Edmund and foure daughters Margaret Elizabeth Mary and Katherin reigned 23 yeeres 8 moneths dyed at Richmond buried at Westminster in the most â—â—â— Chappell of his owne building 1508. HENRY THE VIIJ KING OF ENGLAND And FRANCE LORD OF IRELAND TO both the Royall Houses I was Heyre I made but one of long contending twaine This realme diuided drooping in despaire I did rebind in my auspicious Raigne I banisht Romish Vsurpation vaine In France I Bullen Turwin Turney Wan The Stile of Faiths Defender I did gaine Sixe wiues I had three An's two Kates one lane In my expences Royall beyond measure Striuing in Noble Actions to exceede Accounting Honour as my greatest Treasure Yet various fancies did my frailty feede I made and marr'd I did and I vndid Till all my Greatnesse in Graue was hid Anno Dom. 1509 Aprill 22 Sunday Henry the eight with his beautcous queen â—â—â—dy Catherin who had bin before the wife of his â—â—â— borhter Prince Arthur on Sunday the 25 of Iune were both crowned King Queen of England â—â—â— minster by the bvnds of William Warham â—â—â— bishop of Canterbury He entre France wish as and was the strong Towns of Terwin and Tumayâ— valiant King lames the sourth of scotland â—â—â— land with a great Host and was met and sought â—â—â— by the Noble Lord Thomas Howard Earleâ—â—â— and at a place called Flodden in Northumber king lames vailiantly fighting was â—â—â— Bishops 2 Abbots 12 Earles 17 Lords and â— common Soldiers Thomas Wolsey from meaâ—â— some say the sonne of a Butcher in Ipswich by â— mounted to the tope Fortunes wheel â—â—â— to be a scholem after next a seruant to the Treasâ— Callis 3 to be one of the Kings chaplainer 4 the â—â— Almoner 5 he was made Deane of Lincoâ—â—e 6 â—â—â— chosen for priuy Councellour 7 be was â—â—â— shop of Tornay 8 after that Archbishops of Yorke â—â— ated Cardinall 10 ne was Lord Chancellor 11 â—â—â— all these boneurs at once with the Bishoprick of â—â—â— ster Worcester Bathe Heresord â—â—â— Saint Albans Lastly all these â—â—â— which in many yeeres hee attained were in aâ—â—â— the kings displeasure and his own â—â—â— lost The King had the Title of Defender of the â—â—â— from Rome neuer was any King of England â—â—â— nificent hee was visited three times by the â—â—â— and one of them Maximillian serued â—â—â—â—â—â— warres in France the other Charles â—â—â— England so likewise did the King of Denmarkeâ— Queene who all were most Royalty entertained King Henry waâ—â—he first of the English King â—â—tuled â—â—â— himselfe King of Ireland In the â—â—â— Citie of Rome was taken by the French Clement with 23 cardinakâ— imprisoned â— moneths King Henry and thepope fell atâ—â—â— that the King causedâ— all â—â—â—â— obedience to â—â— den and in the tempest of histurie seased â—â—â—â— power in These his Dominiens â—â—â—â— to him â—â—â— Land hauing too long borne the â—â— of Antichristian Tyramny for the which â—â—â— King caused to bee suppressed in England and 283 â—â—â— 215 Prâ—ries 108 â—â—â—â—â—â— 84 colleages 9 cells and 103 Hospitals Henry reigned 37 years 9 moneths and â—â—â— 28 of January 1546 buried at Windsor EDWARD THE VI KING OF ENGLAND FRANCE and IRELAND Desender of the Faith c. â—â—â— Seem'd in wisedome aged in my youth â—â—â— A Princly patterne I reform'd the time â—â—â— With zeale and courage I maintain'd Gods truth â—â—d Christian faith 'gainst Antichristian crime â—â—â— Father did begin lâ—in my prime â—â—h Baal and Beltall from this Kingdome droue With concords true harmonious heauenly chime â—â—â—'d be said and sung Gods truth and loue â—â—â— vertue vnto vertue still I stroue â—â—â—'d beloued both of God and men â—â—y soule vnto her Maker soar'd aboue â—â—â—y earthly part return'd to earth agen Thus Death my faire proceedings did preuent And Peeres and People did my loffe lament Anno Dom. 1546 Ianuary 28 Thursday Edward the 6 borne at Hampton Court the only son and Heire to King Henry the 8 at 9 yeers of age began his reigne ouer this kingdome hee was crowned the 27 day of February 1547 at Westminster by the hands of Thomas Cranmer Arcbishop of Canterbury his vnkle by the mother side Edward Earle of Hestford and Duke of Somerset was gouernomy of his person and kingdome This King was a second losias inreforming many errors on the Church he was contracted to the Lady Mary this young Queene of Scotland daughter and sole beyre to King Iames the fiâ—â—t mother to our late King Iames deceased and Grandmother to our gracious Someraigne King Charles now reigning but some â—â—â— spirits brake of the match which caused much blood shed for the Duke of Somerset entred Scotland with a strong Army whom the Scottish Nobitâ—â—â— with their powers met at a place neere Musklebrough where was sought a fierce and sharpe battell where many men at â—â—â— on both sides but in the end the victory tell to be English us the meane space the young Queene was conveyed into France where afterward she â—â—â— the Dolphin Rebellion in Cornewall commotion in Norfolke descention in many places and lastly in the Northren parts of England some striuâ—ng to bold vp the rotten fragments of Romish Religion some seeking lawlesse liberty to haue all things in command to lay open all enclosures so that much mischief was done and at last ended with executions of the slaughter and executions of many of the Rebels in diuers places of this Lasâ—â—i Malice and mischiefe had no sooner done amongst the Commons but they thrust themselues amongst the Nobilsty The Lord Protector procured or tollerated his brother the Lord Thomas Seimer to be beheaded and shortly after himselfe followed the same way whose death was much bewailed by the poore Commons and the King neuer haâ— he heath or ioy after the deathes of both his Vnkles This hopefull France was endued with wisdom farre about his yeeres he was tearned and a louer of learning he was exceedingly delighted in reading the Scriptures he was iust merestull â—â—â—ing and beloued hee ended his late at Greenwich fifth day of Iuly Anno 1552 in the fix entbyeere at his age when he had reigned sixe yeeres nine months eight dayes He was buried at westminster MARY QVEENE OF ENGLAND FRANCE and IRELAND Desender of the Faith c. NO sooner I possest the Royall Throne But true Religion straight was dispossest Bad Councell caus'd Rome Spaine and I as one To persecute to martyr and molest All that the vnstain'd truth of God profest All such as dar'd oppugne the pow'rfull Pope With grieuous tortures were opprest and prest With Axes Pire and Faggot and the Rope Scarce any Land beneath the Heauenly Cope Afflicted was as I caus'd this to bee And when my Fortunes were in highest hope Death at the fiue yeeres end arrested mee No Bale would serue I could command no ayd But I in prison in my graue was laid Anno. Dom. 1553 Iuly 6 Thursday Queene Mary was borne at Creenwich elder daughter to King Henry the eight and sister
retired themselues from the City into the Country Whence I noted the peoples Charity and great amendment â—or they had giuen ouer one of the seuen deadly sinnes which was Couetoâ—â—nesse and in many places were so farre out of loue of a Citizens money that they abhor'd and hated either to â—ouch or receiue it entertaining them with bitter worme-wood welcome which hearbe was â—n more request amongst many of them then any of the heauenly Graces or Cardinall Vertues â—et the hearbe of Grace was in much estimation although the name of it was a document that they had occasion to Rue the Time I further perceiued that they were so farre from beleeuing or â—rediting any man that they would or durst not trust their owne noses but were doubtfull that â—hat sence would conspire with the Plague to murther them wherefore like cunning Mariâ—ers or mole-catchers they would craftily in their streetes and high-wayes fetch the wind of â—ny man although they were ouer shooes boots sometimes tumbled into a ditch for their â—abours This was the time when a man with a night-cap at noone would haue frighted a whole Parish out of their wits when to call for Aquae-vitae though it had bin but to make a drench for â— sicke horse was enough to haue his house shut vp When Lord haue mercy vpon vs made many of them tremble more then God Refuse Renounce Confound or Damne When a man trauailing â—n the habit of a Citizen was a meere Bulbegger when for a man to say that hee came from Hell would yeed him better well-come without money then one would giue to his owne father and mother that came from London In this time of mans great miseâ—y and small mercy I tooke my pen in hand and wrote this ensuing discourse I haue as neere as I could suited it sadly according to the nature of the subiect And truly because that the bare and naked truth was so cleare and ample that I need not to stuffe it out with friuolous fables or fantasticall fictions with my soule I thankefully acknowledge Gods great mercy extended towards mee one of the most wretched and wicked in that so many thousands of better life and conuersation haue fallen on my right hand and on my left and round about me yet hath his gracious protection beene my guard for the which in my gratitude to my God and to auoyd the sinne of idlenesse I haue written what those that can may reade THE FEAREFVLL SVMMER OR LONDONS CALAMITIE THe Patience and long suffering of our God Keepes close his Quiuer and restraines his Rod And though our crying Crimes to Heau'n doe cry For vengeance on accurst Mortality Yea though we merit mischiefes manifold Blest Mercy doth the hand of Iustice hold But when that Eye that sees all things most cleare Expects our finits of Faith from yeere to yeere Allowes vs painefull Pastors who bestow Great care and toyle to make vs fruitfull grow And daily doth in those weake Vessels send The dew of Heauen in hope we will amend Yet at the last he doth perceiue and see That we vnfruitfull and most barren be Which makes his indignation frowne And as accursed Fig-trees cut vs downe Thus Mercy mock'd plucks iustice on our heads And griâ—uous Plagues our Kingdome ouerspreads Then let vs to our God make quicke returning With true contrition fasting and with mourning The Word is God and God hath spoke the Word If we repent he will put vp his sword Hee 's grieu'd in panishing Hee 's slow to Ire And HE a sinners death doth not desire If our Compunction our Amendment show Our purple sinues Hee 'll make as white as snow If we lament our God is mercifull Our scarlet crimes hee 'll make as white as wooll Faire London that did late abound in blisse And wast our Kingdomes great Metropolis 'T is thou thar art deieâ—â—â—ed low in state Discâ—â—â—late and almost desolate The hand of Heau'n that onely did protect thee Thou hast prouok'd moil iustly to correct thee And for thy pride of Heart and deeds vniust He layes thy Pompe and Glory in the dust Thou that wast late the Queene of Cities nam'd Throughout the world admir'd renown'd fam'e Thou that hadst all things at command and will To whom all England was a hand-maide still For rayment fewell fish fowle beasts for food For fruits for all our Kingdome counted good Both neere and farre remote all did agree To bring their best of blessings vnto thee Thus in conceite thou seem'dst to rule the Fates Whilst peace and plenty flourish'd in thy Gates Could I relieue thy miseries as well As part I can thy woes and sorrowes tell Then should my Cares be eas'd with thy Reliefe And all my study how to end thy griefe Thou that wer't late rich both in friends wealth Magnificent in state and strong in health As chiefest Mistris of our Country priz'd Now chiefly in the Country art despis'd The name of London now both farre and neere Strikes all the Townes and Villages with scare And to be thought a Londoner is worse Then one that