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alipius_n a_o visit_n occasional_o relate_v the_o story_n of_o s._n antony_n and_o how_o two_o of_o his_o fellow-courtier_n upon_o the_o read_n thereof_o in_o the_o same_o moment_n renounce_v the_o world_n though_o have_v engage_v to_o mistress_n and_o betake_v themselves_o to_o a_o solitary_a life_n and_o now_o i_o will_v declare_v and_o confess_v to_o thy_o name_n o_o lord_n my_o helper_n and_o my_o redeemer_n how_o thy_o goodness_n free_v i_o â–³_o from_o that_o bond_n of_o the_o desire_n of_o a_o woman_n which_o tie_v i_o very_o straight_o as_o likewise_o â–³_o from_o the_o hindrance_n and_o servitude_n of_o secular_a affair_n i_o perform_v my_o former_a wont_a employment_n with_o a_o continually-growing_a anxiety_n and_o sigh_v daily_o after_o thou_o i_o frequent_v thy_o church_n as_o often_o as_o there_o be_v any_o vacancy_n from_o those_o affair_n under_o the_o pressure_n of_o which_o i_o then_o live_v there_o be_v alipius_n with_o i_o now_o after_o the_o three_o session_n 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that_o he_o may_v so_o avoid_v all_o inquietude_n of_o mind_n which_o he_o desire_v to_o have_v free_a and_o as_o often_o as_o may_v be_v vacant_a for_o to_o meditate_v or_o read_v or_o hear_v something_o concern_v wisdom_n now_o on_o a_o certain_a day_n when_o nebridius_fw-la be_v absent_a i_o remember_v not_o on_o what_o occasion_n there_o come_v to_o our_o house_n to_o i_o and_o alipius_n one_o pontitianus_n our_o countryman_n a_o african_a who_o serve_v in_o honourable_a place_n in_o the_o emperor_n court_n i_o know_v not_o what_o his_o business_n be_v but_o we_o sit_v down_o to_o entertain_v some_o discourse_n and_o by_o chance_n cast_v his_o eye_n on_o a_o book_n that_o lie_v on_o a_o billyard-table_n which_o stand_v before_o we_o he_o take_v it_o up_o open_v it_o and_o find_v it_o to_o be_v the_o epistle_n of_o the_o apostle_n paul_n much_o contrary_n to_o his_o expectation_n for_o he_o imagine_v it_o some_o book_n belong_v to_o that_o profession_n which_o then_o spend_v most_o of_o my_o time_n but_o then_o smiling_z and_z after_o a_o glad_a and_o gratulatory_a manner_n look_v upon_o i_o he_o express_v his_o wonder_n that_o he_o thus_o find_v those_o and_o only_o those_o writing_n before_o i_o for_o a_o christian_n he_o be_v and_o a_o baptize_v professor_n of_o the_o faith_n and_o who_o often_o prostrate_v himself_o before_o thou_o our_o god_n in_o the_o church_n with_o frequent_a and_o long-continued_a prayer_n to_o who_o when_o i_o have_v reply_v that_o now_o my_o great_a study_n be_v of_o those_o writing_n he_o begin_v some_o speech_n of_o one_o antonius_n a_o egyptian_a monk_n who_o name_n be_v very_o famous_a among_o thy_o servant_n but_o to_o that_o hour_n unknown_a to_o we_o which_o he_o perceive_v stay_v long_o on_o that_o discourse_n inform_v and_o wonder_v at_o our_o ignorance_n concern_v so_o eminent_a a_o person_n and_o much_o be_v we_o astonish_v when_o we_o hear_v those_o so_o strongly-witnessed_n wonder_v of_o thou_o in_o the_o true_a faith_n and_o in_o the_o catholic_n church_n to_o be_v do_v so_o late_o and_o almost_o in_o our_o own_o day_n all_o of_o we_o wonder_v we_o that_o they_o be_v so_o great_a and_o he_o that_o they_o be_v so_o unknown_a to_o we_o thence_o he_o enlarge_v his_o discourse_n concern_v *_o the_o multitude_n of_o religious_a in_o monastery_n there_o *_o their_o holy_a custom_n and_o manner_n of_o their_o life_n of_o a_o sweet-smelling_a savour_n unto_o thou_o and_z *_o the_o fruitful_a breast_n of_o those_o barren_a desert_n of_o all_o which_o we_o have_v hear_v nothing_o and_o there_o be_v also_o a_o monastery_n at_o milan_n without_o the_o city-wall_n full_a of_o good_a friar_n under_o the_o maintenance_n and_o government_n of_o ambrose_n and_o we_o be_v ignorant_a of_o it_o also_o and_o he_o continue_v his_o discourse_n and_o we_o attentive_o silent_a further_o tell_v we_o that_o when_o the_o court_n be_v at_o trier_n one_o afternoon_n when_o the_o emperor_n be_v entertain_v with_o some_o public_a sport_n in_o the_o circus_n he_o and_o three_o other_o of_o his_o companion_n go_v a_o walk_n into_o some_o garden_n not_o far_o from_o the_o city-wall_n and_o there_o casual_o late-walking_a two_o and_o two_o together_o one_o with_o he_o go_v one_o way_n and_o the_o other_o two_o another_o and_o that_o those_o other_o as_o they_o wander_v up_o and_o down_o light_n upon_o a_o little_a house_n where_o dwell_v some_o servant_n of_o thou_o 5.3_o mat._n 5.3_o poor_a in_o spirit_n of_o who_o be_v the_o kingdom_n of_o heaven_n and_o that_o they_o find_v there_o a_o book_n in_o which_o be_v write_v the_o life_n of_o this_o antonius_n which_o life_n one_o of_o they_o begin_v to_o read_v and_o then_o to_o admire_v and_o then_o to_o be_v inflame_v and_o even_o whilst_o read_v it_o to_o meditate_v
which_o those_o writing_n so_o inflame_v i_o there_o be_v those_o that_o seduce_v through_o philosophy_n with_o this_o smooth_a and_o noble_a and_o virtuous_a name_n palliate_v and_o colour_n over_o their_o error_n and_o almost_o all_o who_o in_o those_o or_o in_o former_a time_n be_v such_o be_v in_o that_o book_n note_v and_o set_v down_o and_o there_o likewise_o be_v express_v that_o salvifical_a admonition_n of_o thy_o spirit_n by_o thy_o pious_a and_o devout_a servant_n 2.8_o col._n 2.8_o beware_v lest_o any_o man_n spoil_v you_o through_o philosophy_n and_o vain_a deceit_n after_o the_o tradition_n of_o man_n after_o the_o rudiment_n of_o the_o world_n and_o not_o after_o christ_n for_o in_o he_o dwell_v all_o the_o fullness_n of_o the_o godhead_n bodily_a and_o i_o for_o thou_o o_o light_n of_o my_o soul_n know_v that_o the_o apostolical_a advice_n be_v then_o unknown_a to_o i_o be_v much_o please_v with_o this_o in_o that_o exhortation_n of_o cicero_n that_o it_o excite_v and_o kindle_v and_o inflame_a i_o not_o to_o this_o or_o that_o sect_n but_o to_o the_o affect_v and_o pursuance_n and_o apprehend_v of_o wisdom_n itself_o whatever_o it_o be_v and_o in_o this_o great_a ardency_n of_o i_o this_o one_o thing_n only_o cool_v i_o that_o the_o name_n of_o christ_n be_v not_o there_o because_o this_o name_n according_a to_o thy_o mercy_n o_o lord_n this_o name_n of_o my_o saviour_n thy_o son_n my_o tender_a heart_n with_o my_o very_a mother_n milk_n have_v pious_o imbibe_v and_o deep_o apprehend_v and_o whatsoever_o want_v this_o name_n though_o never_o so_o learned_a polite_a or_o veritable_a yet_o do_v not_o whole_o sway_v i_o chap._n v._n not_o find_v our_o saviour_n in_o philosophy_n he_o turn_v to_o the_o scripture_n who_o humble_a stile_n in_o comparison_n of_o tullie_n give_v he_o distaste_n therefore_o now_o i_o design_v my_o study_n to_o the_o holy_a scripture_n to_o see_v what_o a_o writing_n it_o be_v and_o behold_v i_o find_v it_o not_o intelligible_a to_o the_o proud_a nor_o yet_o discover_v and_o naked_a to_o child_n but_o in_o its_o stile_n lowly_a lofty_a in_o its_o sense_n and_o veil_v with_o mystery_n nor_o be_v i_o such_o as_o can_v enter_v into_o it_o or_o stoop_v my_o neck_n unto_o its_o humble_a pace_n for_o not_o as_o i_o judge_v now_o so_o fancy_v i_o then_o when_o i_o first_o look_v upon_o that_o sacred_a book_n but_o to_o i_o altogether_o unworthy_a it_o seem_v to_o be_v once_o compare_v to_o tully_n lofty_a stile_n for_o my_o swell_a tumour_n abhor_v its_o sober_a temper_n and_o my_o sight_n pierce_v not_o the_o inside_n thereof_o yet_o such_o it_o be_v as_o will_v still_o have_v grow_v up_o high_a together_o with_o those_o who_o be_v little_a one_o as_o they_o shall_v grow_v high_a but_o such_o a_o little_a one_o i_o scorn_v to_o be_v and_o swell_v with_o pride_n i_o think_v i_o be_v some_o great_a one_o chap._n vi_o in_o quest_n of_o wisdom_n he_o fall_v into_o the_o society_n and_o error_n of_o the_o manichee_n absurd_a pernicious_a and_o even_o therefore_o i_o fall_v among_o the_o proud_o dote_v manichee_n dote_v the_o manichee_n and_o too_o too_o carnal_a and_o yet_o great_a talker_n in_o who_o mouth_n be_v lay_v the_o snare_n of_o satan_n and_o a_o catch_a birdlime_n compound_v of_o the_o commixture_n of_o the_o syllable_n of_o thy_o name_n and_o also_o of_o that_o of_o our_o lord_n jesus_n christ_n and_o of_o the_o comforter_n the_o holy_a spirit_n in_o their_o mouth_n be_v all_o these_o very_a rife_a but_o in_o the_o sound_n only_o and_o noise_n of_o the_o tongue_n with_o a_o heart_n void_a of_o truth_n and_o they_o speak_v of_o truth_n and_o truth_n and_o many_o they_o be_v that_o name_v it_o unto_o i_o and_o no_o where_o be_v it_o in_o they_o but_o false_a thing_n they_o speak_v not_o of_o thou_o only_o who_o be_v the_o true_a truth_n but_o also_o of_o those_o element_n of_o the_o world_n thy_o creature_n of_o which_o i_o find_v the_o philosopher_n speak_v truth_n yet_o those_o also_o i_o ought_v to_o have_v pass_v by_o for_o the_o transcend_v love_v of_o thou_o my_o father_n the_o high_a good_a and_o the_o beauty_n of_o all_o that_o be_v beauteous_a o_o truth_n truth_n how_o intimate_o then_o do_v the_o very_a marrow_n of_o my_o soul_n suspire_v towards_o thou_o when_o they_o noise_v thy_o name_n unto_o i_o often_o and_o various_o but_o in_o word_n only_o and_o in_o many_o and_o voluminous_a write_n story_n write_n note_v that_o all_o that_o which_o follow_v thus_o mark_v the_o reader_n if_o he_o please_v may_v omit_v as_o less_o pertinent_a to_o the_o story_n and_o those_o be_v their_o dish_n wherein_o to_o i_o hunger_a after_o thou_o be_v serve_v up_o instead_o of_o thou_o the_o sun_n and_o the_o moon_n splendid_a work_n of_o thou_o but_o thy_o work_n though_o and_o not_o thou_o nor_o those_o the_o prime_a of_o they_o for_o thy_o spiritual_a work_n precede_v those_o corporeal_a though_o glorious_a and_o celestial_a but_o neither_o be_v it_o those_o thy_o prime_a creature_n but_o thyself_o thou_o o_o truth_n 1.17_o truth_n jam._n 1.17_o in_o who_o be_v no_o change_n neither_o shadow_n of_o turn_v who_o i_o hunger_v and_o thirst_v after_o in_o stead_n of_o who_o those_o table_n present_v i_o yet_o with_o other_o glitter_a phantasm_n when_o far_o worthy_a have_v it_o be_v to_o have_v pitch_v my_o admiration_n upon_o the_o sun_n to_o my_o eye_n a_o real_a thing_n then_o on_o those_o other_o falsity_n wherein_o my_o mind_n through_o my_o eye_n be_v deceive_v and_o yet_o take_v they_o to_o be_v thou_o i_o feed_v upon_o they_o not_o so_o greedy_o indeed_o for_o what_o relish_n have_v these_o like_a unto_o thou_o with_o which_o i_o then_o be_v feed_v or_o empty_v rather_o meat_n in_o a_o dream_n though_o not_o feed_v we_o resemble_v that_o which_o we_o feed_v on_o wake_v but_o that_o food_n do_v not_o the_o least_o resemble_v thou_o as_o thy_o sweetness_n have_v now_o appear_v unto_o i_o for_o they_o be_v but_o corporeal_a phantasm_n the_o counterfeit_n of_o body_n more_o real_a than_o which_o be_v those_o true_a one_o which_o with_o our_o fleshly_a sight_n we_o contemplate_v whether_o heaven_n or_o earthly_a we_o together_o with_o the_o beast_n and_o foul_n gaze_v on_o these_o more_o real_a therefore_o they_o be_v than_o those_o we_o only_o imagine_v yet_o again_o more_o reasonable_o do_v we_o imagine_v those_o than_o conjecture_n and_o derive_v again_o from_o they_o yet_o more_o vast_a and_o infinit-nothings_a with_o which_o emptiness_n i_o be_v then_o feed_v or_o rather_o be_v not_o feed_v at_o all_o but_o thou_o o_o my_o love_n into_o who_o arm_n i_o faint_v that_o i_o may_v there_o gain_v strength_n be_v neither_o those_o body_n above_o which_o we_o see_v though_o from_o heaven_n thou_o come_v nor_o be_v thou_o those_o we_o there_o see_v not_o for_o all_o they_o have_v thou_o frame_v neither_o count_v thou_o they_o