more then to hear the same sinne reproved in publike yet he should as particularly apply it then though he had not in this respect so much reason to apply it as I have to apply these words to mine own soul For the Minister doth not nor can actually and particularly intend every one that is guilty of the sinnes he reproves for he knows not every particular person that is guilty of the sinne he reproves as God doth every one that reades his word Therefore let us take this and apply it to our selves as if God had sent these words written with his own hand to me in particular When it is said that the Scripture is written for our learning c. Rom. 15.4 I conceive the meaning is not only by way of sufficiency but by way of intention efficacy and decree in respect of his people that is not only that there is a sufficient matter in Scripture to instruct us but that God did intend and decree that this place of Scripture should instruct every particular one of his people that is instructed by it 3. And indeed what is the reason that I now reade these words and do now intend to meditate on them Is it not or certainly it ought to be that I should try whether I am such and whether I have such an heart and spirit as these words signifie and if I am not so much as I ought to be that I should humble my self and be as truly sensible and as much affected and much more then I am with those bodily infirmities that lies upon me and if so be there were a receit given me which I had a long time sought for and endeavoured to get being assured that if I had it it would cure me Surely I should not only reade it because I might be able to tell others what would cure such a disease or to enable my self to discourse of that matter but I should read it with abundance of joy and unquestionable resolution to take it Alas Lord why do I not reade thy Word so also where the unquestionable remedies of all spirituall diseases are set down Surely it is my seaselesnesse of the mischiefs of these spiritual distempers that makes me so little affected with grief for them and with joy that I have found out the remedies for them 4. Blessed God it is no more in my power to know thee by the strength of mine own abilities if thou dost not menifest thy self and thy truths unto me then it is for me to see the Sunne without the Sunne therefore Lord do thou take off the Veil that is upon my heart and understanding and that which is upon thy Truths I reade in thy word that my blessed Saviour did rejoyce in spirit and give thee thanks because thou didst hide thy Truths from those that were wise and prudent and reveal them unto babes O that I were of the number of those babes to whom thou wouldest reveal thy Truths Lord give me a powerfull spirituall experimental knowledge of the Truths that are included in these words 5. And holy and blessed Father If thou wilt be pleased to let me know thy minde in thy Word though thy commands should be never so crosse to my corruptions my base corruptions which have hindred me from a world of joys grace and communion with thee which if it had not been for them I might had long ago I will do it by the power of thy might Lordforbid that I should be so wicked as to enquire of thee the Lord which I do or should do as often as I reade the Scripture as we reade the Jews did desire the Prophet Jeremiah to enquire of thee for them though they were resolved before-hand what to do Yet they said they would do whatever thou shouldest command whether it were good or evil Oh that I had at least a heart to resolve to serve thee If I must want let me want riches health liberty rather then grace Rather let me want strength then want a will to serve thee I had as good sinne unwillingly as to do what thou commandest unwillingly Lord give me truth in the inward parts 6. Those things that lie plain in these words is that those that are of a poor and contrite spirit that tremble at the Word of God are highly esteemed of him So that poverty of spirit and contrition of spirit and trembling at the Word of God are the three things that are here so highly commended and prized by God 7. But now let us seriously consider whether we are thus qualified Am I poor in spirit Those that are so have low thoughts of themselves and are not troubled that others have low thoughts of them too They like reproofs better then praises They do not murmure under afflictions but rather wonder they are no more afflicted Is it thus with us 8. Lord If there be any thing of poverty of spirit in me if I take reproofs well or afflictions in any measure patiently certain it is it is not at all from my self I was born with as proud a heart as any and certain I am that I did not change mine own heart Thou takest away the stony heart we do not give thee it 9. But alas Lord I am far from being poor in spirit in any measure according to that which thou in thy Word requirest My passion and the boylings of my heart my loving to be called Rabbi and to be esteemed by others and many other distempers and corruptions of that nature which I have daily to struggle withal evidently prove the pride of my heart nay and the afflictions that thou laiest upon me plainly show what the corruption is that thou intendest especially to cure by the Medicine ofttimes one may know what the disease is and Lord it is in vain if there were no other end in it then to manifest my distempers to thee for me to confesse the secret pride of mine heart the strange windings turnings depths and strange and new Monsters of pride and hypocrisie that I might daily discover in my self Alas Lord thou knowest these altogether and since thou dost so what cause have I to wonder that thou shouldst shine upon such a dunghill as I am But Lord thou that only canst cure me of this pride and hypocrisie of heart for my praiers cannot nay though I consider and am convinced of the desperate wickednesse of mine own heart the vilenesse of my nature the abominations of my life yet these cannot work without thee as a Plaister though it be never so excellent laid on the wounds of a dead man it draws not it heals not so are all considerations and convictions to a dead heart 2. But alas what is there in me whereof I should in any measure pride my self For others to have good thoughts of me is no very strange thing for so they had of the Scribes and Pharisees but for one that knows the basenesse of his own heart the carnal grounds