breakes a house or takes a purse He that will filch or steale now is the Time No Iustice dares examine him his crime Let him but say that he from London came So full of Feare and Terrour is that name The Constable his charge will soone forsake And no man dares his Mâ—â—nus to make Thus Citizens plag'd for the Citie sinnes Poore entertainement in the Country winnes Some feare the City and fly thence amaine And those are of the Country fear'd againe Who 'gainst theÌ„ bar their windows their doores More then they would 'gainst Tuâ—ks or Iewes or Moores â—hinke if very Spaniards had come there â—heir well-come had bin better and their cheare Whilst Hay-cock lodging with hard slender fare Welcome like dogs vnto a Church they are â—are makes them with the Anaâ—aptists ioyne For if an Hostesse doe receiue their coyne She in a dish of water or a paile Will now baptize it lest it something aile Thus many a Citizen well flor'd with gold Is giad to lye vpon his mother â—old His bed the map of his mortailty His curtaines clouds aud Heau'n his Canopy The russet Plow-swaine and the Leathren Hinde Through feare is growne vnmannerly vnkinde And in his house to harbour hee 'll prefer An Infidell before a Londoner And thus much friendship Londoners did win The Deuill himselfe had better welcome bin Those that with trauell were tir'd famâ— and dry For want of drinke might slaâ—e choke and dye For why the hob-nau'd Boores inhumane Blocks Vncharitable Hounds hearts hard as Rocks Did sufter people in the field to sinke Rather then giue or sell a draught of drinke Milke-maides Farmers wiues are growne so nice They thinke a Citizen a Cockatrice And Country Dames are wax'd so coy and briske They shun him as they 'll shun a Basiliske For euery one the sight of him would siye All scaring he would kill
were in her Regiment vnder her command were named as followeth 1 The Dainly a ship purposely built for the carriage of such things as were farre fetcht and deare bought and by consequence prouerbially good for Ladies 2 The Pride an intolerable gawdy vessell of an exceeding losty sayle with top and top gallant 3 The Coy a little Frigot of small seruice 4 The Disdaine a great ship of much vse but of very strange course or steerage 5 The Nice a Frigot that carried the sweet meats or confectionary 6 The Fashion a Gallysoist onely for the seruice of the wardrope 7 The Bable a small Frigot onely for pleasure 8 The Toy a Pinnace that was appointed to attend and follow the Fashion 9 The wanton a Katch 10 The Gengawe a Hoygh 11 The Whimâ—rham a Drumler All these three were of most especiall vse and seruice for the Ladyship whose chiefe charge and imployment was to weare eate and drinke the best and withall not to pester wrong or oppresse the fleet â—â—â—â—â— good examples or directions The Good fellow-SHIP with her Regiment THis Ship is very old and much out of reparations She hath beene of such vse and imployment that shee hath sayled into all Countries of the inhabitable world she onely is the greatest traueller for there is not a Hauen or harbour vnder the Sunne but shee hath cast Anker in it Wine Marchants Vintners Brewers and Victuallers haue thrust themselues into the whole Lordships by the often returnes lading and vnlading of this ship yet now she is so weather-beaten with the stormes of time and so wind-shaken with too much vse that through want shee is not able to beare halfe the sayle which she formerly hath done In the golden age when Saturne raigned long before the two wrangling words Thine and Atine had set the world together by the eares then was the Good fellowship in such request that all Estates coÌ„ditions failed in her then her voyages and quicke returnes her lading being for the most part hearty loue and true affection did maintaine and keepe such vnity that whosoeuer was not a Mariner or Sayler in her was â—csteemed as a branded stigmatiz'd infamous person But at last her Nauigators began to steere another course for some of them had learned the art of couetousnesse and with a deuillish kind of bawdry cald vsury and extortion made gold and siluer engender and beger yeerely so much and so much the hundred when Taylors like so many wicked spirits flew from one Country to another bringing home more fashions then would kill a hundred thousand horses when for the maintainance of those fashions the earth was equally shared and deuided amongst the people some all and some not a foot with hedges ditches bounds mownds walls and markes when my Laâ—â—â—â—â—â— Rusty began to take such a thrifty order that all the meare in the kitchin should be cheaper then the washing and painting of her Visage if you allow the poudring of her bought or borrowed Periwig into the bargaine when the world came to this passe then this Good Ship this Good-fellowship being forsaken of her Pilots Masters and Mariners all her Saylers in little time declined to bee no better then Swabbers so that through want of skilfull managing and reparation and with extreme age shee is nothing so seruiceable zâ— she hath beene yet as she is shee sets forward with her best ability in this Voyage The Cayâ—â—â— taines name was Hercules Dumplin a Norsolâ—â— Gentleman the Master Gtles Gammon 〈…〉 borne at Rumforde the rest of the Mariners â—â— were needles to name them The other Ships and vessels that were â—â— the same Regiment with the Goodfellowshipâ—â— were these 1 The Drunken Sisse a great ship itâ—â— thought shee was built at Middleborough bâ—â—â— howsoeuer she hath made many voyages in to England she is so beloued that she neeâ—â—â— not presse any man to serue in her for all soâ—â— of people doe daily come aboord of her and freely and voluntarily offer her their best seâ—â—uice so that it is a wonder to see how brauety she is man'd and many times women dâ—â— take their turnes at helme and steere theâ—â— courses as well as men She is a ship contrary to all other ships for she rowles reeles and tumbles most of all when she is in a calme hâ—â—bour and the more lading she takes in the more vnsteady she is for if the sea be as calm as a milke-pan yet is she euer tossing which makes her Mariners sea-sicke and subiect â—â—â— much casting Her Ordnance are Gallowâ— Pottles Quarts Pints and the mizers Gâ—â—lon with three hoop'd Pots Kannes Goddards in the which Artillery almost euery one hath the skill to charge and discharge maintaining the fight as long as they can either stand or vnderstand The Master of her is an â—msterdam'd man his name is Cornetis van Broaken-guleh the Master Gunner was end Dâ—nis whirlpoele a man of Deepe with Gulph the Purser Snallow the Boat-swaine and Swili the Steward 2 The second ship in the Regiment with the Good-fellow ship was the sow of Flushing she was a vessell vnseemely to the eye but yet seruiceable 3 The Carowse a ship of hot seruice and as the Spider suckes the sweetnesse of the fairest flowers conuerting their juice into poison so the saylers in this ship haue taken a vseto drinke other mens healths to the amplifying â—â— their owne diseases 4 The Quaffe a quicke smart ship much of â—â—ebulke and carriage of the Carowse 5 The Bissle of Breda a small ship yet in â—â—ntinuall seruice her worst fault is she is so â—â—we built that her Mariners can hardly keepe themselues dry 6 The Sleeper of Roterdam a great ship of exceding necessary vse and much imployment â—â—e is to the whole Regiment in nature of an Hospitall or Spittle for-when any of them are â—â—ounded Pot-shot Iug-bitten or Cup shaâ—â—n so that they haue lost all reasonable faculâ—â—es of the minde and in a manner are so mad â—â—at they dare speake felony whistle treason â—â—d call any Magnifico a mungrell in such desâ—erate cases as this the distracted parties are â—â—ought aboord the Sleeper where Time like a â—â—ood Cloth worker with setting a good nap â—â—on their threed-bare eyes their wits that â—â—ere spent and like Northern Cloth shrunke â—â— the wetting are speedily recouered So likewise for the limbs and members of â—â—e body she is the onely AEsculapian Taberâ—â—acle and to speake the truth St. Winifrides Well the Bath or the Spaw are not to bee â—â—mpared to this ship for speedy ease and â—â—re for I haue seene many that were so dimâ—â—ghted that they could not see their way at â—â—oone-day and others haue beene so defeâ—â—iue in their speech that they could not speak â—â—ne wife word others so lame of their legges â—â—at they could neither goe or stand and with â—â— few houres lying aboord of this easie ship â—â—eir fights speech and legges haue beene â—ll recouered 7 The Whiffe a small Pinnace of Varina 8 The
calling by all meanes to make the reckoning great or to make vs men of great reckoning But in his payment he was tyred like a Iade leauing the Gentleman that was with me to discharge the terrible Short or else one of my horses must haue laine in pawne for his superfluous calling and vnmannerly intrusion But leauing him I left Huntington and rode on the Sunday to Puckeridge where Master Holland at the Faulkon mine old acquaintance and my louing and ancient Hoste gaue mee my friend my man and our horses excellent cheere and welcome and I paid him with Not a penny of money The next day I came to London and obscurely coming within More-gate I went to a house and borrowed money And so I stole backe againe to Iflington to the signe of the Mayden head staying till Wednesday that my friends came to meete me who knew no other but that Wednesday was my first comming where with all loue I was entertained with much good cheere and after Supper we had a play of the life and death of Guy of Warwicke played by the Right Honourable the Earle of Darbâ— his men And so on the Thursday morning being the fifteenth of October I came home to my house in London THE EPILOGVE TO ALL MY ADVENTVRERS AND OTHERS THus did I neither spend or begge or aske By any course direct or indirectly But in each tittle I perform'd my taske According to my bill most circumspectly I vow to God I haue done SCOTLAND wrong And iustly ' gainst me it may bring an Action I haue not giuen 't that right which doth belong For which I am halle guilty of detraction Yet had I wrote all things that there I saw Misiudging censures would suppose I flatter And so my name I should in question draw Where Asses bray and prattling Pies doe chatter Yet arm'd with truth I publish with my Pen That there th' Almighty doth his blessings heape In such aboundant food for Beasts and Men That I ne're saw more plenty or more cheape Thus what mine eyes did see I doe beleeue And what I doe beleeue I know is true And what is true vnto your hands I giue That what I giue may be beleeu'd of you But as for him that sayes I lye or dote I doe returne and turne the Lye in 's throate Thus Gentlemen amongst you take my ware You share my thankes and I your moneyes share Yours in all obseruance and gratefulnesse euer to be commanded IO TAYLOR FINIS THE GREAT EATER OR PART OF THE ADMIRABLE TEETH AND STOMACKS EXPLOITS OF NICHOLAS WOOD OF HARRISOM IN THE COVNTY OF KENT HIS EXCESSIVE MANNER OF EATING WITHOVT MANNERS IN STRANGE AND TRVE MANNER DESCRIBED BY IOHN TAILOR REcords and Histories doe make memorable mention of the diuersitie of qualities of sundry famous persons men and women in all the Countries and Regions of the world how some are remembred for their Piety and Pitty some for Iustice some for Seuerity for Learning Wisedome Temperance Constancie Patience with all the vertues Diuine and morall Some againe haue purchased a memory for Greatnesse and Talnesse of body some for Dwarfish smalnesse some for beautifull outsides faire feature and composition of Limbs and stature many haue gotten an earthly perpetuity for cruelty and murther as Nero