filthinesse oh clense me I shall be cleane whiter thē snow clearer then glasse acceptable to the righteous Iudge God our Father louing and mercifull who neuer refuseth thée oh Christ his welbeloued Son I beseech thée I beseech thée restore mee make glad my heart againe render now thy grace which I haue lost by my trespasse and from presumptuous sinnes oh Lord keepe me set Angells about me to draw me by violence from such vngodlinesse If thou wilt thou canst make me cleane and thou art mercy it selfe and yet hitherto none hath trusted in thée and béen sent away empty and thou art able For all power is giuen to thée in heauen and in earth and at the name of Iesus euery knée must bow both of things in heauen and things in earth and things vnder the earth now I commit my cause vnto thy diuine wisedome and vnspeakable mercy now I craue pardon now I craue grace and continuance therein and in thy good time thou wilt not fayle to giue oh Lord strengthen my patience and increase my faith for thine is the Kingdome the power and the glorie for euer and euer Amen ¶ A comfortable confession and Supplication O Lord God great and fearfull most mighty and full of strength Behold how I mourne in my prayer and am vexed my sorrowes are gone ouer my head my sinnes are bound vp in a bundle to be layd vppon mée nay to be repeated my soule is payned and pined away through my dayly complainyng and yet thou oh righteous Iudge continuest holy and iust in thy iudgements Thy punishments are inflicted vpon me thine arrowes sticke fast in mée thou hast wounded me sore but in mercy thou hast chastened me my rebellious haue deserued much more nay infinite and yet it pleaseth thy Maiestie to be mercifull vnto me euen so Father because it is thy good pleasure to saue sinners of whom I am the chiefe O God of mercies and compassions of Father and Spirit of all comfort and consolation heare thy seruant that putteth his trust in thee heare and giue eare thy mercies haue drawne me vnto thée and thine innumerable compassions haue constrained me to acknowledge vnto thée Holy holy holy true in promise faithfull in mercy full of kindnes long suffering and of great goodnes wonderfull in pity and most wonderfull thou sparest when we deserue punishment and in thy punishment thou art not cruell but seuere nay rather gentle and mercifull euen gentlenes and mercy and méekenes and patience and tender loue and kindnes it selfe I see it I find it I confesse it I giue thanks for it What shall I render to thée I will thanke thée for thou hast wounded and thou hast cured and thou hast healed me thou hast suffered me to slip into the gates of hell and thou hast deliuered me Oh ye that feare the Lord magnifie ye the lord with me oh let vs come before him in the beautie of holinesse for hee hath regarded the contemned estate of a sinner and he onely forgaue my sinne my soule doth testifie make her boast of the Lord I sought him early and late in the day time and in the night season this was my dutie this was my necessity for a while he hid his face from me and I was troubled for a while he was angrie and I consumed for a while he held my sins before me and I was amazed ashamed and confounded but he turned his mercie toward me and I receiued comfort I conceiued hope I perceiued that of very faithfulnesse hee caused me to suffer griefe O magnifie the Lord with mee He woundeth and maketh whole againe he afflicteth and he deliuereth out of affliction he hath shewed me sorrowes and yet in the multitude of the sorrowes that I had in my heart his comforts haue refreshed my soule What comforts Christ my Redeemer my Sauiour my King and my God Verily a King Hee hath taken my sins my presumptuous sins and defaced them Hee hath entred into my soule and dispossessed Satan Legions of Deuils hee hath chased and gotten himselfe the victorie Reioyce in the Lord thy King oh my soule he ruleth in the midst among thine enemies They are brought to nothing that sought to destroy thée Iesus is in the midst of thée euen in thy heart and in thy soule to saue he sitteth there euen there also in thy conscience Oh my redéemed soule betwéene the Cherubins Behold thy king behold and be glad his traine is with him his Angels minister vnto him about thee they stand to driue away the fiends of hell and to defend thée Why then art thou so sad oh my soule what aileth thée Canst thou not rest vpon thy sauiour thy horne and thy buckler and the strong God of thy saluation O put thy trust in God be strong and of a good courage and he shall establish thy heart euen Iesus that deliuereth thée from the wrath to come hee shall so establish thine heart and saue thée O blesse his holie name Oh praise him and magnifie him for euer he onely is the Lord he onlie is the King and there is none but he Oh Iesu I adore and worship thée Oh Christ I praise giue thanks vnto thée Oh Redéemer I confesse vnto thée mine is the shame thine is the glorie mine is the weaknes thine is the power the kingdome the dominion and rule ouer sinne and Satan death and hell Sit still while thou art there behold I scorne at sin and Satan they cannot enter Auant Satan Iesus is the Lord thou hadst miserablie spoiled me but loe my Redeemer is come Auant Satan Swéet Iesu mightie Lord