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A24140 The Academy of pleasure furnished with all kinds of complementall letters, discourses and dialogues : with variety of new songs, sonets and witty inventions : teaching all sorts of men, maids, widows, &c. to speak and write wittily and to bear themselves gracefully for the attaining of their desired ends : how to discourse and demean themselves at feasts and marry-meetings at home and abroad in the company of friends or strangers : how to retort, quibble, jest or joke and to return an ingenious answer upon any occision whatsoever : also a dictionary of all the hard English words expounded : with a poeticall dictionary : with other concests very pleaiant and delightfull, never before extant. 1656 (1656) Wing A159; ESTC R18095 45,386 144

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fear to shew it doe not darken your own worth with too much bashfulnesse men of parts should proclaim themselves the world will still remaine ignorant of their worth else Scholler Sir you almost make me blush as red as those stockings you weare I thinke they are of Naples Shop-keeper I thought you Schollers had known all things you are beside your Text there I must tell you they are compounded I confesse of the finest wooll and created in Iersey Scholler Pardon my judgment Sir we Schollers seldome use any other objests but our Books Shop keeper I doe confesse it Sir provided alwaits they are Licensed ones and have some worthy hands set to them for probation Scholler Sir I must intreat your company to the Canary shop Shop keeper With all my heart Sir I am of late become a great lover of sacke and can make shift now and then to cut out a Copie of Verses I can tell ye as simple as I stand here not a bit of Prose sometimes will down with me but le●s away Boy have a vigilant care of my shop the Times are dangerous and if there come ever a Scholler in black let him speaks with me for my own part I doe begin to doat upon Books and am very strangely taken with strange Verses and howsoever we are all accounted dull-brain'd Asses by Gentlemen yet there are those that merit renown for their parts and performances even amongst us Shop-keepers witnesse Murford Mercer and Scot I doe love a Scholler with my heart for undoubtedly very marvailous things may be atchieved by Art I have read something though I say it that should not Why Sir there are those Schollers in Town will tell you what is become of Horses and silver spoons and will make Wenches dance naked to their beds I had a Sister was served so I am yet unmarried and because some of our neighbours are said to be Cuckolds I will never be married without the consent of some of these Schollers that know what will come of it Please Sir to lead the way Scholler Nay I shall wait on you Sir Shop-Keeper Phoebus forbid it Sir that were a fine jest Ifaith let Learning lye behinde me I have been better brought up than so Sir Nay I know my postures I warrant you Sir and have been drunke at Court more than twice in the dayes of old King Charles I le assure you Sir Scholler You will manifest what command you have over me Sir I shall be obedient for once my capacious Citizen To a Mayd in love with a young Man but ashamed to shew it STill will you languish see here 's pen and ink Write to him let your heart and seale expresse Such marks as on his very soule may sink And shew y' are blest although with heavinesse May your Paper seem as fair As your self when you appear May the Letters which you write Look like black-eye-lids upon white And may your charmed Pen such fancies bring Being adorned with your Hand and Scale As if your Quill were pluckt from Cupids wing And so the riches of his soule may steale A Letter to a false Friend queintly quipping him IF I thought it could be possible to finde out that race of men that Pliny talks of whose heads stand in their brest who scarce can tell a smooth lie because their hearts are joyned so near to their lips I would instantly depart this Nation and travail to those well-meaning men there I should forget the calumnies of deceitfull tongues and no more remember that I once prized the amity of so false a man as thy self happy are those soules chat sit in the Elysian shades who being freed from fleshly clogs have so clear an understanding of each other that there is no need of eares or tongues words were first made to reveale our meaning but by a strange inversion they now serve to conceale our intents I have spelt your hollow heart Sir already by joyning three or four actions but if those