Commodus and others for Leachery as Heliogabalus for Drunkennesse Tiberius alias Biberius for Effeminacy as Sardanapalus for Gluttony Aulus Vitellius who at one supper was serued with two thousand sorts of fishes and seuen thousand sowles as Suetonius writes in his ninth Booke and Iosephus in his fifth Booke of the Iewes warres Calâ—gula was famous for Ambition for hee would bee ador'd as a God though he liu'd like a Deuill poysoning â—â—â— Vnkle and deflowring all his Sisters And in â—â— ages and Countries time hath still producâ—â— particular persons men women either â—â—â— their vertnes or their vices to be remembred that by meditating on the good we may bâ— imitating their goodnesse and by viewing â—â—â—â— bad we might be eschewing thier vices To descend lower to more familiar examples I haue knowne a great man very expâ—â—â— on the Iewe-harpe a rich heire excellenâ—â— Noddy a Iustice of the Peace skilfull â—â— Quoytes a Marchants wife a quicke Gaâ—â—â—ster at Irish especially when she came to beâ—ring of men that she would seldome misse â—â—â—â—tring Monsieur La Ferr a French-man â—â—â— the first inuentor of the admirable Gameâ— Double-hand Hot-cockles Gregorie Daâ—â—â—â— an English man deuised the vnmatchable mystery of Blind-man-buffe Some haue â—â—â— a gility to ride Poast some the facility â—â—runne Poast some the dexterity to â—â—â—â— Post and some the ability to speake poâ—â— For I haue heard a fellow make a Hackney â—â— his tongue in a moment he hath gallop'dâ— â—ye from China to London without Bridle or â—addle Others doe speake poast in a thicke â—â—â—â—ing kind of Ambling-trot and that in â—â—ch speede that one of them shall talke more â—â— one quarter of an houre then shall be vnderstood in seuen yeeres And as euery one â—â—â—h particular qualities to themselues and diâ—â—onant from others so are the manners of â—iues or liuings of all men and women vaâ—ious one from another as some get their liâ—ing by their tounges as Interpreters Lawâ—ers Oratours and Flatterers some by â—â—yles as Maquerellaes Concubines Curâ—â—â—anes or in plaine English Whores Some by theiâ— feete as Dancers Lackeyes Footmen and Weauers and Knights of the publicke or common order of the Forke Some by their braines as Politicians Monopolists Proiectmongers Suit-ioggers and Stargaâ—ers Some like the Salamander liue by fire â—s the whole Race of Tubalcaine the Vulâ—anean Broode of Blacksmiths fire-men Colliers Gunners Gun-founders and all sorts of mettle-men Some like the Cameleon by the Ayre and such are Poets Trumpetters Cornets Recorders Pipers Bag-pipers and some by smoake as Tobaconists Knights of the Vapour Gentlemen of the Whiffe Esquires of the Pipe Gallants in Fumo Some liue by the Water as Herrings doe such are Brewers Vintners Dyers Mariners Fisher-men and Sâ—ullers And many like Moles liue by the Earth as griping Vsurers racking Landlords toyling Plowmen moyling Labourers painefull Gardners and others Amongst all these before mentioned and many more which I could recite this subiect of my Pen is not for his qualitie inferiour to any and as neere as I can I will stretch my wit vpon the Tenters to describe his name and Character his worthy Actes shall be related after in due time duely And Be it knowne vnto all men to whom these presents shall come that I Iohn Taylor Waterman of Saint Sauiours in Southwarke in the County of Surrey the Writer hereof c. will write plaine truth bare and threed-bare and almost starke-naked-truth of the descriptions and remarkable memorable Actions of Nicholâ—â— Wood of the Parish of Harrisóm in the County of Kent Yeoman for these considerations following First I were to blame to write more then truth because that which is knowne to be true is enough Sâ—condly
that which is onely true is too much Thirdly the truth will hardly be beleeued being so much beyond mans reason to conceiue Fourthly I shall runne the hazzard to bee accounted a great lyer in writing the truth Lastly I will not lye on purpose to make all those lyers that esteeme me so Yet by your leaue Master Critick you must giue me licence to flourish my Phrases to embellish my lines to adorne my Oratory to embroder my speeches to enterlace my words to draw out my sayings and to bumbaste the whole suite of the businesse for the time of your wearing For though truth appeareth best bare in matters of Iustice yet in this I hold it decent to attire her with such poore raggs as I haue in stead of Robes First then the place of his birth and names of his parents are to me a meere Terraincognita as farre from my knowledge as content from a Vsurer or honesty from a Bawde but if hee be no Christian the matter is not much hee will serue well enough for a man of Kent and if his education had beene as his Feeding it is euident he had been of most mighty breeding he hath gotten a foule name but I know not if it came to him by Baptisme for it is partly a Nick-name which in the totall is Nicholas I would abate him but a Saint and call him Nicholas Shambles and were the goodnesse of his purse answerable to the greatnesse of his appetite out of all question no man below the Moone would be a better customer to a shambles then he for though he be chaste of his body yet his minde is onely vpon flesh he is the onely Tugmutton or Muttonmonger betwixt Douer and Dunbarr for hee hath eaten a whole Sheepe of sixteene shillings price raw at one meale pardon me I thinke hee left the skin the wooll the hornes and the bones but what talke I of a Sheepe when it is apparantly knowne that he hath at one repast and with one dish feasted his Carkas with all manner of meates All men will confesse that a Hogge will eate any thing either fish flesh fowle root herbe or excrement and this same noble Nick Nicholas or Nicholas Nick hath made an end of a Hogge all at once as if it had bin but a Rabbet â—ucker and presently after for fruit to recreate his palate he hath swallowed three peckes of Damsons thus Philosophically by way of a Chimicall Inâ—usion as a Hogge will eate all things that are to be eaten so he in eating the Hogge did in a manner of extraction distill all manner of meates thorow the Limbeck of his paunch But hold a little I would be loath to cloy my Reader with too much meate and fruit at onceâ— so that after your Sheepe Hogge and Damsons I thinke it best to suffer you to pawse and picke your teeth if you haue any whilst I spend a few words more in Paraphrasing vpon his surname Wood is his Appellation Denomination or how you please to tearme it Some of the ancient Philosophers haue compared man to a Tree with the bottome vpwards whose roote is the Braine the Armes Hands Fingers Legges Feete and Toes are the Limbs and Branches the comparison is very significant many Trees doe bring forth good fruit so doe some fewe men Some stately Trees growe high and faire yet stand for nothing but shades and some men grow high and lofty yet are nothing but shaddows Some Trees are so malignant that nothing can prosper vnder the compasse of their branches and some men are so vnlucky that very few can thriue in their seruice And as of one part of a Tree a Chaire of State may be made and of another part a carued Image and of a third part a stoole of office So men being compounded and composed all of one mould and mettle are different and disconsonant in estates conditions and qualities Too many like the barren Fig-tree beare leaues of hypocrisie but no fruites of Integrity who serue onely for a flourish in this life and a flame â—â— that hereafter So much for that now to returne to my Theame of Wood indeed this last disgressioâ— may make my Reader thinke that I could noâ— see wood for trees what Wood he is I know not but by his face he should be Maple oâ— Crab-tree and by his stomacke sure he iâ— heart of Oake some say he is a Meddler but by his stature he seemes like a low short Pine and certaine I am that hee is Popular a well tymberd piece or a store house for belly tymber Now Gentlemen as I haue walked you amongst the Trees and thorow the Wood I pray set downe and take a taste or two moâ—e of this Banquet What say you to the Leafe or Flecke of â— Brawne new kild to be of weight eight pound and to be eaten hot out of the Bores belly raw much good doe you Gallants was it not â— glorious dish and presently after in stead of â—uckets twelue raw puddings I speake not one word of drinke all this while for indeed he is no drunkard hee abhorres that â—winish vice Alehouses nor Tapsters cannot nick this Nick with froth curtoll Cannes tragical blacke-pots and double-dealing bumbasted Iugges could neuer cheate him for one Pinâ—â— of Beere or Ale is enough to wash downe â— Hog or water a Sheepe with him Two Loynes of Mutton and one Loyne of Veale were but as three Sprats to him Once at Sir Warrham Saint Leigers house and at Sâ—â— William Sydleyes he shewed himselfe so valiant oâ— Teeth and Stomacke that hee ate as much as would well haue seru'd and suffic'd thirty men so that his belly was like to turne bankerupt and breake but that the Seruing-men turn'd him to the fire and anoynted his paunch with Greace and Butter to make it stretch and hold and afterwards being layd in bed hee slepâ— eight houres and fasted all the while which when the Knight vnderstood he commanded him to be laid in the stocks and there to endure as long time as he had laine bedrid with eating Pompey the Great Alexander the Great Tâ—â—berlanâ— the Great Charlemagne or Charles the â—reat Arthur the Great all these gat the â—itle of Great for conquering Kingdomes â—â—d killing of men and surely eating is not a â—â—eaâ—er sinne then rapine theft manslaughâ—â— and murther Therefore this noble Eaâ—aâ—â—â— doth well deserue the Tytle of Great whereâ—â—re I instile him Nicholas the Great Eater â—nd as these forenamed Greats haue ouerâ—rowne and wasted Countreyes and Hosts â—f men with the helpe of their Soldiers and â—â—llowers so hath our Nick the Great in â—â—â—â— owne person without the helpe or ayde â—f any man ouercome conquered and deâ—oured in one weeke as much as would haue â—â—fficed a reasonable and sufficient Army in a â—â—y for hee hath at one meale made an assault â—pon seuen dozen of good Rabbets at the â—ord Wootons in Kent which in the totall is â—â—ure-score which number would well haue â—â—ffic'd
