in respect of himself only would have done otherwise yet he did as their desires required Rom. 15. 3. The Apostle saith even Christ pleased not himself many times when he was hungry If any came to him that needed Instruction or if he were sleepy and any came to him that needed Consolation he would abstain from Meat and Sleep that he might do them good it is not so with great men but it was so with Christ who was the great God Affections and Resolutions 1. Admire the Excellencies of Christ O blessed Saviour Thou art the chiefest of ten thousand Thou art altogether lovely Thou hast a Name above all Names That at thy Name every knee should bow Thou Lord art set at the right hand of the Father in the heavenly places Far above all Principality Power and Might and Dominion and every Name that is named not only in this World but also in that which is to come Thou art the brightness of thy Fathers Glory and the express Image of his Person Consider O my Soul what can these words mean Surely if God commanded all the Angel to worship him when he brought him into the VVorld how much more should we for whom he hath done much more admire and adore him in Spirit and in Truth Be confounded and ashamed that thou art no more affected with these things Doubtless O my Soul It is not for want of excellency in Christ for he is the Lord of Glory but for want of a clearer Faith in thee to behold his Excellencies If the Scripture had not spoke the thousandth part of Christ as it doth how could thy thoughts have been lower of him then they are how could thy heart be more senceless It is a shame that every vanity should steal away our hearts from Christ much more abominable is it that our very sins that murthered him should ever prevail with us in the least Pray Blessed God 't is not in man by all his wisdom and industry to know or be affected with the Excellencies of Christ if thou dost not reveal them If I had a thousand worlds they were too small a price for so great a Mercy O shew me thy self and thy Son and it sufficeth And now O my Soul are the Excellencies of Christ nothing unto us Do we indeed admire them Surely all is but meer words and vain thoughts if we do not strive as far as we may to imitate him in those Excellencies for which we pretend to admire him Are we as patient as he was Meck Humble Holy who when he was reviled reviled not again c. We do but deceive our own souls in giving Glorious Titles and speaking high things of Christ and in the mean while not endeavour to transform into his Image It is impossible we should love him for his patience and holiness and not love patience and holiness nor yet never care to practise and get them Therefore for the time to come the Life of Christ shall be the Example whereby I shall endeavour to frame mine And that I may the better do so I will read over especially the New Testament and observe in every particular what Christ did how he spoke to his friends to his enemies how he demeaned himself in every action whether civil or natural or Religious how in all his Relations And when I have written them down I shall often peruse them and shall endeavour in every action that I do and word that I speak to remember if I can whâ—ther there be any parallel instance in the life of Christ if there be I shall make that my pattern and do likewise but if there be none that I can think of then I would do that which in my conscience I think Christ would have done in like case For the Conclusion I refer you to the Directions and Instances of former Meditations The Conclusion of the whole I Found a great deal of difficulty in Writing this small Treatise of Meditation not into the Doctrinal or Directory Part because Christian experience and study are things by which that party is managed but in the setting down of instances and examples therein I found the difficulty to lie For Meditation is an harder work then to give directions thereunto and I have generally found it easier to study a day then to Meditate an hour but of all the kinds of Meditation whereof Instances are set down in this Book I found the greatest difficulty in those of Solemn Meditations they consisting for the most part of Prayer which the devout Soul when it hath ended forgets so that if one might gain a world when the heart is overwhelmed with Grief or inflamed with Love or ravished with Joy one could not remember the powrings out of the Soul In such cases one may say of such Meditations as Saint Paul speaks of those Glorious things which he saw when he was wrapt into the third Heavens they are neither lawful nor possible to be uttered many times the secrets in our communion with God are of that nature that it is not lawful by reason of that scandal nor possible to utter because the affections being so intensly employ'd Invention Memory and intellectual actings of the Soul during that time do almost quite cease and indeed whosoever goes about to invent Instances of Meditation if it be only a Learned Man and not holy his Studies may exceed his Actings that way but if it be an holy experienced Christian as his inward thoughts of Love Joy Grief and admirings of God are above all that his Tongue doth or can utter so those secret expressions which he useth between God and his own Soul when his thoughts are full of heaven and of God are much beyond what he can invent or by study expresseth Therefore since those Meditations that are fullest of Devotion cannot be remembred to set down Instances of Meditations except one should take them from some Saint as he was powring out his soul