credo_fw-la though_o yet_o still_o not_o by_o way_n of_o discourse_n than_o we_o can_v tell_v how_o to_o understand_v with_o all_o our_o humane_a diligence_n of_o this_o world_n in_o the_o compass_n of_o many_o year_n but_o now_o to_o exercise_v and_o employ_v the_o power_n of_o the_o mind_n and_o yet_o the_o while_n to_o think_v of_o make_v they_o stand_v at_o a_o stay_n be_v a_o senseless_a kind_n of_o fancy_n and_o foolery_n and_o i_o say_v and_o say_v again_o though_o perhaps_o it_o be_v not_o well_o understand_v that_o this_o be_v no_o act_n of_o any_o great_a humility_n and_o though_o it_o shall_v not_o be_v guilty_a of_o be_v a_o fault_n yet_o it_o will_v not_o fail_v to_o be_v subject_a to_o the_o punishment_n for_o at_o least_o it_o will_v be_v all_o labour_n lose_v and_o the_o soul_n find_v itself_o to_o remain_v with_o a_o odd_a little_a kind_n of_o disgust_n as_o when_o a_o man_n go_v to_o leap_v when_o yet_o man_n hold_v he_o fast_o by_o the_o back_n for_o such_o a_o one_o seem_v already_o to_o have_v employ_v all_o his_o strength_n to_o do_v somewhat_o which_o he_o desire_v and_o yet_o find_v himself_o without_o effect_v what_o he_o pretend_v and_o so_o whosoever_o will_v consider_v the_o matter_n well_o shall_v come_v to_o discern_v by_o the_o slender_a gain_n which_o he_o make_v this_o little_a half_a invisible_a dust_n of_o the_o want_n of_o humility_n whereof_o i_o speak_v for_o in_o fine_a this_o virtue_n have_v that_o excellency_n among_o other_o in_o it_o that_o there_o be_v no_o work_n or_o action_n in_o the_o world_n if_o it_o be_v accompany_v with_o that_o virtue_n which_o will_v ever_o leave_v the_o soul_n in_o disgust_n there_o be_v diverse_a truth_n year_n when_o i_o be_v wont_a to_o read_v many_o thing_n and_o yet_o understand_v none_o of_o they_o all_o and_o there_o be_v afterward_o also_o a_o long_a time_n when_o though_o god_n give_v i_o ability_n to_o understand_v yet_o can_v i_o not_o speak_v a_o word_n wherewith_o to_o make_v it_o be_v understand_v by_o other_o and_o this_o point_n cost_v i_o no_o small_a labour_n but_o when_o his_o divine_a majesty_n have_v a_o mind_n to_o teach_v it_o he_o do_v it_o so_o &_o all_o at_o a_o instant_n that_o i_o be_o amaze_v and_o one_o thing_n i_o can_v say_v with_o much_o truth_n that_o though_o i_o speak_v with_o many_o spiritual_a person_n who_o have_v a_o mind_n to_o make_v i_o understand_v what_o our_o lord_n impart_v to_o i_o that_o so_o i_o may_v the_o better_o declare_v thing_n in_o particular_a and_o clear_a manner_n to_o they_o it_o be_v certain_a that_o my_o dulness_n be_v so_o great_a as_o that_o their_o discourse_n be_v not_o of_o any_o use_n to_o i_o at_o all_o and_o perhaps_o our_o bless_a lord_n as_o his_o divine_a majesty_n vouchsafe_v still_o to_o be_v my_o master_n &_o let_v he_o be_v bless_v for_o ever_o since_o it_o be_v confusion_n enough_o for_o i_o to_o be_v able_a to_o say_v thus_o much_o with_o truth_n be_v please_v that_o i_o shall_v have_v no_o body_n to_o thank_v for_o it_o but_o himself_o and_o that_o without_o my_o desire_v or_o even_o wish_v it_o for_o in_o this_o i_o be_v not_o a_o whitt_n curious_a wherein_o it_o may_v have_v be_v a_o virtue_n to_o be_v so_o but_o i_o be_v so_o about_o the_o vanity_n of_o the_o world_n he_o will_v give_v i_o to_o understand_v and_o comprehend_v it_o with_o all_o claritie_n yea_o and_o so_o as_o that_o i_o can_v unfold_v it_o also_o to_o other_o in_o such_o sort_n as_o that_o man_n be_v amaze_v at_o it_o and_o myself_o more_o than_o any_o of_o my_o ghostly_a father_n because_o i_o understand_v i_o own_o dulness_n better_a than_o they_o nor_o be_v it_o any_o long_a time_n since_o this_o happen_v to_o i_o and_o so_o i_o procure_v not_o to_o know_v those_o thing_n which_o our_o lord_n have_v not_o teach_v i_o but_o i_o only_o consider_v and_o take_v care_n of_o they_o so_o far_o as_o whereby_o my_o conscience_n may_v be_v concern_v i_o return_v yet_o once_o again_o to_o advise_v and_o declare_v that_o it_o will_v import_v we_o very_o much_o not_o to_o error_n elevate_v and_o raise_v our_o spirit_n unless_o our_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o elevate_v and_o raise_v it_o which_o if_o he_o do_v it_o will_v instant_o be_v understand_v and_o especial_o this_o be_v more_o dangerous_a for_o woman_n for_o the_o devil_n may_v bring_v some_o illusion_n upon_o they_o though_o yet_o withal_o i_o hold_v it_o for_o very_o certain_a that_o our_o lord_n will_v not_o permit_v that_o the_o devil_n shall_v be_v able_a to_o hurt_v any_o such_o person_n as_o shall_v procure_v to_o approach_v his_o divine_a majesty_n with_o humility_n but_o rather_o that_o he_o shall_v be_v able_a to_o give_v himself_o more_o advantage_n and_o profit_n by_o that_o whereby_o the_o devil_n mean_v to_o destroy_v he_o but_o now_o in_o regard_n that_o this_o way_n of_o beginner_n in_o the_o exercise_n of_o mental_a prayer_n be_v more_o beat_v and_o because_o the_o admonition_n which_o i_o have_v give_v import_n much_o i_o have_v enlarge_v myself_o thus_o far_o though_o yet_o other_o will_v certain_o have_v write_v much_o better_a of_o it_o but_o thus_o much_o do_v i_o confess_v and_o i_o have_v express_v myself_o herein_o with_o abundance_n of_o confusion_n and_o shame_n though_o yet_o still_o not_o with_o so_o much_o as_o i_o ought_v to_o have_v have_v let_v our_o lord_n be_v ever_o bless_v for_o all_o since_o he_o permit_v and_o be_v please_v that_o so_o miserable_a a_o creature_n as_o i_o shall_v speak_v of_o thing_n belong_v to_o his_o divine_a majesty_n and_o those_o thing_n such_o and_o so_o high_a the_o thirteen_o chapter_n she_o proceed_v in_o this_o first_o degree_n and_o state_n of_o prayer_n and_o give_v advice_n against_o some_o temptation_n which_o the_o devil_n be_v sometime_o wont_a to_o bring_v this_o discourse_n be_v very_o profitable_a i_o have_v think_v fit_a to_o speak_v here_o of_o certain_a temptation_n which_o i_o have_v find_v to_o be_v bring_v against_o some_o in_o their_o beginning_n to_o use_v mental_a prayer_n and_o some_o i_o have_v feel_v myself_o and_o i_o will_v also_o give_v some_o advice_n which_o i_o hold_v to_o be_v necessary_a herein_o let_v therefore_o a_o saint_n beginner_n procure_v to_o goeon_a with_o great_a alacrity_n and_o liberty_n of_o spirit_n for_o there_o be_v some_o who_o be_v apt_a to_o think_v that_o all_o their_o devotion_n be_v instant_o to_o vanish_v if_o they_o do_v never_o so_o little_a amiss_o therein_o it_o be_v true_a that_o it_o will_v be_v very_o fit_a to_o continue_v in_o a_o holy_a doubt_n and_o fear_v of_o themselves_o that_o so_o they_o may_v not_o be_v confident_a at_o all_o to_o put_v themselves_o into_o any_o occasion_n wherein_o our_o lord_n be_v wont_a to_o be_v offend_v for_o it_o will_v ever_o be_v very_o necessary_a to_o use_v this_o actual_a diligence_n till_o one_o be_v very_o entire_a in_o the_o possession_n of_o virtue_n and_o there_o be_v not_o many_o who_o may_v be_v so_o very_o confident_a of_o themselves_o as_o that_o in_o such_o occasion_n which_o have_v well_o conformity_n with_o their_o natural_a disposition_n and_o inclination_n they_o may_v be_v out_o of_o care_n and_o fear_n and_o in_o fine_a it_o will_v ever_o be_v fit_a that_o so_o long_o as_o we_o shall_v live_v in_o this_o world_n we_o consider_v our_o miserable_a nature_n though_o it_o be_v but_o even_o for_o the_o continual_a exercise_n of_o humility_n but_o there_o be_v many_o time_n when_o it_o be_v permit_v as_o i_o have_v say_v to_o be_v take_v recreation_n though_o it_o be_v but_o to_o enable_v we_o the_o better_a to_o return_v the_o more_o encourage_v and_o fortify_v towards_o the_o make_n of_o prayer_n in_o all_o thing_n it_o will_v ever_o be_v needful_a to_o use_v discretion_n and_o withal_o to_o have_v great_a confidence_n in_o god_n for_o it_o be_v by_o no_o mean_n fit_a to_o go_v lessen_v &_o diminish_v our_o desire_n but_o to_o believe_v of_o almighty_a god_n that_o if_o we_o will_v endeavour_v earnest_o by_o little_a and_o little_a we_o may_v by_o the_o favour_n of_o his_o divine_a majesty_n arrive_v though_o it_o be_v not_o present_o where_o many_o saint_n have_v arrive_v who_o if_o they_o have_v never_o resolve_v to_o aspire_v to_o perfection_n and_o have_v not_o also_o endeavour_v by_o little_a and_o little_a to_o acquire_v it_o will_v never_o have_v be_v able_a to_o obtain_v so_o high_a a_o state_n his_o divine_a majesty_n be_v a_o very_a great_a friend_n and_o favourer_n of_o hart_n courageous_a soul_n so_o that_o withal_o they_o proceed_v with_o humility_n &_o not_o with_o any_o confidence_n in_o themselves_o and_o i_o have_v yet_o never_o see_v any_o one_o of_o this_o kind_n who_o have_v
different_a kind_n be_v round_o about_o i_o which_o circle_v i_o in_o and_o it_o seem_v to_o i_o that_o cuerie_n one_o have_v offensive_a weapon_n in_o his_o hand_n wherewith_o to_o hurt_v i_o as_o lance_n sword_n and_o dagger_n and_o other_o have_v also_o long_a staff_n in_o a_o word_n i_o can_v not_o get_v from_o thence_o by_o any_o way_n or_o mean_n without_o danger_n of_o death_n especial_o be_v alone_o and_o not_o have_v any_o one_o creature_n to_o help_v i_o and_o be_v thus_o in_o so_o great_a affliction_n of_o spirit_n that_o i_o know_v not_o what_o to_o do_v i_o liftedup_a my_o eye_n towards_o heaven_n and_o see_v christ_n our_o lord_n not_o then_o in_o heaven_n but_o yet_o very_o high_a and_o far_o off_o from_o i_o in_o the_o air_n who_o reachtforth_o his_o hand_n towards_o i_o and_o favour_v i_o from_o thence_o in_o such_o sort_n that_o i_o fear_v neither_o all_o that_o other_o people_n nor_o yet_o these_o who_o all_o be_v unable_a to_o do_v i_o hurt_v how_o much_o soever_o they_o shall_v desire_v it_o this_o vision_n seem_v at_o the_o first_o sight_n to_o be_v without_o any_o fruit_n or_o good_a effect_n at_o all_o but_o it_o have_v yet_o do_v i_o a_o great_a deal_n of_o good_a because_o i_o have_v understand_v what_o it_o signify_v for_o i_o see_v myself_o in_o that_o encounter_n short_o after_o and_o know_v that_o it_o be_v nothing_o else_o but_o this_o vision_n and_o i_o also_o come_v to_o know_v it_o to_o be_v a_o very_a picture_n or_o rather_o map_n of_o the_o world_n for_o as_o many_o as_o be_v in_o it_o abstract_v ever_o from_o those_o few_o who_o apply_v themselves_o to_o do_v our_o lord_n particular_a service_n seem_v to_o carry_v arm_n against_o this_o wretched_a soul_n of_o we_o as_o namely_o honour_n estate_n delight_n and_o the_o like_a for_o it_o be_v evident_a that_o the_o soul_n be_v all_o overcast_v with_o a_o net_n before_o it_o be_v aware_a at_o least_o all_o these_o thing_n do_v the_o best_a they_o can_v to_o endanger_v and_o wrapp_v we_o up_o fast_o enough_o as_o namely_o friend_n kindred_n and_o which_o amaze_v i_o more_o even_o such_o as_o be_v virtuous_a people_n for_o i_o find_v myself_o afterward_o to_o be_v extreme_o press_v and_o even_o oppress_v by_o they_o they_o conceave_a in_o the_o mean_a time_n that_o they_o carry_v themselves_o very_o well_o but_o the_o while_n i_o know_v not_o at_o all_o either_o how_o to_o defend_v myself_o or_o what_o to_o do_v o_o my_o dear_a god_n and_o if_o now_o i_o shall_v stand_v to_o relate_v the_o kind_n and_o difference_n of_o those_o trouble_n which_o set_v upon_o i_o at_o that_o time_n even_o after_o all_o those_o other_o whereof_o i_o speak_v before_o how_o well_o may_v this_o be_v able_a to_o serve_v for_o a_o mean_n to_o make_v a_o man_n whole_o abhor_v all_o thing_n it_o be_v i_o think_v the_o very_o