the_o chief_a of_o thy_o work_n how_o much_o more_o remote_a than_o be_v thou_o from_o be_v those_o my_o phantasm_n the_o fantasy_n of_o body_n which_o be_v not_o more_o real_a than_o which_o be_v the_o image_n of_o those_o body_n that_o be_v and_o yet_o the_o body_n themselves_o more_o certain_a than_o these_o which_o real_a body_n yet_o thou_o be_v not_o neither_o yet_o art_n thou_o the_o soul_n which_o be_v the_o life_n of_o these_o body_n and_o this_o life_n of_o body_n be_v better_a stable_a than_o the_o body_n but_o thou_o be_v the_o life_n of_o the_o soul_n the_o life_n of_o these_o life_n live_v always_o from_o thyself_o and_o never_o vary_v o_o thou_o life_n of_o my_o soul_n where_o be_v thou_o at_o that_o time_n and_o at_o how_o great_a a_o distance_n and_o i_o sojourn_v far_o from_o thou_o be_v deprive_v even_o of_o the_o husk_n of_o those_o swine_n who_o i_o then_o feed_v with_o husk_n for_o how_o much_o better_o be_v the_o fable_n of_o the_o grammarian_n and_o the_o poet_n than_o these_o cheat_n for_o make_v a_o verse_n and_o a_o sonnet_n and_o a_o medea_n fly_v in_o the_o air_n etc._n etc._n be_v more_o to_o purpose_n than_o five_o element_n colourable_o diversify_v to_o suit_v the_o five_o cave_n of_o darkness_n which_o be_v mere_a nothing_o in_o themselves_o yet_o mortal_a to_o those_o who_o believe_v they_o but_o my_o verse_n and_o my_o poetry_n i_o exercise_v on_o the_o element_n that_o true_o be_v so_o and_o for_o medea_n fly_v i_o neither_o believe_v it_o sing_v nor_o sing_v it_o to_o be_v believe_v but_o the_o other_o i_o believe_v alas_o alas_o by_o what_o stair_n be_v i_o convey_v into_o the_o depth_n of_o hell_n 9.18_o prov._n 9.18_o for_o toil_a and_o sweat_v in_o quest_n of_o still-wanted_n truth_n whilst_o i_o seek_v thou_o o_o my_o god_n for_o to_o thou_o
great_a mystery_n of_o the_o incarnation_n of_o thy_o son_n and_o by_o the_o ministry_n of_o thy_o preacher_n of_o it_o chap._n ii_o yet_o how_o may_v i_o call_v upon_o or_o invoke_v my_o god_n my_o god_n and_o my_o lord_n since_o to_o invoke_v he_o be_v to_o call_v he_o into_o i_o and_o what_o mansion_n within_o i_o where_o my_o god_n may_v reside_v god_n within_o i_o that_o make_v heaven_n and_o earth_n be_v there_o then_o o_o lord_n my_o god_n any_o room_n so_o spacious_a in_o i_o that_o can_v receive_v thou_o nay_o can_v the_o vast_a globe_n of_o heaven_n and_o earth_n thing_n that_o thou_o have_v make_v and_o i_o a_o small_a point_n within_o their_o womb_n can_v these_o in_o any_o wise_a receive_v thou_o or_o be_v it_o so_o that_o since_o nothing_o that_o be_v can_v be_v without_o thou_o therefore_o whatever_o be_v must_v needs_o receive_v thou_o since_o than_o i_o also_o be_o in_o be_v what_o need_v i_o entreat_v thy_o access_n into_o i_o who_o therefore_o be_o because_o thou_o be_v in_o i_o who_o be_o not_o yet_o a_o thing_n so_o low_a and_o remote_a as_o hell_n or_o the_o grave_a and_o yet_o thou_o be_v present_a there_o for_o if_o i_o go_v down_o into_o hell_n thou_o be_v there_o also_o 139.7_o psal_n 139.7_o therefore_o i_o shall_v not_o be_v o_o my_o god_n not_o be_v at_o all_o but_o only_o by_o thy_o be_v in_o i_o or_o rather_o i_o shall_v not_o be_v but_o by_o be_v in_o thou_o of_o who_o and_o by_o who_o and_o in_o who_o 11.36_o rom._n 11.36_o all_o thing_n be_v it_o be_v so_o lord_n even_o so_o whether_o then_o may_v i_o invoke_v thou_o see_v i_o be_o already_o in_o thou_o or_o from_o whence_o thou_o draw-near_a unto_o i_o for_o whither_o can_v i_o retire_v beyond_o the_o utmost_a limit_n of_o heaven_n and_o earth_n to_o invite_v from_o thence_o my_o god_n into_o i_o who_o have_v say_v i_o fill_v the_o heaven_n and_o the_o earth_n 23.24_o jer._n 23.24_o chap._n iii_o but_o do_v the_o heaven_n and_o earth_n thus_o fill_v by_o thou_o therefore_o contain_v thou_o or_o do_v thou_o replenish_v these_o and_o yet_o overflow_v because_o they_o can_v whole_o receive_v thou_o and_o where_o then_o do_v thou_o effund_v these_o vessel_n run_v over_o the_o remainder_n of_o thyself_o or_o have_v thou_o no_o need_n of_o any_o thing_n at_o all_o to_o contain_v thou_o who_o thyself_o conteine_v all_o thing_n for_o in_o thy_o fill_v they_o thou_o do_v also_o contain_v they_o and_o they_o be_v full_a of_o thou_o by_o be_v receive_v into_o thou_o for_o the_o vessel_n that_o be_v replenish_v with_o thou_o add_v to_o thy_o fluxure_n no_o consistency_n because_o thou_o be_v not_o shed_v at_o all_o when_o they_o be_v break_v and_o when_o thou_o be_v pour_v out_o upon_o we_o thou_o be_v not_o spill_v 2.18_o act._n 2.18_o but_o we_o be_v conserve_v nor_o thou_o dissipate_v but_o we_o by_o thou_o recollect_v and_o keep_v from_o effusion_n but_o thou_o who_o thus_o fille_v all_o thing_n fille_v thou_o each_o with_o all_o thyself_o or_o they_o not_o capable_a of_o thou_o whole_o do_v they_o only_o receive_v some_o part_n and_o then_o do_v they_o all_o receive_v the_o same_o or_o several_a part_n of_o thou_o the_o great_a taking_n more_o the_o lesser_a a_o less_o and_o be_v there_o then_o some_o part_n of_o thou_o great_a and_o some_o less_o or_o be_v thou_o every_o where_o total_o yet_o no_o where_o total_o receive_v chap._n iu._n o_o what_o be_v thou_o therefore_o my_o god_n what_o can_n i_o say_v be_v thou_o but_o the_o lord_n god_n for_o who_o be_v god_n 18.31_o ps_n 18.31_o but_o the_o lord_n or_o who_o be_v god_n save_v our_o god_n o_o thou_o most_o high_a most_o good_a most_o potent_a most_o omnipotent_a most_o merciful_a and_o most_o just_a most_o present_a and_o most_o retire_a the_o fair_a and_o the_o strong_a stable_n and_o yet_o not_o comprehensible_a unchangeable_a and_o yet_o all-changing_a never_o new_a nor_o never_o old_a and_o all-renewing_a only_o wither_v and_o bring_v to_o nothing_o the_o proud_a and_o gallant_a before_o they_o be_v aware_a always_o in_o action_n and_o always_o in_o repose_n still_o gather_v and_o nothing_o lack_v support_v fill_v and_o overspreading_a all_o thing_n their_o father_n nurse_n and_o accomplisher_n still_o in_o chase_n of_o what_o be_v possess_v a_o lover_n without_o affection_n jealous_a without_o fear_v a_o rival_n repent_v thou_o without_o any_o sorrow_n angry_a yet_o still_o most_o calm_o serene_a change_v oft_o thy_o work_n never_o thy_o design_n find_v and_o receive_v again_o what_o be_v never_o lose_v never_o needy_a yet_o fond_a of_o gain_n not_o cover_v yet_o exact_v use_n man_n supererogate_v unto_o thou_o that_o thou_o become_v their_o debtor_n and_o yet_o who_o have_v any_o thing_n not_o thou_o thou_o pay_v debt_n yet_o owe_v nothing_o forgive_v they_o and_o lose_v nothing_o and_o what_o be_v all_o this_o that_o i_o say_v o_o my_o god_n my_o life_n my_o sacred_a sweet-delight_n or_o what_o amount_v it_o unto_o that_o any_o one_o say_v when_o he_o assay_v to_o speak_v of_o thou_o and_o yet_o wo_n to_o they_o who_o in_o thy_o praise_n be_v silent_a though_o in_o it_o they_o be_v no_o more_o than_o mute_a who_o be_v most_o eloquent_a nothing_o eloquent_a or_o whereln_n the_o very_a dumb_a say_v something_o and_o such_o as_o say_v most_o say_v nothing_o chap._n v._n o_o what_o shall_v i_o do_v that_o i_o may_v for_o ever_o repose_v and_o acquiesce_v in_o thou_o what_o shall_v i_o do_v to_o have_v my_o soul_n wholly-poss_a with_o and_o inebriate_v by_o they_z so_o to_o enjoy_v a_o eternal_a oblivion_n of_o all_o past_a evil_n and_o the_o perpetual_a embrace_n of_o thou_o my_o only_a good_a and_o in_o this_o so_o much_o on_o both_o side_n longed-for_a union_n what_o good_a be_v thou_o to_o i_o let_v thy_o mercy_n indulge_v i_o to_o speak_v unto_o thou_o or_o what_o good_a be_o i_o to_o thou_o that_o thou_o exact_a of_o i_o that_o i_o shall_v love_v thou_o and_o if_o i_o do_v it_o not_o be_v high_o displease_v and_o threaten_v to_o bring_v on_o i_o the_o great_a misery_n be_v this_o then_o so_o small_a a_o misery_n for_o i_o not_o to_o love_v thou_o ah_o by_o thy_o mercy_n tell_v i_o o_o lord_n my_o god_n what_o be_v that_o great_a thing_n that_o thou_o be_v unto_o i_o say_v unto_o my_o soul_n i_o be_o thy_o salvation_n it_o psal_n 35.3_o exo._n 33.20_o or_o with_o longing_n to_o see_v it_o but_o say_v it_o so_o as_o it_o may_v hear_v thou_o say_v it_o behold_v the_o ear_n of_o my_o heart_n be_v before_o thou_o open_v they_o and_o say_v unto_o my_o soul_n there_o i_o be_o thy_o salvation_n then_o will_v i_o hasten_v after_o thy_o allure_a voice_n and_o catch_v fast_o hold_v on_o thou_o o_o hide_v not_o thou_o thy_o face_n from_o i_o let_v i_o see_v it_o though_o i_o die_v lest_o otherwise_o i_o die_v so_o as_o never_o to_o see_v it_o the_o mansion_n of_o my_o soul_n be_v too_o narrow_a to_o entertain_v thou_o o_o let_v it_o be_v enlarge_v by_o thou_o it_o be_v very_o ruinous_a be_v thou_o please_v to_o repair_v it_o the_o sordid_a furniture_n thereof_o must_v be_v very_o offensive_a to_o thy_o holy_a eye_n i_o know_v and_o confess_v it_o but_o who_o can_v purge_v and_o cleanse_v it_o beside_o thou_o vulg_n psal_n 19.12_o psal_n 116.10_o psal_n 32.6_o psal_n 26.12_o vulg_n or_o to_o what_o other_n beside_o thou_o shall_v i_o cry_v cleanse_v i_o o_o lord_n from_o my_o secret_a sin_n and_o from_o my_o presumptuous_a wickedness_n deliver_v thy_o servant_n i_o believe_v thou_o have_v and_o will_v forgive_v they_o and_o therefore_o do_v i_o speak_v and_o confess_v they_o o_o lord_n thou_o know_v have_v not_o i_o confess_v against_o i_o my_o sin_n unto_o thou_o o_o my_o god_n i_o hope_v thou_o have_v forgive_v the_o wickedness_n of_o my_o sin_n i_o do_v not_o contend_v in_o judgement_n with_o thou_o for_o thou_o be_v the_o truth_n nor_o will_v i_o be_v deceive_v in_o harken_v to_o excuse_n whilst_o perhaps_o my_o iniquity_n tell_v lie_n unto_o i_o therefore_o do_v i_o not_o contend_v in_o judgement_n with_o thou_o for_o if_o thou_o lord_n shall_v mark_v iniquity_n 130.3_o psal_n 130.3_o o_o lord_n who_o shall_v abide_v it_o chap_n vi._n a_o account*_n of_o st._n augustine_n infancy_n nourish_v and_o sustain_v by_o the_o divine_a providence_n yet_o suffer_v i_o thy_o justice_n lay_v aside_o to_o speak_v unto_o thy_o mercy_n 18.27_o gen._n 18.27_o i_o dust_n and_o ash_n yet_o suffer_v i_o to_o speak_v be_v it_o be_v unto_o the_o mercy_n of_o my_o god_n i_o speak_v and_o not_o to_o man_n so_o apt_a to_o scoff_n at_o i_o and_o perhaps_o thou_o also_o for_o the_o present_a lâ—â—â—liest_a at_o i_o 25.16_o psal_n 25.16_o but_o in_o
