everlasting Life Now that the Comfort of these words may be discovered I shall first observe this general Truth from these words God So loved The word So is so unexpressible so admirable so matchless so that Observe Doct. The Love of God in giving Christ is a rich admirable and unexpressible Love For the opening of this mind 1. Scriptures to prove it 2. We shall by way of illustration lay down many things to make good this Truth As for Scriptures mind these Rom. 5.8 But God commendeth his Love towards us in that while we were yet Sinners Christ dyed for us Ephes 2.4 But God who is rich in Mercy for his great Love wherewith he hath loved us even when we were dead in sins c. chap. 3.19 And to know the Love of Christ which passeth knowledge that ye might be filled with all the Fulness of God In 1 John 3.1 Behold what manner of Love the Father hath bestowed upon us that we should be called the Sons of God! chap. 4.9 10. In this was manifested the Love of God towards us because that God sent his only begotten Son into the world that we might live through Him verse 10. Herein is Love not that we loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be a Propitiation for our Sins See John 17.23 I in them and thou in me that they may be made perfect in one and that the World may know that thou hast sent me and hast loved them as thou hast loved me And you may see what is said of Christs Love in that sence Gal. 2.20 I am crucified with Christ nevertheless I live yet not I but Christ liveth in me and the Life which I now live in the flesh I live by the Faith of the Son of God who loved me and gave himself for me Joh. 13.14 Greater Love hath no man than this that a man lay down his life for his Friend Now for Illustration mind 1. Consider in what relation Christ stood with God when God gave Christ 2. Consider to what God gave him 3. How God gave him 4. For whom God gave him 5. God's Ends in that work Lastly The Improvements 1. In what relation Christ stood with God there was the bond of nature in the highest degree for he was his Son Psal 2.7 I will declare the Decree the Lord hath said unto me Thou art my son this day have I begotten thee Heb. 5.5 So also Christ glorified not himself to be made an High Priest but Him that said unto him Thou art my Son this day have I begotten thee 2. There was the tye of singularity and peculiarity his Son nay his only Son as in this 3d of John had God had another Son in that sence though the giving up had been 〈◊〉 high token of Love yet not so much as in â—his sence his only Son 3. As there was such an high Affinity in Nature so there was an unexpressable heighth 〈◊〉 Unity of Affection See upon God's â—â—de in Mat. 3.17 And loe a Voice from Heaâ—â—en saying This is my beloved Son in whom 〈◊〉 am well pleased and chap. 12.18 Behold â—y Servant whom I have chosen my Beloved in whom my soul is well pleased I will put my Spiâ—it upon him and he shall shew Judgement to the Gentiles and chap. 17.5 While he yet speak â—ehold a bright Cloud overshadowed them and â—ehold a Voice out of the Cloud which said This 〈◊〉 my Beloved Son in whom I am well pleased â—ear ye him and in Mark 1.11 And there â—ame a Voice from Heaven saying Thou art my â—eloved Son in whom I am well pleased and in 2 Pet. 1.17 For he received from God the Father Honour and Glory when there came such a Voice to him from the excellent Glory This is my beloved Son in whom I am well pleased So you may see in Christ what a high unexpressable Love he had to his Father his Fathers Will was his Will and to answer his Fathers Pleasure was so great a pleasure to him that Life and all must go as little enough to speak out his Love Now consider all this and you will see that the one might have restrained God and have tyed up his hands from giving up his Son and Christ might have pleaded on the other side Why me Father why me that am thy only Son c. but God looks over all in this act 4. There were bonds of Honour both on one Throne in one Glory It might seem in the eye of carnal reason to be below God thus to abase Christ and that in relation to a point of Honour O what Love must there be to over-look this 5. He stood related to God as the chief est and eminentest object of his Delight Prov. 8.30 Then I was by him as one brough up with him and I was dayly his Delight rejoycing alwayes before him Isa 42.1 Behol my Servant whom I uphold mine Elect in whom my Soul delighteth I have put my Spirit upon him and He shall bring forth Judgment to the Gentiles O now reason from all and you will not be able to express this Love of God in giving the Lord Jesus Christ as he did O admirable Love Secondly Consider to what God gave him 1. To Death Phil. 2.8 And being found in fashion as a man he humbled himself and became obedient unto Death even the Death of the Cross O could not he have given him to suffering and not to death O what Love must that be that did and could cause God thus to overlook as it were the Love and care of Christ's Life and thus to give him to death 2. The Death of the Cross Phil. 2.8 And being found in fashion as a man he humbled himself and became obedient unto Death even the Death of the Cross and Gal. 3.13 Christ hath redeemed us from the Curse of the Law being made a Curse for us as it is written Cursed is every one that hangeth on a Tree the most contemptible Death that could be a cursed Death a shameful dishonourable Death O see what blessed Love was here shewed in this cursed and shameful Death 3. Not only to death and the death of the Cross but to all the Aggravations that could possibly accompany either As thus 1. He suffered as a Sinner in the highest sence 1 Cor. 15.3 For I delivered unto you first of all that which I also received How that Christ dyed for our Sins according to the Scriptures and in the 2 Cor. 5.21 For he hath made him to be sin for us who knew no sin that we might be made the Righteousness of God in him Sins make suffering unsufferable else it is but a chastisment if sin be not in it but if it be then it is a punishment yet even so must our dear Christ suffer as a fruit of the Fathers Love 2d Aggravation was the exercise of God's Rage Fury and Wrath in the Law against Sin this O this in the highest of
were led in that path as Job how deep did he drink of that cup and that by them that pretended most high for God and seemed most zealous against sin And Paul David and others nay our blessed Lord Jesus that pure and spotless Lamb that did nothing but good how was he reviled reproached scorned and almost every action though it was never so much for their good was turned by them as a charge against him and it was not only by the rude mutitude but they that professed to walk closest to God's Will and were in his outward Institutions So it 's no wonder that such in this day deal so with his Servants that desire to follow him according to his Will as blessed be God this poor man doth though it 's like he may not in all things walk up to mens customs that in this day is very much a rule of peoples consciences but according to the just Law of God to whom he can with Job and David appeal for Justification it 's He that searcheth all hearts and knoweth all actions and nothing can be hid from his eyes by all the covers that imitations performances and applause of men can make and put on any to make them appear holy nor yet clouded by all the Censures that can be cast on the sincere but will judge righteously and render to every one according to their deeds but it s no strange thing that these last dayes bring forth such deceitful dealings by them called Brethren for it was foretold by the blessed Scripture that must be fulfilled every jot and tittle of it And being it is so we ought not to be too confident of the truth of a Reports because the Reporter may have fame among some men but let us search and see whether it be so or no and not condemn any man before we hear his cause for that is so far below a Christ-like Spirit