great_a persecution_n of_o all_o that_o ever_o i_o have_v endure_v for_o i_o feel_v myself_o at_o some_o time_n so_o straight_o set_v upon_o on_o all_o side_n that_o i_o only_o find_v remedy_n by_o lifting-up_a my_o eye_n to_o heaven_n and_o cry_v upon_o almighty_a god_n and_o i_o remember_v very_o well_o what_o i_o have_v see_v in_o this_o last_o vision_n of_o i_o and_o it_o do_v i_o a_o great_a deal_n of_o good_a towards_o a_o not_o put_v confidence_n in_o any_o creature_n for_o there_o be_v no_o one_o of_o they_o firm_a and_o stable_n but_o only_o god_n alone_o be_v entire_o and_o true_o so_o but_o in_o these_o great_a affliction_n our_o lord_n have_v ever_o use_v to_o send_v i_o some_o person_n or_o other_o who_o in_o his_o name_n may_v lend_v i_o his_o hand_n as_o he_o signify_v to_o i_o that_o he_o will_v and_o as_o he_o do_v also_o let_v i_o see_v in_o this_o last_o vision_n and_o so_o i_o tie_v not_o myself_o to_o any_o thing_n but_o only_o to_o please_v our_o bless_a lord_n and_o this_o have_v serve_v to_o sustain_v this_o poor_a little_a virtue_n which_o i_o have_v in_o desire_v to_o serve_v he_o and_o let_v he_o be_v bless_v for_o ever_o but_o find_v myself_o once_o very_o unquiet_a and_o in_o great_a disorder_n yea_o and_o in_o skirmish_n or_o rather_o in_o a_o very_a battle_n without_o be_v able_a to_o recollect_v myself_o yea_o and_o my_o thought_n be_v scatter_v and_o disperse_v upon_o thing_n which_o be_v not_o very_o perfect_a and_o withal_o not_o seem_v to_o be_v so_o utter_o untie_v from_o all_o thing_n as_o i_o use_v and_o be_v still_o so_o wicked_a as_o i_o be_v i_o grow_v afraid_a that_o the_o favour_n which_o our_o bless_a lord_n have_v do_v i_o may_v fallout_a to_o be_v illusion_n and_o in_o fine_a i_o then_o remain_v with_o a_o very_a great_a obscuritic_n of_o mind_n but_o now_o whilst_o i_o be_v in_o this_o pain_n our_o lord_n begin_v to_o speak_v to_o i_o and_o tell_v i_o that_o i_o must_v not_o be_v thus_o afflict_v but_o that_o find_v myself_o in_o that_o case_n i_o may_v well_o understand_v even_o thereby_o in_o how_o great_a misery_n i_o must_v remain_v if_o once_o he_o shall_v depart_v from_o i_o and_o that_o there_o be_v to_o be_v no_o security_n at_o all_o as_o long_o as_o we_o shall_v continue_v in_o this_o world_n i_o be_v also_o give_v to_o understand_v how_o well_o our_o labour_n be_v employ_v in_o this_o strife_n and_o war_n since_o it_o will_v not_o fail_v to_o be_v follow_v with_o so_o high_a a_o reward_n and_o i_o think_v our_o bless_a lord_n have_v compassion_n of_o they_o who_o live_v in_o this_o world_n but_o that_o i_o must_v not_o think_v that_o he_o have_v forget_v i_o yea_o and_o that_o he_o will_v never_o leave_v i_o but_o yet_o so_o as_o that_o still_o i_o must_v also_o do_v my_o part_n in_o help_v myself_o and_o this_o do_v our_o bless_a lord_n declare_v to_o i_o with_o a_o kind_n of_o tender_a compassion_n and_o regalo_n accompany_v with_o certain_a word_n whereby_o so_o high_a favour_n be_v do_v i_o as_o i_o need_v not_o stand_v here_o to_o relate_v and_o these_o other_o which_o follow_v here_o now_o his_o divine_a majesty_n say_v also_o often_o to_o i_o with_o demonstration_n of_o most_o particular_a love_n thou_o be_v now_o grow_v to_o be_v i_o and_o i_o be_o thou_o and_o those_o word_n which_o i_o be_o ever_o wont_a to_o say_v and_o to_o my_o think_n i_o say_v they_o with_o much_o truth_n be_v these_o which_o follow_v what_o care_v i_o o_o my_o lord_n for_o myself_o but_o only_o for_o thou_o but_o i_o confess_v those_o word_n of_o he_o to_o i_o be_v of_o great_a regalo_n to_o my_o hart_n though_o yet_o withal_o they_o be_v of_o excessive_a confusion_n when_o i_o remember_v what_o kind_n of_o creature_n i_o be_o but_o hart_n it_o seem_v that_o i_o have_v need_n of_o more_o courage_n for_o the_o receive_n of_o those_o high_a favour_n then_o even_o for_o the_o endure_a of_o unspeakable_a affliction_n but_o now_o when_o these_o thing_n be_v in_o motion_n all_o the_o poor_a good_a action_n of_o my_o life_n be_v utter_o forget_v by_o i_o and_o then_o it_o be_v only_o represent_v to_o my_o mind_n how_o wicked_a i_o be_o and_o that_o without_o any_o discourse_n at_o all_o of_o my_o understanding_n so_o that_o even_o this_o also_o do_v seem_v at_o certain_a time_n to_o have_v somewhat_o of_o the_o supernatural_a in_o it_o sometime_o there_o come_v also_o upon_o i_o so_o earnest_a and_o even_o eager_a appetite_n of_o receive_v the_o bless_a sacrament_n that_o i_o know_v not_o whether_o it_o can_v be_v possible_a for_o i_o to_o express_v they_o to_o the_o full_a it_o happen_v to_o i_o one_o morning_n that_o it_o rain_v so_o extreme_o as_o to_o seem_v no_o way_n fit_a for_o i_o to_o go_v out_o of_o door_n but_o yet_o be_v once_o get_v abroad_o i_o be_v already_o grow_v also_o to_o be_v so_o far_o out_o of_o myself_o through_o that_o desire_n of_o communicate_v that_o although_o they_o have_v set_v lance_n even_o point_v and_o hold_v fast_o against_o my_o very_a breast_n i_o think_v i_o can_v have_v pass_v even_o through_o they_o all_o and_o how_o much_o more_o then_o through_o water_n and_o as_o soon_o as_o i_o arrive_v at_o church_n i_o be_v take_v with_o a_o very_a great_a rapt_v for_o i_o think_v the_o very_a heaven_n be_v open_a and_o not_o by_o one_o overture_n only_o as_o i_o have_v see_v it_o at_o other_o time_n and_o i_o see_v another_o also_o above_o that_o upon_o which_o i_o understand_v by_o way_n of_o a_o certain_a notice_n which_o i_o be_o not_o able_a to_o express_v the_o divinity_n itself_o to_o be_v though_o yet_o i_o see_v not_o the_o divinity_n and_o i_o think_v it_o be_v uphold_v by_o certain_a mysterious_a beast_n and_o i_o be_v
other_o of_o like_a condition_n that_o the_o conversation_n which_o she_o use_v and_o the_o contentment_n which_o she_o take_v be_v lawful_a that_o she_o 7._o conceive_v not_o herself_o to_o be_v in_o mortal_a sin_n for_o if_o she_o have_v know_v any_o such_o thing_n of_o herself_o she_o will_v never_o have_v endure_v it_o that_o she_o be_v ever_o a_o great_a 6._o enemy_n to_o detraction_n yea_o and_o that_o the_o world_n be_v ever_o safe_a in_o that_o kind_n when_o she_o be_v present_a for_o every_o body_n who_o know_v she_o know_v also_o that_o she_o will_v not_o so_o much_o as_o endure_v that_o this_o sin_n shall_v ever_o be_v commit_v in_o her_o hear_n that_o she_o be_v never_o any_o way_n subject_a to_o 22._o envy_n and_o that_o she_o have_v also_o never_o observe_v herself_o to_o offend_v almighty_a god_n either_o by_o hypocrisy_n or_o even_o so_o much_o as_o vainglory_n that_o she_o always_o stick_v so_o very_o fast_o to_o the_o truth_n of_o holy_a scripture_n and_o even_o to_o 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understanding_n which_o be_v but_o mere_o humane_a but_o so_o also_o be_v there_o in_o finit_a other_o particular_n in_o the_o ecclesiastical_a history_n concern_v other_o saint_n which_o howsoever_o they_o seem_v and_o be_v strange_a yea_o and_o much_o more_o strange_a than_o these_o yet_o be_v they_o general_o and_o most_o just_o admit_v to_o the_o degree_n of_o moral_a beleif_n for_o as_o we_o catholic_n be_v instruct_v &_o teach_v that_o on_o the_o one_o side_n we_o must_v not_o be_v so_o light_a or_o rather_o in_o fine_a to_o the_o end_n that_o thing_n may_v have_v their_o right_a name_n not_o so_o very_o weak_a and_o foolish_a as_o to_o believe_v strange_a and_o supernatural_a thing_n without_o a_o mighty_a deal_n of_o authority_n and_o proof_n truth_n yea_o and_o the_o church_n herself_o do_v most_o bitter_o excommunicate_v whatsoever_o creature_n in_o the_o world_n who_o shall_v know_o propound_v any_o false_a thing_n of_o this_o kind_n to_o be_v believe_v so_o on_o the_o 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no_o mean_n lose_v myself_o outright_o my_o father_n and_o my_o sister_n be_v much_o trouble_v about_o this_o friendship_n of_o i_o and_o reprove_v i_o for_o it_o very_o often_o but_o yet_o they_o be_v unable_a to_o remove_v the_o occasion_n of_o her_o come_n to_o we_o at_o time_n their_o diligence_n be_v ever_o wont_a to_o fall_v short_a for_o my_o sagacity_n &_o sharp_a conceit_n in_o contrive_v any_o thing_n which_o may_v be_v ill_a be_v very_o great_a i_o be_o sometime_o upon_o this_o occasion_n in_o a_o wonder_n at_o how_o much_o hurt_n ill_a company_n may_v do_v and_o if_o it_o have_v not_o be_v my_o own_o case_n i_o can_v hardly_o believe_v it_o especial_o when_o it_o occurr_n in_o the_o time_n of_o innocent_a and_o fresh_a youth_n for_o then_o do_v it_o great_a hurt_n and_o i_o can_v wish_v that_o parent_n will_v take_v some_o warning_n by_o i_o that_o so_o they_o may_v consider_v it_o well_o for_o the_o truth_n be_v that_o this_o conversation_n do_v work_v such_o a_o entire_a 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with_o any_o certainty_n in_o regard_n that_o i_o have_v so_o tender_a a_o care_n of_o myself_o in_o point_n of_o honour_n all_o my_o diligence_n be_v employ_v upon_o keep_v thing_n secret_a and_o i_o consider_v not_o the_o while_n how_o impossible_a a_o thing_n it_o be_v to_o hide_v any_o thing_n from_o he_o by_o who_o all_o thing_n be_v see_v o_o my_o god_n what_o a_o mischief_n do_v it_o bring_v upon_o the_o world_n to_o make_v light_n of_o this_o and_o to_o think_v that_o such_o thing_n can_v be_v secret_a as_o be_v repugnant_a to_o thy_o will_n for_o my_o part_n i_o hold_v it_o for_o certain_a that_o many_o great_a sin_n will_v be_v forbear_v if_o once_o we_o will_v grow_v to_o understand_v that_o the_o business_n do_v not_o consist_v in_o save_v ourselves_o harmless_a from_o man_n but_o in_o keep_v ourselves_o very_o far_o from_o digust_v almighty_a god_n during_o the_o first_o eight_o day_n of_o my_o be_v in_o the_o monastery_n i_o feit_z it_o much_o even_o for_o itself_o but_o 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that_o house_n and_o of_o great_a purity_n and_o observance_n and_o recollection_n but_o yet_o notwithstanding_o all_o this_o the_o devil_n give_v not_o over_o to_o tempt_v i_o and_o he_o find_v out_o such_o person_n from_o abroad_o as_o may_v disquiet_v i_o with_o certain_a message_n of_o they_o but_o in_o regard_n there_o be_v no_o great_a opportunity_n for_o those_o thing_n they_o quick_o cease_v and_o my_o soul_n begin_v again_o to_o accustom_v itself_o to_o the_o good_a impression_n of_o my_o first_o youth_n and_o i_o see_v how_o great_a favour_n almighty_a god_n do_v they_o who_o he_o cast_v into_o their_o company_n who_o be_v good_a and_o it_o seem_v as_o if_o the_o divine_a majesty_n have_v go_v look_v and_o yet_o look_v again_o by_o what_o mean_v he_o may_v bring_v i_o back_o to_o himself_o bless_a be_v thou_o o_o lord_n who_o do_v endure_v i_o so_o long_o amen_n one_o particular_a there_o be_v which_o it_o seem_v may_v turn_v a_o little_a to_o my_o excuse_n if_o i_o have_v not_o be_v guilty_a of_o so_o many_o fault_n and_o it_o be_v that_o the_o conversation_n which_o i_o hold_v be_v with_o one_o who_o by_o way_n of_o marriage_n seem_v to_o make_v it_o probable_a to_o end_v well_o and_o i_o inform_v myself_o about_o it_o of_o my_o confessarius_fw-la and_o of_o other_o also_o with_o who_o i_o consult_v in_o many_o thing_n they_o tell_v i_o that_o i_o offend_v not_o almighty_a god_n but_o now_o one_o of_o the_o religious_a be_v lodge_v where_o we_o who_o be_v secular_a person_n be_v also_o accommodate_v and_o it_o seem_v that_o our_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o