same_o faustus_n for_o the_o rest_n i_o have_v meet_v with_o unable_a to_o solve_v my_o doubt_n still_o promise_v he_o to_o i_o a_o little_a of_o who_o conference_n shall_v easy_o clear_v to_o i_o not_o only_o those_o but_o any_o hard_a query_n when_o he_o come_v therefore_o i_o find_v he_o a_o person_n indeed_o of_o very_o agreeable_a and_o compleasant_a discourse_n and_o much_o more_o charm_o deliver_v the_o same_o thing_n which_o they_o have_v say_v before_o but_o what_o be_v my_o thirst_n relieve_v by_o have_v so_o decent_a a_o minister_n of_o such_o precious_a but_o empty_a cup_n my_o car_n have_v be_v long_o since_o cloy_v with_o such_o dainty_n nor_o do_v any_o thing_n seem_v better_o to_o i_o because_o better_o say_v nor_o therefore_o any_o thing_n true_a because_o elegant_a nor_o the_o soul_n wise_a for_o a_o comely_a mine_n and_o a_o graceful_a utterance_n neither_o be_v those_o who_o promise_v he_o to_o i_o good_a weigher_n of_o such_o thing_n to_o who_o he_o seem_v prudent_a in_o his_o judgement_n because_o please_v in_o his_o word_n whereas_o i_o have_v also_o find_v other_o of_o a_o contrary_a humour_n that_o suspect_v truth_n itself_o and_o suspend_v their_o assent_n to_o it_o so_o often_o as_o present_v in_o count_n and_o elegant_a expression_n but_o thou_o have_v then_o already_o teach_v i_o o_o my_o god_n by_o way_n secret_a and_o admirable_a for_o i_o presume_v that_o it_o be_v thou_o that_o taught_v it_o i_o because_o i_o now_o know_v it_o to_o be_v true_a and_o there_o be_v no_o other_o doctor_n of_o truth_n beside_o thou_o where_o or_o howsoever_o it_o shine_v forth_o unto_o we_o then_o have_v i_o already_o learn_v from_o thou_o both_o these_o that_o neither_o any_o thing_n shall_v therefore_o seem_v speak_v true_o because_o eloquent_o nor_o therefore_o false_o because_o the_o signification_n thereof_o from_o the_o lip_n be_v somewhat_o inharmonious_a nor_o again_o therefore_o a_o thing_n be_v true_a because_o plain_o and_o naked_o speak_v nor_o therefore_o false_a because_o much_o paint_a and_o adorn_v but_o the_o truth_n and_o falsehood_n wisdom_n and_o folly_n be_v like_o wholesome_a and_o hurtful_a meat_n both_o of_o which_o may_v be_v serve_v up_o either_o in_o rich_a or_o mean_a language_n as_o these_o may_v in_o courtly_a or_o country_n dish_n chap._n vii_o s._n augustine_n affection_n to_o the_o manichean_a doctrine_n much_o abate_v upon_o discovery_n of_o faustus_n his_o ignorance_n who_o he_o instruct_v in_o the_o art_n of_o rhetoric_n when_o therefore_o he_o also_o after_o much_o trial_n make_v of_o he_o appear_v sufficient_o ignorant_a of_o those_o art_n in_o which_o i_o presume_v he_o excellent_a i_o despair_v of_o receive_v from_o he_o any_o solution_n of_o those_o doubt_n which_o so_o much_o perplex_v i_o though_o yet_o in_o the_o ignorance_n of_o those_o art_n i_o grant_v he_o may_v have_v retain_v still_o the_o truth_n of_o piety_n suppose_v he_o have_v not_o be_v a_o manichean_a for_o their_o book_n be_v full_a of_o tedious_a fable_n of_o the_o heaven_n and_o the_o star_n and_o the_o sun_n and_o the_o moon_n which_o now_o i_o have_v no_o long_o a_o conceit_n that_o he_o can_v evidence_n unto_o i_o by_o show_v out_o of_o the_o manichean_a writing_n reason_n better_a or_o at_o least_o equal_a to_o those_o i_o have_v former_o read_v which_o reason_n when_o i_o propose_v to_o be_v examine_v and_o discuss_v he_o modest_o dare_v not_o undertake_v the_o controversy_n and_o well_o know_v his_o ignorance_n neither_o be_v he_o ashamed_a to_o acknowledge_v it_o not_o like_a to_o those_o i_o before_o meet_v with_o who_o undertake_v to_o teach_v i_o and_o say_v nothing_o but_o he_o have_v a_o soul_n though_o not_o upright_o towards_o thou_o yet_o not_o also_o treacherous_a to_o himself_o not_o altogether_o ignorant_a be_v he_o of_o his_o ignorance_n and_o not_o will_v in_o a_o rash_a dispute_n to_o run_v himself_o into_o those_o strait_n out_o of_o which_o he_o can_v neither_o find_v a_o issue_n nor_o a_o fair_a retreat_n and_o herein_o his_o carriage_n much_o take_v i_o the_o modesty_n of_o his_o soul_n in_o confess_v its_o defect_n have_v much_o more_o beauty_n and_o worth_a in_o it_o than_o his_o science_n can_v have_v have_v in_o solve_v my_o doubt_n and_o in_o all_o difficulter_n and_o subtle_a question_n which_o i_o propose_v on_o this_o manner_n i_o find_v he_o my_o affection_n therefore_o which_o i_o former_o have_v to_o the_o manichean_a opinion_n be_v now_o much_o abate_v and_o despair_v of_o their_o other_o doctor_n skill_n after_o the_o trial_n of_o one_o so_o much_o fame_v i_o begin_v a_o new_a conversation_n with_o he_o in_o those_o study_n of_o rhetoric_n which_o he_o much_o affect_v and_o i_o then_o teach_v at_o carthage_n read_v with_o he_o such_o book_n as_o he_o desire_v or_o i_o think_v suitable_a for_o such_o a_o wit_n and_o to_o such_o a_o purpose_n but_o all_o design_n of_o further_a advance_n myself_o in_o that_o sect_n after_o his_o acquaintance_n now_o fall_v to_o the_o ground_n only_o i_o continue_v to_o be_v what_o by_o chance_n i_o then_o be_v until_o i_o shall_v discover_v something_o more_o eligible_a thus_o this_o faustus_n to_o so_o many_o the_o fetter_n of_o death_n become_v the_o first_o loser_n of_o my_o chain_n and_o that_o neither_o wit_v nor_o will_v it_o himself_z for_o thy_o hand_n o_o my_o god_n out_o of_o the_o secret_a of_o thy_o providence_n never_o let_v go_v my_o soul_n whilst_o my_o mother_n do_v sacrifice_v even_o her_o heart_n blood_n unto_o thou_o by_o her_o continual_a tear_n day_n and_o night_n in_o my_o behalf_n and_o thou_o procee_v with_o i_o all_o this_o while_n by_o way_n very_o wonderful_a and_o secret_a and_o undiscoverable_a it_o be_v thou_o do_v this_o o_o my_o god_n for_o man_n step_n be_v direct_v by_o the_o lord_n and_o he_o it_o be_v that_o dispose_v his_o way_n â—3_n psal_n 37._o â—3_n and_o what_o efficient_a of_o safety_n can_v there_o be_v save_o thy_o hand_n which_o only_o can_v repair_v what_o it_o at_o first_o build_v chap._n viii_o much_o offend_v with_o the_o unrulinesse_n of_o his_o scholar_n in_o carthage_n he_o remove_v from_o thence_o beyond_o sea_n to_o rome_n to_o profess_v rhetoric_n there_o extreme_o against_o his_o mother_n will_n therefore_o by_o the_o conduct_n of_o thy_o providence_n it_o be_v now_o so_o bring_v about_o that_o i_o shall_v be_v persuade_v rather_o to_o go_v to_o rome_n and_o to_o teach_v there_o what_o i_o do_v at_o carthage_n and_o here_o how_o i_o become_v so_o resolve_v i_o will_v not_o omit_v to_o confess_v unto_o thou_o because_o also_o in_o these_o thing_n thy_o most_o secret_a working_n and_o always_o most_o present_a mercy_n towards_o we_o ought_v ever_o to_o be_v consider_v and_o profess_v my_o intent_n for_o rome_n be_v not_o so_o much_o for_o great_a profit_n or_o honour_n though_o both_o these_o be_v promise_v by_o my_o friend_n and_o then_o not_o a_o little_a sway_v my_o inclination_n but_o the_o chief_a and_o almost_o the_o only_a reason_n thereof_o be_v because_o youth_n be_v there_o say_v to_o be_v more_o orderly_o in_o the_o school_n and_o quiet_a and_o under_o strict_a discipline_n the_o scholar_n of_o one_o school_n not_o without_o leave_n rush_v in_o and_o disturb_v the_o government_n of_o another_o contrary_a to_o the_o wicked_a and_o licentious_a custom_n of_o those_o of_o carthage_n who_o impudent_o without_o leave_n of_o the_o master_n and_o to_o the_o disturbance_n of_o the_o scholar_n rush_v into_o his_o school_n who_o they_o do_v not_o learn_v of_o and_o there_o commit_v such_o outrage_n as_o be_v punishable_a by_o the_o law_n be_v they_o not_o against_o these_o patronise_v by_o custom_n yet_o in_o this_o they_o so_o much_o the_o more_o unhappy_a that_o they_o do_v as_o a_o thing_n lawful_a what_o thy_o eternal_a command_n have_v prohibit_v and_o that_o they_o conceit_n they_o do_v it_o with_o all_o impunity_n to_o who_o the_o cecity_n by_o which_o they_o do_v it_o be_v a_o great_a punishment_n and_o the_o mischief_n which_o they_o suffer_v themselves_o incomparable_o worse_o then_o that_o they_o act_n on_o other_o therefore_o those_o wicked_a fashion_n which_o i_o hate_v myself_o to_o do_v when_o i_o be_v a_o student_n be_v now_o force_v to_o suffer_v when_o a_o master_n from_o other_o i_o resolve_v rather_o to_o remove_v to_o a_o place_n 142.5_o ps_n 142.5_o where_o i_o be_v tell_v be_v no_o such_o insolence_n but_o thou_o o_o my_o hope_n and_o my_o portion_n in_o the_o land_n of_o the_o live_a to_o make_v i_o change_v my_o station_n for_o the_o change_n of_o my_o life_n and_o for_o the_o safety_n of_o my_o soul_n both_o administre_v discouragement_n at_o carthage_n to_o chase_v i_o thence_o and_o proposedst_a allurement_n at_o rome_n to_o draw_v i_o thither_o and_o this_o thou_o
come_v to_o he_o to_o milan_n her_o vision_n at_o sea_n o_o thou_o my_o hope_n from_o my_o youth_n where_o be_v it_o thou_o then_o and_o whither_o have_v thou_o retire_v thyself_o be_v it_o not_o thou_o that_o have_v make_v i_o and_o distinguish_v i_o from_o the_o beast_n of_o the_o field_n and_o from_o the_o fowl_n of_o the_o air_n for_o thou_o have_v make_v i_o wise_a than_o these_o and_o lo_o i_o walk_v through_o dark_a and_o slippery_a path_n and_o seek_v thou_o abroad_o in_o thing_n without_o i_o and_o so_o i_o find_v not_o the_o god_n of_o my_o soul_n and_o be_v now_o at_o last_o sink_v into_o the_o bottom_n of_o the_o deep_a disconsolate_a and_o despair_v of_o ever_o find_v truth_n and_o now_o be_v my_o good_a mother_n come_v unto_o i_o courageous_a through_o piety_n and_o both_o over_o land_n and_o sea_n follow_v after_o i_o in_o all_o her_o peril_n secure_a of_o thy_o help_n for_o also_o when_o they_o be_v in_o great_a danger_n at_o sea_n she_o comfort_v the_o mariner_n themselves_o by_o who_o the_o unexperienced_a passenger_n of_o the_o deep_a rather_o use_v to_o be_v comfort_v and_o assure_v they_o of_o a_o safe_a arrival_n because_o thou_o have_v before_o by_o vision_n assure_v this_o to_o she_o and_o here_o she_o find_v i_o languish_v all_o in_o despair_n of_o discovery_n of_o truth_n and_o when_o i_o tell_v she_o that_o now_o though_o i_o be_v no_o catholic_n yet_o i_o be_v no_o manichee_n she_o express_v no_o extraordinary_a joy_n as_o at_o a_o thing_n unexpected_a although_o by_o this_o she_o remain_v now_o secure_v concern_v one_o great_a part_n of_o my_o misery_n wherein_o she_o *_o have_v long_o deplore_v i_o as_o dead_a but_o so_o dead_a as_o capable_a of_o a_o resuscitation_n unto_o thou_o and_z *_o have_v offer_v i_o carried_z forth_o upon_o the_o biâ—re_n of_o her_o thought_n unto_o thou_o that_o thou_o touch_v with_o companion_n will_v be_v please_v to_o say_v unto_o the_o son_n of_o this_o widow_n 7.12_o luke_n 7.12_o yâ—ung_a man_n i_o say_v unto_o thou_o arise_v and_o so_o her_o son_n may_v revive_v and_o may_v begin_v to_o speak_v and_o thou_o may_v deliver_v he_o to_o his_o mother_n with_o no_o such_o extraordinary_a exultation_n i_o say_v be_v her_o heart_n transport_v at_o all_o in_o hear_v that_o the_o business_n be_v so_o far_o do_v for_o which_o she_o have_v daily_o weep_v before_o thou_o in_o that_o i_o be_v already_o though_o not_o confirm_v in_o truth_n yet_o remove_v from_o error_n but_o as_o be_v ascertain_v that_o in_o due_a time_n thou_o will_v give_v the_o rest_n who_o have_v promise_v she_o the_o whole_a she_o calm_o and_o with_o a_o breast_n full_a of_o confidence_n answer_v i_o that_o she_o full_o believe_v in_o christ_n before_o she_o die_v she_o shall_v see_v i_o also_o a_o perfect_a catholic_n and_o this_o to_o i_o buâ—_n to_o thou_o fountain_n of_o mercy_n she_o redouble_v her_o request_n and_o tear_n that_o thou_o will_v hasten_v thy_o aid_n &_o enlighten_v my_o darkness_n more_o zealous_o she_o run_v to_o the_o church_n and_o to_o that_o fountain_n of_o live_a water_n spring_v up_o unto_o life_n eternal_a and_o hang_v upon_o the_o sweet_a lip_n of_o thy_o servant_n ambrose_n for_o she_o love_v and_o reverence_v that_o man_n as_o a_o angel_n of_o god_n because_o she_o know_v that_o by_o his_o mean_n i_o be_v reduce_v to_o this_o fluctuate_a and_o aguish_a condition_n and_o she_o certain_o presume_v that_o my_o disease_n be_v now_o bring_v to_o a_o crisis_n as_o physician_n speak_v i_o shall_v after_o the_o access_n of_o a_o sharp_a fit_a be_v advance_v to_o a_o perfect_a health_n chap._n ii_o her_o great_a piety_n sobriety_n obedience_n to_o bishop_n ambrose_n prohibit_v charity-feasting_n at_o the_o tomb_n of_o martyr_n than_o a_o usual_a custom_n in_o africa_n therefore_o when_o according_a to_o the_o custom_n in_o africa_n she_o have_v bring_v with_o she_o to_o the_o oratory_n of_o the_o saint_n bread_n wine_n and_o pultes_fw-la and_o pultes_fw-la other_o edible_a provision_n and_o by_o the_o sexton_n of_o such_o sanctuary_n be_v forbid_v it_o so_o soon_o as_o ever_o she_o understand_v that_o it_o be_v the_o bishop_n countermand_n she_o so_o pious_o and_o obedient_o conform_v to_o iâ—_n that_o i_o much_o admire_v she_o can_v so_o sudden_o become_v rather_o a_o accuser_n of_o her_o former_a practice_n than_o