that the Romans Law doth not admit of such a thing therefore let all that look on themselves to be Saints that may come to reade this little Piece be warned to take care that they hear the Accused as well as the Accuser and weigh things man equal ballance before they pass sentence lest by rash judging they come under reproof by the justness of the Romans Law And in reading let not thy eye be upon that dirt which is though unjustly cast upon him if so thou art like to reap but little benefit by it for God doth use to answer persons according to the Idols and Imaginations of their hearts but if thy soul be willing to imbrace Truth for the sake of the Father of Truth without respect or disrespect to any mans person I question not but what is here presented to thee by a poor suffering censured Prisoner may be found by thee worth the treasuring up in the Cabinet of thy Experiences and in a day of straits it may prove of great advantage to thee as blessed be God I can say it hath done to my soul and that not only in point of comfort but in finding out many deceits that attend poor souls in this world and in the may they may think leads only to Heaven and it will be enough for those souls that through all the deceits censures and sufferings that attend them in this life that do but arrive at that Haven of Rest where is nothing but a living in unity to all Eternity which will make amends for all their sorrows though never so great But were the Author of this Book as he is rendred I think it should be the work of those that revile him were they what they profess to be rather to pity and pray for him and endeavour his Restoration than to do as they do and have done by him for the punishment due to what they charge on him will be so great that any truly gracious heart can do no other but pity one that is like to undergo it and not envy any happiness that he hath in this world nor do what they can to deprive him of it as some have done by him but I shall say no more to that nor no longer detain thee from what followeth but leave thee to the guidance of the Spirit of Truth and if thou and I do but so walk that we may be justified by God t is no great matter what men judge of us which is and shall be the desire of thy Friend that loves all but desireth to delight in none but for their likeness to Christ Jesus Thine in Him H. F. To the AUTHOR and READER REnowned be they Name worthy of Praise And may it last the longest length of dayes And Praises to the Lord who only gives That Grace whereby thy soul in fuffering lives By which true Grace thy Spirit higher climes Than all Aspersions falsifying crimes Nor can they take that Honour from thy head If Christians truly understand and reade Who reads will find thy heart is not departed From Grace if weighing th' Truth herein asserted Which Demonstrations from thy suffering soul To all Accusers gives a grand Controul Come forth Aspersion Truth doth give a Challenge Thou canst not hold in such a weighty ballance It 's to no purpose let Revilings cease Who seeks his shame will make their own increase Nothing drops from his mouth and contemplation But what 's by ev'ry soul worth acceptation His words are sav'ry speaking prudently His nature's kind full of humility Worthy of prizing All his works are tending To good His actions alwayes well ascending Who can but own his Offering and Oblation Touching his Work done in his Generation To whom be given for his industrous pains All Preservation where true Grace remains With Grace to undergo his Firy Tryals To see the end of pouring forth the Viols And also of all Powers that are infernal And that exalt'd which only is Eternal I take my leave God's Blessing thee attend From him who cannot cease to be thy Friend R. J. To all that in Truth fear the Lord and are faithful Followers of the Lamb or any other that shall reade what I have in this time of my Imprisonment writ BEloved it is below a Natural Noble Spirit much more below Grace to stumble or startle at that which must be and what is daily looked for And lest my weakness in that matter may uphold others in that way and work I shall forbear to enumerate my unheard-of Sufferings and Censures and how much my heart though innocent was brought down by it lest it may be an occasion of some weak ones stumbling at the Truth It is the duty of all and every one of Gods People especially in this day to be a bearer of burdens but not a layer on of burdens upon others and in this to do it in uprightness without deceit There is much deceit attends the Truth that if Souls that walk in the profession of the Truth be not careful to watch they may as many do imbrace that
That heart that 's finally forsaken is not nor cannot be sensible that it is so but the contrary as Psal 13. 77.6 7. 4. They are not tender in point of sin but sin without sence As they in Rom. 2. 5. They do not nor cannot long for the returns of Presence for mind God never leaves a love and longing after Presence in a soul that 's finally forsaken if that be there there is Gods pledge to shew he will return 't is that that keeps possession for God till he comes see Isa 54. at large Jer. 31.18 19 20. There is many more but these also are such by which God hath comforted my soul in a time of dissertion Now there be some general Deceits relating to Conversion and the very body of Religion that I desire to leave to my Children and Friends and those Deceits are as follow 1. Deceit is When souls rest satisfied with something that 's like it and yet at that time and also before never passed under or know what it is to be inriched with the nature of the thing as thus Because Conversion is a change therefore any change because it 's a turning therefore any turning because it 's light therefore any light and because there is life and joy therefore if any it must be that Here was the young man in the Gospel deceived Mat. 19 20. And so the Pharises Luke 18.11 12. And so at the last day Mat. 7.22 2. Deceit is the resting satisfied with some thing that doth and must of necessity accompany the truth of the thing and at that time not see nor know it doth truly arise from the truth in them as the only cause as whether that love that comfort that zeal that sorrow that joy doth arise from the truth in them suitable to John 4.14 Rom. 5.4 2 Cor. 3.18 2 Pet. 1.5 6. 3. Deceit is When the soul doth rest satisfied in a bare saying or sight of the Truth both in nature causes and effects and yet then cannot witness either of them truly in themselves only things to be but not in himself in being like them in Jer. 8. apply 5 7 8 verses and Jer. 23.25 26 27. Rom. 2. 4. Deceit is When souls rest satisfied with their state though without witnessing the Truth truly within yet comparing them with themselves or some others that do more differ from the truth than they suitable to Jehu 2 Kings 10.15 and Luke 18.11 12. 2 Cor. 12. to the 17. 