you know they speak truth Flo Why are wee whores Fel, What are we else Flo. Why we are Curtizans Fel. And what difference pra'y Flei. O great great madam your whore is for euery rascall but your Curtizan is for your Courtier Flo He has giuen you a difference now Flei, And indeed Madā I said so for in truth I was very āgry with am but they said you were for euery seruingmā too Flo Did they say so Flei, Yes indeede Madam I hope I haue touch'd you now Flo He hold my life this slaue the Seruingman that was with me this morning has brag'd of my kindenes to him Flei, Nay that 's like lie neuer trust a fellow that wil flatter fleire and fawne for foure nobles a yeare Flo Well I le nere haue Seruingman touch anie linnin of mine agen Flei, Yes Madam a may touch't when t is at the Laundresses Flo I at my Laundresses or else not but what a rascal 's this by this light I le neuer suffer seruingman come neere me agen Flei, Yes Madame to deliuer you a letter or so Fl. By this hand not vnlesse the Rogue kisse his hand first Flei, O Madam why since blew coates were left oft the kissing of the hand is the seruing mans badge you shall know him by 't but Madam I speake something boldly of you now and then when I am out of your hearing to heare what the world wil say of you for you know that 's the way to pumpe filthie wordes out of their mouthes if there bee anie in them Fel. And doe so still wee allow thee to say anie thing for thereby we shall know our friendes from our foes Flei, I assure your Ladiships I loue you and am sorrie for you from my soule although you know it not Flo Wee doubt it not Fel. Come sister will you in Flo I prithee Fleire informe vs how the tide of opinion runs on vs least we be drown'd in the slaunderous imaginations of the world Flei, I shall be very vigilant of your reputations Amb Be so Exeunt Sisters Enter Ruffell Flei, VVho comes heere a Gods-name O my gallant ruffles it out in silke where haue you bin all this while Ruff, Faith at Court Fleire when wert thou there Fl, Faith but yesterday where I saw a Farmers Son sit newly made a courtier that sat in the presence at cardes as familiar as if the chayre of state had bin made of a peece of his fathers Barne-doore O t is a shame I would haue state be state in earnest and in game I like your Courtier for nothing but often saying his praiers Ruff, What I thinke thou seldome faist thy prayers since thou hast almost forgot thy Pater-noster Flei, Faith I pray once a weeke doost thou pray oftner Ruff, I did pray oftner when I was an Englishman but I haue not praid often I must confesse since I was a Brittaine but doost heare Fleire canst tell me if an Englishman were in debt whether a Brittaine must pay it or no Flei, No questionlesse no Ruff, I 'me glad of that I hope some honest statute will come shortlie and wipe out all my scores Fl, But what 's the newes now abroad Maister Ruffell Ruff, Why they say the Courtiers shall make the Cittizens no more Cuckolds Fl. Excellent newes yfaith excellent newes then the Court will grow rich Ruff, Rich Why man why Fl, VVhy then your Courtier will not bestow his mony in buying the Merchants idle commodities to ly with his wife Ruff, Fleire I did but to trie thee the tide of the floud is turn'd man Fl, Then let them sweat for 't Ruff, For what Fl, If they striue against the streame Ruff. No but I meane the Cittizens must cuckold the courtiers Fle, Excellent newes y faith excellent newes then the court will grow rich Ruff, What like your weauers shuttle make cloath forward and backward but how I prithe but harke you Fleire are you capable of a secret Fl, As your common Cockatrice that receiues the secrets of euery man Ruff: Then I must intreat I may trust thee Fl, That 's because I am no Taylor for if I were thou wouldest intreate me to trust thee Ruff, Sirra they say your Ladies are a couple of common Punckes I hope I may trust you with a secret Fl, Sir sir do y' heare do y' thinke they are no worse Ruff, VVorse why can they be worse Fl, O sir I they may be priuate Puncks why I tell you he that takes vp his priuate Punckes linnin were better take vp anie commodity about the Town if t were a commoditie of Mousetrappes a should not loose much