to be spiritually worshipped and he accepts of no other Worship but what is the Worship of his own Spirit in man done from a principle of love to God And whatsoever Worship man in his will sets up because he would escape the Justice and Judgments of God for his sins is no Worship acceptable to God And this I do know that when men are in this Worship set up in their own wills to escape the punishment of God for their sins they say in their hearts as Jeroboam said outwardly of his Calves Behold thy gods that brought thee out of Egypt Behold this Worship that I in my will have set up or taken up to keep me from the apprehensions of Gods Justice and Judgments to me it hath delivered me it hath brought me out from that slavery and bondage that I was in under the apprehensions of the making known of Gods wrath Gods Justice and Judgments to me for my sins And now they set up an Altar to these the Calves that they have made that is their own outward obedience done in their own wills for their own ends and upon this Altar they offer their Sacrifices they offer their outward performances of their outward religious duties or their outward service in the worship of their Calves in worshipping and bowing down to that outward form of Worship that in their wills they have set up thereby to escape Gods Justice and Judgments that they apprehend to be due to them for their sins And although for a time they may hereby patch up a peace to themselves yet it is no more lasting to them than Adam's Aprons made of Fig-leaves were lasting to him for as soon as he heard Gods voice walking in the garden although in the cool of the day he was afraid and hid himself And so it will be with them as soon as they hear the voice of God speaking in the garden in their hearts saying Adam where art thou Man where art thou Art thou worshipping me in my Spirit in my Truth in my Jesus that saves thee from sin and that not onely from the outward actions of sin but from the love and desire to sin Man where art thou art thou in this Worship or art thou in a Worship set up in thy own will to escape the punishment that is due to thee for thy sins and yet in thy heart thou love and delight in sin as much as ever thou didst Man where art thou And when this day comes as that it will certainly come then their outward form of Worship set up in their own wills for their own ends to escape the apprehensions of Gods Justice and Judgments to them for their sins will do them no more good than Adam's Aprons of Fig-leaves covered his nakedness and hid him from Gods Justice for his sin but they will be as open and lie as naked to the manifestations of Gods Justice and Judgments to them for their sins as if they had never had any outward form of Worship I having had experience how subtilly the Serpent works twisting and turning himself about in the heart of man the garden of God in man upon the Tree of knowledge and when he sees he cannot keep man from being in some outward form of Worship and thereby be kept from running into outward sins and evils as once he had done whereby the manifestations and making known of Gods Justice and Judgments seize so upon man for his sins as that man knew not how to bear it then the Serpent willingly let man in his will to set upon an outward form of Worship thereby to take off the fierceness of the manifestation and making known of Gods Justice and Judgments that he once lay under for sin And the subtile Serpent cares not what outward form of Worship it is that man in his will will set up to worship in so that he can but keep alive in him the love to those sins that he outwardly leaves and forsakes And because he is afraid of Gods Justice for the committing of those sins man may make the outside as clear as he will as did the Pharisees if the inside be but foul if the love do but still remain to the sins or to any one sin the Serpent rather than he will wholly lose his Kingdom he will content himself if he can but rule and raign in the inward love to sin although it be but to one dearly beloved sin I also knowing the readiness and the proneness that is in man to yield to the subtilty of the Serpent and for his own ends for his own preservation to be kept from being killed or slain by the Justice of God as it was with Jeroboam when he set up his Calves which he did for his own preservation to be kept from being killed 1 Kings 12. 27. Man to be preserved and kept from the Justice and Judgments of God for sin he sets up and sets upon an outward form of Worship and such an outward form of Worship as that he thinks that God will be best pleased in And in this Worship he sets up his Altar of outward self-obedience to God and upon this Altar he offers his Sacrifice of an outward observance and that very strictly too of all and every of those things that are outwardly required or desired in that outward form of Worship that in his will he sets or takes up And in this his offering of his Sacrifice of a strict and devout observing and fulfilling of all and every of those things that are outwardly required and desired in that outward form of Worship which in his will he sets up and upon the Altar set up by him of his outward self-obedience to God In this man satisfies pleases and contents himself as Jeroboam did with his Calves instead of the true Worship of God which is to worship him in his Spirit and in his Truth in his Jesus in that which saves from sin and that not onely from the outward actions of sin for fear of the punishment but this Worship of God that is done in Spirit and in his Truth in his Jesus in that which saves from sin there is in this Worship a knowing of a being saved from the love to sin as well as a being saved from the outward actions of sin I say I knowing and having experienced how man thus by the subtilty of the Serpent is ready to set up a Worship to himself as Jeroboam did instead of the true Worship of God and upon the Altar set up by himself of self-obedience to God and there upon that Altar to offer his Sacrifices of a strict and devout doing and performing of all and every the outward things that is required or desired in that outward form of Worship and thereby and therein to please satisfie and content themselves as if they were worshipping God in his Spirit and in his Truth in his Jesus that does not onely save from the outward acts of sin but saves
there was of all the Tribes of the Children of Israel a hundred forty and four thousand sealed of them to be the Servants of God because he heard it that there was so many sealed and why he might not question the truth of it it was because they were looked upon to be the people of God and had the Oracles of God and to them pertained the Adoption and the Glory and the Covenants and the giving of the Law and the service of God and the Promises and the Fathers were there and they were them of whom Christ came in the flesh and therefore there was no cause for him to question the truth of that although he did but hear of it But as to the great multitude which no man could number and they not of the Tribes of Israel but of all Nations and Kinâ—eds and People and Tongues if John should onely have heard of this great multitude of all sorts and Kinreds of the Gentiles that the Israelites called and counted Heathen such as knew not God such as the Apostles themselves after they had known the Resurrection of Jesus questioned whether they might preach Jesus to them to hear of such a great multitude of them that no man could number to stand before the Throne and before the Lamb cloathed with white Robes and Palms in their hands and crying with a loud voice saying Salvation to our God which sitteth upon the Throne and unto the Lamb coming out of great tribulations and having washed their Robes and made them white with the Blood of the Lamb and heard of but so few of all the Tribes of Israel to be sealed as the servants of God If John had onely heard of this great multitude might he not have had cause to question the truth of it or would he not being one of the number of the Tribes of Israel have questioned the truth of it as the Tribes of the several outward forms of worshipping God do at this day but that John might certainly know the truth of it God was pleased to let him behold with his eyes John being in the spirit he saw and beheld this great multitude although with a kind of admiration that no man could number of all Nations Kinreds People and Tongues which were arayed in white Robes and made them white with the Bloud of the Lamb This cannot be meant outward Robes washed in outward Lambs blood for that will rather make them red than white but the Lamb is Jesus his Innocency is that which is compared to the Lamb and the Blood is the Life so that the washing in the Blood is the washing in the