my king thy mercie is swéet thy might is inuincible the scepter of thy kingdome is a scepter of holinesse holinesse the life of the soule the seale of life the earnest of inheritance in the kingdome of Heauen O King in my heart sit still rule still liue still And of a truth will God dwell with man I thanke thée I honour thée I adore thée Oh King liue for euer Amen Amen ¶ A verie devout and zealous complaint against Inconstancy Hyppocrisie I Said I would forsake my wickednesse and eschew mine iniquitie in thy sight I resolued from a perfect and vpright heart oh my GOD thou knowest to giue an euerlasting farewell to my sinne I promised thy most sacred and excellent Maiestie from the ground of my grieued Conscience that I would neuer returne as a Dog to my vomit or a Sow that is washed to the wallowing in the myre But alas how weake how faithlesse how inconstant how forgetfull am I how soone am I caried aside and turned out of the way how is my soule become a snare to take my selfe how is my body a verie bondslaue to the silthy desires of my soule how am I altogether corrupt and abhominable as before I hate my sinne and I commit my sinne I abhorre my rebellion and yet yéeld to my rebellion How is my soule pained and my
shall make her boast of thée and I will euer remember this that in wrath thou thinkest vppon mercy I will remember and not forget euen so be it oh Father of heauen through Iesus Christ thy onely Son in whom thou art well pleased my onely Sauiour in whome I am fully comforted So be it ¶ A Meditation sealing Eternall Election by the consideration of good Education O Most gracious God and louing Father who in thy sonne Iesus Christ before the world was made diddest predestinate foreappoint some men to life and some to death some to glory and some to contempt some to saluation and some to condemnation euen of thy good pleasure I giue thée most humble and hearty thankes that thou hast chosen me to life glory and saluatiō fréely and of thine owne accord when it might haue pleased thée to reprobate mee for euer Euē so Father because it was thy good pleasure a tast of this loue and fauour thou hast giuen me by the reuelation of Iesus Christ Hereby I am assured that I am predestinate vnto eternall life that I haue faith in the death bloodshed of Iesus Christ O Lord encrease my Faith Moreouer this thine ancient loue eternall and without beginning is manifested to me more perfectly for that it pleased thée that I should not only be borne of godly parents embracing thy truth but also by them bee brought vp and trained from my child-hoode in a course of godlinesse and vertue that so comming vnto riper yeares I might bee grounded established in thy holy waies Oh mercifull father my consciēce and sinnes doe testifie against me that I haue not deserued the least of thy mercies that thou hast enriched me withall from my youth vp much lesse this so great and inestimable a grace to bee followed with thy louing kindnesse and attended vppon by thy grace through good education all my life long to this present houre For to confesse a truth I haue not ceased to prouoke thée continually I haue not ceased to transgresse against thy holy Maiesty in thought word and déed euery day yea Lord in great and grieuous sort early and late in child-hood in youth in middle age ignorantly and wittingly weakly and presumptuously in such sort O Father that it is maruaile I am not already consumed already condemned Yet for all this thy louing fauour hath accompanied me euermore and now I perceiue the good fruit of godly education Oh my God what shal I render vnto thée how shall I bee thankefull what recompence dost thou looke for behold I will thanke thée in Christ Iesus thy beloued Sonne and my blessed Sauiour I will trust in thy mercie for euer through him I will liue in thy feare by his power I will serue thée with an vnfeigned heart and glorifie thée in my body and in my soule by the working of his grace and spirit all the daies of my life Oh continue forth thy louing kindnes towards me from henceforth and for euer that being conducted and guided through this vale of misery after I haue a little recouered my strength in bodie and spirit performed my duty patiently suffred and endured the appointed crosse for me I may in the end receiue the end of my faith and hope euen the saluation of my soule and at that great day the glorification of both body and soule through the same my Lord and Sauiour Iesus Christ to whome with thée and the holy Ghost be eternall and equall praise for euer Amen ¶ In weeping mourning and bitter anguish a confession and prayer OH Lord God what shal I say vnto thée O father of Heauen how shall I entreat thée I am horriblie affraid of thy iudgments I am wonderfully abashed at thy glorious presence I am vtterly ashamed of mine own basenes vilenesse wretchednesse dust ashes flesh and blood filth and froth swill and sinne that I am who shall giue me accesse and entrance before thy Maiestie who shall helpe me to entreat for thy mercy The blood of thy Son I haue polluted and profaned the holy spirit of grace I haue refused and despighted I confesse my wickednesse and I am sorie for my sinne The remembrāce therof is grieuous vnto me the burthen thereof is