lent me no light the reading of the whole Sentence gives me perfect assurance you can no longer delude my sense Sir your well-spoke wrongs are like hurtfull words writ in a gracefull hand or a bloody sword sheathed up in velvet so wishing your conversion or I will not say confusion I close all with this truth That I am for ever lost to your love SONG X. The forsaken Virgin Tune is For in my freedome's all my joy 1. I Am a poor forsaken Mayd By a perfidious Youth betray'd After so many oathes and vowes While Myttle Garlands gyrt our browes Where shall I finde a place where I May weep my self away and die Death 's the best cure Death 's the bestcure of misery 2. Come O th●u● with thy Lute and play me Thar very solitary Ah me Which for thy love thou didst compose When that thy heart-strings gave the close A greater grief than thine have I Destroy'd by black disloyalty Death 's the best cure c. 3. Come then ye pretty Nymphs and Faieries From your faire Meadows and your Daieries Come Venus deck my sable pillow With blasted Myrtle and with Willow Let the rude Satyrs showt and crie 'bout her that slights my Monodie Come courteous Death come courteous Death and end my misery 4. O false unconstant ●●othlesse Lad Will not my Murther make thee sad When swift report salutes thine care That I am layd upon the Biere An ashey Victim unto thee Here let me die and buried be Come courteous Death c. 5. Like cruell Theseus dost thou leave Thy courteous Ariadne so Like perjur'd Paris wilt thou grieve * Her that has shielded thee from woe Here will I moan and waile and crie Till like a soul-lesse lump I lie Come courteous Death c. 6. While fervent love did fill each brest Hast thou not oft these words exprest Let heaven showre vengeance on my head And Joves dire Thunder strike me dead When ere I prove unkinde to thee But these were spungie Vowes I see Come courteous Death c. 7. My Ghost will tell sad tales below And let all loyall Lovers know That here such monstrous men there are Whom the griev'd earth does sweat to beare False perjur'd and unkinde like thee Come courteous death c. 8. If there be just vindictive Powers Residing in the heavenly Towers If there 's a Righteous Providence Which but to doubt were insolence Worthy those plagues belong to thee Then look for punishment for me Come courteous death c. 9. Mean time as dying people doe I le prophesie what shall ensue This wicked impious change of thine Not caus'd by beauty coine or wine But by thy own inconstancy Which by the Gods chastis'd shall be Come courteous Death c. 10. Thou of thy Helen now hast joy But shalt tast woes like him of Troy When thy light heel'd and gayrish Bride Shall love another man beside Then all too late thou l't think on me And I will laugh
I Kindly thanke you for your last Letter and thinke my selfe the happiest she in the world who have the sincere and unbyassed affection of a man so accomplished as your selfe nor shall I faile to retribute your cordiality with the return of a true and unfeigned zeale my heart is wholly yours you sit as sole soveraigne there and command each thought ere I can call it mine my subjugation to you is in my opinion the most immense tranquility that can possibly wait on Mortality command me deare Friend as soon as you please for the griping Miser is not more desirous of Mammon or the hungry man of meat than I am to prostrate all I call mine to your commands to whom I shall ever manifest my selfe A loyall Lover A new Letanie FRom a Nose that ne'r met Fo● And from a Sword that ne'r struck blow From a Red-breech to make a show With one Copper-lac● or two From a Belt of leather enough Hung with Tobacco pipes to puffe And from a Brawle to take in snuffe Libera nos Domine From a new Hat without a Band From an Heyre that his no Land From a face at Plymouth●and From him that wears a Feather in 's Cap With new white Boots without a Top And payd for too by wondrous hap With a painted Quean upon his lap Libera nos c. From a new Beard with Dogs-turd trimd With a new Lo e-lock lac'd and limbd From a new favour snatcht or nimd From him that walks as if he swimd Libera nos Domine The Lover being out of hope ever to gain his Mistresse affection thus takes his farewell of her by Letter Discourteous Dance HE that first folded his armes lookt pale walks disconsolately and sighed his sorrows in a pensive tone was he that first taught Women how to be cruell and relentlesse most inexorable Woman have I so long courted thee with all the reality of serious love have I l●ckt thy spittle from the earth and prostrated my selfe at thy