it Which they like a false perspectiue would seeke To multiply upon us Val. I shall never Recall that faith which I haue plighted once To my Aurelio I le runne all hazards And violent attempts to throw my selfe Into his armes Aemi. I would not haue you leaue him Nor yet turne desperate Now would I rather Get him by some devise I loue a witty And an ingenuous tricke aboue my life And should take more delight to over-reach them Then to enjoy my purpose Val. But I dare not Play with my fortune so nor trust adventures If Fate would be so gratious to present An opportunity Aemi. Come feare it not You see what a man they would put upon me Might be my father H' has lesse vigour in him Then any Catamite There 's not reseru'd So much as one masculine graine in him A fellow that 's as bald as a Lookinglasse And whose diseases are beyond Arithmeticke Not a joynt of him free a gowty numnesse Has seiz'd his feete and fingers and there 's all The stiffenesse he has left and were I married I must spend all my life in rubbing of him With hot wollen cloaths and applying Plaisters And Cataplasmes and trenchers to his belly Must undergoe the person of a Chirurgion Not of a wife and yet I am not terrified It moues me not I make a jeast of it Because I meane t' abuse them all and chuse Where I like best Val. It is a happy spirit That rules in you I would I had one like it Aemi. Like me thou hast not studied thy selfe so well Nor hast that season of thy mother in thee Obserue her fashions take example by them Although her husband be penurious Hard as the mettle that he dotes upon Yet she can make him malleable and worke him And turne and hammer him and wire-draw him And rule him with as much correction As one would wish to governe For my part When I haue stretcht my braines made all the shifts The wit of woman can be pregnant of And shew'd my loue by such experience As shall outstrip beliefe all for his sake That shall enioy me which is Master Carelesse And when he has me if hee shall presume On former passages of my affection To oversway me in the least desire To contradict and tempt my patience I le shake off all obedience and forget it I le slight him yet prevaile Val. Alasse my heart is Tender and violable with the least weapons Sorrow can dart at me Aemi. You are a foole And every one that will can make you so When was your sweet heart Master Spruse here with you Val. But lately and presented such a Scene Of protestations and then varied it So cunningly that loue and lust together Were interwoven with such subtle threads That I could scarce distinguish them Aemi. Take heed What ere he speakes it tends but to corrupt you I 'de ioyne commerce of language with a Sphinx Ere I 'de daigne to answer him Master Carelesse Told me his humours seemes he boasted of it He gaue his character the most perfideous And loue abusing creature in the world That all his vowes were treacherous his smiles His words and actions like small Rivulets Through twenty turnings of loose passions At last would runne to the dead sea of sinne Val. What ere he sayes I resolue nere to trust him Aemi. Bee wise and constant and then governe fate And in the interim how ere matters fall Wee I find a tricke wench how to cheat them all Actus III Scena II. Valeria Aemilia Spruse Val. See here he comes againe Spr. I come sweet Lady To reare the trophies of your conquest up And yield my selfe the greatest Val. What 's the matter Spr. Your lookes haue tane me prisoner I am captiu'd Bound with the golden chaine of your loose haire And on your frownes depends my destiny Val. T is about the old matter you may saue This labour or goe seeke some new devise In faith these stale exordiums can not take me Val. Indeed my sister and I know you well enough Spr. But Lady since my change you doe not know me I am now Metamorphis'd and that fancy That roved and was rebellious by her power Is brought within command Val. I so you told me Spr. Here I present a sad oblation A heart that bringeth its owne fire with it And burnes before your beanties diety Offer'd vp with as much deuotion As ever true loue sacrifised any Val. Well you may jest with mortalls but I am not So blind but I can see through all your mists Were I a goddesse as you terme mee one Sister to Phoebus or armd like Minirva I would transforme you straight and fix you vp A monument for your Hypocrisy Spr. Now by that sacred shrine brighter then Venus To whom I pay my Orizons that forme That faire Idea that rules all my thoughts Thy selfe I meane that spotlesse seat of pleasure The continent of all perfection This spring of loue that issues from my soule Runnes in a streame as pure as are your vertues Full fraught with zeale immaculate and free From all adulterate mixtures Val. On my life I cannot frame mee to beleeue one word Aemi. Hold thy owne there wench and I warrant thee Spr. Phoebus how haue I anger'd thee to lay Cassandra's curse on mee that was not trusted When shee spake true and most prophetically Aemi. Sir he that is accustom'd to deceiue Gaines this reward by it when he speakes truth Not to be credited Spr. Observe mee