these Gentlemen continued to give him made up the main of his Subsistence both when he was in and out of his place Yet it must farther be owned that he and many other of his suffering Brethren have had their Supplies from an unseen Hand It was the observation of one that is now in Heaven that he and some others had carefully surveyed the County where they lived which is one of the largest in England and afforded as many Non-conformists as any yet said he they all live maintain their Families pay their Debts It s true there have been others that have been as great Critic's as he in these learned Languages but let the Reader take this along with him that he got all by his own industry He had no Maître de langue saving what he had as a School-boy He conversed only with the Dumb Silent Writers were his instructors By him a Man may learn what industry can do and what Labour can overcome besides he did all this when he had the noise of diverse little Children Ten at the least a large Family calling for Bread which yet his paternal Care and God's good Providence as was said before did supply He was moreover all this while a constant Preacher and which was more an acceptable and followed Preacher for our Rabinnical Men are commonly the scorn of the Vulgar they are better at Criticisms than Elocution they that remember Mr. Wheeler Dr. Castle and some other such like know this to be true But our Author as he was happy in the sacred Criticks so he sought to find out acceptable words Eccles 12.19 and could express himself ad captum populi in his Mother Tongue and with a certain kind of divine and winning Rhetoric draw them after him He was no stranger to natural Philosophy nor the Mathematicks nor yet to Medicin in which by his study and conversation he had profited much For he was an inquisitive Person and learned greatly by learned Men when he met with them And by this means if God had blessed him with longer Life he intended to have gained an Addition to his subsistence Yet all this Learning Usefulness I might add modesty Humility and forbearance to meddle with things not concerning him cou'd not keep him out of a Prison Once he lay in Worcester Goal for the great crime of Preaching yet had the Courage to preach the same day the Law released him At another time he was sought after to undergo the same preferment but God hid him as we may verily believe For being searched for by some Troopers sent to his House on purpose who not finding him one of them more suspicious and diligent than the rest swore the usual Oath This fellow hides himself in the Chappel Whereupon he came to the Door the Key was in it he turns and opens looks about him and goes back without farther search But had he gon in he had certainly found the party he looked for for thither Mr. C. had retired upon some notice of their coming His care of keeping a good Conscience towards God and Man may most evidently be seen in a Paper found in his Study wherein he undertook diligently to search and try his own Heart and Ways A work that too few are acquainted with how profitable soever it is We shall exhibit this writing in his own words when we have only told you that his laying such a heavy charge against himself is as I believe according to Truth and a justifiable thing The Apostle St. Paul to whom our Author may in many things be compared and whom he followed though non passibus aequis doth the very same calling himself the least of the Apostles the meanest of Saints Sin had wrought in him all manner of concupiscence Sin taking occasion by the Commandment deceived him In me saith he dwelleth no good thing The good that I would I do not when I would do good Evil is present with me I was a Blasphemer a Persecutor Injurious Wonder not then to find our Author expressing himself in such words detesting himself and his evil Courses But God had mercy on these two Men who by his Grace became eminent Saints and Preachers of his Grace Who as before their Conversion they were exceeding vile and sinful at the time of its full of Pangs and afterwards exceeding laborious for their great Lord and Master Add to this that they both spake with Tongues more than many others the one indeed by a miraculous Inspiration the other by the blessing of God upon his industry The one spared not his Corinthians was afraid of his Galatians wept over his Philippians so was the other very zealous for his People reproving freely praying and weeping plentifully for his beloved Floâ—k at Mosely But to return to his Paper which he never thought shou'd have been published but was reserved for his private review and use Because it may do good to excite others to the like examination of themselves and penning down their Experiences Evidences and observations about their own spiritual Estates it is here offered as an Example wherein he is as full in shewing his dark side as his bright side I know a Man whether in Christ or out of Christ I cannot tell such an one I know who believing an Eternal Judgment and willing to state the case of his own Soul against that dreadful Solemnity that he might the better understand what issue to expect in the invinsible World His