methods fright the ignorant 1. This is the very method of those Meditations by which every one that is brought home to God is converted For the first thing in conversion is our being convinced of some Truths which conviction raiseth affections for if the truths of God end in conviction and go no further nay if they end in affections only and never come to resolutions of shunning evil and doing good conversion can never be perfected as for example One is convinced that he is a miserable undone wretch by reason of originall and actuall abomination Upon this conviction fear and sorrow are raised yet if these do not work in us a firm resolution of leaving those sinnes we are yet in our sinnes and unconverted 3. There are severall things for the concluding of Meditation as shall appear CHAP. V. Directions for the working of our hearts to be convinced of and affectedwith the presence of God 1. FOR being convinced of and affected with the presence of God it may thus be wrought 1. We are to consider that God is present every where as truly really and essentially as he is in heaven For God did not create heaven to confine him but to manifest his presence for the Heaven of Heavens are not able to contain him for God is neither included by nor excluded from any place and though Jacob saith Surely the Lord was in this place and I knew it not Gen. 28.16 yet we must not imagine that Jacob was ignorant of that truth but did not actually consider it but David in the 139. Psalm is clear in explaining and clearing up the omnipresence of God 2. We must consider that God doth more peculiarly observe his people while they are performing of heavenly duties whether it be while they are speaking unto him or he speaking unto them he doth then more especially observe the motion and frame of their hearts as when we are in any company we do more especially look upon and observe those to whom we speak or who speak to us yet this is to be understood not as if God did observe us more at one time then another in respect of Gods knowledge it self but thus that God is much more offended with us if our carriage and frame of heart be more irreverent and unholy in the time of prayer and Meditation then at such times as we are in the works of our particular calling 3. We may consider with our selves that Christ doth actually behold us especially in these duties of holinesse for it is not the distance of place that doth hin-Christs knowledge and exact observing of us Little did Nathanael think that Christ saw him under the Fig-tree Nathanael did not see Christ nor was he corporally present then yet Christ behold Nathanael when he praied so Christ beheld Steven before the heavens were opened and the opening of the heavens was not that thereby Christ might be enabled the better to behold Steven but that Steven might thereby be the better enabled to see that Christ looked on him without all controversie God knows and observes with what reverence faith love c. we pray for else our praiers would be in vain and our faith also vain for how could he give us according to our faith if he knew not how much our faith were If the inward frame of our hearts were not observed by him then an hypocrite that hath better expressions should get more by his prayers then a true Nathanael that hath a better heart 4. Suppose that thou hadst lived in Christs time or suppose that Christ were now in England consider with what joy reverence and confidence thou wouldest go to him for the pardon of thy sins or for any other mercy thou stoodst in need of Thou maist go so to him now his distance from thee in respect of corporall presence doth not make him lesse able to know thy wants or hear thy praiers nor his being now glorified makes him lesse willing to grant them then if he were bodily present in the room with thee in the form of a Servant as he was once at Jerusalem the glory of Christ doth not hinder his love and goodnesse for Chtist is the expresse image of his Father and God Attributes do not hinder one another The Majesty of God doth not set bounds unto his goodnesse and make that finite nor doth his goodnesse make his Majesty lesse glorious his goodnesse makes his Majesty more amiable and his Majesty makes his goodnesse more wonderfull So neither doth the exaltation of Christ cause him to abate any thing of his goodnesse unto his people but if any way his love be altered it is by being made more then it was and when Christ was upon earth you must have come to him by faith or you could obtain no mercy from him and by faith though he be in heaven you may obtain any mercy now You may consider any one or two or more of these considerations until your heart be so convinced of and affected with the presence of God that you may thereby be the better fitted for the carrying on the duty of Meditation more effectually CHAP. VI. Concerning the Preparatory Praier that is to be used before Meditation THE next Preparatory consideration is Praier and it is to be performed in these words or to like purpose Lord my designe in this duty of Meditation is not to be an hour sequestred from worldly employments for that were to be idle an hour and to encrease my sinnes not my graces but my businesse at this time is to be so convinced and affected with those spirituall Truths revealed in thy Word that I may fully resolve by thy strength and power to reform my life because I can neither understand the things that belong to my peace nor understanding them be convinced of the certainty and truth of them Nay Lord though my understanding be enlightened yet without thee mine affections cannot be enflamed I can neither know resolve nor perrform what is good without thee for from thee comes both the will and the deed of thy good pleasure I beseech thee Lord that thou wouldest give me thy grace to make conscience of performing this duty with my whole strength and not carelesly and perfunctorily And Lord do thou enlighten me with and convince me of thy Truths and so affect my heart with the love of holinesse and hatred of sinne c. that I may thereby be enabled fully firmly notwithstanding all the opposition that the flesh world or devil can make to run the waies of thy Commandements with joy and with speed and when thou hast wrought in me the will so to do give me also the deed and that I may not trust to the strength of my resolutions but to the continuall gracious assistance of thy Spirit for the performance of those things that through thee I shall resolve to do Holy and blessed God Christ hath sent me wishing me to come to thee in his Name for any mercies
this dulnesse and deadnesse of heart that is the just reason why I shed them and if thou shalt once purifie and inflame mine heart by faith and love I shall shed more tears for my wandring thoughts in praier then now I do for all the abominations I am guilty of Alas Lord the ordinary daies of thy Saints are farre more holy then the daies I set apart for speciall service of thee And their thoughts in the midst of their worldly businesses are more devout and zealous then my thoughts in my prayers were alwaies with thee I scarce did any thing though almost of never so small moment but the reason why I did it this or that way was because it was some way or other more for thy glory Lord It is not thy fault for thou dost wait to shew mercy whether my wretched heart will consent to it or no This I do set down as an infallible trurh and let all the world give thee the glory of it All thy waies are holy just and good and thou dost stretch out thine arms to embrace us it is our fault that we do not run into thy bosome the infidelity and other corruptions that are in our bosomes make us think that thou art not willing to receive us and so we not coming we want that experimentall knowledge of thee that would if we had it make us not so timorous of comng to thee as we are Meditat. XXI Before I begin to write I know I have more cause to write in bloud or tears then in ink Can a Mother forget her childe It is not Can a childe forget the Mother nor is it Can a Mother her childe if the childe forget her or Can there be any case wherein the Mother can forget her childe Lord do thoo awaken mine heart for it is asleep Lord do thou raise mine heart for it is dead Do thou thaw mine heart for it is frozen Lord thou art that celestial fire that enflames all thine Angels with love I have no way but to come before thy presence in hope that at the last I shall be thawed if not inflamed thou wilt not put out the smoaking snuffe of a candle I am such an one enlightned and enflamed though now I send forth nothing but an unsavoury stanch What shall I stand imperfect as I am thus