a_o disputer_n of_o the_o present_a prohibition_n for_o her_o spirit_n be_v free_a from_o all_o inclination_n to_o intemperance_n and_o the_o love_n of_o wine_n do_v not_o provoke_v she_o to_o the_o hate_n of_o truth_n as_o it_o do_v many_o of_o both_o sex_n who_o excess_n make_v they_o nauseat_v a_o lesson_n of_o sobriety_n like_o a_o cup_n of_o small_a water_n but_o she_o carry_v thither_o her_o basket_n furnish_v with_o the_o accustom_a provision_n only_o to_o be_v taste_v of_o and_o so_o distribute_v to_o other_o never_o present_v but_o one_o little_a cup_n of_o wine_n much_o do_v lute_v and_o mix_v for_o her_o sober_a palate_n to_o take_v a_o little_a taste_n thereof_o and_o if_o there_o be_v more_o memorial_n than_o one_o so_o to_o be_v honour_v poor_a honour_v such_o provision_n be_v carry_v aâ—_n a_o offering_n in_o honour_n of_o the_o martyr_n to_o be_v distribute_v to_o those_o who_o be_v present_a and_o especial_o to_o the_o poor_a the_o same_o small_a cup_n serve_v she_o for_o they_o all_o which_o not_o only_o much_o watery_a but_o also_o by_o carriage_n very_o hot_a and_o unrefresh_a be_v by_o small_a sipping_n divide_v between_o she_o and_o her_o companion_n in_o the_o devotion_n as_o who_o in_o such_o place_n seek_v not_o sensuality_n but_o piety_n she_o therefore_o perceive_v that_o this_o pious_a prelate_n and_o famous_a preacher_n have_v command_v no_o such_o thing_n to_o be_v practise_v though_o by_o the_o sober_a *_o least_o so_o any_o occasion_n of_o gluttony_n shall_v be_v give_v to_o the_o intemperate_a and_o also_o *_o because_o such_o parentalia_fw-la as_o it_o be_v and_o festival_n ceremony_n at_o the_o tomb_n of_o the_o decease_a very_o much_o resemble_v pagan_a superstition_n she_o do_v most_o willing_o acquiesce_v thereto_o and_o in_o stead_n of_o a_o basket_n former_o full_a of_o the_o fruit_n of_o the_o earth_n she_o learn_v to_o carry_v to_o these_o sanctuary_n a_o heart_n full_a of_o more_o purify_a vow_n both_o to_o give_v to_o the_o poor_a what_o she_o can_v spare_v and_o there_o to_o celebrate_v the_o communion_n of_o the_o lord_n body_n in_o the_o imitation_n of_o who_o passion_n be_v the_o immolation_n and_o coronation_n of_o those_o martyr_n yet_o my_o mind_n persuade_v i_o that_o my_o mother_n will_v not_o so_o easy_o have_v yield_v to_o the_o reverse_v of_o this_o her_o custom_n have_v another_o person_n than_o ambrose_n prohibit_v it_o who_o she_o dear_o love_v for_o his_o advance_v my_o salvation_n and_o he_o she_o for_o her_o religious_a conversation_n so_o fervent_a in_o spirit_n and_o good_a work_n so_o frequent_a at_o church_n so_o that_o he_o espy_v i_o there_o at_o his_o sermon_n will_v often_o to_o i_o break_v forth_o in_o her_o praise_n much_o joy_v i_o of_o such_o a_o mother_n not_o know_v that_o she_o have_v such_o a_o son_n who_o be_v yet_o in_o all_o matter_n a_o sceptic_a and_o think_v the_o true_a way_n of_o life_n utter_o undiscoverable_a chap._n iii_o s._n ambrose_n his_o employment_n s._n austin_n find_v no_o opportunity_n of_o p_o ivate_a discourse_n with_o he_o yet_o learn_v from_o his_o sermon_n that_o catholic_n hold_v not_o the_o doctrine_n charge_v on_o they_o by_o the_o manichee_n neither_o be_v my_o soul_n now_o mourn_v in_o prayer_n to_o procure_v thy_o deliverance_n but_o intent_n to_o make_v query_n and_o restless_a to_o dispute_v as_o for_o ambrose_n i_o take_v he_o to_o be_v a_o man_n only_o secular_o happy_a be_v so_o much_o reverence_v by_o so_o many_z and_o great_a personage_n saâ—ing_v that_o his_o celibacy_n seem_v to_o i_o somewhat_o troublesome_a to_o be_v undergo_v but_o what_o lively_a hope_n he_o have_v of_o future_a to_o counterpoise_v the_o temptation_n and_o vanity_n of_o present_a eminency_n what_o conflict_n or_o solace_n he_o feel_v in_o adversity_n justina_n adversity_n when_o he_o be_v in_o disgrace_n and_o pâ—_n secute_v â—y_a the_o empress_n justina_n what_o savoury_a joy_n the_o hide_a mouth_n of_o his_o heart_n taste_v in_o ruminate_v upon_o thy_o delicious_a food_n these_o i_o can_v not_o conjecture_v nor_o have_v experience_v nor_o on_o the_o other_o side_n know_v he_o the_o anxiety_n of_o my_o spirit_n nor_o the_o depth_n of_o my_o danger_n for_o i_o can_v not_o confer_v with_o he_o what_o and_o how_o much_o i_o please_v be_v seclude_v from_o his_o speech_n by_o the_o many_o business_n of_o other_o whosâ—_n infirmity_n he_o serve_v and_o the_o rest_n of_o
he_o that_o be_v faithful_a in_o that_o which_o be_v least_o be_v faithful_a also_o in_o much_o nor_o can_v that_o possible_o be_v speak_v to_o no_o purpose_n which_o come_v from_o the_o mouth_n of_o thy_o truth_n if_o you_o have_v not_o be_v faithful_a in_o the_o unrighteous_a mammon_n who_o will_v commit_v to_o your_o trust_n true_a riches_n and_o if_o you_o have_v not_o be_v faithful_a in_o that_o which_o be_v another_o man_n who_o shall_v give_v you_o that_o which_o be_v your_o own_o he_o then_o such_o a_o man_n as_o i_o have_v describe_v adjoin_v himself_o to_o i_o and_o with_o i_o labour_v in_o the_o same_o uncertainty_n of_o what_o course_n of_o life_n be_v fit_a to_o be_v prosecute_v by_o we_o nebridius_fw-la likewise_o leave_v *_o his_o own_o country_n not_o far_o from_o the_o principal_a city_n carthage_n and_o *_o carthage_n also_o itself_o where_o his_o residence_n most_o usual_o be_v leave_v his_o father_n land_n and_o his_o house_n a_o excellent_a seat_n and_o his_o mother_n desolate_a who_o will_v not_o follow_v his_o travel_n as_o i_o do_v he_o also_o come_v to_o milan_n for_o no_o other_o cause_n but_o to_o live_v and_o join_v with_o i_o in_o the_o same_o zealous_a quest_n after_o verity_n and_o wisdom_n and_o such_o likewise_o be_v his_o suspire_a such_o his_o fluctuation_n a_o ardent_a inquisitor_n after_o a_o beatifical_a life_n and_o a_o acute_a discusser_n of_o the_o most_o difficult_a question_n and_o here_o now_o be_v the_o famish_a mouth_n of_o three_o necessitous_a person_n breathe_v their_o spiritual_a poverty_n and_o want_v one_o to_o another_o gasp_v towards_o and_o wait_v on_o thou_o until_o thou_o shall_v give_v they_o their_o meat_n in_o due_a season_n 145.15_o psal_n 145.15_o and_o in_o that_o bitterness_n and_o anguish_n of_o spirit_n which_o by_o thy_o great_a mercy_n follow_v our_o secular_a employment_n when_o we_o examine_v the_o end_n why_o we_o shall_v suffer_v such_o ungrateful_a labour_n we_o discover_v nothing_o but_o darkness_n and_o we_o turn_v away_o our_o face_n with_o grief_n and_o say_v how_o long_o will_v this_o be_v and_o this_o we_o often_o say_v yet_o say_v so_o do_v not_o leave_v such_o thing_n because_o there_o appear_v elsewhere_o nothing_o certain_a to_o which_o these_o forsake_v we_o may_v confident_o adhere_v chap._n xi_o s._n augustine_n reason_v with_o himself_o concern_v his_o past_a and_o present_a condition_n and_o the_o disposal_n of_o his_o future_a life_n the_o misery_n he_o apprehend_v to_o be_v in_o a_o single_a life_n and_o i_o wonder_v extreme_o when_o i_o consider_v what_o a_o long_a time_n it_o be_v since_o the_o nineteenth_o year_n of_o my_o age_n when_o i_o begin_v first_o to_o be_v inflame_v with_o the_o pursuit_n of_o wisdom_n resolve_v upon_o discovery_n thereof_o to_o quit_v all_o other_o empty_a hope_n and_o deceive_a frenzy_n of_o vanish_v desire_n and_o now_o behold_v i_o thirty_o year_n old_a still_o stick_v in_o the_o same_o mire_n covetous_a after_o the_o fruition_n of_o thing_n *_o present_n *_o draw_v i_o hither_o and_o thither_o and_o *_o then_o fly_v from_o i_o whilst_o i_o say_v to_o myself_o to_o morrow_n i_o shall_v find_v it_o out_o it_o will_v clear_o discover_v itself_o and_o i_o shall_v embrace_v it_o and_o behold_v faustus_n will_v come_v and_o will_v expound_v all_o to_o i_o o_o wise_a academic_n than_o say_v i_o in_o who_o opinion_n there_o be_v nothing_o certain_o knowable_a for_o the_o regulate_v of_o humane_a life_n nay_o say_v i_o then_o but_o let_v we_o not_o despair_v but_o more_o diligent_o search_v on_o behold_v there_o be_v not_o those_o absurdity_n in_o the_o ecclesiastical_a book_n that_o we_o imagine_v but_o they_o may_v be_v otherwise_o and_o rational_o interpret_v final_o let_v i_o remain_v in_o those_o notion_n of_o religion_n wherein_o my_o childhood_n be_v instruct_v by_o my_o parent_n till_o clear_a truth_n be_v find_v out_o but_o where_o or_o when_o shall_v we_o seek_v it_o ambrose_n be_v not_o at_o leisure_n nor_o have_v we_o the_o leisure_n to_o read_v book_n where_o shall_v we_o seek_v these_o book_n with_o what_o or_o in_o what_o time_n procure_v they_o upon_o who_o recommendation_n take_v they_o nay_o but_o let_v we_o set_v some_o time_n apart_o let_v we_o contribute_v some_o certain_a hour_n for_o the_o salvation_n of_o our_o soul_n great_a hope_n appear_v the_o church_n catholic_n teach_v not_o what_o we_o think_v and_o whereof_o vain_o we_o accuse_v she_o her_o learned_a condemn_v it_o as_o blasphemous_a to_o think_v god_n terminate_v with_o a_o humane_a shape_n and_o doubt_v we_o to_o knock_v that_o the_o rest_n may_v be_v open_v my_o scholar_n employ_v my_o forenoon_n hour_n for_o the_o rest_n of_o my_o time_n what_o do_v i_o why_o not_o do_v this_o but_o when_o then_o visit_v our_o great_a friend_n who_o favour_n we_o must_v use_v when_o prepare_v the_o matter_n we_o sell_v to_o our_o scholar_n and_o when_o repair_v our_o spirit_n in_o relax_v our_o mind_n from_o this_o intention_n of_o care_n perish_v all_o and_o let_v these_o vain_a and_o empty_a solicitude_n be_v dismiss_v and_o let_v we_o now_o set_v ourselves_o only_o to_o this_o inquisition_n of_o truth_n the_o life_n we_o live_v be_v wretched_a death_n uncertain_a if_o it_o shall_v sudden_o seize_v on_o we_o in_o what_o a_o case_n go_v we_o hence_o and_o where_o ever_o shall_v we_o learn_v what_o here_o neglect_n or_o more_o shall_v not_o this_o our_o neglect_n then_o be_v punish_v but_o yet_o what_o if_o death_n deprive_v the_o soul_n of_o all_o its_o sense_n and_o its_o care_n together_o then_o be_v this_o also_o worthy_a to_o be_v seek_v out_o but_o god_n forbid_v it_o shall_v be_v so_o sure_o it_o be_v no_o vain_a no_o empty_a matter_n that_o the_o authority_n of_o the_o christian_a faith_n shall_v thus_o over_o spread_v all_o the_o world_n with_o so_o great_a pre-eminence_n and_o renown_n and_o sure_o the_o divine_a hand_n will_v not_o have_v operate_v so_o great_a thing_n for_o we_o if_o together_o with_o the_o death_n of_o the_o body_n be_v also_o waste_v and_o extinguish_v the_o life_n of_o the_o soul_n why_o delay_v we_o then_o the_o hope_n of_o the_o present_a age_n forsake_v to_o give_v up_o ourselves_o whole_o to_o the_o search_n of_o god_n and_o happiness_n but_o defer_v a_o while_n these_o thing_n be_v also_o pleasant_a and_o have_v in_o they_o no_o little_a sweetness_n let_v we_o not_o call_v off_o our_o intention_n from_o they_o too_o hasty_o because_o after_o this_o do_v it_o will_v be_v dishonourable_a to_o return_v to_o they_o see_v how_o little_o we_o want_v of_o acquire_v some_o place_n of_o honour_n in_o the_o world_n and_o this_o obtain_v we_o may_v then_o set_v up_o our_o rest_n great_a store_n of_o friend_n we_o have_v very_o potent_a if_o nothing_o else_o be_v get_v and_o our_o haste_n will_v not_o stay_v for_o a_o better_a place_n yet_o we_o may_v soon_o attain_v a_o presidentship_n and_o then_o a_o wife_n also_o must_v be_v get_v with_o a_o reasonable_a dowry_n that_o she_o may_v not_o be_v a_o charge_n and_o here_o shall_v my_o secular_a desire_n take_v up_o many_o great_a and_o imitable_a person_n have_v bestow_v themselves_o in_o the_o study_n of_o wisdom_n be_v marry_v whilst_o i_o discourse_v such_o thing_n and_o these_o contrary_a wind_n drive_v my_o heart_n to_o and_o fro_o the_o time_n run_v on_o and_o i_o foreslow_v to_o be_v convert_v to_o the_o lord_n god_n and_o defer_v from_o day_n to_o day_n to_o live_v in_o thou_o though_o i_o defer_v not_o daily_o more_o and_o more_o to_o die_v in_o myself_o in_o love_n with_o a_o beatifical_a life_n yet_o i_o fear_v to_o find_v it_o where_o it_o be_v and_o seek_v after_o it_o by_o fly_v from_o it_o for_o i_o think_v i_o shall_v be_v in_o too_o wretched_a a_o condition_n if_o deprive_v of_o the_o embrace_n of_o a_o woman_n and_o i_o imagine_v not_o the_o medicine_n of_o thy_o mercy_n to_o cure_v this_o infirmity_n because_o i_o have_v not_o try_v they_o and_o suppose_a continency_n a_o effect_n of_o our_o own_o ability_n in_o which_o i_o find_v i_o too_o weak_a for_o i_o be_v so_o uninstruct_v that_o i_o know_v it_o not_o to_o be_v write_v vulg_n wisd_v 8.21_o vulg_n that_o none_o be_v continent_n but_o from_o thy_o gift_n but_o that_o thou_o will_v give_v it_o if_o i_o do_v with_o hearty_a sigh_n and_o groan_n knock_v at_o thy_o ear_n and_o with_o a_o solid_a faith_n cast_v upon_o thou_o my_o care_n chap._n xii_o the_o dispute_v between_o he_o and_o alipius_n most_o chaste_o dispose_v concern_v marriage_n and_o single_a life_n indeed_o alipius_n much_o dissuade_v i_o from_o marry_v allege_v we_o can_v no_o way_n with_o any_o secure_a leisure_n attend_v upon_o our_o long_a purpose_a search_n of_o wisdom_n if_o i_o run_v this_o