Appetites were strong and violent to all manner of Evil neither did he restrain himself from any desire of his own wicked Heart but what the fear of Stripes or when he grew to be bigger the Fear of Hell restrained him from yet here also where he durst not adventure upon the overt Act he practised it all and rioted upon it in Contemplation You take too spare a measure of his Wickedness if you suppose he proceeded no farther than Rioting and Drunkeness Chambering and Wantonness Strife and Envy Sabbath-breaking and Lying which often was suborn'd to palliate all the rest Imagine what you will forbidden that falls within the compass of the Ten Commandments he really thinks that one way or other he stands chargeable with it besides the wilful omission of all affirmative Duties conceived in both Tables of the Law In this cursed course was his Life and so suitable was it to the Diabolical Nature that dwelt in him that nothing was more irksome to him than that which gave check to his compliance therewith Which yet through the infinite Goodness of God he sometimes met with such as guilty Fears in his own conscience confounding â—hame for all his unkindness to the gracious God whose Mercy had so long prevented his Destruction in Hell and violent Conviction of a necessity of breaking off his Sins by Repentance or perishing which had some times such a mighty force upon him as to drag him out of his Pleasures and from amongst his evil associates into the Garden
which indeed is the Life of thy Soul Did the Body of thy dearest Relation lie dead upon the floor what a woful Spectacle would it be and how bitterly wouldst thou weep over it But O Sinner thy Immortal Soul which should be more preciously dâ—ar in thy sight than all thy Relations in the World that lies dead in Sin it 's estranged from God the Fountain of Life it hath no interest in Christ the Prince of Life it hath no Portion in the Holy Ghost the Spirit of Life it hath neither Part nor Lot in Eternal Glory the Crown of Life and is not this a far more sad and woful Spectacle such as may well turn thy Head into Water and thy Eyes into a Fountain of Tears Oh what should fill thy Heart with Groans thy Eyes with Tears and thy Mouth with doleful Complaints if not this to see thy Soul without Life without God and Christ and without all hope of Eternal Glory in the World Canst thou weep bitterly for a dead Relation and yet canst thou not weep for thy self hast thou no Tears to shed over a dead Soul For a Man to be killed by Sin and yet to live to Sin taking pleasure therein what a woful condition is this If yet Sinner thou hast pleasure in unrighteousness to be sure the Tokens of Death are upon thee thou hast neither Life nor yet any hope of Eternal Life abiding in thee A Soul taking delight in the pleasures of Sin it 's a dead Soul * John 3.36 and a Dead Soul it shall never see Life but the Wrath of God abides upon it 2 CONSIDER so long as you take delight in the pleasures of sin you remain uncapable of and can never enjoy communion with God If conformity be that which capacitates for a mutual communion then doubtless an unholy sinner that hath pleasure in unrighteousness is altogether unfit for communion with an holy God †Heb. 1.13 whose Eyes are so infinitely pure that he cannot behold the least iniquity (a) Fit nostra societas cum Deo per similitudinem Ferrar. There can be no fellowship where first there is not some similitude What fellowship can there then be betwixt the great God who is all light and profane ungodly sinners delighting themselves in the unfruitful works of darkness You may say there is fellowship betwixt you and the God of Heaven (b) 1 John 1.6 But then if you walk in darkness making sin your delight you lie saith the Apostle and do not the truth 'T is an exempt priviledge and that which is peculiar to the pure in Heart that they shall see God and have communion with him (c) 2 Cor. 6.14 15. Hence St. Paul puts the question intending thereby a more vehement negation what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness and what communion hath light with darkness and what concord hath Christ with Belial We see by experience the darkness cometh not till the light be gone and when the light cometh the darkness vanisheth they cannot dwell together it being the nature of things contrary mutually to take away each other Thus the infinitely holy God and a voluptuous sordid Sinner who hath pleasure in unrighteousness they are of such contrary natures that they can no more have fellowship together than the clearest Light and the thickest darkness Amongst all the creature there are none that can have communion with any that live not the same life with themselves as a Plant whose life is only vegetative can have no communion with a beast whose life is sensitive neither can a beast have communion with Men because they live a rational (d) Ephes 4.18 life Thus all sensual wicked Men they are estranged from the life of God they live a life of sensuality delighting in sin as their proper Element and therefore can have no communion at all with God whose life is a life of unchangably blessed and spotless Holiness Oh then how miserable