can be done by them but what thou pleasest and sufferest to be done Cause them and all thy people to know that having thee on their side and for them they need not fear who be against them for none ever fought against thy power and prospered and that though thou dost usually use means yet thou canst O God we know if thou so pleasest do thy work without means yea and against means and that there is no means so contemptible but thou canst O God our God make effectual even to the pulling down of strong holds as thou did'st the Walls of Jericho at the noise of Rams Horns it is as easie with thee to do what thou willest as to will it all things are as easie as possible let us not then O God fear any power no nor all powers having thee the Lord for our God before whom all the Nations of the earth are as the drop of a bucket and as the dust of the ballance Thou holdest O God the Ocean in the hollow of thine hand and the earth is upheld and standeth fast by the power of thy might give us then O Lord God such fear as may cause us to love thee and such love as may cast out and destroy all fear for thou only who art God only art to be feared only Ah Lord look down graciously and in mercy upon poor afflicted Scotland and Ireland stir up thy self and come and save them even now now when there is no help for them nigh at hand O Lord be thou their help and help thou them and give them grace to put their trust in thee that thou mayest be their help and deliverer of three Nations make us O Lord one people that we may be knit together with the bonds of love and unity serving thee O Lord with a perfect heart in holiness and righteousness all the days of our lives And though O Lord thou hast delivered them into our hands and given us power over them Ah Lord suffer us not to do other unto them than we would they should do unto us and that we lay not on them too heavy burthens to bear Bless O Lord I beseech thee all my kindred and acquaintance in the flesh Ah Lord I know that thou knowest all their soul and body cases Ah be thou pleased in Jesus Christ to come into their help and give them deliverance make O Lord make their hearts below their conditions and then make their conditions what thou wilt lay no more O Lord on them than thou shall be pleased to enable them to bear and then lay on them what thou wilt Ah Lord cause every thing to work together for their good let them always see and acknowledge that thou punishest them far less than their iniquities deserve and that all afflictions whatsoever come from thee but the procuring cause is in themselves make them O Lord as willing to wear the Cross here as the Crown hereafter to suffer for thee here as to reign with thee hereafter And though O Lord they be poor in the world let them be rich in grace though they be contemptible in the world let them be honourable in thy sight be thou O Lord their Portion and make them thine inheritance and grant O Lord I beseech thee that their last days may be their best days and their last thoughts their best thoughts that they may be thy faithfull humble and obedient Servants unto their lives end living the lives of the Righteous that they may be like them both in death and after death Be thou with them O Lord in all places and at all times that they may always sit under the shadow of thy wings and that the fruit of thy word may be pleasant unto the tast of their souls let them through grace delight to walk in the ways of thy Statutes and let thy Commandments be their daily talk suffer them not O Lord to go astray from thee either after the pleasures or profits of the world but inable them all through grace to walk uprightly and circumspectly before thee unto their lives end Be mindfull and mercifull O Lord unto all the Sons and Daughters of affliction wheresoever dispers'd wheresoever scattered on the face of the whole earth bring home O Lord all that are banisht deliver all Captives and set free all Prisoners that every one may sit under his Vine and rejoyce under his Fig-Tree eating in peace the fruits of their labours visit O Lord the sick comfort the comfortless bind up the broken heart heal the wounded heart give life to the dead heart give the grace of faith unto the doubting heart and of hope unto the despairing heart speak peace O Lord unto the disconsolated and afflicted heart give understanding memory sense and reason unto the distracted heart and those amongst them whom thou dost intend O Lord and hast appointed to take unto thy self let them see thine arms of love in mercy open and ready to receive them let them hear O Lord thy sweet and comfortable voyce speaking peace unto their Souls and saying Sons and Daughters be of good cheer your sins are forgiven you wash them O Lord with thy most dear and most pretious blood and sanctifie them with thy holy spirit of grace that they may appear spotless and unblameable before thee whiter than Snow purer than Wool finer than Gold and brighter than the Sun and make them O Lord more than Conquerours and those O Lord whom thou dost intend to restore unto their former health and strength give them grace to lead new lives and to become new Creatures that others seeing their good works may glorifie thee O God our Heavenly Father in Jesus Christ Ah Lord God look with much mercy I humbly beseech thee upon all those every where that suffer for the Peace of a good Conscience because they will not sin against thy truth keep them O Lord as the Apple of thine eye that nothing come nigh to hurt them nor to affright them let them depend on thy mercies fear thy judgments and lay hold on thy gracious promises give them O Lord courage and strength to fight that good fight and to run that good race that thou hast set before them that they may be always-willing and ready to give up their lives unto the death and then from thee O Lord they may receive the Crown of Eternal life And those O Lord that suffer for an evil Conscience because they have sinned against thy truth let them not always mourn as men and women without hope but pour down O Lord in much love and mercy pour down thy holy and blessed spirit the Comforter into their hearts that may speak peace unto their Souls even that peace that passeth all understanding let not the Mountains of their sins O Lord nor the Rocks of unbelief hinder thy mercies from coming down out of Heaven into their Hearts nor their Prayers from ascending up unto thee by faith but cause them O
ravishing joyes that God hath prepared and laid up for all those that truly love him I intend not to speak any thing touching thâ— method nor to crave the excuse of any for any thing that may not savour with them I know from whom I have received it and he I am sure will patronize and protect it and bless it in some measure I hope unto all that shall read it but whatever success it find I shall find I am sure all that I seek for which is peace within during this life and honour glory and immortality in the World to come which good Lord grant for Christ his sake unto all those that love thee anâ— wait for thine appearing And thus dear hearts I leave you to the guidance of the gooâ— Spirit of the Lord to direct you in all your thoughts and words that they and all your actions as well as mine may be now and always acceptable in his sight who is our Strength anâ— our Redeemer to him who is able to keep you from the hour of Temptation and to preservâ— you blameless unto the hour of his coming commit and commend you remaining In London Anno 1654. IN the Name of the most Holy Glorious and blessed Trinity God the Father God the Son and God the Holy Ghost one God blessed for ever to whom be given and ascribed as all due is and to none else Honour Glory Power Might Majesty Dominion and Thanksgiving by me and by the whole world of his Elect Now and for Evermore Amen Amen So be it Lord so be it THomas Arundell the poorest vilest basest and unworthiest of all the servants of the living God altogether unworthy of that most Worthy Glorious and right Honourable Title but trusting on his mercy and free Grace to be made worthy through the merits and worthiness of Jesus Christ and in him to be accounted worthy Doth in all humility of heart most humbly beg and implore his Divine Majesty in Jesus Christ to inspire bless and assist him with his holy Spirit that he may here following set down only the sincere breathings and longings of his soul in truth and sincerity of heart and that he may grow daily from one degree of grace unto another from step to step untill he come to that height and fulness of measure of holiness appointed by God in Jesus Christ who is the Fountain the Ocean and the fulness of all Happiness and Blessedness being God equal with the Father Blessed for ever and ever A Prayer O Most Holy most Glorious Eternal incomprehensible Lord God full of Grace and Truth Maker and Giver of all things both in Heaven and in Earth from all Eternity unto all Eternity thou art and there is none besides thee God blessed for ever and ever Thou givest O Lord freely fully and continually and art never weary nor repentest all our springs are in thee and from thee thou canst not increase nor diminish whatever is done for or against thee Ah Lord my God give me so much of thy self as I may be like unto thee in all things by grace here and in glory hereafter that I may stedfastly faithfully heedfully carefully and circumspectly do thy whole and holy will on earth until I come to glorifie thy Name in Heaven O Lord conform my will unto thy most holy and most blessed will that I may serve and please thee by all my thoughts words and actions not turning aside to the right hand of pleasures or to the left hand of profits Let thy most holy and most blessed Spirit teach me lead me guide me and so direct and govern me that the thoughts of my heart the words of my mouth and the works of my hands may be now and always acceptable in thy sight O Lord my Strength and my Redeemer O Lord that searchest all hearts and triest the Reins pondering all our actions be pleased in Jesus Christ to look down upon me poor vile sinfull dust and ashes the greatest of sinners and the very worst of the worst of men and for his sake wash away all my iniquities and purge me from all my sins and my transgressions known or unknown secret or revealed past present and to come and for the merits of that most dear and pretious bloud of thy dear and only Son which was I believe shed for me on the Cross O Lord grant that I may appear blameless and spotless before thy Throne of Grace and Justice at all times when I come before thee that thou mayest have delight in me and in all the works of my hands and mayest according to thy good promise graciously hear and answer my petitions and requests which I most humbly and unfeignedly desire may be framed in my heart by thy holy Spirit that they may be according to thy holy mind and will and find acceptation through the mediation and merits of thy dear only and beloved Son Jesus Christ the Righteous And grant O most mercifull and loving Father in Jesus Christ my Redeemer that I may set down from time to time the only Dictates of thy holy and most blessed Spirit unto my poor Soul not any head-notions but my very hearts frame and only desires and motions that they may both then and ever after refresh rejoyce glad and comfort me and cause me to bring forth fruit to newness and amendment of Life for the honour and glory of thy great Name and grant that I may ever renounce all merit or worthiness in my self for the very least of all thy mercies even for the crumbs that fall by thy providence from the Childrens Table Sure I am the more light I have from thee O Lord my God I shall the better and clearer see my own darkness the more I have of thy wisdom the better I shall see the foolishness of all worldly wisdom and the errours of my own ways the more I have of thee the less I shall have of my self the more thou shalt be pleased to give me the less I shall confess I deserve and the more thou shalt be pleased to lift me up the lower I will cast my self down Ah Lord God teach me to know my self that I may hate my self teach me to know thee rightly not in the History only but in the mystery also not only without but also within that I may love thee in fear and fear thee with true unfeigned sincere spotless love wean me O Lord from the World and the World's loves let me dye to the World and to all things in it that I may live to thee Ah take me from the world ere thou takest the world from me fit me for thy self ere thou takest me to thy self let my last days be my best days and my last thoughts my best thoughts let me not live one moment longer than to do thee service and let that only be my aim and my end let thy work be my wages and thy wages my work O Lord God in Jesus Christ I most humbly