innocent Life of Jesus and in this they had made their Robes white White is that which betokeneth Innocency white is the sign or badge of Innocency and this was that they were clothen withal as with a Robe or Garment that is those great multitudes of all Nations and Kinreds and People and Tongues which stood before the Throne and before the Lamb in their white Robes of Innocency washed in the Bloud the Life of the Lambs Innocency with Palms in their hands holding forth Praises to God crying with a loud voice Salvation to our God They cryed aloud setting forth Gods praise That it was he and he onely that saved them and caused them to wash their Robes in the Blood of the Lamb that cloathed them with Innocency as with a Robe and that was by the innocent life of the Lamb in them the life of Jesus in them which had John onely heard of and not seen it may it not be questioned whether or no he would have believed it as those do now who onely hear of it as they hear it read in the Scriptures but they are not in the spirit as John was to see it Let them know that Jesus is the true light that lighteth every man that cometh into the world and he is the tree of Life and in some measure degree or other as he is the true light and lighteth them so he gives unto them some knowledge of Gods will what they should do and what they should not do God does not reap where he did not sow nor gather where he hath not strewed as the slothful servant who had not improved his Talent but hid it in the Earth charge God falsely therein The sower sowes the word the word is the seed Mark 4. all men are comprehended to be in one or the other of the four parts of ground the seed which is the word is God John 1. In him was life and the life was the light of men that was the true light that lighteth every man that cometh into the world God as his Word is in every man that cometh into the world they were all made by him made by his word and without him there was not any thing made in him was life and the life was the light of men the tree of life that was in Adam was the life of God in him that was Jesus that was the light in him that told him what was Gods will that he should do and what was Gods will that he should not do and this remains as a tree in all Adams Posterity although the appearance thereof is more in some than it is in other some yet there is something of the light in every man that convinceth him of an evil and makes known a good to him and this did remain in Adam after he had eaten of the forbidden fruit opening his eyes shewing him his nakedness that by his disobedience he had shipped himself out of that white Robe of Innocency that God had clothed him with as he had made him in his Image man seeing himself naked and without that clothing that God had made him in it made known to him the good that he had lost by his disobedience and it shews also to man the justice of God for his disobedience which made him afraid of God and by his being afraid of Gods justice it made known to him the evil that he had committed by eating of the forbidden fruit And this tree of life as the true light that lighteth every man that cometh into the world doth still continue in Adams Posterity see Rom. 2. 14 15. For when the Gentiles which have not the Law do by nature the things contained in the Law these having not the Law are a Law to themselves which shew the works of the Law written in their hearts their consciences also bearing them witness and their thoughts in the mean while accusing or else excusing one another Mark when the Gentiles which have not the Law that is they have not the written Law of God written without them do by nature the things contained in the Law by what nature do they do the things contained in the Law it cannot be by the fallen Nature that is the Serpents Nature the Serpents Nature is that which breaketh the Law of God and therefore that Nature cannot do the
what Jesus the Light made known to him to be Gods will to obey him in And Jesus tells the Jews that if they were Abraham's Children they would do the works of Abraham that is yield obedience to God in what Jesus as a Light in them tells them the Truth is Gods will that they should obey him in And while men are out of this obedience let them be of what outward form of worshipping of God that they will and have never so high esteem of themselves and be as highly esteemed of by others as these Jews had yet they are Children of Wrath as well as others and so in that state as Children of Wrath they are cast out of the Kingdom of Heaven and are where their Father the Devil is Oh! but infinite infinite are the mercies of that unchangeable God as I have experienced who can say in some measure with Paul Ephes 2. who wherein in times past walked according to the course of this world according to the prince of the power of the air the spirit that worketh in the children of disobedience Among whom also we had our conversation in time past in the lust of our flesh fulfilling the desires of the flesh and of the mind and were by nature the children of wrath even as others Mark Among whom that is amongst those that had walked according to the course of this world according to the power of the Prince of the Air which is the Devil that worketh in the Children of disobedience among these we had our conversation in times past fulfilling the desires of our flesh and of the mind and were by nature Children of wrath even as others Although the Ephesians as they were Gentiles might not be in an outward form of worshipping God in those outward things that God had required to be worshipped in yet Paul was and of the highest sort or form of them as elsewhere he speaks of himself And yet see how Paul put himself to be equal with them that had been in no outward form of Worship although he himself had been high in that outward form of worshipping of God in those outward things that God had required to be worshipped in yet when he was in that height of outward Worship he owned himself to be one that walked according to the course of the world and according to the power of the Prince of the Air which is the Devil the Spirit which worketh in the Children of disobedience Among whom we had also our conversation Paul with the Ephesians had their conversations in time past in the lust of their flesh fulfilling the desires of their flesh and mind and were by nature Children of Wrath even as others Mark they were not onely Children of Wrath by nature that is by the nature of the Serpent who is the Prince of the Air who is the Devil who is the Spirit that worketh in the Children of disobedience but they were the Children of Wrath even as others that is just even alike there was no difference between their being Children of Wrath by nature and others being Children of Wrath by nature There is the same nature of being Children of Wrath in those that are high in an outward form of worshipping God as was Paul who as to his outward life as to men lived blameless and those that were in no outward form of worshipping God as were the Gentiles while they both have their conversations in the lust of the flesh fulfilling the desires of the mind pleasing themselves in what they do if they be in an outward form of Worship they please content and satisfie themselves in that outward form of Worship and therein they are fulfilling the lust of the flesh and the desires of their minds in eating of the forbidden Fruit as do those that were in no outward form of worshipping God as were the Gentiles who fulfilled the lust of the flesh and the desires of their minds in outward pleasures And so both those that fulfil the lust of the flesh and desire of the mind in outward forms of Worship or in outward pleasure they are those that are not suffering Jesus's Word to have any place in them and so they are seeking to kill Jesus in themselves for telling them the truth that he had of God But God who is rich in mercy for the great love wherewith he loved us even when we were dead in sins hath quickned us together with Christ by grace we are saved and have raised us up together and have made us sit together in heavenly places in Christ Jesus Mark they which having their Conversations in the lust of the flesh fulfilling the desires of the flesh and mind and thereby were by nature Children of Disobedience and so Children of Wrath Children of the Devil both those that were not in an outward form of worshipping of God as were these Gentiles the Ephesians and those that were in the highest of outward forms of worshipping of God as was Paul yet God who is rich in mercy can and does for his great love sake wherewith he loved them yea even when they are dead in sins quicken them together with Christ and so raise them up together as to make them sit together in heavenly