is the condition of all voluptuous sensualists who render themselves uncapable through their brutish lusts of communion with an holy God! Michael and the Dragon could not agree in one Heaven nor the Ark and Dagon in one House no more can a wicked Man and an holy God agree to have communion together Your carnal pleasures they shut out from communion with God as the Plague of leprosy shut out of the Camp debarring a Man from all society with such as were clean (e) In his rebus quae inter se pugnant ita ut neutra ferat alterius consortium quotiens hanc amplectimur illam abdicavimus quotiens unam rejioimus alteram agnoscimus Cyprian de dupl Martyr pag. 600. And had you rather with the Prodigal be feeding upon Husks amongst Swine than to feed with delight upon this bread of life in your fathers House Will you still go on to preferr these Onyons and Garlick of Egypt your carnal delights and pleasurable vanities before all the delicious Clusters of Canaan before the hidden Manna of Sweet communion and fellowship of an holy God Poor brutish sinners did you but know by experience what it is to walk in the light of God's countenance what it is to enjoy his favour what it is to be under his smiles in the face of Christ to receive daily the fresh communications of his love and for ever to have the sweet influences of these heavenly Pleiades falling down like a Golden showr into your own bosoms oh how quickly would you nauseate all carnal delights how quickly would you come off with shame and self-abhorrency from your pleasurable vanities making choice of Communion with God as the only Paradise of true delight and Soul-satisfying pleasures in all the World (f) Psal 34.8 Oh therefore do but tast and see how good the Lord is and what fulness of joy you may have in communion with him You have long been sucking the Breast of carnal delights and tasting how good the pleasures of sin are though but for a season Come now in like manner and draw the sincere milk of comfort from the breasts of Divine promises lay your mouths to the Hony-Comb of Heavenly communion sit you down a little under the shadow of the most High ascend with God into the Mount of transfiguration take a turn or two with him in the Galleries of love and if you find not a day thus spent to be better more laden with Fruits of Paradise to refresh and make glad your Souls than a thousand else where then turn aside again to your carnal pleasures renounce this Heavenly Canaan as a barren Wilderness and go back to the flesh-pots of your sensual delights in Egypt and spare not But oh the fulness of joy and divine satisfaction of a Man walking close in communion with God! You may as well perswade the most pompous Monarch faring deliciously every day to lay aside his princely Robes to desert his Throne and go feed upon husks with the Prodigal as
Water to refresh the Thirsty and an eternal Sabbath of Rest for all that are now weary This Reward is Manna cujuslibet suporis like the Manna prepared for God's People in the Wilderness which they say had that very tast and relish in every Man's Mouth that pleased him best Here if one thing suite well with your Desires yet another goes cross or if one thing answer your Expectations yet in some other Mercy or Comfort you are often disappointed Oh but the Reward of heavenly Glory this will answer your Desires this will answer all your Wants your Grievances your sorrowful Sighs and careful Groans accommodating it self most exactly to your longing Expectations in all things Every poor Soul in this Life is a very Compound of manifold Miseries Wants and heart-breaking Distresses But as it is said of Mony that answers all things so this Reward it answers them all and removes them all What is it poor Child of God that thou standest in most need of What are thy Wounds that most pain thee thy Troubles that most oppress thee and what are thy daily Burdens that lie most heavy upon thy Spirit to grieve and afflict thee What is it after which thy Heart doth so pant and breath so impatiently long for Oh it may be thou art now upon the Rack sorely distressed But this Reward it will give thee a Writ of Ease from all thy Pain not suffering thee to groan under them any longer It may be with Zion thou sittest with Tears upon thy Cheeks weeping bitterly in the Night Oh but this Reward it will bring in fulness (b) Isaiah 35.10 of Comfort wiping away all Tears from thy Eyes Thou may'st possibly go mourning and be bowed down by reason of great Affliction Oh but this Reward it will give thee the Oyl of Gladness and make thee lift up thy Head with everlasting rejoycing Possibly thy Sins thy Unbelief thy Unfruitfulness thy hardness of Heart thy want of love to God and our dear Lord Jesus these trouble and afflict thy Spirit Oh but this Reward it destroys all our Sins turns faith into open Vision Hope into full Fruition crowning all our Graces how weak soever here with fullness and everlasting Perfection If thou groan because thy Pilgrimage is prolonged and thou dwellest as it were in the Tents of Kedar Oh remember this Reward it will bring thee home to thy Father's House it will gather thee to the Spirits of just Men made