before God in secret one can never set them fully down in secret I say For the Soul is never so free nor may be before others as with God alone and the truth is if I had not had these Instances of Solemn Meditation by me I think I should hardly have set down any of that kind I should only have referred him to the Psalms It was so that I wrote these from the mouth of one to whom these unseen I was oft-times so near that I could hear his secretest Devotions if uttered though but with an ordinary voice I am very confident for his part he thought that none but God and his own Soul were privy to his Prayers I have sometimes considered it as a case of Conscience whether it was lawful by stealth to hear and afterwards to publish the private Meditations of others but considering how much advantage it may bring to others and how the party himself can suffer nothing in it his Name being concealed by me I resove to publish them
it being in the morning will have an influence upon the whole day but this is not an Universal Rule for we read that Isaac went forth in the Evening to Meditate Gen. 24. 36. and in case the subject of your Meditation be a Sermon then it may be the best time is immediately after the hearing of it before your affections cool or your memory fail you 2. For the how long considering the parts of Meditation are so many viz. Preparation Considerations Affections Resolutions c. and none of them are to be past slightly over for Affections are not so quickly raised nor are we to cease blowing the fire as soon as ever it beginneth to flame until it be well kindled half an hour may be thought to be the least for beginners and an hour for those that are versed in this Duty But there are two Rules in this Particular especially to be observed 1. That as we ought not to leave off our prayers before that temper and frame of heart is wrought which is suitable to the matter of our prayers viz. we should not leave off the confession of sin till our hearts are made sensible of and humble for our sins nor should we leave off our praises until our hearts are filled with holy admirings and adorings of God and inflamed with his love So the end of Meditation being affections and resolutions we should not leave off until those are wrought 2. As in private Prayer so long as we finde our hearts enlarged by the pourings of the Spirit of Supplication upon us we are not to leave off unless by our continuance in that duty we must omit another duty to which we were more particularly obliged at that time So in meditation as long as we find the heart affected we are to continue it But this Caution must be given that in such enlargements we must not continue them longer generalâ—y then while they come freely and without much straing and compulsion for that hony that comes freely of it self from the Comb is pure but that which is forced by heat and pressure is not so well relished but this Caution is for extraordinary enlargements for if the heart be dead we must use all means to awaken it But as fire must be blown till it be well kindled but afterwards blowing hinders the boyling of any thing that is set over it So when once our hearts are inflamed and enlarged with holy affections in an extraordinary manner 't is but a hindrance of our affections to return to the Meditation of those Points that raised them CHAP. VI. Rules for the Subject of Solemn Meditation 1. BY no means let it be Controversie for that will turn Meditation into Study 2. Nor nice Speculations for they be sapless without nourishment Besides being so light they float in the brain having no weight to sink them down into the heart and indeed were they there they have nothing in them to affect the heart withall 3. Let the Subject of Meditation be the plainest powerfullest and usefullest Truths of God as Death Hell Heaven Judgement Mercies of God our own sins the Love and Sufferings of Christ c. 4. Let the Subject of your Meditation be that that is most suitable to your Spiritual wants as in time of desertion meditate most of the love and mercies of God c. Rules for meditation it self they are of three sorts 1. Preparatory 2. For the body of the Duty 3. For the Conclusion Two things by way of preparation besides the choice of the Subject the first is be convinced of and to be affected with the presence of God The second is Prayer for assistance from God 2. For the body Meditation it self It consists of three parts The first I call Consideration which is nothing but the convincing our hearts of several Truths that do belong to that Subject whereof we Meditate As if the Subject of our Meditation be Death the Considerations may go thus Alas O my Soul how and when and where we shall die we know not generally men die sooner then they expect and certain it is whensoever that hour comes we must bid adieu to honors pleasures riches friends and at last our own bodies c. The second part is affections whether it be love of God or Christ or spiritual things despising of the world admiring of God or any other spiritual affection The third part are Resolutions to do this or that or leave this or that Now this is the most proper and genuine way of Meditation appears by this 1. Because it is not artificial and such as requires Learning as those Directions are which wish us to consider the efficient final formal material cause of death the adjuncts concomitants c. which though they may somewhat help the learned yet such hard words and artificial methods fright the ignorant â— This is the very method of those Meditations by which