speaking what I may and what I have to say to my God Lord thou hast commanded in thy Word that if an adulterer defile a woman and she cry not out then she shall be put to death Lord infidelity hypocrisie and vain-glory are come to undoe me to defile my soul and they have almost perswaded my soul not to cry out to be ravisht is a great affliction but to embrace the adulterer is an abomination If I cry to men for succour if I go to Ordinances alas the adulterer is a strong man he hath locked the doors of my soul and none can break them open but thou only Lord doe not stand knocking at the door of my heart for the strong man will not and I am kept so fast by my corruptions I cannot come to let thee in Lord break open the doors and come in to help me before I am utterly undone as it was with the Levites Concubine so will it be with my poor soul corruption and corruption and sin after sin will so abuse her that she will be at last dead Alas methinks I look upon my poor soul as one looks upon a Ship tossed among rocks in the Seas one sees it and pities it but knows not how to help it there comes a wave and carries it with violence among the midst of the rocks and makes it reel and stagger like a drunken man and then all in the Ship are fain to pump and toil to save their lives at last it is dasht in peeces and all fain to get upon broke peeces of the Ship to swim to the shore if it may be my soul is even labouring for life Lord what wilt thou do wilt thou be as a man astonisht and as a mighty man that cannot help then I am undone then I may say if thou wilt not then farewell all my duties farewell all my graces and all my comforts which I have had in the dear embraces of my God Ah must I not pray but with my tongue Must I have no more comforts but what poor creatures can give me Lord if I must perish let me perish in thy way let me convert many unto thee Though I know my damnation shall be greater if I perish for living so contrary to mine own doctrine Lord I am a poor miserable man and a more miserable Christian thou art I cannot possibly imagine what but I hope Lord I shall know these daies of ignorance and sin will not alwaies last when my change comes I shall no more sin and repent and repent and sin as I do now Oh my corruptions I hope one day I shall leave you all in the grave behinde me The day is coming when while I am praising God you shall not come and lie as a talent of lead upon my soul and hinder my flight come Lord Jesus come quickly Come while my soul is filled with joy to think of thy coming O my God thou art enough for me enough enough my soul can hold no more Lord I am afraid of the joys sometimes I have to think of thee tears for my sinnes are fitter for me then tears of joy yet I dare not refuse them nay I cannot if I would they are so sweet so sweet Heaven is but a greater measure of them Lord thou art enough enough for them that love thee Meditat. XXII To see a dead man arraied with all the richest clothes still there is more horrour to behold him then delight So my poor Soul looks gashly in all the duties I perform I have a cold and dead soul for all them and more terrour there is in the deadnesse then there is comfort in the multitude of them this I know by experience that one looks upon hell upon whatsoever one looks but up-Christ yet Christ is not sweet unto me my dear Saviour to whom I was so dear Lord Jesus give me a heart that may feel thy sweetnesse I am convinced that thou art so but my poor heart hath not enough tasted the sweetnesse of this Truth that all things are dross and dung in comparison of Christ Lord here is mine estate mine health mine life my liberty and all that I have and had I more I would freely give all give but such a heart as I desire and the same will I consecrate unto thee in spirituall affections all my daies now I think thus with my self When I was most desirous of and addicted to humane learning it was wonderfull delightfull to me to be instructed in some new truth or to have some difficult question clearly resolved To reade the Mathematicks was wonderfull delightfull because they prove such strange things
then I have recourse to the Word of God and by that I am assured that all the treasures of wisedom and knowledge are hid in Christ and in his Gospel then further I have recourse to the experience of the people of God in the Word of God and in particular to Paul who being a learned man yet accounted all things as drosse and dung in comparison of Christ I have also recourse to the experience of severall godly Persons I know of the abundant sweetnesse in Christ I have recourse to that small experience I have had of the sweetnesse and excellency of the knowledge of Christ therefore Lord though I have nott at this present the powerful and ravishing feelings of Christs excellency yet assuring my self all these waies whereby I fully do assent to that truth that It is life eternal to know thee and Jesus Christ I do beseech thee O Lord to give me a fuller knowledge of thee in Christ I beseech thee I beseech thee Let not mine undervaluing of this knowledge cause thee to deny it I shall more value it if I had more of it Lord I know if thou shouldest look in me and my life to see what thou canst finde to hinder the granting of this Request thou maist finde enough nay I that know my self not so well as thou dost know enough and enough nay I know nothing to move thee in my self except something I have had from thee those things I have so abused that I know they may be swift witnesses against me bâ—t Lord if thou shouldst give me this knowledge of them I might doe great things for thee Lord hear me Alas Lord my desires to know Christ do even die while I am praying to know him Alas Lord such an heart as I have is fit for none but thee for none in the world can tell what to do with it but thou only It is past the skill of all in heaven and earth but thee it is not in the power of Ordinances and duties if thou should not set in I would pity the soul of my greatest Enemy if I should see it in such continual storms and troubles as are in mine there are new corruptions appear such as I may term them nothing so fitly as sparks of the fire of hell to have ones heart rise against God when the continual desire of ones soul and prayer is that one might be inflamed with the love of God Lord while I am working my heart to a serious thought of thee endeavouring to have mine heart full of admiration of thee and affiance in thee before I pray unto thee that if it may be my praiers may be as an arrow-drawn up to the head but when I go about to pray and send up my Petitions my thoughts of thy glory and goodnesse slack and it fares with me oh my Soul as sometimes it doth with one that is tying knots when one hath pulled the first very hard yet it slacks before one can tye the second If I kept but a strict communion with thee and did as thou desirest Lord why shouldest thou desire us alwaies to be with thee how should we be acquainted with thee farre more then we are and if we knew thee more how should we love thee more and if we loved thee more how should we know thee more for thou revealest thy self to them that love thee Alas O my Soul why should not we alwaies be with God since he gives us leave how gracious art thou to invite such sinners as we are to come to thee For thee to wash our souls clean with the immaculate bloud of the Lord Jesus Christ Alas Lord I am mine own enemy nay I see it and know it and it cannot be otherwise Lord I am so tired out with my corruptions that I am even