into their Countrey So that he earnestly disswaded me from the iourney if I loued my life and welfare at last he concluded his discourse with me by a summe of mony that he threw downe from a window thorow which he looked out into a sheete tied vp by the foure corners and hanging very neere the ground a hundred pieces of siluer each worth two shillings sterling which counteruailed ten pounds of our English mony this businesse I carried so secretly by the helpe of my Persian that neither our English Ambassadour nor any other of my Countrymen sauing one special priuate and intrinsicall friend had the least inkling of it till I had throughly accomplished my designe for I well knew that our Ambassadour would haue stopped and Barracadoed all my proceeding therein if he might haue had any notice thereof as indeed he signified vnto mee after I had effected my proiect alleaging this forsooth for his reason why he would haue hindred me because it would redound somewhat to the dishonour of our Nation that one of our Countrey should present himselfe in that beggerly and poore fashion to the King out of an insinuating humour to craue money of him But I answered our Ambassadour in that stout and resolute manner after I had ended my businesse that hee was contented to cease nibbling at me neuer had I more need of money in all my life then at that time for in truth I had but twenty shillings sterling left in my purse by reason of a mischance I had in one of the Turkes Cities called Emert in the country of Mesopotamia where a miscreant Turke stripped me of almost all my monyes according as I wrote vnto you in a very large letter the last yeere which I sent from the Court of this mighty Monarch by one of my Countrymen that went home by Sea in an English shippe laden with the commodities of this India which letter I hope came to your hands long since After I had beene with the King I went to a certain Noble and generous Christian of the Armenian race two dayes iourney from the Mogols court to the end to obserue certaine remarkeable matters in the same place to whom by meanes of my Persian tongue I was so welcome that hee entertained me with very ciuill courteous complement and at my departure gaue mee very bountifully twenty pieces of such kind of mony as the King had done before counteruayling forty shillings sterling About ten dayes after that I departed from Azmere the court of the Mogoll Prince to the end to begin my Pilgrimage after my long rest of fourteene moneths backe againe into Persia at what time our Ambassadour gaue mee a piece of Gold of this Kings Coyne worth foure and twenty shillings which I will saue if it bee possible till my ariuall in England so that I haue receiued for beneuolences since I came into this countrey twenty markes sterling sauing two shillings eight pence and by the way vpon the confines of Persia a little before I came into this country three and thirty shillings foure pence in Persian money of my Lady Sherly aâ— this present I haue in the City of Agra where-hence I wrote this letter about twelue pounds sterling which according to my manner of liuing vpon the way at two pence sterling a day for with that proportion I can liue pretty well such is the cheapnesse of all eateable things in Asia drinkable things costing nothing for seldome doe I drinke in my pilgrimage any other liquor then pure water will maintaine me very competently three yeeres in my trauell with meat drinke and clothes Of these gratuities which haue beene giuen me willingly would I send you some part as a demonstration of the filiall loue and affection which euery child bred in ciuility and humility ought to performe to his louing and good mother but the distance of space betwixt this place and England the hazard of mens liues in so long a iourney and also the infidelity of many men who though they liue to come home are vnwilling to render an account of the things they haue receiued doe not a little discourage mee to send any precious token vnto you but if I liue to come one day to Constantinople againe for thither I doe resolue to goe once more by the grace of Christ and therehence to take my passage by land into Christendome ouer renouned Greece I will make choice of some substantiall and faithfull Countriman by whom I will send some prety token as an expression of my dutifull and obedient respect vnto you I haue not had the oportunity to see the King of Persia as yet since I came into this country but I haue resolued to goe to him when I come next into his Territories and to search him out wheresoeuer I can find him in his Kingdome for seeing I can discourse with him in his Persian tongue I doubt not but that going vnto him in the forme of a Pilgrime hee will not onely entertaine me with good words but also bestow some worthy reward vpon me beseeming his dignity and person for which cause I am prouided before-hand with an excellent thing written in the Persian-tongue that I meane to present vnto him and thus I hope to get beneuolences of worthy persons to maintaine me in a competent manner in my whole pilgrimage till come into England which I hold to be as laudable and a more secure course then if I did continuall carry store of mony about mee In the letter which I wrote vnto you by an English ship the last yeere I made relation vnto you both of my iourney from the once holy Hierusalem hither and of the state of this Kings Court and the Customes of this Country therefore I hold it superfluous to repeat the same things againe but what the Countryes are that I meane to see betwixt this and Christendome and how long time I will spend in each country I am vnwilling to aduertise you of at this present desiring rather to signifie that vnto you after I haue performed my designe then before howbeit in few words I will tell you of certaine Cities of great renoune in former times but now partly ruined that I resolue by Gods helpe to see in Asia where I now am namely ancient Babylon and Nimrods Tower some few miles from Niniue and in the same the Sepulcher of the Prophet Ionas spacious and goodly Câ—â— in Egypt heretofore Memphis vpon the famous Riuer Nilus where Moses Aaron and the children of Israel liued with K. Pharaoh whose ruined Palace is shewed there till this day and a world of other moueable things as memorable as any City of the whole world yeeldeth sauing onely Ierusalem but in none of these or any other Cities of note doe I determine to linger as I haue done in other places as in Constantinople and Azmere in this Easterne India onely some few daies will I tarry in a principall citie of fame to obserue euery
principall matter there and so be gone In this city of Agra where I am now I am to remaine about 6. weeks longer to the end to expect an excellent opportunity which then wil offer it selfe vnto me to goe to the famous riuer Ganges about 5. dayes iourney from this to see a memorable meeting of the gentle people of this countrey called Baicans whereof about foure hundred thousand people goe thither of purpose to bathe and shaue themselues in the Riuer and to sacrifice a world of gold to the same Riuer partly in stamped money and partly in massie great lumpes and wedges throwing it into the Riuer as a sacrifice and doing other strange Ceremonies most worthy the obseruation such a notable spectacle it is that no part of all Asia neither this which is called the great Asia nor the lesser which is now called Natolia the like is to be seene This shew doe they make once euery yeere comming thither from places almost a thousand miles off and honour their Riuer as their God Creator and Sauiour superstition and impiety most abominable in the highest degree of these brutish Ethnicks that are aliens from Christ and the common-wealth of Israel After I have seene this shew I will with all expedition repaire to the city of Lahore twenty dayes iourney from this and so into Persia by the helpe of my blessed Christ. Thus haue I imparted vnto you some good accidents that happened vnto me since I wrote a letter vnto you the last yeere from the Kings Court and some little part of my resolution for the disposing of a part of my time of abode in Asia Therefore now I will â—â—aâ— to a conclusion the time I cannot liaâ—â— when I shall come home but as my merciful God and Sauiour shall dispose of it A long rabble or commendations like to that which I wrote in my last letter to you I hold not so requisite to make at this present Therefore with remembrance of some few friends names I will but vp my present Epistle I pray you recommend me first in Odcombe to Master Gallop and euery good body of his family if hee liueth yet to Master Bâ—râ—b his wife and all his family to all the Knights William Chum Iohn Selly Hugh Donne and their wiues to Master Atkins and his wife at Norton I pray you commend mee in Euill to these to old Master Seward if hee liueth his wife and children the poore widow Darby old Master Dyer and his Sonne Iohn Master Ewins old and young with their wiues Master Phelpes and his wife M. Starre and his wife with the rest of my good friends there I had almost forgotten your husband to him also to Ned Barbor and his wife to William Ienings commend me also I pray you and that with respectfull termes to the godly and reuerent fraternity of Preachers that euery second Friday meet at a religious exercise at Euill at the least if that exercise doth continue pray read this letter to them for I thinke they will be well pleased with it by reason of the nouelties of things And so finally I commit you and all them to the blessed protection of Almighty God From Agra the Capitall City of the Dominion of the great Mogoll in the Easterne India the last of October 1616. Your dutifull louing and obedient Sonne now a desolate Pilgrim in the World THOMAS CORIAT The Copy of a speech that I made to a Mahometan in the Italian tongue THe Copie of a speech that I made extempore in the Italian tongue to a Mahometan at a City called Moltan in the Eastern India two daies iourny beyond the famous Riuer Indus which I haue passed against Mahomet and his accursed Religion vpon the occasion of a discourtesie offered vnto me by the said Mahometan in calling mee Giaur that is infidell by reason that I was a Christian the reason why I spake to him in Italian was because he vnderstood it hauing been taken slaue for many yeeres since by certaine Florentines in a Gally wherein he passed from Constantinople towards Alexandra but being by them interrupted by the way he was carried to a City called Ligerne in the Duke of Florences Dominions where after two yeeres hee had learned good Italian but he was an Indian borne and brought vp in the Mahometan Religion I pronounced the speech before an hundred people whereof none vnderstood it but himselfe but hee afterward told the meaning of some part of it as farre as he could remember it to some of the others also If I had spoken thus much in Turky or Persia against Mahomet they would haue rosted me vpon a spit but in the Mogols Dominions a Christian may speake much more freely then hee can in any other Mahometan Country in the world The speech was this as I afterward translated it into English BVt I pray thee tell me thou Mahometan dost thou in sadnes call mee Giaur That I doe quoth he Then quoth I in very sober sadnes I retort that shamefull word in thy throate and tell thee plainly that I am a Musulman and thou art a Giaur For by that Arab word Musulman thou dost vnderstand that which cannot be properly applied to a Mahometan but onely to a Christian so that I doe consequently inferre that there are two kindes of Muselmen the one â—n Orthomusulman that is a true Musulman which is a Christian and the other a Pseudo-musulman that is a false Musulman which is a Mahometan What thy Mahomet was from whom thou dost deriue thy Religion assure thy selfe I know better then any one of the Mahometans amongst many millions yea all the particular circumstances of his life and death his Nation his Parentage his driuing Camels through Egypt Syria and Palestina the marriage of his Mistris by whose death hee raised himselfe from a very base and contemptible estate to great honour and riches his manner of coozening the sottish people of Arabia partly by a tame Pigeon that did flye to his eare for meat and partly by a tame Bull that he fed by hand euery day with the rest of his actions both in peace and warre I know aswell as if I had liued in his time or had beene one of his neighbours in Mecca the truth whereof if thou didst know aswell I am perswaded thou wouldest spit in the face of thy Alcaron and trample it vnder thy feet and bury it vnder a laâ—e a booke of that strange and weake matter that I my selfe as meanly as thou dost see mee attired now haue already written two better bookes God be thanked and will here after this by Gods gracious permssion write another better and truer yea I would haue thee know thou Mahometan that in that renouned Kingdome of England where I was borne learning doth so flourish that there are many thousand boyes of sixteene yeeres of age that are able to make a more learned booke theaâ— thy Alcason neither was it as thou and the rest of you Mahometans