by the bargaine Ruff, But hark you Fleire hark you t is suppos'd I can tell you they are a couple of priuate Puncks Fl. Nay then there 's some hope thei le proue honest women Ruff. Yea how Fleire how Fl. Why your priuate punck would leaue being a punck rather then be priuate to one man for nothing and then if al men were like thee they would be honest for thou hast nothing to giue am Ruff, VVhat a cogging fleiring Rogue is this nothing will anger him but do y' heare Fleire art thou a procurer or a knaue for one of them I am sure thou art Fl. A procurer what 's that Ruff. One that procures meanes for procreation vulgarly cald a Pander Fl, By this light now were I a notable Rogue should I denie my profession why I am a procurer sir Ruff, Nay then thou art a Knaue too that 's certaine for there is such a simpathie between a Procurer and a knaue as there is betwixt an Alcumist and a Begger Fl, But looke you sir pra'y wil you tel me one thing now Ruff. VVhat 's that Fl, Are you a VVhoremaster or a Theife for one of them i me sure you are Ruff, By this light now a comes neere mee too why I am a whoremaster Fl, Nay then you are a theef too that 's certaine for your whoremaster alwaies filcheth for victuals for you knowe flesh is mans foode mary sir you cannot be hang'd for 't t is but petti lassarie at moste but you may chance bee whipt for 't and burn'd too but not i th' hand Signior not i th' hand Enter Sparke Sp. Saue ye Gentles Ruff. Then we are enemies to the Iewes Fle. O my good preferrer how does your worshippe you are a stranger heere Sp. Faith I haue been with two Gentlewomen in whose companie thou first sawst vs and there the Knight Sir Iohn Haue-little is so in loue with the younger as a knowes not whether a should reioyce shee had so much beautie or lament because he is like to inioy none on 't Fl, By my troth I tooke him for a Coniurer when I first saw him a talkt so much of his soule and the Deuill Sp: Why a sould his soule to the Deuillman for the veluet that lines his cloake Fl. And when will he giue the Diuell his dew Sp, Nay
Fleire Fl. Women Signior women I heard what a rash Gentleman you are to forsweare your Mistris companie in the verie heat of your affection Pet Hang her hang her shee s a very crickee shee hath written for me three or foure times but I le see her damn'd ere I le come to her woot take anie Tobacco Fleire Fle. No not I I le not make my nose a red Herring I le not hang him i th' smoke Pet Thou art a good Courtier Fleire tha 'st got a sute alreadie Fl, Nay I haue two or three Offices too Pet Prithe what are they Fl: Why I am Yeaman ath ' Iurden Gentleman ath ' smock and Squire of entertaynment for when your Gallants approch I take their in combe for if I stay till their out come the deuill a bit of any siluer sir can I get for your new made Gallants lay all on the backe and spend all at h belly Pet. How doe thy two Ladies liue Fleire Fl: Like two musk-cats in a Coope Pet Why I heere say they liue gallantly Fl, Pheu they why they keepe a little court Pet And what art thou a Sumner Fl. A Sumner why Pet Because thou art one of the harke in thine eare Fl. Well said Caulfe hast bin a sucking all this while for that iest no I haue an honorable place I am one of their leaders for their shooes are so hie and their heeles so short if they should not beled thei 'd play domesticke trickes abroad and show all Pet. Thou their leader why doe they meane to goe to the warres Fle: I thinke so for I am sure here were a couple of gentlemen last night that scowr'd their peeces Pet I thinke Fleir thy Ladies are not wee rich Fle: How can they they spend when others get Pet. Dost heare Fleir woot prefer me to their seruice Fle. What! shall wee embrace shall we haue red-nos'd Corporals here what you rogue will you turne Sumner away you whale-nosd rogue away goe snufle snufle in the Ocean away you slaue Pet Is thy name Fleir tha' rt a flattering fleering cogging knaue Exit Enter two Ladies one singing Fel. His mans red hose were the colour of his nose and his breech was made of blue And he in shape but a French-mans Ape And so sweete sir adieu Holla holla ye pampred Iades of Asia And can you draw but twentie miles a day Flo. Giue