luckiness_n in_o they_o and_o that_o in_o their_o speak_v many_o thing_n that_o shall_v be_v speak_v some_o thing_n which_o do_v after_o come_v to_o pass_v not_o foreknow_v by_o those_o who_o say_v they_o but_o happen_v on_o by_o their_o not_o say_v nothing_o thou_o procure_v i_o say_v a_o friend_n of_o i_o a_o curious_a consulter_n of_o astrologer_n though_o himself_o not_o much_o see_v in_o it_o who_o relate_v to_o i_o something_o from_o his_o father_n which_o though_o he_o make_v little_a reflection_n thereupon_o serve_v very_o much_o for_o the_o overthrow_n of_o the_o vain_a esteem_n of_o that_o science_n this_o man_n therefore_o by_o name_n firminus_n ingenuous_o educate_v and_o well_o study_v in_o eloquence_n consult_v i_o as_o one_o very_o dear_a to_o he_o what_o i_o collect_v from_o his_o constellation_n as_o he_o call_v they_o concern_v some_o important_a affair_n of_o he_o to_o which_o his_o secular_a hope_n aspire_v and_o i_o who_o be_v now_o somewhat_o incline_v to_o nebridius_fw-la his_o opinion_n conjecture_v and_o divine_v thereupon_o what_o my_o doubt_a mind_n metwith_a in_o the_o art_n but_o withal_o superad_v that_o i_o be_v almost_o persuade_v all_o those_o thing_n be_v ridiculous_a and_o vain_a he_o proceed_v to_o tell_v i_o how_o his_o father_n be_v a_o most_o curious_a student_n of_o such_o book_n and_o have_v also_o a_o friend_n alike-affected_n who_o with_o emulate_a study_n and_o compare_v of_o their_o observation_n be_v so_o far_o inflame_v towards_o those_o toy_n as_o that_o when_o any_o mute_a animal_n of_o their_o own_o bring_v forth_o young_a they_o mark_v the_o moment_n of_o their_o birth_n and_o set_v down_o the_o position_n of_o the_o heaven_n in_o they_o from_o whence_o they_o may_v gather_v some_o experiment_n of_o this_o art_n and_o he_o say_v he_o have_v hear_v from_o his_o father_n that_o when_o his_o mother_n be_v great_a with_o child_n of_o the_o say_v firminus_n a_o certain_a maid-servant_n of_o his_o friend_n happen_v to_o be_v big_a with_o child_n at_o the_o same_o time_n not_o unremark_v by_o her_o master_n who_o observe_v with_o most_o exact_a diligence_n even_o the_o puppying_n of_o his_o dog_n and_o that_o so_o it_o happen_v that_o they_o with_o most_o wary_a observation_n account_v one_o the_o day_n hour_n minute_n of_o his_o wife_n the_o other_o of_o his_o maid_n be_v bring_v to_o bed_n both_o be_v deliver_v at_o the_o same_o instant_n so_o that_o they_o be_v force_v to_o set_v down_o the_o same_o calculation_n to_o a_o minute_n of_o the_o nativity_n one_o of_o his_o son_n the_o other_o of_o his_o servant_n for_o as_o soon_o as_o the_o woman_n fall_v in_o labour_n they_o give_v mutual_a notice_n and_o have_v one_o ready_a to_o send_v to_o each_o other_o so_o soon_o as_o the_o child_n be_v bear_v and_o those_o send_v meet_v so_o just_o in_o the_o midway_n that_o neither_o of_o they_o be_v permit_v to_o observe_v any_o position_n of_o the_o star_n or_o particle_n of_o time_n different_a from_o the_o other_o and_o yet_o firminus_n as_o honourable_o descend_v run_v the_o more_o happy_a course_n of_o this_o world_n increase_v in_o wealth_n be_v advance_v in_o dignity_n but_o the_o servant_n have_v the_o yoke_n of_o his_o condition_n no_o way_n ease_v wait_v on_o a_o master_n as_o he_o tell_v i_o who_o very_o well_o know_v he_o hear_v therefore_o and_o believe_v these_o thing_n from_o so_o creditable_a a_o author_n all_o my_o former_a reluctance_n present_o melt_v and_o first_o i_o endeavour_v to_o reduce_v firminus_n from_o this_o curiosity_n saying_n that_o from_o the_o inspection_n of_o his_o constellation_n to_o tell_v he_o the_o truth_n of_o what_o shall_v succeed_v i_o be_v in_o they_o to_o discern_v that_o his_o parent_n be_v of_o better_a quality_n his_o family_n noble_a of_o the_o city_n where_o they_o live_v his_o extraction_n and_o his_o education_n honourable_a his_o study_n ingenuous_a but_o if_o afterward_o the_o servant_n out_o of_o these_o constellation_n for_o he_o have_v the_o same_o consult_v i_o to_o tell_v he_o the_o truth_n also_o i_o must_v in_o they_o behold_v his_o fortune_n a_o most_o abject_a family_n a_o condition_n servile_a and_o all_o other_o thing_n far_o differ_v and_o much_o contrary_n to_o the_o former_a whence_o it_o will_v follow_v that_o on_o the_o same_o aspect_n i_o be_v to_o read_v contrary_a fortune_n if_o i_o foretell_v the_o truth_n or_o if_o i_o read_v the_o same_o fortune_n must_v say_v what_o be_v false_a and_o hence_o i_o gather_v that_o what_o be_v speak_v true_a from_o consideration_n of_o such_o constellation_n be_v say_v not_o by_o art_n but_o by_o guess_n and_o what_o be_v speak_v false_a be_v not_o from_o any_o unskilfulness_n of_o art_n but_o from_o the_o error_n of_o guess_v from_o this_o entrance_n upon_o a_o further_a consideration_n of_o these_o thing_n lest_o any_o who_o live_v by_o this_o trade_n who_o i_o much_o desire_v to_o confute_v and_o render_v ridiculous_a shall_v reply_v that_o firminus_n to_o i_o or_o his_o father_n at_o least_o to_o he_o have_v tell_v a_o untruth_n i_o reflect_v my_o thought_n on_o those_o who_o be_v bear_v twin_n who_o ordinary_o be_v exclude_v into_o the_o world_n so_o hasty_o one_o after_o the_o other_o that_o the_o small_a interval_n of_o time_n whatever_o operation_n they_o may_v pretend_v it_o to_o have_v in_o nature_n yet_o can_v be_v collect_v by_o humane_a observation_n nor_o express_v in_o the_o composition_n of_o any_o figure_n out_o of_o which_o the_o astrologer_n be_v to_o make_v his_o prognostication_n his_o prediction_n therefore_o either_o can_v be_v true_a if_o from_o peruse_v the_o same_o figure_n he_o shall_v say_v the_o same_o thing_n for_o example_n of_o esau_n and_o jacob_n when_o as_o the_o same_o thing_n happen_v not_o to_o they_o both_o or_o if_o true_a he_o must_v not_o say_v the_o same_o of_o they_o whereas_o yet_o his_o inspection_n be_v utter_o the_o same_o therefore_o not_o from_o art_n but_o chance_n it_o be_v that_o he_o speak_v truth_n for_o thou_o o_o lord_n the_o most_o just_a moderator_n of_o the_o universe_n whilst_o the_o consulter_n and_o the_o consult_v know_v not_o any_o thing_n by_o a_o secret_a instinct_n ordere_v what_o be_v fit_a both_o that_o the_o one_o shall_v say_v and_o the_o other_o hear_v according_a to_o the_o hide_a merit_n of_o soul_n and_o the_o abyss_n of_o thy_o just_a judgement_n 35.17_o eâ—clus_n 35.17_o to_o who_o let_v none_o say_v what_o be_v this_o wherefore_o be_v that_o let_v he_o not_o say_v let_v he_o not_o say_v it_o for_o he_o be_v but_o a_o man_n chap._n vii_o prosecute_a the_o same_o query_n unde_fw-la malum_fw-la thus_o loose_v from_o these_o bond_n by_o thou_o my_o helper_n yet_o i_o be_v still_o in_o a_o labyrinth_n concern_v the_o query_n from_o whence_o evil_a and_o can_v find_v no_o way_n out_o yet_o thou_o do_v not_o suffer_v i_o by_o any_o way_n of_o those_o my_o cogitation_n to_o be_v carry_v away_o from_o the_o right_a faith_n by_o which_o i_o believe_v both_o that_o thou_o be_v and_o that_o thy_o substance_n be_v immutable_a and_o that_o thou_o do_v take_v a_o care_n of_o and_o do_v justice_n among_o man_n and_o that_o in_o christ_n thy_o son_n our_o lord_n and_o in_o the_o holy_a scripture_n which_o the_o authority_n of_o thy_o catholic_n church_n recommend_v unto_o i_o thou_o have_v appoint_v a_o way_n of_o man_n salvation_n in_o reference_n to_o that_o life_n which_o after_o this_o present_a death_n shall_v be_v enjoy_v these_o point_n therefore_o be_v safe_a and_o well-quieted_n in_o my_o mind_n i_o still_o hot_o inquire_v from_o whence_o shall_v come_v evil._n and_o what_o pang_n be_v those_o of_o my_o heart_n in_o travel_n what_o groan_n o_o my_o god_n and_o there_o be_v thy_o ear_n receive_v they_o and_o i_o know_v it_o not_o and_o whilst_o in_o silence_n i_o importunate_o seek_v the_o tacit_a contrition_n of_o my_o soul_n be_v powerful_a clamour_n to_o thy_o mercy_n mecum_fw-la psal_n 38.9_o 10._o vulgar_a ante_fw-la te_fw-la omne_fw-la desiderium_fw-la meum_fw-la &_o lumen_fw-la oculorum_fw-la meorum_fw-la non_fw-la est_fw-la mecum_fw-la and_o my_o desire_n be_v before_o thou_o and_o the_o true_a light_n of_o my_o eye_n be_v not_o with_o i_o for_o it_o be_v within_o and_o i_o be_v abroad_o neither_o possess_v it_o any_o place_n but_o my_o fancy_n be_v intent_n only_o upon_o thing_n circumscribe_v by_o place_n and_o among_o they_o i_o find_v no_o place_n of_o rest_n and_o neither_o do_v they_o so_o well_o entertain_v i_o that_o i_o can_v say_v i_o be_o well_o this_o be_v enough_o nor_o yet_o do_v they_o quite_o release_v i_o to_o return_v where_o it_o may_v be_v well_o enough_o with_o i_o for_o i_o be_v much_o superior_a to_o they_o as_o inferior_a to_o thou_o and_o thou_o will_v be_v true_a joy_n and_o