weary of my life and almost weary of my duties Lord even at this present how when my soul was so troubled that mine eyes were ready to weep there comes a thought of a poor worldly businesse into my soul and my thoughts and sorrows for heavenly matters are gone Meditat. XXIII O my God how coldly without love how doubtingly without faith do I call thee my God! Lord how carelesse am I in thy service how very carelesse how long Lord holy and true shall I be thus laden with corruptions Nay which is my greatest misery I am not but very little sensible of my own vilenesse that makes me that I do not hunger after righteousnesse Blessed Lord I do humbly prostrate my soul before thee and do with all the weak power of my soul importune thee by all the merits of my dear Saviour pray thee to look upon me in mercy When the poor wounded man that went from Jerusalem to Jeriche lay half dead and speechlesse in the way though he was not sensible of his own misery yet the good Samaritan was though his tongue did not could not call for pity yet his wounds opened their mouths wide and spake aloud to the Samaritan Though his eyes shed no tears yet his very heart wept bloud at his wounds and mov'd compassion Like to that poor wounded man am I so weak so sick that I am scarce sensible of mine own desperate condition Lord though my heart be not full of love it is full of wounds Lord thou knowest my miseries I humbly beseech thee to pity me not according to my praiers but according to my wants Lord that I do not desire to serve thee that I do not hunger nor thirst after righteousnesse it is the greatest misery that I have Meditat. XXIV Oh how terrible is the thought of death to me it is not so much for want of faith as holinesse and indeed I finde that I can never with comfort think on death but when I have liv'd very holily before for what will faith in that case help me without holinesse for faith without holiness is not faith but presumption Oh how sweet how dear how excellent a thing is holinesse Oh how full of peace and joy is my soul when I am full of that and yet Lord how carelesse am I of thy service how many times in the day when I might think of thee without any hindrance of my studies do I choose rather to think of vanity O wean my soul O God from every thing that is not thee Fill my heart with thy self dwell in me my dear God Why do I call thee dear When I prefer every trifle before thee O most glorious Lord God whom ten thousand worlds cannot sufficiently praise nor love which art thy self and canst not be more nor canst be lesse how easie Lord is it for thee to change my heart mine heart of stone for an heart of flesh Lord as long as I have this heart of stone there is no hope that I should serve thee with any cheerfulnesse or any constancy Lord hear my praier Meditat. XXV O blessed God If the way of thy providence be such that thou wilt
art well now is nothing that thou art young and strong now is nothing for how many are there that have been strong and well and as young as thou within a very few dayes after have been in their grave That thou must die is certain when where how none knows but he that made thee only this is true that generally men die sooner then they expect 2. Consider that there will be an end of the world as to thee thou must leave riches friends wife children houses lands and thine own body also Thy friends may stand weeping by but they cannot prolong thy life one minute 3. Consider that when thou comest to die it will certainly not repent thee that thou hast spent so much time in prayer so much in meditation so much in holy duties it was never known since the world began that any one did then say O that I had pray'd less though these holy duties now seem irksome and troublesome to thee doubtless then they shall bring more comfort to thee then all those riches and vanities in which thou hast spent so much time and took so much delight in These things are certain and infallible our understandings cannot O that our lives did not deny them Consider how that the dearest frinds thou hast in the world will hasten thy filthy carkass out of the doors they will scarce dare to stay with it alone but say as Abraham did Let me bury my dead out of my sight and then how seldom will they think or speak of thee or if they do what good will it do thee 5. Consider alas poor man whether will thy soul go then to hell or to heaven dost thou know to which doest thou not think thou shalt go that way which thou hast gone all thy life long if thou hast walkt in the wayes of hell how canst thou imagine that at the end of that journey thou shouldst arrive at heaven 6. Consider what good will all thy wealth all thy pleasures all thy vanities do thee at that day they will all vanish as doth the morning dew Alas who knowes not all these things and yet not one of a thousand consider and lay them to heart and to know these truth and live unsuitably to them doth but add to our folly and madness O that they were wise saith God that they would consider their latter end These serious considerations of our death and preparation for it is one of the chiefest points of wisedom in the world 7. Consider if thou miscarry in this great work of concernment viz. thy death thou art undone for ever If thou mightest live again and mend that errour which thou committedst in thy dying ill than there were some hope but it is appointed for all men once to die and but once Affections 1. Abhor sinne It is you and you only that can make that hour miserable unto me Alas O my Soul though we now have slight thoughts of such and such sinnes through the deceitfulnesse of Satan and our own hearts yet at that hour if we had a thousand worlds we would give them all for that which we have so little regarded while we live viz. that we had kept a strict Communion with God and watch over our own hearts 2. Despise the world O ye vanities and fooleries of the world why should I spend my time and strength in following after you What have ye done for me or what can you do when I shall stand most in need of comfort you will not only prove vanities but vexation of spirit Solomon hath tried you and he hath from his own experience and from the teachings of the Spirit hath told me that you are but vanity and all men when they come to die set their Seal to this Truth Shall I to mine own destruction yeeld to your enticements why should I not have the same opinion of you now as I certainly shall have when I come to die 3. Humble thy self before God and cast thy self into his arms of love beg wisedom of him every night I am a day nearer my grave then in the morning I am nearer to it but Lord make me fitter for my grave and when that hour shall come let it not come as a thief in the night to rob me of all my comforts and rather then that hour should not be an happy hour let my whole life be nothing but affliction and misery Alas Lord if thou deniest me this Petition what wilt thou give me Thou hast said O that they were wise that they would consider their latter end and I said Lord teach me so to number my daies that I may apply my heart to wisedom Resolutions O my Soul since things are thus let us not resist known truths shall we neglect these truths because they are plain if they are abstruce then we doubt them If they are plain shall we despise them Dost thou not know how soon thou shalt die then what have we to do that must be done before we die do it with all thy might for the night comes wherein no man works My children are not yet sufficiently instructed in the waies of God