every one that is brought home to God is converted For the first thing in conversion is our being convinced of some Truths which conviction raiseth affections for if the truths of God end in conviction and go no no further nay if they end in affections only and never come to resolutions of shunning evil and doing good conversion can never be perfected as for example One is convinced that he is a miserable undone wretch by reason of Original and Actual abomination Upon this conviction fear and sorrow are raised yet if these do not work in us a firm resolution of leaving those sins we are yet in our sins and unconverted 3. There are several things for the concluding of Meditation as shall appear CHAP. VII Directions for the working of our hearts to be convinced of and affected with the presence of God FOR being convinced of and affected with the presence of God it may thus be wrought 1. We are to consider that God is present every where as truly really and essentially as he is in Heaven For God did not create Heaven to continue still but to manifest his presence for the Heaven of Heavens are not able to contain him for God is neither included by nor excluded from any place and though Jacob saith Surely the Lord was in this place and I knew it not Gen. 28. 16. yet we must not imagine that Jacob was ignorant of that Truth but did not actually consider it but David in the 139 Psalm is clear in explaining and clearing up the omnipresence of God 2. We must consider that God doth more peculiarly observe his people while they are performing of heavenly duties whether it be while they are speaking unto him or he speaking unto them he doth then more especially observe the motion and frame of their hearts as when we are in any company we do more especially look upon and observe those to whom we speak or who speak to us yet this is to be understood not as if God did observe us more at one time then another in respect
of Gods knowledge it self but thus that God is much more offended with us if our carriage and frame of heart be more irreverent and unholy in the time of prayer and Meditation then at such times as we are in the works of our particular calling 3. We may consider with our selves that Christ doth actually behold us especially in these duties of holiness for it is not the distance of place that doth hinder Christs knowledge and exact observing of us Little did Nathanael then think that Christ saw him under the Fig-tree Nathonael did not see Christ nor was he corporally present then yet Christ beheld Nathanael when he prayed so Christ beheld Stephen before the heavens were opened and the opening of the heavens was not that that thereby Christ might be enabled the better to behold Stephen but that Stephen might thereby be the better enabled to see that Christ looked on him without all controversie God knows and observes with what reverence faith love c. we pray for else our prayers would be in vain and our faith also vain for how could he give us according to our faith if he knew not how much our faith were If the inward frame of our hearts were not observed by him then an hypocrite that hath better expressions should get more by his prayers then a true Nathanael that hath a better heart 4. Suppose that thou hadst lived in Christs time or suppose that Christ were now in England consider with what joy reverence and confidence thou wouldest go to him for the pardon of thy sins or for any other mercy thou stoodest in need of Thou maist go so to him now his distance from thee in respect of corporal presence doth not make him less able to know thy wants or hear thy prayers nor his being now glorified makes him less willing to grant them then if it were bodily present in the room with thee in the form of a servant as he was once at Jerusalem the glory of Christ doth not hinder his love and goodness for Christ is the express Image of his Father and Gods Attributes do not not hinder one another The Majesty of God doth not set bounds unto his goodness and make that finite nor doth his goodness make his Majesty less glorious his goodness makes his Majesty more amiable and his Majesty makes his goodness more wonderful So neither doth the exaltation of Christ cause him to abate any thing of his goodness unto his people but if any way his Love be altered it is by being made more then it was and when Christ was upon earth you must have come to him by Faith or you could obtain no mercy from him and by faith though he be in heaven you may obtain any mercy now You may consider any one or two or more of these considerations until your heart be so convinced of and affected with the presence of God that you may thereby be the better fitted for the carrying on the duty of Meditation more effectually CHAP. VIII Concerning the Preparatory Prayer that is to be used before Meditation THE next Preparatory consideration is Prayer and it is to be performed in these words or to like purpose Lord my design in this Duty of Meditation is not to be an hour sequestred from Worldly Employments for that were to be idle an Hour and to encrease my Sinnes not my Graces but my Business at this time is to be so convinced and affected with those spiritual Truths revealed in thy Word that I may fully resolve by thy strenghth and power to reform my Life because I can neither understand the things that belong to my peace nor understanding them be convinced of the certainty and truth of them Nay Lord though my understanding be enlightned yet without thee mine affections cannot be enflamed I can neither