Lady And marke the harmony does it not sound Vpon the string as if my heart kept touch Val. And so it sounded first to the same tune Spr. That was ill sett this is a different passion Val. But 't is all shew and nothing serious Spr. You can not judge by former evidence It is not fitt proofe to confirme this motion This is a true text that a false glosse of it Val. But I shall never so interpret it Spr. What can I say more then to sware I loue you Val. But should you now dissolve your eyes to teares Were every accent in your speach a sigh And every gesture every motion in you An Hierogliphicke to comend that loue Had you the spells of it and magicke charmes Set round about the circle of your armes To draw mee to you I would seale my eares Deafe as the sea to shiprack't marriners And so I leave you to your better fortunes Exunt Valeria Aemilia Valeria looses her ring in a paper Spr. Am I despis'd and slighted foolish girle Th' hast lost thy selfe that which is best in nature Turnes to the worst corruption my scorn'd loue Shall now convert to hatred T is decreed Fraud and revenge shall be my counsellors What 's heere a ring shee lost it now I know it The same Aurelio wont to weare on 's finger He sent it as a gift 't is so the poesy In loue I write All my griefe all my delight The very same Were I best
will confront his aspect Car. Good Captaine be appeas'd it is my Vncle I can not avoyd him let me entreat your absence for a while meet me at the Horse-shooe Cap. Fire of my blood you shall rule me come Lieutenant Exeunt Cap. Lieu Actus I. Scena VII. Dotario Carelesse Fido Dot. Shall I speake or hold my peace Car E'ne which you please good Vncle Dot. I t is all one to you for any impression I shall make would I could refraine to take notice of thee but still nature over swayes me and affection breaks out into counsell but to no purpose Car. Troth vncle youth will haue his swing Dot. I upon a Gallowes if you hold on that will bee the end of you That I should liue to see my brothers goods so mispent the life of his labours suckt out by such Horseleaches Car. Horseleaches doe you know what you say no you doe not apprehend the worth that dwels in these men to see how a man may be mistaken in the distinction of vertue Fid. Nay sir t is as I told you you may as soone recall an arrow when t is flying or a stone from praecipice as reclaime him Car. Oh vncle that you should thus carpe at my happines and traduce my Camradoes men of such spirit and valour Dot. Yes Captaine and Lieutenant how a vengeance came they by these titles fellowes that haue beene onely flesht in the ruine of blacke pots and glasse windowes the very skum of all rudenesse Car. Haue you any money about you Dot. What to doe Car. Bribe me to keepe counsell you are but a dead man if they know on 't you haue puft out your soule in their calumnies Fid. Hang them fellowes so sordid that no disgrace can sticke upon them they are choyse company for there 's hardly the like of them A man cannot discerne the ground of their discourse for oaths unlesse you were divorc'd from all reason you would not be wedded to such acquaintance Car. Why how now mungrell are you barking by this ayre t is an indignity to my discretion that is so happy in the election of their vertues the onely prime wits in towne things come so rarely from them a man is kept in a perpetuall appetite I would not let them stay to offend you neither can I endure their reproach Farewell vncle Exit Carelesse Dot. Well I will not trouble my selfe any more to looke after him I le marry and thrust him out of all that 's the conclusion Desinit Actus primus ACTVS II. SCENA I. Spruse Littlegood Valeria Spr. But are you certaine of it Lit. I oreheard it When she did plot her owne destruction And seald it with her hand and kist upon 't You know Aurelio Spr. Yes sir was it he Lit. That Begger that undone thing Spr. Let me alone To fetch her off the quick-sands and then I le board her And steere her my selfe Lit. That I were so happy To know she lou'd you Huswife doe you heare Here is a Gentleman has Land and meanes And wit and beauty more I wis then tother Make much of him and what he sayes be rul'd by him Spr. Let me alone I warrant you Lit. I leaue you Exit Littlegood Spr. Now all the powers of loue assist me in it To counterfeit a Passion and Dissemble All my delight 's to foole them and then leaue them I serue your women as the Hollanders Doe by some townes they get when they haue wonne them They slight them straight Now I addresse my selfe Lady how fare you you are melancholy Val. If you doe know 't so well why doe you aske me Spr. T is from the tender care I haue of you But an ill fate pursues my true endeavours To haue them still misconstrued T is not well done To lay the burthen of your cruelty On my affection and to make that faith The passiue subject of your dire disdaine That is so actiue in obedience Val. Pray let me counsell you Spr. Counsell what 's that Not Phoebus with his art or all the drugs Of Thessaly can ease my griefe the Sea Knowes no such straight as I now labour in Val. Why what 's the matter