all flesh may be converted and brought home unto thee that their souls may live and not dye eternally Remember O Lord God thine antient Covenant with Abraham thy Friend and pity our elder sister the Jews suffer them not Ah Lord suffer them not longer to wander as Sheep without a Shepherd but bring them home Ah Lord bring them home to thy fold and to thy flock and be thou the Shepherd and life of their Souls Open O Lord the eyes of their understanding that they may know thee the true God and Jesus Christ whom thou hast sent that they may behold him whom they have crucified by their sins and may mourn as one mourneth for his only son and be in bitterness as for a first-born have they stumbled that they should fall God forbid but rather through their fall Salvation is come unto the Gentiles for to provoke them unto jealousie Now if the fall of them be the riches of the World and their diminishing the riches of the Gentiles how much more O Lord their fulness and if the casting away of them be the reconciling of the World what shall the receiving of them be but life from the dead for if the first fruit be holy the lump is also holy and if the root be holy so are the branches because of unbelief they were broken off and if they abide not still in unbelief hast thou not promised O God to graft them in again and seeing thou wert O Lord pleased to grast us into the good Olive-tree that were wild by nature Ah when Ah Lord when wilt thou graft in again these into their own Olive-tree which be the natural branches for blindness is happened to Israel until the fulness of the Gentiles be come in and so all Israel shall be saved as concerning the Gospel they are Enemies for our sakes but as touching the Election they are beloved for the Fathers sake for the gifts and calling of God are without repentance Bring in then O Lord bring in then the fulness of us the Gentiles that the number of thine Elect may be accomplished and that Man of Sin destroyed with an utter total and eternal destruction Break O Lord the Power of the Turk and all thy Churches adversaries destroy the pride of Rome and root out Antichrist O Lord I beseech thee out of all our hearts and permit not that any of thy children be led away by Errors Heresies Sects or any false worship but let thy Word O Lord and Gospel be preached and taught throughout the whole Earth in purity and sincerity as thy Word and with the powerfull assistance of thine own Holy Spirit Ah Lord cause it to work efficaciously on the hearts of all hearers that they may hear it with fear and trembling even as thine own Word and by it be convinc'd of sin of righteousness and of Judgment and to this end O Lord God be thou pleased to give a double portion of thy Holy Spirit unto all the Ministers thereof that they may preach it in the power of the Holy Ghost not fearing the face of Men being confidently assured that their work and labour shall not be in vain in the Lord. Ah Lord in much mercy propagate thy Gospel where it is planted and be thou pleased to plant it where it is not and send forth faithfull Labourers into thy Vineyard and Harvest for thou knowest O Lord God that the Harvest is great but the Labourers are few Ah Lord suffer not I most humbly beseech thee in Jesus Christ that the wild Boar of the Wood pluck up the Roots nor the little Foxes to cut off the branches but blast O Lord all the designs and machinations that are any where hatching against thy Church and People and bring them to nought and cause their Enemies which are thy Enemies to fall into the Pits and Snares which they have laid for them do good O Lord to thy Sion and build up the Walls of thy Jerusalem do thine own work in thine own good due and appointed time and let thine own arm O Lord bring us Salvation In a more particular and most special manner O Lord I humbly beseech thee in Jesus Christ be mindfull and have mercy upon the Land of my Nativity Pardon O Lord the Nation and particular sins thereof past present and to come of Magistrates Ministers and People our sins O Lord of blood our sins of unthankfulness ingratitude and rebellion against thee our God our sins of covetousness which is Idolatry our sins of Pride and Hypocrisie of self-love and hatred of our brethren our sins of gluttony and drunkenness of uncleanness of malice wrath and revenge our sins of prophanation and persecution our sins of blasphemy and toleration against thy self O God and Christ against thy holy Law and Gospel O God that art the Judge of Heaven and of Earth pardon O Lord pardon I humbly beseech thee in Jesus Christ England's sins for they are great and enter into a Covenant with them and be thou their God and make them thy people that they may serve thee for ever and for ever and thou mayest henceforth delight in them to live amongst them and never more to be wroth with them Settle O Lord I beseech thee a faithfull Magistracy over us Judges as at the first and Counsellours as in the beginning that Justice may run down our streets as a mighty River and righteousness as a great stream that the cause of the Poor the Widow and the Orphan may be heard and Justice done without respect of Persons that there be no crys in our Land nor no complaining in our streets Give O Lord boldness zeal courage and faithfulness unto all the Ministers thereof that they may not seek the praise of Men but the praise honour and glory of thee our God and that they may be ready and willing to lay down their lives for the truth and be faithfull unto the death choosing rather much rather affliction and persecution for thy sake and the Gospels than to dwell in the Tabernacles of the wicked and to serve the lusts of Men. And to this end O Lord God give them I humbly pray thee a double Portion of thy holy Spirit which thou gavest unto thy faithful Servant Elias to lead guide govern and direct them in the ways of all truth and righteousness that they may not at all fear him which can only kill the body but him which is thy self O Lord who having killed the body canst cast the Soul into Hell O Lord open their eyes that they may see thee and thy strength and power on their side and therefore may not fear the power nor the policy of their Enemies how great soever it be to the eyes of Men for they are but men meer Men whose breath is in their Nostrils a little creeping clay speaking earth Worms of six foot long whose hearts thou turnest as the rivers of Waters and changest them as thou pleasest and that nothing is or
brethren even with this true sincere and free love that they may for ever and ever enjoy that true and free Love of God which shall make them for ever free from all miseries and pains and of all pleasures and joys enjoying him who enjoyeth all things in himself from himself with whom is all joy unspeakable joy fulness of joy and at whose right hand are pleasures for evermore 199. Thus blessed and for ever blessed are all those that have this blessed Spirit of God for their Portion on Earth which shall lead them as the Sons of God unto God their Father and their Portion in Heaven who is the Portion the Father and the everlasting Rest of all the blessed 200. Ah blessed condition to be thus blessed by the Spirit of God yea by the God of all Spirits having hearts so full of true love and charity as to long labour and desire to have all others thus blessed with themselves and as themselves that are so full of the Love of God as to love all others as they love themselves and would have all beloved by him Ah holy Father increase this thy love in the hearts of all thy Children and Servants here on earth that we may together go hand in hand witnessing that the love wherewith we love one another is from thy Love and that we live in thee and thou in us who art all Love even the God of Love and that it is from thy Love and the living of thy holy and blessed Spirit in us that we thus love or love thus 201. Ah Lord God for thine own great glorious and holy names sake take not this thy Holy Spirit the Comforter from me but let it ever abide and dwell in me that I may always go forth before thee rejoycing as the Bride rejoyceth in her Bridegroom for thou O Lord knowest my many weaknesses and imperfections and that I cannot do any thing well pleasing unto thee without the assistance of this thy Holy Spirit for that my heart is all evil only evil and continually evil leave me therefore O Lord this thine holy and blessed Spirit the Sanctifier and the Comforter that I may be ever led in the ways of all truth and holyness which may conduct me unto thy dwelling place which is all peace rest holiness blessedness and eternal life and happyness 202. Here followeth a short Admonition Exhortation or advice unto all careless sinners that prize not this life or living of Gods holy Spirit in them that they would no longer quench its motions but come out of their sins and taste and see how gracious the Lord is 203. Ah poor most poor and most miserable man for thou thou only art truly miserably poor that art Christless though thou aboundest in Corn Wine and Oyl though thou farest delicately every day and art arraied with Purple Scarlet and fine linnen though thou feedest on the delicacies of Egypt and enjoyest all this Worlds good the honours riches and pleasures thereof though thou lyest on the beds of Ivory and hast thy Palaces bedeckt with the Gold of Ophir and the precious Pearls and Diamonds of the Orient though Princes should be thy Servants and Kings Daughters thy Maidens yet remember for all this thou shalt dye and come to Judgment thine honour and thy riches shall not save thee but in the day of thy distress they shall take themselves wings and fly away from thee miserable comforters are all such comforts Ah put not put not thy trust then on such things as in a moment ere thou art aware shall be taken from thee or thou from them 204. Awake awake from the dead thou careless man why sleepest thou arise and Christ shall give thee light and life why Ah why wilt thou be so obstinate as thus wittingly knowingly and wilfully to neglect so great Salvation and be thus idle all the day long dost thou not know that the night is coming wherein no man shall work and the day when thou shalt say thou hast no pleasure in them Remember Ah remember thou that sleepest in security that drinkest in iniquity as water and vanity as with cart-ropes that sayest to thy Soul eat drink and take thy fill of pleasures and to morrow shall be as this day Ah thou fool