteocles and Polynices in Rhemus and Romulus in Artaxerxes and Cyrus and in the age last past wherewith I compare the present there was such hot bickering at Tunis in Africa betweene two brethren for the crowne that they did not only kill one another in the quarrel but also massacred their children and ofspring as Pontanus testifieth But histories affoord vs moe examples of such as haue murthered their brethren vpon light occasions by treason or otherwise when once they had them on the hip especially of Italians as Volaterran reporteth of Anthonie Câ—â—signore who slue Bartholmew his brother to the end he might enioy the Dukedome of Verona which was deuided betweene them by their fathers will In like manner how one Pinus Ordelaphus vpon the like occasion slue his brother Francis and banished his children As also how Francis and Lewis sonne of Guido Gonzagua Duke of Mantua slue their brother Vgolin pretending to make good cheare at a supper to which they had inuited him because their father had left him sole heire of the Dukedome Moreouer we reade of one Perinus Fregosa Duke of Genoua who slue his brother Nicholas hauing him in iealousie that he aspired to the Dukedome In like sort Lewis Marie put Galeace his brothers sonne to death to the end he might the more quietly enioy the Dukedome of Millaine Touching murthering of parents properly called parricide though the signification of the word be somewhat more large we find in auncient histories that it was more ordinary with Kings Princes and great Lords then with meaner men and so it continues euen to this day For the Emperour Fredericke the third was slaine by his owne sonne Manfred his base sonne as some affirme at leastwise he was the plotter and procurer of his death And one Frisque murthered his father the duke of Ferrara to the end he might come to the Dukedome as indeed he did though he enioyed it not long for his subiects shortly after executing Gods iust iudgement vpon him cut his throate And doubtlesse the age last part can neuer wash it hands of this wickednesse albeit I produce no examples for confirmation hereof hastening to end such discourses as should not onely be offensiue to Christian eares but also make their very haires stand vpright on their heads What say I Christians Nay the very heathen also yea the most barbarous and sauage among them CHAP. XI That the notorious and incredible leudnesse of these times doth iustifie that which hath bene spoken of the wickednesse and impietie of the Age last past ALbeit there go strange reports of the hainous and horrible sinnes which raigned in the former Age yet if we shall but a little consider the course of the world and listen to the common complaints we shall find would to God it were not so far fouler facts which will not onely induce vs to subscribe to the truth of that report but further to confesse that the sinnes of those times were but sugar as it is in the French prouerbe in comparison of the villanies of these wherein we liue I haue heretofore giuen a reason why sinne like a riuer the further it goes the greater it growes and still increaseth till it come to be a great sea But we may giue one more speciall touching these times For besides that we haue trod in the steps of our ancestors and followed their examples as well in the carefull keeping of the vices whereof they left vs their heires and successors as in improuing the old and purchasing of the new by our good husbandry we haue further increased the number of them by our trafficke and commerce with other countries a thing more common at this day then euer it was in former times to whom an hundred miles seemed longer then fiue hundred to vs and for one that was curious to know the fashions of forreine countries there are now a dayes ten whom this gadding humour of rouing and ranging abroad and coasting countries carieth away causing them to giue a farewell to their friends and to forsake their dearest countrey kinsmen and acquaintance But what fruite reape they by such trauell at leastwise what do the most reape It was Horace his old song Coelum non animum mutant qui trans mare currunt That is They change the aire that seas do passe But mind remaines the same that was But if in crossing the sea they haply change their mind it is but as the weather-cocke doth with the wind for they are so farre from being bettered by their trauell that they are made much worse mending their manners no otherwise then sower Ale doth in sommer The reason whereof is mans inbred corruption which hath an attractiue facultie to draw vice vnto it as Amber doth a straw or the loadstone iron Whence it is that as ill weed according to the old prouerbe growes with speed so vice hath his continuall though insensible growth in vs