Spr. Oh my heart my heart Would you would rip it up that you might see Your selfe enthron'd and all my faculties Paying their homage to your memory I thinke I doe it indifferently Val. All this and more Lovers can speake at pleasure Spr. Propose a course how I might winne beliefe Were there a way to it as deepe with danger As to the Center I will search it out When I haue nothing else to doe Val. Your thoughts haue found such easie utterance That I suspect their truth they seeme to savour Of art more then of passion I haue heard Great griefes are silent neither doe I find Those Symptomes of affection in your lookes You change no colour and your ioynts are stedy Your eyes appeare too full of petulancie As if they did reflect with inward scorne T' upbrayd your falshood Spr. Now by all my hopes By all the rites that crowne a happy vnion And by the rosie tincture of your cheeks And by your all subduing eyes more bright Then heaven Val. Hold there Spr. I prize you 'boue the world What should I say when vowes cannot prevaile If you persist and still so cruell be I le sweare there 's no plague like loues tyrannie And all this while I doe not care a pin for her Aside Val. I haue engagd it to your friend already Spr. But loue makes no distinction Val. If you say so I must debarre my heart the knowledge of you Spr. This will not doe I must be more lascivious Come my faire Venus sit by thy Adonis What doe you start are you afraid of loue That is all faire and from whose brightest heaven Are blowne away all swolne clouds of despaire His brow is smooth and all his face beset With bankes full of delight a golden Chaine Of wanton smiles hangs round about his neck And all his way before him strew'd with roses Come let us sit and dally tast those pleasures Loue is no niggard we may eate and surfet And yet our dainties still remaine as fresh As they were never toucht Val. I st come to that I thought whither you tended I am unskilfull Vntaught in those deepe but ill mysteries Spr. I le teach you all and lead your wandring steps Through all those wayes where to find the way Will be to loose it Val. I am very sorry The times disease has so prevail'd upon you T is the perfection now of complement The onely end to corrupt honesty To prostitute your oathes and winne our hearts To your beliefe is the Court eloquence Spr. These are harsh tunes and ill become your beauty Whose proper passion should be wantonnesse Why should you loose the benefit of youth And the delights giue freedome to your will When age and weakenesse mortifies your thoughts You may correct this loosenesse Val.
Fricatrice Insatiable and has she none but you That she can find to bayt with her allurements To cover her lewd projects This moved me I 'd not have medled else Aur. O doe not wrong her Good sir doe not wrong her it cannot be Spr. You have bin still kept ignorant for my part I never yet expected better from them I count them but as ordinary chances Triviall and drawne out from the lap of Fortune Beleeve me sir there is no day so holy That ceases to betray a womans falsehood My medicine workes I shall be even with her Aur. I sought at first to make her mad in jest But now I le make her mad in earnest yet T is not good to be too credulous a word sir I must have better proofes then your bare word To justify this accusation Her vertue must not stumble at a straw Spr. Sir t is not threats that can extort from me More then I list to speake I see you troubled And therefore will not leaue you in suspense Know that I made my selfe experiment He shewes the Ring For all let this confirme you this she gaue me Vpon the premises Aur. O I shall burst Here is a sight to make the Sun run backeward Good sir forgiue me that I prest you so Consider 't as your owne case were you hee That put your confidence your happinesse All in a womans loue and found her false Spr. I must confesse I thinke it would afflict me I le leaue you sir I haue discharg'd my conscience But of more ill then she has goodnesse in her Exit Spruse Actus IIII Scena III Fido Aurelio Fid. How now what Planet strucke how doe you sir This t is to be in loue what alterations It breeds it makes a man forget his friends Come sir be merry your project has tooke She fell into her fit soone as she read it And tore the papers and talkt idly and shew'd The symptomes of the prettiest lunacie What haue you lost your speech those folded armes And frownes expresse a sorrow more then loue His eyes though fixt upon their object shew The wandring spheare of his disturbed mind Is whirld about in error Pray looke up sir Aur. I am not dumbe I haue a care within me Speakes to my troubled soule Fid. Why what 's the matter Aur. O heare it then and witnesse it for ever When ere thou seest a woman in whose brow Are writ the characters of honesty And cals the gods to iustifie her truth Sweare shee 's a Syren and a Crocodile Conclude her false it is enough shee vowes And speakes thee faire the winds waite on her lips Straight to disperse her oaths Fid. You doe but jest sure Aur. There is not one of them that is the same She would appeare to be