when wilt thou be wise may not thy Soul this night be taken from thee whose then shall those things be and what Ah what shall become of all those thy vain pleasures and delights thou canst not carry any of them with thee but as thou camest into the World naked so thou shalt naked return from earth thou cam'st and to earth thou shalt again return thine honour shall not go down into the Pit with thee nor thy mony neither 205. Deceive not then Ah deceive not then thy self any longer with those vain things which are not that is they are not what they seem to be what they promise to be nor what we take them to be Serve no longer Ah be thou perswaded to serve no longer Devils lusts Worlds lusts or self lusts but serve Ah serve the Lord Jesus Christ in sincerity and truth with full purpose of heart and endeavours of life that he may be still and still unto thee thy God and thy guide thy Sun and thy Shield thy peace and thy portion in the land of the living Neglect Ah neglect no longer nor put off no longer so sweet so certain and so great Salvation as those that are with God enjoy 206. Cast not Ah cast not his holy and divine Commandments behind thy back any more and trample not his precepts under thy feet and turn not his grace of love and mercy into wantonness Quench not Ah quench not the motions of his holy spirit by which thou art sealed unto the day of redemption but open quickly yea set quickly wide open the door of thy heart and let him in lest he depart from thee and swear in his wrath that thou shalt never enter into his rest and say unto thee as he did unto Jerusalem seeing that thou wouldst not be gathered unto me all my mercies shall be for ever hid from thine eyes and seeing that he would not that I should reign over him come slay him before me Ah who then who then shall be able to deliver thee from the wrath of the Lamb who is the Lyon of the Tribe of Judah he will tear he will tear thee in pieces in his anger and break thee even as a Potters Vessel is broken for none shall be able to deliver thee out of his hands nay all shall be against thee good and bad Angels Saints and sinners vea thine own self shall have indignation against thy self thine own eyes shall look evilly on thee thine own hands shall tear thee in pieces thine own thine own feet shall carry thee to the place of execution thine own thine own Conscience shall accuse and condemn thee and justifie Gods Righteous dealing towards thee thus thus shalt thou be there
that only which he feels is not words only but works also yea the work of Gods spirit for its the spirits work thus to work to work his will and his work on our hearts and to cause us to feel that is to know that he works for us and in us and will never leave thus working till he hath wrought out our Salvation that is till he hath sanctified us throughout in spirit soul and body and prepared and fitted us for Heaven as Heaven is fitted and prepared for us 19. Ah how great a folly is it to prize any other wisdom or to account any other thing wisdom then this one thing feelingly to know and to know feelingly in truth and sincerity that Jesus is the Christ our Christ and our Jesus to anoynt us and to sanctifie and save us to be unto us Wisdom Righteousness Justification and Redemption 20. O my soul my soul fry from all other knowledge that hinders this as from madness and folly as from mad folly and foolish madness brutishness and stupidity and chuse to learn and learn to chuse this one thing needfull that is to know Jesus Christ and him Crucified for thee for thee my soul and body in thy place and stead not with the knowledge of the letter but of the spirit for thus to know him is life yea life Eternal Eternal and Everlasting life 21. How willing Ah how willing is that soul that receives any thing from God to lay it out for him that is to give it unto others he would indeed be always receiving and God and his own heart only knows how willing he is to be always giving even as if he desired and begged for others and not for himself and as it 's freely given him so doth he freely or would if he could freely give it unto others he will not Ah he will not he cannot consent to napkin it up or hide it he would be thus rich and wise and honourable but it is to do good works as it were to make others such when others are what they should be he praiseth God much on their behalf and rejoyceth with unspeakable joy for the glory of God is his only rejoycing he minds in some manner yea and often too more others welfare than his own because it seems to him that he cannot alone do what he would have done for his God therefore as soon as he receives this Heavenly treasure he desires to shew himself to be the Treasurer of Heaven to distribute it unto those that want that lack it that are hunger starved and when he meets with such and perceives and finds that they feed heartily and savour it Ah how doth he bless God for thus blessing him and them for thus using him as an instrument as his hand and mouth as it were to give unto them and to help their infirmities but he gives it not as his own but as his Masters goods for he chargeth them strictly to account themselves Debtors to his Lord not to him for he always to all acknowledgeth to have nothing but what he hath received he will by no means hide his light under a bushel but puts it on a Candlestick that it may be seen his only ambition is so to traffick with it that it may redound to his Masters profit and advantage that being he is certain he shall ever have a well being that is be received into and ever to abide in the joy of his Lord yea into the Lord of his joy 22. Ah Lord empty my self of my self my heart of my own heart my affections of my own affections my thoughts of all my own thoughts that I may be filled with thee who fillest all Creatures with all the good things they enjoy â—e thou O Lord be thou all my all all my honour wisedom strength riches pleasures life contentment and happy days for even then when I have all things and have thee not thou knowest O Lord that I have nothing for that I esteem them all even nothing at all but when I have thee Ah when I have thee I have all things that I would have that my soul desireth or can ask or crave 23. Give me but thy self O Lord O Lord give me but thy self and then give me what thou wilt to do to be or to suffer for thee I accept Ah I most willingly accept of it and promise for ever obedience unto it 24. Though I am unable unfit and cannot do what I would do yet most willingly I would and most unfainedly I do desire to do what I should do 25. O Lord I know that thou knowest all things and therefore I know that thou knowest how willingly I would and how much I desire to give thee all my life all my labour and all my love 26. For there is no other thing lovely or deserves to have our loves but that one thing thy Love O God O God thy Love thy Love 27. Ah what is all mans teachings and mans doings to that O God which by thy Spirit thou teachest us to know and inablest us to do 28. If it be so sweet Ah if it be so sweet a thing to think of God and his ways here on earth in the flesh so that all earthly sweets or earths sweets are made bitter by it unsavory and unwholsome Ah how wholsome savory and sweet is it to walk O Lord in all thy ways to do all thy will and to enjoy thy self all as thou art in Heaven where thinking thoughts hoping desires and believing joys shall be turned into possessing truths even true possession of all that ever we believed desired hoped or thought on yea it shall far surpass all the imaginations of our hearts of our desires or hopes being infinite and incomprehensible as well as Everlasting and Eternal 29. And when O God thou hast thus filled us here thou dost at times seem to us to be as the ebbing Sea go back again but that we may not remain comfortless thou comest again unto us into us even as the flood yea as the full Sea to shew us witness to us and assure us that there is no want decrease nor deminishing in thee but that thou art still the same full of bounty goodness love and willingness to do us all good much above what we can ask or think 30. There is Ah there is a most blessed Heaven to be had on this side Heaven even whilst we are on earth which is an assurance certain or a certain and a sure assurance of that Heaven of Heaven in Heaven and this some have always within them at all times and places they enjoy this unspeakable joy but more fully sweetly and particularly at some times when they have a near Converse and Communion with God then are they as it were wrapt up in God and cloathed with him and filled with him and made meet and fitted by him then Ah then do they sing new songs of deliverance rejoycing with unspeakable joy that they
are thus made free 31. That high Heaven above is to be had here below and we have it when though we are high in God yet we are low in our selves though we have our hearts high living in that Heaven above above all things here below yet our affections esteem and desire are all always weak dull and low to all these things here below yea much lower than the lowest of things 32. Ah did but our hearts well consider what is in Gods heart to give us and to do for us surely we should and we would do no other thing than wait upon him continually to hear what he would say unto us and do for us which would bring us more joy joy us more than our hearts are able to hold than we are any of us able to think or to conceive 33. O Lord thou knowest that I would not have all that I would have but the heart of my desires yea the desires of my heart are to have only only to have that which is in thy heart to have me to have 34. Let O Lord I humbly beseech thee my thoughts heart and affections be always loaden with the loaves of thy love 35. Let my soul always be resatiated with thy love and kindness even with thy loving kindness O Lord. 36. O God in Jesus Christ let thy former mercies always glad my heart when it shall either droop or faint I most humbly beseech thee 37. Let me not Ah let me not wander from thee nor thy precepts O Lord who keepest this close unto me 38. Let thy Commandments be as a Chain of Gold about my neck and as Bracelets of Pearls on my arms 39. Let O Lord God thy whole Law which is holy be written on my heart with the finger of thy holy and blessed Spirit and grant through thy grace love and mercy in Jesus Christ that I may never depart from them but always and ever delight in them much more than on my daily food which thou hast appointed and ordained to feed this temporal life 40. Let thy word O God be as yea be the hony comb to the spiritual taste of my Soul and resatiate and solace it as with marrow and fatness and comfort and glad it as wine on the Lees yea as wine well refined on the Lees. 41. Ah Lord God cause my soul always feelingly and rejoycingly to say I have none in Heaven but thee nor on all the earth in comparison of thee my Jesus and my Christ and let the Corn Wine and Oyl which are the riches honours and pleasures of the World be as durt dung and dross in comparison of it 42. Ah Lord God what is man sinful man wretched blind despicable poor man that thou art thus mindful of him and the Son of man that thou should'st thus regard him delight in him and set thy heart upon him to do him good yea to do him all the good that is in thy heart and to make him that is his heart according to thine own heart 43. Ah wonder of wonders that such a God should thus condescend to love such a man nothing man man that is nothing but evil all evil yea and continually all evil for there is none good but thee O God O none no not one 44. Bow