that_o i_o shall_v shed_v those_o tear_n do_v show_v i_o favour_n enough_o for_o his_o part_n since_o i_o forget_v the_o sense_n and_o tenderness_n thereof_o so_o soon_o and_o i_o recommend_v myself_o to_o that_o glorious_a saint_n that_o she_o may_v help_v i_o to_o obtain_v pardon_n of_o my_o sin_n but_o i_o conceive_v that_o i_o profit_v the_o more_o in_o that_o last_o time_n when_o i_o pray_v before_o the_o picture_n because_o then_o note_n i_o be_v grow_v into_o very_o great_a distrust_n of_o myself_o and_o place_v all_o my_o confidence_n in_o almighty_a god_n to_o my_o think_n i_o tell_v he_o then_o that_o i_o will_v blessing_n never_o rise_v from_o thence_o till_o he_o grant_v i_o the_o humble_a suit_n which_o i_o have_v make_v and_o i_o be_o full_o of_o opinion_n that_o it_o do_v i_o good_a for_o i_o have_v go_v improve_v much_o ever_o since_o that_o time_n now_o i_o continue_v to_o hold_v this_o manner_n of_o prayer_n because_o not_o be_v able_a to_o discourse_v with_o my_o understanding_n i_o procure_v to_o represent_v christ_n our_o lord_n to_o my_o mind_n as_o be_v then_o within_o my_o very_a self_n and_o jever_n also_o find_v it_o to_o prove_v better_o with_o i_o in_o my_o opinion_n when_o i_o conceive_v myself_o to_o find_v he_o all_o alone_a for_o he_o be_v alone_o and_o i_o be_v so_o much_o afflict_v i_o think_v he_o be_v to_o admit_v i_o yea_o and_o to_o assist_v i_o too_o as_o a_o person_n who_o be_v in_o necessity_n and_o misery_n of_o this_o kind_n of_o simplicity_n i_o have_v many_o and_o in_o particular_a i_o use_v to_o find_v myself_o very_o well_o in_o the_o prayer_n of_o the_o garden_n yea_o and_o i_o be_v in_o my_o kingdom_n when_o i_o may_v accompany_v he_o there_o i_o think_v also_o much_o upon_o that_o sweat_n together_o with_o the_o great_a affliction_n which_o he_o sustain_v then_o and_o i_o wish_v that_o i_o may_v have_v be_v permit_v to_o wipe_v that_o most_o painful_a sweat_n from_o his_o face_n but_o i_o remember_v how_o in_o fine_a i_o never_o dare_v resolve_v to_o presume_v to_o do_v it_o so_o grievous_o do_v my_o sin_n represent_v themselves_o to_o i_o howsoever_o i_o remain_v there_o by_o he_o as_o long_o as_o my_o thought_n will_v give_v i_o leave_v but_o the_o truth_n be_v i_o have_v store_n of_o such_o as_o torment_v i_o most_o night_n during_o many_o year_n before_o i_o go_v to_o rest_v and_o when_o i_o be_v recommend_v myself_o to_o god_n ere_o i_o sleep_v i_o ever_o think_v a_o little_a upon_o this_o passage_n of_o his_o prayer_n in_o the_o garden_n and_o that_o even_o before_o i_o be_v a_o religious_a woman_n for_o they_o tell_v i_o that_o i_o may_v gain_v many_o indulgence_n by_o it_o and_o at_o least_o i_o be_o of_o opinion_n that_o my_o soul_n get_v much_o by_o this_o mean_n because_o thus_o i_o begin_v to_o make_v mental_a prayer_n even_o without_o express_o know_v what_o it_o be_v and_o then_o it_o be_v as_o usual_a for_o i_o not_o to_o omit_v this_o custom_n as_o not_o to_o fail_v of_o blessing_n myself_o with_o the_o sign_n of_o the_o cross_n before_o sleep_v but_o to_o return_v to_o what_o i_o be_v say_v of_o the_o torment_n which_o my_o thought_n be_v wont_a to_o give_v i_o this_o manner_n of_o proceed_v without_o discourse_n of_o the_o understanding_n have_v this_o in_o it_o that_o the_o soul_n must_v both_o gain_v much_o and_o loose_a much_o i_o mean_v all_o consideration_n and_o discourse_n be_v lose_v for_o as_o for_o profit_v they_o profit_v much_o who_o use_v it_o since_o all_o such_o prayer_n be_v love._n but_o to_o arrive_v to_o this_o point_n &_o pitch_n it_o will_v cost_v every_o body_n a_o great_a deal_n of_o pain_n except_o such_o as_o our_o lord_n vouchsafe_v to_o conduct_v in_o a_o short_a time_n to_o quiet_a prayer_n of_o which_o kind_n i_o know_v some_o and_o for_o they_o who_o go_v by_o this_o way_n it_o will_v be_v good_a to_o have_v some_o book_n or_o other_o at_o hand_n that_o so_o they_o may_v recollect_v themselves_o quick_o as_o for_o i_o it_o do_v i_o also_o good_a to_o look_v upon_o field_n or_o flower_n or_o water_n for_o in_o these_o thing_n do_v i_o find_v the_o memory_n of_o our_o creator_n as_o i_o also_o do_v in_o my_o own_o ingratitude_n and_o sin_n all_o which_o particular_n be_v wont_a to_o awake_v i_o and_o recollect_v i_o and_o to_o serve_v i_o in_o stead_n of_o a_o book_n for_o as_o for_o heaven_n and_o such_o high_a thing_n as_o that_o my_o understanding_n be_v so_o dull_a that_o i_o can_v never_o i_o say_v never_o be_v able_a to_o have_v or_o frame_v any_o imagination_n or_o fancy_n concern_v they_o till_o our_o lord_n represent_v they_o to_o i_o by_o other_o mean_n and_o i_o have_v so_o very_o little_a ability_n to_o represent_v thing_n to_o my_o mind_n by_o way_n of_o the_o understanding-part_n that_o my_o imagination_n serve_v i_o not_o to_o work_v upon_o any_o thing_n but_o only_o what_o i_o see_v with_o my_o eye_n which_o yet_o other_o be_v able_a enough_o to_o do_v who_o know_v how_o to_o form_v certain_a representation_n of_o thing_n to_o themselves_o upon_o which_o they_o can_v recollect_v their_o thought_n for_o my_o part_n i_o can_v only_o think_v upon_o christ_n our_o lord_n as_o man_n but_o yet_o it_o be_v very_o true_a that_o how_o much_o soever_o i_o read_v of_o his_o beauty_n or_o see_v his_o picture_n yet_o can_v i_o never_o represent_v he_o to_o myself_o but_o just_a so_o as_o one_o who_o be_v either_o in_o the_o dark_a or_o else_o stark_o blind_a may_v be_v able_a at_o that_o very_a time_n to_o represent_v any_o other_o person_n to_o himself_o for_o though_o such_o a_o one_o may_v speak_v with_o such_o another_o &_o know_v that_o he_o be_v with_o that_o person_n because_o he_o be_v sure_a that_o the_o say_a person_n be_v there_o yet_o in_o fine_a he_o do_v but_o understand_v and_o believe_v he_o to_o be_v there_o for_o he_o see_v he_o not_o and_o in_o this_o sort_n do_v it_o happen_v to_o i_o when_o i_o think_v of_o our_o lord_n upon_o this_o reason_n be_v i_o so_o great_a a_o friend_n and_o favourer_n of_o the_o use_n of_o image_n or_o holy_a picture_n miserable_a creature_n be_v they_o who_o lose_v this_o benefit_n through_o their_o own_o fault_n and_o it_o appear_v also_o well_o enough_o that_o they_o do_v not_o love_v our_o lord_n for_o if_o they_o love_v he_o they_o will_v be_v glad_a to_o see_v his_o picture_n as_o here_o it_o give_v we_o contentment_n so_o see_v the_o picture_n of_o those_o person_n who_o we_o love_v about_o this_o time_n they_o give_v i_o the_o confession_n of_o s._n augustin_n and_o it_o seem_v our_o lord_n do_v so_o ordain_v it_o for_o neither_o do_v i_o procure_v they_o nor_o have_v i_o ever_o see_v they_o i_o bear_v a_o very_a great_a affection_n to_o this_o saint_n because_o the_o monastery_n where_o i_o live_v before_o i_o grow_v to_o be_v religious_a be_v of_o his_o order_n and_o beside_o in_o regard_n that_o he_o have_v be_v a_o sinner_n for_o i_o always_o find_v particular_a comfort_n in_o those_o saint_n who_o after_o have_v be_v sinner_n be_v convert_v to_o our_o lord_n as_o conceave_a that_o i_o shall_v have_v help_n by_o their_o mean_n and_o that_o our_o lord_n may_v also_o be_v induce_v to_o forgive_v i_o as_o he_o have_v do_v they_o save_o only_o that_o i_o be_v discomfort_a by_o this_o consideration_n as_o i_o have_v say_v before_o that_o our_o lord_n call_v they_o but_o once_o and_o they_o return_v not_o to_o fall_v from_o he_o any_o more_o but_o as_o for_o i_o i_o have_v fall_v so_o often_o that_o it_o afflict_v i_o to_o the_o very_a hart_n but_o yet_o still_o when_o i_o consider_v the_o love_n he_o bear_v i_o i_o grow_v to_o be_v encourage_v again_o for_o i_o never_o disinherit_v his_o mercy_n though_o i_o doubt_v of_o myself_o very_o often_o o_o my_o dear_a lord_n how_o mighty_o do_v that_o obstinate_a stiffness_n amaze_v i_o to_o which_o my_o soul_n must_v needs_o have_v be_v subject_a whilst_o it_o receive_v so_o many_o help_n at_o thy_o hand_n and_o all_o in_o vain_a and_o it_o strike_v i_o with_o much_o fear_n to_o consider_v how_o little_a i_o be_v able_a to_o win_v upon_o myself_o all_o that_o while_n and_o how_o i_o remain_v still_o bind_v up_o from_o resolve_v to_o give_v myself_o whole_o to_o thou_o but_o when_o once_o i_o begin_v to_o read_v the_o say_a confession_n i_o think_v that_o case_n which_o have_v be_v he_o be_v also_o now_o direct_o i_o own_o and_o i_o recommend_v myself_o much_o to_o that_o glorious_a saint_n but_o when_o i_o come_v afterward_o to_o his_o conversion_n and_o read_v how_o he_o hear_v that_o voice_n
here_o of_o what_o it_o may_v import_v if_o such_o person_n be_v to_o preach_v or_o teach_v other_o for_o than_o it_o will_v be_v fit_a to_o serve_v themselves_o of_o that_o advantage_n towards_o the_o assist_a of_o their_o neighbour_n to_o that_o good_a and_o to_o help_v also_o poor_a people_n who_o know_v very_o little_a like_v i_o for_o charity_n be_v a_o very_a great_a matter_n and_o so_o be_v this_o help_a soul_n forward_o so_o that_o always_o it_o be_v do_v pure_o for_o god_n but_o now_o in_o these_o time_n of_o possess_v this_o great_a quiet_a let_v the_o soul_n be_v suffer_v to_o remain_v in_o rest_n with_o her_o true_a repose_n and_o let_v learning_n be_v lay_v aside_o for_o time_n will_v come_v afterward_o when_o it_o will_v fallout_a to_o be_v hold_v in_o so_o high_a account_n that_o they_o will_v by_o no_o mean_n have_v miss_v that_o treasure_n of_o knowledge_n if_o it_o be_v but_o only_o for_o the_o power_n it_o give_v they_o to_o do_v more_o and_o better_a service_n to_o his_o divine_a majesty_n for_o it_o assist_v very_o much_o in_o order_n to_o that_o excellent_a end_n but_o yet_o believe_v i_o still_o that_o in_o the_o presence_n of_o that_o infinite_a wisdom_n a_o very_a little_a attention_n to_o exercise_v humility_n &_o one_o single_a act_n of_o that_o virtue_n be_v more_o worth_a than_o all_o the_o knowledge_n of_o the_o whole_a world_n for_o here_o there_o be_v no_o room_n for_o dispute_v of_o question_n or_o argue_v case_n but_o only_o to_o know_v with_o truth_n and_o plainness_n what_o we_o be_v &_o to_o represent_v ourselves_o with_o great_a simplicity_n in_o the_o sight_n of_o almighty_a god_n who_o desire_n that_o the_o soul_n shall_v make_v herself_o as_o very_o ignorant_a and_o silly_a as_o in_o very_a deed_n she_o be_v when_o once_o she_o come_v to_o appear_v in_o his_o presence_n since_o his_o divine_a majesty_n descend_v so_o much_o below_o himself_o as_o to_o endure_v she_o near_o his_o own_o person_n all_o we_o be_v that_o which_o we_o be_v the_o understanding_n will_v also_o move_v itself_o here_o to_o give_v certain_a thanks_n to_o almighty_a god_n which_o may_v be_v handsome_o order_v and_o compose_v but_o the_o will_n with_o a_o certain_a kind_n of_o quiet_a and_o peace_n and_o with_o a_o not_o dare_v like_o the_o publican_n of_o the_o gospel_n so_o much_o as_o lift-up_a her_o eye_n pay_v yet_o more_o retribution_n of_o thanks_n than_o the_o understanding_n perhaps_o know_v how_o to_o do_v with_o revolve_v all_o the_o rhetoric_n in_o the_o world_n but_o in_o fine_a we_o be_v not_o total_o in_o this_o case_n to_o forbear_v to_o make_v mental_a prayer_n no_o nor_o yet_o sometime_o to_o use_v some_o vocal_a word_n if_o we_o will_v and_o can_v and_o i_o say_v can_v because_o if_o the_o quiet_v be_v great_a and_o deep_a they_o will_v hardly_o enough_o be_v able_a to_o speak_v without_o make_v it_o cost_v they_o much_o pain_n in_o bad_a my_o opinion_n we_o may_v well_o understand_v when_o this_o be_v of_o the_o spirit_n of_o almighty_a god_n and_o when_o