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ID Title Author Corrected Date of Publication (TCP Date of Publication) STC Words Pages
A50799 Two new playes ... written by Tho. Middleton, Gent. Middleton, Thomas, d. 1627. 1657 (1657) Wing M1989; ESTC R16830 103,962 222

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Those two are nev'r asunder they 've been heard In Argument at midnight Moon-shine nights Are Noon days with them they walk out their sleeps Or rather at those hours appear like those That walk in 'em for so they did to me Look you I told you truth they 're like a chain Draw but one link all follows Enter Hippolito and Isabella the Neece Guard Oh affinity What peece of excellent workmanship art thou 'T is work clean wrought for there 's no lust but love in 't And that abundantly when in stranger things There is no love at all but what lust brings Fab. On with your Mask for 't is your part to see now And not be seen Go too make use of your time See what you mean to like nay and I charge you Like what you see Do you hear me there 's no dallying The Gentleman 's almost twenty and 't is time He were getting lawful heirs and you a breeding on 'em Neece Good Father Fab. Tell not me of tongues and rumors You 'll say the Gentleman is somewhat simple The better for a husband were you wise For those that marry fools live Ladies lives On with the Mask I 'll hear no more he 's rich The fool 's hid under Bushels Liv. Not so hid neither But here 's a foul great peece of him methinks What will he be when he comes altogether Enter the Ward with a Trap-stick and Sordido his man Ward Beat him I beat him out o' th' field with his own Cat-stick Yet gave him the first hand Sord. Oh strange Ward I did it Then he set Jacks on me Sord. What my Ladies Tailor Ward I and I beat him too Sord. Nay that 's no wonder He 's us'd to beating Ward Nay I tickel'd him When I came once to my tippings Sord. Now you talk on 'em There was a Poulterers wife made a great complaint of you last night to your Gardianer that you struck a bump in her childes head as big as an Egg Ward An Egg may prove a Chicken then in time the Poulterers wife will get by 't When I am in game I am furious came my Mothers eyes in my way I would not lose a fair end No were she alive but with one tooth in her head I should venture the striking out of that I think of no body when I am in play I am so earnest Coads-me my Gardianer Prethee lay up my Cat and Cat-stick safe Sord. Where Sir i' th' Chimney-corner Ward Chimney Corner Sord. Yes Sir your Cats are always safe i' th' Chimney Corner Unless they burn their Coats Ward Marry that I am afraid on Sord. Why then I will bestow your Cat i' th' Gutter And there she 's safe I am sure Ward If I but live To keep a house I 'll make thee a great man If meat and drink can do 't I can stoop gallantly And pitch out when I list I 'm dog at a hole I mar'l my Guardianer do's not seek a wife for me I protest I 'll have a bout with the Maids else Or contract my self at midnight to the Larder-woman In presence of a Fool or a Sack-posset Guard Ward Ward I feel my self after any exercise Horribly prone Let me but ride I 'm lusty A Cock-horse straight y'faith Guard Why Ward I say Ward I 'll forswear eating Eggs in Moon-shine nights There 's nev'r a one I eat but turns into a Cock In four and twenty hours if my hot blood Be not took down in time sure 't will crow shortly Guard Do you hear Sir follow me I must new School you Ward School me I scorn that now I am past schooling I am not so base to learn to write and read I was born to better fortunes in my Cradle Exit Fab. How do you like him Girl this is your husband Like him or like him not wench you shall have him And you shall love him Liv. Oh soft there Brother though you be a Justice Your Warrant cannot be serv'd out of your liberty You may compel out of the power of Father Things meerly harsh to a Maids flesh and blood But when you come to love there the soil alters Y' are in an other Country where your Laws Are no more set by then the cacklings Of Geese in Romes great Capitol Fab. Marry him she shall then Let her agree upon love afterwards Exit Liv. You speak now Brother like an honest mortal That walks upon th' earth with a staff You were up i' th' Clouds before you 'ld command love And so do most old folks that go without it My best and dearest Brother I could dwell here There is not such another seat on earth Where all good parts better express themselves Hip. You 'll make me blush anon Liv. 'T is but like saying grace before a Feast then And that 's most comely thou art all a Feast And she that has thee a most happy guest Prethee chear up that Neece with special Counsel Hip. I would 't were fit to speak to her what I would but 'T was not a thing ordain'd Heaven has forbid it And 't is most meet that I should rather perish Then the Decree Divine receive least blemish Feed inward you my sorrows make no noise Consume me silent let me be stark dead Ere the world know I 'm sick You see my honesty If you befriend me so Neece Marry a Fool Can there be greater misery to a woman That means to keep her days true to her husband And know no other man so vertue wills it Why how can I obey and honor him But I must needs commit Idolatry A Fool is but the Image of a man And that but ill made neither Oh the heart-breakings Of miserable Maids where love 's inforc'd The best condition is but bad enough When women have their choices commonly They do but buy their thraldoms and bring great portions To men to keep 'em in subjection As if a fearful prisoner should bribe The Keeper to be good to him yet lies in still And glad of a good usage a good look Sometimes by 'r Lady no misery surmounts a womans Men buy their slaves but women buy their masters Yet honesty and love makes all this happy And next to Angels the most blest estate That Providence that h 'as made ev'ry poyson Good for some use and sets four warring Elements At peace in man can make a harmony In things that are most strange to humane reason Oh but this marriage What are you sad too Uncle Faith then there 's a whole houshold down together Where shall I go to seek my comfort now When my best friend 's distressed what is 't afflicts you Sir Hip. Faith nothing but one grief that will not leave me And now 't is welcome ev'ry man has something To bring him to his end and this will serve Joyn'd with your fathers cruelty to you That helps it forward Neece Oh be cheer'd sweet Uncle How long has't been upon you I nev'r spi'd it What a