places in Christ Jesus as you may see more to that purpose in the second Chapter of the Ephesians Jesus tells the woman of Samaria John 4. that the hour cometh when ye shall neither in this mountain nor yet at Jerusalem worship the Father But the hour cometh and now is when the true worshippers shall worship the Father in spirit and in truth for the Father seeketh such to worship him God is a spirit and they that worship him must worship him in spirit and in truth Jerusalem was the place that God had chosen to be worshipped in and so it represents the true outward form of worshipping God wherein God was worshipped according to his Command The Mountain of Samaria represents the false worshipping of God for although there might be something done there that God had required in his outward Worship to be done yet they mixing other things with it that God had not required to be done in his Worship and so it represents all false outward forms of Worship And Jesus tells the woman and would have her believe him mark that Jesus would have the woman belleve him that the hour cometh when neither in this mountain that is in the false outward forms of Worship nor at Jerusalem that is the true outward forms of Worship they should worship the Father But the hour cometh and now is mark that now is then at that time it was that the true worshippers shall worship the Father in spirit and in truth and that because the Father seeketh such to worship him God being a spirit they that worship him must worship him in spirit and in truth or else it is no worshipping of him where the Spirit and the Truth is wanting because whom God seeketh
to worship him they and they onely are the acceptable Worshippers of God and God seeketh for those and onely those to worship him that worship him in spirit and truth It is not the outward places nor the outward form no not at Jerusalem nor the outward Worship commanded to be used there that God seeketh for it is the spiritual Worship done in the truth and in the sincerity of the heart that God seeketh for it is that and that onely that is well-pleasing to him which the outward forms of worshipping is not although never so exactly performed according to the Command of God yet if the Spirit of God which leads and guides into all truth be wanting the outward form is not acceptable to God nor sought for of God nor desired of God And where the Spirit of God is and is the Guide and Leader of them in his Worship although the outward form be wanting yet these are the true Worshippers of God and these are those that God seeketh for to worship him that is those that worship him in his Spirit and in his Truth that is in Jesus and all those that so worship him in the use of outward forms or without the use of outward forms Of all Nations and Kinreds and People and Tongues that worship him in his Spirit and in his Truth in Jesus which saves from sin by which Spirit they are guided and led thereunto to do it in the truth and sincerity of their hearts these are such as God seeketh for to worship him and are acceptable to God And of these John beheld the great multitude that no man could number standing before the Throne and before the Lamb clothed with white Robes and Palms in their hands crying with a loud voice saying Salvation to our God which came out of great tribulations having washed their robes and made them white in the bloud of the Lamb. And John did but hear of a hundred forty and four thousand of all the Tribes of Israel to be sealed for the servants of God And those were they that were in the outward form of Worship which had the Commandments writ in Tables of stone and had the Law and the Prophets written in Books without them and read among them without them every Sabbath-day And had the Oracles of God committed to them and to whom pertain the adoption and the glory and the covenants and the giving of the law and the service of God and the promises Whose are the Fathers and of whom concerning the flesh Christ came And yet of all the Tribes of the outward Israel there was but a hundred forty four thousand sealed for the servants of God I take notice and so I desire the Reader to take notice that the Tribe of Dan was left out there was none sealed of that Tribe that was a Serpent by the way to be the servants of God none of the subtile Serpents Tribe are sealed to be the servants of God And that was the reason why there was no more sealed of all the outward Tribes of outward Israel the Serpents Tribe was not sealed and the Serpents Tribe is those wherein the Serpent and his seed rule in the heart These being left out and not sealed for the servants of God of the Tribes of Israel was the reason there was no more sealed and it is the reason that there is no more sealed of all the Tribes that are in the several outward forms of outward Worship and that is that which makes their number so small that a man may easily number a hundred forty and four thousand And of the Gentiles all Nations and Kinreds and People and Tongues that have not known the subtilty of the Serpent tempting man in the outward forms of worshipping of God and also of those that have known the subtilty of the Serpent tempting them in outward forms of worshipping of God and have known a saving and being delivered out of those temptations of the Serpent by the life of Jesus in them and so are none of the Serpents by the life of Jesus in them and so are none of the Serpents Tribe nor are sufficing themselves nor can suffice themselves in that they are worshipping God in outward forms but are worshipping him in his Spirit and in his Truth that is in Jesus that saves them from sin Of all these that is of those that have not known the subtilty of the Serpent tempting them in outward forms and those that have known the subtilty of the Serpent tempting them in outward forms and have known a being saved and delivered out of his temptations There are a great multitude that no man can number standing before the Throne and before the Lamb clothed with white robes and palms in their hands crying with a loud voice saying Salvation to our God having come out of great tribulations and washed their robes and made them white in the bloud of the Lamb. Thus Jesus is a Light and a Saviour to those that never hear of that Jesus born of the Virgin Mary And now to return again to those that have heard of that Jesus born of the Virgin Mary and profess themselves Christians and have known something of the working of Gods Spirit in them and have known something what it hath been to be drawn or led forth by the Spirit of Jesus in them how far they may go and yet not know the birth of the Child Jesus in them that saves from sin nor the woman that was deceived and in the transgression to be saved out of the transgression by bearing the Child Jesus Man may by Jesus the Light in him be convinced of sin that it is the breaking of Gods Command and of the Judgment of God that is due to man for sin and he may be so far convinced in himself of sin and of Gods judgment for sin as that he may be brought to a repentance and sorrow for his sins and a desire to be kept from sinning and he may pray earnestly that he may be kept from sin and may set upon a reformation and do many things in obedience to God that he knew to be the will of God And this may be done from some stirrings or movings of the Spirit of Jesus in him and yet the Serpent self his own will deceive him in all this as I have experienced And that thus man may from the knowledge that he hath of this or that thing that he does know that in the doing thereof he doth that which is a breaking of the Command of God and for his so breaking of the Command of God Jesus the Light in him that makes known to him the breaking of Gods Command doth likewise make known to him what is due to him for his transgressions that is Death Hell or Damnation which man being afraid of and willing to escape and to escape the punishment that he apprehends to be due to him for his sins this makes him to repent of his sins and