that_o they_o have_v a_o verity_n in_o they_o all_o because_o they_o have_v a_o be_v and_o that_o falsity_n be_v nothing_o at_o all_o else_o but_o when_o that_o be_v think_v to_o be_v which_o have_v no_o be_v and_o i_o see_v *_o they_o every_o one_o suitable_a and_o agree_v not_o only_o with_o place_n but_o time_n and_o *_o that_o thou_o who_o alone_o be_v eternal_a do_v not_o begin_v to_o work_v after_o infinite_a time_n and_o age_n be_v run_v out_o because_o all_o those_o time_n and_o age_n which_o have_v already_o or_o shall_v hereafter_o pass_v can_v neither_o go_v nor_o come_v but_o by_o thy_o work_n first_o their_o set_a course_n and_o revolution_n whilst_o thyself_o abide_v unmoveable_a chap._n xvi_o that_o sin_n be_v no_o substance_n but_o the_o perversity_n of_o a_o irregular_a will_n decline_v from_o its_o maker_n and_o i_o perceive_v by_o experience_n that_o it_o be_v no_o strange_a thing_n that_o bread_n be_v a_o affliction_n to_o a_o disease_a palate_n which_o be_v sweet_a to_o a_o sound_n and_o light_v grievous_a to_o weak_a eye_n which_o be_v amiable_a to_o the_o clear_a and_o thy_o justice_n itself_o offend_v the_o wicked_a how_o much_o more_o may_v a_o viper_n or_o a_o worm_n which_o notwithstanding_o thou_o have_v make_v good_a and_o befit_v their_o rank_n and_o station_n in_o the_o low_a region_n of_o thy_o creature_n the_o which_o region_n also_o the_o wicked_a themselves_o be_v most_o fit_a for_o as_o they_o be_v unliker_n unto_o thou_o and_o fit_a again_o for_o a_o superior_a region_n as_o they_o shall_v be_v make_v like_a unto_o thou_o and_o i_o seek_v what_o this_o evil_a and_o wickedness_n be_v and_o i_o find_v it_o not_o a_o substance_n but_o only_o a_o perversion_n and_o declination_n of_o a_o distort_a will_n from_o the_o sovereign_a substance_n of_o thou_o o_o god_n towards_o the_o low_a of_o thing_n forsake_v and_o reject_v what_o be_v most_o precious_a and_o intimate_a unto_o it_o and_o swell_v towards_o vanity_n abroad_o 7._o abroad_o see_v this_o more_o copious_o handle_v in_o his_o first_o book_n de_fw-fr libero_fw-la arbitrio_fw-la or_o unde_fw-la sit_fw-la malum_fw-la write_v at_o rome_n in_o his_o return_n to_o africa_n see_v confess_v l._n 3._o c._n 7._o chap._n xvii_o that_o he_o begin_v now_o to_o have_v a_o right_a opinion_n of_o god_n and_o i_o wonder_v that_o now_o indeed_o i_o begin_v to_o love_v thou_o and_o no_o more_o a_o phantasm_n instead_o of_o thou_o but_o i_o stay_v not_o in_o this_o fruition_n of_o my_o god_n but_o be_v now_o wrap_v towards_o thou_o by_o thy_o beauty_n &_o straight_o part_v from_o thou_o again_o by_o my_o own_o weight_n fall_v down_o upon_o the_o thing_n below_o thou_o not_o without_o sigh_v and_o this_o weight_n that_o press_v i_o down_o be_v my_o former_a carnal_a custom_n but_o i_o retain_v still_o a_o remembrance_n of_o thou_o nor_o can_v i_o now_o doubt_v at_o all_o that_o there_o be_v such_o a_o thing_n as_o be_v all-worthy_a to_o be_v possess_v and_o adhered-to_a but_o that_o i_o as_o yet_o be_v not_o such_o a_o one_o as_o can_v adhear_v to_o it_o for_o the_o corruptible_a body_n press_v down_o the_o soul_n 9.15_o wisd_v 9.15_o and_o the_o earthly_a tabernacle_n weigh_v down_o the_o mind_n that_o muse_v on_o many_o thing_n and_o i_o be_v now_o most_o certain_a 1.20_o rom._n 1.20_o that_o thy_o invisible_a thing_n from_o the_o creation_n of_o the_o world_n be_v clear_o see_v and_o understand_v by_o the_o thing_n that_o be_v make_v even_o thy_o eternal_a power_n and_o godhead_n for_o i_o search_v from_o what_o principle_n it_o shall_v be_v that_o i_o so_o approve_v the_o beauty_n of_o body_n celestial_a or_o terrestrial_a and_o what_o be_v present_a to_o my_o mind_n when_o it_o pass_v its_o free_a judgement_n upon_o mutable_n and_o say_v this_o aught_o to_o be_v thus_o and_o that_o must_v not_o be_v so_o search_v therefore_o from_o what_o it_o be_v that_o i_o judge_v when_o i_o judge_v so_o i_o have_v already_o find_v that_o there_o be_v a_o unchangeable_a eternity_n of_o truth_n superior_a to_o this_o changeable_a mind_n of_o i_o whilst_o i_o ascend_v in_o this_o my_o quest_n by_o these_o degree_n from_o body_n first_o *_o to_o the_o soul_n as_o outward_o sensitive_a by_o the_o body_n then_o *_o to_o the_o inner_a power_n thereof_o which_o those_o outward_a corporeal_a sense_n inform_v concern_v external_a object_n whitherto_o reach_v the_o knowledge_n of_o beast_n then_o *_o to_o the_o reason_a faculty_n to_o which_o the_o thing_n receive_v from_o the_o external_a sense_n be_v present_v to_o be_v consider_v and_o judged-of_a which_o rational_a faculty_n well_o perceive_v itself_o also_o to_o be_v in_o i_o a_o thing_n mutable_a ascend_v yet_o high_a *_o to_o a_o more_o pure_a intelligence_n such_o as_o abstract_n from_o accustom_a object_n &_o remove_v from_o the_o troop_n of_o several_a contradict_a phantasm_n that_o so_o it_o may_v find_v out_o what_o light_n that_o be_v with_o which_o it_o be_v inform_v when_o without_o any_o hesitancy_n it_o cry_v out_o that_o the_o unchangeable_a be_v to_o be_v prefer_v before_o the_o changeable_a and_o so_o may_v come_v to_o know_v this_o unchangeable_a essence_n which_o have_v it_o not_o already_o know_v in_o some_o measure_n it_o can_v not_o have_v so_o certain_o prefer_v it_o before_o thing_n mutable_a and_o thus_o i_o may_v arrive_v at_o last_o to_o that_o which_o be_v discern_v only_o in_o a_o twinkle_a glance_n of_o a_o tremble_a sight_n and_o thus_o i_o have_v now_o a_o glimpse_n of_o thy_o invisible_a thing_n be_v understand_v by_o those_o thing_n which_o do_v appear_v but_o i_o can_v not_o yet_o steady_o fix_v my_o eye_n upon_o they_o nor_o stand_v still_o any_o while_n to_o enjoy_v my_o god_n but_o my_o weakness_n straight_o be_v dazzle_v and_o beat_v back_o and_o relapse_v to_o accustom_a object_n i_o carry_v away_o with_o i_o only_o a_o love_a â—â—â—embrance_n of_o thou_o and_o a_o longing_n after_o thing_n which_o i_o 〈◊〉_d as_o it_o be_v already_o but_o i_o be_v not_o yet_o able_a to_o feed_v upon_o chap._n xviii_o but_o have_v not_o yet_o a_o right_a opinion_n of_o the_o incarnation_n of_o the_o lord_n jesus_n the_o only_a way_n to_o salvation_n and_o i_o seek_v after_o some_o way_n of_o acquire_v so_o much_o strength_n as_o may_v enable_v i_o to_o enjoy_v thou_o nor_o find_v i_o any_o 14.6_o 1_o tim._n 2.5_o rom._n 9.5_o john_n 14.6_o *_o till_o i_o come_v to_o embrace_v the_o m_n diator_n between_o god_n and_o man_n the_o man_n christ_n jesus_n who_o be_v above_o all_o god_n bless_v for_o ever_o call_v unto_o i_o and_o say_n i_o be_o the_o way_n the_o truth_n and_o the_o life_n and_o *_o till_o i_o meet_v with_o that_o food_n which_o otherwise_o i_o be_v unable_a to_o receive_v mingle_v itself_o with_o our_o flesh_n for_o the_o word_n be_v make_v flesh_n that_o so_o thy_o wisdom_n may_v nurse_v and_o give_v suck_v to_o our_o infancy_n which_o before_o give_v a_o be_v to_o our_o nature_n for_o i_o do_v not_o then_o as_o yet_o embrace_v my_o lord_n jesus_n christ_n so_o as_o i_o ought_v that_o be_v my_o humility_n embrace_v his_o humility_n nor_o know_v i_o what_o lesson_n that_o his_o infirmity_n read_v i_o who_o be_v thy_o word_n the_o eternal_a truth_n supereminent_a to_o the_o most_o eminent_a part_n of_o thy_o creation_n yet_o in_o the_o low_a region_n thereof_o build_v himself_o a_o humble_a cottage_n of_o our_o mud_n that_o he_o may_v depress_v and_o cast_v down_o such_o as_o will_v become_v his_o subject_n from_o themselves_o and_o then_o raise_v they_o unto_o himself_o heal_v their_o pride_n and_o nourish_v their_o love_n to_o the_o end_n they_o may_v proceed_v no_o further_o in_o their_o haughty_a selfconfidence_n but_o rather_o *_o might_n become_v conscious_a of_o their_o own_o infirmity_n in_o behold_v before_o their_o foot_n a_o infirm_a divinity_n from_o the_o participation_n of_o our_o leathern_a mortal_a cover_n and_o so_o in_o their_o feebleness_n and_o lattitude_n *_o might_n deject_v and_o prostrate_v themselves_o upon_o it_o that_o it_o rising_z again_o may_v also_o raise_v and_o exalt_v they_o with_o it_o chap._n xix_o but_o i_o as_o then_o imagine_v quite_o another_o thing_n and_o have_v a_o estimation_n *_o of_o my_o lord_n christ_n only_o as_o of_o a_o man_n admirable_o wise_a and_o no_o way_n to_o be_v equal_v and_o *_o that_n he_o be_v so_o miraculous_o bear_v of_o a_o virgin_n and_o give_v we_o such_o a_o example_n of_o contemn_v temporal_a thing_n for_o attain_v immortality_n by_o the_o divine_a care_n over_o we_o seem_v well_o to_o deserve_v that_o sovereign_a authority_n to_o be_v the_o master_n of_o the_o world_n but_o concern_v what_o mystery_n thâ—_n word_n make_v flesh_n contain_v in_o it_o i_o have_v not_o then_o the_o
indeed_o dedicate_v to_o thy_o service_n but_o yet_o as_o it_o be_v pant_v after_o and_o somewhat_o relish_v of_o the_o school_n of_o pride_n so_o late_o leave_v be_v witness_v by_o my_o book_n be_v book_n his_o book_n write_v there_o be_v reason_v partly_o with_o those_o who_o be_v present_a before_o i_o and_o partly_o with_o myself_o alone_o before_o thou_o and_o 2._o and_o contra_fw-la academicos_fw-la lib._n 3._o de_fw-fr vitâ_fw-la beatâ_fw-la l._n 1._o de_fw-fr ordine_fw-la l._n 2._o soliloquiorum_fw-la l._n 2._o what_o i_o act_v with_o absent_a nebridius_fw-la be_v testify_v by_o my_o epistle_n o_o when_o shall_v i_o find_v sufficient_a time_n for_o commemoration_n of_o those_o thy_o so_o many_o and_o so_o great_a benefit_n towards_o we_o in_o that_o time_n especial_o i_o hasten_v to_o yet_o great_a matter_n for_o my_o remembrance_n call_v i_o back_o to_o those_o time_n and_o it_o be_v a_o sweet_a thing_n to_o i_o o_o lord_n to_o confess_v now_o unto_o thou_o *_o with_o what_o inward_a rod_n thou_o then_o tame_v i_o and_o *_o in_o what_o manner_n thou_o level_v and_o plain_v i_o humble_v the_o mountain_n and_o bank_n of_o my_o vain_a and_o tower_a thought_n straighten_v my_o crookedness_n and_o smooth_v my_o roughness_n and_o also_o *_o in_o what_o manner_n thou_o subdue_v alipius_n the_o brother_n of_o my_o soul_n to_o that_o bless_a name_n of_o thy_o only_o beget_v n_o son_n jesus_n christ_n our_o lord_n which_o name_n at_o first_o he_o disdain_v to_o have_v insert_v in_o our_o writing_n which_o he_o desire_v may_v rather_o relish_v △_o of_o the_o lofty_a cedar_n of_o the_o philosophy-school_n 29.5_o psa_fw-la 29.5_o which_o the_o lord_n have_v break_v than_o △_o of_o the_o humble_a and_o low_o medicinal_a herb_n of_o ecclesiastical_a knowledge_n salutary_a for_o nourishment_n preservative_n against_o poison_n o_o what_o passionate_a voice_n send_v i_o up_o onto_z thou_o then_o when_o i_o read_v the_o psalm_n of_o david_n those_o faithful_a hymn_n and_o those_o air_n of_o piety_n not_o to_o be_v sing_v by_o any_o swell_a spirit_n then_o when_o i_o be_v but_o yet_o a_o novice_n in_o the_o school_n of_o thy_o love_n and_o only_o catechumenus_fw-la solace_v myself_o in_o that_o villa_n in_o the_o society_n of_o alipius_n a_o catechumenus_fw-la also_o my_o mother_n still_o adhere_v to_o we_o in_o a_o female_a habit_n but_o with_o a_o manly_a faith_n the_o security_n of_o old_a age_n the_o affection_n of_o a_o mother_n the_o piety_n of_o a_o christian_n o_o what_o passionate_a expression_n i_o say_v make_v i_o unto_o thou_o in_o the_o read_n of_o those_o psalm_n and_o how_o much_o be_v i_o inflame_v towards_o thou_o by_o they_o and_o how_o be_v i_o incense_v to_o have_v sing_v and_o proclaim_v they_o if_o i_o can_v all_o the_o world_n over_o to_o the_o confusion_n of_o the_o swell_a and_o pride_n of_o man_n though_o very_o all_o the_o world_n over_o be_v they_o sing_v and_o there_o be_v none_o that_o can_v hide_v himself_o from_o thy_o heat_n with_o what_o bitter_a indignation_n and_o grief_n do_v i_o storm_n against_o the_o manichee_n 19.6_o psa_fw-la 19.6_o and_o then_o again_o pity_v they_o that_o they_o be_v *_o ignorant_a of_o those_o sacrament_n of_o those_o medicine_n and_o *_o mad_a also_o against_o the_o antidote_n from_o which_o they_o may_v have_v receive_v the_o cure_n of_o their_o madness_n how_o do_v i_o wish_v that_o they_o have_v be_v somewhere_o near_o i_o and_o may_v i_o ignorant_a of_o their_o presence_n or_o harken_v have_v *_o observe_n my_o countenance_n and_o *_o herd_n my_o ejaculation_n when_o i_o read_v the_o four_o psalm_n and_o *_o see_v what_o thing_n in_o that_o my_o retirement_n be_v wrought_v on_o i_o by_o this_o psalm_n cum_fw-la invocarem_fw-la when_o i_o call_v upon_o thou_o thou_o hear_v i_o o_o god_n of_o my_o righteousness_n in_o my_o distress_n thou_o have_v enlarge_v i_o have_v mercy_n upon_o i_o o_o lord_n and_o hear_v my_o prayer_n that_o i_o say_v they_o may_v have_v hear_v without_o my_o knowledge_n that_o they_o hear_v lest_o they_o may_v think_v that_o for_o they_o i_o say_v so_o what_o thing_n i_o utter_v on_o those_o word_n for_o indeed_o neither_o shall_v i_o say_v the_o same_o thing_n nor_o in_o such_o manner_n say_v they_o suppose_v they_o to_o have_v see_v or_o overhear_v i_o nor_o if_o i_o shall_v have_v say_v the_o same_o will_v they_o have_v so_o entertain_v they_o as_o when_o i_o say_v they_o only_o with_o and_z to_z myself_o before_o thou_o in_o the_o familiar_a and_o native_a affection_n and_o expression_n of_o my_o mind_n how_o do_v i_o now_o tremble_v with_o fear_n now_o again_o