it_o happen_v to_o be_v procure_v by_o ourselves_o though_o it_o be_v upon_o a_o beginning_n of_o that_o devotion_n which_o god_n give_v us._n for_o when_o as_o i_o have_v say_v we_o will_v needs_o resolve_v ourselves_o of_o ourselves_o to_o procure_v to_o pass_v on_o to_o this_o possess_n the_o quiet_a of_o the_o will_n it_o use_v to_o work_v no_o good_a effect_n at_o all_o but_o quick_o end_v and_o leave_v nothing_o but_o dryness_n behind_o it_o and_o if_o it_o chance_v to_o proceed_v from_o the_o devil_n a_o soul_n which_o be_v exercise_v in_o this_o kind_n will_n i_o believe_v grow_v easy_o to_o understand_v it_o for_o in_o that_o case_n it_o will_v leave_v a_o certain_a kind_n of_o disquiet_n and_o little_a affection_n to_o humility_n and_o a_o untoward_a disposition_n in_o order_n to_o the_o produce_v of_o those_o effect_n which_o the_o spirit_n of_o almighty_a god_n be_v wont_a to_o breed_v nor_o do_v it_o also_o leave_v either_o light_n in_o the_o understanding_n or_o a_o constant_a love_n of_o truth_n in_o the_o will._n and_o this_o will_v do_v a_o soul_n either_o very_a little_a hurt_n or_o none_o at_o all_o if_o she_o direct_v and_o address_v the_o suavitie_n and_o delight_n which_o then_o she_o feel_v to_o the_o glory_n of_o almighty_a god_n and_o if_o she_o lodge_v her_o thought_n and_o desire_n upon_o he_o as_o i_o have_v former_o advise_v the_o devil_n will_v gain_v little_a by_o the_o bargain_n nay_o rather_o almighty_a god_n will_v so_o dispose_v of_o thing_n that_o he_o shall_v loose_v much_o even_o by_o that_o very_a delight_n which_o he_o cause_v in_o her_o soul_n for_o this_o very_a delight_n shall_v be_v a_o mean_n to_o make_v that_o soul_n which_o conceive_v that_o it_o proceed_v from_o god_n to_o come_v again_o often_o to_o prayer_n with_o desire_n to_o receive_v more_o delight_n or_o else_o if_o the_o soul_n be_v very_o humble_a and_o not_o withal_o very_o curious_a nor_o very_o much_o interest_v in_o take_v delight_n though_o even_o they_o be_v spiritual_a but_o be_v indeed_o a_o true_a friend_n to_o the_o cross_n she_o will_v make_v very_o little_a account_n of_o any_o gust_n which_o the_o devil_n can_v give_v she_o which_o yet_o she_o shall_v never_o be_v able_a to_o do_v if_o indeed_o it_o be_v the_o spirit_n of_o god_n for_o in_o that_o case_n she_o will_v ever_o be_v sure_a to_o hold_v it_o in_o very_o high_a account_n now_o when_o the_o devil_n propound_v such_o a_o business_n since_o he_o be_v all_o make_v of_o lie_n whensoever_o he_o see_v a_o soul_n abase_v and_o humble_v herself_o by_o mean_n of_o that_o delight_n and_o gust_n which_o she_o receave_v for_o indeed_o we_o be_v to_o have_v very_o great_a care_n to_o procure_v to_o prove_v very_o humble_a upon_o all_o the_o occasion_n of_o prayer_n and_o gust_n the_o devil_n will_v not_o return_v to_o tempt_v we_o very_o often_o when_o he_o consider_v how_o much_o he_o lose_v by_o the_o endeavour_n for_o this_o reason_n and_o upon_o many_o other_o consideration_n do_v i_o advertise_v in_o the_o first_o degree_n and_o state_n of_o prayer_n which_o answer_v to_o the_o first_o way_n of_o draw_v water_n in_o the_o garden_n that_o it_o be_v a_o all_o principal_a business_n when_o the_o soul_n be_v enter_v first_o upon_o prayer_n to_o begin_v to_o untie_v herself_o from_o the_o desire_n of_o all_o kind_n of_o sensible_a contentment_n and_o to_o enter_v upon_o this_o only_o resolution_n to_o help_v our_o lord_n jesus_n to_o carry_v his_o cross_n like_o good_a cavalier_n who_o be_v resolve_v to_o serve_v their_o king_n without_o wage_n since_o they_o be_v so_o sure_a of_o he_o as_o they_o be_v and_o we_o be_v also_o still_o to_o carry_v our_o eye_n upon_o that_o true_a and_o everlasting_a kingdom_n which_o we_o procure_v to_o acquire_v it_o be_v a_o very_a great_a point_n to_o have_v this_o ever_o in_o view_n and_o especial_o in_o the_o beginning_n for_o afterward_o it_o be_v see_v so_o very_o clear_o that_o it_o may_v rather_o be_v fit_a to_o forget_v it_o to_o the_o end_n that_o we_o may_v be_v able_a even_o to_o live_v then_o procure_v to_o be_v remember_v that_o the_o world_n be_v to_o last_v very_o little_a and_o that_o all_o in_o fine_a be_v nothing_o and_o that_o here_o the_o ease_n and_o rest_n which_o we_o can_v have_v be_v to_o be_v esteem_v for_o nothing_o this_o may_v seem_v to_o be_v a_o very_a poor_a and_o base_a consideration_n and_o so_o indeed_o it_o be_v for_o they_o who_o have_v proceed_v to_o more_o perfection_n will_v take_v it_o for_o a_o affront_n and_o will_v even_o blush_v and_o be_v ashamed_a among_o themselves_o if_o they_o think_v they_o forsake_v the_o good_n of_o this_o world_n because_o they_o must_v come_v once_o to_o have_v a_o end_n for_o although_o those_o good_n be_v to_o last_v always_o they_o will_v yet_o rejoice_v to_o leave_v they_o for_o the_o love_n of_o our_o lord_n and_o still_o the_o more_o perfect_a they_o be_v they_o will_v rejoice_v so_o much_o the_o more_o yea_o &_o the_o more_o also_o will_v they_o rejoice_v the_o long_o they_o believe_v they_o be_v to_o last_o in_o these_o man_n this_o love_n be_v already_o growne-up_a to_o strength_n and_o it_o be_v this_o which_o work_v most_o but_o for_o such_o as_o be_v but_o beginner_n it_o be_v a_o point_n of_o high_a importance_n and_o they_o must_v by_o no_o mean_n hold_v it_o for_o low_a to_o be_v content_a to_o leave_v all_o gust_n for_o god_n for_o the_o benefit_n which_o be_v gain_v by_o this_o consideration_n be_v great_a and_o therefore_o do_v i_o advise_v it_o so_o much_o nay_o even_o those_o other_o who_o be_v most_o elevate_v and_o accomplish_v in_o prayer_n will_v have_v
whosoever_o be_v of_o experience_n may_v very_o easy_o discern_v and_o now_o i_o have_v set_v down_o the_o effect_n which_o those_o rapt_n that_o proceed_v from_o the_o spirit_n of_o almighty_a god_n be_v wont_a to_o produce_v it_o be_v true_a that_o some_o of_o they_o do_v it_o more_o and_o some_o less_o i_o say_v less_o because_o though_o in_o the_o beginning_n they_o work_v yet_o then_o the_o effect_n be_v not_o see_v experimental_o by_o way_n of_o outward_a expression_n nor_o can_v it_o be_v yet_o so_o well_o perceive_v that_o they_o have_v they_o and_o beside_o the_o perfection_n thereof_o go_v increase_v and_o the_o soul_n go_v procure_v that_o there_o may_v now_o be_v no_o memory_n of_o imperfection_n which_o will_v appear_v if_o there_o be_v any_o like_v so_o many_o cobweb_n and_o this_o now_o require_v some_o time_n and_o by_o how_o much_o the_o more_o humility_n and_o the_o love_n of_o our_o lord_n increase_v in_o the_o soul_n so_o much_o the_o more_o sweet_a and_o fresh_a odour_n will_v these_o flower_n of_o virtue_n be_v sure_a to_o give_v both_o to_o themselves_o and_o other_o and_o it_o be_v most_o certain_o true_a that_o our_o lord_n know_v how_o to_o work_v so_o well_o upon_o any_o soul_n in_o one_o of_o these_o rapt_n that_o there_o will_v not_o much_o remain_v for_o the_o soul_n herself_o to_o work_v and_o labour_n in_o towards_o the_o acquire_n of_o perfection_n for_o no_o creature_n be_v able_a to_o believe_v without_o direct_a experience_n upon_o himself_o how_o much_o it_o please_v our_o lord_n to_o bestow_v upon_o a_o soul_n in_o such_o a_o occasion_n as_o this_o nor_o be_v there_o any_o kind_n of_o diligence_n of_o we_o which_o can_v in_o my_o opinion_n attain_v it_o i_o say_v not_o but_o that_o by_o the_o favour_n of_o our_o lord_n such_o as_o employ_v themselves_o many_o year_n by_o those_o way_n which_o they_o prescribe_v who_o write_v of_o prayer_n both_o concern_v the_o beginning_n and_o proceed_v thereof_o may_v arrive_v to_o 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and_o though_o sometime_o there_o be_v no_o disposition_n in_o she_o at_o all_o to_o receive_v it_o he_o yet_o dispose_v also_o the_o same_o to_o receive_v that_o benefit_n and_o blessing_n which_o his_o divine_a majesty_n be_v please_v to_o impart_v so_o that_o he_o give_v it_o not_o always_o because_o the_o gardener_n have_v deserve_v it_o by_o dress_v up_o and_o cultivate_a his_o garden_n well_o though_o yet_o it_o be_v very_o certain_a that_o whosoever_o do_v this_o as_o he_o ought_v and_o do_v procure_v withal_o to_o untie_v his_o whole_a affection_n from_o thing_n of_o this_o world_n will_v never_o fail_v to_o be_v regale_v by_o he_o but_o sometime_o because_o it_o be_v his_o pleasure_n as_o i_o have_v say_v to_o show_v his_o power_n and_o greatness_n even_o upon_o the_o most_o barren_a soil_n and_o to_o prepare_v it_o for_o the_o receive_v all_o kind_n of_o good_a so_o that_o now_o she_o seem_v not_o in_o some_o sort_n to_o have_v so_o much_o as_o a_o power_n to_o return_v to_o live_v in_o offence_n of_o almighty_a god_n as_o she_o be_v wont_a but_o she_o have_v her_o thought_n so_o habituate_v to_o understand_v what_o be_v truth_n indeed_o that_o all_o the_o rest_n seem_v but_o a_o foolery_n and_o fit_a to_o make_v sport_n for_o child_n she_o smile_v also_o in_o herself_o sometime_o when_o she_o find_v certain_a grave_a person_n who_o live_v in_o the_o exercise_n of_o prayer_n and_o religion_n make_v account_n of_o certain_a foolish_a point_n of_o honour_n which_o such_o a_o soul_n as_o this_o hold_v now_o to_o be_v direct_o under_o her_o foot_n some_o will_v say_v that_o this_o be_v but_o discretion_n and_o a_o preserve_n forsooth_o of_o their_o dignity_n and_o rank_n that_o so_o afterward_o they_o may_v be_v able_a to_o do_v the_o more_o good_a but_o that_o other_o soul_n understand_v very_o well_o that_o they_o may_v have_v do_v almighty_a god_n more_o service_n in_o one_o day_n if_o they_o will_v have_v make_v their_o authority_n and_o honour_n yield_v and_o shrink_v for_o the_o love_n of_o almighty_a god_n than_o they_o will_v ever_o do_v in_o ten_o year_n by_o uphold_v and_o authorise_v the_o same_o after_o their_o way_n but_o thus_o do_v this_o kind_n of_o soul_n lead_v a_o certain_a troublesome_a life_n and_o be_v ever_o subject_a to_o the_o cross_n though_o yet_o ever_o go_v on_o with_o increase_n and_o though_o the_o person_n who_o use_v to_o treat_v with_o she_o conceive_v she_o sometime_o to_o be_v even_o already_o at_o the_o very_a very_a top_n of_o perfection_n yet_o do_v they_o find_v short_o after_o that_o still_o she_o grow_v to_o be_v more_o improve_v for_o our_o lord_n go_v ever_o favour_v she_o more_o and_o more_o god_n himself_o be_v in_o effect_n her_o soul_n and_o it_o be_v he_o who_o have_v already_o take_v the_o charge_n of_o she_o into_o his_o hand_n and_o he_o shine_v even_o bright_o in_o she_o and_o seem_v to_o be_v assist_v she_o after_o a_o kind_n of_o evident_a manner_n both_o that_o she_o may_v not_o offend_v he_o and_o by_o continual_o also_o favour_v and_o stir_v she_o still_o up_o to_o serve_v he_o when_o once_o my_o soul_n arrive_v so_o far_o as_o that_o almighty_a god_n may_v be_v please_v to_o do_v she_o this_o great_a favour_n my_o misery_n and_o sin_n do_v cease_v even_o all_o at_o once_o and_o our_o lord_n give_v i_o strength_n to_o quit_v they_o and_o it_o move_v i_o no_o more_o to_o be_v afterward_o in_o those_o occasion_n of_o imperfection_n and_o with_o person_n who_o have_v former_o be_v wont_a to_o to_o bring_v distraction_n upon_o i_o then_o if_o i_o have_v not_o be_v there_o at_o all_o nay_o rather_o that_o which_o be_v wont_a to_o damnifve_v i_o grow_v to_o assist_v i_o now_o and_o all_o thing_n be_v now_o fit_a mean_n to_o make_v i_o know_v god_n more_o and_o to_o love_v he_o better_o and_o to_o see_v how_o deep_o i_o be_v oblige_v