down O Lord bow down my heart unto the obedience of thy Laws and lift it up to rejoyce in the obedience of thy Commandments to keep them and do them for in the keeping of them there is life yea eternal and everlasting life 45. Banish O Lord I most humbly and earnestly beseech thee out of my heart and thoughts the love and the liking unto any other Love besides thee and thy Love 46. And grant that with the heart of my heart I may serve thee in truth of heart unfeignedly all the days and moments of my life that I may long after no other thing and that thy fear may be my dayly food 47. Ah Lord I humbly beseech thee to give out thy self unto me that I may give up my self unto thee 48. Give O Lord give thy self unto me that I may for ever give my self to thee to live ever to thee and for thee as I desire ever to live in thee and with thee 49. Thou knowest O Lord my God that I desire not what I do desire unless it be conformable to thy desires so that my desires are not mine but thine not mine own but thine own yea thine all all thine 50. I would not have O Lord God thou knowest right well what I would have but what I should that what thou wilt have me to have what thou hast appointed me to have Ah let me have that only that all all that 51. I know that all that thou givest us whether graces or gifts thou wilt have an account of we shall account with thee for 52. Ah let me no longer nor no more have this woe and grief of heart to have received much and done little and to ask much for my self but to do little Ah little for thee 53. Suffer me not O Lord never to think or do that in secret which I would not which I should not do openly and let me O Lord Ah let me much more fear thine all seeing eyes than all the seeing eyes of Angels and men 54. How we are to desire and believe that we receive the Lord in the Sacrament of his blessed Supper and the assurance thereof to our Souls to comfort glad and rejoyce them 55. Ah Lord God as for me as for me Ah Lord God the food my Soul desireth at thy Table and Supper that which resatiateth feedeth filleth and refresheth it is the sweet breath and most divine and delitious breathings of thy divine and most holy Spirit into my heart and soul and all the affections and faculties thereof to warm and heat them to ascertain and assure my heart of thy Love and living in it which thou dost O Lord by sanctifying it the will the mind the memory the desires and all the affections and faculties thereof and by making it and them more not only to desire but to perceive see feel and certainly to know its growth and growing more and more in conformity and likeness to thee O God in Christ by loving delighting choosing imbracing and rejoycing in thy Laws ways word will and Commandments I do not blessed O Lord be thy name as do the Papists suppose or believe that I eat thy flesh and drink thy blood as thou wert when thou wert here on Earth in the flesh on the Cross for I know that the Spirit must be fed with spiritual food spiritually the food of the body cannot resatiate or satisfie the Soul and that Soul that hath thus tasted and fed on thee Spiritually will assuredly hunger for this blessed heavenly food of thy holy heavenly blessed most blessed Spirit even for the breathings of this thy Spirit for the joys and ravishments which they enjoy that enjoy and are filled
and to do his will willingly 79. Ah Lord my only grief and trouble is because I keep not thy Laws and for that I have not regard to thy Commandments as I would 80. Ah that I were even as a barren wilderness to bear no fruit for my self and as a dry Spring to give no refreshment to my self to my own self that is my flesh Ah that I were as it were liveless and loveless to my self that I might only live to love and adore thee my God my God 81. What is my life or my self if it be not spent for thee and what are all my daies if I walk not only and altogether that is always in all thy ways 82. Were it not and would it not be much better for me that I were not and that I never had been if I be not O Lord thine and if I live not to thee and for thee to thy praise and for thine honour and glory 83. Beautiful are all thy ways O God they are most yea they are only desireable 84. He that walketh in them without wavering turning aside or going astray shall assuredly at last come to his journeys end to his long home to that harbour and haven of rest happiness eternal felicity and blessedness 85. To think on any thing out of or besides God brings no true solace joy savour or content 86. But to think on him as we ought how easily and quietly doth it dispel all other thoughts making us to see them as they are naked empty nothing 87. Thoughts on God fill the soul with joy delight and pleasure above and as it were even beyond end and measure 88. Good thoughts if they did no other good than keep out evil thoughts were they are they not to be accounted prized and valued as a great good 89. Thy presence O Lord at all times filleth me with all delights and pleasures and thy absence emptieth me even of all 90. When I have thee O Lord I have all I would have Ah but when I want thee I want all even all that my soul desireth that it doth love or crave 91. As I have and according as I have thee O Lord God so are my joys and according as I want thee so are my sorrows and grief 92. Thy drawing near doth not only comfort me and satisfie me but also ravish me But at thy departure or absence ah Lord thou knowest thou knowest how my heart quaketh trembleth and is full of doubts cares and fears 93. I cannot O Lord thou knowest I cannot live without the presence of thy holy Spirit who is my only comfort or comforter for when I want thee O Lord I want all good things yea I account nothing good 94. It is not the world that I long for or care for it is not O Lord the nether but the upper springs not the left-hand mercies but the right-hand not the footstool but the Throne favours that I esteem favours and mercies indeed 95. O Lord my Lord and my God do thou I beseech thee so possess my heart that I may only be possest with thee 96. O Lord be thou pleased so to live in me that I may only and always live to thee and for thee 97. Give O Lord give so thy self to me as I may give my self to thee 98. When I want thee my God who art my all and my only good I want all even all But when I have thee O Lord thou knowest my heart saith it hath all it hath all it hath all I would have all that it doth think on or desire or crave 99. How much nothing O Lord is all other things to thee And how much above all things O Lord art thou to me 100. Give me then thy self O Lord my Lord and I will always chearfully say I have all and that I desire nothing else at all but unless thou dost O Lord my God give me thy self thy only and thy very very self thou knowest that all things seem to me and are esteemed by me even as nothing as dirt as dung as dross 101. Thou knowest O God my God that I cannot live without thee and I desire only to live to live in thee to thee and for thee 102. Ah that I were dead to all things and all things dead to me that I might only be alive to thee 103. Oh that all things would take themselves wings and fly from me that I might not be kept back from flying up to thee my God my God 104. In thee O Lord there is true rest a rest of peace in truth but out of thee O God there is no rest for the soal of the foot of my soul 105. I cannot rest but on thy breast I cannot live but in thy Love I cannot walk but in thy way I cannot joy but in thy day I cannot run but unto thee I cannot see but only thee I cannot joy but in thy love I am not well but when above O God my God take me to thee That no other I ever see For seeing thee I see that all That ever was and ever shall That glorious Sun that blessed light That shews to go by day and night That giveth all things unto all That ever were and ever shall To thee O God and thy Great Name Be ever praise laud and great fame From this time forth for ever more Thy self thy love I will adore 106. How sweet O God Oh God how sweet are thy Sweets 107. Oh happy condition to enjoy thee O God whatever my condition be 108. O Heavenly heart that is always in Heaven meditating on thee God the Heaven of Heaven in Heaven 109. Oh happy he that hath always Heaven in his mind that minds only Heaven and the things that are in Heaven 110. Such Ah such a heart O Lord who art the Lord of Heaven and Earth give me that my heart may be according to thine own heart yea that my heart may be in thine and thine in mine that thou mayest O Lord God so empty thy self into me that I may for ever and for ever be emptied into thee and filled by thee with thee 111. O Ocean of all goodness continue to shower into me the abundant showers yea floods of thine infinite good even as thou hast heretofore many many ah many times done that I may rejoyce and be glad in them as well when I have them not and feel them not as when I feel I have them 112. Ah Lord my Soveraign Lord and God my Superior and Supream good the good that is only able to glad me and to make me rejoyce fill me Ah fill me O Lord with these goods and good things that flow out continually from thee that I may see thy goodness thy beauty and thy glory as in thy Sanctuary 113. Ah the true satisfactory soul-ravishing Joys to enjoy thee O God and those Joys that thou givest away away far from me all earthly Joys earths Joys for ye are but earth and
To have God we must hate our selves that is all even all that is not of God 142. To see God we must put out our own eyes and not see with them but with his eye only only with his 143. To feel God he must be in us and we must be in him 144. To know God we must first know our selves as we are in our selves then Ah then shall we have our eyes opened to see him and know him as he is to be known and seen which is by faith from love 145. To hear God we must resolve to be obedient unto him then shall we surely hear his sweet still voice even of his own spirit within us saying Son be of good chear thy sins are forgiven thee I am thy God and I will be thy God and thy guide for ever and for ever 146. To fear God is to walk uprightly in all his ways esteeming them all holy just and good 147. How Ah how doth the heart of a Child of God open and shut pant and gape hunger and thirst grieve and groan after the goodness of God which is after his likeness to be like him for it cannot else be satisfied no not with all things not with Heavens all or that is on the earth for God only is all his good 148. I had much rather by much have the grace to please God than the grace of spiritual comfort rather have the grace of Sanctification than of Consolation 149. Let me get and keep my God with the loss of all and I will account it no loss I say no loss at all 150. The world 's all is nothing I say nothing at all to God our all who is only all even all only that is or can be desired 151. Surely surely the very soul of Religion is to serve God sincerely and heartily with our whole hearts and souls 152. For a little Ah for a very little which we give to God he giveth much to us let us not be niggards then if we will or desire to have him bountifull unto us and recompence our little with his much our small with his all 153. No man surely no man ever lost or repented for giving too much to God or for doing too much for him for every mite we rightly give a Talent at least we shall receive thus to love and fear the Lord in truth is true wisdom 154. Ah the happiness the unspeakable great and true happiness to possess God and to be possest by him if then so great here Ah how great shall it be and will it be hereafter if the beginning here bring such unspeakable joys how unspeakable will they be when begun there where we know they will never pass away or have an end 155. I had much rather by much have God with me and in me and feel it and know it and have nothing else than to have him and not feel him and have all that my heart doth or can else desire 156. When Ah when I am in his presence I am so satisfied to the full that I ask after no other satisfaction all other things are not regarded no nor thought on but thought altogether unworthy to be thought on or in the least regarded 157. Possess then Ah possess then O God my God who art all my good my whole heart mind thoughts and affections that I may be all thine and none but thine always thine and ever thine even wholly thine until that thou hast made me such as thou wilt have me to be which is holy as thou art holy pure and perfect as thou O God art even in all things in some measure like unto thee so be it O Lord God so be it Amen and Amen In Bourdeaux Anno 1659. 