they all are painted They haue a Fucus for their face an other For their behaviour their words and actions Fid. Come come these are but qualmes of jealousie Aur. Giue no faith to their brow for in that greene And flourishing field of seeming vertue lurkes A Snake of lust in whose voluminous wreaths Are folded up a thousand treacheries Plots Mischiefes and dissimulations That man nere thought of For in wickednesse The wit of woman was nere yet found barren Fid. I thinke he meanes to be mad himselfe too Your reprehensions are too generall For by these words your owne Valeria suffers Aur. Why there 's the summe of all that I haue spoke The abstract of all falshood T is a name will Blister the tongue of fame in her report Is drown'd the memory of all wicked women Fid. Is your Valeria false Aur. Once my Valeria but now mine no more For they are perisht that haue lost their shame Is falne from vertue past recovery The golden Organs of her innocence Are broke not to be solderd Fid. In my conscience You wrong her this is nothing but th' abundance Of loue will you goe and sup with the Captaine And driue away melancholy Aur. O no my heart Is shut against all mirth Fid. Then I le goe seeke Your brother out and he shall goe along with me I le shew him with a perspectiue ifaith What a braue Captaine he has hee shall be In a disguise as my Companion Then if he will maintaine a Paradox That he is either valiant or honest I le be made the scorne of their company Aur. But my fate guids me to the contrary For if my Mistresse doe not honest proue She has put a period to my life and loue Actus IIII Scena IIII Lackwit Crotchet Crot. Come be not dismaid what ere you say I le sweare it you must affirme you lost your hat And cloake in a skirmish Lack. So I will Crotchet Masse thou wert not with us at the first neither Crot. Why what if I had sir Lack. Thou mightst haue carried Away two or three of the Captaines oaths with thee Crot. I can coyne them my selfe without any treason I warrant you Lack. Oh Crotchet I am thinking now how brauely I le liue when my father is dead Crot. Yes pray let me heare you Lac. I haue drawne the map of it already I le goe every day in my cloake lind with plush and my bever hat I le keepe my whores and my running horses and I le maintaine thee in as good a pyed livery as the best footman of them all goes in Enter Littlegood Lit. You will sir what ungratious villaine could haue said this where 's your cloake and your hat yes you shall haue money to spend an other time Enter Fondling Fond. How now what 's the matter Lit. Looke you doe you know this Gentleman Fond. How comes this about Crot. Nothing but the fortune of the warres forsooth my young master has beene in as stout a fray as ever the Genius of Fleetstreet trembled at Fond. How was it sonne Lack. Let Crochet relate I scorne to be the trumpet of mine owne valour I Fond. Doe tell the story Crochet Cro. Indeede hee made them all runne away that I am certaine of Fond. Nay but shew vs the manner of it Cro. Why forsooth I came at the latter end of the feast and the beginning of the fray and there my young Master was got aboue them all and stood vpon his Guard and held his weapon in his hand so dreadfully as it he would haue powred downe his fury vpon any man that should come neere him Fond. And will you be angry with him for this 't was well done take no wrong of them better loose all the cloathes off from his backe then to keepe a cloake for his cowardise Cro. Now is the time to moue the other businesse Lack. Well mother if you will giue mee twenty pound more I le doe you such a peece of service that you shall thanke mee for it as long as you live Fond. What is it sonne Lack. Nay you shall not know before it be done the conclusion shall crowne it Fond. Well husband giue it this once
am considering with my eye which part of him I shall first cut off Cro. Let 's bind him fast and then lay him upon his backe and geld him Lack. A match Let 's lay hold on him what is he gone how finely might my father have been cheated and all wee now if I had not beene that 's some roguing Servingman disguis'd I le lay my life on 't if I be not fit to be chronicled for this act of discretion let the world judge of it Well Crochet when I have marryed her to the right party if my father does not give me forty pounds more he shall marry the next daughter himselfe Cro. You must not be too sudden now in the opening of your plot after you have marryed them Lac. Advise me good Crochet Cro. Why before you reveale your proceedings you shall present your selfe with a great deale of confidence and promise of desert walke up and downe with a joyfull agony and a trembling joy as if you had escapt from a breach or redeem'd your country then when you see them sufficiently fill'd with expectation you may draw the curtaine of your valour and stound them with admiration Lack. So I will Crochet come let us to the Church Exeunt Actus V. Scena II. Littlegood Spruse Fondling Fido Spr. Come Master Littlegood be comforted I have as great a share in the missortunes Of your distracted daughter as your selfe