know resolve nor perform what is good without thee for from thee comes both the will and the deed of thy good pleasure I beseech thee Lord that thou wouldest give me thy grace to make conscience of performing this duty with my whole strength and not carelesly and perfunctorily And Lord do thou enlighten me with and convince me of thy Truths and so affect my heart with the love of holiness and hatred of sin c. that I may thereby be enabled fully firmly notwithstanding all the opposition that the flesh world or devil can make to run the wayes of thy Commandements with joy and with speed and when thou hast wrought in me the will so to do give me also the deed and that I may not trust to the strength of my resolutions but to the continual gracious assistance of thy Spirit for the performance of those things that through thee I shall resolve to do Holy and blessed God Christ hath sent me wishing me to come to thee in his Name for any mercies I stand in need of grant these things which I have begged for the Lord Jesus sake Amen This or a prayer to the like purpose thou art to put up unto God but it is to be done with thy whole heart for thou must know that it is by the strength which thou shalt get from God by prayer whereby thou shalt be enabled to perform this or any other duty profitably for it is he that teacheth us to profit he that begins a holy duty without God will end it without God also It is a dangerous thing to think that we can by our natural parts Learning or by the strength of Grace already received without Gods further assistance perform any thing that can please God or edifie our own Souls For though our Mountain be made strong yet if he shall hide his face there will be trouble We may with much more Sense say Now the Sunne shines so bright and the Air is so clear that now we can do well enough for a while though the Sunne be Eclipsed then to say though our Hearts be never so much inflamed with the love of God Now we are so filled and inflamed by his Love we shall do well enough by our own strength for at the present we need not Gods further assistance Give us but Fewel Matter to Meditate of and we shall be able to continue and encrease our flames Do not count it a Burthen but a Mercy and Priviledge that God hath necessitated and commanded thee alwayes to draw strength from him CHAP. IX Several Rules for managing the Duty of Consideration 1. THey must be plain Considerations not intricate and abstruse For the main end of meditation being the affecting of our heart and resorming of our lives and not informing of our understandings our considerations should be so plain that they may be without difficulty understood 2. It must be certain and evident not controversial and doubtful For the end of Meditation is not properly to encrease our knowledge but to improve our knowledge 3. Much less should our considerations be Curious and Nice Speculations or if we choose any
our selves of the Scope of the words that so we may the more fully understand their drift and aim and we are not to let the truth pass until we have by effections examination or resolution some wayes advantaged our selves in the most holy Faith or some wayes else benefitted our souls by a general view taken of the words of the Text we may see the abundant sweetness and fragrancy of the Word of God as we do the odour of flowers by senting them Now Meditation draweth forth the Honey of the Flowers into our bowels and nourisheth us thereby the beauty and Odour of Flowers are very delightful but they nourish not so bare understanding of the words themselves do rather delight then profit us and if we go no further it is but so much on in order to Solemn Divine Meditation I look upon it as one of the greatest sins of the Professors of England That the reading studying and meditating upon Scripture is so much neglected hence people grow not in knowledge I have writ the great things of my Law and they are strange things unto you saith God Hos. 8. 12. Doth any man let the Letters of his friends lye by him and never read them If Lawvers should never read Law Books but have them in their Studies it would be very absurd how wonderful would they be to seek in the resolving of case if upon the thousand part so good grounds as we have that the Scripture is the Word of God we should hear of some Prophecy from God setting down what would be the doom of England and all these publick Transactions would not every one be industruous to get it and read it We have a more sure word of Prophecy and that which teacheth of matters of far greater concernment then the temporal welfare of this Nation and yet it lyeth by us as a thing forgotten The Rules for Meditating upon the Scripture are either those which highly concern the matter of Meditations or the right Manner of them For the right Manner of our Meditations let it be with all Reverence and Humility and sense of Gods Majesty upon our Spirits and how utterly unable we be to understand the VVord of God without the Spirit of God if any one in the pride of his heart shall think by the strength of his Gifts and Parts Savingly to understand the Mysteries of Salvation he will find himself quite mistaken For as God sendeth the Rich empty away so he will send the Wise and the Prudent ignorant away It seemeth a strange carriage in Christ to rejoyce in the Spirit that God had hidden the Mysteries of the Gospel from the Wise and Prudent It is wonderfull Arrogance for any one to think he can know God without his leave whether he will or no or think to see God by any