I will set apart half an hour in a day to instruct them for this moneth or give so much to the poor every time I misse there is such a neighbour or acquaintance who goes on in wicked waies and my words have so much power with him that I am confident if I do earnestly beg of God to blesse me in the work and take him privately and lay before him his danger and presse him to holinesse he may be wrought upon I have omitted it hitherto but I am resolved sometime within a week to take some opportunity to speak seriously and home unto him or give so much to the poor and so every week give so much to the poor until I have spoke with him c. And since it so much concerns me to be prepared for death I will every day make it one speciall clause of my praier to begge of God that he would fit me for that hour and I will lay up treasury in heaven by giving to the poor and make my self friends of this unrighteous Mammon that when I fail they may receive me into their habitations Conclusion 1. Pray Beg of God that he would encrease in thee strong spiritual apprehensions of death and that the thoughts of death might imbitter every unlawful pleasure to thee Say unto God Lord how few daies are between me and eternity whether of horrour or of glory I am not yet fully satisfied It is a sad thing that a thing of so great concernment I should be uncertain of O blessed God let this Meditation so work upon me that I may not cease to pray unto thee and to examine my self and use all holy means for the making of my calling and Election sure For very shortly I shall be past praying past examining for when thou shalt summon me out of this life then
spiritual distemper or temptation or almost any thing of that nature we retire our selves and powr out our souls in Prayers Soliloquies c. which may not but in a very large sense be called prayer being mixt of such various and different parts sometimes speaking to God and telling him how we stand affected to him and his Ordinances sometimes speaking to our own soul chiding encouraging or instructing of it Sometimes speaking to our selves what we resolve to doe what we intend to say to God c. all these you may finde in Psa 42. and many more of that nature both in that and other Psalmes which may not properly be called prayers but solemn occasional Meditations and the occasions of those Meditations are set down ofttimes in the beginning of the Psalme and they differ from those occasional Meditations of which I spoke in the beginning of this Chapter only in their duration and solemnity as solemn praiers do from ejaculatory prayers and to set down any method for these is not convenient because they observe no method and differ very little in any thing else from that kinde of Meditation for which in this Treatise Directions and Instances are largely set down yet I thought good to set down several Instances of this kinde of Meditations having them by me being taken from one who I suppose little thought that any besides God and himself knew what he said 3. The third kinde of solemn Meditation are those that are upon Scripture the directions for that kinde of Meditation I have particularly set down in a little Manuall entituled A Directory to Christian Perfection and have pursued those Directions in one instance set down in this Treatise and would have set down more but that I was not willing it should swell above the bignesse of a small Manuall 4. The fourth and last kinde of Meditation is upon some practicall truth of Religon many directions for which and many instances of which are set down in this Treatise CHAP. II. That Meditation is a Duty THat this is a duty is evident 1. From the practice of Gods people Gen. 24.63 that this was a solemn Meditation is evident because he went out into the fields to perform it and had no other businesse there but this 'T is not said when he was in the field he meditated as if it were occasionall but to shew that it was a set duty 't is said that he went out to meditate 2. 'T is commanded Josh 1.8 and this duty of Meditation is set down as a chief means sanctified of God for the keeping of the Law 3. It is as a Characteristical difference between a wicked man and a Saint 4. To consider in Scripture and to meditate are Synonima's and the necessity of it appears in this because that the cause of sinne is the want of consideration and not want of knowledge Isa 1.3 and 't is not much for us to hear Sermons nay though we be never so attentive it will not serve the turn Psa 45.10 It is more then to know for who is there almost in the world that knows not that he must die but how few are there that consider it Deu. 32.29 5. The necessity of Meditation appears in this that no man is converted without Meditation for every one that is converted the method is this 1. He hears the Truths of God 2. He is convinced of them 3. He considers and meditates upon them and sees how much they concern him 4. He is affected with them 5. Being thus affected it raiseth holy resolutions of better obedience But it will be Objected alas I am not Book-learned how shall I perform this duty of Meditation This is rather for Ministers c. Ans I may say of Meditation as 't is said of the Mathematicks He that is a rational man and doth but improve his reason though he hath neither tongues nor arts to help him may understand and grow to an extraordinary excellency in those Arts So he that hath grace if he do but exercise and improve it though he hath not learning will excell the learnedest man in the world that hath not grace in the duty of Meditation 't is not learning but devotion that enables a man to this duty 2. Can a man be a blessed man without Learning then he may meditate without it Psa 1.2 Ob. But 't is a very hard Duty Ans 1. That shews it to be an excellent duty for the harder any duty is the more excellent the hardnesse consists in this that 't is contrary to our corruptions and the more contrary any thing is to that which is bad 't is so much the better 2. Can you expect any duty should be easie at first Is there any thing so of temporall things which are of any excellency as Writing Playing on the Lute c 3. Because 't is so powerfull to mortifie corruptions sweet things nourish and bitter things purge therefore if you will only perform those duties that are delightfull they will nourish not purge out corruption 4. Get but your hearts inflamed with the love of God then this duty will not only be easie and delightful but it will be a duty that you cannot tell almost how to avoid for it is as hard not to think of what one loves as to think of what one hates Bid the covetous man not think of his money or bid him think of the things of God and he will finde an equall difficulty in both Indeed the love of God and desire of heavenly things are got by Meditation but when once our hearts are enflamed by Meditation then our Meditations are inflamed by love As an Oven is first heated by fewell and then it sets the sewell on fire and as with the fewel you must put in fire and blow it but afterwards it kindles of it self so the difficulty of Meditation is at first when there is but as it were a spark of love in the heart it will cost him some pains by meditation to blow it up to a flame but afterwards the heart will be so heated with these flames of love that it will so inflame all the thoughts that it will make us not only easily but necessarily to meditate on the things of God 5. The people of God generally have found a great deale of difficulty in praying without a form at first Many godly Ministers us'd a set Form Form of Prayer before their Sermons not many years since and when they and private Christians came to pray at first without a Form they found a strangenesse and an unreadinesse thereunto So it is in Meditation Christians being not us'd to it it will seem a strange and difficult work unto them but I may say of it as it is said of the yoke of Christ Grave cùm tollis suavè cùm tuleris thou wilt finde it very delightfull or at least very profitable Ob. But if it be such a necessary duty how comes it to pass that it hath been