For if saith he it so fall out that a woman be forced against her will yet her husband will entertaine her as kindly and loue her as dearely as before so long as her loue towards him is hartie and entire Which saying of his agreeth wel with my former assertiō that there is no better gardian of a womans chastity then her loue to her husband Now this point I was the more willing to handle as a cordiall for chast and modest matrons that if they chance either by fury of the warres or insolencie of the conquerours to fall into the like inconuenience with Lucretia they should not despaire as she did but rather remember that which hath bene said and make vse thereof lest otherwise they runne from one mischiefe into another casting the helue after the hatchet as it is in the French prouerbe Of which desperate courses we haue dayly examples some whereof as they come to my mind shall be recorded in the Chapter of murthers 23 But for one that taketh the matter so to heart that she stands in neede of such aduertisements there are I feare me an hundred who had neede of other manner of admonitions to put them in mind how straight the band of matrimonie is and to withdraw them from the detestable opinion of the Philosopher who labouring by all meanes to confound the order of nature hartened on women by the example of an house which is not a pin the worse for lodging other guests and inmates beside the owner Epictetus also whom with Musonius I take to be the honestest of all the Philosophers saith that women in his time defended themselues and their sweet doings with the saying of Plato in his Politickes That women ought to be common and therefore they had this booke continually in their hands Wherein though Plato did much ouer-shoote himselfe yet it was the least part of his meaning his words should be wrested to this sence or haue this construction set vpon them which these modest matrons made thereof to defend themselues and iustifie their dealing in the darke For he said not that women were to plight their troth to their husbands that so they might keepe open house for all comers but he aimed at another marke which though it be not warrantable no not in the iudgement of the very heathen yet thus much I dare say that it is farre more tollerable then the long taile of mischieues and inconueniences which adultery draweth after it How euer it be we may plainly perceiue by the testimonie which Epictetus giueth of the Romane Ladies in his time that they tooke no such great delight in reading the history of Lucretia for if they had questionlesse they would neuer haue pleased themselues so much in reading Platoes Politickes especially those places where such sweete sayings are recorded And though women at this day haue not Platoes workes it skilleth not seeing they can say their lesson well enough without booke Wherein I report my selfe to the dames of Paris and to them rather then to any of our good gossips not because it is the city wherein my selfe was borne but for that the praise of all subtil sleights possible to be inuented whereby they cuckolize and hornifie their husbands sore God knowes against their wils doth properly belong vnto them in the opinion of all vpright conscionable and indifferent iudges Which commendation he gaue them who being told that the time would come when he should weare hornes as well as his neighbours and be mocked as kindly as he had mocked others said he knew a good remedie for it And being intreated to shew what preseruatiue he had in store against such cuckolizing answered That he would neuer marry in Paris insinuating that there was no place in the world where this inconuenience might worse be auoided For my part if I were to speake my conscience herein as he said that he loued Plato well but loued truth better so hauing made this protestation that I preferre the truth before my natiue countrey I must needs confesse that though I haue trauelled through diuers countries and soiourned there no small time yet was I neuer in place where cuckolds are better cheape or to speak more properly where they may be made better cheape then at Paris Some cuckolds are glad they haue such hornes thinking themselues the better for them others who are not yet come to this preferment watch oportunitie to clime thereunto A third sort are mal-content with their heauie heads but alas poore soules there is no remedie but patience for if they complaine of their wiues neuer so little they shall be sure not onely to weare longer and larger in spite of their teeth but in stead of pulling them in and hiding them shall be made to shew them to the world as we see in the example of certaine kind cuckolds mentioned before who commencing sute against their wiues for such dalliance and double dealing got nothing but their paines for their labour viz. to be pointed at euen by little children who could say these are they who caused themselues to be registred for cuckolds by the sentence of the Court. By which we may see what difference there is betweene this and former ages when as Xenophon witnesseth the law was so strict against adulterers that they only of all delinquents were to die the death But leauing the histories of former times we see how men are permitted in many places of Italy in such a case to do execution vpon their wiues without other forme of iustice And I remember that during mine abode at Naples shortly after the beginning of the warre of Siena a certaine Forussite being secretly entred into the citie killed his wife whom he tooke at vnawares in the fact And it was told me some few dayes after that he was not onely acquit and cleared by the Court but that the magistrates were