burn_v with_o hope_n and_o with_o exultation_n in_o thy_o mercy_n o_o father_n and_o how_o do_v these_o issue_n forth_o by_o my_o eye_n and_o voice_n my_o tear_n and_o sigh_n when_o thy_o good_a spirit_n turn_v unto_o we_o say_v in_o the_o word_n follow_v o_o you_o son_n of_o man_n how_o long_o dull_a of_o heart_n suum_fw-la psal_n 4.3_o vulgar_a filii_fw-la hominum_fw-la usque_fw-la quo_fw-la gravi_fw-la cord_n scirote_n quoniam_fw-la mirificavit_fw-la dominus_fw-la sanctum_fw-la suum_fw-la how_o long_o will_v you_o love_v vanity_n and_o seek_v after_o a_o lie_n know_v you_o that_o the_o lord_n have_v magnify_v his_o holy_a one_o for_o i_o have_v love_v vanity_n and_o seek_v a_o lie_n and_o thou_o lord_n have_v already_o long_o since_o magnify_v thy_o holy_a one_o raise_v he_o from_o the_o dead_a and_o set_v he_o at_o thy_o right_a hand_n whence_o also_o he_o shall_v send_v from_o on_o high_a his_o promise_a comforter_n the_o spirit_n of_o truth_n and_o he_o have_v also_o send_v he_o already_o but_o i_o know_v it_o not_o he_o have_v send_v he_o already_o because_o he_o be_v already_o magnify_v rise_v from_o the_o dead_a and_o ascend_a into_o heaven_n 7.39_o heaven_n joh._n 7.39_o for_o till_o then_o the_o h._n ghost_n be_v not_o give_v because_o jesus_n be_v not_o yet_o glorify_v and_o for_o these_o thing_n it_o be_v that_o the_o prophet_n cry_v out_o how_o long_o dull_a of_o heart_n how_o long_o love_v you_o vanity_n and_o seek_v a_o lie_n and_o know_v you_o that_o the_o lord_n have_v glorify_v his_o holy_a one_o he_o cry_v out_o how_o long_o he_o cri_fw-la be_v out_o know_v you_o and_o i_o so_o long_o not_o know_v have_v love_v vanity_n and_o seek_v after_o a_o lie_n and_o therefore_o i_o hear_v and_o stand_v in_o awe_n because_o this_o be_v speak_v to_o such_o as_o i_o remember_v i_o have_v be_v for_o in_o those_o phantasm_n which_o i_o have_v hold_v for_o truth_n there_o be_v vanity_n and_o a_o lie_n and_o i_o burst_v forth_o into_o many_o serious_a and_o vehement_a expression_n in_o the_o bitterness_n of_o my_o remembrance_n which_o i_o wish_v they_o may_v have_v hear_v who_o even_o until_o now_o love_v that_o vanity_n and_o seek_v after_o that_o lie_n perhaps_o they_o will_v have_v be_v pain_v and_o have_v empty_v themselves_o of_o that_o poison_n 4._o ver._n 4._o and_o so_o thou_o will_v hear_v they_o when_o they_o cry_v unto_o thou_o for_o not_o in_o a_o vain_a and_o lie_a appearance_n but_o by_o a_o true_a death_n of_o his_o flesh_n he_o die_v for_o we_o who_o now_o intercede_v and_o cry_v unto_o thou_o for_o we_o and_o thou_o hear_v he_o i_o further_o read_v there_o 2.5_o there_o ver_fw-la 5._o irascimini_fw-la &_o nolite_fw-la peccare_fw-la rom_n 2.5_o be_v angry_a and_o sin_n not_o and_o how_o be_v i_o move_v therewith_o o_o my_o god_n who_o have_v already_o learn_v to_o be_v angry_a with_o myself_o for_o my_o past_a sin_n that_o i_o may_v for_o the_o future_a forbear_v sin_v and_o with_o good_a reason_n angry_a because_o it_o be_v not_o any_o other_o nature_n of_o the_o nation_n of_o darkness_n that_o sin_v in_o i_o as_o they_o say_v who_o therefore_o be_v not_o angry_a with_o themselves_o for_o it_o and_o so_o treasure_n up_o anger_n against_o the_o day_n of_o anger_n and_o of_o the_o revelation_n of_o thy_o just_a judgement_n neither_o be_v now_o my_o bona_fw-la my_o allusion_n to_o verse_n 6._o quis_fw-la ostendet_fw-la nobis_fw-la bona_fw-la good_a thing_n as_o they_o place_v abroad_o and_o without_o i_o nor_o seek_v with_o my_o carnal_a eye_n by_o the_o light_n of_o that_o sun_n for_o those_o who_o seek_v their_o joy_n in_o something_o abroad_o do_v easy_o become_v vain_a and_o be_v spill_v upon_o those_o thing_n which_o be_v see_v and_o which_o be_v temporal_a and_o with_o hungersterved_n cogitation_n continue_v still_o lick_v the_o image_n thereof_o and_o oh_o that_o they_o may_v once_o grow_v weary_a of_o and_o loath_a such_o a_o hunger_n and_o say_v quis_fw-la ostendet_fw-la nobis_fw-la bona_fw-la who_o will_v show_v we_o any_o better_a good_a and_o that_o we_o may_v answer_v again_o &_o they_o may_v hearken_v unto_o it_o
misery_n i_o present_o meet_v with_o a_o excuse_n for_o it_o whether_o a_o just_a one_o thou_o know_v o_o lord_n for_o i_o do_v suspect_v it_o for_o because_o that_o thou_o *_o have_v command_v we_o not_o only_a continency_n that_o be_v from_o what_o thing_n we_o be_v to_o withdraw_v our_o love_n but_o also_o justice_n that_o be_v where_o we_o be_v to_o place_v it_o and_z *_o will_v that_o not_o only_a thyself_o but_o also_o our_o neighbour_n be_v love_v by_o we_o i_o often_o seem_v to_o myself_o *_o to_o be_v please_v with_o his_o proficiency_n or_o with_o the_o good_a hope_n i_o have_v thereof_o when_o i_o be_o delight_v with_o the_o commendation_n of_o one_o understanding_n thing_n a_o right_a and_o again_o *_o to_o be_v grieve_v in_o his_o behalf_n when_o i_o hear_v one_o blame_v what_o he_o be_v ignoraat_fw-mi of_o or_o what_o be_v praise_v worthy_a for_o indeed_o i_o find_v myself_o afflict_v also_o with_o my_o own_o praise_n when_o either_o such_o thing_n be_v commend_v in_o i_o wherein_o i_o displease_v myself_o or_o when_o small_a or_o light_a good_a thing_n in_o i_o be_v more_o value_v than_o they_o ought_v but_o yet_o on_o the_o other_o side_n how_o know_v i_o whether_o i_o be_o not_o thus_o affect_v for_o that_o i_o will_v not_o have_v another_o entertain_v a_o opinion_n concering_n i_o or_o concern_v any_o thing_n i_o different_a from_o my_o own_o and_o this_o not_o because_o his_o good_a or_o benefit_n move_v i_o thereto_o but_o because_o those_o good_a thing_n in_o i_o which_o please_v i_o please_v i_o much_o more_o when_o they_o also_o please_v another_o for_o in_o some_o sort_n it_o be_v not_o i_o that_o be_o commend_v when_o my_o judgement_n also_o concern_v myself_o be_v not_o commend_v as_o when_o those_o thing_n in_o i_o be_v commend_v which_o dislike_v i_o or_o those_o thing_n more_o commend_v which_o less_o like_v i_o be_o i_o not_o therefore_o in_o this_o ignorant_a of_o myself_o in_o thou_o o_o truth_n i_o see_v and_o learn_v that_o not_o for_o my_o own_o sake_n but_o for_o my_o neighbour_n good_a i_o ought_v to_o take_v content_a in_o my_o praise_n but_o whether_o indeed_o it_o be_v so_o i_o be_o ignorant_a and_o less_o do_v i_o know_v of_o myself_o than_o of_o thou_o in_o this_o matter_n therefore_o i_o beseech_v thou_o o_o my_o god_n reveal_v thou_o myself_o unto_o i_o that_o i_o may_v confess_v my_o discover_a wound_n unto_o my_o brethren_n who_o may_v pray_v to_o thou_o for_o i_o let_v i_o yet_o more_o diligent_o question_v myself_o in_o this_o matter_n if_o it_o be_v in_o respect_n of_o my_o neighbour_n benefit_n only_o that_o i_o be_o so_o touch_v with_o my_o own_o praise_n why_o then_o be_o i_o less_o move_v in_o the_o injurious_a disparagement_n of_o another_o than_o if_o it_o be_v of_o myself_o and_o why_o be_o i_o much_o more_o nettle_v with_o a_o contumely_n throw_v upon_o myself_o than_o when_o it_o be_v so_o upon_o another_o in_o my_o presence_n with_o the_o same_o injustice_n 141.5_o psal_n 141.5_o can_v i_o also_o plead_v my_o ignorance_n and_o uncertainty_n for_o this_o or_o shall_v i_o endeavour_v here_o also_o to_o delude_v myself_o and_o nor_o confess_v the_o truth_n before_o thou_o both_o in_o heart_n and_o tongue_n lord_n such_o a_o folly_n put_v thou_o far_o from_o i_o and_o let_v not_o my_o own_o mouth_n go_v about_o to_o anoint_v and_o perfume_v my_o head_n with_o the_o flatter_a oil_n of_o sinner_n i_o be_o poor_a and_o needy_a and_o the_o best_a when_o with_o secret_a lament_n displease_v myself_o and_o invocate_a thy_o mercy_n until_o these_o my_o deficiency_n be_v repair_v and_o perfect_v into_o a_o full_a repose_n and_o peace_n a_o peace_n hide_v from_o the_o eye_n of_o the_o arrogant_a and_o self-conceited_a chap._n xxxviii_o â–³_o incur_v also_o from_o the_o contemn_v of_o praise_n as_o this_o also_o be_v a_o thing_n praiseworthy_a chief_z speech_n that_o be_v eloquent_a and_o good_a action_n that_o be_v public_a and_o eminent_a cause_n in_o we_o a_o most_o perilous_a temptation_n from_o this_o our_o love_n of_o praise_n which_o subtlety_n assay_v to_o procure_v the_o applause_n of_o other_o to_o the_o advance_n of_o my_o own_o private_a excellency_n even_o then_o also_o when_o such_o love_n of_o praise_n in_o i_o be_v censure_v by_o i_o and_o for_o that_o very_a reason_n because_o it_o be_v so_o censure_v and_o often_o do_v a_o man_n more_o vain_o glory_n of_o the_o very_a contempt_n of_o vainglory_n and_o therefore_o now_o in_o truth_n the_o contempt_n of_o vainglory_n be_v not_o gloryed-of_a by_o he_o for_o he_o utter_o contemn_v it_o not_o so_o long_o as_o within_o himself_o he_o retein_v still_o some_o glory_v chap._n thirty-nine_o incur_v also_o from_o self-love_n and_o self-conceit_n without_o regard_n to_o praise_v from_o other_o there_o be_v yet_o within_o we_o another_o disease_n in_o the_o same_o kind_n of_o temptation_n namely_o a_o vanity_n in_o man_n of_o self_n love_v and_o pleaâ—â—ng_v themselves_o in_o themselves_o *_o whether_o it_o happen_v that_o they_o please_v or_o that_o they_o displease_v abroad_o and*_n wherein_o they_o affect_v not_o the_o please_a of_o other_o but_o these_o man_n whilst_o thus_o please_v themselves_o much_o do_v they_o displease_v thou_o not_o only_o in_o glory_v in_o some_o thing_n not_o good_a as_o in_o good_a but_o also_o in_o thy_o good_a thing_n as_o if_o in_o their_o own_o or_o also_o in_o glory_v in_o they_o as_o thou_o but_o as_o confer_v on_o they_o for_o some_o merit_n of_o their_o own_o or_o also_o as_o in_o thou_o without_o any_o their_o merit_v but_o yet_o not_o sociable_o joy_v in_o they_o but_o as_o envy_v the_o same_o grace_n of_o thou_o to_o other_o in_o all_o these_o and_o the_o like_a peril_n and_o travel_n thou_o see_v the_o fear_n and_o tremble_n of_o my_o heart_n and_o i_o rather_o perceive_v such_o wound_n to_o be_v by_o thou_o continual_o cure_v within_o i_o than_o not_o to_o be_v at_o all_o receive_v chap._n xl._n a_o recapitulation_n of_o the_o thing_n former_o speak_v in_o this_o book_n s._n augustine_n sometime_o extraordinary_a transportment_n in_o the_o contemplation_n and_o love_n of_o god_n o_o truth_n where_o have_v not_o thou_o walk_v along_o with_o i_o and_o be_v instruct_v i_o what_o i_o shall_v avoid_v and_o what_o affect_v when_o i_o recount_v unto_o thou_o my_o mental_a discovery_n such_o as_o i_o be_v able_a to_o make_v and_o consult_v thou_o concern_v they_o i_o surveigh_v the_o world_n abroad_o with_o the_o sense_n serve_v i_o for_o that_o purpose_n and_o after_o this_o i_o reflect_v *_o upon_o the_o vegetable_a life_n of_o my_o own_o body_n and_o *_o upon_o those_o my_o sense_n from_o hence_o i_o enter_v further_o into_o the_o inner_a chamber_n of_o my_o memory_n those_o manifold_a capacity_n fill_v with_o a_o innumerable_a store_n of_o wonderful_a thing_n i_o consider_v they_o and_o remain_v amaze_v at_o they_o and_o none_o of_o they_o can_v i_o discern_v without_o thou_o and_o yet_o i_o find_v none_o of_o they_o to_o be_v thou_o neither_o yet_o be_v it_o thou_o i_o the_o discoverer_n himself_o who_o travel_v over_o all_o these_o and_o endeavour_v to_o distinguish_v and_o value_v each_o one_o according_a to_o their_o several_a dignity_n *_o receive_n some_o from_o the_o message_n of_o my_o sense_n *_o question_v about_o other_o more_o intimate_a and_o not_o usher_v in_o by_o they_o whence_o they_o be_v and_z *_o number_n the_o several_a messenger_n whence_o i_o receive_v they_o and_o then_o after_o thus_o have_v display_v in_o my_o memory_n all_o its_o treasure_n *_o handle_n and_o examine_v some_o part_n *_o laying-up-again_a other_o examine_v and_o *_o drawing-out_a other_o to_o be_v peruse_v neither_o i_o say_v be_v i_o myself_o who_o wrought_v all_o this_o that_o be_v my_o faculty_n by_o which_o i_o wrought_v it_o neither_o be_v this_o thou_o my_o lord_n for_o thou_o be_v a_o light_n always_o permanent_a and_o immutable_a which_o light_n i_o still_o consult_v concern_v all_o these_o whether_o and_o what_o and_o of_o what_o worth_n they_o be_v and_o i_o listen_v unto_o its_o instruct_v i_o and_o command_v i_o and_o this_o i_o still_o continue_v to_o consult_v this_o be_v my_o great_a delight_n and_o so_o often_o as_o i_o can_v be_v release_v from_o other_o necessary_a affair_n i_o repair_v to_o this_o pleasure_n neither_o find_v i_o in_o all_o these_o thing_n which_o i_o run_v through_o and_o wherein_o i_o consult_v thou_o any_o place_n of_o settlement_n for_o my_o soul_n save_v only_o in_o thou_o whither_o all_o my_o dissipation_n final_o may_v be_v recollect_v and_o from_o whence_o nothing_o of_o i_o may_v eyer_n again_o be_v stray_v and_o sometime_o thou_o do_v admit_v i_o *_o into_o a_o affection_n very_o unusual_a within_o the_o