I stand in need of grant these things which I have begged for the Lord Jesus sake Amen This or a prayer to the like purpose thou art to put up unto God but it is to be done with thy whole heart for thou must know that it is by the strength which thou shalt get from God by prayer whereby thou shalt be enabled to perform this or any other duty profitably for it is he that teacheth us to profit he that begins a holy duty without God will end it without God also It is a dangerous thing to think that we can by our natural parts learning or by the strength of grace already received without Gods further assistance perform any thing that can please God or edifie our own sonls For though our Mountain be made strong yet if he shall hide his face there will be trouble We may with much more sense say Now the Sunne shines so bright and the air is so clear that now we can do well enough for a while though the Sunne be ecclipsed then to say though our hearts be never so much inflamed with the love of God Now we are so filled and inflamed by his love we shall do well enough by our own strength for the present we need not Gods further assistance Give us but fewell matter to meditate of and we shall be able to continue and encrease our flames Do not account it a burthen but a mercy and priviledge that God hath necessitated and commanded thee alwaies to draw strength from him CHAP. VII Of Consideration 1. THey must be plain Considerations not intricate and abstruse For the main end of Meditation being the affecting of our heart and reforming of our lives and not informing of our understandings our considerations should be so plain that they may be without difficulty understood 2. It must be certain and evident not controversal and doubtful for the end of Meditation is not properly to encrease our knowledge but to improve our knowledge 3. Much lesse should our considerations be curious and nice speculations or if we choose any Book by reading whereof to help our Meditation we must not choose such as are filled with flourishes and Rhetorick for let a truth be drest never so curiously the wit and eloquence wherewith the truth is cloathed leaves the truth before it comes to the heart as some meats that are made in curious works are spoiled of all those curiosities before they come to the stomack and the Bee lights not upon the Rose which hath the freshest colour and the sweetest smell but upon the thyme that is an Herb of little Beauty Besides Eloquence to them that meditate is much like pictures in Books to Children they neglect their lesson to look on their pictures they will be looking on the pictures while they should be getting their lesson so the fancy will be playing with the Eloquence when the heart should be feeding on and affected with the truths we reade The lesse time the truth staies in the Understanding the better for the work of the Understanding in this businesse is not to retain but to convey the Truths to the heart As Physicians use when they are to give medicines to cure any disease in the bladder they give such as may soonest come to the part affected for if they stay by the way they lose their vertue before they come to the part which they should cure So if the Understanding shall stay dallying with the Eloquence or searching out the meaning or certainty of the truth it considers any long while the heart will lie cold and unaffected all that while It is somewhat like that Story concerning Musitians that were to play before the Emperour of the Turks who were so long tuning their Instruments which they should have done before that he would not stay to hear their musick Therefore let the Truths you consider of to raise affections be plain certain nourishing 4. The 4th Rule is that in case any doubt ariseth upon a plain known Truth for Satan will be subject to cast in doubts against the most evident Truths then do as the Arch-angel did with Satan you may enter the lists with Satan and it may be when you have a little considered and disputed the matter the mist may vanish and the Sun shine clear and Satan being resisted will presently fly but if Satan shall still wrangle and your blasphemous doubts shall not be removed then dispute no more but say as the Arch-angel did the Lord rebuke thee Satan As a woman that is attempted to be ravished will strive and struggle a while and if she findes that she can quickly get loose she flies but otherwise she cries out for help The Arch-angel first disputed but when that would not speedily prevail appealed unto God To this purpose it is good to be exceedingly well grounded in Truths from the Word of God for that is the Sword of the Spirit and that by which our Saviour silenced Satan in all his temptations 'T is a dangerous thing to dispute with Satan by humane reason we must put on the Armour of God if we will be able to stand in the evil day of temptation and when all is done to stand 5. The fifth Rule is that we should not over-multiply our considerations but as soon as by considering of the Truths of God we finde our hearts strongly affected then we are to passe over that part but this Caution must be observed that we must not as soon as we finde our heart never so little affected leave off our considerations The Bee will not go from the flower as long as any honey is easily drawn out of it and indeed it is a temptation which the people of God ought to take notice of That Satan is subject to make one passe over duties before we have drawn half the strength of them as for example When we are confessing of our sinnes as soon as ever our hearts begin in the least measure to be humbled he fils them with joy such joy may generally be suspected to be from Satan or our own naughty hearts not from God Corn when it springs up too fast and grows rank husbandmen cut it down a corrasive that is laid on to eat dead flesh must not be taken off as soon as it begins to smart the Wheat in the stony ground did soonest spring up We should let our considerations take deep root and not passe over to affections and resolutions as soon as ever they take hold of our heart but it is alwaies to be remembred that in case our affections be very much inflamed as soon as ever we begin our considerations we are to yeeld to the Inspirations of God and to follow the leading of the Spirit for this method that is set down is not to binde up and limit the extraordinary working of the Spirit of God but if our hearts be only a little moved we must do as I have said not leave blowing the