Lit. O doe not say so she was all my joy Fido. Then men begin to understand their good When they have lost it and an envious eye Seekes after vertue when it is extinct That hated it alive Lit. You have reason To pitty me the more and lament for her Because I destin'd her in marriage to you Spr. And I had well hoped to have been made happy In her affection a true Lovers griefes Transcend a parents Lit. No you are deceived A parent is confin'd and his joyes bounded And only limited to such a subject And driven from thence have no where else to rest on For if his children be once taken from him Which are the cause then his delight and comfort That are the effects needs must vanish with them But in a Lover it falls otherwise Such as your selfe whose passion like a deaw Can dry up with the beames of every beauty That shall shine warme upon you need not prize The losse of any you have no alliance Nor naturall tye commands you to love any More then your fancy guides you and the windes Have not so many turnings nor the Sands So many shiftings nor the Moone changes Fido. Sir you speake truth upon my knowledge that He is as slippery as an Eele in love And wriggles in and out sir at his pleasure He can as easily dispense with vowes As sweare them and can at a minutes warning If an occasion serve supply himselfe With a continuall and fresh entertainment Of a new Mistris Spr. Troth I must confesse I have been a little faulty that way Fon. And why would you sir knowing this before Suffer your daughter to be abus'd by him Now by my life I thinke and 't were not for me You 'd wind your selfe into such Labyrinths You 'd not know how to extricate your selfe Lit. Peace good Wife since there is no remedy Spr. Doe not despaire there is yet remedy I know a scholler a great Naturallist Whose wisedome does transcend all other Artists A traveller besides and though his body Be distant from the Heavens yet his mind Has pierc't unto the utmost of the Orbes Can tell how first the Chaos was distinguisht And how the Sphaeres are turnd and all their secrets The motion and influence of the starres The mixture of the Elements and all The causes of the Winds and what moves the earth And then he has subjected to his knowledge The vertues and the workings of all hearbs And is an Aesculapius in Physicke No griefe above his art Lit. Can he heale mad folkes Spr. Were they as mad as Ajax Telamon That slew an Oxe in stead of Agamemnon Hee 'l warrant them Fond. How should one speake with him Spr. I brought him with me he is at the doore Prithee goe call him Fido you shall heare him And as you like his speech so credite him Enter Aurelio like a Doctour Lit. Is this the man Spr. This is the Doctour sir I am bold to make relation of your skill here To this old Gentleman who has a daughter That is suspected to be mad Aur. Suspected is she no otherwise Lit. She is starke mad Aur. It came by love Lit. Yes sure what thinke you on 't Au. An ordinary disease and cure in some things I am of an opinion that Stertinius The Stoick was who held all the world mad Fond. As how good Master Doctour Aur. Thus I prove it What is ambition and covetousnesse Or luxury or superstition But madnesse in men and these raigne generally Your Lawyer trots and writes as he were mad His Clyent is madder then he your Merchant that marryes A faire wife and leaves her at home is mad Your Courtier is mad to take up silkes and velvets On ticket for his Mistris and your Citizen Is mad to trust him Fido. Nay he is a rare man And has done many and strange Cures sir Aur. I have indeed Fond. Pray relate some of them Aur. To satisfy your Ladiship I will Fond. Yes good Sir let us heare them Aur. Then I le tell you There was once an Astrologer brought mad before me the circulations of the Heavens had turn'd his braines round he had very strange fits he would ever be staring and gazing and yet his eyes were so weake they could not looke up without a staffe Spr. A Iacobs staffe you meane Aur. I and hee would watch whole nights there could not a starre stirre for him he thought there was no hurt done but they did it and that made him look so narrowly to them Fond. How did you heale him sir Aur. Onely with two or three sentences out of Picus Mirandula in confutation of the act and as many out of Cornelius Agrippa for the vanity of it Fond. That was excellent Aur. The next was a Souldier and he was very furious but I quieted him by getting his arrerages payd and a Pension for his life Fond. You tooke a hard taske in hand Mr Doctour Aur. But the most dangerous of all was a Puritan Chandler and he ran mad with illuminations he was very strangely possest and talkt idly as if he had had a noyse of bells in his head he thought a man in a Surplesse to be the Ghost of Heresy and was out of love with his owne members because they were called Organs Fond. O monstrous Aur. I and held very strange positions for he counted Fathers to be as unlawfull in the Church as Plato did Poets in his Common-wealth and thereupon grounded his conclusion for the lawfulnesse of whoredome for he said that marriage as it is now used was