perfect it will change thy Sodom into a Zion it will turn the Brick-kilns of Egypt into Canaan's Golden Mines and the barren Wilderness of this World wherein thou now wandrest up and down like a poor distressed Pilgrim this Reward will change it into the Garden of God into the heavenly Paradise into a spiritual Eden full of purest Delights and divine Contentments Now peradventure thou hast Sorrow to remember thy Sins thy former Miscarriages thy daily Troubles thy absence from the Lord who alone is thy Hope thy Life thy Comfort thy Hearts desire oh but dear Christian this Reward it will make thee to forget (c) John 16.20 22. the days of thy Mourning it will put thee into the Bosom of thy dearest Lord it will turn thy Sorrow into Joy that shall never be taken from thee On Christians there is that suitableness in his Reward that it 's the very Plaister for your Sore the very Balm for your Wound the very Voice of Joy to your Spirits in heaviness the very Harbour of Rest and Happiness after all your Storms that have so grievously tossed you That variety of Expression made use of by the holy Ghost to shadow out the transcendent Excellency of this Reward doth most clearly evince the suitableness of it to all the Wants Indigences and desires of an immortal Soul If the Soul be dislodged from its earthly Tabernacle this Reward (d) 2 Cor. 5.1 provides Mansions of Glory for the comfortable Entertainment thereof in another World If a Man be hungry it 's a pot of hidden Manna to feast him If sorrowful (e) Rev. 2.17 it s the Joy of the Lord to comfort him If any Man be thirsty (f) Mat. 25.21 it's Rivers of Pleasure at God's right Hand for evermore to cool and refresh him If any Man walk in darkness (g) Psal 16. and have no light in him (h) Col. 1.12 it is the Inheritance of the Saints in Light If any Man walk in the valley of the shadow of Death it 's a Crown of Life (i) James like a Death-bed-cordial to revive him If any Man suffer Nakedness for Righteousness sake it 's the Garments of Salvation to cloath him it 's the white Robes of Glory to hide the Shame of his Nakedness If any Man lose Houses or Lands for Christ it 's an Inheritance incorruptible Undefiled (k) 1 Pet. 1. and that fadeth not away reserved in Heaven for him To the weary Soul that hath long been troubled through the Malice of an ungrateful World (l) Rev. 14.13 it 's a resting from his Labours To be short if any Man endure Afflictions it 's a far more exceeding and eternal weight of (m) 2 Cor. 4.17 Glory Oh then how suitable is this Reward that a poor Soul cannot be in any Distress nor labour under any Wants but this Reward will afford supply of Comfort giving ease to all that are now in pain the Garment of Praise to all that are now in heaviness and to all that are now labouring and weary and heavy laden the sweet enchearing Bosom of God himself for their eternal easeful Repose 4 THE Reward whereunto God allows his People a Respect in all their Obedience it 's a sure Reward So you may find it called by Sâ—lomon a Man in whose Breast all the Lines of Wisdom met as in their proper Center (n) Prov. 11.18 The Wicked worketh a deceitful Work but to him that soweth Righteousness shall be a sure Reward Both the Righteous and the Wicked are Men of active Spirits only the Works of the Wicked they prove abortive promising all good but exposing to Misery and so deceive Expectation But the Righteous he never meets with any such sad Disappointment but as the Harvest naturally follows the Seed-time so after a short Seed-time of Grace there will spring up as the never failing sure Reward of such a Person a full crop of eternal Glory So (o) Gal. 6.8 that you see the Text though but short doth yet carry in it both Blessing and Cursing both Life and Death both Heaven and Hell Blessing Life and Heaven to Crown the Righteous Cursing Death and Hell as that which must inevitably be the Portion of all the Ungodly The Wicked he worketh the work of a Lie that is a sinful Work every Sin being a Lie and such a Work that albeit it tells us a fair tale yet it will miserably deceive us at last betraying us into the Hands of Wrath Hell and
eternal unpreventable Burnings But the Righteous he worketh uprightly serving the Lord in Spirit and in Truth and therefore the Reward of Truth shall be given him that is the Reward of Life of Heaven and eternal Glory which the Truth and Faithfulness of God stand engaged for Hence the Apostle speaking of eternal Life (p) Tit. 1.2 he tells us that God who cannot lie hath promised it Giving us clearly to understand thereby that it 's as possible for the God of Truth to be impeached of lying as for those that are Heirs of the Promise to fall short of eternal Life This maâ—â—â— the same Apostle bold to tell us (q) 2 Thes 1.6 7. that it 's a Righteous thing with God to give a Writ of Ease (r) Heb. 6.10 an eternal Sabbath of Rest to (s) Si Dominus enim oblivisceretur operum fidelium suorum nec eos remuneraret utcunque injustus putaretur quod omnino nefas est dicere Haymo in loc those that are now troubled for Righteousness sake implying that it were an unrighteous thing with God to do otherwise Only we must not think that