intollerable Albeit my due desert is hell death and damnation Yea and perpetuall vexation and terrour of heart vntill the sentence of destruction and eternall confusion be executed vpon me a spirit of vnquietnesse to trouble mee like the spirit of Saul from henceforth euen for euer Yet I will hope in the multitude of thine vnspeakable mercies vouchsafed to all sinners in their déepest distresse and miserie In most humble wise as it becommeth an inferiour vassall to his puissant and Almighty prince and leige Lord as it becommeth a Malefactor to an vpright and most wise Iudge as it becommeth a very disobediēt stubborne seruant to his carefull Maister and finally a prodigall and wilfull Child to his most kind and louing Father I submit my selfe wholly distasted of mine owne deserts and vtterly detesting mine owne abhominable conceits words and workes against thy holy will and commandement in the wound of conscience and frō the depth of a mind throughly grieued with my rebellions I most submissely and earnestly call and cry vnto thy most gracious Maiesty and mercy for pardon and forgiuenes of my hainous crimes and innumerable transgressions in all humility and tribulation of spirit beseeching thy fatherly goodnes to lay them vpon the backe of thy deare sonne Iesus Christ that All-sufficient Redéemer Reconciler and Sauiour of all those that put their trust in his most absolute merits and perfect obedience O my God my sure trust is in him that he will be pleased to accept me for one of those whome he calleth in the Gospell labouring and heauie laden with their sinnes to be relieued and eased Not for any other reason but because hee is the right hand of thy mercy reached out vnto fainting and languishing sinners whereof I am one Wherfore oh deare Father of Heauen despize me not approaching to the throne of grace in his only name but let me be possessed with the spirit of assurāce of faith sprinckled in my heart from an euil conscience that I may find grace to helpe me now in this time of néed I doe féele certainly I do find the gnawing Worme eating vp my heart the venome of thine arrowes drinking vp my spirit the rigour of thy iudgements perplexing my thoughts the seuerity of thy punishment astonishing and amazing my weake and féeble wits so that I know not either what course to take to ease my selfe either what words to vse to entreat thy mercie O Lord God great and fearfull bee not as a Lyon vnto mee doe not set me as a marke to shoot at for thou neuer failest to hit where thou aymest thou hittest full and home thy shot is of an Archer of perfect strēgth thy strokes are deadly strokes thine arrowes are venomed with the fire of
bodie pined by reason of my sinne I haue fasted and watched and praied and wept and confessed and craued pardon many times carefullie zealouslie vehementlie and haue receiued comfort conceiued hope of thy constant spirit and yet my sinne remaineth O vile wretch O slaue of sinne O drudge of transgression O vassall of Satan that I am what shall I doe whither shall I flie to whome shall I resort for deliuerance If I say vnto my bodie doe not yéeld it resisteth If I say to my soule be not ouercome it denieth I am wholie euill and there is no good thing in me And yet my soule is more abhominable then this for it flattereth me as though it would be obedient to thy spirit oh God but it dissēbleth with me It is a very hypocrite in nothing constant in nothing stedfast but in hypocrisie and in deceipt it promiseth and it performeth not Why art thou so wicked oh my soule why art thou so false vnto me why dost thou suffer Satan thine enemie murderer to poyson thée and so to kill thée Oh miserable soule why wilt thou dye oh Iesus my life why am I departed from thée Oh Iesus come vnto me whom my soule loueth One depth calleth another the depth of misery the depth of mercy My misery is déepe but thy mercie is bottomlesse I know no end therof What then be of good cheere my soule go seeke thy sauiour follow after him Thy sinnes are many and thou canst not number them they are heynous and odious and thou canst not esteeme the abhomination of them but he hath numbred them and he knoweth their quality and his mercies are without number measure Infinite and not definite to any persons thou art not excepted to any times this day thou shalt be accepted as it is written At what time soeuer c. oh put thy trust in God and in the mercie of the most high thou shalt not miscarry he is the helpe of thy countenance and thy God Trust to him rest in him depend vpon him follow after him wrestle with him pray vnto him and leaue him not till hee bestow a blessing till he change thy heart and make it new be not faint neither forgetfull without him thou shalt haue no rest and in him thou shalt find rest and ease and comfort and ioy and eternall life and euerlasting felicitie thou knowest my Soule when thou art with him thou art quiet and glad because of the light of his countenance whē thou art from him thou art sad because thou art from thy ioy Oh séeke thy Redéemer forget not thy Sauiour his mercie is thy life oh life grant mercie Oh Christ saue I am a Leaper if thou wilt thou canst make me cleane I am the Publican oh Lord bee mercifull vnto me a sinner a great sinner a