5. Deceit is When souls confidently affirm and are perswaded that they are truly inriched with the Truth and yet at that time they cannot witness those things that are unseparable concomitants of truth As First An universal conformity to Truth as David Psal 119.6 Luke 1.6 Secondly An universal Antipathy to all things contrary to it as in Psal 97.16 Psal 119.104 128.113 Thirdly A living growth in or growing up in the Truth Psal 92.12 Ephes 4.15 1 Pet. 1.22 2 Pet. 3.8 Fourthly A feeding upon it not that there is or will be a perfection in action or else no truth but where Life is in the principle there must be a growth in it and feeding on it these concomitants are or else that soul that lives in sence as it judges of having truth in it is deceived 6. When souls rest satisfied in the increase of some thing that doth accompany the Truth of Grace but see not nor have not an increase in the Power or Principle of Truth only in gifts or profession or outward conformity in their lives without or in language and rest there as if all were right 7. When a soul is brought to a sight of the want of Truth and a sight of the worth of Truth and so cries down the living without it and cries up the riches and glory of it and so rests satisfied in a bare seeing the want and crying up the worth and so contents its self in a bare sight and saying without witnessing that Power Riches and Glory in its own soul These Deceits are some of them that attend souls in relation to Conversion and the work of Grace within But there be some Deceits that attend Men Women in their external Walkings or Worshippings I will only hint a few As 1. When things though false yet in their outward appearance are named as God names such things in Scripture that are his true Appointments and so rest satisfied with the customary titles given to it and never search into the nature or truth of it as Preaching Praying Singing Baptism and breaking Bread c. because it is called so therefore it is so 2. Deceit is When the soul doth enjoy a true appearance or appointment and is taken up there in the bare appearance or appointment yet doth not know the true nature of it in its Life and Power 3. Deceit is When the satisfaction of and love to or delight in the nature of truth is only produced by and measured suitable to the measure of their performance or eloquence in it or the warmth and heat they draw from it and not from the light sence and true enjoyment of Presence But no more at this time Just at this time having a Letter from a Friend I shall leave off what I was going on in and in the next place answer that and therefore I think it necessary to write down the Letter it self and so go on in answering of it Octob. 9th 1663. Dear and pretious Brother YOU whom God hath made instrumental of much good to my soul for which I do bless God and do dayly pray that God would give you suitable upholds to carry you through all your sufferings with such patience as your sufferings call for I must confess in some sence they differ from most for not only I but many were at a stand to hear what Censures were passed upon you by such who appeared eminent for God But since I searched and saw they were false I am ashamed of my readinss to receive them These are to intreat your pains now you are confined to mind your promises in giving me the Heads of what you preached from John 3.16 and that from Phil. 1.23 24. about the Immortality of the Soul and a word or two what that Peace is that is purchased by Christ for Christians and whether a peculiar Grace or State and a word or two of the Difference between the Old and New Covenants In doing of which you will refresh the heart of Your loving Friend in the Lord. Now in answer to this Letter I shall begin with the Heads of what I declared of my apprehensions from John 3. the first part of the 16th verse For God so loved the World that he gave his only begotten Son From the words many rich Truths may be observed but I shall first observe something in general You must mind that these words is a reason of what in the 15th verse is affirmed viz. That whosoever believes shall not perish but have
for Truth that is but an imitation and likeness and not the Truth it self That souls may have a little help in this work could not but lend my small mite of Experience and write down in this day of my Restraint what Experience I have had of the Deceits that attend God's dear Appointments through mens mistakes and also the Deceits that attend Prayer and Sorrow for Sin or at least so pretended and the Deceit in Love and that grand Deceit that attends Souls in Duty calling the heat and warmness and elivations they gain from thence Experiences and Refreshments from Presence These and many more hath my soul met with in my day which for the help of others I have as I said before asserted in this day of my Restraint Though my beloved Friends if any such reade this I must tell you that I am sensible although this time of my Imprisonment be a season fit for this service upon my account yet by reason of that Cloud that 's cast upon me out of pretended ends to bring honour to God And how much dirt is not onely by them cast in my face but in the face of all that shew tenderness and love to me so that it 's a bad season for sure I cannot expect but that even what I have here writ shall meet with many repulses and little acceptance therefore I wish it might have come from some other hands than mine being willing to suffer any thing so the Truth may be at liberty and not suffer for my sake But yet sure some sons of Truth will imbrace the Truth for the Truths sake to them I principally recommend this And I have set down some of those dear refreshing Upholds I have enjoyed from God since I came into this Prison that others may through the knowledge of Prison-mercies learn not to fear a Prison O my Friends a Prison is not to be feared if we suffer not as evil-doers and do but enjoy God there for Gods Presence makes a Prison a Palace None knows the worth power and riches of Presence till it be enjoyed and when enjoyed the less of creature-comforts attend it and the more of sufferings and crosses accompany it the more glorious and sweet it is Now my dear Friends I beg of you in reading what by me is here writ To let your eyes be off from the dirt which is though unjustly cast upon me when you reade any of Gods Love and Beauty and let not the Clouds that lie on me hinder you from searching and imbracing what is here asserted in faithfulness and love for your service That you may by others mistakes learn to stand fast and to keep close to God to Christ and to his Truth following of the Lamb in this latter day with that Love Faith and Patience that the Day and Work of the Day calls for That you may be so I commend you and my own soul to God and the Word of his Grace and remain Yours in that Love of which Christ is the Life P. H. A TABLE of the Particulars that in this Book I have spoken to 1. THe first is to shew the Condition I was in when I first came into Prison and how God did meet me and support me and from what Scriptures God did hand out Comfort to me when I came in first and the particular Censures that were cast upon me Page 1. to 12 2. The second general head is the gain and advantages Saints reap by Sufferings which was by the Lord shewed me from Matth. 16.25 laid down in nine particulars Page 9 to 12 3. Grounds why Saints have no cause to fear Suffering for Christ and his Cause pag. 14-16 4. When men are said to suffer and yet not truly suffering as Saints And when and who are true Sufferers with the Grounds for Saints to suffer rather than to save themselves by accusing others p. 17-20 5. The movings of my going beyond Sea and the cause of my Return inserting the sad Scandals that were cast upon me with my Answers to them p. 21 22 6. Is eight Queries relating to the primitive Appointments of our Lord whether they are now as then to be enjoyed p. 23-27 7. Is five Queries as to the spirits and principles of men in this day whether they are fit to meet God in his dear Appointments yea or no and the sad evil improvements some made of these Queries and my Grounds why I did propound them p. 27-29 8. The Character of a Covetous-minded Rich-man in five particulars with the Description of a covetous mind in poor men in four particulars p. 31-33 9. Several useful Observations for all that fear God and in particular to my Children both as to the nature of Prayer and resisting Sin and the deceit of false-love and the properties of true Love and who they are that are to be loved and what Love is p. 34-46 10. Directions for my Children how to love and who to trust and with what Prudence they should behave themselves in the world p. 49 50 11. What deceit there is in Mourners or in Mourning though it may seem to be for Sin with the true properties of a true Mourner p. 50 51 12. A Discovery of false Joy and Peace and listings up from heat of Duties and Eloquence c. and not from Presence p. 52-55 13. The true signs of a