about to enact a law that all Forussites who stealing priuily into the citie could performe the like iustice in doing execution vpon their adulterous wiues should not onely be exempt from punishment but also redeeme their banishment Yet I cannot iustly say that it was so concluded but sure I am that I heard it spoken by one of their chiefest counsellers shortly after the death of their Viceroy And though we had no other story but that of the Sicilian Euensong it were sufficient to shew that cuckolds were then made dog cheape But I feare me all that I can say herein will be but so many waste words spoken in the wind especiallly being directed to those who relie so much vpon the noddy like simplicitie and cuckold-like bountie of their trim husbands For doubtlesse there are a number at this day cosin-germans to that wittall who suspecting that his wife plaid the wanton in his absence came vpon a time and tooke her at vnawares in the fact and seeing his lieutenants shoes standing by the bed side See said he a plaine proofe hereof
their eies opened to see such abuses ought to consider what the Greek prouerb saith of such speeches that Often when the tongue trippeth it telleth the truth For considering the abuse therein coÌ„mitted were it not better to deny Christ then to make him such a morrice dancer in a May-game An example of this tripping we haue in him who said to a Priest Come and say Masse in an hundred thousand diuels names for my maister is angry Another Masse-monging gentleman of Lorraine being angry with his sonne who was a Masse-maligner said vnto him Get you to Masse in the diuels name to Masse Whereof his sonne tooke aduantage acknowledging that his father spake truer then he was aware But to returne to our blasphemers we find that the Vicars aforesaid made no conscience to appropriate and apply to themselues some in earnest others in sport those texts of Scripture wherein he whose vicars they pretend themselues to be speaketh of himselfe Alexander the fift lying on his death bed vsed the same words to those that stood about him that Christ did to his Apostles My peace I giue vnto you my peace I leaue with you And Pope Paul the third knew how to apply the words of Saint Paul I would wish my selfe separate from Christ for my brethren which are my kinsmen according to the flesh For being told vpon a time by certaine Cardinals in open Consistory that he could not giue Parma and Playsâ—nce to his bastards except he would damne himselfe he answered them in this sort If Saint Paul bare so tender an affection to his countrymen whom he calleth his brethren that he desired to be separate from Christ to the end they might be saued why should not I beare so tender an affection to my sonnes and nephewes as to labour to make them great with the hazard of mine owne saluation As for the speech of Pope Leo the tenth it suteth better with the atheist call speech of the gallant who said Weepe not for perhaps it is not true For when Cardinall Bembus alleadged a certaine place out of the new Testament he answered him in this sort O what wealth haue we gotten by this fable of Christ of which blasphemy not only this Pope but the greatest part of his puâ—-fellows are guilty in the highest degree if we may iudge of the tree by his fruites 4 There are also sundry other blasphemies vttered by these Sir Iohns as well in their disputations as in their sermons and writings of which I will here alleadge some few examples A popish Prelate disputing on a time against certaine his aduersaries said he wondred that they vnderstood not a text in the new Testament very pregnant to stop the mouthes of the Lutherans in the matter of Iustification by faith onely For marke said he when the Apostles were on the sea in a smâ—ll ship tossed with the wind Saint Peter being a Lutheran and belâ—euing that his bâ—â—e â—aith was able to saue him said vnto Christ Bid me come vnto thee vpon the waters And he hauing bidden him come leapt into the sea with his naked fâ—ith and hardly escaped drowning Nay he had bin drowned out of question if Christ had not miraculously assisted him and pulled him into the ship causing him to returne to his worke againe viz. to his rowing Now then let these fellows who rely so much vpon their faith go and drowne with S. Peter if they wil. For my part I am not determined to forsake the smal vessel but to abide in it rowing at one oaâ—e or other still labouring and exercising my selfe in good workes If we had no other example this alone were sufficient to shew how these Sir Iohns dallied with the Scriptures Howbeit there are infinite like to be found Among which that of a Popish Prelate is very common who was not ashamed to say that Saint Paul spake many things which he might well haue concealed and that if he had considered the offence which might haue bin taken thereat he would haue bin better aduised before he had spoken them But what greater blasphemies could all the diuels in hell deuise and forge then those which we reade in the booke of Conformities printed at Millan by one Gotard Pontice in the yeare 1510. and after that in other places where sundry things are recorded more like dreames and dotages then true stories For though the