her own she 'll eat the less Verjuyce with her Mutton 't will save Verjuyce at years end Sir Ward Nay and your jests begin to be sawcy once I 'll make you eat your meat without Mustard Sord. And that in some kinde is a punishment Ward Gentlewoman they say 't is your pleasure to be my wife and you shall know shortly whether it be mine or no to be your husband and thereupon thus I first enter upon you Oh most delicious scent Methinks it tasted as if a man had stept into a Comfit-makers shop to let a Cart go by all the while I kiss'd her It is reported Gentlewoman you 'll run mad for me if you have me not Isab. I should be in great danger of my wits Sir For being so forward should this Ass kick backward now Ward Alass poor Soul And is that hair your own Isab. Mine own yes sure Sir I ow nothing for 't Ward 'T is a good hearing I shall have the less to pay when I have married you Look does her eyes stand well Sord. They cannot stand better Then in her head I think where would you have them And for her Nose 't is of a very good last Ward I have known as good as that has not lasted a year though Sord. That 's in the using of a thing will not any strong bridge fall down in time if we do nothing but beat at the bottom A Nose of Buff would not last always Sir especially if it came in to th' Camp once Ward But Sordido how shall we do to make her laugh that I may see what Teeth she has for I 'll not bate her a tooth nor take a black one into th' bargain Sord. Why do but you fall in talk with her you cannot chuse but one time or other make her laugh Sir Ward It shall go hard but I will Pray what qualities have you beside singing and dancing can you play at Shittlecock forsooth Isab. I and at Stool-ball too Sir I have great luck at it Ward Why can you catch a Ball well Isab. I have catcht two in my lap at one game Ward What have you woman I must have you learn To play at trap too then y' are full and whole Isab. Any thing that you please to bring me up too I shall take pains to practise Ward 'T will not do Sordido we shall never get her mouth open'd wide enough Sord. No Sir that 's strange then here 's a trick for your learning He yawns Look now look now quick quick there Ward Pox of that scurvy mannerly trick with Handkercheif It hindred me a little but I am satisfied When a fair woman gapes and stops her mouth so It shows like a Cloth-stopple in a Cream-pot I have fair hope of her Teeth now Sordido Sord. Why then y'have all well Sir for ought I see She 's right and straight enough now as she stands They 'll commonly lie crooked that 's no matter Wise Gamesters Never finde fault with that let 'em lie still so Ward I 'ld fain mark how she goes and then I have all For of all creatures I cannot abide a splay-footed Woman she 's an unlucky thing to meet in a morning her heels keep together so as if she were beginning an Irish dance still and he wrigling of her Bum playing the tune to 't But I have bethought a cleanly shift to finde it dab down as you see me and peep of one side when her back 's toward you I 'll shew you the way Sord. And you shall finde me apt enough to peeping I have been one of them has seen mad sights Under your Scaffolds Ward Will it please you walk forsooth A turn or two by your self you are so pleasing to me I take delight to view you on both sides Isab. I shall be glad to fetch a walk to your love Sir 'T will get Affection a good stomach Sir Which I had need have to fall to such course victuals Ward Now go thy ways for a clean treading Wench As ever man in modesty peep 't under Sord. I see the sweetest sight to please my Master Never went Frenchman righter upon ropes Then she on Florentine rushes Ward 'T is enough forsooth Isab. And how do you like me now Sir Ward Faith so well I never mean to part with thee Sweet-heart Under some sixteen children and all Boys Isab. You 'll be at simple pains if you prove kinde And breed 'em all in your teeth Ward Nay by my Faith what serves your belly for 't would make my cheeks look like blown Bag-pipes Enter Guardiano Guard How now Ward and Nephew Gentlewoman and Neece speak is it so or not Ward 'T is so we are both agreed Sir Guard: Into your kinred then There 's friends and Wine and Musick waits to welcome you Ward Then I 'll be drunk for joy Sord. And I for company I cannot break my Nose in a better action Exeunt Act. 4. Scaen. 1. Enter Brancha attended by two Ladies Bran. HOw goes your Watches Ladies what 's a clock now 1 Lady By mine full nine 2 Lady By mine a quarter past 1 Lady I set mine by St. Marks 2 Lady St. Anthonies they say goes truer 1 Lady That 's but your opinion Madam Because you love a Gentleman o' th' name 2 Lady He 's a true Gentleman then 1 Lady So may he be That comes to me to night for ought you know Bran. I 'll end this strife straight I set mine by the Sun I love to set by th' best one shall not then Be troubled to set often 2 Lady You do wisely in 't Bran. If I should set my Watch as some Girls do By ev'ry clock i' th' Town 't would nev'r go true And too much turning of the Dials point Or tampring with the Spring might in small time Spoil the whole work too here it wants of nine now 1 Lady It does indeed forsooth mine 's nearest truth yet 2 Lady Yet I have found her lying with an Advocate which shew'd Like two false clocks together in one Parish Bran. So now I thank you Ladies I desire A while to be alone 1 Lady And I am no body Methinks unless I have one or other with me Faith my desire and hers will nev'r be sisters Exit Ladies Bran. How strangely womans fortune comes about This was the farthest way to come to me All would have judg'd that knew me born in Venice And there with many jealous eyes brought up That never thought they had me sure enough But when they were upon me yet my hap To meet it here so far off from my birth-place My friends or kinred 't is not good in sadness To keep a maid so strict in her yong days Restraint breeds wand'ring thoughts as many fasting days A great desire to see flesh stirring again I 'll nev'r use any Girl of mine so strictly How ev'r they 're kept their fortunes finde 'em out I see 't in me if they be got in Court I 'll never forbid 'em