souls enjoying the promised Spirit and they are ten in number p. 55 56 14. How a soul may know when God withdraws whether it be only the Dissertion that is proper to Saints or finally forsaking p. 57 58 15. A Discovery of the sad Deceits that attend Conversion what they are and who they are that are deceived and that in seven Soul-destroying Deceits are laid down p. 58-60 16. Some Deceits that attend men and women in their external Walking or Worship p. 60 61 17. Is an Answer to a Christian Friends Letter as to four things 1. The heads of what I did deliver from John 3.16 About God's Love in giving Christ 2. Was to prove the Soul immortal 3. Whether the Peace that was purchased by Christ be a particular Grace or a state 4. Is the difference between the two Covenants viz. the Covenant of Works and the Covenant of Grace p. 62-104 18. Is fifty one Texts of Scripture that I formerly spoke from with the Doctrine that was observed and my Grounds why I did insert such a Breviate of them in this Book p. 105-116 19. Is to shew a way to prove there is a God without making use of the blessed Scriptures in Answer to some Atheists p. 117 125 20. Is an Answer to another Letter in Answer to three Questions 1. How to answer the Roman Catholicks in point of Transubstantiation 2. How to prove to the Jews and that unanswerably that Christ is come And 3. how many wayes the word Gospel is taken and what is in truth the Gospel p. 126-132 21. I have inserted one of the Hymns I made
and did sing fince I came hither and my Grounds why I did insert it p. 133-138 22. A little brief Account of my Imprisonments with the sorrows and censures that do attend me in these Sufferings p. 138-140 23. Some Account of my Imprisonment in the Tower and of my being brought before the King and the business relating to his Fathers Will left with me p. 140-142 24. The Grounds of my Willingness to go beyond Sea if I might p. 143-147 25. A Letter from a Friend and my Answer p. 148-151 ERRATA Reader IN regard of the Authors condition distance from the Press some Faults have escaped the greatest whereof is the Title over the heads of the pages viz. INNOCENCY though under a Cloud cleared which relates onely to some parts of the Book the proper Titles for each matter being through the misunderstanding of some who put it to the Press omitted The rest of the Faults are more obvious which thou art desired to correct as followeth Page 15. line 16. reade no ground P. 28. l. 18. for fear 1. tear P. 34. l. 17. f. worth r. watch P. 42. l. 28. f. passionate r. patient P. 50. l. 1. r. In a word P. 86. l. 7. f. 10. r. 18. P. 101. l. 28. f. Phil. r. Ephes P. 111. l. 7. f. Proviso r. Prophecy P. 136. l. 16. f. And r. May. Ebenezer Ebenezer The Lord Jehovah is my strength Christ alone is the Foundation of all my Consolation in this day of my trouble and sad rebuke IT was the eleventh day after my Imprisonment before I attained this Book And I rejoyce I have it that the daily Supports I have from God's Promises and his Presence may be by me recorded that if I live I may look over them and remember Prison-Mercies as others who faithfully love the Lord and wait for his Appearance may see and bless God and not fear 〈◊〉 Prison but trust God upon his Word for 〈◊〉 is faithful and to be trusted The first day and night that I came in I was in a maze 〈◊〉 well knowing where I was and â—â—king within I found my heart like Ephraim Jer. 31.18 but I had not long moaned my self but God appeared 〈◊〉 in the 20. verse of that chapter and 〈◊〉 next day after I had for some time sought â—â—d and searched my own heart and â—nd as to Men I was innocent and did judge God would not have called me here but he had some work for me to do For Affliction cometh not out of the dust Job 5.6 At last God moving the people of the house to lend me a Bible the first Scripture I cast mine eye upon just as I opened the Bible was Jer. 18.12 to the latter part of the 18th vers at which the Lord did exceedingly appear to refresh my Soul especially for what I saw in the 12 13 14 17. and 18th verse 't is too long to insert it only upon the 12th verse I set it down in my Concordance O let all that fear the Lord bless him for his Scripture much more for its life which God keeps and lets down to whom and when he pleases Parts may draw and observe good teachings from them to serve othersâ— but not its own Soul unless God give in that Light Life and Spirit that first penned them What Parts can draw may serve Profession but not a Prison and the sights of Death But O when God unlocks the Scriptures and says to the Soul Behold what 's herâ— there 's Life there 's Love there 's a feast all good things And now see the difference between being brought by common gifts 〈◊〉 the Truth and the promised Spirit leading us into Truth as our Lord promised Joâ—â— 15.26 chap. 16.13 And I must say a witness to this that God's way to accompliâ—â— this is by causing the Soul to stand in God's Fear and out of its own wisdom and as to its own state in it self to shrink down into its own emptiness hating all listings up but that by the Son of God in the pure single Wisdom Love and Grace of the Father O had not this Foundation been laid I must have been left being a man of sorrows surrounded on every side and every window is shut but this of the Lord's Love O blessed 〈◊〉 his Name O all you Saints that love and fear the Lord bless him and seek no Foundation but what God hath laid But more of this hereafter The next Scripture by which God did appear to refresh my heart was in John 18.11 't is the words of Christ in answer to Peter who in his mistaken Love tenders Christ's Person more than God's Pleasure and in answer to that Christ lets him know that is Fathers Pleasure was by him higher priâ—ed than his own preservation and saith The Cup which my Father giveth me shall I not â—â—ink it He doth not say the Cup my Father lays upon me but that the Father gives â—â—e All suffering Cups to Christ or his â—embers are Kindnesses they are God's â—ifts Phil. 1.29 they are not to be rejected â—â—t prized and esteemed David in the 118th â—sal takes the Cup blessing God But some will say that was not the Cup of Suffering but of Salvation and 't is true but it was through the Cup of Christ's Sufferings But all the Cups of Suffering to the Saints in the Primitive Times behold how chearfully they imbraced them Acts 5. with Heb. 11. and Rom. 5.1 2 c. Therefore Christ doth not tell Peter I must be forced to take it or drink it but saith Shall I not 〈◊〉 he doth not in propounding this inquire if he should or should not but it is to shew his resolution that he should do it and would do it judging it a higher honour and duty to imbrace God's Pleasure than to seek and imbrace self-preservation contrary to God's Pleasure That made those in Heb. 11.35 not accepting deliverance that was on terms wherein God's Pleasure and Honour should be crossed In this case it waâ— Christ's and it ought to be the generous spirit of all the Sons of Zion to slight nay loath nay hate their own lives when it thus comes in competition with the will of God's now to do God's Will in many wayes Hypocrites in Imitating-Grace may delight fully do it Isa 2.58 Mat. 13.20 21. But the chiefest Testimony of true Grace is to live in the Will of God so that if a Cup of Crosses comes the very sight and sencâ— that the Fathers hand presents it and that his heart is in it so that his Purpose and Pleasure is to be accomplished by it no sooner say is this seen but the heart is silently satisfied and cries out not only like old Eli â—t's the Lord let him do it but as Christ in the Text It is my Fathers Cup and his Gift I am contentably willing to imbrace it O the very sight and sence of this Truth â—â—om this place in John 18.11 God made so refreshing that the