world in old time was maruailously blinded as we know in such sort that a man would haue thought they had through the iust iudgment of God shut their eyes that they might not see the truth yet was it nothing to the blindnesse of those blind bayards who published the book of Conformities containing such horrible hideous and hellish blasphemies that it is almost incredible there should any be found so gracelesse as once durst breathe or belch them out For proofe whereof consider these particulars Christ was transfigured but once S. Francis twenty times Christ changed water into wine but once S. Francis did it thrise Christ felt the paine of his wounds but a short time S. Francis felt the paine of his for the space of two yeares together And as for miracles as giuing sight to the blind restoring limmes to the lame casting diuels out of men possessed and raising the dead Christ hath done nothing in comparison of S. Francis and his brethren For they haue giuen sight to aboue a thousand blind they haue made aboue a thousand lame to walke as well men as beasts they haue cast diuels out of mo then a thousand demoniacks and haue raised aboue a thousand from death to life Is it possible that a man should heare these false Friers teach and preach such stuffe as this without spitting in their faces what say I without spitting in their faces nay without tearing them in peeces True it is indeed they durst not say in plaine termes that Christ was not worthy to wipe S. Francis his shoes for they are content to say that â—e excelled the Apostles the Saints and the Angels But hauing confidently auouched that his miracles did infinitely surpasse Christs miracles they thought there was none so simple but could easily inferre the conclusion though he had neuer studied the principles of Logicke But I shall desire thee gentle Reader to lend thy patient eare to other sayings in this booke Fol. 5. of the foresaid impression Beata Maria vt Franciscus mitteretur in mundum Patri supplicauit Item Maria Francisci precibus indulgentiam pro peccatoribus in Ecclesiae Sanctae Mariae de Portiuncula impetrauit that is The virgin Mary prayed to God the Father that he would send Saint Francis into the world and by his intercession obtained pardon for sinners in the Church of Saint Mary de Portiuncula But herein consisteth the very quintessence of impudency in that they make the Scripture to come at their whistle and serue their diuellish legendary lies which they haue coyned of their S. Francis As when they
fraught and farced with diuellish doctrine flat contrary to that of the Apostles nay with such fables as Christian eares can no more endure to heare then the fictions and fooleries of Mahomets Alcoran Neither is it of late time that he vsed this deuice to shake and as much as in him lay to ouerturne and ruinate the very foundations of our religion for many yeares ago he vented abroad Euangelium Nicodemi Euangelium Thomae Euangelium Bartholomaei Euangelium Nazaraeorum Librum Pastoris and such like albeit he laboureth now afresh to the vttermost of his power to infect the world with the stench of them againe Whereof he hath giuen a pregnant proofe in a damnable booke intituled Proteuangelion siâ—e de natalibus Iesu Christi matris ipsius virginis Mariae For the better authorizing whereof he hath fathered it vpon S. Iames calling him cosin-german and brother to Christ. But what containes it may we thinke Verily such sweet stuffe as this how Anne the virgin Maries mother and wife to Ioachim makes her mone to God in regard of her barrennesse affirming that he dealt worse with her then with any other creature worse then with the very elements the water and the earth which brought forth fishes herbes and plants But first she alleadgeth the example of the birds which she remembred by seeing a sparrowes nest in a Lawrell tree vnder which she sate and she had no sooner ended her complaint but an Angell tooke his flight towards her for it is expresly said aduolauit and said vnto her O Anne God hath heard thy prayer thou shalt conceiue and beare a child and shalt be famous through the world WherupoÌ„ she vowed to dedicate her child to God whether it were male or female The Angell hauing done his message brought the same newes to Ioseph her husband who would not beleeue it till he was by miracle confirmed in the truth of the Angels report To be short at the end of nine moneths she was deliuered of the virgin Mary and according to her vow presented her to God when she was but three yeares old where she was receiued with many ceremonies by the high priest who propheâ—ied that mankind by her should be redeemed It is further said that he set her vpon the third step of the Altar where as she stood through Gods goodnesse she began to dance trimly And this she did to winne the loue and liking of the Israelites Now here it is to be noted that during the time of her abode in the Temple she was fed like a doue receiuing her viands from the hand of the Angell But when she was twelue yeares of age the Scribes assembled and consulted what course they should take with her being now come to those yeares that the sanctified of the Lord might not be polluted Meane time Zachary the high priest