selfe-loue all our crimes excusing â—â—â— Consciences true euidence accusing â—â—â— fights and teares the Messengers we send â—â— God that all our sorrowes may haue end â—d then through faith and hope we doe beleeue Againe a pardon better than repreeue â—â—â— lastly death doth free the soule from thrall â—â—â— makes a laile delinery vnto all â—â—â— is our flesh the wals our bones the grates â—â—â— eyes the windowes and our mouthes the gates â—â—â— Nose the Chimney Kitchen is the brest â—â—â— a â—r Sâ—â—cke tongue the taster of the worst and best â—â—â— hands the Caruers teeth the Cookes to mince â—â—â— diet of a Pea sane or a Prince â—â—â— hunger is best sawce as I doe thinke â—â— beliâ—es cellers where we lay our drinke â—â—â— in these corps of ours deciphered thus â—â—â— are prisoners vnto all of vs. â—â—â—race guides vs sowe by grace guide them â—â—â— way vnto the new Ierusalem â—â—â—ne rugged winter with frosts stormes and gusts â—â—â—â—â— prisoners yeerely in the b The earth a Prison earth it thrusts â—â—â— roots flowers fruits worms til sun raine â—â—â—h Summers heat doth baile them forth againe â—â—â—of all men aliue I find c A strait suit is aâ—â— Prison a Tailor â—â—â— appeared artificiall Iailor â—â—â— doe commit themselues vnto his charge â—â—â—may but will by no meanes goe at large â—â—â— stene many in the Taylors Iaies â—â—â— labour'd till they sweat with tooth and nailes â—â—â— whilst a man might ride fiue miles at least â—â—â—their clothes together on the brest â—â—â—being then in prison button'd vp â—â—ose that scarcely they could bite or sup I have heard their pride how loud it lide â—â—esting that their clothes were made too wide a â—â—â— men loue bondage more then liberty â—â—â— 't is a gailant kinde of foolery â—â—â— thus amongst themselues they haue a Law â—â—â—ke and dawbe the backe and pinch the Maw â—â—â— thankes their soules should be in mighty trouble â—â—â— they are imprison'd double â—â—orps and Clothes and which is true and plaine â—â—â— seeme to take great pleasure in their paine â—â—â— hoomaker's a kind of Iailor too â—â—â— very strange exploits he dares to doe â—â—â— many times he hath the power and might â—â—â— into his Stoâ—ks a Lord or Knight d A Shoomakers Prison The Madam and the Maid he cares not whether He laies them all fast by the heeles in lether Plaine f Truth and honesly prisoners Honesty and Truth both Prisoners are Although they seldome come vnto the barre Yet are they kept so closely day and night That in an age they scarsely come in sight And but for many of our Countries pillers True Tailers Weauers and cleane finger'd Millers Good Sericants and kind Brokers did releeue them g A hard case I know not who would any comfort giue them No doubt but many a Lasse that faine would wed Is her owne h A maindenhead often times is a Prisoner Iailor to her maindenhead With much vnwillingnesse she keepes it close And with her heart she 'l gladly let it lose But looke to 't wenches if you giue it scope 'T is gone past all recouery past all hope Much like old Time which ceaselesse doth run on But neuer doth returne once being gone The i The Gowt a prisoner of State Gowt's a sawcy Prisoner and will haue His keepers to maintaine him fine and braue His Iailors shall no needy beggers be But men of honour and of high degree And ouer them he beares such great command That many times they can nor gor nor stand And if he would breake Iaile and flie 't is thought He by his keepers neuer should be sought And k Money a close Prisoner money is close Prisoner I thinke sure Where no man can its liberty procure The Diuels Stewards and his Bailifes vow That monies freedome they will not allow Vnlesse vnto a Miser or a Whore But by all meane faâ—â— hold it from the poore I wish l Amen Coine were as painfull as the Gout To those that hoard it and I make no doubt But miserable Iailers would agree To ope their Prisons and let money flee And were it not a lamentable thing That some great Emperour or some mighty King Should be imprison'd by a vastall slaue And lodg'd aliue as t were within his Graue Such is the case of Siluer and of Gold The chiefest of all mettals fast in hold And darknesse lies held in the Misers stocks m Gold and Siluer kept in bondage by Iron In steele and ironbars and bolts and locks Though gold and siluer royall mettals be Yet are they flanes to yron at we see But leauing Gold and Gowt I le turne my pen To what I haue digrest from Iayles and men Let man examine well himselfe and he Shall find himselfe his n Most men are their owne enemies greatest enemie And that his losse of liberty and pelfe He can accuse non for it but himselfe How passions actions and affections cluster And how to ruinate his state they muster His frailty armes his members and his senses To vndertake most dangerous pretences The backe oft tempts him vnto borrowed brauery And all his body suffers for 't in slauery His Belly tempts him to superfluous fare For which his cops lyes in a Iaylors snare His Eyes from beauty to his heart drawes lust For which he 's often into prison thrust His Eares giue credit to a knaue or theese And 's body suffers for his eares beleefe His Tongue much like a Hackney goes all panes In City Country Court and Campe all places It gallops and false gallops trots and ambles One pace or other still it runnes and rambles Of Kings and Princes states it often prattles Of Church and Common-wealth it idly cattles Of passing of it's word and â—uetiships For which at last the Ioyle the carkassenips Mans Hands haue very oft against him warr'd And made him of his liberty debarr'd A stab a blow a dashing of a pen Hath clap'd him closely in the Iaylors deâ— The Feet which on the ground men daily tread The way to their captiuity doe lead Now for the inward faculties I find Some lye in Prison for their haughty mind Some for their folly sone because too wise Are mew'd vp in the Iaylors on bodies Some for much gaming or for recreation Doe make a Iayle their homely habitation And thus it plainly may be proued well Mans greatest foes with in himselfe doe dwell And now two contraries I will compare To shew how like and how vnlike they are A Iayle our birth and death and getting free These foure doe all agree and disagree For all degrees our birth and life we know Is naturall * Wee are all borne in one forme and come into the world of one fashion but wee dye and leaue the world infinite wayes one way for high and low But death hath many thousand wayes and scares To take our liues away all vo 〈…〉 es And therefore of our liues
be scandaliz'd for it If a Mercer a Grocer a Gold smith or any other of the best Trades be a Traytor a Thiefe or a Debosht Drunkard it were impudent ignorance for the Vices of a few that all the rest of the function should bee reproch'd I will make no odious comparisons but I am perswaded that there are as many honest men of our company as of any other such as doe make a conscience of what they doe such as wil not wrong others though it might be gainfull to themselues Such who are both Religious and Charitable and whose greatest care is to liue in Gods feare that they may die in his fauour And for those that are vnruly ignorant and brutish there is no company hath sharper Lawes or more seuerely executed as the Counters can testifie once a weeke Little ease can witnesse often The whip and the Whipper like a roaring diuell doth many times affirme the naked truth and banishment from the Riuer of Thames for euer now and then cuts off a bad member Besides Fines and Forfeitures are laid vpon the heads of petty offenders that few or none escapes vnpunished if their faults be knowne If the gout be in a mans toe all the body is grieued if a finger ake the rest of the members hath a share in the paine but if many of the Ioynts and members be putrifide then the heart cannot chuse but be craz'd with eare if not wounded so is it with our company that the Abuses and Vices of the worst inferiour members as Gracelesse Godlesse Reprobates are sometimes like a Plague infectious to their betters and a daily heart-griefe to all honest men who are scandalized by their damnable demeanors But all they doe or can doe is nothing to the defaming of the Company for it were very absurd because one in his drinke hath kild a man to impute the fault to the wine or the drinke that he dranke when the blame lies in the drunkard that abus'd Gods good Creatures in taking too much so a Watermans trade is honest necessary and not to be wanted howsoeuer it is abus'd by misgouern'd vnciuill companions If a Water-man would be false in his trade I muse what falshood he could vse hee hath no false weights or measures to curtoll a mans passage but he will land a man for his money and not bate him an inch of the place he is appointed His shop is not darke like a Wollen-Drapers on purpose because the buyer shall not see the coursnesse of the Cloath or the falsenesse of the Colour no his worke and ware is seene and knowne and hee vtters it with the sweat of hiâ— browes the worst fault is that like a Lawyer he will take more then his see if anybody will giue it him very thankfully his bare fare he will take willingly vpon necessity but lesse then his fare or many times nothing me thinkes goes against stomacke I haue seene a Vsurer who hath beene â—â—â— onely for the graue these seuen yeeres being more then halfe rotten with the Gowt the Cough and the Murre who hath lost his conscience to get money and perhaps win damnation who is not able to goe by land and yet will not pay his Fare by water but like the picture of misery will either beg his passage of some seruing-man or bargaine with a Waterman to giue him two pence for sixe penni worth of labour such I haue seene and such there are too many who if they were once buried the wheele of Time would turne and what they got vniustly by extortion oppression and grinding the faces of the poore what they haue vncharitably pinch'd in keeping backe the labourers hyre their Sons or heires perhaps will consume in Law who shall possesse most of that ill gotten goods or else Drinke it Dice it Drab it Reuel and ruffle it till al is gone and as their fathers before them made others to rot in prison so their prodigall Sonnes are holed in some loathsome Iayle being lowzy lodging on the boords and liue vpon the Boxe and the Almes-basket Moreouer too many there are that passe the bounds of liberality and spend most prodigally on a Whore on the diuell of India Tobacco on the superfluous Quarts and Pintes of the blood of Bacchus Sack and Claret Spanish and French on vnlawfull Games and in a word on a thousand vanities they wil carelesly and beyond expectation cast away their cash but vpon a Water-man that hath rowed till his heart ake and sweats till hee hath not a dry thread about him the Gentlemens bounty is asleepe and hee will pay him by the Statute or if hee giue him two pence more he hath done a huge worke beyond the merrit of Suttons Hospitall I my selfe haue often met with a Roaring boy or one of the cursed crew that hath had nothing about him but a Sattin outside to couer â—â—â— his knauery and that none of his owne â—â—ther witnesse his Mercer and his Taylor â—â—â— this Gallant must be shipp'd in a paire of â—â—â— at least but his gay slop hath no sooâ—â—â—â— the Cushions but with a volley of â—â—â— coynd outlies newly brought from hell â—â—â— Bermoodoes by the Ghost of a Knight â—â—â— the poft he hath neuer left Roaring row â—â—â— row a pox on you row as if his punke â—â—ld stay too long for his pestiferous perâ—â—â—â— and when his scuruinesse is landed where â—â—â— leases hee hath told meâ— I must waite on â—â—â— and he will returne to mee presently â—â—â— I shall carry him backe againe and bee â—â—d all together then haue I attended fiue â—â— six houres like Iohn Noakes for nothing â—â—â— my cheating sharke hauing neither mony â—â—â— honesty hath neuer come at mee but â—â—â— some other paire of stayres and in the â—â—â— fashion coozened another Water-man â—â—â— his Boat-hire We must and doe with thankfulnesse conâ—â—â—â—â—â— that the Nobility Gentry and all others â—â—â—â—â—â—â—â— of this Kingdome haue hoâ—â—â—â—â—â— worthy and charitable considerations of â—â—â— want of meanes and multitude of men â—â—â— they doe know that house rent and victuâ—â—â—â—â—â— are at foure times the rate which it was â—â—â— when the Statute was made in Queene Maâ—â—â— â—â—â—â—â— for our fares and as the price of â—â— thing is raised except to â—â—â—â—â—mens labors â—â—â— doe they in conscience very liberally rayse â—â—â— hires accordingly And as before I haue written out grade isâ—â—â—â—â—â—â—â— vsefull and necessary both for the Kings â—ruice and the Commons commodity that it â—â—â— not to be or cannot be wanted and by how â—â—â— the more a Water-man is neere to his â—â—esty to the Queenes Maiesty to the Prinâ—es â—â— Highnesse to the Nobility the Gentry â—â—â— the best of the Commonaity of this Kingâ—ome â—â—â— and sometimes of forraine Nations so â—â—ch the â—â—â—â—â—â—ight Water-men to behaue â—â—emselues honestly and soberly in their â—â—â—â—â—â—â—here are many better trades and quaâ—ties â—â—â— that scarce the best of their Companies â—â—â—â— their â—â—ues â—â—â—â— do come so often and so â—â—â—â—â—â— presence