to_o he_o and_o to_o make_v i_o in_o fine_a very_o sorry_a for_o what_o i_o have_v be_v but_o yet_o i_o well_o understand_v withal_o that_o this_o come_v no_o way_n from_o i_o nor_o have_v i_o grow_v to_o gain_v it_o by_o any_o diligence_n of_o my_o own_o nor_o indeed_o have_v i_o even_o have_v time_n for_o it_o but_o only_o his_o divine_a majesty_n through_o the_o mere_a and_o only_o motive_n of_o his_o own_o goodness_n have_v give_v i_o strength_n for_o this_o purpose_n from_o the_o time_n when_o our_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o afford_v i_o the_o favour_n of_o these_o rapt_n this_o strength_n have_v go_v on_o with_o increase_n and_o he_o have_v also_o hold_v i_o so_o fast_o with_o his_o hand_n that_o i_o may_v not_o return_v back_o again_o any_o more_o and_o now_o i_o think_v that_o it_o be_v nothing_o at_o all_o which_o i_o do_v on_o my_o part_n but_o i_o understand_v in_o a_o very_a evident_a manner_n that_o our_o lord_n be_v he_o who_o work_v and_o therefore_o i_o be_o apt_a to_o be_v of_o opinion_n that_o the_o person_n to_o who_o our_o lord_n do_v show_v these_o favour_n suppose_v ever_o that_o with_o all_o humility_n and_o fear_v he_o will_v understand_v and_o acknowledge_v that_o it_o be_v our_o lord_n himself_o who_o do_v they_o and_o that_o in_o effect_n we_o do_v nothing_o at_o all_o in_o the_o business_n may_v put_v himself_o into_o any_o company_n and_o that_o how_o distract_v and_o vicious_a soever_o it_o be_v it_o will_v not_o move_v or_o even_o concern_v he_o but_o that_o rather_o it_o will_v be_v of_o help_n to_o he_o and_o minister_v he_o some_o occasion_n or_o other_o whereby_o he_o may_v reap_v more_o advantage_n for_o his_o own_o good_a for_o these_o be_v already_o make_v strong_a soul_n which_o our_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o
benediction_n and_o he_o will_v address_v your_o life_n by_o your_o meditation_n upon_o he_o for_o he_o be_v the_o best_a original_a and_o pattern_n which_o we_o can_v possible_o have_v and_o indeed_o what_o can_v we_o desire_v more_o then_o to_o have_v so_o perfect_a a_o friend_n at_o hand_n who_o will_v never_o give_v we_o over_o in_o our_o affliction_n and_o tribalation_n as_o they_o of_o this_o world_n be_v wont_a to_o do_v most_o bless_a be_v that_o man_n who_o love_v he_o with_o all_o sincerity_n of_o truth_n and_o who_o be_v always_o carry_v he_o close_o to_o himself_o let_v we_o look_v upon_o the_o glorious_a s._n paul_n who_o seem_v as_o if_o he_o can_v not_o suffer_v that_o ever_o the_o name_n of_o jesus_n shall_v be_v able_a to_o fall_v often_o enough_o from_o his_o mouth_n as_o one_o who_o do_v not_o fail_v to_o carry_v it_o well_o imprint_v upon_o his_o hart_n and_o since_o i_o understand_v of_o that_o other_o abstract_a course_n whereof_o i_o speak_v i_o have_v reflect_v upon_o diverse_a great_a contemplative_a saint_n with_o much_o care_n and_o i_o find_v that_o they_o go_v no_o other_o way_n than_o this_o s._n francis_n she_o wes_z it_o plain_o by_o the_o wound_n s._n anthony_n of_o milan_n by_o the_o infant_n s._n bernard_n delight_v himself_o much_o in_o the_o humanity_n of_o our_o bless_a lord_n and_o so_o also_o do_v s._n katherine_n of_o sienna_n together_o with_o many_o other_o saint_n as_o your_o reverence_n know_v better_o than_o i._n this_o depart_a and_o abstract_v one_o self_n from_o all_o corporeal_a object_n shall_v as_o it_o seem_v be_v good_a since_o person_n who_o be_v so_o spiritual_a affirm_v it_o but_o yet_o in_o my_o opinion_n this_o must_v be_v understand_v of_o soul_n who_o be_v very_o proficient_a in_o spirit_n for_o till_o then_o it_o be_v evident_a enough_o that_o the_o creator_n be_v to_o be_v seek_v by_o mean_n of_o the_o creature_n but_o yet_o i_o will_v undertake_v nothing_o in_o this_o case_n since_o all_o depend_v upon_o the_o favour_n which_o our_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o show_v to_o any_o soul_n that_o which_o i_o will_v fain_o give_v to_o be_v understand_v be_v that_o the_o most_o sacred_a humanity_n of_o christ_n our_o lord_n must_v not_o be_v make_v to_o come_v into_o that_o account_n and_o let_v this_o point_n be_v well_o understand_v wherein_o i_o will_v fain_o know_v how_o to_o declare_v myself_o when_o god_n be_v please_v to_o suspend_v all_o the_o power_n of_o the_o soul_n in_o those_o kind_n of_o prayer_n which_o be_v relate_v we_o have_v see_v plain_o that_o this_o presence_n of_o christ_n our_o lord_n be_v take_v from_o we_o whether_o we_o will_v or_o no_o and_o let_v it_o then_o be_v go_v in_o a_o good_a hour_n for_o that_o kind_n of_o loss_n be_v a_o happy_a one_o whereby_o we_o come_v to_o enjoy_v more_o of_o that_o which_o we_o conceive_v ourselves_o to_o have_v lose_v for_o then_o the_o soul_n employ_v herself_o whole_o upon_o love_v he_o who_o the_o understanding_n have_v already_o endeavour_v to_o know_v and_o she_o love_v that_o which_o she_o do_v not_o full_o comprehend_v and_o now_o joy_n in_o that_o wherein_o she_o can_v not_o also_o have_v joy_v but_o only_o by_o lose_v herself_o for_o her_o great_a gain_n but_o now_o that_o we_o shall_v by_o trick_n and_o of_o sett-purpose_n accustom_v ourselves_o not_o to_o procure_v with_o our_o whole_a power_n to_o carry_v always_o in_o our_o eye_n and_o i_o will_v to_o god_n it_o be_v always_o this_o most_o sacred_a humanity_n of_o christ_n our_o lord_n this_o i_o say_v be_v that_o which_o i_o like_v not_o since_o it_o be_v a_o way_n of_o make_v the_o soul_n walk_v in_o the_o air_n as_o we_o use_v to_o say_v for_o it_o seem_v that_o she_o have_v no_o firm_a and_o stable_a restingplace_n howsoever_o she_o may_v make_v herself_o believe_v that_o she_o be_v full_a of_o god_n it_o be_v a_o great_a matter_n whilst_o we_o live_v and_o be_v humane_a to_o procure_v to_o bring_v god_n to_o ourselves_o humane_a for_o this_o be_v that_o other_o inconvenience_n which_o i_o say_v there_o be_v for_o the_o first_o i_o begin_v to_o say_v be_v a_o little_a want_n of_o humility_n in_o presume_v to_o raise_v the_o soul_n before_o our_o lord_n raise_v she_o and_o not_o to_o content_v herself_o with_o meditate_v upon_o a_o thing_n so_o precious_a but_o that_o she_o will_v needs_o be_v a_o marie_n before_o she_o have_v take_v the_o pain_n of_o martha_n if_o our_o lord_n himself_o be_v please_v that_o we_o be_v marry_o there_o will_v be_v nothing_o to_o be_v fear_v though_o it_o shall_v be_v upon_o the_o very_a first_o day_n of_o our_o do_v he_o service_n but_o yet_o let_v we_o consider_v well_o of_o the_o matter_n as_o i_o think_v i_o be_v say_v before_o for_o this_o small_a moat_n of_o little_a humility_n will_v make_v a_o shift_n to_o do_v a_o great_a deal_n of_o hurt_n against_o profit_v in_o the_o way_n of_o contemplation_n but_o to_o return_v now_o to_o the_o second_o point_n we_o be_v no_o angel_n but_o 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company_n fit_a for_o all_o good_a occasion_n and_o when_o once_o we_o be_v a_o little_a accustom_a we_o shall_v find_v he_o very_o easy_o keep_v close_a to_o we_o though_o yet_o some_o such_o time_n will_v occur_v as_o that_o we_o shall_v not_o be_v able_a to_o do_v neither_o the_o one_o nor_o the_o other_o upon_o this_o reason_n it_o will_v be_v well_o to_o do_v that_o whereof_o i_o have_v speak_v already_o namely_o not_o to_o pretend_v and_o procure_v any_o sensible_a consolation_n of_o spirit_n but_o let_v any_o thing_n arrive_v that_o will_v for_o it_o be_v no_o toy_n or_o trifle_n to_o embrace_v the_o cross_n of_o our_o lord_n this_o lord_n of_o we_o be_v forsake_v by_o all_o manner_n of_o comfort_n and_o they_o leave_v he_o all_o alone_a in_o his_o affliction_n but_o yet_o let_v not_o we_o do_v so_o for_o he_o will_v reach_v we_o his_o hand_n which_o can_v raise_v we_o better_o up_o than_o all_o our_o own_o diligence_n will_v have_v be_v able_a to_o do_v and_o yet_o he_o will_v absent_v himself_o also_o when_o he_o shall_v think_v fit_a and_o when_o he_o shall_v think_v it_o fit_a he_o will_v also_o draw_v the_o soul_n out_o of_o itself_o as_o i_o have_v say_v before_o our_o lord_n be_v very_o well_o please_v to_o see_v a_o soul_n with_o humility_n introduce_v his_o son_n for_o her_o intercessor_n and_o he_o love_v she_o so_o very_a much_o that_o even_o when_o his_o divine_a majesty_n shall_v have_v a_o inclination_n to_o raise_v herup_a to_o great_a contemplation_n the_o same_o soul_n may_v yet_o hold_v herself_o unworthy_a and_o cry_v out_o with_o s._n peter_n depart_v from_o i_o o_o my_o lord_n for_o i_o be_o a_o sinful_a man_n i_o have_v try_v this_o very_a thing_n by_o experience_n and_o thus_o have_v god_n conduct_v my_o soul_n let_v other_o therefore_o go_v by_o some_o other_o short_a cut_n as_o they_o please_v but_o that_o which_o i_o have_v be_v able_a to_o understand_v be_v that_o all_o this_o cement_n of_o prayer_n be_v ground_v upon_o humility_n 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one_o god_n moment_n which_o i_o have_v not_o be_v able_a to_o purchase_v and_o obtain_v of_o myself_o by_o the_o multitude_n of_o those_o great_a diligence_n which_o i_o have_v use_v many_o year_n in_o order_n to_o this_o end_n though_o yet_o i_o have_v employ_v myself_o so_o earnest_o upon_o this_o attempt_n that_o it_o have_v cost_v i_o a_o good_a part_n of_o my_o health_n but_o now_o this_o have_v be_v wrought_v and_o grant_v by_o he_o who_o be_v the_o omnipotent_a and_o true_a lord_n of_o all_o creature_n it_o put_v i_o not_o even_o to_o the_o least_o pain_n or_o trouble_v at_o all_o the_o five_o and_o twenty_o chapter_n she_o treat_v here_o of_o the_o way_n and_o manner_n of_o understand_v those_o word_n or_o speech_n which_o almighty_a god_n be_v please_v to_o utter_v to_o the_o soul_n though_o yet_o without_o hear_v any_o voice_n or_o sound_n and_o of_o some_o error_n or_o abuse_n which_o may_v happen_v herein_o and_o how_o the_o right_a may_v be_v know_v from_o the_o wrong_n it_o be_v of_o much_o use_n and_o profit_n for_o such_o as_o see_v themselves_o in_o this_o degree_n of_o prayer_n for_o it_o be_v declare_v very_o well_o and_o the_o doctrine_n contain_v great_a instruction_n menander_n think_v it_o shall_v do_v well_o to_o declare_v what_o kind_n of_o thing_n this_o speech_n be_v which_o our_o lord_n express_v to_o the_o soul_n and_o what_o she_o also_o feel_v to_o the_o end_n that_o your_o reverence_n may_v understand_v it_o for_o from_o this_o very_a time_n when_o our_o lord_n do_v i_o this_o favour_n as_o i_o have_v say_v the_o same_o thing_n be_v very_o usual_a with_o i_o even_o till_o this_o very_a present_a as_o i_o shall_v let_v you_o see_v by_o that_o which_o follow_v i_o say_v therefore_o that_o they_o be_v certain_a word_n very_o distinct_o form_v and_o that_o howsoever_o they_o be_v not_o hear_v with_o our_o ear_n of_o flesh_n and_o blood_n yet_o be_v they_o understand_v much_o more_o express_o and_o clear_o then_o if_o they_o be_v so_o hear_v and_o to_o seek_v to_o forbear_v to_o understand_v they_o yea_o and_o to_o resist_v the_o understanding_n they_o how_o much_o soever_o it_o may_v be_v be_v a_o vanity_n and_o a_o most_o impossible_a thing_n when_o in_o this_o world_n we_o have_v a_o mind_n not_o to_o hear_v we_o may_v stop_n our_o ear_n or_o else_o attend_v to_o other_o thing_n if_o we_o will_v in_o such_o sort_n as_o that_o although_o peradventure_o we_o may_v hear_v the_o word_n yet_o we_o shall_v not_o in_o that_o case_n understand_v they_o but_o word_n now_o in_o this_o discourse_n which_o almighty_a god_n make_v to_o