1. IF thou art O God my God I am sure thou wilt be my guide and if thou art my guide O God I am sure thou art my God 2. If O God thou goest with me I am sure that all will go well with me but if thou goest not with me I am sure that what ever I do will be ill with me and for me 3. If thou art mine O God if thou art mine I am sure I am and shall be ever thine but if thou art not mine so sure even so sure it is that I am not thine 4. If I have thee O God for my God I have all I need to have but if I have thee not I have nothing thou knowest of all that I desire and crave 5. Let me then so find thee that I may feel thee in me and feeling may rejoyce with that unspeakable joy which they only feel and find that have found thee and fed on thee 6. Let all things else what ever they be pass away do but thou O God with thine own spirit abide in me I say ever abide in me and I shall I am sure rejoyce and be glad that they be all banisht what ever they be and that it be said of them all they are not they are not at all 7. Let me then O God my God so have thee possess thee find feel and enjoy thee that my heart may be always upright before thee and transform'd and conform'd like unto thee even according to thine own heart holy pure perfect spotless and unblameable that thou mayest henceforth and for ever always and ever own me for thine own 8. I love truth in all things it is only truth that makes all things unto me lovely for where truth is there we may safely and truly say that God is for God is truth 9. Let O God always truth abide in me and I in truth 10. Truth is my joy truth is my delight truth is my food truth is my life truth is to me a continual feast of myrrh mirth and gladness truth always gladdeth my heart and makes it to rebound upward to skip and leap as a Kid on the Mountains and as a Lamb on the Hills 11. Truth is to me as a pretious Oyntment an eye salve it is a healing and a comforting to me always 12. Truth brings down as it were Heaven unto me and carrys me up again into it 13. Truth speaks loud in the ears of my soul and fills it with joy and continual and abundant rejoycings 14. Truth warmeth my heart at all times keepeth the fire of love joy and peace alive that it never goeth out 15. Truth is a Balm to heal all sores to fill up all scarrs to make us without blemish fair and beautifull 16. Truth never grows old but is always young strong and tender it keeps us fast to him and him fast to us whom only we desire to hold fast and never to let go 17. Truth hath power to weaken all that is amiss in us to bring it under until it be conquered finally and destroyed totally 18. Truth inflames our hearts that they are as a fire newly kindled which cannot easily be quenched 19. Truth aboundeth over all and makes us to abound likewise so that we
that loving these less I may love thee more love thee so as thou requirest and deservest that is above all things in heaven above or on earth below 45. I know O Lord that thou art with me of a truth because thy truth is with me that is in me of a very truth 46. Love from God fills our hearts with sincere and true love for God or God's love to us fills us with love for him his love sweetly constraineth us 47. Ah how light how light is that heart that is emptied of all sin being unburdened of that intolerable burthen for if a wounded heart cannot be born ah then when such a heart is made whole it must needs bring ease refreshing comfort and unspeakable joy 48. When God is in the heart it may be seen in the face and perceived by the words that come out of the mouth such a lustre is on the whole Man both within and without when the presence of God by his Spirit is within he is surely beautifull in the eyes of all beholders that delight and desire to behold the face of God in Jesus Christ the very Majesty of God in some sort is on such a Soul and through the glorious light of Christ's gracious face his face doth shine in the sight of God and all good men 49. I will make no condition with thee O God but only this that is to love thee only in all conditions as my God and my only good 50. Ah Lord I most unfeignedly and humbly beseech thee let me never taste of this bitter bitter that is to find any sin sweet 51. But let all sin even all oh all Be unto me as wormwoed and gall 52. Ah Lord I humbly beseech thee never suffer the remembrance of the former pleasures of sin to please me but let their remembrance be altogether displeasing hatefull and detestable and to be delivered from them let it be unto me as the deliverance from Death and from Hell 53. Let the fire of thy grace quench totally the heat and fire of all and every lust sinfull and disordinate affection that I may henceforth burn only in the fire of Love to thy Laws 54. The true Life of God in a Christian is most of all and plainliest seen by his hatred to all evil and sin and by his unfeigned sincere ardent and continual Love to all that is good he loves all that is good in all to see it though afar off to hear it spoken of by any whatsoever but to find it in himself most of all joys and satisfies him to see any evil committed or to hear any evil spoken by any troubles and afflicts him such is his Antipathy against it that he will not give it the least healing or parley no nor cast the least glance of an eye to favour it it is abominable to him in thought word and deed and in all its circumstances even in all And as well hath the whole man all the faculties of the Soul hatred to the least circumstance of all ill as well as to the greatest but the degree and measure is according to the measure and degree or nature of the ill but it 's alike hated sincerely as well the very least as the very greatest of all And in the same manner and measure is his unfeigned Love to all that is good he thanks and praiseth and prizeth God for good thoughts as heartily and sincerely as for good words or actions because he as plainly seeth the true Love of God in the very least particular as in the very greatest And 't is the Love of God which is his presence in Love that makes his Soul to leap within him with joy When that the Soul sees his God it sees all his good his Heaven his Bliss his Peace his Love his Joy his Rest his whole and only Delight Contentment and Comfort But in the most good he sees him most and therefore desireth to do the most good that ever was done or is possible to be done and therein he is best pleased because that pleaseth his God best and to please him is his only pleasure all his pleasure joy and delight only it is his Heaven and therefore he makes it his only happiness 55. Ah God my God and my only good let it be I most humbly and unfeignedly beseech thee in Jesus Christ always thus with me that my soul may be satisfied may be solaced may be refresht and comforted by thy living in me and by my living always in thee and unto thee to thine eternal honour praise and glory for thine own glorious and holy names sake give me this grace that I may live this life here on Earth until I come to live that life that I shall after this is ended live with thee in Heaven So be it Lord So be it Amen Amen 56. Ah how happy thrice happy are we Who both tast know feel find savour see That thou livest in us and that we live in thee 57. Empty me O Lord of all even of all that I may be fit to receive and be filled with thy fulness even with thy blessed most blessed self the Ocean and Sea of all goodness 58. As long as we are full or in part filled with world flesh or self so much less room there is for God for when a Vessel is full it can receive nothing and according to the measure it 's empty it is capable to receive 59. How then Ah how then should we labour to empty our hearts of all that is not of God that we may be filled only with God with God only and always be thus empty that we may be thus always filled for it 's clear according to the measure we are empty we are capable to receive and we shall receive from God of his blessed fulness of unspeakable joys and pleasure if we are willing and labour earnestly and sincerely to empty our selves of our selves and of all fleshly worldly pleasures and joys which are but meer fancies vanities fooleries and toyes 60. Ah Lord God the Fountain and the Ocean that can never be emptied empty I most humbly and unfeignedly beseech thee in the name and for the merits of thy Son and my Saviour Jesus Christ my heart of all things even of all what ever it be that is not according to thy heart that is not of thee that I may pant and gape hunger and thirst long and desire to be filled with thee alone alone with thee with thee who art only desirable and to be desired only grant that all the Worlds all may be more and more unto me nothing even nothing at all that thou mayest be all mine and I all thine that I may love all things out of thee less and less dayly and thee O God more and more untill I so love thee as it may not be possible for me to love thee more that my Love may cause me so to sink into thee as I may see my self in