grieuous sinner the chiefe of sinners Truth oh truth oh faithfull and true oh swéet Iesu who hath néed of thy mercie as I haue Thou canst not bestow it on a more néedy begger One drop of thy mercie swéet Iesu sweet Iesu Amen Amen ¶ The dumpe or dampe of despaire whereout the sinner labouring pittifully complaineth and cryeth vnto Christ Iesus to be refreshed and comforted DAy by day haue I cryed vnto the Lord and in the night when I was waking I thought vpon his mercies and called for them For I saw the vglie shape and innumerable multitude of my sinnes crying vengeance day and night I perceiued I was afflicted my soule was heauie and my bodie pined away I cherished my flesh and it would not remaine it rotted and decayed For the anger of the Lord the indignation of the most high I brought my life down vnto the ground and my sorrows were encreased in my heart For I was pained within me and straightned in my owne bowels then spake I to the Almighty and sayd as the Prophet taught me When thou with rebukes doest chasten man for sinne thou makest his beautie to consume away as it were a moath fretting a garment I said My wounds stincke and are corrupt through my foolishnes and I said Thine arrowes sticke fast in me and thy hand presseth mee sore For I prayed daily and yet my sinne remained and the punishment of my sinne was hard vpon me The Almightie had couered his face with glorie and I was troubled I found no rest in my selfe no refuge in any creature Then I stood amazed in the presence of my God For I could not speake my sinnes were vnfolded and layed open in his sight he remembred them So I drew néerer and néerer vnto the pit and accompted my selfe among the wicked I was silent before the high Maiestie and most excellent glorie for I could not speake yea my heart wandred too and fro and I sought to hide me from his presence But it would not be The eye of iealouzie séeth all things and the eare of iealouzie heareth all things and my sinnes were bound vp in a bundle before him and the punishment for them lay sore vpon me Then I said againe Lord doest thou so correct thine own children Where shall the wicked appeare Surely they shall vanish away like smoake when thou appearest to them in glorie But I said of my selfe I am cast out of thy presence and I am numbred with the reprobate generation Neuerthelesse when I saw I could not lie hid neither could auoid the righteousnesse of the righteous Iudge neither yet was able to pacifie my vexed conscience because I found no meanes in my selfe to forsake mine owne iniquitie wherewith I am cloathed as with a cloake When I perceiued indéed and knew throughly the most poore wretched and miserable estate of my soule inclinable to no goodnes but most vehemently with might and maine striuing against it I came trembling vnto the Lord Iesus I made my complaint and powred out my supplication before him in this manner Oh Iesu Christ the onlie Sauiour annointed of the high God Lord of life of consolation and eternitie Redéemer of the world reconciler of man vnto God priest and mediatour for euer cloathed with the flesh of man to deliuer man from hell beneath Oh mercie and goodnesse and compassion it selfe thou makest friendship betwéene life and death mortalitie and immortality corruption and incorruption Heare me O Lord and cast me not away wherefore didst thou die but for sinners why didst thou come into the world but to saue sinners To what purpose didst thou deliuer thy selfe into the hands of sinners Was not this the cause of thy obedient life and cruell death the wretchednes of sinners Why then oh Iesu I am a sinner Why art thou absent from me Thou camst not to call the righteous but sinners to repentance call me then vnto thée and draw me For I cannot come of my selfe I cannot come when I am called except I bee drawen without thée I can doe nothing I cannot come vnto thée Call me draw me come for me I lie in the
and looke vpon mee through thy sonne Iesus Christ and please thy selfe with me Grant that I béeing continually couered with his obedience as with a cloake may be euer acceptable in thy sight accompanie me the whole race of my mortall life with his and thy most sacred and wise grace that so it may appeare to the ioye of my sorrowfull heart and peace of my conscience as also to the sight and perfect knowledge of men that thou art mercifull vnto mee of a truth that thou hast lifted me vp that in thy wrath thou didst punish me but in thy mercy hast compassion on me because I haue hoped in thy holy name and haue waited for thy saluation And as for me my God performe the worke of comfort which thou hast begunne in mee and encrease the ioy of my spirit from day to day and bring me forth into the light a mirrour of thy mercies a spectacle of thine vnspeakable and rich compassions through Iesus Christ our Lord and only Sauiour Amen ¶ The Sinners deniall of himselfe and lowlie petition to bee accepted of God and receiued into his conduct O Almightie God Father of mercies and God of all consolations I haue now séene and had experience in déed and truth that in me that is in my flesh there dwelleth no good thing For the very fountaine is corrupted euen my heart within me the fountaine of all my actions I find it indéed