as if they were made by a feeble and faithless Man I continue to fear and so to offend the adorable Truth of your Word and of your Love by my inconsiderate disquiets Ah my God I detest them from hence forward and will use my utmost endeavours to force them out of my Heart and not to let any thing remain within me that carries with it such an unworthy and criminal diffidence Ah my God let me sooner perish than offend you by fearing and trembling under the shadow of your protection Sustain'd by you and elevated above all that is mortal or created I fear nothing I hope in none nor love any thing but you To assist you the better to confirm this comfort and confidence in your Heart recount often the most remarkable Benefits you have received from God and the occasions you are conscious of wherein he hath exprest his particular goodness towards you Repeat all these to him and remember there are three Histories which your Spouse hears very willingly and that you need not fear to repeat them too often wherefore make them the ordinary subject of your Domestick Entertainments the History of your sinful Life the History of your Redemption and his Death upon Mount Calvary and in fine the History of all his Conduct towards you and the miraculous Succors you have received from his Providence in all those occasions wherein you were in danger to perish and at this very hour in which you speak to him if he had not had pitty of you and heard your Voice in those miserable occasions you know of you had been lost to all Eternity 'T is you my God who reach'd out your Hand and drew me out of the Death of Sin and Misery 'T is you have dry'd up my Tears and broken my Chains Pardon my Ingratitude and heal my Infirmity and Diseases who hast given me Health Hope and Grace hast Crowned me with Benedictions and heap'd thy Benefits upon me and hast revealed to me the secrets of thy Wisdom and most sublime Truths of thy Gospel and from that miserable state I was in which had brought me to the Gates of Hell and even into the Hands of Devils hast elevated me to the rank and condition of Angels bless the Lord O my Soul and forget not his Benefits In fine speak to him of all things and endeavour the most intimate familiarity and secret Communications which one Friend can have with another Exercise them boldly O Devout Soul and fear nothing more than to be afraid or tremble in his presence whom nothing so displeaseth in his Saints as the fears of diffierence and the disquiets of a fearful and Pusillanimous Soul. CHAP. XXI How God whilst we speak to him doth silently speak to our Heart THat which is most advantageous in these sorts of Conversations with God is that though it seems that so long as you entertain him he lets you speak without speaking himself or answering you yet nevertheless it is not so There is a certain voice which is proper only to himself and without the knowledge of your interior Faculties even whilst your imagination understands nothing Prints in your Soul such Verities as his Love would have you know You feel imperceptibly to rise in your mind such Thoughts as comfort you and extinguish your Fears Lights that dissipate your Doubts and Apprehensions Reflections which discover to you what you are to do and which teach you the certain means how you may happily conduct all your Designs It is much that he hears you But when you speak to him with this respectful confidence he cannot forbear answering and comforting you He does it not by forming words in the Air but by applying his Lights his Thoughts and his Sweetnesses to your Heart It is his Heart which speaks to his Spouses and it is a Language they understand FINIS
you say nothing of them wherefore Devout Soul keep no longer silence in his presence as soon as any Disgrace or cross Accident arrives with humility and respect make your Complaint to him if your Confidence be great 't is not necessary to beg his Assistance in express terms it sufficeth with St. Mary Magdalen to present your Affliction before his Eyes so that he has notice of it Behold O Lord how I am Afflicted He takes pleasure to behold an afflicted heart and to comfort it Discover yours to him and let him see all the disquiet and bitterness within it discover all the motions of your disturbed Thoughts from fear or sadness I am full of Bitterness my heart is even drown'd with sadness behold me lost and overwhelmed in an Abyss of Misery Dangers and Darkness have surrounded me I have nothing else to say to you since your Mercy sees my Grief and my Tears and that all my Hope is in you alone Ask your Mercy O God what it ought to do ask your Love the same question and then do what you please CHAP. VI. That God condescends to our weakness in permitting us to seek Comfort from Creatures that finding none in them we may more earnestly return to Him. HE is not angry as I have said elsewhere That during these troubles you Address your self to Creatures to be comforted by them but when they have neither Power nor Will to assist you it is his Pleasure that you come and make your complaint to him of it and in his Arms blame their weakness or ingratitude My Friends have nothing but words 't is to you therefore O Divine Saviour that I come to manifest my pain and to address my Tears And do not only make complaint of the things that trouble you but as soon as you have received any News that pleases you comforts you and causes Hope and Joy to spring up in your Heart do what Fidelity and Friendship requires run presently to him you love who expects you tell him the News and add that it is your greatest comfort that this Charitable Care and Fatherly Bounty of his is a Mark that he is pleased with you For this reason my Heart rejoyceth and my Tongue exults I will rejoyce in God my Saviour and sing to him because he has bestowed Good things upon me CHAP. VII 'T is not displeasing to God to relate our Imperfections to Him. 