shee cared not who â—â—â— out 49 A Countrey woman at an Assize was to take her oath against a party the said party enâ—â—ted the Iudge that her oath might not bee â—â—â— the Iudge demaunded why he excepted against her my Lord quoth hee shee is â—Recusant or Romane Catholique and they â—â—â— old it no matter of Conscience to sweare any thing against vs. Come hither woman said â—â—â— Iudge I doe not thinke thou art a Recusant I am perswaded that for fourty shillings thou wilt sweare the Pope is a knaue Good my Lord said shee the Pope is a stranger to mee but if I knew him as well as I know your Lordship I would sweare for halfe the mony 50 A Cardinall kept a knauish foole for his recreation to whom hee said Sirrah foole suppose that all the world were dead but thou and I and that one of vs should be turned to a Horse and the other of vs to an Asse say which of these two wouldest thou choose to bee The foole answered Sir you are my Master and for that respect it is fit that your worship should choose first and I will be contented to take that which you leaue Why then said the Cardinall I would bee a horse no said the foole let me intreat your worship to bee an Asse for I would bee an Asse to chuse of all things why quoth the Cardinall marry said the foole because that I haue knowne many Asses come to bee Iustices but I neuer knew any horse come to the like preferment 51 A Graue discreet Gentleman hauing a comely wife whose beauty and free behauiour did draw her honesty into suspition by whom hee had a sonne almost at mans estate of very dissolute and wanton carriage I muse said one that a man of such stayd and moderate grauity should haue a sonne of such a contrary and froward disposition Sir reply'd another the reason is that his pate is stuffed with his Mothers wit that there is no roome for any of his fathers wisedome besides the lightnesse of her heeles is gotten into her sonnes braines 52 A Rich Grasier dwelling 150 miles from Oxford hauing a sonne that had seuen yeeres beene a student there at last sent for him home to whom hee said Sonne I doe heare that you are well practised in the rudiments of learning but that withall you are addicted to an idle veine of the poore and thredbare art of Poetry which I charge thee to leaue and auoyd as thou tendrest my fauour for my minde is not to haue thee liue beggerly and dye poorely yet I will aske thee one Poeticall question which is Wherefore thinkest thou that so beautifull a creature as Venus was so besotted to match her selfe with so ill fauored a knaue as Vulcan In truth father quoth the young man I can yeeld you no reason for it but I wonder at it and yet I doe admire as much wherefore my mother married with you 53 A Man going with his Wife by a deepe riuer side began to talke of Cuckolds and withall he wisht that euery Cuckold were cast into the riuer to whom his wife replyes husband I pray you learne to swimme 54 A Man riding through a village with his dog running by him which dogs name was called Cuckold leaping and frisking into euery house hee past by where the doore was open whereupon the man being afraid his dogge would bee lost cals and whistles here here Cuckold to whom an old woman said whom dost thou miscall I would haue thee know that no Cuckold doth dwell in this house Good woman said the man you mistake mee I doe call no body but my dog Now out vpon thee thou misbeleeuing knaue said shee where learnedst thou that manners to call a dog by a christen bodies name 55 A Lusty Miller that in his younger daies had beene much giuen to the flesh and the deuill so that not one pretty maid or female seruant did or could bring grist to his Mill to be grownd but the knaue Miller would doe his best to vndermine and blow vp their chastity and withall hee would bargaine with as many as his temptations ouercame that at his day of marriage euery one of them should giue him a Cake In processe of time the Miller was married and those aforesaid free-hearted Wenches sent each one their Cakes to the number of 99. His wife the Bride who also went for a maid did muse and aske what was the meaning of so many Cakes The Miller told her the truth of all without any dissembling to whom his wife answered If I haue beene so wise in bargaining as you haue beene in your time the young men of my acquaintance would haue sent mee 100 cheeses to â—â—â— with your cakes This bawdy Miller in a trap was catch Not onely married but most fâ—â—ly match In this the prouerb is approued plaine What bread men breake is broke to them againe 56 THere was a faire ship of two hundred â—â—â— lying at the Tower-wharse at London where a Country-man passing by most â—â—â— nestly looked on the said ship and demandeâ—â— how old shee was one made answer that sheâ— was a yeere old Good Lord blesse mee saiâ— the Country-man is shee so big growne inâ— one yeere what a greatnesse will shee beeâ— that time shee comes to my age This mans blind ignorance I may compare To Aquavitae giuen to a Mare Let each man his owne calling then apply No sutor vltra crepidam Say l. 57 TWelue Schollers riding together one â—â—â— them said my masters let vs ride faster â—â— Why quoth another me thinks wee ride â—â—â— good pace I 'l warrant it is foure mile â—â—â— houre Alas said the first what is foure mile â—â—â— houre amongst all vs. Let not man boast of wit or learning deepe For ignorance may out of knowledge creepe Amongst 12 men 4 mile an houre to ride He that hath wit to each his share diuide 58 AN Apprentice in the market did aske the price of an hundred Oysters his friend perswaded him not to buy them for they were small to small reply'd the Prentice there â—â—â— not much losse in that for I shall haue the â—â—â— to the hundred â—â—â— the bill a measur'd mile it be â—â—â— the bill's another mile I see â—â—â— to pay 4 pence will quit the cost â—â—â— hundred in the shire is lost 59 Sâ—e Gentlemen riding together were in doubt that they were out of their way â—herefore they rode a flight shot to an old â—â—pheard one of them enquiring of him if â—â—â— were the way to such a town and how far â—â—â— was thither Sir quoth the Shepheard that â—â—â— the right way and you haue sixe miles thither Quoth one of the Gentlemen what a â—â—â— old knaue art thou it cannot be aboue â—â—â— miles the Shepheard reply'd Sir you â—â—â— like a chapman and you shall haue it for â—â—â— miles but I le assure you it shall cost euery one of these Gentlemen sixe miles before They come thither
eldest daughter to Henry the 7. from whom our graciâ—â—â— soueraigne is â—ineally descended Henry the eight An. Dom. 1509. FRom both the Lines and both the Ioynes did spring Of York Lancaster this mighty King Katherine that was his brothers wife of late He tooke to wife and crown'd her Queene in state Empson and Dudley lost their heads at Tower For racking the poore Commons by their power Warres dreadfull wars arose 'twixt vs and French Lord Edward Howard drowned by mis-chance At Brest he was high Admirall in fight Cast ouerboord dy'd like a valiant Knight In England Suffolks Duke did lose his head The King to Turwin did an army lead Turney he wonne with his victorious blade King Iames of Scotland England did inuade But Surries Earleâ— the Scotsh King ouercame Who lost life there but wonne immortall fame Now Cardinall Wolsey in the Kings high Grace Was rais'd to honours from great place to place Lordship on Lordship laid vpon his backe Vntill the burthen was the bearers wracke The Duke of Buckingham his head did lose And Laâ—ber stoutly did the Pope oppose â—â—finde ignorance that long had look'd awry Began to see Truth with a clearer eye And then the King inspir'd with seruent Zeale Reformed both the Church and Common weale â—â—â—â—â— with his power Omnipotent Did make this King his gracious Instrument â—â—T'vnmaske his Truth from Antichristian fables And purge this wofull Land from Babels bables This king at Boloigne was victorious â—â— peace and warre Magnifique Glorious â—â— his rage bounty he did oft expresse His Liberality to bee excesse â—â—â— Reuels Iusts and Turnies he spent more Then fiue of his Fore-fathers did before His Auarice was all for Noble fame Amongst the Worthies to inrole his Name A valiant Champion for the Faiths defence Was the great Title of this mightie Prince â—â—â—â— wiues he had 3 Kates 2. Aunes one Iane Two were diuorc'd two at the blocke were slaine One sonne and two faire daughters he did leaue Who each from other did the Crowne receiue The first was Edward Mary next whose death Left State and Realme to Queene Elizabeth He thirty eight yeeres kept this Royall Roome At windsor hee 's enter'd without a Tombe Lâ—â—th Edenbourgh and diuers other parts of Scotland were spoyled by Sir Iohn Dudley Lord Viscount â—sle Lord high Admirall of England with a Navy of 200 tall Ships Anno 1544. King Henry went to Boloigne hee â—â—â—â— France the 13. of Iuly and into Boloigne the 25. of September in which yeere were taken 300. French â—hips for prices Edward the sixt An. Dom. 1546. HAd this Kings reigne bin long as it was good Religion in a peaceable state had stood What might haue his age bin when his blest youth â—o valiantly aduanc'd Gods sacred truth At nine yeeres age the Crowne on him hee tooke And ere sixteene he Crowne and life for sooke Too good for earth th' Almighty tooke his spirit And Westminster his Carkas doth inherit In his 5. yeere a strange Earth-quake did much harmâ— in diuers places of Surry and a sweating sicknesse generally ouer England that dispatched those that were in good health in 12. houres or 24. at the most In one weeke there dyed of it in London 806. the most of them being men of best strength Queene Mary An. Dom. 1553. AFter a while this Queene had worne the Crown Idolatry was rais'd and Truth put downe The Masse the Images the Beades and Altars By tyrannie by fire and sword and Halters Th'vngodly bloudy Antichristian sway Men were force perforce forced to obey Now burning Bonner London Bishop he Was from the Maâ—sâ—al-sea againe â—â— free Iohn Dudley great Duke of Northumberland And Sir Iohn Gates dyed by the Headsmans hand With them Sir Thomas Palmer likewise dy'd Hoping for heau'n through â—â—â—â—â— Crucified In Latine Seruice must be sung and said Because men should not know for what they praâ—'d The Emp'rors sonne great Philip King of Spaine A marriage with Queene Mary did obtaine Against which match Sir Thomas Wyat rose With powers of Kent the Spaniards to oppose But Wyat was or'throwne his armie fled And on the Tower hill after lost his head Lord Gray the Duke of Suffolke also dy'd An Axe his Corps did from his head diuide A little after the Lord Thomas Gray The Dukes owne brother went that headlesse way A Millers sonne assum'd King Edwardâ— name And falsely in that name the Crowne did claime But he was tane and iustly whip'd and tortur'd And claiming it once more was hang'd quarterd King Philip won Saint Quintins with great cost But after to our shame was Callice lost Callice was lost which threescore yeeres and ten Had beene a Garrison for Englishmen Thus by Gods mercy Englands Queene did dye And England gain'd much ease and rest thereby Fiue yeeres and 4. months was her bloudy reigne And all her glory doth one graue containe Though of her selfe this Queene was well inclin'd Bad-minded counsell altred much her minde She married Philip King of Spaine on Saint Iames his day 1554. at Winchester Callice was won by Edward the 3. in the 21. of his reigne 1347. and it was lost the I. of Ianuary 1557. after the English-men had possest it 210. yeeres August 7. 