continued sailes of Love Delight is Love in rest or acquiescing in the â—â—ssession of it Delight is the Sabbath of Love Fear is Love in awe of the beloved Hope is Love in expectation Zeal is Love in fire or flame And so Zeal is most properly attributed to God This was a good Friends description of Love And now mind True Love never dies to what it truly loves for it never so loves but where it lives it lives in union and communion with the Good it loves Now that you may the better see the Nature and undeceivable Properties of true Love or Charity see 1 Cor. 13.4 to the 8th vers see the 4th vers Charity or Love suffers long that is it is not easily provoked or a better reading is It 's slow to anger so that a heart truly inriched with this Grace of Love is a mild and meek heart not full of fire and fury but if occasions be offered it is drawn as the God of Love is to afflict but not willingly 2. Not only slow to anger but kind the word may be read Bountiful that is the heart thus loving is not only bound up from fury of one hand but it 's on the other hand at that season full of Kindness or Bounty that is to say it 's not only backward to answer evil with anger but to conquer it with Kindness and readiness to do good against evil 3. It envies not that is to say it doth not only cease from acts of fury shewing it self passionate but at that time it doth not so much inwardly envy or wish hurt to any oâ— grude or repine or envy the good of others though it self may want that good in that sence it 's quietly contented with its own portion and God's dispose to enemies and friends 4. Love vaunteth not it self that is as you may see in the Margent of your Books it 's not inconsiderate but weigheth all things and is serious and considerate in doing and loving and saying it doth not do things rashly 5. It 's not puffed up that is it is not the property of a heart inriched with true Love to swell to be frothyly fil'd with the wind of it 's own conceits as bear gifts or imitating-grace upon every occasion of its own advance will be 6. In the 5th verse It doth not behave it self unseemly This may as an antient Father well observed be taken two wayes As First Love will not suffer a soul to do unseemly or uncomely things So Secondly It accounts no service unseemly wherein it is to serve the party beloved though it be below it self as to men therefore God imbrates an opportunity to love and serve his when in their blood and loathed by others â—e he then washes and binds them up So Christ washed his Disciples feet and counts â—t no way unseemly 7. Love seeks not her own a true Property of Love indeed for it 's the nature of true â—ove delightfully to seek the good of what or of that it loves The word imports as if it were dim-sighted as to self-interest or self-seeking and its great pursuit is delightfully to do good and seek the good of others as if that only practice were its proper posture O this is God-like and Christ-like all self-love and false-love is quite of another nature 8. It is not easily provoked Some read it is not easily imbittered or sharp that is to say it 's not full of biting and cutting words but manifesteth it self smoothly and sweetly though it meets with provocations 9. It thinks no evil that is it is not imagining or contriving evil against any nor easily drawn to think evil of others but as it lives in a harmless way it self so it is ready to judge others do so too not like the spirit of jealousie and the eye of gilt which is alwayes either imagining evil against others or judging others and yet for jealousie it will tell you love makes it do so but true Love is of another nature than either 10. From the 6th verse It rejoyces not is iniquity Some reade and its most properly to be read Rejoyces not in injustice but in the Truth as the words follow or with the Truth that is it cannot rejoyce in any unjust proceeding in afflicting any but its delight is to have the Truth heard and vindicated and Justice to be done justly and for none to suffer without just cause quite contrary to Hypocrites love which if it hath a prejudice against one or if one stands in its way of profit or honour how ready are they to asperse and cast dirt in their faces and if any other cast dirt upon them and bring unjust reproaches or suffering upon one that so stands in their way O how they rejoyce O sad property of professing Love in this day 11. In verse the 9th Love beareth all things Now if we will believe the best Grecians in the reading of these words it is not then so to be read but it covers all things that is if it meets with some evil usage or if it seeth a brother fall into some evil it is so far from being prone to blaze it and report it that its naturally prone to cover and with al lawful-wise wayes to hide it with one hand whilst it helps the fallen soul with the other quite contrary to the way of some in this day though they profess and that highly to Love yet so soon as they hear of an infirmity or that a brother or a sister is fallen they are presently on fire to devulge it even so hasty and greedy that they cannot spare time to search and see whether the report be true or no but as the Prophet saith Jer. 20.10 Report and we will report these Souls in this work do rather think to make themselves Saints than judg themselves to fin but alas though they profess Love they know it not in the day of God they will see themselves mistaken 12. It believes all things that is it is ready to believe all good and good of all though there be some evil in others or against it self yet Love is very dark-sighted as to aggravate it and is very hardly brought to believe it but is ready to think all is like it self 13. It hopes all things that is it is very hardly brought off from expecting of good where good should be or is professed to be and though some contrary evil ariseth yet a heart filled with Love is still hoping the best and making the best of it 14. It endures all things In this much is to be minded it endures any hardships to serve what or that it loves it will and doth indure very harsh and hard dealings from others for its loving one censures and another frowns and another throws dirt in its face as they did in the face of Christ for loving of poor souls And again it will endure much hardship and hard usage from that or them it loves before it will
heat and lifting up must be from presence and yet sometimes this heat joy and liftings up may only arise from the unity of Light and Life for do but mind how Peace doth arise from a bare union of Light and Life if the Liâ—â—â— be but one with the Light and doth not crâ—â—â— it that soul must needs have peace thouâ—â— the Light may be but a deceivable Light 〈◊〉 if the Life cross it not Peace is maintained and many times such souls in such condiâ—â—ons do conclude that their joy and peace from Presence Therefore it doth concus to know the Truth or Deceit of such Jâ—â—â— Peace Confidence and liftings up you 〈◊〉 see the Truth and also the Deceits in what follows As 1. When the increase of Confidence and Comfort doth not crucifie or mortifie sin but leaves the soul or gives the soul as little power against sin as when it first found it unless it be restraint of sin not mortification 2. When the joy and comfort they in joy â—â—â—y it doth not increase more care in their â—atch but the heart growes higher and looâ—er to that work both which you will see by â—â—e difference Christ makes between the â—eart the Devil is cast out of and that the â—evil went out of Mat. 12.43 44 45. 3. When their peace and comfort by it â—â—n and doth allow of private sins and both â—â—â—n subsist and stand together and if at any â—â—e there be any trouble for such sins a litâ—â—â— sorrow with some performance of duties 〈◊〉 lick it whole will end it without fresh â—â—plication of Jesus Christ when as anoâ—â—er heart cannot after so sinning have any â—ace but from a true manifestation of God's â—â—ve in him Psal 51.8 9. Job 34.29 4. When the sence of propriety in God â—â—kes them high and confident in mercies in â—â—es of prosperity but in crosses or time of â—ress their confidence comfort strength â—â—es Prov. 24.10 5. When the soul only takes comfort from or rejoyces in that part of Gods Word which speaks out comfort but not in that which crosses corruption and requires duty Now a true Joy Comfort and Confidence arising from a true sence and sight of propriety in God makes the soul to love and delight in each and all God's Words as well one as the other See Psal 119.57 70 72 77 97. Apply 114. with 127 128 167. 