from the root of sin from the love to sin God caused me to cry out against this Altar of self-obedience to God and against the Sacrifices offered upon it to please satisfie and content themselves in a strict observing doing and performing of all and every the outward things required in the outward Worship that they did set up as Jeroboam did and neglected the true Worship of God and neglected the Worship of God in his Spirit and in his Truth and in that which doth not onely save from sin in the act but from sin in the love of it And in telling them the danger that would follow and befal such a Worship as I had experienced and if any of them had set up such a Worship not charging any particular person with so doing but declaring what I knew of the subtilty of the Serpent putting man upon so doing and the danger that they were in who were in such a Worship And where is there a Meeting that there is no such Worshippers in But that all and every person that belongs to the Meeting are such and onely such as are worshipping God in his Spirit and in his Truth in his Jesus that does not onely save them from the outward actions of sin but from the love and desire to sin And those that are not thus worshpping God in his Spirit and in his Truth in his Jesus in that which saves from sin and not onely saves from outward sins taken notice of by men to be sins but saves from the root of sin from the love to sin Let them be what they will be and think of themselves as highly as they will and be never so highly esteemed of by others yet I must once more tell them whatsoever outward Worship it is that they profess it is but a Worship that the subtile Serpent puts them upon and they are with Jeroboam making of Calves and saying in their hearts these be the gods that have saved thee from that bondage and slavery that once they were under by and for their outward sins and all that they are doing in that Worship is but an offering Sacrifice upon that Altar that they have set up of self-obedience to God I shall not say that upon my thus crying out against this Altar of self obedience to God and the Sacrifices offered thereon that King Jeroboam put out his hand and said Lay hold on him but this I can say that he that looked upon himself as the chief man in the Meeting and was so esteemed of by others he often when I was speaking to the purposes aforesaid would rise up and go out of the Meeting and the rest of the Meeting would follow him I shall not say that he had done as Jeroboam did make Calves for his own safety to preserve his life and was offering Sacrifice upon the Altar of Self-obedience and therefore with Jeroboam could not indure to hear his Altar to be cry'd out against but the Tree is known by its fruit Some others although they followed his example of going out of the Meeting yet they shew something more of the following of Christs Command than he did and they would come sometimes and speak to me about my speaking which I always gave them mild and very gentle answers as I know none of them dare say to the contrary and although they had nothing to say against what I spoke but that my words were true nor had they any thing against my Life and Conversation they could not deny but that I lived as blameless as any of them But the great thing they had to say against my speaking was because my words did not reach the witness of God in them or the seed of God in them as they called it but when I spake there was something in them that was troubled and burdened and therefore they put out their hands to lay hold on me dâ—siring me to speak no more And by what spirit it was that they spake thus to me I have here already declared in declaring in what spirit it was that Peter rebuked Jesus in for speaking what was true and how Jesus words were a trouble and a burden to a will that opposed Gods will in Peter and the rest of the Twelve and so shall say no more of it now From this great disturbance my speaking to the aforesaid purposes had made to that will in them that could not endure to hear true words spoken in declaring and making known the subtilty of the Serpent how he kept up his Kingdom in man in and under an outward form of godliness of being like God when he disobeys God in that he does not worship him in his spirit and in his truth in his Jesus as he perswaded man at first and thereby caused him to fall telling him by disobeying God he should be as Gods This did so disturb burden and trouble that will in them that when there came any to the Meeting that day that they were willing to hear them speak words that many times if I did while such were there when none was either speaking or praying yet if I began to speak a few words then one or other of them would either stand up and fall a speaking or fall down upon their knees and pray or else go out of the Meeting and so break up the Meeting and so they put out their hands against me saying Lay hold on him Yet amongst all these that did put forth their hands against me there was never any one of them that would begin a discourse with me concerning my speaking no not one of them and yet I constantly when the Meeting was ended followed them to the aforesaid chief mans house whither they constantly went and there stayed till they went from thence if they went from thence that night I saw their going away and if they stayed there all night then I stayed there until they were about going to supper And sometimes I would begin the discourse with them to know why they dealt so by me but I received very pitiful answers from them sometimes they would say they thought I had done speaking because I did not follow on to speak so fast as some do and sometimes I had this answer that if any thing be revealed to another that sitteth by the first was to hold his peace and therefore when they began to speak I was to hold my peace indeed I did so because I would beget no disturbance but that is not the meaning of the Scripture but the meaning of the Scripture is quite contrary for if any thing be revealed to one that sitteth by the first is to hold his peace before he that had any thing revealed to him was to begin to speak or else how could they all Prophecy one by one and it was the practice of the Apostles as you may read Acts 15. And it is the constant practice amongst them that the one leaves speaking before the other begins but so
in their Wills set by them and thereby and therein to please satisfie and content themselves as if they were worshipping God in his spirit and in his truth in his Jesus that saves from sin and also telling of them what would follow and fall upon them for such Worship and Service But at length it happened to me as it did to the man of God sent to cry against the Altar at Bethel who King Jeroboam by his threatning nor by his friendship could prevail with to disobey any part of the Command of God but he was prevailed with and brought into disobedience by an old Prophet that told him that an Angel spake to him by the Word of the Lord but he lyed unto him he had no Angel spake to him nor no Word from the Lord to say what he did to the man sent of God It was the old lying Serpents self in him that spake these words to him whereby he deceived the man sent of God and so it happened to me All the bad dealings that I had received did not in the least hinder me in my obedience to any part of the Command of God in speaking what I had in Command to speak but it so happened that I was in Company with three Women called Old Quakers of great esteem amongst them and although in plain words they did not give themselves the Name of Prophetess as the old Prophet did or say as he did that an Angel spake to him by the word of the Lord yet they spake words to the same purpose That they were moved by the spirit of God to speak to me and that it was in the Name of God and for Gods sake and many words to these purposes that they used to me and that although as they said they did not know one anothers minds nor had said nothing of it before yet they did speak to that purpose as if they all of them severally one by another had a Command from God and that they were all moved by the spirit of God in them at that time to speak to me and let me know from God that what I spake in the Meeting I did not speak by a true moving of the spirit of God in me but it was the wrong spirits self in me that put me forward to speak and very many words they spake to me to these purposes And I having had a large experience of the subtilty of the Serpents self in me and how he had in former times deceived me in a shew of godliness and then they all as the old Prophet did did affirm that they had a several Angel or as they called it a several moving of the spirit of God severally did move in each of them and put them upon it to speak to me by the word of the Lord in them although I now know they all lyed to me as the old Prophet did yet these their lying words then spoken in the Name of the Lord deceived me as the lying words of the old Prophet deceived the man sent of God and they caused me as the Serpent did Eve who at first resisted the Temptation but afterwards she yielded to question or doubt of the Command of God whether God had said Ye shall not eat of every tree of the Garden and so at first I resisted them very strongly yet at length through their many words I question'd or doubted whether God had commanded me to speak as I had spoken although I did before know that God had Commanded me to speak as Eve knew that God had said they should not eat of every tree of the Garden