it were an unrighteous thing with God not to give the Reward of eternal Glory to the Righteous because of any Condignity in them whereupon to claim it or because of any (t) Quoniam Deus sibi debitor est ut agat condecenter prout congruit bonitati suae uti scipsum negare non potest ita non debet aliud se indignum facere Arrows Tact. l. 3. c. 3. Cum omnia nostra ex Deo sint nec quisquam quippiam dederit pro quo sibi à Deo retribuatur jure in ipso justitâ—a non est Aq. 1. quaest 21. art 1. Manifâ—stum est autem quod inter Deum hominem est maximâ— inaequalitas in infinitum enim distant totum quod est hominis bonum est à Deo unde non potest hominis ad Deum esse justitia sâ—cundum absolutam aequalitatem Aq. 1. a 2. d q 1â—4 a. 1. c. Debitorem Dominus ipse se fecit non accipiendo sed p rmittendo Aug. in Ps 83. Debitor enim factus si non aliquid à nobis accipiendo sed quod ei placuit promittendo Idem de verb. Apost 16. Work done by them equivalent thereto But because it would argue him inconstant mutable and unfaithful should he fail to make good the Word that is gone out of his Mouth or not render Heaven and Glory to whom he hath graciously promised it So that Righteousness here and else-where is not taken strictly for Justice properly so called as if Man could do any thing to oblige God or that should be proportionate in Worth and Dignity to eternal Glory for betwixt the great God and his Creatures there is no such Justice But it 's taken for his Truth and Faithfulness which doth yet in a sort oblige him to Crown with Immortality and Glory his own People and they may urge him with his Promise though still he is a Debtor to none but his own Fidelity Or if you will have Austin's Thoughts in the case he tells you that God hath made himself a Debtor to us albeit he be Debtor to none Not by receiving any thing from us but by promising (u) Qui credit pâ—omittenti fiâ—enter promissum repetit promissum quidem ex misericordiâ sed jam ex justitiâ persolvendum Bern. de grat lib. Arb. Justè jam ex debito requiritur quodcunque vel gratis promittitur Idem ibid. what he pleased to us And thus thoâ— it were out of Mercy that eternal Life is promised Yet it is now of justice to be given to those that can plead the Promise So that what the Apostle saith of God's pardoning Mercy may well be accommodated here to his remâ—nâ—rative Goodness If we by patient continu nce in well-doing seek for Glory and Honour and Immortality the Lord is faithful and just to Crown us with Life (a) Agnoscere debemus totum illud jus quod nos habere dicimur ad vitam aeternam in eo positum quod Deus quasi sibi ipsi debitor est ut agat conformiter tum condescentiae bonitatis suae tum fidelitati promissionis suae Davenant de just hab actual pag. 640. everlasting being many times better giving more but never worse than his Word giving less than he promised Oh then whâ—t greater Security can any Man desire for eternal Life than the Promise of the faithful God who cannot lie (b) Fidelis est enim Deus nec tibi auxilium denegat in hoc saeculo nec praemium subtrahet in futuro Fulgent epist 2. ad Gallam pag. 477. Though if we speak properly both the Word of Life and the Crown of Life born the Promise and the actual fulfilling thereof be of Grace Yet having promised it is but just that God should be so far Faithful as to make good all his Promises The Lord therefore having made over by Promise an immarcessible Crown of Life a Kingdom that cannot be moved an eternal weight of Glory to his own covenant People Let them not stagger through Unbelief but as stedfastly expect it as if they had the Crown already upon their Heads and were fully possessed of that Kingdom and Glory (c) Rom. 11.29 For as his Goodness hath moved him to make us promises of Life and Glory So his Faithfulness will engage him to make them all good I might further tell you for the strengthning of your Hopes of God's electing Love which as it began in eternal Purposes of Grace towards you so it shall never have an end but in your full Enjoyment of endless Glory To be sure (d) Heb. 12.2 God never repented in time nor ever will he of what he purposed towards his People before all time I might tell you of the Redemption purchased by Christ giving all the Members of his own Body everlasting Security that where he is there they shall be also For we may not think that the Lord Jesus would be so prodigal of his precious Blood as to pour it out for Uncertainties or to die without good Security that all who are truly Gracious should live with himself for ever in Mansions of heavenly Glory I might tell you how much it is for God's Honour that where-ever he hath been the Author of any good Work he should also be the (e) Author fidei nobis est quia ipse nobis fidem infundit non enim possumus credere nisi ab illo praeviamur ipse consummator fidei quia consummationem nobis praestat in hoc ut in fide perseveremus Haymo in loc Qui tibi demonstravit rectam viam ipse tibi deductor in patriam Fulgent epist 2. ad Gal. pag. 477. Finisher going through with it And not like that foolish Builder who began to build but could not make an end nor carry on his Work to Perfection So that if the Lord