me a bowe I le hit the Sunne Fel, Why ti 's impossible Flo No more canst thou hit true felicitie Fel, O I am in an excellent humor now I could laugh daunce leape or doe anie light tricks that belongs to a light wench Flo But looke who 's here Fel, O signeur Fleir how dost how dost man we may bee merrie before thee thou l't be secret wo't not Flo As your Midwife or Barber Surgeon Madam Fel: How lik'st the Citie Fleir ha how lik'st it Flo Faith wel Madam were not your Citizens such heauie head fellowes Fel, That 's a signe they are no drunkards Fle. Indeede Madam drinke lightens the head the heart the heeles the pot the purse but it makes heauie chamberpots full bowels and foule roomes enough Fel: Howe dost like the Gentlemen of this Countrey Fle: I can compare your Gentleman and your Marchant to nothing so fitly as your Flea and your Lowse I had rather trust your lowse with a hundred pound then your Flea with for tie for your Lowse like the Marchant standes too 't you shall knowe where to finde him but your Flea like the Gentleman if you take him not at first sight a slips from you Flo Me thinks they haue a strange fashion heere they take money with their wiues and giue money to their wenches Fle: And good reason too Madam woulde you haue a man bee troubled with a wife as long as he liues for nothing A giues money to his wench to be as soone rid of her as he has done with her Fel: What 's the reason Fleir the Citizens wiues weare all Corks in their shooes Fle: O Madam to keepe the custome of the Citie onely to bee light heeld The Cittie is like a Commodie both in partes and in apparell and your Gallants are the Actors for hee that yesterday played the Gentleman nowe playes the Begger shee that played the Wayting-woman nowe playes the Queane hee that played the married-man nowe playes the Cuckolde and shee that played the Ladie nowe playes the Painter Then for their apparell they haue change too for shee that wore the Petticote now weares the Breech hee that wore the Coxcombe now weares the feather the Gentleman that wore the long Sworde nowe weares the short Hanger and hee that could scarce get Veluet for his Cape has nowe linde his Cloake throughout with it Flo But how dost like the Court Fleir Fle: Well ynough if they did not catch their meate so it comes no sooner from Table but tone fellow has a fatte Ducke by the rumpe thother a slipperie Ele by the taile and an olde Courtier that best knew the tricks on 't was mumbling of a Cunnie in a corner alone by himselfe Fel. What good cheere didst see there Fle, Faith there was much good meate but me thought your faire Ladie was your onely dish Flo. I but that 's a costly dish and will aske rich sawcing Fle. Faith for mine owne part when I had a stomacke I shoulde like it best in it owne naked kinde without anie sauce at all Flo. What 's the newes now at Court Fleir Fle. Faith they say your Ladyes cannot endure the old fashion Spurre they say it hanges to a mans heele like a Wheele-barrow but they loue the fine little Scottes Spurre it makes the Court Gennet curuet curuet gallantly Flo I prethe Fleir howe goes the report of vs two abroad Fle. If I should tell you I feare your Ladiships woulde be angrie Flo. No not a whit Fle, But alas they are your common people they are like your Slippers they are alwayes gaping their mouthes are neuer shut Flo But what say they of vs Fle, Alas Madam their tongues are like your drie leather shooes alwayes creaking Flo But I prethe tell vs what doe they say of vs Fle: I shall offend your Ladiships Flo I tell thee no Fle, But alas Madam I doe not beleeue them because I knowe the conditions of the slaues whie I le tell you their tongues are like the Iacke of a Clocke still in labour Flo. I thinke tha' rt madde I prethee tell vs what they say Fle. I would be loath to displease you Flo I tell thee thou shalt not Fle. Faith they say your Ladiships are a couple of stately Curtizans Flo. Faith that was not much amisse said they no worse Flei, You 'l not be angry with me Flo No a' my word Fle. By my troth they said stately whores Flo What pagan rogues be these were they but roasted Larkes for my sake I would crush em bones and all Fel, Why are you so angry sister