'T IS another Mark of Confidence that pleases Extreamly this Dear and Devout Spouse to trust him with the knowledge of your Faults even before you make your appearance before your Confessors Tribunal and acquit your self of your Duty of Penance Come and declare to this Aimable Confident what has hapened to you and say with David I have sinned very much in this Action and have done very foolishly My God I have just now spoke an undiscreet word I have done a most unworthy Action and such a one as may be the occasion of great Disorder I know not what blindness shut my Eyes and caused me to fall into this sin in truth I am very much ashamed of it and afflicted for it but that which troubles me most and renders me comfortless is that you are offended Nevertheless if I have been less Prudent you are not the less Merciful or less sensible of my Tears I behold a tender compassion in your Eyes where I see your wonted Bounty Methinks I feel that Love in your Heart which is the Joy and Comfort of my Life Look and make Experiment of it your self and you will find that notwithstanding my ingratitude the flames of your Charity are not yet extinguished and that you are the same to day you were from all Eternity Sweet Meek and abounding in Mercy CHAP. VIII How we are to lay open our Daily Infirmities before Almighty GOD. UPon occasion of these light and ordinary faults that often happen and almost every hour beg of him that he would not forget what he knows better than you to wit that you are an infamous sinner and like an infant subject to continual falls tho' his Fatherly goodness seem not to permit him to be angry at you Represent before him that a Son and Heir of two years old the Hopes and Darling of the Family is not less pleasing to his Mother when he falls than when he stands on his feet but the contrary for then it is that she takes him up and more tenderly cherishes him Tell him that it is the Nature of Step-Mothers to be angry or correct their little Children because they fall a true compassionate Mother of which he will bear the Name as soon as she sees her Child fallen runs to help him up with a Motherly affection and instead of Rigour and Threats hides him in her Bosom Flatters and Embraces him and endeavours by her Kisses and Caresses to asswage his Pain and to hinder him from crying and afflicting himself Great God you give me the Name of your little One which you hold on your Knees or lead by the Hand to teach me to go Behold what I am and when I Fall see what you ought to be and what your Goodness requires of you 'T is true my most dear Father and even this very day in your Presence notwithstanding my many Resolutions and Promises I am fallen into my daily and wonted Imperfections Yet be not angry with me I have reason indeed to cry and be afflicted this belongs to me but it belongs to you my Beloved to give me your Hand to help me up to take me into your Arms to dry up my Tears to dissipate my Disquiets and Fears and to assure me that you still Love me and cease not to be my God. I do not deny but you have a great deal of reason to complain that after so many Confessions made so many Pardons and Favours received you see me fall into such frequent Relapses Yet methinks you have a great deal of reason to excuse in me these unavoidable Weaknesses or at least if you are angry or displeas'd with them to let your anger fall upon my Parents who conceiv'd me in Ignorance and gave me their Sin in part of my Being Alas Divine Saviour vouchsafe but a little to regard what is in me and what I am what an Heart has been bestowed on me and what Blood has been made use of to form a Creature that ought to be as pure and impeccable as the Angels As soon as I sprung out of nothing you refus'd me what is most Holy your Grace without which I was born My Parents gave me only of their own what was most impure I received of you a Soul which immediatly was infected with Sin before it was at my Disposal and of them a Body already tainted with Corruption and bad Inclinations And since I became so miserable without my actual Concurrence there seemeth to be some little reason why you should grant Pardon for those Imperfections which naturally flow from so bad
a Source I should be to blame notwithstanding should I demand that your infinite Sanctity should not regard my Failings with displeasure I am displeas'd with them my self and suffer most sorrowful Regrets and Remorses for them I tell you however what I do to comfort my self and what in my opinion you should do to appease your anger and to have towards me no other Sentiments but of Compassion and no other designs but of Mercy For my part O my God at the very moment I have Sinned I look upon you in the same State and Condition you were in on Mount Calvary where you thought of nothing but of Pardoning and blotting out of Sins and searching out Sinners throughout the whole World to wash them in your most precious Blood. This is that which I behold and this makes me run to you O adorable Mercy behold here the Sinner you seek after For your part O my God in the same moment you see me fallen behold me in the same state in which by your Mercy I hope to be one day in Heaven where I shall think of nothing else but loving you When you behold me here below you see a Person who during thirty or fourty years of his Life passes not one day nay perhaps not one hour without Offending you by some Fault or other But when you behold me in Paradise you behold a Saint that passes millions of