the_o soul_n there_o be_v no_o remedy_n at_o all_o but_o they_o make_v i_o harken_v to_o they_o whether_o i_o will_v or_o no_o &_o they_o oblige_v the_o understanding_n to_o be_v very_o entire_a &_o attentive_a for_o the_o comprehend_v thereof_o for_o he_o who_o be_v able_a to_o do_v all_o thing_n be_v resolve_v that_o we_o shall_v understand_v he_o and_o that_o which_o he_o resolve_v must_v be_v do_v and_o so_o he_o come_v to_o be_v know_v to_o be_v the_o true_a lord_n of_o we_o all_o i_o have_v very_o well_o experiment_v this_o truth_n for_o the_o resistance_n which_o i_o make_v he_o do_v last_o upon_o the_o point_n of_o two_o year_n through_o the_o great_a fear_n wherein_o i_o be_v yea_o and_o even_o now_o i_o make_v those_o trial_n sometime_o but_o it_o serve_v i_o to_o little_a purpose_n i_o will_v fain_o declare_v the_o error_n and_o abuse_n which_o may_v here_o occur_v though_o for_o a_o man_n who_o have_v much_o experience_n i_o think_v there_o shall_v be_v few_o or_o none_o but_o indeed_o the_o say_a experience_n will_v be_v great_a as_o namely_o to_o know_v the_o difference_n when_o the_o spirit_n be_v good_a and_o when_o it_o be_v ill_a and_o when_o perhaps_o the_o thing_n may_v also_o be_v but_o a_o apprehension_n of_o the_o very_a understanding_n itself_o which_o may_v occur_v or_o when_o the_o very_a spirit_n itself_o may_v speak_v to_o the_o very_a 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understand_v thing_n after_o this_o other_o manner_n will_v clear_o discover_v what_o it_o may_v be_v so_o great_a a_o difference_n there_o be_v between_o the_o two_o and_o if_o indeed_o it_o be_v a_o thing_n which_o the_o understanding_n device_n and_o make_v how_o subtle_o and_o how_o delicate_o soever_o the_o matter_n go_v he_o understand_v that_o there_o be_v some_o part_n of_o himself_o in_o that_o which_o be_v ordain_v and_o say_v for_o it_o be_v no_o other_o thing_n then_o for_o a_o man_n to_o set_v a_o discourse_n on_o foot_n or_o to_o harken_v to_o what_o another_o man_n say_v for_o then_o the_o understanding_n find_v that_o it_o do_v not_o harken_v then_o because_o it_o work_v and_o the_o word_n which_o it_o go_v frame_v in_o that_o case_n be_v as_o it_o be_v fantastical_a and_o mute_a and_o confuse_a and_o be_v not_o deliver_v with_o that_o clearness_n which_o those_o other_o have_v and_o now_o here_o it_o be_v in_o our_o own_o power_n to_o divert_v ourselves_o or_o else_o to_o hold_v our_o peace_n when_o we_o speak_v but_o in_o this_o other_o case_n we_o have_v no_o such_o power_n at_o all_o another_o sign_n there_o be_v which_o be_v of_o more_o importance_n than_o all_o the_o rest_n for_o these_o thing_n which_o be_v say_v by_o ourselves_o have_v no_o manner_n of_o operation_n and_o work_v no_o effect_n at_o all_o but_o the_o other_o when_o our_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o speak_v be_v not_o only_o of_o word_n but_o work_n and_o though_o they_o be_v not_o word_n of_o devotion_n but_o of_o reprehension_n they_o instant_o dispose_v the_o soul_n and_o they_o enable_v she_o and_o make_v she_o relent_v and_o they_o give_v light_n and_o regale_n she_o and_o appease_v she_o and_o if_o she_o be_v in_o state_n of_o dryness_n and_o commotion_n and_o disorder_n these_o word_n take_v all_o away_o as_o if_o it_o be_v with_o the_o hand_n yea_o and_o yet_o much_o better_o than_o so_o for_o it_o seem_v that_o our_o lord_n business_n be_v then_o to_o show_v his_o mighty_a power_n and_o that_o his_o word_n be_v deed_n i_o think_v there_o be_v such_o a_o difference_n as_o there_o be_v between_o our_o speak_n or_o hear_v neither_o more_o â—orlesse_a for_o that_o which_o i_o speak_v i_o go_v order_v as_o i_o be_v say_v with_o my_o understanding_n but_o if_o another_o speak_v to_o i_o i_o do_v no_o more_o than_o hear_v without_o any_o trouble_n at_o all_o to_o myself_o one_o of_o these_o kind_n of_o word_n be_v like_o some_o thing_n whereof_o we_o can_v well_o determine_v whether_o it_o be_v not_o as_o of_o a_o man_n who_o be_v half_a asleep_a but_o this_o other_o be_v find_v to_o come_v from_o a_o voice_n so_o
have_v any_o experience_n will_v find_v that_o every_o word_n of_o this_o which_o i_o have_v say_v be_v literal_o certain_a and_o i_o bless_v almighty_a god_n for_o enable_v i_o to_o declare_v it_o as_o i_o have_v do_v and_o now_o i_o end_v this_o part_n of_o the_o discourse_n with_o say_v that_o i_o think_v when_o such_o word_n proceed_v from_o our_o own_o understanding_n we_o may_v easy_o come_v to_o know_v it_o if_o we_o have_v a_o mind_n to_o it_o and_o every_o time_n that_o we_o be_v in_o prayer_n we_o shall_v conceive_v that_o we_o understand_v they_o but_o in_o this_o other_o kind_n of_o word_n or_o speech_n it_o be_v not_o so_o for_o it_o will_v be_v many_o day_n wherein_o though_o i_o shall_v desire_v to_o understand_v somewhat_o of_o that_o kind_n it_o will_v be_v absolute_o impossible_a and_o when_o at_o other_o time_n i_o have_v no_o thought_n that_o way_n i_o must_v yet_o understand_v it_o as_o i_o have_v say_v and_o i_o think_v that_o whosoever_o have_v a_o mind_n to_o deceive_v other_o affirm_v himself_o to_o understand_v that_o from_o almighty_a god_n which_o be_v from_o himself_o may_v as_o well_o and_o it_o will_v cost_v he_o as_o little_a affirm_v that_o he_o hear_v it_o with_o his_o ear_n and_o it_o be_v a_o most_o certain_a and_o real_a truth_n that_o for_o my_o part_n i_o never_o think_v that_o there_o be_v any_o other_o way_n then_o that_o for_o the_o hear_n and_o understand_v any_o thing_n till_o i_o find_v in_o my_o own_o case_n that_o this_o which_o i_o have_v now_o deliver_v be_v true_a and_o it_o have_v cost_v i_o as_o i_o say_v much_o trouble_n when_o these_o thing_n proceed_v of_o the_o devil_n they_o do_v not_o only_o not_o work_v any_o good_a effect_n but_o leave_v also_o very_o ill_o one_o behind_o they_o but_o this_o have_v not_o happen_v to_o i_o above_o twice_o or_o thrice_o and_o i_o have_v instant_o be_v advertise_v by_o our_o lord_n that_o they_o be_v of_o the_o devil_n and_o beside_o the_o great_a dryness_n which_o they_o 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evident_a manner_n the_o devil_n may_v well_o deceive_v some_o such_o person_n by_o give_v he_o gust_n as_o never_o receive_v any_o before_o from_o almighty_a god_n for_o these_o latter_a be_v gust_n indeed_o which_o import_v a_o sweet_a strong_a well-imprinted_n quiet_a delightful_a kind_n of_o pleasure_n and_o joy_n for_o as_o for_o those_o little_a pretty_a devotion_n of_o the_o soul_n and_o certain_a other_o slight_a feeling_n which_o be_v like_o little_a young_a flower_n that_o be_v shake_v off_o and_o lose_v upon_o the_o least_o little_a wind_n of_o persecution_n i_o do_v not_o call_v they_o devotion_n though_o yet_o they_o be_v good_a beginning_n and_o holy_a motion_n but_o no_o way_n sufficient_a to_o determine_v whether_o the_o effect_n proceed_v from_o a_o good_a spirit_n or_o a_o bad_a and_o therefore_o it_o will_v be_v very_o necessary_a to_o walk_v in_o this_o kind_n of_o thing_n with_o huge_a caution_n for_o such_o person_n as_o shall_v not_o have_v proceed_v further_o in_o prayer_n than_o thus_o far_o may_v easy_o grow_v to_o be_v deceive_v if_o they_o fall_v out_o to_o have_v vision_n or_o revelation_n for_o my_o part_n i_o never_o have_v of_o these_o last_o till_o god_n through_o his_o own_o only_o goodness_n give_v i_o prayer_n of_o union_n unless_o it_o be_v that_o first_o time_n whereof_o i_o speak_v and_o it_o happen_v to_o i_o many_o year_n ago_o when_o i_o see_v christ_n our_o lord_n and_o i_o will_v to_o god_n it_o have_v please_v his_o divine_a majesty_n that_o i_o have_v understand_v at_o that_o time_n that_o it_o be_v a_o true_a vision_n as_o i_o understand_v it_o to_o be_v afterward_o for_o it_o will_v not_o have_v be_v of_o small_a advantage_n to_o i_o but_o now_o upon_o these_o illusion_n of_o the_o devil_n there_o never_o grow_v any_o sweetness_n or_o softness_n and_o suppleness_n to_o the_o soul_n but_o she_o remain_v as_o if_o she_o be_v fright_v and_o with_o much_o disgust_n and_o i_o hold_v it_o for_o very_o certain_a that_o almighty_a god_n will_v never_o permit_v the_o devil_n to_o deceive_v any_o soul_n which_o put_v no_o confidence_n at_o all_o in_o herself_o and_o which_o be_v fortify_v in_o the_o right_a faith_n and_o resolve_v thus_o much_o for_o her_o part_n that_o she_o will_v die_v a_o thousand_o death_n for_o the_o least_o article_n thereof_o and_o who_o together_o with_o this_o love_n and_o faith_n be_v infuse_v into_o the_o soul_n by_o almighty_a god_n which_o be_v a_o livelie_a and_o strong_a faith_n indeed_o procure_v always_o to_o go_v in_o conformity_n with_o that_o which_o be_v teach_v by_o the_o holy_a catholic_a church_n inform_v herself_o further_o by_o several_a way_n as_o a_o person_n who_o be_v strong_o seat_v in_o this_o truth_n that_o all_o the_o imaginable_a revelation_n of_o the_o whole_a world_n no_o not_o if_o she_o shall_v see_v the_o very_a heaven_n open_v themselves_o can_v make_v she_o vary_v in_o the_o least_o point_n from_o the_o doctrine_n and_o decree_n of_o the_o say_a church_n but_o if_o she_o once_o come_v so_o far_o as_o but_o to_o shake_v or_o waver_v even_o in_o one_o single_a thought_n against_o this_o or_o entertain_v herself_o so_o far_o as_o to_o say_v but_o now_o if_o god_n himself_o say_v thus_o to_o i_o as_o he_o have_v say_v such_o other_o thing_n to_o saint_n this_o may_v also_o be_v true_a i_o say_v not_o that_o she_o believe_v it_o but_o that_o the_o devil_n begin_v to_o tempt_v she_o by_o this_o motion_n and_o that_o she_o be_v content_a to_o continue_v herself_o a_o little_a therein_o a_o body_n may_v see_v already_o that_o this_o be_v stark_o naught_o but_o for_o my_o part_n i_o believe_v that_o many_o time_n even_o these_o other_o first_o motion_n will_v hardly_o ever_o come_v so_o far_o as_o even_o but_o to_o set_v upon_o such_o a_o soul_n if_o she_o be_v already_o so_o strong_a as_o our_o bless_a lord_n be_v wont_a to_o have_v make_v such_o as_o to_o who_o he_o use_v to_o impart_v these_o favour_n for_o i_o think_v she_o may_v be_v able_a to_o tear_v those_o devil_n even_o to_o fitter_n whensoever_o there_o may_v be_v question_n of_o any_o one_o single_a little_a truth_n which_o the_o church_n hold_v i_o say_v that_o if_o the_o soul_n do_v not_o find_v such_o a_o strength_n as_o this_o in_o herself_o and_o that_o the_o devotion_n or_o vision_n which_o she_o have_v do_v not_o assist_v and_o help_v her-on_a therein_o let_v she_o not_o hold_v any_o such_o vision_n for_o safe_a because_o though_o the_o hurt_n of_o it_o be_v not_o instant_o understand_v it_o may_v perhaps_o grow_v by_o little_a and_o little_a to_o be_v great_a for_o to_o the_o uttermost_a of_o what_o i_o can_v discern_v and_o know_v by_o experience_n the_o reputation_n and_o credit_n that_o such_o a_o thing_n be_v of_o the_o spirit_n of_o god_n be_v settle_v and_o assure_v in_o such_o sort_n as_o that_o it_o also_o go_v in_o conformity_n to_o holy_a scripture_n and_o when_o it_o shall_v be_v find_v to_o vary_v from_o this_o rule_n though_o it_o be_v never_o so_o little_a i_o think_v i_o shall_v be_v then_o much_o more_o sure_a without_o comparison_n that_o it_o be_v of_o the_o devil_n than_o now_o i_o have_v assurance_n that_o it_o be_v of_o almighty_a god_n how_o great_a soever_o i_o may_v find_v that_o assurance_n to_o be_v for_o in_o that_o case_n we_o shall_v have_v no_o need_n at_o all_o to_o go_v in_o search_n after_o sign_n nor_o to_o inquire_v of_o what_o spirit_n it_o be_v since_o this_o be_v so_o clear_a a_o sign_n to_o make_v we_o believe_v that_o it_o be_v of_o the_o devil_n that_o if_o all_o the_o world_n shall_v endeavour_v to_o assure_v i_o that_o it_o be_v of_o god_n i_o will_v not_o believe_v it_o