thee and thee in me yea that I may be so swallowed up into thee that I may not be mine but thine not mine own at all but thine own all even all thine Now henceforth and for ever more So be it Lord So be it Amen Amen 61. The greatest gift that God can give us is himself by Christ and then Faith to believe it a heart to love him and rejoyce in it and to praise him continually for it 62. And this will work in us unfeigned sincere ardent true Love which will cast out all fear of doubting and work in us a true fear not to offend or grieve him any more seeing he hath given us himself to make us his for ever and for ever 63. The greatest gift that God gives man here on Earth is to ascertain and assure him by his own Spirit that he hath and will give him himself for ever hereafter to behold his face in Heaven and that we are his and shall be his for ever 64. Ah Lord God I beseech thee augment and increase my Faith that it may remove the mountains of my sins altogether out of my sight that they may never shadow thy graces in me any more but that I may always say as now thine own Spirit in me causeth me to say sweetly and boldly that thou art mine and I am thine that so I may in all needs wants crosses and afflictions whatsover say I have enough I shall not want I cannot be poor because the Lord is my God and my Portion for ever and for ever 65. Ah Lord God let me feel anew anâ— afresh dayly what I have felt of thy Lovâ— and kindness in truth and know more anâ— more clearly that thou art mine and thaâ— I am thine let me be still constantlâ— assured that thou art my Lord and my God and that thou wilt never leave me nor forâ— sake me but wilt live in me for ever and so ever 66. Let all doubts and fears be scattered that Satan may never gather them togetheâ— to molest or trouble me that my joy may be full that I may always joy in this thy so great Salvation and be made glad by thâ— light of thy countenance shining upon me which is better much by much and cheaâ—eth more than any wine 67. It is a most sweet thing to live freâ— from all sin 68. To see our selves as we are in our selves and as we are in Christ in our selves black ugly deformed loathsome filthy and abominable but in Christ comely fair beautiful white clean pure bright delightful and spotless to see our selves in our selves darkness black thick horrible darkness but in Christ transparent transcendent bright light to see our selves in our weak but in Christ strong to see our selves in our selves barren but in Christ fruitfull to see our selves in our selves very foolishness but in Christ true Wisdom to see our selves in our selves loveless but in Christ lovely to see our selves in our selves nothing but in Christ all things to see our selves in our selves sinners miserable sinners members of Satan heirs of Hell and eternal damnation but in Christ Ah in Christ our Christ without sin as if we had never sinned as members of his own glorious body and coheirs with him of Eternal Life and Glory thus Faith doth cause us to see our selves when our eyes are opened 69. I had much rather by much have Obedience than any grace of comfort or assurance I had rather much by much be wholly obedient and want assurance than have assurance and fail in any point of obedience 70. Ah God my God and my only good give this grace that I may be wholly obedient unto all thy holy Laws and Divine Commandments for as thou lookest on it as the best of Sacrifices so my Soul rejoyceth more in it than in all graces for methinks it comprehends all graces to be obedient from true sincere unfeigned Love Such a one would be wholly holy do thy whole and holy will always for such a Soul makes the keeping of thy Commandments the only joy of his heart and the solace of his Soul 71. What Ah what a sweet most sweet condition is it to live in God only and to see our selves in him for then the heart desires nothing else nor the mind minds nothing else nor the will chuse any thing else nor the affections love any thing else nor the Soul cares for any thing else nay it rejoyceth for that it is thus divorc'd from all things else and Ah how it chuseth and desireth thus to be ever to be ever thus to joy only in God and to make God only his joy 72. The Heart and Soul is then to the World and to all the things of the World as a man asleep he values no more Crowns Scepters nor Kingdoms wisdom strength beauty riches honours or pleasures than a stock or a stone doth or can do he is so sensless so benum'd frozen icy and cold that he hath no sense or feeling he is caught up above all these high things here below and when he doth return to consider them Ah how low vain and foolish doth he account them nay he maketh not any account of them at all either great or small 73. He weeps to see that he hath esteemed them as he hath and laughs at their folly that do chuse them for their choice best soveraign and chief good 74. A Soul in such a condition saith what have I any more to do with such Idols Ah that I could saith such a Soul ever enjoy my God so as that all things out of him and besides him might give me no joy 75. Such a Soul saith when and whilst I have the best good the soveraign good take the other he that will I would Ah I would with my whole heart give all to any so I could give the thoughts of it likewise that it might never more come into my thoughts but that I might be so swallowed up in God as he might only contain me and be all my all 76. What hath the King more than the Beggar or what is he more when he is asleep as to enjoyment the Beggar then wants nothing of what his heart desireth and the King possesseth nothing then of all that he possesseth according to the desires of his heart they are then alike frustrate of all things and possess nothing 77. Even so it is with the Soul nay with the whole man when he is drawn in drowned buried or swallowed up in God he is asleep yea dead to all things out of God and besides God and saith what are all these outward glorious beautifull Objects to those which I did enjoy in God Ah if I could if I could always possess these what would I care for them they are to me at such times even as if they were not in comparison of what they are at other times I can and do now heartily laugh them to scorn and have them in contempt and derision my
a natural Father a Father in the flesh is and must be still a Father and a child a child so me thinks it is with God our Heavenly and Spiritual Father he having once begotten us and we are born again and are become his children by the Grace of Adoption Justification and Sanctification he must be still our Father and we his children unto Eternal Salvation Though we do many times as fleshly children not always do the will of their Fathers in the flesh nor please them always not satisfie or delight them nor give them content yet notwithstanding they are still children nor they cannot cease to be children nor their Father to be their Father even so though we do not always do what liketh God our Heavenly Father but that at times which disliketh him and displeaseth him he as a good Father sometimes punisheth us and sometimes passeth by our failings without punishment eyeing what is rest for us and as a Father he never faileth us neither will he suffer us to fail of being his children Once his children and ever his his for ever and for ever 31. Ah Lord God that art so glorious here in Grace how transcendently glorious art thou in Glory If the Earth be so full of thy Glory how full is Heaven O Lord thy dwelling place where thou manifestest thy self unto the Saints and they behold thy beauty and thy glory face to face 32. If thy back parts be so beautiful to our eyes here in the flesh how beautiful Ah how beautiful O Lord will thy glorious countenance be unto us in glory where we shall see thee and know thee as thou art to be known 33. Thy presence even here O Lord God when we have Communion with thee doth so delight and ravish us that we had much rather by much be a door-keeper in thy house be a servant to the meanest of all thy servants than sit on Thrones and rule among the wicked that keep not thy Laws 34. I have O Lord I confess abused thy mercâ—es and do therefore acknowledge that thou mayest justly refuse me all mercies 35. I have walked contrary unto thee O God and still do and therefore I confess that thou mayest justly walk contrary unto me and give me up to do all the evil that is in my heart which is the very greatest of all thy Judgments in this life 36. We are the work of thine hand we are thine own and thou mayest justly do with us all that seemeth good unto thee to do for what is right in thy sight O Lord is just and right and good 37. When the Lord is with us for good then he hath accepted of us he is in us and we are in him one with him and he one with us we as bone of his bone and flesh of his flesh and he as bone of our bone and flesh of our flesh we are not two but one yea there is such an oneness as we are one in some measure in all things and have the same affections for all things loving what is to be loved and hating what is to be hated there is a like purity and no mixture in our choice of good and in our hatred and abhorrency of evil as to the truth and sinceriâ—y of it though much different in the degrees 38. Thus even thus is man made in some measure as God that is God like Thus even thus doth he partake of the holy and Divine Nature of God Thus even thus doth God himself give of himself unto man to make man like himself That man may be satisfied as God is satisfied but differently thus God seeing all things in himself from himself and man seeing what is of God in him is of his free gift from his free Love 39. That is to have a heart according to Gods heart to be always satisfied in all Gods dealings and doings 40. All that God doth is to have his own will accomplisht and done and if our will as it should be according to his will then are we well content in and with all that is done for nothing is done or can be done but that and only that which God will have to be done 41. The honour of all the Saints is Gods honour and their glory is to bring him glory or to glorifie him as the Saints and Angels do in glory 42. Ah Lord God let me as the Bee make honey of the weeds as well as of the flowers fetch good out of evil as well as increase and multiply good from good condemn sin where ever I see it hate it most where I see it most speak most against it when I hear it most spoken for and let the hearing and seeing of grace in others and from others beget more grace in me and let me lay it up as the Bee doth honey in the hive for my self to feed on in the winter of temptation and affliction and that as honey it may be sweet and comfort others also 43. I am resolved O Lord not to be satisfied until I find within me that thou art well and truly satisfied with me and by my whole life and conversation 44. I am O Lord resolved through grace not to be satisfied until I find thy holy Laws so writ on my heart that my heart be according to thy heart and set and bent and resolved entirely and continually and universally in all things to keep thy Law 45. Ah Lord let me so find thee always within me that I may always do the things and only the things that are right in thy sight 46. Let my Love be so true O Lord for thee as I may only love thy truth that truth only in all things may be only lovely unto me 47. Let my goings out be comings in unto me that is Let all O Lord that I do bring me good yea even my falls make me rise and stand the faster relying on thy strength O God my God who only art able to keep me both from stumbling and from falling 48. Watch O Lord watch over my heart continually that I depaat not from thee but that I do the things always that are in some measure according to thy heart 49. The Lord gives his graces unto those that rightly ask them as we would do water at a Fountain unto all those should come for it in a due and right manner give as well a thousand ten thousand yea a hundred times ten thousand draughts to any one that should need it as one draught alone so our God such is his fulness such is his goodness that he gives as well and as willingly all the desires of our hearts and souls as one desire alone yea as the least desire oâ— all if we do but ask as we should ask and for that end or those ends alone that he hath appointed them and us to have them for to give much or little is to him all alike he cannot such a Fountain is he be emptied no nor lessened at