not give so much grace as to make me through the abundance of it almost whether I will or no to serve thee yet to whom thou dost give so much grace as to desire more grace O let not this desire which is of thy own infusing be in vain if there be any thing in the whole world that I desire more then thy grace then let me want grace to desire it any more Lord if the reason why thou deniest my praier be because I do not desire as I ought I humbly beseech thee to grant that I may ask aright alas my afflictions lie heavier on me then ever they did and I am more wicked or at least lesse holy then ever since my conversion I was how little am I affected with any thing that belongs to thy service nor yet doth it affect me that I am not affected Lord if there were any in heaven or in earth that could help me besides thee then considering my manifold sinnes I should I but Lord I would not thy mercies are so great go to any other Now Lord now is the time to have mercy upon me I am like the man that went from Jerusalem to Jericho wounded naked and half dead I cannot call for help O let my wounds move thee to compassion If I cold bewail my sinful misery with tears of repentance I know thou wouldest deliver me but I cannot weep nay hardly mourn Oh faint faint is my grief and cold is my love What wilt thou do Lord with one that scarcely from his heart desires to serve thee alas what canst thou do for me more or lesse then to make me desire to serve thee Accept I must or for ever be lost What a low degree of goodnesse am I come unto a Soul full of sadnesse and empty of goodnesse To morrow Lord I am to receive thee into my soul thee my blessed Saviour Lord thou knowest I did not use to have a heart so empty of goodnesse when I expected thee to come next day Meditat. XXVI Lord now I do resolve to serve thee and in this particular especially I will not speak evil of any man what injury soever he both me Now I will so watch over my words that I will not offend with my tongue and that by degrees I may attain some perfection herein I here vow every week between this and the next communion to keep one day so strictly that I will not during that day speak so much as one idle word that day if I do I will give to the poor Lord how excellent is thy service so pure so sweet O that there were such a heart in me that I might for ever serve thee Meditat. XXVII When I reade the story of the Martyrs I do wish that I had lived in those daies that I might also die as they did or methinks I could now willingly lay down my life rather then yeeld to the abominable Idolatry and superstitions of the Sea of Rome but when I search and try my heart I much fear that the reason of this my desire is because I think it easier to lay down my life for Christs sake then for his sake to overcome my corruptions for it being but one act though it hath more pain yet being but of small continuance it is lesse trouble then all my life long to fight against sin and thus I do ill even in my best wishes in divers respects for I chose Martyrdome not because thereby I might more honour God but that I might the sooner and easier come to heaven And again that I think I might content my self though I did not so much hate corruption If I died a Martyr all would be well whereas Though I give my body to be burnt and have not charity it would profit me nothing and to love God it is impossible for him that doth not hate sinne and fight against his corruptions Alas O my soul how weary are we of our spiritual fight and we would fain finde some other way to heaven then by the continuance of it O that I were dead to the world and lived to God how vain is the world yet while we know something better we shall not think so We talk much of the vanity of the world but who beleeves that the world is vanity and vexation of spirit Or who is sensible of this truth Or if he were sensible of it and sometimes affected with it yet it soon vanisheth and we do not live accordingly How much easier is it to speak like an Angel then live like a Saint Meditat. XXVIII Lord that thou wouldst do it for me take my soul and my body what shall I do with them any longer I govern them so ill and indeed am so unable to govern them that they govern me Lord if thou shalt condemn me at the last day I do now justifie thee and testifie to all the world that thou art just though then if such a time shall come I shall blaspheme thee My dear God I have yet a spark of thy love I will not leave that small hold of thee for ten thousand worlds I know Lord there is no dallying with thee What if I spoke with the tongue and writ with the pen of men and Angels it is nothing Lord take a poor soul at his word Lord I am thine and do now give my self and ten thousand worlds if I had them to thee yet when thou dost take from me some poor part of my estate I murmure Alas I have a poor weak heart Meditat. XXIX Lord my knowledge of thee is but small and that which is is but little spirituall or experimentall To know thee by what others write and say of thee is sweet to them that can set their seal to it from their own experience Lord what is it that hath kept me so long from thee or kept thee so long from me I know I have been wanting to thee and to my self Lord take my heart I have too much love for any besides thee though I have too little for thee Oh how sweet are the thoughts of thee and would be sweeter if I thought oftner and longer and more attentively of thee Alas I am almost grown out of acquaintance with thee I do not perceive my corruptions in any thing more then in this that though to think of thee be a thing so easie and so profitable yet I think so seldome My dear God deliver me from the businesse of the world Suits of Law and such things they undoe me they take up my thoughts that I cannot be rid of them I feel upon me the curse which thou threatnest upon the people of Israel If they would not serve thee with joy they should serve strangers with a great deal of hardship I was well while I was with thee then I had my Songs in the night now my daies are turned into the shadow of death Lord draw me draw me make the cords of thy love stronger or rather then
forgets so that if one might gain a world when the heart is overwhelmed with grief or inflamed with love or ravished with joy one could not remember the powrings out of the soul In such cases one may say of such Meditations as St Paul speaks of those glorious things which he saw when he was wrapt into the third Heavens they are neither lawful nor possible to be uttered many times the secrets in our communion with God are of that nature that it is not lawful by reason of that scardal nor possible to utter because the affections being so intensly employ'd invention memory and intellectual actings of the Soul during that time do almost quite cease and indeed whosoever goes about to invent instances of Meditation if it be only a learned man and not holy his studies may exceed his actings that way but if it be an holy experienced Christian as his inward thoughts of love joy grief and admirings of God are above all that his tongue doth or can utter so those secret expressions which he useth between God and his own soul when his thoughts are full of heaven and of God are much beyond what he can invent or by stndy expresseth Therefore since those Meditations that are fullest of devotion cannot be remembred to set down Instances of Meditations except one should take them from some Saint as he was powring out his soul before God in secret one can never set them fully down in secret I say For the soul is never so free nor may be before others as with God alone and the truth is if I had not had these Instances of Solemn Meditation by me I think I should hardly have set down any of that kinde I should only have referr'd him to the Psalms It was so that I wrote these from the mouth of one to whom though unseen I was oft times so near that I could hear his secretest devotions if uttered though but with an ordinary voice I am very confident for his part he thought