full of filthinesse in it selfe full of rebellion against thée hating thy most excellent Maiestie and euen wishing that thou werest no God at all that it might the more francklie and fréely set on fire the whole course of nature in me and so draw me body and soule into the lake that burneth with fire and brimstone Fier that neuer goeth out I doe heere therfore fréely acknowledge and confesse that my destruction is sought mightily maynly by my selfe but my Saluation is of thée I doe vnfainedly repent me of my wicked heart and as héeretofore I haue in vprightnes truth dedicated and deuoted the same vnto thy heauenly protection as thou knowest so now in like manner I wholy resigne my selfe into thy hands beséeching thée to take this vngodly heart and frame it anew to make it pliable and fit for thy selfe I know thou hast no néed of my seruice for thou canst command the stones and they will arise and prayse thée But yet seeing I wholy deny my selfe and betake my life to the good gouernmēt of thy Sonne Iesus Christ my blessed Sauiour I beséech thée oh Lord I beseech thée accept the soule of thy servant Let me now sée and experience the power of Christ against Satan I haue experienced mine owne power which is weaknesse not able to encounter with the strong man The life that héereafter I shall liue let me liue it wholy oh mercifull Father by the faith in the death of Iesus Christ and let Christ liue in me by his gracious and sanctifying spirit that from henceforth I may vnfainedly detest and abhorre my former wickednes and may be renewed as a garment and receiue the Kingdome of Christ in my conscience as a Child euen so Father of heauen so be it For thou hast magnified thy mercies in me and so magnifie them for euer Thou hast disappointed Satan of my soule and so disappoint him still of a truth I perceiue that thou art faithfull and true in thy promises and louest thy Children with an euerlasting loue Glory and honour and great worship and all power might and Maiestie be ascribed vnto thée For thou art worthy oh GOD most high Amen ¶ In the instant and vrgent assault of Temptation a very earnest prayer LOrd why abhorrest thou thy seruant why hidest thou thy face frō me Heare thou in heauen thy dwelling place thou possessor of heauen and earth thou maker of all things thou louer of men thou sauer of soules heare and giue eare and let my prayer enter into thy presence The tempter is ready my heart is weake my soule is wicked I shall cōspire against thee with Satā I shal enter a league with death and hell I am fettered in the chaines of eternall damnation Oh Lord God Almighty strong and mercifull heare thou in heauen thy dwelling place Behold mine owne desires are confederate against me and mine inward affections conspire together to ouerthrow mee Now euen now am I ready to be taken away now my sinful body vexeth my simple soule now my simple soule enthralleth her selfe to my sinfull body Now heare and helpe oh God of heauen my Sauiour sayd it I surely find it The spirit is willing but the flesh is weake Satan is strong hee is very strong he hath strengthened mee against my selfe Oh strength of Israel strength of thy Chosen strength of thy Children strengthen me for my selfe as Satan hath strengthened me against my selfe If thou my God my rocke my refuge will saue who can destroy If thou wilt deliuer who shall imprison If thou wilt but say the word let the iust captiuitie goe frée giue mee the soule oh Satan that I haue loued for euer that I haue elected before the world that my sonne hath redéemed with his precious bloud what Satan What sinne What death What hell What hatred what curse what law what guilty conscience what despaire what damnation can hold it backe Thou art Almighty thou art All-sufficient mighty against all that resist thy might and therfore all these sufficient for all that band themselues against thy sufficiency and therefore for these For these O Lord God most mercifull and louing Father whether they be in mee or about mee thou art Almighty thou art all-sufficient Wicked sinne a guiltie conscience a despairing soule these are within me O God dispossesse them Lawe and curse hatred and hell death and diuell and damnation it selfe these are about me Oh Lord disperse them Arise Lord and let thine enemies be scattered let these that hate thée flée before thée Oh deliuerer of the captiues helper of the afflicted relieuer of the oppressed comforter of the grieued my temptation is at hand my temptation is at hand I fall I fall Lord lift me vp Lord lift vp the light of thy countenance vpon me Where art thou my God Oh my soule what doest thou where art thou my God My soule whither wilt thou what haue I done vnto thee why doest thou betray me But where art thou my God Oh heare me now I call O helpe me now I cry vnto thée The assault is grieuous the violence is villanous the danger is desperate oh wretched creature that I am Who shall deliuer me from this body of death Oh I am weake hearted I am soule sicke I am faint spirited I finde no meanes of resistance Now I fall now I yéeld now I am tempted now I am taken now I consent now I runne headlong vpon mine owne damnation Oh my breast is pinched my heart is pained my soule afflicted my infirmitie surprized