innermost_a part_n of_o my_o soul_n and_o *_o to_n i_o know_v not_o what_o sweetness_n which_o be_v it_o once_o perfect_v in_o i_o i_o know_v not_o what_o bliss_n that_o be_v which_o such_o a_o life_n will_v not_o enjoy_v but_o then_o with_o certain_a cumbersome_a weight_n hang_v upon_o i_o i_o present_o be_o press_v down_o again_o to_o these_o thing_n below_o and_o be_o re-ingulfed_n and_o detain_v by_o former_a custom_n and_o much_o i_o bewail_v myself_o and_o yet_o much_o still_o i_o be_o detain_v so_o great_o have_v the_o burden_n of_o a_o bad_a custom_n overload_v i_o and_o in_o this_o estate_n i_o can_v abide_v still_o but_o will_v not_o and_o in_o the_o other_o i_o will_v willing_o abide_v but_o can_v both_o way_n very_o miserable_a chap._n xli_o and_o in_o this_o condition_n i_o proceed_v to_o consider_v the_o remain_a languor_n of_o my_o sin_n in_o a_o threefold_a concupiscence_n and_o have_v invoke_v the_o help_n of_o thy_o right_a hand_n to_o deliver_v i_o for_o i_o behold_v thy_o brightness_n with_o a_o sick_a and_o wound_a spirit_n and_o beat_v back_o and_o dazzle_v by_o it_o i_o say_v who_o can_v ever_o attain_v thither_o i_o be_o utter_o cast_v away_o from_o the_o sight_n of_o thy_o eye_n thou_o be_v the_o truth_n who_o preside_v above_o all_o thing_n and_o i_o out_o of_o my_o covetousness_n be_v not_o willing_a to_o loose_v thou_o but_o yet_o greedy_o desire_v also_o to_o possess_v what_o be_v a_o lie_n together_o with_o thou_o as_o no_o man_n desire_v so_o to_o speak_v lie_n as_o to_o be_v ignorant_a what_o be_v truth_n and_o therefore_o i_o lose_v thou_o because_o thou_o vouchsafe_v not_o to_o be_v enjoy_v together_o with_o a_o lie_n chap._n xlii_o his_o recourse_n for_o a_o remedy_n to_o all_o these_o his_o malady_n not_o *_o to_o evil_a angel_n or_o demon_n with_o the_o platonist_n or_o other_o practise_v evil_a art_n as_o mediator_n between_o god_n and_o man_n because_o sinner_n like_o man_n spirit_n like_o god_n and_o now_o who_o can_v i_o find_v who_o may_v reconcile_v and_o reduce_v i_o unto_o thou_o be_v that_o office_n to_o be_v undertake_v by_o some_o angel_n for_o i_o upon_o what_o devotion_n upon_o what_o sacrament_n perform_v unto_o he_o many_o endeavour_v to_o return_v unto_o thou_o and_o of_o themselves_o unable_a as_o i_o hear_v have_v attempt_v such_o way_n and_o fall_v into_o the_o desire_n of_o curious_a vision_n and_o so_o deserve_v to_o be_v expose_v to_o many_o delusion_n for_o be_v high-minded_a they_o seek_v thou_o with_o the_o pride_n of_o learning_n exalt_v rather_o than_o beat_v their_o swell_a breast_n and_o so_o have_v allure_v unto_o rhem_n from_o the_o likeness_n of_o their_o affection_n spirit_n associate_v with_o they_o in_o pride_n 2._o eph._n 2_o 2._o the_o power_n of_o this_o air_n by_o who_o through_o magical_a operation_n they_o may_v be_v deceive_v whilst_o they_o be_v seek_v a_o mediator_n by_o who_o they_o may_v be_v purge_v but_o it_o be_v none_o such_o they_o light_v on_o 14_o 2_o cor._n 11_o 14_o but_o the_o devil_n it_o be_v transform_v himself_o as_o a_o angel_n of_o light_n and_o this_o much_o allure_v proud_a flesh_n to_o repair_v unto_o he_o because_o he_o have_v no_o body_n of_o flesh_n for_o they_o be_v mortal_n and_o sinner_n and_o thou_o o_o lord_n with_o who_o they_o seek_v reconciliation_n be_v sinless_a and_o immmortal_a now_o the_o mediate_a person_n between_o god_n and_o man_n it_o be_v meet_v he_o shall_v have_v something_o like_a to_o god_n something_o like_o to_o man_n lest_z in_o both_o like_a to_o man_n he_o shall_v be_v at_o too_o great_a a_o distance_n from_o god_n or_o in_o both_o like_a to_o god_n he_o shall_v stand_v too_o remote_a from_o man_n therefore_o also_o this_o counterfeit_a mediator_n by_o who_o according_a to_o thy_o secret_a judgement_n our_o pride_n deserve_v to_o be_v delude_v have_v one_o thing_n common_a with_o man_n that_o be_v sin_n and_o will_v seem_v to_o have_v the_o other_o thing_n common_a with_o god_n whilst_o not_o clothe_v with_o the_o mortality_n of_o flesh_n he_o vaunt_v himself_o as_o immortal_a 6.23_o rom._n 6.23_o but_o since_o the_o certain_a wage_n of_o sin_n be_v death_n and_o this_o sin_n he_o have_v common_a with_o man_n he_o have_v also_o that_o common_a with_o man_n to_o be_v sentence_v unto_o death_n chap._n xliii_o but_o *_o to_o christ_n who_o be_v the_o only_a true_a mediator_n mortal_a like_o man_n righteous_a like_o god_n through_o who_o else_o desperate_a he_o confident_o hope_v a_o perfect_a cure_n of_o all_o his_o disease_n but_o the_o true_a mediator_n who_o in_o thy_o secret_a mercy_n thou_o have_v manifest_v to_o the_o humble_a and_o haste_v also_o send_v he_o among_o they_o 2.5_o 1._o tim._n 2.5_o that_o they_o may_v by_o his_o example_n learn_v humility_n that_o mediator_n of_o god_n and_o man_n the_o man_n christ_n jesus_n between_o these_o mortal_a sinner_n and_o the_o immortal_a righteous_a one_o have_v appear_v mortal_a together_o with_o man_n righteous_a together_o with_o god_n that_o because_o the_o wage_n of_o righteousness_n be_v life_n and_o peace_n he_o by_o his_o righteousness_n which_o be_v ally_v to_o god_n may_v evacuate_v death_n to_o justify_v sinner_n which_o death_n he_o be_v please_v to_o have_v common_a with_o man_n and_o this_o true_a mediator_n be_v also_o make_v know_v to_o the_o saint_n of_o old_a that_o they_o by_o the_o faith_n of_o his_o passion_n to_o come_v as_o we_o by_o the_o faith_n of_o it_o past_a may_v attain_v salvation_n and_o it_o be_v as_o he_o be_v man_n that_o he_o be_v mediator_n but_o as_o he_o be_v the_o word_n so_o he_o be_v no_o middling_a person_n because_o equal_a to_o god_n and_o god_n with_o god_n and_o 1.1_o phil._n 2.6_o joh._n 1.1_o together_o with_o the_o holy_a spirit_n one_o god_n how_o far_o have_v thou_o love_v we_o o_o thou_o good_a father_n who_o sparedst_v not_o thy_o only_a son_n but_o deliver_v he_o up_o for_o we_o ungodly_a how_o far_o have_v thou_o love_v we_o for_o who_o he_o 8._o rom._n 8.52_o phil._n 2.6_o 8._o who_o think_v it_o no_o robbery_n to_o be_v equal_a to_o thou_o be_v make_v subject_a even_o to_o death_n even_o to_o the_o death_n of_o the_o cross_n only_o he_o free_a among_o the_o dead_a have_v power_n to_o lay_v down_o his_o life_n 10.18_o john_n 10.18_o and_o power_n likewise_o to_o take_v it_o up_o again_o become_v unto_o thou_o for_o we_o both_o a_o victor_n and_o a_o victim_n and_o therefore_o a_o victor_n because_o he_o have_v be_v a_o victim_n become_v unto_o thou_o for_o we_o both_o the_o priest_n and_o the_o sacrifice_n and_o therefore_o the_o priest_n because_o a_o sacrifice_n make_v we_o unto_o thou_o of_o servant_n son_n by_o be_v bear_v thy_o son_n and_o become_v our_o servant_n and_o therefore_o do_v i_o just_o repose_v strong_a hope_n in_o he_o that_o thou_o will_v heal_v all_o my_o disease_n by_o he_o who_o sit_v at_o thy_o right_a hand_n and_o intercede_v unto_o thou_o for_o we_o else_o shall_v i_o despair_v for_o many_o and_o great_a be_v these_o my_o disease_n many_o and_o great_a they_o be_v but_o great_a be_v the_o cure_n which_o thou_o have_v provide_v and_o well_o may_v we_o have_v imagine_v thy_o word_n to_o have_v be_v too_o remote_a from_o have_v any_o alliance_n with_o we_o and_o so_o have_v despair_v of_o ourselves_o have_v it_o not_o thus_o be_v make_v flesh_n and_o dwell_v among_o we_o affright_v with_o these_o my_o sin_n and_o with_o the_o load_n of_o my_o misery_n i_o have_v once_o a_o thought_n and_o a_o design_n of_o retire_v myself_o into_o some_o desert_n solitude_n but_o thou_o do_v prohibit_v it_o unto_o i_o and_o confirm_v i_o say_v that_o therefore_o christ_n die_v for_o all_o 5.15_o 2_o cor._n 5.15_o that_o they_o who_o live_v shall_v not_o henceforth_o live_v unto_o themselves_o but_o unto_o he_o who_o die_v for_o they_o behold_v o_o lord_n i_o cast_v all_o my_o care_n upon_o thou_o let_v i_o live_v and_o i_o will_v consider_v the_o wonderful_a thing_n of_o thy_o law_n 119.18_o psal_n 119.18_o thou_o know_v my_o ignorance_n my_o infirmity_n teach_v i_o heal_n i_o he_o thy_o only_a one_o in_o who_o be_v hide_v all_o the_o treasure_n of_o wisdom_n and_o knowledge_n redeem_v i_o with_o his_o own_o blood_n let_v not_o the_o proud_a my_o spiritual_a enemy_n false_o accuse_v i_o for_o i_o meditate_v on_o this_o my_o ransom_n 2.3_o col._n 2.3_o and_o i_o eat_v it_o and_o drink_v it_o and_o communicate_v it_o to_o other_o and_o be_v poor_a i_o desire_v to_o be_v satisfy_v therewith_o among_o those_o who_o eat_v and_o be_v satisfy_v and_o they_o shall_v praise_v the_o lord_n that_o seek_v he_o chap._n xliv_o the_o end_n and_o purpose_n of_o these_o his_o confession_n o_o lord_n since_o thou_o be_v eternal_o be_v thou_o ignorant_a o_o these_o thing_n i_o now_o say_v unto_o thou_o or_o see_v thou_o no_o till_o a_o certain_a time_n what_o be_v do_v in_o time_n why_o then_o have_v i_o order_v a_o narration_n of_o so_o many_o several_a matter_n unto_o thou_o sure_o not_o that_o thou_o shall_v learn_v such_o thing_n from_o i_o but_o only_o that_o i_o may_v the_o more_o excite_v my_o affection_n and_o love_n towards_o thou_o and_o they_o also_o who_o reaâ—_n these_o thing_n that_o we_o may_v all_o say_v together_o magnus_fw-la dominus_fw-la &_o lauâ—abilis_fw-la valde_fw-la great_a be_v the_o lord_n and_o great_o to_o be_v praise_v i_o have_v already_o say_v it_o and_o let_v i_o say_v it_o again_o out_o of_o my_o love_n of_o thy_o love_n to_o i_o it_o be_v that_o i_o do_v this_o as_o also_o we_o continue_v to_o pray_v nevertheless_o that_o the_o truth_n have_v say_v your_o heavenly_a father_n know_v what_o thing_n that_o have_v need_n of_o before_o you_o ask_v he_o 6.8_o mat._n 6.8_o we_o only_o publish_v the_o affection_n we_o have_v towards_o thou_o while_o we_o confess_v to_o theâ—_n our_o misery_n and_o thy_o mercy_n that_o thou_o may_v complete_v our_o freedom_n as_o thou_o have_v already_o begin_v it_o and_o that_o a_o length_n we_o may_v perfect_o cease_v to_o be_v miserable_a in_o ourselves_o and_o may_v arrive_v to_o beatitude_n in_o thou_o because_o thoâ—_n have_v gracious_o call_v we_o that_o we_o shall_v be_v poor_a in_o spirit_n and_o meek_a and_o mournful_a and_o hungry_a and_o thirsty_a after_o righteousness_n and_o merciful_a and_o pure_a in_o heart_n and_o peace_n maker_n see_v i_o have_v rehearse_v before_o thou_o a_o many_o thing_n such_o as_o i_o have_v ability_n and_o such_o as_o i_o have_v also_o a_o will_n to_o relate_v because_o thou_o first_o have_v so_o will_v that_o i_o shall_v confess_v unto_o thou_o 118.1_o psal_n 118.1_o the_o lord_n my_o god_n because_o that_o thou_o arâ—_n good_a and_o thy_o mercy_n endure_v for_o ever_o finis_fw-la