6. If it be true such a soul is made ablâ— by it to distinguish between the comfortâ— that flow from Presence and that which flowâ— from other things though it have an angelical stamp upon it Do but see and apply Exod. 33.23 with 13 14 15. and chap. 34.9 And so David 7. All false Joy and Comfort begins at wrong end as thus all that Joy and Comfort ariseth from sence and 't is sence onlâ— that gives light But true Joy and Comforâ— ariseth from sight and that sight begeâ—sence So Moses Exod. 33.15 16. So Dâ—vid Psal 116.10 and 43.5 That Chriâ—â— intends John 10.4 5. A stranger they will 〈◊〉 hear 8. False Comforts and Joy will triumâ— over unseen sufferings but when seen aâ—â— felt it fails and falls But true Joy Coâ—fort and Confidence from fight of Presencâ— is most weighty and serious and chearfuâ— when suffering for God is seen and felt Sâ—â— David and the three Children and Daniel â—nd Paul and those in Acts 5. ult Rom. 5.1 〈◊〉 c. Now because some have with their false â—iftings up great gifts and parts and so not â—o easiely discovered I will add a few more to â—o these 9. Though they may be imployed in hearâ—ng or declaring such and such Truths yet do not in themselves savour what is said or what they say or declare See John 6.60 10. What ever such have that looks like â—ife yet it lasteth not long but is in a decliâ—ing posture like Ephraim Hos 7.8 9. and Mat. 13.20 21. 11. It 's more troubled at negatives than â—or want of affirmatives that is to say it 's â—roubled sometimes at things that are contraâ—y to life but seldom or never troubled for â—he want of life like the Pharises Luke 4. â— 39 40. So much to this particular In the next place I would lay down some â—rue signes or discoveries whether or no we â—ave the true promised Spirit the Scripture â—peaks of and they are as followeth 1. That heart that is truly inriched with â—he Spirit of God is very chearfully carried â—ut to comply and close with God in all its â—â—ence and sufferings as Job Job 1.31 â—hap 40.5 43.5 So David 2. That heart by it is made capable to distinguish and know God or Christ's Call from all false calls or discoveries though in a night-season See Cant. 5.3 4. 3. To such a heart Presence is alwayes pretious but most pretious when it gives most power against sin Psal 40.1 2 c. 4. It enjoys nothing in its own account livingly and lovingly but when it enjoys Presence clearly Psal 73.25 26. 5. It fears no dammage nor danger when sin is from it and Presence is with it Psal 23.4 27.1 and 112.7 6. It makes the heart to make sweet applications of God's Love in and from the bitterest lashes and out of darkness applications of Light See Micah 7.8 see David 1 Sam. 30.6 2 Sam. 15.24 25. 7. It 's that which leads the Soul not only to but into the Spirit and Life of all Truth John 16.23 imitating-light life and grace only leads to but not into any truth 8. It never gives the soul a fresh view of Christ but it gives the soul a renewed participation of what is communicable by Christ John 16.13 14. 2 Cor. 3. ult 9. It never brings the soul sensible comforts but it livingly sets the soul at liberty not only to live and to love God but it transforms the heart into the Glory of what it injoys or beholds 2 Cor. 3.17 18. 10. That heart that is truly inriched with it it cannot live without it and if without it it is as a body without a soul and mind this that when that lies hid all comforts on this side God cannot make it live till it returns Job 34.29 There is many more but I do but hint at them and that by which God hath in measure satisfied my sould with If any shall object and say that they have felt these or most of these but they are so often eclipsed that they fear it cannot be right and they are often fearful that they had only a sight and taste of it and that God hath finally forsaken the soul I shall only let you know what hath been a comfort to my soul and is a testimony that it 's only Gods hiding his face and not a final forsaking Mind these things 1. If the soul be finally forsaken that soul is willing to be forsaken and not troubled at it but rather rejoyces in it 2. If finally forsaken there is an evil spirit presently possesses it as in Saul 3.
week that is seventy times seven years which is four hundred and ninety years and just so long and no longer it was from the Command to build the Temple to Christ's Death and he dyed in the middle of the last week that is in the middle of the last year This no Jews can truly answer and it being so unanswerable as to them and so full of clear satisfaction as to any doubting Christian I shall say no more in answer to this Question but beg of God it may satisfie you as it hath done me Quest 3. Now in answer to the third and last Question consider these Particulars as to the Gospel 1st Consider whose it 's called God's Mark 1.14 2 Cor. 11.7 1 Thess 2.2 8 9. 1 Tim. 1.11 2ly Christs Mark 1.1 Rom. 15.19 29. 1 Cor. 9.12 18. 2 Cor. 4.4 2 Thess 1.8 3dly The Apostles Rom. 2.16 chap. 16.25 2 Tim. 2.8 2 Cor. 4.3 Secondly What is relatively called Gospel 1. God's Power Rom. 2.16 that is to say his Grace or that wherein his Power is made manifest or implied 2. The Word of God is called Gospel Act. 8. â—5 Heb. 4.2 3. The Doctrine of Grace or Justification is so called apply Gal. 1.6 8 9. with chap. 2.14 and 3.1 2 8. 4. Preaching Doctrine whether true or false 〈◊〉 it relates to or pretends Justification is called Gospel Gal. 1.6 8 9. apply chap. 2.14 chap. 3.1 2 8. 5. Preaching and other Ministrations or imployments for Christ or his Church is relatively called so see Phil. 2.22 chap. 4.3 1 Thess 3 2. Quest What is really the Gospel Answ It is the Deliverance or Salvation of poor souls through the Free-Grace of God by the â—eath and Resurrection of his Son Jesus The â—â—â—ath of which will appear by Act. 15.7 apply chap. 10.30 to v. 44. and chap. 11.1 chap. 〈◊〉 24. Ephes 1.13 chap. 3.6 apply Ephes 6.19 20. with 1 Cor. 5.20 2 Tim. 1.10 see 1 Pet. 1.11 12 18 19 20. by applying Tit. 2.20.11 12. with Col. 1.5 6. see Col. 1.23 24 to ver 28. you will see this Truth by applying God's Promises Isa 61.1 12. with Luke 4.18 19. So much in answer to the Queston What the Gospel is Search the Scriptures and you will see it plain So I shall say no more to that but beg of God we may believe and walk worthy of it Amen Amen Now seeing God was pleased after a small time that I had been close Prisoner to refresh me so much that after many dayes of Prayers and Tears I was made to sing although for so doing I was condemned by some though what I did sing was that which was given in sutable to my Condition and God's dear and gratious Dealing with me and because some did so censure me for it I thought good to insert one oâ— those Hymns I did make since I came here which is as followeth An Hymn I made upon my being taken and carried to Prison with the Matter and Manner August 20. 1663. AS I in Bed asleep did lie A Messenger steps in And saith Arise even by and by Here 's Warrant from the King Your House to search and you to take Nehem. 