hath done it with the word of his power with his own voice who is that blessed Arch-Angel of the Covenant of peace and reconciliation 59. When I shall find that sin is thus rooted up in me by the roots then will I say that the Lords hand hath done it for I know that none but the Lord himself can do such wonders and work wonderfully thus 60. When I shall find that sin is destroyed in me then will I say that the Lord hath visited me graciously that he hath spoken peace to my poor soul and revived it and refreshed it then may I say he hath been with me of a truth and not regarded the low estate of his poor Servant 61. When I shall find sin dead then will I say as the Lord liveth and because he was put to death and now liveth I shall live also 62. Sin being thus banisht and cast out then shall I see my self free and taken O Lord into Covenant with thee then will I say I am no longer under the Law but under Grace which gracious favour O Lord do me that I may henceforth and for ever live unto and for thine Eternal honour and glory 63. Ah Lord God that wert fastned to the Cross for my sins and to save my poor Soul fasten my sins there and let them never get loose again and Ah Lord let my Soul live ever in thee and possess thee ever 64. Ah Lord that raignest over all Principalities and Powers raign I most humbly beseech thee over all these Princes and Powers that have Dominion over me that I may be brought into subjection unto thy most holy Laws and live obediently keeping all thy Divine Commandments That thou O Lord God who art God over all blessed for ever and for ever mayest be my God ever over all and bless me also for ever and for ever that I may ever live in thee and thou in me Amen Amen 65. If we be so willing to unstrip our selves of our cloathing at night and lye down on our beds naked to uncloath our selves of all our glory and honour pomp and beauty and to unmind that we are what we are to the end we may enjoy a few hours quiet and rest Ah how willing shall we be to unstrip our selves of all that we possess and of our lives too when that last long night of death shall come and appear to fetch us up from hence that we may be ever with the Lord who is our Eternal and everlasting Portion our infinite and incomprehensible good and blessed rest and peace which shall be as it were ever beginning and never end nor cease 66. Ah our God that art what thou art and yet wilt be pleased to be ours and to own us for thine own 67. Ah Lord God though others satisfie themselves to hear of thee let me not be satisfied till mine eye see thee 68. Though others O Lord be well contented to know thee as men teach Let me I beseech thee be satisfied only with thine own teachings to know thee as thou art to be known that is to see and find and feel thee in me dwelling raigning and ruling there being all in all and bringing into subjection all powers that lift up themselves in me against thee 69. Ah Lord God how much better is it thus to have thee than to have all things out of thee as the Corn Wine and Oyl of the World 70. What Ah what is Earth to Heaven these things below to the things that are above but as pebbles to pearls as dross to gold or as a shadow to the most glorious and most sublime substance 71. The one being life the other death the one fully satisfies the other is vain and brings nothing but vexation of Spirit with it 72. We cannot know God till we altogether forget our selves we cannot hear God till we are altogether deaf to our selves and to all things out of God we cannot see God till we are stark blind to all things besides him and that is not of him we cannot find God as he is untill we have lost our selves and all things else that concerns him not so do and prosper 73. As we know not our latter end nor are not able to number our days so are we not at all able to tell what God is unless he tell us nor to hear him unless he open our hearts and give us understanding nor comprehend him until he hath made us one with himself and given us his own Spirit to know him by 74. Thus if we live to move after his call and be obedient unto his voice we shall so hear that our Souls shall live and for ever rejoyce that we live thus to obey him 75. Ah Lord God Almighty maker of Heaven and Earth thou art the all of all those that know thee they that know thee O God as thou art to be known care to know nothing else thou art altogether alsufficient to content and satisfie them with all pleasures and delights their joys are full when that they enjoy thee And they then say with Jacob that they have all and with David desire nothing else either in Heaven above or Earth beneath Their wills are so swallowed up into thine that they are not theirs but thine and thus to live to thee and in thee they count it only to live and out of thee to be as if they were not as if they had no being 76. I am a Creature but thy Creature O Lord my God I am a man but created for thy self for thy glory and my Everlasting good and happiness and shall I know that I am thus such a one and not be satisfied for is there any thing else that can satisfie me thus 77. Ah Lord thou settest before me life and death good and evil light and darkness Heaven and Earth the things above and the things below Ah suffer me not I most humbly beseech thee in Jesus Christ to prefer pebbles to pearls dross to gold darkness to light death to life evil to good Earth to Heaven these low things here below to those high and most transcendent glorious things above But let me give my self to thee O God that hast provided and given such rich rare and pretious things to me enjoying them let me not care seek for or mind these having thee let me be fully satisfied and rejoyce evermore with unspeakable joy 78. Being thy favorite O God who art King of kings and Lord of lords living in thy fear and favour shall I not rejoyce much more by much than they do or can do that are but favourites to men and have but their favour they shall all pass away but thee and thy word of grace ingrafted in me shall endure for ever and for ever 79. Ah Lord God pour out of thy self into me more and more that I may be made to rejoyce always with unspeakable joy yea that my joys may be full 80. Let mâ— O Lord rejoyce much more
in despising these things here below than in prizing of them and to have a heart to trample them under my feet than to set them up in my thoughts and affections These being low as they are let me O God keep them always under my feet and trample on them as on dirt and dung minding these high and holy things above which thou givest only in love and to those only whom thou lovest 81. Ah Lord God swallow me up into thy self that I may be found there naked and empty of all things out of thee and besides thee so that I may only possess thee my only good bliss and blessedness 82. Ah Lord God set always before my eyes mine Eternal and Everlasting Portion of thy grace and grant that I may be made thereby a worthy partaker of thine infinite and eternal glory in glory so be it Lord so be it 83. If any other condition were fitter for me than my present condition I know that the Lord would give it me and fit it for me and fit me for it 84. Ah Lord give me then a contented and thankful heart always and in all conditions whatever seeing thou hast caused me this day to know a fresh and to be assured that thou art always with me takest care for me and watchest heedfully over me and that thou wilt be ever unto me as hitherto thou hast been my support strength assistance and satisfaction 85. If God be come down into our hearts then all powers that are not of God are brought down are brought under into subjection unto his holy Laws by obedience unto his Divine Commandments for where he is present all that is not of him must absent it self Two being not agreed they cannot live together and the stronger will turn out the weaker 86. Ah Lord let me always eye thee eying of me and let my eye be never off from thee for I know that thine is not nor cannot be off from me 87. Ah Lord let me seriously consider that all things that are done by thee are done for the good of all those that love thee 88. Therefore whatever is done at any time whether in Heaven or Earth let me always say so Lord would I have it seeing thou that art Lord of all things and over all even God blessed for ever and for ever wilt have it so 89. Ah Lord suffer not my vile will to controul at any time thy Divine Will but let thine be always mine and mine according unto thine 90. Ah Lord suffer me never to go about to bring thy will to mine but always and in all things labour with all the Powers of my Soul to bring mine to thine 91. And after I have ask'd let me be content with what ever I have knowing that thou O Lord seest and knowest my condition 92. Ah Lord swallow me up into this blessed condition that all conditions be a like unto me and that I may esteem them blessings and thee and me alike blessed not in a like degree but in truth Thou God blessed over all and I in thee blessed by thee through thy blessed goodness unto me 93. Ah Lord be thou with me where ever I am mine and then I am sure I shall not want any thing because O God thou that art all fulness wilt I know and am sure of continually fill me 94. Thou art O God my good and therefore no evil can or shall come nigh me to hurt me for I know that thou always watchest over me for good and that thou never slumbrest nor sleepest 95. Ah Lord thy shadow is unto me safety let me then always sit under the shadow of thy wings that thy Word in me may be always the food and the life of my Soul 96. Ah Lord God if thou hast made our life thus sweet unto us over all things and above all things it is because thy self being thus the life of our life we may be taught to spend it so for thee as we may ever preserve it for thee to live unto thee for ever and for ever to praise thee 97. Ah Lord I praise thee for that thou hast at this time made me so to touch thee feelingly so as to feel vertue come out from thee into me that mine eyes are opened so as I see thee and know thee to be with me and in me 98. Ah Lord let this light of thine never depart from me but let me more and more be swallowed up into it that by it I may be made more and more able to comprehend it and live in it 99. Ah Lord God let these thy dawnings draw me after thee to follow thee the Lamb of Righteousness where ever thou goest and let me never grow weary nor faint in the way where ever thou shalt lead me or what ever thou shalt bid me to do though it be to spend and to be spent But grant that I may be always thine as I know and see through thy good grace in me that thou art mine 100. Ah what a most blessed thing is it to live in the Peace of the Lord and to dye with his Peace 101. Ah Lord suffer me not to purchase the whole World if it were to be had with the committing of one sin against Conscience for what shall it profit me to gain the whole World if I lose my own Soul 102. Ah Lord how happy is the man that knoweth thee only that is is so swallowed up into thee as he knoweth none nor nothing but thee thou art O God over all and above all in him and he is only thine and none but thine 103. Ah how low how low is it to know any thing but thee O God or incomparison of thee 104. Ah Lord God let me so know thee as I may comprehend thee that I may despise all other knowledge and rest satisfied in this one thing only necessary 105. To know thee the true God and Jesus Christ whom thou hast sent is the depth of Wisdom and all things to it in comparison of it is meer foolishness 106. The Angels know not more and this knowledge of theirs is but in a degree and ah how low and inferiour to that knowledge that is in thee that is O God in thee in thee 107. This knowledge is so sweet in its manifestation that it drowns and consumes both men and Angels in its contemplation 108. This knowledge is so deep and sweet that all both Men and Angels do thee only greet 109. Thus to know thee O God is to be in some measure like unto thee filled with all wisdom and knowledge 110. But this alone is given us all to know from thy self who knowest all things and givest unto none but what thou knowest is for thine own glory O God and their Everlasting good 111. Fill O Lord fill all the hearts of those that unfeignedly seek thee and this thy Wisdom that they may become fools to themselves and only wise in thâ—â— and for thee 112.