there was one Tree that God had Commanded that they should not eat thereof And in this knowledge of what was Gods Command Eve had obeyed God in as I in that knowledge that it was the Command of God for me to speak had obeyed God in but it was with me as it was with Eve and the man sent of God who at first resisted and said Nay to the old Prophet after the Serpent by his deceit and lye had caused Eve to question or doubt whether God had Commanded what she in her self before knew to be the Command of God and from that knowledge that she had in her self that it was the Command of God she had yielded obedience unto it but soon after the Serpent had wrought in her to question or doubt whether it was the Command of God or no he soon by his lying brought her to disobey God in his Command and it cost her her life and so the man sent of God he knew that it was the Command of God in him that he should not eat bread or drink water in that place and he for a time obeyed the Command of God in him and did not yield to the desire of the old Prophet but when by the lying of the old Prophet and that in the word of the Lord as the old Serpent in him caused him to say he questioned the truth of the Command of God in him which before he had obeyed and would not for the fear or friendship of a King be prevailed with into the disobedience of any part of it yet by the lye of one that called himself a Prophet and sent of God as he was he went from obeying what he had known to be the true Command of God in him and believed the lye that the lying old Prophet had told him was the Command of God for him to obey God in and that cost him his life and so it was with me although at first I resisted them strongly and would give no way to them yet afterwards by the lyes that they told me in the word of the Lord as they pretended to me that it was by the motion of the spirit of God in them that they spake to me I giving some credit to them as Eve did to the Serpent and the man sent of God to the old lying Prophet I began to question the truth of the Command of God in me which before I knew to be the Command of God in me and had obeyed God therein and I did with Eve and the man of God who gave more credit to the lye the Serpent told and the old Prophet told than to the truth spoken in them and to them by the spirit of God and so did I give more credit to the lye that they spake to me in that they told me it was by the moving of self in me that I spake and not by the Command of God and by believing them in their lye I went out of the obedience to what I knew was the Command of God in me and to me and for a time I had obeyed God in which all the hard or bad dealings that I had met withal could not in the least prevail with me to disobey the Command of God in me and to me to speak what God had given me in Command to speak but I was prevailed with and prevailed over
me But so it hath pleased the infinite wise God to leave their failings weaknesses infirmities or miscarriages and not onely theirs but others of his faithful Servants in writing and now in print not to the end to be as Examples for us to follow but to be as Warnings for us to have a care that we by the subtilty of the Serpent do not fall as they did for they and we stand and are saved by all one and the same Faith in the same Jesus and what is written is written for our Instruction and Learning And I know that the same Spirit that will blame me for making so publick the dealings of Friends by me will also blame me for medling with the failings weaknesses infirmities or miscarriages of the Twelve as it did in some Friends for speaking of the failings of Job who although perfect and upright and how patiently he bore what God suffered Satan to afflict him with yet his patience did not always continue the same for if it had he would never have cursed the day of his birth c. I made but use of this in my speaking in the Meeting to shew what great need we all had to stand upon our watch lest at any time we be overcome by the subtilty of the Adversary and this gave such an offence that I was by two counted no small Friends at two several times rebuked for mentioning Job's failings And therefore I expect no other but by the same Spirit I shall be sentenced and judged for my making so publick the dealings of those called Friends or Quakers to me or rather to that which was of Jesus in me but if they do I know by what Spirit it is that they so judge and censure me That it is not by the spirit of God for the example of the spirit of God I follow it is the example of God by his spirit in Matthew and Luke to make publick in writing the dealings of the Twelve by Jesus It is the example of God by his spirit in Paul to make publick in writing Peter's not walking uprightly according to the truth of the Gospel but dissembled It is the example of God by his spirit in the holy men of old that gave forth the Scriptures to make publick in writing the failings of the best of his Servants as of Noah Abraham Lot Moses David Job and others And therefore I shall conclude with the words of Jesus Mat. 10. 24 25. The disciple is not above his master nor the servant above his lord It is enough for the disciple that he is as his master and the servant as his lord if they have called the master of the house Beelzebub how much more shall they call them of the houshold I have forborn the mentioning of any Name or Names and so I shall unless I hear what I have written be contradicted or the truth of it questioned and then I may not onely name the Names of the Persons but the Places where they either spake or did what I have herein mentioned READER WHosoever thou art that shall read what I have writ if upon the reading of what I have writ of the dealings of some of those called Quakers to me thou shalt therefore judge or think the worse of the Truth those called Quakers own and believe in that is of the true Light in them which Light is Jesus that came to save his People from their sins and that Jesus who is the true Light which lighteth every man that cometh into the World it is onely he and there is none other that can save any one from their sins and the way that they own that God is to be worshipped in by this Jesus the true Light in them is to worship him in his Spirit and Truth That evil Spirit that would lead thee or cause thee upon the reading of what I have writ to judge or think the worse of the Truth owned and believed by those called Quakers and of the way owned and believed by them that God is to be worshipped in because of the dealings of some of them to me the same evil Spirit upon the same ground may lead thee or cause thee to judge or think the worse of Jesus and of the way that he declared that God the Father was to be worshipped in and that because of the dealings of the Twelve by him as I have in what I have writ mentioned of their dealings by Jesus as that they did not believe all that he said to be true nor did they always understand the truth spoken by him but by Peter he was rebuked for speaking the truth and all of them did contradict him in his speaking the truth saying to him That should not be done to him and that by them that he had said should be done to him and that by them as when he told them they should be all offended because of him that night and so offended as to be scattered and forsake him and as he said they should therein deal by him so they did deal by him although they had all said they would not deal so by him And moreover there was one of the Twelve that for the love he had to money betrayed him and sold him to them that he knew sought for him to take away his life Thus much you may read in the Scriptures of the dealings of the Twelve by Jesus And therefore I do say that the same evil Spirit that would have thee to judge or think the worse of the Truth that is owned and believed by those called Quakers of their worshipping God in Spirit and Truth because of what I have writ that some of them have done to me The same evil Spirit upon the same ground may cause thee to judge and think the worse of Jesus and of the truth that Jesus preached because of what the Twelve did to him that thou mayest read written in the Scriptures God knows and bears me witness that why I make mention of their dealings to me is to do what I believed I ought to do thereby to make known what knowledge and acquaintance man may have of Jesus in the flesh and yet not know Jesus in his Death and Resurrection as the Twelve who had the most knowledge of him and acquaintance with him in the flesh and were sent by him to preach and cast out Devils and yet knew him not in his Death and Resurrection And therefore man may go a great way in an outward form of Worship and in an outward following of Jesus and yet not come fully to know what it is to deny himself daily and take up his Cross to all self and be a Follower of Jesus in the Spirit As the Twelve although they followed him in the flesh and so had the most acquaintance with him yet they had not in that time of their knowing of him and following of him in the flesh so fully learned that Lesson of self-denial and taking up of the daily Cross to their own wills as they learned it when they knew his Death and Resurrection in themselves and followed him in the Spirit And as Paul said They knew no man after the flesh yea though we have known Christ after the flesh yet now henceforth know we him no more Oh how subtilly the Serpent self in man can and does act in an outward form of worshipping God tempting man in that knowledge and understanding that he hath of God to eat of the forbidden Tree that he might thereby be as Gods I do therefore beseech the Readers to have a great care that they be not deceived by the Serpents subtilty therein as I do know he hath formerly deceived me And also I do beseech them not to answer the desires of the subtile Serpent or Tempter in them as to judge or think the worse of the Truth the true Light in man or of those called Quakers because of some ill dealings done by some of them to Henry Abbut FINIS