feet as thy foot-stool offering up more prayers at thy Shrine than in the Temple and will nothing mollifie thy obdura●e heart what excuse canst thou make for such contemptuous scorn am I another Hyponax or mis-shapen Thyrsites or has Time yet stampt the Characters of Age upon my brow or is my estate so mean that I cannot maintain thee in more pomp than thy pride can dictate if none of these can be charg'd upon me let the world judge of thy wisdome for me I have found my errour and will appoint my self the strictest penance in the mean time I gaze upon my quondam absurdities in reference to thee as prodigies that predicted ruine but by heavenly appointment are turned to good So farewell fond and cruell Mistresse and may both P●les meet before thy love and my affection which is the firm resolve of Thy mortall Enemy SONG VI The willing Prisoner Tune is Wee 'l go no more to the Old Exchange c 1. HAve I not lov'd thee pretty one A whole moneth and a day And is 't not now time to be gone I prithee Wanton say I that untill I view'd thy face Have laught at Cupids power Nere knew what amorous worship was Above a single hour Am now in slaved by thy smiles And thy alluring postures Nor am I weary of thy wiles 〈◊〉 do●e upon thy gestures 2. Sure thou haff some Circean char● Some spell the● so attracts me Yet am I happy in my harm And blest by that which wracks me So loyall Prisoners kisse their Gyves And Martyrs play with fire I would not part for thousand lives With thee my souls desire Then Cupid grace thy Convertite With Pageants and Procession And I such favour to require Will trumpet my profession 3. O thou art all so sweet so faire I lose my self in wonder And Jove himself would quit his Chair And throw aside his Thunder But to obtain one kisse from thee But Jove's self shan't supplant me For while I boast thy amitie His fire-balls cannot daunt me Then come my Dearest let me clip Thy body most divine And suck Nepen●●t from thy lip Which yeilds immortall wine 4. It is thy glory Dearest sweet Thy fight-lesse Archer never Did with a Dart my bosome gree● Thy eyes supply his Quiver Had Homer or Museu● seen Thy rare resplendent glories Hellen and Hero ne'r had been So famous in their stories Thou hadst fill'd up the mouth of Fame And if my skill may raise thee I le rear such Trophies to thy name That after times shall praise thee 5. Thou art that Ve●●● which didst rise Out of the foaming Ocean While all the tumid Deities Did wait upon thy motion Since then thou art that Goddesse kinde That rules the Babie Getter Let thy belov'd A●chyses finde How thou his limbs canst fetter A brace of young Aeneas his I Shall every year finde being While I like ●●eel-bac●t Hercules My flesh am alwaies freeing A Letter from a Woman heaven knows being forced to woe some obdurate young Man Sweet Sir I Cannot but tax you of too much harshnesse and diss●nanty who flie her who so entirely affects you must Daphne follow Phoebus fi● Sir can you be so uneasie can you freez in so hot a Summers day certainly it is your mistake that occasions this scorn I have youth and some beauty else my glasse is treacherous and all that censure me are meer Calumniators I doe confesse I am too pliant 100 much Woman yet I can frown ●ip the passions of others even in the bud I can tell others that they court our Sex onely to please their present heats and then it is their pleasure to leave us I can hold off and by the Chymicall power of my countenance draw whole Rhe●es of Sonets and Madrigals from the brain● of a w●●ping Lover yet to you dear Sir who are my bet●er self I put off all those necessary nice●ies and contrary to custome doe that office which no way befits a Woman and intreat a Man to love if you are humane and have blood and spirit you cannot chuse but relent though you are as hard as marble yet I believe you are no Image is it not deplarable that a thing of so exact a form shap't out with so true a symetry that has all the organs of speech belonging to a man should render all those but livelesse ●otions that walke upon wi●●● then dear Sir leave off what you have been and be what God and Nature intended you for a Man and imbrace that reall love which is unfeignedly prostrated by Your affectionate c. A Souldier complementing a young Mayd Souldier I am a Souldier and a Batchelour Lady I could love such a Wife as you infinitely they that use many words are commonly deceitfull but the truth is I long to be a Husband a good Husband I finde my self given to my ease a little I am young you see and for my abilities you need not question them if you are