that none but God and his own Soul were privy to his Praiers I have sometimes considered it as a case of Conscience whether it was lawfull by stealth to hear and afterwards to publish the private Meditations of others but considering how much advantage it may bring to others and how the party himself can suffer nothing in it his Name being concealed by me I resolve to publish them besides I very well know as I said before that the spiritual expressions between God and ones own soul in secret are forgotten almost as soon as ended It is very unlikely that any should remember them ten years after as the most of these are I thought good to give an account of this matter lest I should be thought to have that holy frame of heart which many of the expressions in these Meditations argues that he had that used them and arrogate to my self that which is farre from me If any shall be offended at the brevity and shortnesse of my Directions for this great and weighty businesse of Meditation I shall only say thus much as to that 1. That I am not willing to overcharge or affright new beginners for for such I do very much intend this Treatise with too great a number of particulars 2. I would not have this swell above the bignesse of a Manuall for I have often observed that when one hath perswaded some to buy some Book and told them it hath been but a small price it hath been almost as strong a motive the smalnesse of the price as the goodnesse of the Book and I would not be willing that both these Motives should be wanting to the Buying of this Book As for the plainnesse of the Stile or matter I shall thus excuse it if it oughto be excused I wrote this for the meanest and ignorantest sort of Christians that they might buy and understand it that they might buy it I have made it a Manuall that they might understand it I have made it plain and spoke to them in their own language and to the Learned I say if any such shall reade this Treatise Indocti repiunt coelum and though I highly prize Learning yet I know that as to praier and meditation and all other acts of devotion wherein we keep a strict Communion with God and watch over our own souls an experimental knowledge and acquaintance with and inflam'd affections towards God will more avail us then all the Learning in the world and doubtless it is not generally ignorance in those that live under Ordinances but the non-improvement of the Truths we know that will undoe us if we did but improve these plain truths viz. that God is that there will be a Day of Judgement that we must die that we ought to love God with all our heart with all our soul with all our minde with all our strength that we should do as we would be done to I say if we did but improve these into practice we should attain to more holinesse then if we knew a thousand times more and left those truths as generally men do by them as things forgotten I doe very much think that the truths of Religion have been spun into too fine a thred of late daies and some have observed that fewer have been converted of late years then formerly when fundamentals have been plainly powerfully and practically prest upon the conscience it is an errour to think that notions so they be spirituall cannot be too acute or speculative I have one thing to entreat of the Christian Reader and it was one end of publishing this Treatise that I might with it publish these my desires the thing that I am to request of you will neither be charge nor trouble It is your frequent serious fervent praiers that I desire of you I know it is us'd too much as a complement among Christians to desire prayers of their Christian friends and they are too often superficially promis'd and too seldom conscienciously perform'd nor would I have thee whosoever thou art that fearest God account this my Request as a thing of course and that it is at thy liberty to grant it or no for suppose a poor distressed man overwhelm'd and almost swallowed up with the sense of his miseries and wants should with tears and strong importunities begge relief of thee Dost thou think it were an arbitrary thing when it was in thy power to relieve him or not Mightst thou not justly expect that the the next time thou wentst to pour out thy soul before God that he should keep by him the denial that thou gavest that poor man and give it thee when thou in the distressed thoughts of thy heart madst thy praier to him and dost thou think that the Lord will hold thee guiltlesse when one whose afflictions are many corruptions strong temptations to _____ shall in the anguish and bitternesse of his spirit desire thy praiers and thou refuse or neglect Consider whether at the day of judgement thou wilt have any sufficient excuse to pleade I have sometimes thought that the Bils that have publikely been put up for the praiers of the Congregation have been too little regarded it may be they have been too customarily and formally put up it may be so but it is not good for us to be Judges of evil thoughts little do we know what terrouts and fears and anguishes of spirit overwhelm them while they are so little regarded by us O that we were sensible of others afflictions and sorrows whether spiritual or temporal as they themselves are and as we would have them to be of ours were our souls in their souls stead and if the Lord should so by his providence order it as to bring us into those straits which we saw our Brother in and would not afford him so much as our prayers may we not justly expect that the next time that we our selves are in streights our consciences should take up a Parable and taunting Proverb against us and say as Josephs Brethren did we are verily guilty concerning our Brother in that we saw the anguish of his soul when he besought us and we would not hear therefore is all this distresse come upon us And that which I would desire thee to begge of God for me is That he would give me sincerely to aim at his glory in all my actions but especially those that belong to my Ministry that I might not be as a broken vessell and that he would give me greater discoveries of and love to himself and the Lord Jesus Christ and that he would give me gifts and strength and wisedom opportunity and a heart to serve him and mercies suitable to my wants that mine afflictions may be sanctified my temptations conquered and my corruptions mortified One thing more I am to request of thee that is to do what I know too much neglected by my self and I fear by others Thou art to pray for a blessing upon thy self when thou readest this Treatise and that God would make it a blessing unto others also into whose hands it shall come I desite you that you would help me with your praiers in this particular When we do but take our ordinary daily bread we crave a blessing how much more when we do things that concern our eternall good When we take a Book to that end spiritually to benefit by it do we think that it is in our own power or in the power of any Treatise that we reade without Gods assistance to do us good Nay the Word of God it self is but a dead Letter if the holy Spirit be absent when we hear or reade it But that thou shouldest desire a Blessing upon thy self in reading of this Book is not all I request of thee but that thou wouldest also extend thy prayers further even for others that it may be also for their edification whosoever shall reade it For as we are to pray that every Sermon we hear may be for the spirituall advantage of others as well as of our selves It holds also in reading of Treatises of Devotion FINIS