A FREE GIFT FREELY Given of God TO HENRY ABBUT And by him freely Given to The Reader Without MONEY or PRICE It was the Complaint of God by the Prophet Jeremiah Jer. 6 13 14. and ch 8. 10 11. That the Prophets and Priests had dealt falsly In that they had healed the hurt of the daughters of his people slightly saying Peace peace where there is no peace Printed in the Year 1684. THE EPISTLE TO The Reader READER I Was never learned in the Schools of men any other Language but the English nor do I well understand many words that is spoken in that Language that come from other Tongues and therefore it cannot be expected that I should place my words in what I write in such an outward Scholar like-way as perhaps I might have done had I been brought up in the outward Schools of Learning To shew outward Wisdom is not the thing I aim at in what I write nor ought it to be my aim if I had it because the things of God that is in the way that God makes use of to restore fallen man again unto himself he will destroy the wisdom of the wise and bring to nothing the understanding of the prudent 1 Cor. 1. 19. And therefore if I had been learned in that Wisdom I could not in and by that Wisdom experimentally and knowingly have set forth to others the way that God makes use of to restore lost man again unto himself because God hath hid it from the wise and prudent and hath revealed it unto babes for so it seemeth good in the Fathers sight Luke 10. 21. The thing that I aim at in what I write is that the Tallent given to me might not be hid but improved for him that gave it me in my discovering what I by experience know of Mans being made in the Image of God And how Man made a wrong use of that Vnderstanding and Knowledge that God gave to Man in his Creation as made in his Image And how the Serpent self in man at first was and now is tempting Man in that Vnderstanding and Knowledge that God hath given to Man to perswade man to please satisfie and content himself more in what he understands and knows of God than to yield obedience to God according to what he knew of God that he should obey God in God commanded man that he should not eat of the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil that is he should not please satisfie and content himself in that he knew God and knew what was God's declared Will that he should do which was good and knew what was God's declared Will that he should not do that was evil he was not to do evil of this Tree man was commanded not to eat of nor to touch the Fruit of it And God commanded man to eat of the Tree of Life which was in the midst of the Garden which was Jesus that in man that saved man from sin that brought forth the Fruit of Obedience unto God according to that understanding and knowledge that God had given to man to obey him in this man was to eat freely of And to declare what I know of Gods love to all fallen men and how he will bring lost man again to himself by chusing them to take up the Cross and follow Jesus When I at first began to write some part hereof I began upon half a sheet of Paper and had no thoughts to write more than what might have been writ upon half a sheet of Paper and that onely concerning what Adam the Woman the Garden the Serpetn the forbidden Fruit the eating of the forbidden Tree and the death that Man died in the day that he eat thereof what these were in the mystery as knowing that no Scripture is of any private interpretation nor had I at first any thoughts of printing But God of whom I earnestly begged to assist me in what I then was moved to write resigning my will wholly up into his will in what I did he hath caused me to exceed that bounds which then I thought to have left onely in writing and what I have writ is according as he was pleased to put into me and move in me to write without observing any outward forms rules or methods in writing as is used by men so to do Are not the Scriptures so written without the observing of outward rules and methods God having herein in what measure he pleased lighted his Candle in me he made known to me that it was not to be put under a Bushel but on a Candlestick that so as an Instrument it may be a light to others And in obedience to God I knowing no other way to do it in to avoid offence but by being at the charge of putting it in print and so thereby to communicate it to my Children Friends and Acquaintance and thereby it may remain as an Instrument in Gods hand to be as an help to shew to others how subtile the Serpents self is in man to draw man into disobedience to God and that under a pretence of profit or gain that man shall get by his disobedience in that thereby he shall become the more like unto God to be as Gods Which subtilty of the Serpent man cannot see but as he comes into the obedience of Jesus the true Light in him and so come to know how God saves man again out of his disobedience and bring man again into himself Which being outwardly printed may outwardly remain when outwardly shall not be Henry Abbut A FREE GIFT Freely given of GOD TO Henry Abbut c. I Do believe there was an Adam a man made by God and out of that man God took a woman and gave her to that man that he had made of whom came all mankind and they lived together as Gods Creatures and for a time obeyed God in all things that he required of them to obey him in but they did not continue in their Obedience but sinned against God and so do all men and women If we say that we have no sin we deceive our selves and the truth is not in us 1 John 1. 8. But for their sin they did not die a natural death of the body in that natural day of the week that they first sinned in And had they not sinned I believe they had never died the natural death of the body And I do believe the outward Adam and woman and the outward death are Figures and in a mystery they represent an inward Adam woman and death Adam in the mystery is Jesus the woman in the mystery is mans being drawn by the Spirit or the leadings or goings forth of man by the Spirit of Jesus in man As the woman was taken out of man and given to man to be an Help-meet for him so is man by the drawings of the Spirit or the goings or leadings forth of man by the Spirit of Jesus in man they are taken out of Jesus and