Years and Ages nay an intire Eternity without offending you so much as once and that ceases not each moment of this long Eternity to Glorify and Love you Look upon me then in this state and be not angry to see me upon Earth for fifty or sixty years that is two or three Minutes in respect of Eternity to be the subject of frailty and frequent failings CHAP. IX How to make your Applications to God in ordinary Doubts and Difficulties REmember to acquit your self of this Duty of Confidence of which I speak in the occasions where you ought to deliberate upon some unforeseen event or of some difficulty that troubles you where you cannot well perceive what you are to do nor what Resolutions you are to take Give O Lord a word in my Mouth and counsel in my Heart Send forth O my God your light to direct me By some mark of your Wisdom teach my Soul what to Answer what 't is to do in this conjuncture and which is the best means of those that occur to me or that my Friends propose direct my Path and permit me not to go astray I see a great many Advises but I desire to know which is yours give me a knowledge of it and with your Hand direct and guide my Inclinations to bend that way you direct and to pitch upon the choice you inspire I cannot but act prudently and prosperously whilst the splendour of your Wisdom shines upon me to direct me in the Darkness I am in when your Light shines upon my Head by it I shall walk securely in the midst of Darkness In a word Live in a continual exercise and communication with God Look upon him no otherwise than a powerful and faithful Friend who is night and day by your fide Have with him as I have said the most free and amorous Familiarity you can confiding even your Diffidences and Fears to him as also your most hidden Weaknesses all your Thoughts and Desires and the different Motions of your irresolute Prudence or your secret Disquiets Before thee O God is all my Desire and my Groans are not hid from thee CHAP. X. He is not displeas'd with every Complaint to him of himself and in what manner we may do it GOd is so well pleas'd that you should speak to him in a Familiar and Friendly manner that though you should have a mind now and then even to complain of his own Providence and of that Severity wherewith he seems to treat you he will not be angry at it provided it be done in an Amorous and Respectful way When you are overwhelm'd with Grief and can receive no Answer to your Prayers you may imitate our Blessed Saviour on the Cross and lovingly Cry out unto him My God my God why hast thou forsaken me You may say with David Why O Lord have you gone from me and do despise me in the occasion What is this O my God that you know me not when I weep and withdraw your self from me whilst I am bath'd in Tears and have most need of your Comfort and your helping hand c. I cry unto you and you hear me not I stand before you and you behold me not you are chang'd and become cruel towards me Where are you O my Divine Saviour Where is your Mercy Where is your Love I call you and you answer me not I cry out as loud as I am able and you do not hear me I make known the grief that oppresses me and the deplorable condition I am in and you turn your face from me and will not behold me But after these pious Complaints fail not to return to your Sentiments of Confidence and Humility Yet O Lord you do not stretch out your Hand to consume me Tho' great God you are angry yet I perceive your design is not to destroy me all these blowes from your Hands are favourable stroakes and presage my Happiness 'T is your Goodness is the cause of my Suffering the more I suffer the more I am assur'd of your Love and that your Providence hath secret Thoughts and designs of Love towards me which when I least hope for them will comfort me and surpass my desires Behold thou art our God we expected thee and thou shalt save us we waited and we shall exult and rejoyce in thy Salvation CHAP. XI We are to represent the Afflictions of others unto God as well as our own YOu do well to think of your Troubles and Pains when you are in his presence but think also of those that others suffer Tell him the News of those you know and endeavour to draw some Grace and Mercy from his Heart for the Comfort of such as according to the Prophet are nourish'd upon Earth with the Bread of Tears their Misery is the ordinary subject of discourse they Talk and make Complaint of it in all Companies but the Complaints they make profit them very little They will do them service Devout Soul when in your familiar Entertainments you make them and recount them to God telling him the Poverty and Miseries you know are in several Families In Truth my dear Master I can go no where but I find some Tears and I may say with Truth that from the time I knew and began to converse with Men I have scarce known one without a Complaint and whom I have not beheld to shed just Tears of grief It seems to me I am born only to behold Afflictions and afflicted People and to behold them with a seeming Cruelty not being able to help them This want