Light but by his own He may as well see the Sun without the Sun one put a question why Christ came not as Moses or as a Prince but in the form of a Servant nor as John the Baptist in an outward austear way but came eating and drinking he was answered among many other things especially for this that he might deceive the reason of man For had he come in the outward Form and Manner of a Prince then humane reason might have something to build upon that he was the Messias Outward Mortification is in high esteem with the World but inward Mortification and to be inwardly holy without proclamation is most sincere The second thing for the manner of your Meditation if you would meditate aright is to come with an indifferent mind and take heed of bringing the Creature to your mind but bring your mind to the Scripture and hear what the Lord will say unto you Thirdly Let your Meditations upon Scripture be very serious we are to know God as well as to love him with all our mind strength We may do the things of the World well enough and yet mingle many thoughts of God with our worldly Employments but we cannot mingle the things of God and the World together Fourthly Let the end of your Meditations be to raise holy affections and to have stronger resolutions for God then ever you had before not only to know more of but that we may have a greater love to God or else 't is not Meditation but study CHAP. XV. Several Rules for the Subject of our Spiritual Meditation 1. THe first Rule to be observed in the choice of a Subject for your Meditation is this viz To choose those places of Scripture to meditate upon as are most suitable to your Master Sin as if your Master Sin be Pride choose those Scriptures to Meditate upon which is most in speaking against Pride and set down Gods hatred and Detestation of it or his severe Judgements executed upon it And all his Threatnings against it as you may see in several places that set down the Evil Nature or Effects of it and so of any other Sinne that is not thy Master Sinne for it is of great concernment and a sure sign of Sincerity to keep our selves from our own iniquity Thus you find David speaking of himself that he kept himself from his own iniquity Psal. 18 23. 2. Meditate upon those Scriptures which you find suitable to the dispensation of Gods Providences as when the Church is in danger of persecution Then meditate upon those Scriptures which either command you to have or do commend the Saints of God for having a sence of the Saints sufferings upon their Spirits set down the places that make Promises to those that are sensible of the sufferings of the Saints and also those places that do set out Gods love to his people and promises of support and deliverance to them in the time of their adversity meditate also upon the Histories of Gods deliverance of his people in their great straights and also of the way and Method of his deliverance of those Prayers also that prevaileth with God for their deliverance in such cases 3. Meditate upon those Scriptures which are suitable to mens personal providences as if thou art rich then meditate upon those Scriptures that set down the danger and the duty of the rich If thou art afflicted with sickness poverty or disgrace imprisonment meditate upon those places which set down thy Duty in those Conditions and those Promises that set down comfort for thee in those conditions Meditate upon those Scriptures which set down the carriage of Saints in thy Condition and how God supported them and at last Delivered them 4. Let your Meditation be upon Scriptures suitable to your Temptation As if you are tempted to uncleanness as Joseph was then meditate upon those Scriptures which speak against uncleanness It is fit to meditate of the hainousness of sin in such cases and not of those Scriptures that may increase your Temptations but of those that may remove them as a person under Desertion is not to meditate of those Scriptures
or hear to enflame my heart I had better not set an hour apart and give thee all the day by thinking alwayes of thee Lord I do now acknowledge for then I shall not but if thou shouldest leave me I should be too much given to blaspheme thee Nay blâ—ssed God let that never be Lord it shall never be When I consider the desperate hypocrisie of my heart I may every Morning expect that thou shouldst give me up to a râ—probate sense to commit sin with greediness when I think of these things I pour out my soul within me To think with my self I shall lose my Estate a little troubles me to think I shall lose such a friend it affects me more but to think I shall lose my God and become an Apostate that 's a hell unto me I have begged of thee as for my life that thou wouldest not leave me and now I beg O forsake me not utterly To have such a heart that will neither inflame my words nor be inflamed by them is that which hath not been so Lord except thou wilt follow one that will not stay when thou callest and overtake one that runs from thee when thou followest I am lost Well I am sure my froward and careless carriage will justifie thy justice if thou condemn me and magnifie thy Mercy if thou savest me Meditat. XXXIX Lord this day is thine own and by being thine is the more mine I must now burn without coals about me The time hath been when if I had been cold and dull the Society Exprâ—ssions and Examples of others in dayes set apart to thee would have inâ—lamed me Now the company I have is water and snow Wo is me that I am constrained to have my habitation in the Tents of Kedar and yet Lord