and_o so_o make_v those_o wretch_n tremble_v for_o already_o we_o know_v well_o enough_o that_o the_o devil_n be_v not_o able_a to_o stir_v unless_o our_o lord_n permit_v he_o what_o then_o may_v be_v the_o ground_n of_o all_o these_o disorder_n it_o be_v certain_o that_o i_o be_o more_o afraid_a of_o they_o who_o be_v so_o fright_v by_o the_o devil_n then_o of_o the_o devil_n himself_o for_o he_o be_v utter_o unable_a to_o do_v i_o hurt_v whereas_o these_o other_o especial_o if_o they_o be_v ghostly_a father_n may_v put_v soul_n to_o much_o disquiet_n and_o for_o my_o part_n i_o have_v pass_v some_o year_n through_o so_o great_a trouble_n that_o now_o i_o be_o even_o amaze_v to_o consider_v how_o i_o have_v be_v able_a to_o endure_v it_o but_o bless_v be_v our_o lord_n who_o have_v assist_v i_o in_o so_o good_a earnest_n amen_n the_o six_o and_o twenty_o chapter_n she_o prosecute_v the_o same_o discourse_n and_o go_v relate_v and_o declare_v such_o thing_n as_o happen_v to_o she_o which_o make_v her_o loose_a fear_n and_o to_o be_v strengthen_v in_o a_o beleif_n that_o it_o be_v a_o good_a spirit_n which_o speak_v to_o she_o i_o esteem_v the_o courage_n which_o our_o lord_n have_v vouchsafe_v to_o give_v i_o against_o all_o the_o devil_n of_o hell_n to_o be_v one_o of_o the_o great_a favour_n which_o it_o have_v please_v his_o divine_a majesty_n to_o do_v i_o since_o for_o a_o soul_n to_o go_v cowardly_o on_o and_o to_o be_v fearful_a indeed_o of_o any_o thing_n but_o only_o to_o offend_v the_o majesty_n of_o almighty_a god_n be_v a_o extreme_a inconvenience_n for_o since_o we_o have_v a_o king_n who_o be_v omnipotent_a and_o so_o great_a a_o lord_n that_o he_o can_v do_v what_o he_o list_n and_o who_o bring_v all_o thing_n into_o subjection_n under_o himself_o there_o be_v no_o fear_n at_o all_o to_o be_v have_v and_o therefore_o as_o i_o be_v say_v we_o have_v no_o cause_n to_o doubt_v so_o that_o we_o walk_v sincere_o and_o with_o purity_n of_o conscience_n in_o the_o presence_n of_o his_o divine_a majesty_n and_o in_o order_n to_o this_o end_n i_o shall_v be_v glad_a to_o have_v all_o the_o fear_n in_o the_o world_n to_o offend_v he_o in_o any_o one_o instant_n of_o my_o whole_a life_n who_o be_v able_a in_o the_o very_a selfsame_a instant_n to_o destroy_v and_o annihilate_v we_o all_o as_o long_o as_o his_o divine_a majesty_n be_v please_v with_o we_o there_o be_v no_o creature_n who_o can_v stand_v against_o we_o without_o have_v his_o head_n break_v for_o his_o pain_n you_o will_v peradventure_o say_v that_o this_o be_v very_o true_a but_o yet_o now_o on_o the_o other_o side_n where_o shall_v we_o find_v that_o soul_n which_o stand_v so_o straight_o as_o that_o she_o may_v be_v whole_o please_v to_o he_o and_o because_o she_o be_v not_o so_o she_o be_v in_o fear_n i_o answer_v that_o i_o be_o sure_a that_o that_o pure_a and_o innocent_a soul_n be_v none_o of_o i_o which_o indeed_o be_v very_o wretched_a and_o unprofitable_a and_o surcharge_v even_o with_o a_o thousand_o misery_n but_o yet_o still_o we_o have_v this_o comfort_n that_o almighty_a god_n do_v not_o proceed_v with_o such_o rigour_n as_o man_n do_v for_o he_o know_v and_o consider_v our_o frailty_n and_o the_o soul_n have_v way_n of_o understanding_n and_o find_v in_o itself_o by_o great_a conjecture_n whether_o real_o she_o love_v his_o divine_a majesty_n or_o no_o for_o in_o such_o as_o arrive_v once_o to_o this_o state_n our_o love_n to_o he_o be_v not_o now_o a_o kind_n of_o dissemble_a or_o disguise_v love_n as_o it_o use_v sometime_o to_o be_v in_o the_o beginning_n but_o it_o be_v accompany_v with_o so_o great_a impulse_n and_o even_o impetuosity_n of_o desire_n to_o see_v almighty_a god_n as_o i_o shall_v afterward_o declare_v or_o rather_o as_o i_o have_v declare_v already_o and_o all_o thing_n be_v wont_a to_o afflict_v all_o thing_n to_o weary_a &_o tire_v and_o all_o thing_n do_v even_o torment_v she_o unless_o it_o be_v only_a god_n or_o for_o god_n there_o be_v not_o so_o much_o as_o any_o repose_n which_o do_v not_o displease_v she_o because_o she_o find_v herself_o absent_a from_o her_o true_a repose_n and_o so_o it_o falls-out_a to_o be_v very_o evident_a that_o thing_n pass_v not_o here_o in_o a_o dissemble_a way_n it_o have_v happen_v to_o i_o in_o former_a time_n that_o i_o find_v myself_o in_o great_a tribulation_n and_o i_o be_v subject_a to_o many_o detraction_n by_o occasion_n of_o a_o certain_a business_n whereof_o i_o may_v have_v cause_n to_o speak_v afterward_o from_o all_o that_o house_n where_o i_o live_v yea_o and_o from_o my_o order_n and_o i_o be_v afflict_v upon_o many_o accident_n which_o occur_v then_o at_o which_o time_n it_o please_v our_o lord_n to_o utter_v these_o express_a word_n to_o i_o of_o what_o be_v thou_o afraid_a do_v thou_o not_o know_v that_o i_o be_o omnipotent_a i_o will_v accomplish_v all_o that_o which_o i_o have_v promise_v thou_o and_o indeed_o he_o accomplish_v it_o afterward_o very_o well_o but_o even_o instant_o there_o remain_v such_o a_o kind_n of_o strength_n in_o i_o that_o i_o think_v i_o can_v present_o have_v put_v myself_o to_o adventure_v upon_o other_o thing_n though_o they_o shall_v cost_v i_o much_o more_o trouble_n for_o the_o do_v he_o service_n and_o can_v have_v suffer_v also_o much_o more_o for_o he_o and_o this_o very_a self_n same_o thing_n have_v happen_v to_o i_o so_o often_o that_o i_o be_o not_o able_a to_o count_v the_o time_n and_o he_o have_v make_v i_o and_o make_v i_o still_o such_o reprehension_n by_o occasion_n of_o those_o imperfection_n which_o i_o commit_v sometime_o that_o they_o be_v able_a even_o as_o it_o be_v to_o annihilate_v the_o soul_n at_o least_o they_o bring_v so_o much_o in_o their_o company_n as_o that_o she_o be_v mend_v by_o they_o for_o his_o divine_a majesty_n as_o i_o have_v say_v do_v not_o only_o give_v we_o the_o counsel_n but_o the_o remedy_n at_o other_o time_n he_o bring_v back_o to_o i_o the_o memory_n of_o the_o sin_n of_o my_o former_a life_n and_o this_o he_o most_o ordinary_o use_v to_o do_v whensoever_o he_o intend_v to_o vouchsafe_v i_o any_o extraordinary_a favour_n and_o he_o do_v it_o in_o such_o sort_n that_o the_o soul_n discern_v herself_o as_o if_o she_o be_v real_o plant_v at_o the_o very_a day_n of_o the_o last_o universal_a judgement_n and_o the_o truth_n be_v represent_v to_o she_o with_o such_o a_o kind_n of_o perspicuity_n and_o claritie_n that_o she_o know_v not_o what_o to_o do_v with_o herself_o at_o other_o time_n he_o be_v please_v to_o inform_v i_o of_o certain_a danger_n concern_v both_o myself_o and_o other_o about_o thing_n which_o do_v not_o happen_v till_o three_o or_o four_o year_n after_o but_o they_o all_o be_v ever_o fulfil_v and_o some_o of_o they_o may_v also_o be_v name_v if_o there_o be_v cause_n so_o that_o there_o be_v so_o many_o particular_n whereby_o it_o may_v be_v understand_v that_o these_o thing_n be_v of_o almighty_a god_n as_o that_o in_o my_o opinion_n they_o can_v but_o be_v know_v and_o acknowledge_v the_o most_o secure_a proceed_n consist_v in_o that_o such_o a_o person_n do_v not_o fail_v to_o impart_v her_o whole_a soul_n to_o her_o ghostly_a father_n and_o that_o he_o be_v a_o learned_a man_n and_o that_o she_o do_v entire_o obey_v he_o at_o least_o this_o be_v the_o course_n which_o i_o take_v and_o without_o this_o i_o can_v have_v no_o rest_n nor_o be_v it_o indeed_o fit_a that_o we_o woman_n shall_v have_v any_o since_o we_o have_v no_o learning_n and_o there_o can_v be_v no_o hurt_n at_o all_o in_o this_o but_o many_o advantage_n and_o benefit_n as_o our_o lord_n himself_o have_v tell_v i_o many_o time_n i_o say_v many_o time_n i_o have_v once_o a_o ghostly_a father_n who_o mortify_v i_o very_o much_o and_o sometime_o he_o do_v even_o afflict_v i_o and_o bring_v i_o a_o great_a deal_n of_o trouble_n and_o disquiet_v i_o in_o extraordinary_a manner_n and_o yet_o it_o be_v he_o who_o in_o my_o opinion_n do_v i_o the_o most_o good_a of_o they_o all_o and_o though_o i_o love_v he_o very_o much_o yet_o i_o have_v some_o temptation_n to_o leave_v he_o for_o it_o seem_v to_o i_o that_o i_o be_v much_o prejudice_v by_o those_o inconvenience_n which_o he_o be_v wont_a to_o give_v i_o concern_v my_o prayer_n but_o yet_o ever_o when_o i_o be_v determine_v to_o do_v this_o i_o instant_o understand_v that_o i_o be_v to_o forbear_v it_o and_o i_o receive_v such_o a_o reprehension_n from_o our_o lord_n as_o defeat_v and_o as_o it_o be_v annihilate_v i_o more_o than_o all_o that_o which_o my_o ghostly_a father_n can_v
this_o end_n some_o little_a poor_a good_a work_n which_o i_o do_v if_o i_o do_v any_o i_o become_v devote_a to_o some_o saint_n to_o the_o end_n that_o by_o their_o mean_n i_o may_v be_v deliver_v from_o the_o devil_n i_o perform_v the_o devotion_n of_o nine_o day_n i_o recommend_v myself_o to_o saint_n hilarion_n and_o to_o s._n michael_n also_o the_o archangel_n for_o i_o have_v late_o apply_v myself_o to_o he_o for_o this_o purpose_n and_o i_o importune_v also_o mame_v other_o saint_n that_o our_o lord_n may_v be_v please_v by_o their_o intercession_n to_o conduct_v i_o in_o the_o way_n of_o truth_n i_o say_v that_o they_o will_v find_v some_o mean_n to_o perfect_v this_o business_n of_o i_o with_o his_o divine_a majesty_n in_o fine_a after_o the_o end_n of_o two_o year_n which_o both_o i_o and_o other_o person_n have_v whole_o employ_v with_o all_o their_o prayer_n and_o i_o in_o order_n to_o this_o end_n that_o our_o lord_n may_v be_v please_v either_o to_o conduct_v my_o soul_n by_o some_o other_o way_n or_o else_o vouchsafe_v to_o declare_v that_o this_o way_n wherein_o i_o go_v be_v right_a for_o now_o those_o word_n and_o speech_n which_o i_o have_v relate_v that_o our_o lord_n will_v be_v utter_v to_o i_o sometime_o be_v grow_v very_o ordinary_a &_o even_o continual_a that_o chance_v and_o occur_v to_o i_o which_o i_o will_v now_o declare_v as_o i_o be_v in_o prayer_n one_o day_n and_o it_o be_v upon_o the_o festivitie_n of_o the_o glorious_a s._n peter_n i_o see_v stand_v very_o near_o i_o or_o rather_o to_o say_v better_o i_o think_v i_o feel_v for_o indeed_o i_o see_v nothing_o at_o all_o with_o the_o eye_n either_o of_o my_o body_n or_o of_o my_o mind_n that_o christ_n our_o lord_n be_v close_o by_o i_o and_o i_o find_v in_o fine_a that_o it_o be_v he_o in_o my_o opinion_n who_o be_v speak_v to_o i_o but_o now_o i_o who_o be_v extreme_o ignorant_a till_o then_o that_o there_o may_v be_v any_o such_o thing_n in_o the_o world_n as_o such_o a_o vision_n fall_v at_o the_o first_o into_o a_o mighty_a fear_n and_o i_o can_v do_v nothing_o but_o weep_v though_o yet_o through_o his_o give_v i_o assurance_n by_o his_o speak_v but_o one_o only_o word_n i_o find_v myself_o as_o i_o have_v former_o be_v not_o only_o without_o fear_n and_o very_o quiet_a but_o even_o with_o regalo_n and_o delight_n i_o thought_n that_o christ_n jesus_n our_o lord_n go_v ever_o close_o to_o i_o on_o one_o side_n but_o the_o vision_n not_o be_v imaginary_a or_o represent_v in_o any_o form_n i_o perceive_v not_o in_o what_o shape_n he_o be_v but_o as_o for_o his_o be_v ever_o on_o my_o right_a side_n i_o find_v and_o feel_v that_o