1558. a tempest neere Nottingham beat downe 2. Townes and Churches and cast the Bels to the further side of the Church-yard threw whole sheetes of Lead 400. foot into the fields where they were crumpled together like burns parchment the streame and mud of the Riuer of Trent was blowne a-land a quarter of a mile a childe blowne out of a mans hand 100. foot and kild there fell hayle 15. Inches about Queene Elizabeth An. Dom. 1558. A Debora a Iudith a Susanna A Virgin a Virago a Diana Couragious Zealous Learned Wise and Chasle With heauenly earthly gifts adorn'd and grac'd Victorious glorious bountious gracious good And one whose vertues dignifi'd her bloud That Muses Graces Armes and liberall Arts Amongst all Queens proclaim'd her Queen of hearts She did repurifie this Land once more From the infection of the Romish whore Now Abbies Abbots Fri'rs Monks Nuns Stews Masses and Masse-priests that mens soules abuse Were all cast downe Lamps Tapers Relikes Beads And Superstitions that mans soule misse-leads All Popish pardons Buls Consessions With Crossings Cristening bels Saints Intercessions The Altars Idols Images downe cast All Pilgrimage and Superstitious Fast Th'acknowledging the Pope for supreme head The holy water and the god of bread The mumbling Mattins and the pickpurse Masse These bables this good Queene did turne to grasse She caus'd Gods seruice to be said and sung In our owne vnderstanding English tongue In Scotland and in France fierce warres she held The Irish she subdu'd when they rebeld The Netherlands her name doe still admire And Spaine her like againe doth not desire When forty foure yeers reigne was past and gone She chang'd her earthly for a heauenly Throne At Greenwich she was borne at Richmond dy'd At
and Prince a Shepheard and a Wolfe Epigram 12. TVmultuous thoughts within my brest deth struggle To thinke how sinely popish Priests can iuggle And make the world beleeue a a wafer g â—though all the Scriptures doe affirme that the corporael preâ—â—â— of Christ is in heauen from whence he will not come in his â—â—â—â— forme till hee comes to â—â—â— eternall â—udgement yet a â—â—â—â—ing Priest will dayly take vpon him to command and him â—â—â—â— and to iuggle him into the shape of a Cake or a piece of bread Cake Is that Creator that did all things make Or that the sinne-polluted bald-crownd Priest With coniurations can create his Christ When our beliefe dâ—th plainly testifie He sits at Gods right hand in Maiestie From whence in humaine for me he will not come Till quicke and dead shall all abide his doome What Fooles are they then thinks the Priest Baker With impious hands makes their immortall maker Epigram 13. NOt all the sophistrie of Aristosle Cannot perswade me but the Pope did erre When he and 's sonne mistooke the poyâ—ned h â—â—â— the 6 and his sonne Casar Borginâ— were both poysoâ—â—d in mistaking their liquor But if his Holinesse had beene in â—â—â— Chayre he could not haue erred in such a matter bottle ' T was ' error sure what euer they inferre O' t had beene good then both for him and 's heyre He had beene haltered fast in Peters Chayre Epigram 14. THe waâ— like Emperours before Christ come Subdu'd the woâ—ld both Sea and Land to Rome Then afterwards the i Heauen Earth sea and Land being all wonne before these â—times by the Emperours and the godly Bishops there reâ—â—â—â—esâ— onely Hell for the Pope to make a lawfull claimeâ—â—â— Heauens their Bishops wonne By preaching truly Gods Immortall Sonne Heauen Earth and Sea being taken in the prime What rests now for the Popes this latter time Since of the heauens and earth they loose their part They will haue hell despight the diuels hart Epigram 15. CHrists Church in no wayes is the k That Church that is so oposite to the doctrine of Christ cannot be Christs wiâ—e but the deuils whore Church of For Paul sayes in the latter time should come Apostates that the truth should quite forsake That lyes and fables should Religion make Affiâ—ming meates and Matrimony euill Which Paul doth call the doctrine of the deuill Then since the Pope and all his shaueling rout What Christ commands they wilfully thrust out I with my betters must conclude this doome The Deuils deere drab must be the Church of Rome Epigram 16. O Yes if any man would know a place Where God himselfe hath neither power nor might Where as th' Alâ—ighty neuer shew'd his face Where words nor swords can neither talke nor sight O such a placeâ— esse place â—â— l God made heauen and earth the Sea and all things contained in them the Pope made Purgatory without Gods leaue or knowledge therefore it is no reason that God should haue any thing to doe there without the Popes leaue Purgâ—â—tory Created by the Pope without Gods leaue To amplifie his Antichâ—â—â—â—ian glory And all the world with counning to deceiue Where as the Pope hangs drawes condemnes and â—dges Commits acquits sets free or â—â—â—â—â—â— all Whether he thousands sends on heapes like drudges For in this no place hee is all in all And like a mighty â—â—â— crownd Pâ—â—â— Prince With threats and banshâ—â—â— so the world be witches In sending thither and recalling â—â—â—â—â— He gaines himselfe the Dâ—â—ll and all for riches Epigram 17. THe m Hâ—s holinesse domineeres ouer all the deuils in this life but t is but borrowed ware for they pay him all his old score when hee dyes and comes to â—â—â— host Pope hath charge of heauens immortall keyes And triple-headed Cerberus obeyes His triple Crowne and who so e're he please He sends to Hell for payne or Heauen for ease He can command the Angels and the Fiends What pleases them for him or for his friends Like as a Dog doth feare a stiâ—ch of Bacon So his great name Heauen Earth Hell hath shaken Epigram 18. VVHo dares affirme the Popes of Rome are Proud Amongst the Heretickes himselfe must shroud Or who dares say they 'r giuen to Auarice In selling Heauen and Hell for summes of price Or who dares speake such words of treachery To say the Pope is giuen to n Seauen goodly vertues naturally ingrasted in his hellish Holinesse Letchery Or who is he dares be so impious To say his Holinesse is Enuious Or who for seare of euerlasting scath Dares once accuse his Holinesse of Wrath. Or who is he that dares once verifie The Pope doth vse excessiue Glâ—ttony Or who dares say that like a drone or moath Like an vnpreaching Priest he liues by Elâ—â—th He that against him this dares justifie Is a plaine Protestant and such am I. Epigram 19. MAy it be call'd intollerable Pride For man to sit in the o His holinesse neuer learned this of Christ nor yet of Peter Almighties seate Or on mens shoulders pompously to ride To terrifie the world with thundering threat To weare a threeâ— pilde Crowne vpon his head To haue both Kings and Princes at his becke Whose Horse by mighty Potentaâ—es is led Who proudly â—ootes vpon the Emperours necke If trickes like these â—oâ— pride may be allow'd Then I conclude the Pope must needs be proud Epigram 20. IF it be couetous for gripple gaine To sellâ— the Heauens the Earth yea God himselfe To dispossesse Kings from their lawfull raigne To cramme his coâ—fers with vnlawfull pelâ—e To pardon sinnes for p If you wil know the price of sinne any ordinary Priest can tell you as well as Tom Tapster can tell a penny is the price of a pot of Ale money more then pitty Nay more to pardon sinnes that are to come To maintaine Whores and Stewes in Towne and City Who yerely payes the Popâ— a countlesse sum Who takes great interest puts great summes to vse 'T is Couetousuesse I thinke without excuse Epigram 21. IS it not bruitish sensuall q Why may not his Holinesse haue as much priuiledge as a Beast for a beast may lawfully â—ngender with his owne kindred and the Pope is called a Beast in many places of the Bible appetite The Sire to make a strumpet of his child Or is not Letcherie an Epethire For him that hath his Fathers bed defilde For him that hath desâ— our'd Virginitie That hath defilde the Damozell and the Damme Without respect of Consanguinitie That like a wolfe hath spovld both Ewe and Lambe This may be rearm'd incestuons Luxury And yet his Holinesse not wrong'd thereby Epigram 22. HE like a God that gouernes in the world That Euâ—â—es â—â—ch mans honour but his owne He â—â—â—â—â—â—â—â— through the earth hath hurld Whoâ—â— Eâ—uie hath great Kingdomes ouer-throwne He that vngraâ—â—s his â—â—â— that 's oâ—â—ce intomb'd For Enuâ—â— that
a long Garden within the Wals some of the Townes-men were shooting for wagers at a marke with their muskets some bowling some at slide thrift or shouel-boord some dancing before a blind Fidler and his cow-bellied dropsie dutty Drab some at one game some at another most of them drinking and all of them drinke that though it was a Sabboth which should wholly be dedicated to God yet by the those of these bursten-gutted bibbers they made it an after-noone consecrated or more truely execrated to the seruice of hell and to the great amplification of the Deuils kingdome When Christians dare Gods Sabboth to abuse They make themselues a scorne to Turkes Iewes T is stealing Barabasses beastly race Rib God of Glory and your selues of Grace Thinke on the supreame Iudge who all things tryes When Iewes against you shall in Iudgement rise Their feigned truth with feruent zeale they show The truth vnfeign'd you know yet will not know Then at the Barre in new Ierusalem It shall be harder much for you then them But leauing them to their drunken designes I return'd toward my Lodging where by the way I saw at the common Iayle oâ— the Towne a great number of people were clustred together I asked the cause of their concourse and I was certified that there was a Pâ—iâ—oner to be broken vpon the wheele the next day and that these idle Gazers did prease to gape vpon him or want of better imployments I being as inquisiâ—iue after nouelties as a Trauailer of my â—â—all experience might be enquired earnâ—stâ—y the true cause of the next dayes execution my friend told me that the Prisoner was a poore Carpenter dwelling â—â— the Towne who lately hauing stolne a Goose and plucking it within his doores a little Girle his daughter in Law went out of his house and left the doore open by which meanes the owner of the Goose passing by espyed the wretched Theese