outward worshipping of God in these things that God hath outwardly required to be done in his worship and so call themselves the Children of God and of the Seed of Abraham These are they that shall be cast out of the Kingdom into utter darkness When those that make not the outward shew of worshipping of God but do the things contained in the Law of God written in their hearts and shew the works thereof written there they shall be taken into the Kingdom of Heaven and sit down there with Abraham Isaac and Jacob when those that think themselves Children of the Kingdom because of their outward form of worshipping shall be cast out although they say God is their Father and that they are of the seed of Abraham as did the Jews Jesus tells the Jews that believed on him John 3. who told Jesus that they were of Abrahams seed and that God was their Father and Jesus tells them that he knew that they were of Abraham's seed but they seek to kill him because his word had no place in them And when they told him Abraham was their Father Jesus says to them That if they were Abrahams Children they would do the works of Abraham but now ye seek to kill me a man that hath told you the truth which he heard of God this did not Abraham that is Abraham did not seek to kill him But notwithstanding they were such as believed on Jesus and told him they were Abrahams seed and that God was their Father and he tells them that he knew they were Abrahams seed yet because they went about to kill him for telling them the truth Jesus he tells them they were of their Father the Devil and the lust of your Father ye will do He was a murderer from the beginning and abode not in the truth because there is no truth in him These were they that looked upon themselves to be the Children of the Kingdom and to have a right to sit down in it with Abraham Isaac and Jacob because they were in an outward form of worship worshipping God in the outward worship that God had commanded and they called Abraham Father and that they were Abrahams seed And mark further the Scripture saith of them that they believed on Jesus and owned that they had one Father even God and yet these were cast out of the Kingdom of God into utter darkness Jesus telling them they were of their Father the Devil and where their Father was must they not be there also with him and if any can believe that the Devil is in the Kingdom of Heaven sitting there with Abraham Isaac and Jacob then they may believe that his Children are there also and his Children are those that are in the outward form of worshipping God although in an outward form that God hath required to be used in his worship and say that Abraham is their Father and that they are of the seed of Abraham and that they have but one Father even God and that they believe on Jesus as did those Jews and yet Jesus's Word had no place in them but they seek to kill Jesus as did those Jews for telling them the truth Mark they did not kill Jesus they did but seek to kill Jesus as do all those wherein Jesus is a light in them and does tell them the truth what it is that they should do in obedience to God but they will not do it and therefore Jesus word hath no place in them and so as much as in them lyeth they seek to kill Jesus for telling them the truth that is they seek to kill him in themselves in that they do not do the things contained in the Law of God written within them nor shew the works of the Law of God writ in their hearts as did the Gentiles that had not the Law of God written without them and yet they did the things contained in Gods Law and shew'd the work thereof written in their hearts I say if any man can believe the Devil is in the Kingdom of Heaven sitting with Abraham Isaac and Jacob then they may believe that his Children are in the Kingdom of Heaven with Abraham Isaac and Jacob. It is not the high thoughts and esteem that they have of themselves or that others have of them as if they were the Children of the Kingdom that can give then an entrance into the Kingdom of Heaven because they are in an outward form of worship and as to the outward in the doing of such things in it as God hath commanded and looking upon Abraham to be their Father and that they were of Abraham's seed and calling God Father and believing in his Son Jesus this cannot give them an entrance into the Kingdom of Heaven there being that in them that will not let Jesus words have any place in them and therefore they seek to kill Jesus for telling them the truth that is they seek to kill Jesus in them in that they do not yield obedience to God in what Jesus the light in them makes known to be Gods will for them to obey him in this makes them of their Father the Devil because they will do his lusts and if the Father be cast out sure the Children must be cast out with him The Gentile Centurion who was great as to the outward in that he could say to this man Go and he goeth and to another Come and he cometh and to his Servant Do this and he doth it yet he did not boast and bear up himself to come of the Line of Abraham nor to be of his seed nor did he call God his Father but was low and little mean and unworthy in his own esteem and did not think himself worthy that Jesus should come under his Roof And yet there was a greater Faith in this Gentile that was not in the outward form of worshipping God than Jesus had found in Israel that were in the outward form of worshipping God And he although not of the Line of Abraham nor in the outward worship of Israel yet he was one of them that should sit down with Abraham Isaac and Jacob in the Kingdom of Heaven when the Children of the Kingdom should be cast out into utter darkness with the Devil their Father whose lust they will do This is the state of man while in an outward form of worshiping of God and are not doing the things contained in Gods Law written in their hearts that is they yield not obedience to God in what Jesus as a Light in them makes known to be Gods will that they should obey God in but they will as much as in them lieth seek to put out that Light by their disobedience and so seek â—o kill Jesus in them for telling them the truth which Abraham the Father of the Faithful did not and so by their disobedience they make it appear they are not the Children of Abraham because they do not Abraham's works Abraham he obeyed God in
by the lyes spoken in the Name of the Lord as was pretended by the three old Quakers so called and no sooner did I by the lyes that they had spoken to me begin to question or doubt of the truth of Gods Command in me to speak but there quietly got up in me a disobedience to the Command and when I found in me a motion to speak as formerly I had I did not yield obedience to the motion but went into the disobedience and kept silence as they had desired of me to do and so it cost me my life for soon after a Lion by the way met with me and slew me Jesus as he is the Lamb of God in making known in man and to man the Commands of God what man is to do in obedience to God and so in mans yielding of obedience to the Commands of God he makes known the love of God to man and in man and thus as a Lamb and act in man like a Lamb in innocency so he may be slain yea he is slain in man by his disobedience to God As I have known the slaying of him by my disobedience to the Command of God and as he is thus a Lamb in man and acts the part of a Lamb in man so the same God the same Power that hath sent him as a Jesus to save man to save all men that will believe in him that will yield obedience to what he makes known in them and to them to be the Command of God for them to obey God in so the same God the same Power hath made him Judge both of the Living and of the Dead And so as he is a Judge he is the Lion of the Tribe of Judah and that as a Lion as a Judge I found him soon meeting of me after my disobedience in not obeying the Command of God to speak as he gave me a Command to speak and he slew me he passed the sentence of Condemnation upon me for my disobedience and made me sensible of my disobedience and I knew I had transgressed and I willingly submitted to Gods Chastisement as did the man sent from God when it was told him that for his disobedience that his Carkass should not come to the Sepulchre of his Fathers You do not read in the Scripture that in the least he murmured or reflected upon the Chastisement of God for his disobedience And the passing of this sentence of Condemnation upon me was so great as that I may truly say it slew me that is as to my own apprehensions I was as it were slain in that I did not find any more movings of God in me to speak as I formerly had nor did I find in me any more stirrings or drawings of the spirit of God in me to Meditation Contemplation or musing of God and of his Goodness to me as before my disobedience I often had and was much refreshed and comforted thereby in what God in those Meditations Contemplations or musings of God and his Goodness made known to me of himself in what he was to man as a Creator and a Redeemer and what man was in his Image and likeness as Created and Redeemed nor did I find such fresh manifestations and making known of Gods love to me as before I had done thereby to cause my love to increase to God and although I went to the Meeting and kept it constantly as before yet I found no comfort or refreshment thereby as formerly I had done when I stood in my obedience to God And in this slain state for my disobedience I continued a long time At length the first appearance that I apprehended or took notice of that God stirred or moved in me by his Spirit was the movings or stirrings up of a desire in me to understand the mystery of Adam the Woman the Garden the Serpent the forbidden Fruit and the eating of it and the death that man died in the day he eat thereof And to leave something of it in writing not in print I had no thoughts of any such thing then that others might know what God had made known to me of the subtilty of the Serpent in man and so little did I then think of writing much that I began upon half a sheet of