thou art never wanting Thou sendest forth thy beams of light and heat if I bring not Clouds over mine own head I may have enough light from thee Lord when will these dayes of sin be ended and the time of refreshing from the presence of the Lord come I come into thy presence but when I am come I am silent and deaf neither able to speak to thee nor hear the sweet whisperings of thy Spirit O that I had a heart to give my self unto thee or that thou wouldest take these poor longings of my Soul for a Gift and thereupon take possession of my Soul My dayes of leaping for joy to think of thee are gone and now my dayes of sorrow to see mine own vileness are come My tears are now my Meat and Drink O that I had more of them so they were more Spiritual I am a poor creature but thou art the rich God My poor heart why dost thou not speak why art thou silent what saist thou Is not God a good God what relish or sweetness is there in these words if thou dost not set to thy seal Lord to thy glory though not to my comfort be it spoken Thou hast been a good God to me but I have no comfort from this truth if I never relish it yet if mine heart will be so wicked and vile and base as not to acknowledge it yet my hand shall write that which shall witness for my God against my self Thou art good patient and Merciful unto me enough to make earth and heaven to wonder at thy goodness and my vileness Ah my God my God must my words go beyond my thoughts of love to thee Lord thou art enough for heaven enough for thy self and art thou not enough for me Try O my Soul try thou wilt never trust before thou knowest this by experience thou knowest abundantly that the creature hath told thee It is not in me this thou knowest by experience and by faith thou knowest it is in God Well then lay all thy weight and strength upon him and none upon the Creature Hold upon him with both hands or else thou wilt attribute the greatest failing unto God For as he that stands upon never so strong a place if he lean against a rotten wall he shall fall and one that is asleep when he falls will not know whether fail'd him and so if we do but lean to our own wisdom we shall happily think that God fails Lord I wait I long for thine appearance Thou art enough Lord I know not what to say I am undone without thee Lord I hear the poor fly oh how it flies up and down Now it is warmed and revived with the warmth of the Sun yesterday it lay still as dead surely Lord if thou wilt shine upon my Soul I should be active and chearful in thy service No marvel heaven is so full of thy praises when thou communicatest thy self so fully to them The Crumbs that fall from thy Table are too much for me these temporal blessings are more then I can challenge yet Lord I cannot be content with them give me thy self and it sufficeth for all is nothing and shares without thee Meditat. XL. Alas my God Pride and Despair divide my life When I find any thing I do in some manner as I should I begin to be pust up and think that I do more then some others of Gods people and when I look upon my failings these thoughts begin to arise It is in vain I shall never overcome such corruptions My Sinnes doe me more harm by discouraging me then in the commission Meditat. XLI Lord There is no peace until thou hast all our love while our heart is divided between the world and thee we can have no quiet Natural conscience draws one way and Natural Corruptions another way It is our ignorance that makes us think that there is not enough in thee to satisfie all our desires and supply our wants which makes us joyn the Creature with thee When Lord when shall all my thoughts be of thee I am weary of being thus divided Lord if I can dispose of my self I give my self wholly to thee O refuse not that gift which thou hast so often desired thou hast said give me thy heart Lord my heart longs whilest thou hast it If thou saist that I do not give my self freely and wholly enough alas nor never shall until thou take my heart and discoverest the secrets of thy love unto me when thou dost that I shall run after thee Lord heâ—e's my poor soul it lies at thy feet groveling and gasping for life the Creature hath left me and I have left the creature and would not that it should have any more of my love but it still woes me and follows me for my love unless thou overcomest these strong corruptions I shall never be at quiet Meditat. XLII Sometimes my heart begins to be fill'd with joy so that I am ready to cry out Thou art mine exceeding joy and then I consider what I shall do for I am afraid that my joy is false When I consider how I came by it whether my prayers have been more servent and frequent of
Blessed God it is no more in my power to know thee by the strength of mine own abilities if thou dost not manifest thy self and thy truths unto me then it is for me to see the Sun without the Sun therefore Lord do thou take off the Veil that is upon my heart and understanding and that which is upon thy Truths I read in thy Word that my blessed Saviour did rejoyce in Spirit and give thee thanks because thou did'st hide thy Truths from those that were wise and prudent and reveal them unto babies O that I were of the number of those Babes to whom thou wouldest reveal thy Truths Lord give me a powerful Experimental knowledge of the Truths that are included in these words 5. And holy and blessed Father If thou wilt be pleased to let me know thy mind in thy Word though thy commands should be never so cross to my corruptions my base corruptions which have hindred me from a world of joyes