and the heart of my Confessor who hath known and deplor'd them should be touch'd with them I wish I had the heart of all Men and Angels and with this multitude of Hearts that I were able to form such a violent hatred and detestation as might equal my Sadness and Misery O Lord employ your Power and Mercy Create in me a new heart and give it me to no other end but to Love you This desire pleaseth our Saviour as did the desire of David St. Peter and many other Penitent Sinners who after they had employ'd many years in sighing and bewailing their Sins having exhausted their Tears asked for those who might raise in their Soul such a source of bitter Waters that might not be exhausted but might endure their whole Life Who will give water to my Head and a Fountain of Tears to my Eyes that I may Weep day and night says the Royal Prophet Contemplating the open Veines of your Crucified Spouse O Devout Soul repeat the same Words but say them sincerely and from your Heart and rather Sighs of Love then Words Who will give Water to my Head c. O my dear Master how happy should I be to see Torrents of Tears flow from my Eyes which might joyn themselves to the torrent of your Blood and run together with it in each Corner where my Sins have been committed to the end that those who have known me a Sinner may know me also a Penitent and see eternal marks of my Sorrow O all of you who have heard of the scandal of my Life come and hearken to my Cryes and Lamentations and behold my Sorrow Behold it O my God and consider what passeth in my Soul. I hope in you in the state I am in have the goodness not to refuse to Love me in it At least refuse not to behold me and to let that vertue pass from your Eyes to my Soul which gives Grace and Life Behold me O God and consider me God beholds thee O Sunamite and during these holy Hours in which thou findest thy grief and the convulsions of thy afflicted Conscience to return he fails not to comfort thee repeating by himself Interiorly what he hath caused the Prophets and Evangelists to tell thee that thy Sins are pardoned and blotted out and that the least stain of them remains not in thy Heart This I know O Divine Saviour but there remains still a memory of them in thy mind Alas great God it seems little comfort to tell me I pardon you It seems to me that to make this comfort perfect you should find some invention to be ignorant of what I have done and to forget whatever happened to me during the years of my criminal and scandalous Life For how is it possible to live in the presence of God who has beheld all my Infidelities and still remembers them And how is it possible to be comforted by the news they daily tell me from you that my Sins are wash'd in the Blood you spilt for me so long as I also know that they appear yet in your sight and will do so for an Eternity and that amidst the Splendours of Paradise the Age of my Ingratitudes will be an Eternal object Thou hast put our Sins in thy sight our Age in the light of thy Countenance God who beholds with pleasure this kind of holy Fears and Anxieties in your Mind is ready to give you an entire Consolation And when during these familiar Entainmens he Comforts you about them he speaks as One who by an ineffable Miracle has extended his Power so far as to put all in Oblivion and buried the memory of your Sins in such an Abyss as they shall never be able to get out of He will dispose our Iniquities and cast our Sins into the depth of the Sea because he will have Mercy CHAP. XX. In what manner we are to Treat with God in Scruples and Fears of our Salvation or any thing else BUt if peradventure that should happen to you which often does even to most innocent Souls to be troubled out of Fear that some hidden Sin lurks still in your Conscience or that God has a design of anger and Reprobation against you as soon as you perceive this thought fail not to enter into your self and to be angry and blame your self for this disquiet as a fault perhaps more hateful to his Wisdom and Mercy than all the Sins you have Committed Be asham'd of it and resist it as a blast from Hell and speak of it to your Spouse with abomination and horror detesting such a blind and criminal diffidence In regard also of those weaknesses which make fear the Power of Men or Devils forming in your imagination scruples and Chimerical ideas which prosecute you very importunely and excite in your Soul inclinations to Despair take care you permit your self not to be dejected by this importunity of the enemy Open your Eyes and behold how unworthy you are that God should Love you whilst you let your self to be frighted in this manner and permit these fumes and shaddows to have so much force as to trouble you who art beloved by God and sustain'd by his Grace and therefore tell him O my beloved what blindness and what unworthiness is this From whence proceeds this Fear and how can it enter into my heart to distrust you amidst those many Miracles of your Mercy and Love towards me 'T is true I have been a sinner I came from nothing and am Dust and Ashes a Worm generated of Filth But you are a God an eternal Comforter an invincible Protector of the miserable and it is you that say to me My dear Creature as nothing as thou art and as small a worm worthy to be trampled underfoot take comfort fear nothing because I am thy Saviour thy Beloved thy Faithful Friend and because it is I that have Sworn That the World shall sooner perish then that I should permit thee to do so or that the Devils should take thee out of my hand or the least evil arrive to thee so long as thou continuest in my Love. You tell me this O most powerfully Merciful and yet I cease not to tremble Mad and Senseless that I am your Prophet assures me that you keep me on your Knee as a tender Mother doth her only Infant and tenderly embrace me with the like transports of Love hiding me in your Breast as she doth her Beloved carrying me also so in your Arms as a Father doth his Son not able yet to go alone and that you will if I hinder it not in this manner support me to the end of my Life though I should arrive to never so great an Age. You tell me this my God I hear it I know it is you that speak and yet I ask you if you Love me if you think of me if you take notice of my Tears and if you hear my Voice And after the many Promises which you have made me