had a reuelation as he was praying that he should assemble all widowers in towne and country and that each man should bring a rod with him that she might be committed to his care and custody whom God should chuse by miracle All which being done accordingly a doue came out of Iosephs rod and light vpon his head whereupon the high Priest said God hath hereby manifested that it is his wil and pleasure thou shouldest haue the custody of this holy virgin But Ioseph refused saying I haue a great charge and now am old and she but yong therefore I feare me the children of Israel would laugh me to scorne if I should take her to wife But when he heard of the fearfull iudgements of God which befell Core Dathan and Abyram being greatly moued therewith he said Mary I take thee here from the Temple of the Lord howbeit I wil leaue thee at my house and returne to my Carpenters occupation and I beseech God blesse and preserue thee now and euer Now certain yeares after as she went with a pitcher to draw water she heard a voice from heaueÌ„ saying vnto her Aue gratia plena c. Afterwards are inserted certain sentences takeÌ„ out of the Gospel and in the end it is added how that being now 16. yeares of age and great with child as hauing gone six moneths Ioseph returning from his worke wherein he had employed himselfe for certaine yeares comming not home so much as once in all that time and finding her great with child was much amated And as he was communing with her about sundry things an Angell appeared vnto him and certified him of all these proceedings But it was great pitie that a Scribe who came to speak with Ioseph perceiuing Mary to be with child should make towne and country ring of it againe in such sort that they were forthwith apprehended and brought before the high Priest where when Ioseph affirmed that he neuer vsed fleshly familiaritie with her and she againe protested that she neuer had carnal company with him nor with any other man he caused them to drinke the water of Iealousie which when they had drunke and felt no inconuenience he said that seeing God would not detect them he would not be the man that should condemne them After follow the words of S. Luke chap. 2. how that Ioseph was of necessitie to bring her to Bethlem by reason of the royall commaundement which came from Augustus Caesar but it is not done without a lie for the whetstone and vsing such villanous speeches as these That when Mary said to Ioseph Depone me ab asina quia quod in me est me vrget vt progrediatur he tooke her downe and said vnto her vbi te inducam vt tegam pudenda quia locus desertus est Lastly it is said that she was brought in bed in a caue neare Bethlem sauing the credit of S. Luke who writeth otherwise and that Ioseph found a midwife by great good lucke who met with another afterwards called Salome who not beleeuing that a virgin could haue a child came to take triall thereof But I had neede of a brow of brasse a face of flint the like bebauched impudency that the author of this story had if I should set it downe in English I will therefore content my selfe with the Latin here ensuing Exiitque obstetrix ex spelunca obuiauit illi Salome dixit obstetrix ipsi Salome magnum tibi spectaculum habeo narrare virgo genuit quem non capit natura ipsius virgo manet virgo dixitque Salome viuit Dominus Deus meus nisi scrutata fuero naturam eius non credam quòd peperit Et ingrediens obstetrix dixit ipsi Mariae Reclina teipsam magnum enim tibi certamen incumbit Quum autem in ipso loco palpauit eam Salome egressa est dicens Vae mihi impiae perfidae quoniam tentaui DeuÌ„ viuentâ—m Et ecce manus mea igne ardens cadit à me Et flexit genua ad Deum ait Deus c. 3 But to leaue the rest to those steele stomackes that can
of the same author but with accustomable lyes common and ordinary with these false Fryers For which cause I would not omit them 26 And thus thou seest gentle Reader how their false miracles haue bene discouered and laid open to the sight of the Sunne as well as their other trumperies But as blind Bartimaeus saw no more in the cleare Sunne-shine then in a gloomy day nor at noone-day then at mid-night so we are to thinke that the silly seduced world had so lost the vse of reason was become so sottish and senslesse so blind and brutish in matters of religion that none of these grosse abuses though committed before their eyes were once perceiued by them For it is well knowne how the heady multitude would breake forth into plaine murmuring and mutinie against those that durst say that that which they held to be a miracle was but a iuggling tricke of a quacksaluing mountebanke albeit it had bene discouered by the Magistrate of the place Nay they haue growne to harder termes euen to breake open the prison doores where these companions were kept in hold yea after the knauery was detected And here we are to remember that which I touched before how that that which should haue serued them as a crystall wherein they might haue seene their cunning conueyance was so handled by them that it was a meanes to keepe them still in their former darknesse And as they were as blind as beetles so were they as deafe as dore nailes for we know what a siluer trumpet Martin Luther