of Nature that it may be no longer I that live but thee in me and that even whilst I live here in the flesh it may be by thy Faith and in thy Faith O Son of God who hast loved me and given thy self for me O Lord I believe increase I beseech thee my Faith that I may increase in strength grow in grace from one degree unto another that having finisht my Course here in thy fear I may dye in thy favour and after this life ended live with thee and in thee in bliss and glory world without end Ah Lord God seeing I have taken upon me to speak be thou pleased to hear me and to continue to inspire and teach me to direct and instruct me by thy holy spirit that I may yet prize thee and praise thee for thy late great and sweet mercies poured and showred down so gratiously and plenteously into my heart and soul on my Bed of Sickness Ah how greatly hast thou been pleased to strengthen and comfort me and to make me to rejoyce in and over all my pains yea making the thoughts of Death and that King of terrors to be pleasant and comely in my eyes Ah the Mountains the Mountains the Floods Rivers Wells and Springs of true Joy that thou hast been pleased O God in Jesus Christ by thy holy Spirit to communicate unto my Soul Heart and Conscience feasting and filling me in the assurance of thy gracious and divine love and the pardon of all my sins the flouds O God of thy most sweet and blessed presence have often covered me and swallowed up my soul into the Ocean of thy unexpressible and infinite goodness Thus even thus thou raisest up those that are fallen comfortest those that are afflicted healest those that are sick strengthenest those that are weak enrichest those that are poor cloathest those that are naked and settest poor Prisoners free that they may freely rejoyce in thee and this Joy I am sure none can nor none shall take from me for being thus redeemed and made free by thee O Christ we are free indeed and shall with thee enjoy perfect Freedom and Liberty And now O Lord God what shall I render unto thee for all thy many and special mercies which thou hast been pleased so richly graciously freely and plentifully to pour down upon my poor soul and body I have nothing to offer thee but what is already thine own all is thine O God I confess all mine is thine and I am thine give me I most humbly beseech thee in Jesus Christ who is worthy a heart according to thine own heart that I may walk worthily before thee all the remainder of my days not turning aside or going astray to the right hand of pleasures or the left hand of profits and that I may make it my daily food to keep thy holy Laws yea my Heaven here on earth to do thy will on earth as it is done in Heaven Let henceforth all my thoughts words and actions tend to honour and glorifie thee my good God and Heavenly Father making thine honour only my honour and thy glory my glory redeeming the â—orepast time of my life by an exact serious carefull watchfull and holy walking in thy most holy ways and never be truly satisfied till thou hast altogether sanctified me in spirit soul and body so that I may always see my self in thee and thee in me and know my self to be thine and thee to be mine Ah Lord thou knowest all my thoughts affections and desires yea my very heart what then shall I say unto thee make me I beseech thee such as thou would'st have me to be fit me for thy self and take me to thy self do for me what thou knowest to be best for me that I may glorifie thee not what I will but all that thou wilt both on soul and body that I may live that life and dye that death by which I may glorifie thee most is all and the only desires of my heart and soul so be it Lord so be it Amen Amen Ah Lord God that knowest all things thou knowest what is my end and aim in publishing this thy work thine it is and I trust thou wilt own it and therefore I seek no other power to patronize or protect it and thou owning of it I care not who disown it thou esteeming of it I care not who dis-esteem it thou approving of it I care not who dis-approve of it and that thou wilt do this and bless it too unto the hearts of many O Lord I believe and therein rejoyce that it shall prove a Cordial to some and a Corrosive unto others a plaister of healing to some and a sharp Launce to make the wound deeper of others even as a savour of life to some and of death to others to cast down some and to raise up others to condemn some and to justifie others to give trouble to some and peace to others for some scoffing deriding Ishmaels railing Shimeis sinfull Critical censures I cannot but think it will meet with in this sinfull ignorant Nation and times because it hath not the false visage on which they prize that is the invention and flourishes of the brain of humane Wisdome for such Ah Lord it is not intended neither by thee I know nor by me so I shall not I trust care for or be a whit troubled at such Curs snarling or barking for power I know they shall not have to bite or hurt me But some true Nathaniels in whom there is neither gall nor guile some spiritually wise unto Salvation that are able to judge of all things having that anointing in them that is truth and no lye and which teacheth and instructeth them in the truth many such I hope and trust it shall also meet with and for them and for them only it is I hope by thee O Lord my God intended and so thou knowest it is by me that they with me may together laud and praise thee and give thee the honour due unto thy holy Name for all thy gracious works of wonders wrought in and on my poor Soul I know O Lord that what thou hast thus in the abundance of thy mercies given me is not for my self alone neither may I monopolize it to my self hide away this my Talent in this my house of Clay not keep this Star or rather Sun-light from others but thou expectest and requirest I know well that as I have freely received so that I freely impart of it and give it as thine unto others that I should refresh them with the same refreshing wherewith thou hast refreshed my poor unworthy Soul and comfort and make glad their hearts with the same comforts that thou hast made glad and comforted mine and give them to eat and drink of that true bread and water of life wherewith thou hast so abundantly and frequently fed feasted solaced and refreshed me and as it were inrich them with the true riches of saving
knowledge to know thee the true God and Jesus Christ whom thou hast sent which thou hast I praise thee in some measure caused me to know to my Everlasting comfort thus even thus I am sure O God is thy good will and pleasure that I Communicate and forget not what thou hast in so much love Communicated unto me impart unto them all that thou hast imparted unto me And I praise thy goodness O God for that thou hast given me a heart in some measure heartily to desire it and longingly and lovingly to embrace with much comfort joy and content all occasions whatsoever to do it unto all without any respect of Persons to the poorest and meanest Creature according to the flesh as well as unto the highest in degree and honour among men and that their Conditions blessed be thy Name makes no condition with me for I account my self in very truth Servant and Debtor unto all both bond and free young and old and would with all my heart and soul do for any of them what thou requirest and commandest yea methiâ—ks I would give them what I have and be without it that they might have it I would be hungry and thirsty and poor and naked to feed refresh cloath and make rich their souls I would most sincerely and willingly that they had all of them a double Portion of the gifts and graces of thy holy Spirit which thou hast given me to the end it might be well with them and they might doubly praise thee Ah Lord Stamp on their hearts the seal of thy Divine love hide them under thy most sacred and glorious pavilion that they may be kept safe from the evil day and from the evil one who continually seeketh to devour them swallow them up O Lord into thy self that they may be ever secure dart O God a beam of thy Divine love that by its reflection they may have love to love thee again as thou lovest them not as to measure or degree that I know well is in none either on earth or in Heaven nor cannot be the most blessed Saints Angels Archangels Cherubins and Seraphims were the love of all those lovely blessed and glorious Creatures emptied into one alone then even I know his would come short of thine of thy love O God to that Creature whom thou lovest in the least degree to Salvation for thy love is the love of a God who is love that would be but the love of a Creature thine would be from thy self alone that would be from thee and given by thee so that the love which in sincere love I thus in Jesus Christ beg of thee for them is that they may have true love for thee and thine continually that it may continue with them and in them unto the end till that thou shalt so fill them with that first choice and chief grace that they all may be as thou art in a degree all love Ah Lord God confound I pray thee the wisdom of the wise I mean thou knowest the worldly wise bring down their pride and stain their glory such as will go about to condemn what they cannot mend and to marr what they cannot make turn O God their wisdom as thou did'st Achitophel's into foolishness but preserve them unto the end from such a like end and open the eyes of their understanding that they may see and acknowledge the errors of their ways and come speedily out of them and before ever converted unto thee that their souls may ever live with thee Ah Lord God what a most pitiful thing is it and of all things to be lamented with and in tears of blood that any poor soul should either live or dye in sin that a soul which is of much more value than ten thousand worlds should be for ever lost and undone for such a base vile filthy thing as is sin the very excrements of naughtiness and by which O God thou that art worthy of all honour art so much dishonoured and the Devil so much honoured Ah how is it to be pittied and dolefully lamented that so many poor souls should believe lyes and the Father of lyes the Devil before thy word and thy self who art the God of all truth and love how great Ah how great was thy love O God to save poor lost sinners in sparing and giving thy own only dear and beloved Son to the most shameful and most painful death of the Cross to redeem them from sin death Hell and the Devil and hast thou not promised with him to give them all things And Ah how great was thy love O most sweet Jesus who did'st so willingly submit to thy Fathers will and for the glory which was set before thee for us sinners did'st cheerfully endure the Cross and despise the shame and so sits down at the right hand of thy Father to prepare there a place for us and by thy continual intercession to prepare us for that place and this thy sitting down in glory at his right hand shews plain that thou hast done all that is to be done that can be required all as thou said'st when thou gavest up the Ghost is surely finished our Redemption fully wrought and compleated thy Fathers wrath appeased and he well pleased Ah Christ with and in all humility of heart I speak it thou had'st this spirit in thee thou did'st even as it were thus complain ye will not come to me that ye may have life and did'st weep for and over Jerusalem because her day of salvation was past and thy holy spirit in the mouth of thy Prophet complaineth and as it were lamenteth their sad condition saying Ah why will you dye O House of Israel And further how often doth this thy gracious and blessed spirit O God leave as it were thy bosome and comes and sues and wooes us that he may sanctifie and make us chosen and fit Vessels for thy use Ah Lord thou knowest how often such like considerations have sadened my soul that thou who art the God of truth should'st be thought by so many as it were a lyer for thy Word is not believed by them but made as a thing of nought trampled under foot and cast behind the back and Drunkards Whoremongers and such vile persons words be received entertain'd taken up welcom'd and preferr'd before thee O God before thee and thy Word and all thy most gracious offers of grace Now if such by thy good and gracious Providene come to read these words or of that which thou hast made me to write I humbly pray thee in Jesus Christ thy Son to pity him and pardon him Ah fetch home O God all wandering Prodigals that are in far Countries that is far from thee seeding on Hogs and Harlots which is on their own fleshly Carnal Lusts and vile affections Ah Father I know thee to be full of love and compassion Ah be thou pleased to do for all such as thou hast done for me for such was