6.8 12. You must no longer lie I soon did see what plot they make To take my Liberty When I before the Great One came Mat. 10.18 He askt why I did smile Luke 21.12 Good Sir I said do not me blame You 'l find in me no guile Away said he to th' Tower him take And him there close let lye Job 35.12 No words nor excuse must I make Prov. 21.13 But leave my Liberty When I came here I was amaz'd Psal 46.1 and 86.5 But God did me soon meet And bid me not to be afraid Isa 41.10 and 66.5 Rejoyce but do not weep â—y foes though fair I will declare Thy patience I will try Rev. 2.10 〈◊〉 joyce in me doe not despair James 1.2 In me 's thy Liberty No sooner did this Grace appear Psal 42.4 5 6 7. But I cry'd out amain O Lord Let me not now come here And go away in vain Psal 79.9 But let thy hand now shew thy heart Isa 27.9 And let me live on High Psal 86.16 And from my soul let sin depart Isa 33.16 For that 's true Liberty Then did I sing Act. 16.25 and sate me down Letting them shoot their darts At him Psa 126.10 who ever wears the Crown And reigns in all Saints hearts 'T is he that is now Zions King Psal 2.6 And doth the world defie 'T is he which light life doth bring Joh. 14.16 In him 's my Liberty The Lamb of God Rev. 5.12 and 1.5 our King will come In Righteousness to Reign His glorious Kingdome is begun Isa 32.1 and 52.7 He 'll all his foes disdain And he himself will soon declare Rev. 19.6 That Psal 91.13 he alone is He Whom Kings Nations must now fear Jer. 10.7 In him 's their Liberty His Wedding Day with men he 'll keep Rev. 19.7 21.9 3.4 5. 4.4 7.14 And Promises fulfil With garments white he 'll cloath his This is his Father's will That they should all now live with Sheep Joh. 17.21 22 23 24. In union for to be And see themselves redeem'd from sin him Phil. 3.20 To perfect Liberty And I in Christ shall now be blest Phil. 3.8 and 1.23 He unto me did say Now enter thou into thy Rest Rom. 8.1 That none can take away Psal 37.7 Untill my Wrath on men be past Isa 26.20 I 'le shut thee up in me Though into Prison men thee cast I 'le be thy Liberty A Work for thee I have to do Act. 26.16 In which I 'le thee maintain Isa 41.10 My Truth thou must bear witness to Act. 23.11 Whil'st life in thee remain Unto my Truth now set thy seal Rev. 20.4 My Name to Magnifie John 3.33 I will then sure to thee reveal Jer. 33.3 What 's Truth and Liberty Prisons of old were Prophets Schools Psal 94.12 and 119.71 And there were taught by Me To learn my Statutes and my Rules And eke my Majesty And there did I them strength afford Psa 138.3 For all Extremity 2 Cor. 1.4 5 And I who was their only Lord Psal 37.39 27.1 Did give them Liberty When I beheld this Glory bright Psa 118.14.15 Shining in me so clear I then did sing and also write Isa 12.1 2. That others might him fear Psal 34.11 And also may awake and sing Isa 26.19 Tho in the dust they lye In Christ their Dew on them falling By whom's their Liberty In all the world he 'll this declare â—sal 89.10 To all both great and small His Holy Arme he will make bare â—sa 63.12 Before the Nations all And they that will his
must have starved Now after I had been here about seven weeks I was sent for by the King upon the earnest request of a Kinsman of mine and when the King heard my name he remembred that he was told his Father had left something of his Will with me so sent for me as I said a Guard of Musquetiers carried me to Whitehall and after a long time of staying I was carried before the King who had my Articles as I judge in writing after a little mentioning of them he asked me If I had not some Message from his Father I answered I had So he caused all there to withdraw and then I begged pardon of his Majesty that I might either not speak any thing or to have liberty to speak all for said I If I speak all it may offend some and if I speak not all I shall offend my own Conscience So the King very freely told me I had liberty to speak all I then did and I bless God my memory did not fail me but I spake all and each particular as I received it His Majesty was so far from taking it ill that he did kindly imbrace it and told me Had not Parliaments bound up his hands he had answered his Father's Will in these things before now and said he hoped to do it Now what the particulars were I had not before nor now liberty to declare to others But I hope it will be by his Majesty for there is not any man living let him be of what perswasion he will but would have good thoughts of the old King for it and good thoughts of his Majesty for accepting of it unless they be such that will believe nothing for if it were the last word I should speak It was that which did so much tend to the good of the Nation in general and to all that fear God in particular that if the best and wisest men in the Nation should have liberty to have drawn up their desires in general heads for good to this Land they could not have desired better Although I am for this as I have for all things else been censured and condemned some affirming that I had said something to the King that was against the Interest of all Gods People A thing which I had rather die than do 'T is in this as in all the rest for before I was in Prison that was a ground that I was carrying on designs for his Majesty And now I am brought to Prison the same parties said I put my self in Prison as a Cover And with this they have filled the ears both of City and Country And though I had not a bit of bread nor drop of drink allowed me yet they affirmed I had such an Allowâ—nce that it was ill for any to bring any thing to me and if any did come to me they were sadly â—udged and condemned for it Should I but inâ—ert the dealings of this sort of people no Reâ—ords make mention of the like dealing Had I â—een or were I what these sort of people say I am knowing what I knew sure I should do something to answer their Evil with Evil but blessed be God for ever blessed be God I have learned better And I will leave my Cause for God to judge and my Innocency to him to bring out as Gold as Job did Job 23.10 and shall rather study to follow my dear Lord and rest quiet in his Will If he will by this Cross bring me to the Crown I beg no more Come Lord Jesus come quickly Amen Amen I Having a little longer time cannot but add a word to answer some Friends who seem troubled at the report of my being to be sent beyond Sea and the rather in seeing my willingness Now I cannot but say that if they should send me away to any close Imprisonment I had if God see it good rather they would put me to death here being not in a capacity to help my self But should God move their hearts to send me to any forreign place where I might do any thing to get bread and live enjoying God's presence though in a Wilderness I should much more rejoyce to imbrace it than to live here My Grounds are First I see an impossibility to reconcile or satisfie these Spirits that God hath suffered to be incensed against me and raised these Reports of me for although I was and am as innocent as the childe unborn from wronging or betraying any man and I have by my self and friends laboured to satisfie all I can come near yet all comes to nothing but they that first begun it do still foment it The sence that not only I but God's Name suffers by it with the sence of their unheard-of-Evil makes me willing to be where I may rather mourn away my dayes in private where I may not see and hear those Reproaches than to bear the heart-breakings under the daily hearing of it 2dly It was formerly but much more now the desire of my heart to do some service for God and bring honour to his Truth and Name by life or death but these sort of people have and do so daily revile me present all I do to be wicked that whatever I say or do or suffer it 's turned to my Reproach and the dishonour of Truth the sence of which makes me willing to rest in silence and rather to live and die in secret than to be publick for so long as I am I see I am not only the object of their reproach but an occasion of their sin 3dly I am sensible as the case stands that if I were at liberty let me walk never so carefully yet it would not be long before I should be imprisoned again for there is such an evil spirit in some that to save themselves they value it not to betray the Innocent And I have now fresh reason to say so for it 's plainly seen and found out that some who were and still are the instruments to incense Friends against me as being as they affirm one that 's not fit to be believed or trusted nay to live for carrying-on designs for the present Authority These I say have and that at this very time as can be proved gone and informed them in Authority that I am such an Enemy to them that I am not fit for their favour nor to be set at liberty All which considered if I were at liberty I am not like long to abide so 4thly Although I can say That I am willing and desirous to rest silently satisfied in the will of God yet I judge it no sin but rather a duty to be as much as a man can out of the noise of such Cryes and Reproaches which doth not only make my life a dying life But it doth by the daily suggestions of Satan stir up trouble and disquietment in the mind which sin adds so much to the sorrow that often my soul would sink did not God support me