was to say nothing of Wickleffe Iohn Hus Ierome of Prague and the like his predecessours and yet the shrill sound thereof spent it selfe and vanished away in the ayre and was neuer able to pierce their eares of a long time they were so thicke of hearing But in the end the Lord who had sent this his trumpeter charmed these deafe adders in such sort that he caused them to lend their patient eare But how may some say could churchmen maintaine theÌ„selues since the sounding of this alarme especially since the coming of Antichrist was proclaimed through the world and that little children could see their knaueries and touch them as it were with their fingers For answer whereunto let posteritie know how euer they may wonder to heare it that they haue kept their kitchins hot and fed themselues fat by other meanes For when they perceiued that the truth of God made open warre against them and that it got ground of them by little and little winning from them now one peece now another they shewed themselues no lesse cruell and currish fell and furious against those that stood in defence thereof if once they fell into their clouches then the Lion or Tygre nay then the Lionesse doth against those that rob her of her whelpes as shall be declared in the Chapter following CHAP. XL. Wherein is declared how that after posteritie shall haue wondered at the long continued folly of Popish practises and abuses it wil further wonder how the open discouering of them should haue cost so many men their liues who were persecuted by the Cleargie and will iudge this story no lesse strange then sundry recorded by Herodotus IN the time of our Ancestors whilest the folly of the former abuses was in the ruffe the Cleargie not content to be reuerenced and adored of the poore people to haue their purses at command when they thought good and to terrifie them with their excommunications came to this passe euen to set their feete in their neckes not as it is commonly said by a figuratiue speech but really and indeed Nay one of their Popes was not ashamed to set his foote in the Emperours necke For it is a knowne and famous history neither hath it bin forgotten by those that haue written the liues of Popes how that Alexander the third hauing commanded the Emperour Fredericke to prostrate himselfe and aske him pardon for his offence before a multitude of people in Saint Marks Church at Venice the Emperour at his commaund kneeled downe whereupon this gentle Pope setting his foote vpon his throte or as some say in his neck said It is written thou shalt walk vpon the Aspe and the Basiliske the yong Lion and the Dragon shalt thou tread vnder thy feete The Emperour highly offended at this so great contempt and outrage answered I do not this to thee but to Saint Peter Then he treading vpon him the second time said â—oth to me and to Saint Peter Now here it is to be noted that the chiefe cause of this Emperours coming was that he might be absolued from the Popes excommunication Further we reade how that the Venetians sent an Embassadour to Pope Clement the fift called Francis Dandalus to intreate for absolution from the Popes excommunication for he had excommunicated them againe and againe and cursed them with bell booke and candle and not content to thunder out all sorts of Ecclesiasticall censures had caused the Croysado to be published against them in Italy But he refused to absolue them till that the Embassadour in way of honorable satisfaction had put a dogges coller about his necke and therewith had crept vpon all foure the length of the great hall in the pallace of Auinion for which fact he was euer after at Venice called dog The said Pope walking vpon a time through the citie of Bogenci vpon the riuer Loyre in great pomp had amongst others for his attendants or rather seruing-men and lackeys the King of England and the King of France one vpon his right hand and another on his left one of them leading his horse by the bridle We reade also how the foresaid Emperour Fredericke attended vpon Pope Adrian the fourth this mans predecessor like a blew-coate at least that he held him the stirrop when he lighted off his horse by the same token that in lieu of this so great humility he got nothing but a frumpe for his labour and that by the Pope himselfe for holding the left stirrop in stead of the right With which flout the Emperour being somwhat moued said I was neuer brought vp in such a trade and thou art the first on whom I haue thus attended And what arrogant speeches vsed Boniface the eight to King Philip the faire when he made no bones to tell him that by reason of his disobedience and contumacy the kingdome of France was fallen into the lapse and deuolued to the Church of Rome The said Pope hauing his sword by his side was not ashamed to brag and boast of himselfe hauing refused now the third time to giue to Albert Duke of Austria the title of Emperour of Germany that himselfe forsooth was Emperour and Lord of all the world 2 And sutable to that which hath bene said of the excommunication of Fredericke the Emperour by Pope Alexander the third that is to be noted which Machiauel saith that Popes become great by three things by excommunications by pardons by weapons