Paper thinking upon that I might write what was Gods will that I should leave in writing but it exceeded the half sheet and came into several sheets And when I thought I had done writing and had tacked the sheets together intending to send them to printing it pleased God to take from me a Child whom I loved as being in the outward body more like me than any Child I had and such was Gods goodness to me although I had a natural affection to her as a Father yet I was so well satisfied with the will of God therein that it was no inward trouble or disturbance to me but I was as if it had not been in having my will resigned and given up into the will of God therein And then God moved and stirred in me to write something of what I knew of denying my self and taking up the Cross and following of Jesus and I did not think therein to have writ so much as would have filled one sheet of Paper not having the least thought as God is my witness of making any the least mention of what I knew of taking up the Cross and following of Jesus when I stood in my obedience to him in speaking what he had given me in command to speak through all the opposing I met with but finding it lay as a duty upon me after I had began to write of self-denial and taking up the Cross and following of Jesus I was then and thereby as my duty required to make known what I knew how the subtile Serpent deceives man in an outward form of Religion perswading them that in that outward form of Religion they are denying of themselves and taking up the Cross and following of Jesus when indeed and in truth they are but a setting up of self in them And I have yielded in doing my duty therein lest through my disobedience therein God might have dealt with me as he did by me for my disobedience in not speaking And if any that shall read what I have herein writ and there shall and does rise in them a spirit to think or to speak that I have not done well in it to make so publick the failings weaknesses infirmities or miscarriages of Friends to me or rather to that of Jesus in me I shall say that by the same Spirit they may upon the same grounds as well think and say that Matthew and Luke did not do well or rather the spirit of God in Matthew and Luke did not do well in making by writing so much more publick the failings weakness infirmities or miscarriages of the Twelve to Jesus as I have done the failings weakness infirmities or miscarriages of others to that which was of Jesus in
much the subtilty of the Serpent had prevailed with them as to excuse themselves for what they had done as that they would wrong and abuse the Scripture and not onely the Scripture but their own practice Others of them wherein the subtilty of the Serpent did not so much appear in sewing fig-leaves together to make themselves Aprons to cover their nakedness with They dealt plainly with me and told me that indeed they had nothing against the words I spake nor against me but the reason why they did it was because they were informed that my speaking at other times was a burden and trouble to many in the Meeting These are truly in substance the very Answers that have been given me when I have begun any discourse with any of them to know why they dealt so disorderly by me And I shall leave it to the witness of God in every mans Conscience whether these in their thus dealing with me were not in the same state and condition and carryed out by the same spirit that the Twelve were in when they met with one casting out Devils in Jesus Name and they forbade him because he did not follow them When Jesus had cast out of the Gaderean the unclean spirits or devils he commanded him to go home to his house to his friends and tell them and shew unto them how great things the Lord had done for him and had compassion on him and he obeyed the Command of Jesus in publishing throughout the whole City how great things Jesus had done for him and all men did marvel as you may see Mark 5. Luke 9. These Gaderenes although for the great loss that they had of their Swine they prayed and besought Jesus in that body of his to depart from them out of their Coast yet when the man out of whom Jesus had cast unclean spirits or devils prayed and besought him that he might be with that body of Jesus but Jesus would not suffer him but sent him home to tell and to shew to his friends what great things God had done for him in having compassion on him and according to the Command of Jesus he went his way and published throughout the whole City how great things Jesus had done for him And the Gaderenes when they heard him begin to publish what great things God had done for him they did not go away from him and would not hear him and desire him to hold his peace and not to publish any more what great things that God had done for him neither â—id they fall a speaking to prevent or hinder him from publishing what great things God had done for him no tâ—â—y did not deal so by him but on the contrary they staid and patiently heard him without interrupting or hindring of him from publishing the great things that God had done for him there was not one of them that shewed any dislike to what he published of the great things that God had done for him so far were they from shewing dislike at what he did that all men marvelled at it I shall leave it to the witness of God in every one to judge whether or no these Gaderenes shall not rise up in Judgment and condemn some that when Jesus had cast out the uoclean spirits or devils out of a man and commanded him to tell to shew what great things that God had done for him to his friends where he lived that when he began to tell and to shew what great things that God had done for him they would not stay to hear him but went away from him and desired him to declare no more amongst them what great things that God had done for him or else some of them to begin to speak to the end to prevent him from making known what great things God had by his onely begotten Son Jesus done in him and for him But all this did not in the least disturb disquiet or trouble me although I was looked upon by most of them as Ahab looked upon Elijah to be a Troubler of Israel for when I went after the Meetings were ended to the aforesaid chief mans house not one in five of them would take any notice of me not so much as to give me the hand the usual custom amongst them at their parting that so if I had wanted a hand to have been helped to Heaven thereby I must have stayed behind for any help I should have had of them And if they were going by me at their going away out of the house they would turn their backs to me and their faces another way because they would not see me and yet all this never in the least moved me but I was kept by the spirit of Jesus in me in quietness and peace in me knowing whose work it was that I did although by their dealings with me I understood I was not onely sleighted by them but made an hiss and by-word among those called of the World for what they did by me was not done in a corner but openly publickly sometimes in the presence of some hundreds that came to the Meeting out of several Parishes round about and the great man of the Meeting when one time I was at a monthly Meeting and there made a complaint of the Meeting that they did not deal by me as I had in a Book of theirs kept for the County at the place of the monthly Meeting read That it was an order made in general for all Meetings that they should do for me or any other and it was owned by the monthly Meeting that they ought to deal by me as I had desired of them and as it was writ in their Book they ought to do it yet this great man of esteem stood it out against the Meeting that it should not be done for me although it was owned by the Meeting in general to be my right and to excuse himself why it should not be done for me he openly fell upon me in words saying That I was the greatest trouble and burden to the Meeting that ever the Meeting met withal and why was it but for the words I spake in the Meeting he could not deny but that my life and Conversation was as blameless as his or any that did belong to their Meeting and so I was owned to live by the monthly Meeting and I refer my self to those that were at the monthly Meeting how patiently I did bear it and how little I spake in my own defence although I had truth on my side as in general the monthly Meeting owned and although as to all outward things they knew I was not any thing beneath any of them All this their dealings by me did not in the least abate or hinder me for crying out against the Altar of Self-obedience and against the Offerings offered thereupon in a very strict and devout observing doing and performing all and every the outward things that is desired and required in that outward form of Worship