5thly Wheresoever I did or do live it hath been and is my desire to be doing any service or office of love for any and to be bound up from that is death to my very natural disposition But as the case stands with me under this sort of suffering by professing friends whatever I do is converted to evil improvements as witness since I came into this place though I had no allowance yet by the solicitation of a Kinsman â—n Order was procured for my walking sometimes iâ— the Tower with my Keeper I being sickly Prâ—sently these People gave it forth that I had Liberty to do what go where I would so affirmed it as an evidence that my being here was but a cover and yet having this liberty I could 〈◊〉 but improve it to do any service of love for 〈◊〉 of the Prisoners that were in want or sick and that not to my pain but loss as is well knower although not weâ—abâ—â— to bear it yet did takâ— great delight in it when they that did and dâ— carry on this Reproach against me saw it they daily sent in Messages and Messengers to those Prisoners To take care of me and to have nothing to do with me as they told me themselves And so though I see some in want of that Help which I can afford and do delight in the doing of it the Lord knows yet I must forbear doing of it or else in doing I must have my ears filled with such sad sinful Reproaches the sence of which â—ends not only to break my heart but bind up my bands from doing that which is life for me to do 〈◊〉 I am not only made sensible of these 〈◊〉 dangers but senbsile of this present day that 〈◊〉 the time the Scriptures of Truth have to 〈…〉 at Brethren shall betray Brethren a◠〈…〉 â—â—port and we will report Jeâ—◠〈◊〉 〈…〉 Division now is not so much in Pâ—â—â—◠〈…〉 â—ut it 's as much and more in Spirit and 〈◊〉 â—â—â—ple that to unite must be alone the Work 〈◊〉 Almighty God and that in an admirable 〈◊〉 But before this uniting there must and 〈◊〉 be a great of dividing and breaking And beâ—â—â—â— the promised Gathering there will be a greater Scattering in answer to what the Promises and Prophecies in the Scripture hold forth but I shall not enter into that lest I become a new object of somes Reproach but the sence of what I see makes me sensible that it is beyound the art and power of man to turn this stream and should it be by them turned out of one channel into another the Currant will be the same till the promised Power brings the matter into a new Model Till which I heartily wish That all the Sons of Sion would sit still and lie at rest in the Will of God And for my own part I am made so uncapable by these sad Reproaches to help forward the Work of Union that I am made a Cover for the dividing Spirit and to see the present Distractions and the unavoidable Ruine my soul is not able to bear it I had rather if my Father see it good to be enriched with a Jeremiah's frame of spirit to weep alone and to be as a Pelican in the Wilderness mourning away my dayes but in this as in all things I am at the Lords dispose And let him order them to dispose of me as they please So thy pleasure be done O Lord into whose hands I commit my Life and recommend all my Relations and those endeared Friends that faithfully fear thee Amen Amen P. H. A Letter from a Friend Dear Friend I Have heard of your Sufferings and Censures and have by the hand of some Faithful Friends seen something of your Vindication the truth of which I believed before I saw it Only in faithfulness I cannot but tell you that besides what is publickly reported there is something else that is some trouble to some that dearly love you and that is your appearance to withdraw your Affections from some of your Old Friends and your too much love to others which I pray you let me for my satisfaction before I go into the Country have an answer to and not only for my own satisfaction but also to enable me to satisfie any where I come I shall and do daily pray for and sympathize with you as a man of Sorrows for so you are But hoping you will not be troubled at my request I remain Sir yours in the Faith and Patience of Jesus E. D. March the 10. 1663. The Answer My Choice Friend YOurs I received and do rejoyce to see so much of Christian â—eâ—derness towards me and to the Name of Christ it is more than thousands have done that readily believe and readily report but never came to inform or to reform And as to what you say I have heard the same but if you will as candidly hear and consider as you have candidly writ I think you will be satisfied Now that I have forsaken my Old Friends it is in a measure true and I must needs forsake them that will not come near me nor suffer me to come near them and have been and are the chief Instruments in wounding my name and Christ's Name through me and will neither come near me nor suffer others to come but will cast dirt in their faces and must go with it abroad if they shew me any countenance or do me any service this is publickly known and by some felt Now consider and put your self in my condition to forsake where and with whom I am forsaken is no just crime the Righteous God will so judge and my tears for that will witness my Innocency before him to 〈…〉 leave my Cause And as for my too much love or too great to some which is so sadly censure 〈◊〉 answer and that in faithfulness before the Loâ—â— There were so few that did or still do either faithfully love me and in my state and straits faithfully tender or sympathize with me that where I did or do find it I am even overcome with it and t is with me towards them as it was with David's love to Jonathan for sure it was Jonathans sympathizing love which begat that endearedness between them and made them as one soul so it was and is with me 'T is true at first in my sad and unheard-of Sufferings and Censures I looked about me and saw as David did Psal 142.4 and then I was too ready to embrace love and shew love to some whose Principles I could not own when I came to see them but til then I fear I shewed too much love because they appeared to pitty me in my sad trials but God knows I was soon made sensible of that and if I sinned it was there and it hath cost me many tears For I desire to own none but such who live truly in the Life of that Love which lives in Jesus But as for that little Remnant whose soul did and still doth truly sympathize with me and with Tears and Prayers wait at God's Throne for me and for their love to me are Hated and Reproached for my sake I have not nor do not repent of my loving them and had I ten times more than I have it should freely go to reward them for their service and sufferings for me after my Relations were provided for and all is too little my Life cannot answer their love And I know God will not reprove it for as for their Innocency God knows and I know in their love to my soul and body This is a true account of my condition and Affections in this matter So desiring God may keep me and you and all that fear Him faithful owning God's Judging more than mans Censuring walking so that we my render up our Account with joy I Remain Sir Yours in the Truth Tribulation and Travel of Christ Jesus P. H. FINIS