very diligently picking what hee before had beene stealing to whom the owner said Neighbour I now perceiue which way my Geese vse to goe but I will haue you in question for them and so away hee went the Caitiffe beeing thus reprooued grew desperate and his child comming into his house ye yong whore quoth he must ye leaue my doore open for folkes to looke in vpon me and with that word he tooke a Hatchet and with a cursed stroake he cloue the childes head for the which murther he was condemned and iudged to be broken aliue vpon the wheele Close by the Iayle I espyed a house of free stone round and flat roofed and leaded vpon the which was erected the true picture of a most vnmatchable Hang-man and now I am entered into a discourse of this braue abiect or subiect you must vnderstand that this fellow is a merry a mad and a subsidie Hangman to whoÌ„ our Tyburnâ— Tatterdemalian or our Wapping winde-pipe stretcher is but a Raggamuffin not worth the hanging for this teare-throat Termagant is a fellow in Folio a Commander of such great command and of such greatnesse to command that I neuer saw any that in that respect could countermand him for his making is almost past description no Saracens head seemes greater and sure I thinke his brainepan if it were emptied as I thinke he hath not much braine in it would well containe halfe a bushell of mault his shaggie haire and beard would stuffe a Cushion for Charons boate his Imbost nose and embroydered face would furnish a Ieweller his eyes well dryed would make good Tennis-balls or shot for a small peece of Ordinance his yawning mouth would serue for a Conniborrow and his two ragged rowes of teeth for a stone wall or a Pale then hath he a necke like one of Hercules his pillars with a winde-pipe or rather a beere pipe as bigge as the boare of a Demiculuering or a wooden pumpe through which conduit halfe a brewing of Hamburgh beere doth runne downe into his vnmeasurable paunch wherein is more midrisfe guts and garbage then three tripe-wiues could be able to vtter before it stunke His postâ—like legges were answerable to the rest of the great frame which they supported and to conclude sir Beuis Ascapart Gogmagag or ou English sir Iohn Falstaff were but shumps to this bezzeling Bombards longitude Iatitude altitude and crassiâ—ude for he passes and surpasses the whole Germane multitude And as hee is great in corpulencie so is hee powerfull in potencie for figuratiuely hee hath spirituall resemblance of Romish authority and in some sort he is a kind of demy-Pope for once a yeere in the dogge-dayes he sends out his men with bates in stead of Buls with full power from his greatnesse to knocke downe all the cus without contradiction whose masters or owners will not be at the charge to buy a pardon for them of his mightinesse which pardon is more dureable then the Popes of waxe or parchment for his is made of a piece of the hide of an Oxe a Horse or such lasting stuffe which with his stigmaticall stamp or seale is hanged about euery dogs necke who is freed from his furie by the purchase of his pardon And sure I am perswaded that these dogges are more sure of their liues with the hangmans pardon then the poore besotted blinded Papists are of their seduced soules from any pardon of the Popes The priuiledges of this graund haulter-master are many as hee hath the emptying of all the vaults or draughts in the city which no doubt hee gaines some fauour by Besides all Oxen Kine Horses Hogs Dogs or any such beasts it they die themselues or if they bee not like to liue the hang-man must knocke them on the heades and haue their skins and whatsoeuer inhabitant in his iurisdiction doth any of these things aforesaid himselfe is abhorred and accounted as a villaine without redemption So that with hangings headings breakings pardoning and killing of dogges flaying of beasts emptying vaults and such priuie commodities his whole reuenue sometimes amounts to 4. or 5. hundred pounds a yeere And hee is held in that regard and estimation that any man will conuerse and drinke with him nay sometimes the Lords of the Towne will feast with him and it is accounted no impeachment to their honours for he is held in the ranke of a Gentleman or a ranke Gentleman and hee scornes to be clad in the cast weedes of executed offenders No he goes to the Meroers and hath his Sattin his Veluet or what stuffe he pleases measured out by the yard or the ell with his gould and siluer lace his silke stockings laced spangled garters and roses hat and feather with foure or fiue braue villaines attending him in Liuery cloakes who haue stipendary meanes from his ignominious bounty Munday the 19. of August about the houre of 12. at noone the people of the towne in great multitudes flocked to the place of execution which is halfe a mile English without the gates built more like a sconce then a Gallowes
not be blinde may plainely spy That their insulting proud commanding Priest Is â—bsolute and onely Antichrist H'exalts himselfe ' boue all that 's called God Vpon the Emperours necke he proudly trod Hee is th'abomination void of grace That mounts himselfe into the holy place He makes the Princes of the Earth drinke vp And quaffe the poyson of his cursed Cup. Who being drunken with the drâ—gs of sinne They haue his sworne and forsworne vassals beene Bewitched with his foule Inchanting charmes Gainst one another they haue rose in armes By forreine and domesticke bloudie broyles Whilst he hath fild his his coffers with their spoyles His double dealing too plaine appeares In setting Christian Princes by the eares Whilst he into his anatitious hands Hath feiz'd their persons moueables and lands And as the Christian Kings themselues made weake The Turke into their Kingdomes gan to breake And thus the Turke and Pope joynd with the deuill Haue beene the authors of all Christian euill FINIS THE BOOKE OF MARTYRS The Second Part. DEDICATED TO THE RIGHT HONOVRABLE PHILLIP EARLE OF MONTGOMERIE c. MY Lord the liues and deaths of Saints and Kings This little Booke vnto your Greatnesse sings Protection and acceptance if you giue It shall as shall Your selfe for ever liue IOHN TAYLOR VVHen the 7 Henry in his graue was laid And the eight Henry Englands Scepter sway'd Romes bloudy persecution raged more In England than in ten Kings raignes before And therefore Reader in this little Booke For euery Martyrs name thou must not looke But men of chiefest note respect and same That dyed in England onely these I name And first the Papists tyranny beganne In murthering Richard Hun a zealous man For being kept in prison by their power They closly hang'd him in the Lollards Tower And then they all in generall decreed Reporting Hun himselfe had done the deed Ann sixteene dayes iust after this was don They burn'd the foresaid corps of Richard Hun. Then to the number of full thirty fiue The surious flames did all of life depriue In seuerall places of this wofull land Because they did the Pope of Rome withstand At which time Thomas Bilney did begin To preach and teach against Antichristian sinne Where in Saint Georges Church in Ipswich Towne The Papists from the Pulpit pluckt him downe And as in dolefull prison he did lie He put his finger in the flames to try He prou'd aud God did giue him strenght to beare His death to liue with his Redeemer deare The next of note was one Iohn Frith a man Of learning great a Martyrs same he wan Then learned Luther and graue Zwinglius With Caluin Beza Occolampadius All glorious gracious reuerend lamps of light Were instruments to cleare blear'd Englands sight In Flanders William Tindall for Gods Word Was Sacrific'd to glorifie the Lord. Iohn Lambert valiantly his death did take And burn'd in Smithfield for his Sauiour sake About this time that Honourable man Lord Cromwels life and timelesse death began Hee like an Earthquake made the Abbies fall The Fryeries the Nunneries and all This famous Noble worthy Essex Earle This Iemme this Iewell this most orient pearle Was for his truth from all he had discarded And with his heads losse all his faith rewarded The next of worthy note by fire that dide Was good Anne Askew who did strong abide Rackes tortures and the cruell raging flame To magnifie her high Creators name Then gan the Kings eyes to be opended quite Inlightened by the euerlasting light He banisht Superstitious idle sables And packt the Papists hence with all their bables Then Bonner Gardner Brethren both in euill Factors and Actors bloudhounds for the Deuill Their burning fame to infamy soone saded They Godlesse gracelesse were disgracst degraded The King thus hauing this good worke begun He dyed and left the Kingdome to his Sonne Then raign'd young Edward that sweet Princely childe By whom all Popery was cleane exilde But he too good to liue mongst wicked men Th' Almighty tooke him hence to Heauen agen No sooner Edward was laid in his Tombe But England was the slaughter-house of Rome Gardner and Bonner were from prison turn'd And whom they pleas'd were eyther sau'd or burn'd Queene Mary imitating Iezabell Aduanc'd againe the Ministers of Hell Then tyranny began to tyrannize Tortures and torments then they did deuise Then Master Rogers with a saith most feruent Was burn'd and dy'd in Smith field Gods true Seruant Next vnto him did Laurence Sanders dye By fire for Iesus sake at Couentry He did embrace and kindly kisse the stake To gaine Heau'ns glory did the world for sake Good Byshop Hooper was at Gloster burn'd Cause he against the Romish Doctrine spurn'd And Doctor Taylor a true zealous man At Hadly burn'd eternall glory wan Then Byshop Ferrar next his life did spend In fire to gaine the life shall neuer end Next William Fowler first did loose his hand Then burn'd because the Pope he did withstand In Essex Thomas Hawkes with faith victorious Did dye by fire to gaine a life most glorious Master Ioha Bradford for his Sauiours sake In Smithsield burn'd a godly end did make Two reuerend Byshops Father Latimer And Ridley each of them a heauenly starre Liu'd in Gods foare and in his fauour dy'd At Oxford burn'd and now are glorisi'd Iohâ— Philpâ—t gladly did the fire embrace And died and liues in his Redeemers grace Then that graue Father and religious man Arch-Bishop of Cranmars troubles hot began His Pompe his state his glory and his pride Was to know Iesus and him crucifide He liu'd a godly Preacher of Gods Word And dy'd a glorious Martyr of the Lord. Iohn Carcles in close Prison carefully Did change his cares for ioyes eternally But this small volum cannot well containe One quarter of the Saints in England flaine In Henries Raigne and Maries cruell Queene Eight thousand people there hath slaughtered beene Some by the Sword some Hang'd some burnt in fire Some staru'd to death in Prison all expire Twelue thousand and seuen hundred more beside Much perseâ—uting trouble did abide Some wrackt som whipt som tortur'd som in stocks Some doing penance with a world of mockes Some with an yron in the faces burn'd Some out of all their goods to beggry rurn'd Some barefoot bearing faggots on their shoulders Weâ—e made a wondring stocke to the beholders All this and more much more they did endure Because they would not yeeld to liue impure But now to speake the law lesse â—ause wherefore And why these people troubled were so sore Because they would not make their plaints mones To senseles I mages dead stockes and slones Because they said the Sacramentall bread Is not the Lord which shall iudge quick and dead Because they not beleeu'd a Purgatory And held the Popes decrees an idle story Because they would not creepe vnto the crosse And change Gods sacred Word for humane drosse Because they held the Masse an Idoll soule At once which