grace and Communion with thee which if it had not been for them I might have had long ago I will do them by the power of thy might Lord forbid that I should be so wicked as to enquire of thee the Lord which I do or should do as often as I read the Scripture as we read the Jews did desire the Prophet Jeremiah to enquire of thee for them though they were resolved before-hand what to do Yet they said they would do whatever thou shouldest command whether it were good or evil O that I had at least a heart to resolve to serve thee If I must want let me want riches health liberty rather then grace Rather let me want strength then want a will to serve thee I had as good sin unwillingly as to do what thou commandest unwillingly Lord give me truth in the inward parts 6. Those things that lie plain in these words is That those that are of a poor and contrite Spirit that tremble at the Word of God are highly esteemed of him So that poverty of Spirit and Contrition of Spirit and trembling at the Word of God are the three things that are here so highly commended and prized by God 7. But now let us seriously consider whether we are thus qualified Am I poor in Spirit Those that are so have low thoughts of themselves and are not troubled that others have low thoughts of them too They like reproofs better then praises They do not murmure under afflictions but rather wonder they are no more afflicted Is it thus with us 8. Lord If there be any thing of poverry of Spirit in me if I take reproofs well or afflictions in any measure patiently certain it is it is not at all from my self I was born with as proud a heart as any and certain I am that I did not change mine own heart Thou takest away the stony heart we do not give thee it 9. But alas Lord I am far from being poor in spirit in any measure according to that which thou in thy VVord requirest My passion and the boylings of my heart my loving to be called Rabbi and to be esteemed by others and many other distempers and corruptions of that nature which I have daily to struggle withal evidently prove the pride of my heart nay and the afflictions that thou laeyst upon me plainly show what the corruption is that thou intendest especially to cure By the Medicine oft times one may know what the Disease is and Lord it is in vain if there were no other end in it then to manifest my distempers to thee for me to confess the secret pride of mine heart the strange windings turnings depths and the strange and new Monsters of pride and hypocrisie that I might daily discover in my self alass Lord thou knowest these altogether and since thou dost so what cause have I to wonder that thou shouldest shine upon such a dunghil as I am But Lord thou only canst cure me of this pride and hypocrisie of heart for my prayers cannot nay though I consider and am convinced of rhe desperate wickedness of mine own heart the vileness of my nature the abominations of my life yet these cannot work without thee as a plaister though it be never so excellent laid on the wounds of a dead man it draws not it heals not so are all consideration and convictons to a dead heart 2 But alass what is there in me whereof I should in any measure pride my self For others to have good thoughts of me is no very strange thing for so they had of the Scribes and Pâ—arisâ—es but for one that knows the baseness of his own heart the cernal grounds manner and ends of his actions and a thousand other distempers and corruptions for such an one to have high thoughts of himself is one would think impossible But as to God nothing is impossible that argues power so to such a heart as every one hath by nature nothing isimpossible that argues sin and we have more cause to wonder that we have not committed the sin against the holy Ghost then that we have done the evils that we have For certainly had God but given us up to the strength of our own corruptions and to Satans subtlety and malice to improve them we had committed that sin long ago And alass what good doth the high esteem of others do us are we ever a whit the more holy because they think us so Nay hath it not proved a means to make us more sinful God hath abundantly declared his wrath against this sin by that vengeance which he hath poured out upon Satan for being guilty of it how many severe threatnings are there in the word of God against pride and how many precious promises to those that are humble The Lord beholds the proud afar off but to this man will he look that is of a poor and contrite spirit and trembleth at his word 3. What are the things that cause thee to pride thy self Are they thy gifts either of edification or sanctification Consider that 1. They are very mean scarce any of thy calling hath weaker gifts of edification and no Saint under heaven hath weaker gifts of sanctification 2. Suppose thy gifts were great O what an heavy account must there be for mis-spending such Talents What way canst thou worse mis-spend them then by priding thy self in them Do men praise thee Alass thou mayest go to hell with their praises for so did the Scribes and Pharisees Do all men speak well of thee and dost thou pride thy self and rejoyce in that Fear and tremble at what our Saviour saith Wo unto you when all men speak well of you for so did their Fathers of the false Prophets 3. Consider how unkindly thou dealest with God thou dost as a woman that should deck her self with the jewels that her husband had given her but despighting his love gives away those Jewels to those with whom she played the harlot the more to entice them is