very_o clear_o and_o that_o he_o be_v the_o witness_n of_o whatsoever_o i_o do_v and_o that_o i_o can_v not_o be_v recollect_v though_o it_o be_v never_o so_o little_a or_o rather_o indeed_o unless_o i_o be_v much_o divert_v or_o distract_v but_o i_o must_v needs_o in_o fine_a understand_v that_o he_o be_v very_o near_o i_o i_o than_o go_v immediate_o to_o my_o ghostly_a father_n be_v sufficient_o vex_v and_o grieved_a that_o i_o must_v let_v he_o know_v it_o he_o ask_v i_o what_o form_n or_o figure_n he_o have_v when_o i_o see_v he_o and_o i_o tell_v he_o that_o i_o have_v not_o see_v he_o upon_o this_o he_o inquire_v then_o how_o i_o know_v that_o it_o be_v christ_n our_o lord_n to_o this_o i_o answer_v that_o i_o know_v no_o more_o but_o that_o i_o can_v not_o possible_o fail_v or_o forbear_v to_o understand_v and_o know_v that_o he_o be_v close_o to_o i_o and_o that_o i_o find_v and_o feel_v it_o plain_o and_o that_o now_o the_o recollection_n of_o my_o soul_n in_o prayer_n of_o quiet_a be_v far_o great_a and_o more_o continual_a &_o that_o the_o effect_n be_v very_o different_a from_o those_o other_o which_o i_o have_v former_o find_v and_o that_o the_o thing_n be_v very_o certain_a and_o clear_a for_o my_o part_n i_o can_v do_v no_o more_o but_o bring_v diverse_a comparison_n whereby_o to_o give_v myself_o 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answer_v i_o and_o that_o many_o time_n but_o yet_o even_o before_o he_o tell_v i_o so_o it_o be_v he_o print_v upon_o my_o understanding_n that_o it_o be_v he_o yea_o and_o even_o before_o this_o he_o tell_v i_o so_o and_o yet_o still_o i_o see_v he_o not_o if_o any_o man_n who_o i_o have_v never_o see_v but_o only_o have_v hear_v news_n of_o he_o shall_v come_v to_o speak_v with_o i_o i_o be_v either_o blind_a or_o in_o the_o dark_a and_o shall_v tell_v i_o who_o he_o be_v i_o shall_v believe_v he_o and_o yet_o i_o can_v not_o so_o
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soever_o the_o understanding_n of_o any_o creature_n may_v be_v he_o will_v never_o in_o all_o the_o day_n of_o his_o life_n be_v able_a to_o conceive_v right_o what_o kind_n of_o thing_n it_o be_v and_o it_o please_v almighty_a god_n to_o set_v it_o before_o we_o so_o very_o speedy_o that_o we_o can_v open_v our_o eye_n so_o soon_o if_o that_o be_v needful_a for_o the_o see_v it_o but_o it_o help_v we_o indeed_o no_o more_o in_o this_o case_n to_o have_v they_o open_a then_o shut_v for_o whensoever_o our_o lord_n be_v please_v we_o see_v it_o even_o whether_o we_o will_v or_o no._n not_o be_v there_o any_o distraction_n in_o the_o world_n which_o may_v be_v able_a to_o divert_v we_o from_o it_o nor_o be_v there_o any_o power_n which_o can_v resist_v it_o nor_o be_v there_o also_o on_o the_o other_o side_n any_o manner_n of_o care_n and_o diligence_n which_o may_v suffice_v to_o procure_v it_o and_o i_o have_v have_v good_a experience_n of_o this_o as_o i_o shall_v find_v a_o fit_a time_n to_o declare_v but_o that_o which_o i_o will_v fain_o relate_v now_o be_v the_o manner_n how_o our_o bless_a lord_n be_v please_v to_o show_v himself_o by_o these_o vision_n i_o say_v not_o that_o i_o will_v declare_v in_o what_o sort_n this_o so_o strong_a a_o light_n may_v be_v able_a to_o convey_v itself_o into_o the_o inward_a sense_n and_o to_o imprint_v so_o exact_a and_o clear_v a_o image_n upon_o the_o understanding_n as_o to_o make_v it_o direct_o seem_v to_o be_v very_o there_o for_o this_o point_n belong_v to_o such_o as_o be_v learned_a and_o our_o lord_n have_v not_o be_v please_v to_o give_v i_o to_o comprehend_v the_o manner_n of_o it_o and_o in_o myself_o i_o be_o so_o very_o ignorant_a and_o of_o so_o gross_a a_o understanding_n that_o howsoever_o man_n have_v endeavour_v much_o to_o declare_v it_o to_o i_o i_o have_v not_o yet_o be_v able_a to_o conceive_v the_o way_n and_o manner_n of_o it_o and_o this_o be_v very_o certain_a that_o howsoever_o it_o may_v seem_v to_o your_o reverence_n that_o my_o understanding_n be_v livelie_a and_o quick_a yet_o there_o be_v real_o no_o such_o thing_n and_o i_o have_v find_v what_o i_o be_o about_o to_o say_v to_o be_v true_a by_o the_o experience_n of_o many_o particular_n that_o namely_o it_o embrace_n and_o comprehend_v no_o more_o then_o just_a that_o very_a thing_n upon_o which_o they_o will_v have_v it_o feed_v yea_o and_o sometime_o he_o who_o be_v my_o confessarius_fw-la will_v be_v even_o amaze_v at_o my_o ignorances_n in_o many_o kind_n and_o he_o never_o make_v i_o understand_v nor_o do_v i_o indeed_o desire_v to_o know_v how_o almighty_a god_n do_v this_o or_o how_o this_o can_v be_v nor_o do_v i_o ask_v he_o about_o it_o though_o yet_o as_o i_o have_v say_v i_o treat_v many_o year_n with_o man_n of_o great_a learning_n to_o know_v whether_o this_o or_o that_o be_v a_o sin_n or_o no_o for_o in_o this_o i_o be_v not_o want_v but_o as_o for_o the_o rest_n i_o then_o have_v no_o need_n to_o stand_v think_v of_o more_o than_o that_o almighty_a god_n be_v the_o author_n of_o all_o and_o i_o see_v that_o i_o be_v now_o not_o to_o wonder_v at_o aniething_n but_o only_o to_o consider_v how_o many_o reason_n i_o have_v to_o praise_v he_o nay_o the_o thing_n which_o carry_v difficulty_n with_o they_o do_v breed_v devotion_n in_o i_o and_o the_o more_o difficulty_n the_o more_o devotion_n but_o i_o will_v therefore_o now_o declare_v that_o which_o i_o be_o come_v to_o understand_v by_o experience_n namely_o how_o our_o bless_a lord_n do_v
to_o abuse_v and_o cozen_v so_o many_o good_a man_n and_o i_o seem_v to_o be_v so_o very_o wicked_a that_o i_o think_v all_o the_o mischief_n and_o heresy_n which_o have_v be_v raise_v and_o bring_v late_o into_o the_o world_n be_v but_o the_o fruit_n of_o my_o sin_n but_o this_o be_v a_o false_a kind_n of_o humility_n which_o the_o devil_n invent_v of_o purpose_n for_o my_o disquiet_n to_o try_v if_o he_o can_v bring_v my_o soul_n to_o despair_v and_o i_o know_v so_o well_o by_o experience_n that_o this_o be_v a_o trick_n of_o the_o devil_n that_o now_o when_o he_o find_v that_o i_o understand_v he_o he_o torment_v i_o not_o so_o often_o herein_o as_o he_o be_v wont_a the_o certainty_n of_o this_o truth_n be_v clear_o find_v by_o the_o restlessness_n and_o disquiet_v wherewith_o he_o begin_v and_o by_o the_o bussle_v which_o he_o keep_v in_o the_o soul_n all_o the_o while_o it_o last_v and_o by_o the_o obscurity_n and_o affliction_n which_o he_o bring_v to_o it_o and_o by_o the_o 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a_o strange_a mixture_n of_o affection_n but_o such_o as_o god_n know_v how_o to_o give_v give_v this_o grief_n be_v after_o the_o rate_n of_o the_o love_n love_n a_o very_a safe_a and_o wise_a way_n of_o proceed_v proceed_v this_o be_v a_o most_o certain_a truth_n truth_n here_o follow_v a_o whole_a world_n of_o sad_a temptation_n &_o trouble_n trouble_n the_o difference_n betweme_v divine_a and_o diabolical_a grief_n of_o mind_n mind_n the_o way_n &_o manner_n of_o a_o great_a desolation_n desolation_n a_o pretty_a humour_n humour_n a_o happy_a state_n state_n she_o make_v along_o discourse_n of_o the_o diabolical_a temptation_n &_o trouble_n to_o which_o she_o be_v subject_a subject_a the_o excellency_n of_o holy_a water_n water_n a_o great_a and_o just_a consolation_n consolation_n a_o question_n worthy_a of_o he_o that_o ask_v it_o it_o this_o be_v a_o very_a great_a truth_n but_o the_o accent_n must_v be_v put_v upon_o the_o word_n indeed_o indeed_o and_o though_o she_o shall_v have_v continue_v to_o ask_v it_o i_o dare_v say_v our_o lord_n will_v not_o have_v grant_v it_o it_o a_o must_v certain_a truth_n truth_n a_o wise_a &_o solid_a truth_n truth_n exercise_n of_o prayer_n and_o love_n of_o honour_n agree_v not_o well_o together_o together_o this_o be_v not_o to_o be_v literal_o understand_v for_o the_o devil_n can_v prepare_v no_o place_n for_o a_o soul_n in_o hell_n but_o by_o the_o decree_n of_o almighty_a god_n upon_o the_o particular_a judgement_n give_v at_o the_o death_n of_o the_o party_n party_n the_o sin_n of_o ingratitude_n discorrespondence_n and_o inordinate_a affection_n to_o creature_n which_o she_o do_v commit_v and_o the_o great_a and_o mortal_a sin_n which_o she_o will_v most_o certain_o have_v commit_v if_o the_o mercy_n of_o our_o bless_a lord_n have_v not_o prevent_v and_o withhold_v she_o she_o hell_n be_v represent_v to_o she_o in_o spirit_n after_o a_o most_o subtle_a manner_n and_o it_o be_v show_v to_o she_o and_o describe_v by_o she_o in_o such_o sort_n as_o that_o such_o creature_n may_v be_v capable_a thereof_o as_o be_v endue_v not_o only_o with_o mind_n but_o with_o body_n body_n the_o excellent_a fruit_n which_o this_o saint_n do_v gather_v from_o this_o great_a favour_n which_o seem_v to_o be_v the_o sole_a cause_n why_o our_o b._n lord_n be_v please_v to_o impair_v this_o favour_n favour_n the_o great_a benefit_n of_o this_o favour_n favour_n vide_fw-la supra_fw-la fol_n 471._o 471._o a_o sweet_a effect_n of_o a_o sad_a cause_n cause_n a_o sad_a and_o strange_a proceed_n proceed_n how_o one_o suspicion_n u._fw-mi wont_a to_o three_o itself_o close_o upon_o another_o another_o a_o holy_a &_o wise_a man_n man_n all_o these_o thing_n and_o the_o like_a as_o namely_o dart_n or_o chain_n or_o crown_n or_o jewel_n etc._n etc._n be_v not_o to_o be_v understoood_a after_o a_o gross_a &_o material_a way_n but_o yet_o that_o real_o they_o have_v truth_n in_o their_o be_v represent_v distinct_o &_o clear_o to_o the_o imagination_n of_o the_o party_n and_o they_o chief_o serve_v as_o testimony_n &_o sign_n of_o those_o interior_a grace_n &_o virtue_n which_o use_v to_o be_v imprint_v upon_o soul_n at_o those_o very_a time_n by_o the_o mercy_n of_o our_o b._n lord_n lord_n she_o mean_v herself_o herself_o this_o saint_n be_v a_o excellent_a person_n to_o make_v a_o friend_n of_o of_o a_o very_a strange_a demonstration_n of_o a_o most_o civil_a noble_a and_o friendly_a hart_n hart_n our_o bless_a lord_n be_v still_o as_o good_a as_o his_o word_n word_n the_o great_a charity_n &_o humility_n of_o the_o saint_n saint_n how_o devout_a this_o dear_a saint_n be_v be_v they_o be_v very_o noble_a though_o they_o be_v poor_a poor_a the_o devil_n be_v still_o himself_o himself_o this_o be_v such_o a_o kind_n of_o world_n as_o wherein_o thing_n will_v ever_o go_v thus_o thus_o a_o true_a answer_n to_o all_o the_o devil_n objection_n objection_n note_v the_o description_n which_o the_o saint_n make_v here_o of_o her_o religious_a religious_a this_o fast_a of_o the_o order_n be_v not_o so_o strict_a and_o rigorous_a as_o that_o of_o the_o church_n but_o be_v rather_o a_o forbearance_n of_o half_a the_o meal_n than_o a_o fast_a fast_a this_o point_n of_o have_v so_o very_a few_o in_o a_o monastery_n be_v partly_o mean_v for_o they_o who_o be_v to_o live_v in_o any_o place_n on_o alm_n and_o partly_o because_o the_o saint_n have_v see_v some_o disorder_n by_o have_v too_o many_o religious_a in_o other_o house_n and_o yet_o the_o saint_n herself_o come_v afterward_o to_o admit_v of_o twenty_o in_o stead_n of_o twelue_v and_o will_v perhaps_o have_v admit_v more_o if_o she_o have_v find_v reason_n for_o it_o it_o she_o inveigh_v with_o much_o reason_n against_o vain_a compliment_n and_o especial_o among_o religious_a people_n people_n a_o excellent_a &_o most_o useful_a document_n document_n a_o true_a noble_a &_o most_o generous_a hart_n hart_n great_a effect_n of_o a_o vision_n